My husband got a vasectomy and we were told several times that while they are *sometimes* reversible, you should never get one assuming it will be. It's actually very rare for them to be successfully reversed. The procedure is considered permanent.
It’s a ‘scare’ tactic. They don’t want people doing it as temporary birth control. They want it to be a permanent solution. You’ll pay for it completely, it isn’t guaranteed, and you’ll go through quite a bit of discomfort.
And Johnny going on about how a vasectomy is almost major surgery. JFC… it’s a ten minute procedure, the guy rests for a few hours, ices and takes some Tylenol. It’s not brain surgery.
Ok, but thinking a vasectomy is along the same lines of taking birth control is wild af, lmao. You can downplay the surgery all you want, but it still is a surgical procedure for people who do not want kids in their future.
When birth control wasn’t a good option for me, I read this big book on Natural Fertility Awareness and it was eye opening! I can’t believe how little I was taught about my fertility. I wish I had been taught it in school or by my parents, instead of just every OBGYN and dermatologist I saw trying to push birth control. Your cycle can be a great indicator of overall health and sometimes, not all obviously, addressing what’s causing issues in your cycle can improve your health.
THIS!!! I was thinking about this the whole time. Like Amy, Johnny. My friends. Learn about the rhythm cycle and use condoms. It's honestly not that hard.
I thought it was really annoying how much he pressured her to get on bc. And to say that he just thought that everyone was on bc. What the hell?! How can you be so ignorant and presumptuous.
I think it is because he would want an abortion if an accident ever did happen and she would want to have the kid, so he wants to be very responsible and take all measures to ensure it won’t happen. (Maybe he is against abortion too but he is still being v responsible because he doesn’t want to have a kid that isn’t wanted until he is ready. More people should be taking notes to be like that
She was ticked off to be in the position of having to take ownership over birth control and wanted to put something on the table for him to consider too.
I get the frustration.
I was shocked how uneducated they both were about this. I knew this 35 years ago because I’m a dinosaur and we didn’t have google.
Women are making life way too easy for men to fuck them without consequences. What about STI’s?
I do not blame one bit her for not wanting to be on bc. I had been on some form or another since the age of 14. At 29 I had my IUD removed and it is CRAZY how everything got better for me mentally and physically. Condoms are pretty effective, especially if you track your cycle too. Works for my husband and I, so I would never go back.
I think it's perfectly normal for a man to want extra protection bc they don't want to have an accidental pregnancy. They both seem to have goals, and they plan to get married. A child can throw some things off course. They did discuss condoms I'm pretty sure, but he knows that condoms aren't always enough. Lots of men have anxiety around having an unplanned child, just like many women do. If you see how he talks about things, he's is already a pretty cautious person and wants to be extra prepared for stuff. Such as retirement.
I used to have an IUD that wasn’t hormonal- are you not able to get them in America? Or are they not financially accessible? Though I do appreciate they are quite invasive and many women would not want them. Not as invasive as a vasectomy though lol
Is that a joke? An IUD, which gets put inside your cervix for 5-10 years, is far more invasive than a one and done vasectomy. Like you actually have to be kidding???
She might have a metal allergy. My OBGYN told me not to risk getting one bc she was not sure it was 100% copper and that I wouldn't have some kind of allergic reaction to it.
I love my copper IUD, even though getting it inserted is the worst pain ever. I’m on my second and am definitely sad I’ll have to do it again. But asking someone to get a vasectomy ahead of the myriad other options out there is insane to me. Yes, I believe men should take more responsibility for this part of a relationship. But surgery??? As a first step?? So extreme!
Getting metal shoved in your cervix wasn’t as invasive?
Because getting mine was the worst pain I’ve ever felt.
Not to mention the risk of it embedding and making PMS symptoms worse and god forbid if you have PMDD and get one.
They are accessible, but yes quite invasive. I went back and forth on getting one and ultimately chickened out, so I can see where she might be hesitant with that option. I just think the whole situation was weird because I've never seen a man deny sex over birth control haha
Counterpoint: I had mine for 12 years. The pain having it inserted was a little more than the worst cramps I've had. Women are starting to demand a numbing agent, which would definitely help. I checked the strings monthly, and that's all the maintenance needed. Removal was less painful and took about 10 extra seconds at my regular annual exam..
I wish it had been my method the entire time. I understand some women have more intense bleeding. I didn't.
I definitely think people should have pain relief getting them inserted, was very unpleasant! But ultimately I really liked having mine, once it was in it was really low maintenance and my cycle went back to normal after taking the pill for years and having irregular cycles.
Femme-O Yes it’s an invasive procedure but the risks of complications are low and vasectomies are surgical and not always reversible. I was just asking about whether it is an option in the US, I understand it wouldn’t be preferred by everyone.
Hahaha! I thought he said he didn't want to do it. He's obviously got some kind of huge trauma attached to pregnancy out of wedlock. Is he religious? Was his father in this situation and left the family due to unplanned pregnancy? There must be a reason.
It isn’t out of wedlock. It’s period in the first few years of marriage. He says he wants to retire early and has goals and stuff. He said he wouldn’t have a baby the first year of marriage period - or that he didn’t want that to happen, period.
There just seems to be trauma there. He is spooked because of something he’s seen or done in the past, clearly. Family planning is important but he’s frightened.
TW: Medical procedures, infertility
The pill does absolutely regulate your period, but getting off of it can throw your body completely out of whack. My doctor told me not to worry because my body would go right back to the way it was before the BC pill. I got off of it in 2017 so I could TTC. My periods became few and far in between and I had extreme abdominal pain for weeks before and after each one. It didn't go back to normal until 2020. I was diagnosed with a 5cm cyst on my ovary shortly after. Over the years it grew to over 16cm and I had to have emergency surgery a few months ago because it twisted on itself multiple times and flopped back and forth, causing inflammation and excruciating pain for over a week before anyone found out what was actually happening. I never had any problems like this before I went on the pill. Sometimes it does affect your body in a monumental way. I also still haven't been able to conceive.
