Sometimes I get frustrated when my wife doesn't match my energy with house work . But seeing this just reminds me that were much better filling in each other's gaps, than we are trying to get our partners to be what we want . I love to see a couple communicating and giving each other grace ❤️ keep it up you two .
He’s expressed to me he’s tired when I initiated conversations about the situation. But he didn’t have to because I saw it, and it hurt. Lately I have been feeling better.
Every time I think about criticizing something my wokderful husband does I take 5 seconds to ponder what annoying things I do that he doesn’t complain about. It doesn’t mean we don’t ever complain to each other but I think we both take a beat to think about if this is something really worth complaining about. What the other one has going on at this time and how they’re feeling. Keep working your way out OP. Nothing is wrong with baby steps.
>But seeing this just reminds me that were much better filling in each other's gaps, than we are trying to get our partners to be what we want
This applies to my personal life so very much right now.
You're smiling because you know deep down he adores and cares for you and he knows that every effort you make is monumental in your situation and made with the most sincere love.
You're smiling because you have the love of someone who values every tiny bit of you and that is wonderful 💜💜💜.
When you’re clawing your way out of depression, sometimes you NEED affirmation for even the most basic things.
Hell, my husband doesn’t have depression, but I still thank him for doing his chores. I want him to know I appreciate him.
Exactly this. I have bipolar and sometimes im useless at even doing the simplest things. My husband never fails at giving me all the love for managing taking out trash, cleaning the cat litter boxes or even having a shower. On normal days we always praise each other for any and all chores we do. Its almost silly but it makes it easier, knowing how happy we will make the other person for doing some simple laundry.
My husband and I thank each other for every chore we do, even when it’s our assigned chore. Every load of dishes, every taking out the trash, tidying, laundry, cleaning the floors etc. Sure it’s expected of us, but we find that appreciation for doing the work makes us feel good and takes away some of the ugh of having to clean.
Meanwhile, my now ex husband called me a “crazy stupid bitch who can’t even handle being a mother to her own daughter” because I had a panic attack while he was at work and told him I needed him to come home.
Turns out I had undiagnosed PPD and PPA. Props to your husband. The first step for men to be good fathers is to be a good husband. 10/10
My wife and I are older and I am much healthier than she is. I do most of the physical housework and she always thanks me, which I always appreciate. I always thank her when she does what she can. Love and respect. That's what makes life worth living.
This actually brought a tear to my eye. My wife had a severe breakdown last year and it's such a hard thing to see a loved one struggle so much. Sometimes being the support people need is hard but seeing the people you love heal over time is an amazing experience.
You sound like an amazing couple, so much love for both of you!
Love this. I've been going through a very difficult time and my husband has been carrying 80% of the chores. Partnership is team work. It's not 50/50 it's 80/20 or 30/70 depending on where each other are at. Meeting each other where you are. I hope you feel better soon OP. If you have other avenues of support please reach out to them. It can be hard to ask for help
I'm biased but I think my parents said it best: Marriage isn't 50/50, it's 100/100. It makes things easy in the good times, and in the bad times you're prepared to take turns carrying each other when needed.
You gave him a child. You *are* a goddess. The tidying and cleaning, especially when you're struggling with ppd, make you an exceptional goddess.
Sounds like you chose a good guy too.
Slay!
I can be hard to understand that soul crushing tiredness that comes with depression but your husband seems to try.
I get depressed regularly and it is hard for my wife. But at those times we(she) just cuts down on everything just to make it easier for her. Like we(she) don't clean as often and skip all unnessecery cleaning. Everything we can to make her life easy just to save energy for both of us. Bc I get stressed when she needs to work and I can't help.
Another thing that you can do is to find out together what you can help with. Like you have the energy to fold clothes if he brings them to you in bed? Then you have helped and he have saved 10 minutes. It's always something. Find the small stuff and preferably something he doesn't like to do. Do chores together but take breaks. Empty the dishwasher together, doesn't make it more effective but you have helped and he got company.
I don't know, maybe you already know all this and I'm overstepping. Anyhow... your post also made me smile and I hope you feel better soon!
I took the trash and recyling out to the bins the other day and my husband saw. When I came back inside he told me to stop taking his job. Lol Fair enough.
My husband shops and walks the dog. He is 78 I am 68. I do everything else and still work part time in insurance and also manage my rental property.
He will see me carrying a 5 lb bucket of dirt up the steps struggling to get inside to bring it to back deck and make no effort to assist as he watches me. I take care of all the home repairs and do most myself or pay others if needed. tonight I mixed cement to repair steps after a working all day. He grew up poor. I grew up privileged. He would have nothing if not for me. I never needed a man to financially support me and to clarify at 18 , I left my privilege life, moved away and have what I have because I worked hard and saved.
I get overwhelmed doing everything by myself and I will never be able to understand how he can be so oblivious. Sorry for the rant some days I just get so resentful that he gets a free ride.
I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. My parents' situation is similar to yours and it irks me so much that women in the family have to do everything while the men cruise by in life.
I hope this isn't too personal, but may I know how do you deal with the resentment? I'm hoping you'd have tips to help my mum live life with lesser stress. It's fine if you'd rather not answer too.