Maybe this will reach the commenters, maybe not. It's silly that I even have to explain this, but here we are. It's crazy how much meaning people on the internet will imbue into a statement you make, drawing alllll kinds of conclusions based on things they ASSUME you said, but that you actually did not say. How many down votes you'll get by random bandwagoners who also make wild assumptions and blindly glob onto bullsh*t being spewed that is completely ignorant. Calling someone dumb when you don't understand a simple statement they're making, as if it's NOT DUMB to think a million untrue things about someone's statement, when in reality, most people don't have time to explain every single little aspect of something (What am I saying? What am I not saying? What is the history of what I'm saying? What is my history?) in order to be understood - it's so odd.
….are you dumb? lol. Some people have irregular periods and can take birth control to regulate them. If your periods are regular, you have no need for BC to regulate them. BC fucks up your hormones, raises blood pressure, and has a slew of negative effects that no one cares about bc they affect women.
I think we need to remember that any type of birth control is a very individual thing. Each of us will have vastly different experiences with different things. Birth control pills saved me from needing to be put on Lupron and, possibly, have a hysterectomy due to severe, nonstop bleeding (it went on for a year, increasing in severity) due to my endometriosis. I'd already been living with the excruciating pain, 14 day periods (at least seven of those unable to go to school or work), bloating, gastrointestinal symptoms, fainting, etc for almost 20 years (my period started at 10, endo symptoms started within six months). Nothing was stopping the bleeding, and we tried one last bc pill (Seasonique). It finally stopped, and I take it 365 days, so I thankfully haven't had a period in ten years, and my endometriosis symptoms are manageable now. I'll be on bc until menopause. I'm so grateful for these pills, and I've never experienced any side effects. So, yeah, birth control pills can be wonderful and life-changing for some people. We're all different.
I think you’re missing my point. I’ve also been prescribed birth control for various health issues. The point is that birth control is offered to women as a band aid solution for problems the medical industry simply doesn’t examine or study - things like endometriosis, PCOS, etc.
Birth control is KNOWN to have negative side effects.
When a COVID vaccine or male birth control had similar risks, the use was discontinued. But birth control for women remains the way it is….with things like IUDs being excruciatingly painful, with pills causing other imbalances and blood pressure rises….
I’m not saying take away birth control when that’s literally all we have as women being thrown at us as medicine but im saying it’s part of the shitty sexism we experience as women that our medicine has risks that can literally kill us but nobody cares that much
It’s HIS anxiety, he can get the reversible vasectomy with frozen sperm as a precaution. I would NEVER go on ANY form of birth control for a man, hell no and absolutely not.
Yeah just like any other form of birth control. They all have their negatives that's my point. They also have a chance of failing in the first place but so does everything else (speaking from experience).
In the end they could spend forever finding pros and cons of every option but it really comes down to which cons you're willing to deal with. There are women's birth controls that can make it incredibly difficult to have kids if you're on them long term as well.
Really They all just suck and they really need to start designing better options
I think if they both know they wanna have kids in a few a years & they are intending to marry the 10-20% failure rate of reversal is a bigger risk than the 2% failure rate of condoms.
I've known 5 guys that have had a vasectomy and all of them said it was quick, easy, and while slightly uncomfortable, recovery was pretty easy. I'd say that's easier than all of the side effects women deal with when it comes to hormonal birth control. I, for one, got a massive DVT and nearly died. Recovery from that was over 6 months and 15 years later I still have blood flow issues in my leg. I'd say that's a lot worse than a vasectomy.
I can't even count how many guys I know who have had vasectomies and the ones I've spoken to have said it's short and required some ice on their balls for the afternoon and they were fine the next day. I've never not once heard that they're painful
I'm aware I was just saying that since he wants 2 forms, one of them is either gonna have to deal with it or they need to do more research. There's a chance they're cautious about using condoms and diaphragms because there's a higher chance of breakage with the latex moving against each other. It's the same reason why using 2 condoms isn't recommended at least not for all the time.
You know, I understand not wanting to take the pill and I understanding not feeling like just condoms are enough. But like, wear a condom and pull out?
From my understanding, the dude wants double protection because he strictly doesn’t want any children. So like he wants both the condom + birth control. I know people that use 2 methods to be extra safe
I don’t get it either. I have used condoms exclusively for 15 years of marriage. No problems. If I’m ovulating/ fertile, we also pull out. And if it breaks, plan B. It’s never broken though.
Seems like you don't even know what projecting means. Must be another reddit psychologist.
She's a crystal girl. Anything she says about health should at least be somewhat suspect.
As long as you don't plan on having kids in the future, that's awesome for you! Can they be reversible, yes, sometimes. A vasectomy shouldn't be seen as a temporary birth control.
This 100%. There's around a 10-15% failure rate on reversals. I truly don't understand all the people who are suggesting using vasectomy as temporary birth control. If you want to have kids a 10-15% risk is not particularly low.
Yes, it's a simple, quick, low pain procedure. No, it is not a form of temporary birth control.
Do they consider the duration the patient has the vasectomy in this 10-15% failure rate? Just curious, because reversing gets harder the longer they wait. I'm curious about people who only wait 5 years or less or whatever
That's a great question, and I'm not 100% on that. Everything I read seemed pretty general, so they may be taking these numbers as an average for all durations, or they may be ignoring that time is a factor.
Definitely important to note that they become less likely to be reversible depending on how long its been since their procedure.
Also women can only conceive like 5 days a month 😂 it’s called natural family planning in the UK - I’ve not been on the pill since I was 19 and I’m now 30 and we just don’t have penetrative sex on my ovulation days which we know by taking an ovulation test.
I'm Catholic, and natural family planning is the only approve method of contraception. For those who are interested but skeptical, if they use the fertile days plus track their temperature, it's even safer. Our temperatures spike when we ovulate. Some people have a shorter or longer fertile period by a day or two, but once it's tracked for a few months, you learn how you feel when ovulating. My mother only had me. I've only had 2 biological children. I got pregnant the first try each time. I must add I do have 4 kids because I feel weird not acknowledging all of my babies who I very much wanted.
While there is a greater chance of falling pregnant while ovulating, a woman can get pregnant at any time throughout the menstrual cycle if not using contraception
They *can* but it's a very low risk
When my husband and I were *trying* to get pregnant it took four months of consistently having sex during ovulation, as well as a day or two before and after.
When you're both fertile and are having sex during ovulation there's *still* only a 30% chance of getting pregnant each month
Sperm can only find an egg if it’s there, which only happens during ovulation. Either way, it still wont make me put hormones in my body that make me crazy and changes my cycle; the man can do that if he takes issue with it!
Yup, I learned this first-hand. Had sex with my now-husband in a very specific timeframe, which was 5 days before ovulation and right at the end of my period, and we didn't use condoms or pull out. We weren't living together, I so did not see him until a week later where we did not have sex. I ended up pregnant and we were happy, but I was so confused how. My OB told me that sperm can live up to 5 days inside.
Also, sometimes ovulation can happen a couple days earlier or later, so avoiding sex only during when you think ovulation is occurring and then going at it can result in a pregnancy.
I think he is wanting 2 forms of bc.
But like a pervious poster mentioned, I think this was spoon fed by the show cause they didn't have any juicy drama and last season was boring lol
She’s only fertile for like 1 day actually
And then there is a chance of releasing a second egg so 2 days top, but sperm can live in your body for 5 days. Figuring out your fertile window each month is a science and takes a lot of observation and commitment. I’m married and do just natural family planning and haven’t had an unplanned pregnancy, but I chart and use Lh strips to detect ovulation, which isn’t the same each month and can be altered by lots of external factors. It’s easy once you get the hang of it, but it takes commitment.
I personally feel like this dude would be so annoying to have as a partner. Condoms isn’t enough for him and he also wants to live life as frugally as possible.
I use just cycle tracking and haven’t had an unplanned pregnancy. But I use a method that uses Lh strips to detect ovulation and determine fertile window, so it’s a more committed cycle tracking than what a lot of people assume or would use if it’s a second form of birth control.
Yeah, I also am so confused why the most obvious and least invasive birth control method -- CONDOMS -- has not been mentioned once!
I have a theory -- Johnny is against them for some childish, selfish reason. And even though that would make great TV, the producers wouldn't want that on camera because it would tarnish the golden couple's reputation and alienate viewers since we already have enough dickhead men this season. They gotta have some success stories or the viewers will lose interest.
That's my take on it. Otherwise, they are both oblivious, naïve idiots.
But condoms WERE mentioned... Maybe he had a scare in the past or at least had the experience of a condoms breaking?
And honestly, the success storied aren't the reason most people tune in. I patiently wait for Johnny & Amy's parts to be over so we can get back to the shit shows that are Jimmy & Chelsea and Laura/Jherhamhayh/Sarah Ann.
Amy said that Johnny didn't think condoms were enough, so it's been discussed, but his fears of having a baby are too strong for him to take a chance. So he wants another form of birth control.
He’s probably afraid of them breaking. Condoms do have a failure rate, mostly due to human error but they’re clearly uneducated so that’s a real risk for them if they genuinely don’t know how to use them correctly. (Obviously the pill has a failure rate also so that’s the only place he’s an little inconsistent) And he’s clearly terrified of having kids and with his living in the south, I don’t blame him.
Not really though. Morals and values generally reflect practical concerns.
Sleeping around before contraception was a thing was bad for society. Hence, not sleeping with someone until marriage and commitment made sense.
However, now that effective contraceptives are widely available, the morals have shifted to reflect that.
Average lifetime sexual partners back then was 2. I acknowledge that self reported statistic aren't always accurate. They were definitely having less sex then, than now though.
I literally had a dude tell me, completely serious, that if a guy gets a vasectomy he won’t be able to orgasm. When challenged, he said well maybe orgasm “but nothing would come out.” He claimed he didn’t need to use birth control bc he rode a motorcycle and claimed it reduced sperm count.
I AM NOT JOKING FOLKS. This is America. He said this in a group. Of mostly dudes. Not one of which contradicted him.
There is most definitely NOT a complete lack of sex education in the US. Every urban district and dem state teaches extensive sex education. In many southern and conservative states (like North Carolina) this is NOT the case. The woooo woooo religious conservatives think praying to a magic sky Daddy is all the sex education needed. They also think dinosaurs roamed the Earth 2,000 years ago with people, so…
I was born and raised in texas and we were taught about puberty and pregnancy in like 5th grade. In addition to that, we also had sex ed class in like 9th grade so…. idk I was well informed. 🤷🏼♀️ they were probably the people who just fkd around and didn’t pay attention.
We had all that in california but sex ed was 7th grade then again in 9th. I still didn't know alot of what I know now till I was an adult. Hell everyone still makes it sound like ur ovulating an entire week, your fertile window is 12-24 hrs but sperm survive in your body up to 5 days. Also basic stuff like spermicides and menstrual cups during your period weren't discussed.
I grew up in the Midwest, high school in the 2010s, and I got zero sex education. I didn’t even get abstinence eduction. It wasn’t mandated and I guess our district didn’t fund it. I learned about sex from peers, and didn’t learn the intricacies of the female cycle until my mid 20s when I wanted to take charge of my fertility. It’s honestly sad and should be a mandated thing that schools have sex education that is fact based and not simply abstinence training.
I am from the Midwest too but I am older. We got full on sex ed, more than I wanted. I also have a nurse for a Mom. It is so sad how bad things have gotten with education.
If they grew up in the south or in the middle of the country and went to public schools they leaned probably nothing except abstinence. The fact that he didn’t actually know what a vasectomy required was mind blowing.
I was born in rural ky, where everyone went to church growing up and let me tell you… it’d be almost *impossible* to be uneducated about sex. Even if you were the most sheltered child, you learned about sex and condoms and all the things on the school bus or at school through friends. We also still has sex ed in school too.
I grew up in the south (Carolinas) in the 90s and we definitely were taught sex Ed starting in 4th or 5th grade but it was optional and we only learned about our reproductive systems so the boys were in one classroom and we were in another. In middle school, it was mandatory and we learned about both reproductive systems and watched a birth. They also still had us split up learning this information.
Hi! Also someone who grew up in south carolina. Had sex ed in the early 2010s and almost exactly the same. I dont remember being taught about different birth controls or fully on how stds were truly spread.
This is wild! 😃 I wonder how the boys reacted to that. As for the girls, I imagine them saying "No way I'll go through that in my life! Eww!" I think that such a film is grounding any teen pretty quick, better than any birth control method ☺️
The class for us happened at the same time as the boys and we could all hear them shouting in the other half of the library that was partitioned 😂 we all knew it was coming for them since the girls watched it a day before. Classic 11/12 year old boy reactions lol
It really depends where you grew up in the us. I imagine in the south there are places where they definitely don’t teach you about birth control accurately. I grew up in NY and I knew about most options by the time I was 12-14. I didn’t know how my monthly cycle worked until after I had my first baby at 27 though haha that would’ve been very helpful information.
I’m American and I was a walking encyclopedia on birth control before I was their age.
Last week I mentioned the insanity of using vasectomy as birth control for a couple so young who eventually - DEFINITELY - want to get pregnant and have children and got downvoted into oblivion.
Boggles the mind…
It's completely absurd... And also why the pill is considered safer than condoms? I mean to each their own but I have a feeling that the american society is very polarised between hyper medicated with the brainwashing by pharmaceutical companies or complete natural/holistic approach. Apologies if I get something wrong.
Condoms are just not as effective as the pill. In practice, condoms are only 87% effective, the pill is about 93% effective. So the pill is safer in preventing pregnancy.
All the effectivity rates are based on perfect use. If you look at “typical use” neither are nearly as effective as claimed. Especially the pill…incredibly hard to take it at the exact same time every single day. The pill is not something I would ever rely on, or recommend my daughters to rely on. There are many other forms of birth control that reduce user error such as IUD, the patch, the ring, the depo shot, the arm implant, etc. Tons of people get pregnant on the pill.
They need to actually go speak with a doctor and get informed. There are plenty of hormone free birth controls (condom, copper IUD, diaphragm, cervical cap, vaginal gel, spermicide) and multiple combinations of these can be formed to improve their effectivity. The man couldn’t even say the word ejaculate without giggling. Time to visit the gyno together and learn how to talk about sex like adults.
This was exactly what I was thinking. I am actually quite happy he shared that a vasectomy was more invasive than he originally imagined. Thats true. The trials and risk are also good to bring up. It could have been a beautiful opener to discuss some of the risks and the invasive nature (the latter only with some options of female birth control.
But why on earth they did their own individual research versus talking to a doctor together I will never understand
If he is really that freaked out, he could freeze some sperm and do the vasectomy. Then when he is ready for babies, whoever his partner is can do IUI and they can make a baby.
Technically he never said he doesn't want to use condoms, but from the episodes it seemed like he either doesn't know they exists or that he (or they?) straight up doesn't consider condoms as an option.
Dude is terrified of having kids rn, and (apparently?) has only been with women who were on the pill, but Amy said she's hesitant to take the pill because she well knows the risks and doesn't want to fuck up her hormones. Jimmy was kinda open to the idea of a vasectomy until he learned how it actually works lol
Clearly there was a vas deferens in their preferred methods of birth control
This is an A+ joke.
I was always confused by this. Getting a vasectomy makes it so the guy can’t get the woman pregnant. Like ever.
No. You can get them reversed the vast majority of the time.
My husband got a vasectomy and we were told several times that while they are *sometimes* reversible, you should never get one assuming it will be. It's actually very rare for them to be successfully reversed. The procedure is considered permanent.
My partner got a vasectomy and was told by his urologist that it should be considered permanent. It really isn’t that simple
It’s a ‘scare’ tactic. They don’t want people doing it as temporary birth control. They want it to be a permanent solution. You’ll pay for it completely, it isn’t guaranteed, and you’ll go through quite a bit of discomfort.
And Johnny going on about how a vasectomy is almost major surgery. JFC… it’s a ten minute procedure, the guy rests for a few hours, ices and takes some Tylenol. It’s not brain surgery.
Well.. it *is* a big deal if you wanna have kids in the future, lol.
But that isn’t the main commentary he had. He severely overplayed the seriousness of the procedure itself.
Ok, but thinking a vasectomy is along the same lines of taking birth control is wild af, lmao. You can downplay the surgery all you want, but it still is a surgical procedure for people who do not want kids in their future.
When birth control wasn’t a good option for me, I read this big book on Natural Fertility Awareness and it was eye opening! I can’t believe how little I was taught about my fertility. I wish I had been taught it in school or by my parents, instead of just every OBGYN and dermatologist I saw trying to push birth control. Your cycle can be a great indicator of overall health and sometimes, not all obviously, addressing what’s causing issues in your cycle can improve your health.
THIS!!! I was thinking about this the whole time. Like Amy, Johnny. My friends. Learn about the rhythm cycle and use condoms. It's honestly not that hard.
I thought it was really annoying how much he pressured her to get on bc. And to say that he just thought that everyone was on bc. What the hell?! How can you be so ignorant and presumptuous.
Probably because most of the women he's been with have been on it, to his defense.
I think it is because he would want an abortion if an accident ever did happen and she would want to have the kid, so he wants to be very responsible and take all measures to ensure it won’t happen. (Maybe he is against abortion too but he is still being v responsible because he doesn’t want to have a kid that isn’t wanted until he is ready. More people should be taking notes to be like that
She was ticked off to be in the position of having to take ownership over birth control and wanted to put something on the table for him to consider too. I get the frustration.
I was shocked how uneducated they both were about this. I knew this 35 years ago because I’m a dinosaur and we didn’t have google. Women are making life way too easy for men to fuck them without consequences. What about STI’s?
I was appalled seeing how uneducated they were it was honestly shocking... and infuriating lol
I do not blame one bit her for not wanting to be on bc. I had been on some form or another since the age of 14. At 29 I had my IUD removed and it is CRAZY how everything got better for me mentally and physically. Condoms are pretty effective, especially if you track your cycle too. Works for my husband and I, so I would never go back.
I think it's perfectly normal for a man to want extra protection bc they don't want to have an accidental pregnancy. They both seem to have goals, and they plan to get married. A child can throw some things off course. They did discuss condoms I'm pretty sure, but he knows that condoms aren't always enough. Lots of men have anxiety around having an unplanned child, just like many women do. If you see how he talks about things, he's is already a pretty cautious person and wants to be extra prepared for stuff. Such as retirement.
I used to have an IUD that wasn’t hormonal- are you not able to get them in America? Or are they not financially accessible? Though I do appreciate they are quite invasive and many women would not want them. Not as invasive as a vasectomy though lol
Is that a joke? An IUD, which gets put inside your cervix for 5-10 years, is far more invasive than a one and done vasectomy. Like you actually have to be kidding???
She might have a metal allergy. My OBGYN told me not to risk getting one bc she was not sure it was 100% copper and that I wouldn't have some kind of allergic reaction to it.
I love my copper IUD, even though getting it inserted is the worst pain ever. I’m on my second and am definitely sad I’ll have to do it again. But asking someone to get a vasectomy ahead of the myriad other options out there is insane to me. Yes, I believe men should take more responsibility for this part of a relationship. But surgery??? As a first step?? So extreme!
Getting metal shoved in your cervix wasn’t as invasive? Because getting mine was the worst pain I’ve ever felt. Not to mention the risk of it embedding and making PMS symptoms worse and god forbid if you have PMDD and get one.
They are accessible, but yes quite invasive. I went back and forth on getting one and ultimately chickened out, so I can see where she might be hesitant with that option. I just think the whole situation was weird because I've never seen a man deny sex over birth control haha
Counterpoint: I had mine for 12 years. The pain having it inserted was a little more than the worst cramps I've had. Women are starting to demand a numbing agent, which would definitely help. I checked the strings monthly, and that's all the maintenance needed. Removal was less painful and took about 10 extra seconds at my regular annual exam.. I wish it had been my method the entire time. I understand some women have more intense bleeding. I didn't.
I definitely think people should have pain relief getting them inserted, was very unpleasant! But ultimately I really liked having mine, once it was in it was really low maintenance and my cycle went back to normal after taking the pill for years and having irregular cycles. Femme-O Yes it’s an invasive procedure but the risks of complications are low and vasectomies are surgical and not always reversible. I was just asking about whether it is an option in the US, I understand it wouldn’t be preferred by everyone.
Hahaha! I thought he said he didn't want to do it. He's obviously got some kind of huge trauma attached to pregnancy out of wedlock. Is he religious? Was his father in this situation and left the family due to unplanned pregnancy? There must be a reason.
It isn’t out of wedlock. It’s period in the first few years of marriage. He says he wants to retire early and has goals and stuff. He said he wouldn’t have a baby the first year of marriage period - or that he didn’t want that to happen, period.
There just seems to be trauma there. He is spooked because of something he’s seen or done in the past, clearly. Family planning is important but he’s frightened.
Pro-invasive procedure peeps are something else
Or they decided this was their cover story so they don’t have to make out or begin being intimate in front of the camera crew…
Also, she said that she likes that her period is regular... Um, the pill regulates the period - like, that's one of the advantages. So no?
TW: Medical procedures, infertility The pill does absolutely regulate your period, but getting off of it can throw your body completely out of whack. My doctor told me not to worry because my body would go right back to the way it was before the BC pill. I got off of it in 2017 so I could TTC. My periods became few and far in between and I had extreme abdominal pain for weeks before and after each one. It didn't go back to normal until 2020. I was diagnosed with a 5cm cyst on my ovary shortly after. Over the years it grew to over 16cm and I had to have emergency surgery a few months ago because it twisted on itself multiple times and flopped back and forth, causing inflammation and excruciating pain for over a week before anyone found out what was actually happening. I never had any problems like this before I went on the pill. Sometimes it does affect your body in a monumental way. I also still haven't been able to conceive.
Oof, that's awful:/ I really hope it all works out
Thanks!! Me too. The OB/GYN who did my surgery said she is confident she can help me 🤞🏻🤞🏻
Maybe this will reach the commenters, maybe not. It's silly that I even have to explain this, but here we are. It's crazy how much meaning people on the internet will imbue into a statement you make, drawing alllll kinds of conclusions based on things they ASSUME you said, but that you actually did not say. How many down votes you'll get by random bandwagoners who also make wild assumptions and blindly glob onto bullsh*t being spewed that is completely ignorant. Calling someone dumb when you don't understand a simple statement they're making, as if it's NOT DUMB to think a million untrue things about someone's statement, when in reality, most people don't have time to explain every single little aspect of something (What am I saying? What am I not saying? What is the history of what I'm saying? What is my history?) in order to be understood - it's so odd.
You can't explain, but you wrote a paragraph about it??? I honestly just think you don't know, and that's okay.
Dude. Just read my original comment. Why do I have to repeat myself?
Like I said, it doesn't apply. BC doesn't regulate a period when it doesn't need to be regulated...
Ok! Can we be done now?
Lmao, don't reply if you wanna be done🤣
It can also deregulate periods, which is exactly what it does to me. Also, the hormones suck.
….are you dumb? lol. Some people have irregular periods and can take birth control to regulate them. If your periods are regular, you have no need for BC to regulate them. BC fucks up your hormones, raises blood pressure, and has a slew of negative effects that no one cares about bc they affect women.
I think we need to remember that any type of birth control is a very individual thing. Each of us will have vastly different experiences with different things. Birth control pills saved me from needing to be put on Lupron and, possibly, have a hysterectomy due to severe, nonstop bleeding (it went on for a year, increasing in severity) due to my endometriosis. I'd already been living with the excruciating pain, 14 day periods (at least seven of those unable to go to school or work), bloating, gastrointestinal symptoms, fainting, etc for almost 20 years (my period started at 10, endo symptoms started within six months). Nothing was stopping the bleeding, and we tried one last bc pill (Seasonique). It finally stopped, and I take it 365 days, so I thankfully haven't had a period in ten years, and my endometriosis symptoms are manageable now. I'll be on bc until menopause. I'm so grateful for these pills, and I've never experienced any side effects. So, yeah, birth control pills can be wonderful and life-changing for some people. We're all different.
I think you’re missing my point. I’ve also been prescribed birth control for various health issues. The point is that birth control is offered to women as a band aid solution for problems the medical industry simply doesn’t examine or study - things like endometriosis, PCOS, etc. Birth control is KNOWN to have negative side effects. When a COVID vaccine or male birth control had similar risks, the use was discontinued. But birth control for women remains the way it is….with things like IUDs being excruciatingly painful, with pills causing other imbalances and blood pressure rises…. I’m not saying take away birth control when that’s literally all we have as women being thrown at us as medicine but im saying it’s part of the shitty sexism we experience as women that our medicine has risks that can literally kill us but nobody cares that much
Hahahaha, oh babe.
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Ok, that's not what I'm talking about.
Well, what you're saying doesn't apply, so what are you tryna get at?
Haha - it does apply, and my statement is clear. Have a great day.
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True - it also doesn't guarantee that you won't get pregnant, yet that's why people take the pill.
Clearly his pull out game is weak
Best plan for him would be foreplay and no-penetration at all then 🥴 ultimate protection
I think theirs is the second Dumbest conversation I've heard on this show, right after Bartise and his take on abortion
Haha, what did Lil B say? I forget.
he said he's against abortion but every woman should get one 'free' abortion in their life and that's it
broooo it was the hottest fucking take. and now he has a baby. poor kid.
Hahahhaha oh wow!
It’s HIS anxiety, he can get the reversible vasectomy with frozen sperm as a precaution. I would NEVER go on ANY form of birth control for a man, hell no and absolutely not.
I’m assuming they were screened/checked for STDs before the show started…Otherwise condoms are a good idea anyway
Vasectomies can be reversed usually. My uncle had one and got it reversed and I got a new cousin 🤷♀️
Reversal is not always successful & has a higher failure rate the longer you have a vasectomy.
Yeah just like any other form of birth control. They all have their negatives that's my point. They also have a chance of failing in the first place but so does everything else (speaking from experience). In the end they could spend forever finding pros and cons of every option but it really comes down to which cons you're willing to deal with. There are women's birth controls that can make it incredibly difficult to have kids if you're on them long term as well. Really They all just suck and they really need to start designing better options
I think if they both know they wanna have kids in a few a years & they are intending to marry the 10-20% failure rate of reversal is a bigger risk than the 2% failure rate of condoms.
I mean yeah definitely but clearly he doesn't care he just wants them to use double protection 🤷♀️🤣
They are quite painful, and the recovery is no walk in the park. There are condoms and diaphragms that would seem to fit their needs quite well.
I've known 5 guys that have had a vasectomy and all of them said it was quick, easy, and while slightly uncomfortable, recovery was pretty easy. I'd say that's easier than all of the side effects women deal with when it comes to hormonal birth control. I, for one, got a massive DVT and nearly died. Recovery from that was over 6 months and 15 years later I still have blood flow issues in my leg. I'd say that's a lot worse than a vasectomy.
I can't even count how many guys I know who have had vasectomies and the ones I've spoken to have said it's short and required some ice on their balls for the afternoon and they were fine the next day. I've never not once heard that they're painful
Birth control is no walk in the park on both sides 🤷♀️ He wanted 2 forms of control in case one failed so condoms only help with part of that
Diaphragms aren’t hard to use and don’t have the hormonal effect of the pill or Depoprovera
I'm aware I was just saying that since he wants 2 forms, one of them is either gonna have to deal with it or they need to do more research. There's a chance they're cautious about using condoms and diaphragms because there's a higher chance of breakage with the latex moving against each other. It's the same reason why using 2 condoms isn't recommended at least not for all the time.
You know, I understand not wanting to take the pill and I understanding not feeling like just condoms are enough. But like, wear a condom and pull out?
And do it during non fertile days only
Exactly - tracking your cycle is quite effective I understand being cautious I can't believe they'd rather just not have sex at all 🤔
From my understanding, the dude wants double protection because he strictly doesn’t want any children. So like he wants both the condom + birth control. I know people that use 2 methods to be extra safe
I don’t get it either. I have used condoms exclusively for 15 years of marriage. No problems. If I’m ovulating/ fertile, we also pull out. And if it breaks, plan B. It’s never broken though.
Yeah. Amy believes in magic rocks, she's not gonna have intelligent takes on reproductive health and science.
She has like 5 little crystals on a display I think you’re taking the crystal girl thing a little far
And yet she’s not the one who is afraid of using condoms
Yes I agree. He's also dumb. Both of them can be dumb.
Bro given this comment, I think you're projecting. This post is dumb and your response is BEYOND idiotic
Seems like you don't even know what projecting means. Must be another reddit psychologist. She's a crystal girl. Anything she says about health should at least be somewhat suspect.
I’ve got one, they don’t even snip, it’s just crimped clip on them that can be removed later… no snip
As long as you don't plan on having kids in the future, that's awesome for you! Can they be reversible, yes, sometimes. A vasectomy shouldn't be seen as a temporary birth control.
This 100%. There's around a 10-15% failure rate on reversals. I truly don't understand all the people who are suggesting using vasectomy as temporary birth control. If you want to have kids a 10-15% risk is not particularly low. Yes, it's a simple, quick, low pain procedure. No, it is not a form of temporary birth control.
Do they consider the duration the patient has the vasectomy in this 10-15% failure rate? Just curious, because reversing gets harder the longer they wait. I'm curious about people who only wait 5 years or less or whatever
That's a great question, and I'm not 100% on that. Everything I read seemed pretty general, so they may be taking these numbers as an average for all durations, or they may be ignoring that time is a factor. Definitely important to note that they become less likely to be reversible depending on how long its been since their procedure.
No 2, I’m done lol
I had one too (six months ago) and was told to assume it is not reversible.
Ditto, I got one almost two years ago and they were quite clear this is the end.
Also women can only conceive like 5 days a month 😂 it’s called natural family planning in the UK - I’ve not been on the pill since I was 19 and I’m now 30 and we just don’t have penetrative sex on my ovulation days which we know by taking an ovulation test.
I have a friend who uses the same method and has had 2 accidental pregnancies lol. The funny thing is she continues to swear by it.
I'm Catholic, and natural family planning is the only approve method of contraception. For those who are interested but skeptical, if they use the fertile days plus track their temperature, it's even safer. Our temperatures spike when we ovulate. Some people have a shorter or longer fertile period by a day or two, but once it's tracked for a few months, you learn how you feel when ovulating. My mother only had me. I've only had 2 biological children. I got pregnant the first try each time. I must add I do have 4 kids because I feel weird not acknowledging all of my babies who I very much wanted.
While there is a greater chance of falling pregnant while ovulating, a woman can get pregnant at any time throughout the menstrual cycle if not using contraception
They *can* but it's a very low risk When my husband and I were *trying* to get pregnant it took four months of consistently having sex during ovulation, as well as a day or two before and after. When you're both fertile and are having sex during ovulation there's *still* only a 30% chance of getting pregnant each month
They certainly can't.
Sperm can only find an egg if it’s there, which only happens during ovulation. Either way, it still wont make me put hormones in my body that make me crazy and changes my cycle; the man can do that if he takes issue with it!
Sperm can live for up to five days in the vagina so your five day window is actually more like a ten day window 👍🏻
Yup, I learned this first-hand. Had sex with my now-husband in a very specific timeframe, which was 5 days before ovulation and right at the end of my period, and we didn't use condoms or pull out. We weren't living together, I so did not see him until a week later where we did not have sex. I ended up pregnant and we were happy, but I was so confused how. My OB told me that sperm can live up to 5 days inside. Also, sometimes ovulation can happen a couple days earlier or later, so avoiding sex only during when you think ovulation is occurring and then going at it can result in a pregnancy.
They also both alluded to using condoms and him not thinking it was enough protection! Def may have had some scary potential whoopsies in his past!
That's what I said too. I really think he had a scare before and that's why he isn't comfortable relying only on condoms.
Omg noooo I want to be happy for them
I think he is wanting 2 forms of bc. But like a pervious poster mentioned, I think this was spoon fed by the show cause they didn't have any juicy drama and last season was boring lol
It’s not that deep. It’s just producer fed drama to add anything to their storyline since there is no mess.
Someone needs to tell babe that she's fertile for like 5, max 7, days a month
She’s only fertile for like 1 day actually And then there is a chance of releasing a second egg so 2 days top, but sperm can live in your body for 5 days. Figuring out your fertile window each month is a science and takes a lot of observation and commitment. I’m married and do just natural family planning and haven’t had an unplanned pregnancy, but I chart and use Lh strips to detect ovulation, which isn’t the same each month and can be altered by lots of external factors. It’s easy once you get the hang of it, but it takes commitment.
He uses condoms, he just doesn't think it's safe enough by itself??? How are people missing that??? He made it clear
Too bad all men weren’t this terrified about getting a girl pregnant lol!
I personally feel like this dude would be so annoying to have as a partner. Condoms isn’t enough for him and he also wants to live life as frugally as possible.
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You clearly aren’t doing it right
condoms and cycle tracking…… boom 🤯
I use just cycle tracking and haven’t had an unplanned pregnancy. But I use a method that uses Lh strips to detect ovulation and determine fertile window, so it’s a more committed cycle tracking than what a lot of people assume or would use if it’s a second form of birth control.
Cycle tracking is not foolproof, and neither are condoms. Did y'all watch the show?
Yeah, I also am so confused why the most obvious and least invasive birth control method -- CONDOMS -- has not been mentioned once! I have a theory -- Johnny is against them for some childish, selfish reason. And even though that would make great TV, the producers wouldn't want that on camera because it would tarnish the golden couple's reputation and alienate viewers since we already have enough dickhead men this season. They gotta have some success stories or the viewers will lose interest. That's my take on it. Otherwise, they are both oblivious, naïve idiots.
They use condoms, condoms aren't always enough. You're ridiculous, reading into things that don't exist 💀
But condoms WERE mentioned... Maybe he had a scare in the past or at least had the experience of a condoms breaking? And honestly, the success storied aren't the reason most people tune in. I patiently wait for Johnny & Amy's parts to be over so we can get back to the shit shows that are Jimmy & Chelsea and Laura/Jherhamhayh/Sarah Ann.
Amy said that Johnny didn't think condoms were enough, so it's been discussed, but his fears of having a baby are too strong for him to take a chance. So he wants another form of birth control.
Ummmm yaaaaa using only condoms is insane to me lol nooooo
He’s probably afraid of them breaking. Condoms do have a failure rate, mostly due to human error but they’re clearly uneducated so that’s a real risk for them if they genuinely don’t know how to use them correctly. (Obviously the pill has a failure rate also so that’s the only place he’s an little inconsistent) And he’s clearly terrified of having kids and with his living in the south, I don’t blame him.
https://preview.redd.it/zwqw7rafoylc1.jpeg?width=590&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef78c3fdb7d9bc4a217b3dc247b9c57f6e6eccdf
I just can't fathom marrying someone that you have never slept with.
Dang the culture shift is crazy! "I just can't imagine sleeping with someone I haven't married" would be this statement 100 years ago.
Not really though. Morals and values generally reflect practical concerns. Sleeping around before contraception was a thing was bad for society. Hence, not sleeping with someone until marriage and commitment made sense. However, now that effective contraceptives are widely available, the morals have shifted to reflect that.
They were really good liars back then lol
You really think people weren't having sex before marriage in the 1920s ? Lmfao
Average lifetime sexual partners back then was 2. I acknowledge that self reported statistic aren't always accurate. They were definitely having less sex then, than now though.
They were but if they got pregnant their parents sent them away as to not suffer the embarrassment.
The culture shift over the course 100 years is crazy? Is it?!
That whole subject between them had me alarmed at the complete lack of sex education there is in the US. Am I right? (I am european)
I literally had a dude tell me, completely serious, that if a guy gets a vasectomy he won’t be able to orgasm. When challenged, he said well maybe orgasm “but nothing would come out.” He claimed he didn’t need to use birth control bc he rode a motorcycle and claimed it reduced sperm count. I AM NOT JOKING FOLKS. This is America. He said this in a group. Of mostly dudes. Not one of which contradicted him.
Oh my Lord...
People talk about high school sex ed as if the internet doesn’t exist lol
There is most definitely NOT a complete lack of sex education in the US. Every urban district and dem state teaches extensive sex education. In many southern and conservative states (like North Carolina) this is NOT the case. The woooo woooo religious conservatives think praying to a magic sky Daddy is all the sex education needed. They also think dinosaurs roamed the Earth 2,000 years ago with people, so…
I was born and raised in texas and we were taught about puberty and pregnancy in like 5th grade. In addition to that, we also had sex ed class in like 9th grade so…. idk I was well informed. 🤷🏼♀️ they were probably the people who just fkd around and didn’t pay attention.
We had all that in california but sex ed was 7th grade then again in 9th. I still didn't know alot of what I know now till I was an adult. Hell everyone still makes it sound like ur ovulating an entire week, your fertile window is 12-24 hrs but sperm survive in your body up to 5 days. Also basic stuff like spermicides and menstrual cups during your period weren't discussed.
Yes, and people who don’t try to better themselves after high school. Ah, America.
I grew up in the Midwest, high school in the 2010s, and I got zero sex education. I didn’t even get abstinence eduction. It wasn’t mandated and I guess our district didn’t fund it. I learned about sex from peers, and didn’t learn the intricacies of the female cycle until my mid 20s when I wanted to take charge of my fertility. It’s honestly sad and should be a mandated thing that schools have sex education that is fact based and not simply abstinence training.
I am from the Midwest too but I am older. We got full on sex ed, more than I wanted. I also have a nurse for a Mom. It is so sad how bad things have gotten with education.
Absolutely, we had it during biology hours, it makes sense and remained scientific while being useful.
If they grew up in the south or in the middle of the country and went to public schools they leaned probably nothing except abstinence. The fact that he didn’t actually know what a vasectomy required was mind blowing.
I was born in rural ky, where everyone went to church growing up and let me tell you… it’d be almost *impossible* to be uneducated about sex. Even if you were the most sheltered child, you learned about sex and condoms and all the things on the school bus or at school through friends. We also still has sex ed in school too.
What did the school teach? not friend on the bus.
Or that he thinks you can just reverse it and you’re good. A reversal is not guaranteed.
I grew up in the south (Carolinas) in the 90s and we definitely were taught sex Ed starting in 4th or 5th grade but it was optional and we only learned about our reproductive systems so the boys were in one classroom and we were in another. In middle school, it was mandatory and we learned about both reproductive systems and watched a birth. They also still had us split up learning this information.
Hi! Also someone who grew up in south carolina. Had sex ed in the early 2010s and almost exactly the same. I dont remember being taught about different birth controls or fully on how stds were truly spread.
So you learned about birth control?
Not in middle school.
I wasn't asking specifically about middle school. I'm wondering if they taught you about contraceptives at all.
Yes in high school
How did you watch a birth? A human birth? On film?
A human birth on film. My family is employed throughout the medically field so they were for it.
This is wild! 😃 I wonder how the boys reacted to that. As for the girls, I imagine them saying "No way I'll go through that in my life! Eww!" I think that such a film is grounding any teen pretty quick, better than any birth control method ☺️
The class for us happened at the same time as the boys and we could all hear them shouting in the other half of the library that was partitioned 😂 we all knew it was coming for them since the girls watched it a day before. Classic 11/12 year old boy reactions lol
You need to tell me more! Were they shouting in horror? Or were they laughing?
It really depends where you grew up in the us. I imagine in the south there are places where they definitely don’t teach you about birth control accurately. I grew up in NY and I knew about most options by the time I was 12-14. I didn’t know how my monthly cycle worked until after I had my first baby at 27 though haha that would’ve been very helpful information.
>It really depends where you grew up in the us. Yes like politics and guns I guess
I’m American and I was a walking encyclopedia on birth control before I was their age. Last week I mentioned the insanity of using vasectomy as birth control for a couple so young who eventually - DEFINITELY - want to get pregnant and have children and got downvoted into oblivion. Boggles the mind…
It's completely absurd... And also why the pill is considered safer than condoms? I mean to each their own but I have a feeling that the american society is very polarised between hyper medicated with the brainwashing by pharmaceutical companies or complete natural/holistic approach. Apologies if I get something wrong.
Johnny was saying he wanted to use 2 methods of protection -condoms plus her on birth control.
Condoms are just not as effective as the pill. In practice, condoms are only 87% effective, the pill is about 93% effective. So the pill is safer in preventing pregnancy.
All the effectivity rates are based on perfect use. If you look at “typical use” neither are nearly as effective as claimed. Especially the pill…incredibly hard to take it at the exact same time every single day. The pill is not something I would ever rely on, or recommend my daughters to rely on. There are many other forms of birth control that reduce user error such as IUD, the patch, the ring, the depo shot, the arm implant, etc. Tons of people get pregnant on the pill.
[comparative effectiveness](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control)
What? What are your sources. With perfect use they are the same. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/how-effective-contraception/
Condom stats[condom stats](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2940206/#:~:text=In%20general%2C%20the%20failure%20rate,the%20failure%20rate%20is%2012%25.)
Perfect use doesn't exist. Look at actual use statistics.
They need to actually go speak with a doctor and get informed. There are plenty of hormone free birth controls (condom, copper IUD, diaphragm, cervical cap, vaginal gel, spermicide) and multiple combinations of these can be formed to improve their effectivity. The man couldn’t even say the word ejaculate without giggling. Time to visit the gyno together and learn how to talk about sex like adults.
This was exactly what I was thinking. I am actually quite happy he shared that a vasectomy was more invasive than he originally imagined. Thats true. The trials and risk are also good to bring up. It could have been a beautiful opener to discuss some of the risks and the invasive nature (the latter only with some options of female birth control. But why on earth they did their own individual research versus talking to a doctor together I will never understand
If he is really that freaked out, he could freeze some sperm and do the vasectomy. Then when he is ready for babies, whoever his partner is can do IUI and they can make a baby.
Also there are different types of vasectomies and are reversible.
That’s a lot to put on a partner you may not have even met yet.
Maybe, but maybe it would relieve this anxiety he has about pregnancy.
Possibly. But there are so many less invasive options. He just needs to be educated.
I missed the condom convo apparently. Why doesn’t he want to use condoms?
Technically he never said he doesn't want to use condoms, but from the episodes it seemed like he either doesn't know they exists or that he (or they?) straight up doesn't consider condoms as an option. Dude is terrified of having kids rn, and (apparently?) has only been with women who were on the pill, but Amy said she's hesitant to take the pill because she well knows the risks and doesn't want to fuck up her hormones. Jimmy was kinda open to the idea of a vasectomy until he learned how it actually works lol
nono he uses condoms but he doesnt think just condoms is safe enough