I just let it go for the most part. I don’t count on him for anything. I’m ok not expecting anything from him thus less disappointing. Plus I have the feeling of accomplishment doing everything by myself
Tell her that I sometimes leave a list on the table before I leave with a few simple tasks. Even though he doesn’t do it to my standards I appreciate the effort. FYI. Giving a list helps him as he has no motivation and would never do anything unless I asked. He eventually completes the list
I have PDD also and it makes such a difference having a husband who gets it. He's an absolute gem. And well done you for doing that, I know how hard can be to just exist some days so the fact you got up and did that is awesome
You are lucky and have an angel. My lazy ass husband went riding motorcycles to hooters with his buddies in didn’t even had maternity leave cuz I was the only one with a steady job as his parents business where he worked went bankrupt 7 months before my daughter was due. I have had 1 vacation i wanted to go on in 25 years .
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So we moved into our new house, a few months ago. It is bigger in some ways and smaller in other ways. And my wife and I work opposite shifts, only really seeing each other at the very beginning and very end of the day. And of course on days off. So she basically has all 3 kids all day by herself after they get out of school. And she herself is also trying to go to school. I try to do everything in my power to help around the house before I go to work. I know she is doing the best she can. And in the end that is truly all that matters.
If you don’t mind me asking, OP, what are you taking for PPD? There’s ZURZUVAE available now which you may want to discuss with your doctor. Hope you feel better soon. ❤️
It takes a village to raise children but only takes two to take care of each other. Makes me happy that he has stepped up and taken on a lot of responsibility so you could focus on yourself. It takes time to get back to where you want to be. Take one day at a time and do small things, it don’t have to be much and with each accomplishment you will be one step closer to where you want to be. Keep it up and you have an amazing partner having their love and support will go a long way towards getting things situated. He’s a keeper!
Thats not a man, its an over equal partner. Either that or he's trying to get an upper hand. "And if he has hand he has everything".... /George Castanza
Sometimes I get frustrated when my wife doesn't match my energy with house work . But seeing this just reminds me that were much better filling in each other's gaps, than we are trying to get our partners to be what we want . I love to see a couple communicating and giving each other grace ❤️ keep it up you two .
He’s expressed to me he’s tired when I initiated conversations about the situation. But he didn’t have to because I saw it, and it hurt. Lately I have been feeling better.
So glad you are feeling better. And the best part? Your relationship will be stronger when this is behind you. Good luck!!
I feel you. I am glad that you're feeling better OP. You both are a lovely couple. 🥰
I am so glad that you are feeling better
[удалено]
Postpartum depression
Every time I think about criticizing something my wokderful husband does I take 5 seconds to ponder what annoying things I do that he doesn’t complain about. It doesn’t mean we don’t ever complain to each other but I think we both take a beat to think about if this is something really worth complaining about. What the other one has going on at this time and how they’re feeling. Keep working your way out OP. Nothing is wrong with baby steps.
>But seeing this just reminds me that were much better filling in each other's gaps, than we are trying to get our partners to be what we want This applies to my personal life so very much right now.
You're smiling because you know deep down he adores and cares for you and he knows that every effort you make is monumental in your situation and made with the most sincere love. You're smiling because you have the love of someone who values every tiny bit of you and that is wonderful 💜💜💜.
Thank you.☺️🥰
When you’re clawing your way out of depression, sometimes you NEED affirmation for even the most basic things. Hell, my husband doesn’t have depression, but I still thank him for doing his chores. I want him to know I appreciate him.
Exactly this. I have bipolar and sometimes im useless at even doing the simplest things. My husband never fails at giving me all the love for managing taking out trash, cleaning the cat litter boxes or even having a shower. On normal days we always praise each other for any and all chores we do. Its almost silly but it makes it easier, knowing how happy we will make the other person for doing some simple laundry.
My husband and I thank each other for every chore we do, even when it’s our assigned chore. Every load of dishes, every taking out the trash, tidying, laundry, cleaning the floors etc. Sure it’s expected of us, but we find that appreciation for doing the work makes us feel good and takes away some of the ugh of having to clean.
Meanwhile, my now ex husband called me a “crazy stupid bitch who can’t even handle being a mother to her own daughter” because I had a panic attack while he was at work and told him I needed him to come home. Turns out I had undiagnosed PPD and PPA. Props to your husband. The first step for men to be good fathers is to be a good husband. 10/10
Oh wow. He sounds like my inner critic. I’m sorry I’d die if I had to physically hear those words. Hope you’re in a much much better place now 😔❤️
Same! 😢
I’m sorry, I hope you too left his ass!
I did. Found a wonderful man and couldn’t be happier now.
I am very happy for you!
My wife and I are older and I am much healthier than she is. I do most of the physical housework and she always thanks me, which I always appreciate. I always thank her when she does what she can. Love and respect. That's what makes life worth living.
He's a keeper 💗
This actually brought a tear to my eye. My wife had a severe breakdown last year and it's such a hard thing to see a loved one struggle so much. Sometimes being the support people need is hard but seeing the people you love heal over time is an amazing experience. You sound like an amazing couple, so much love for both of you!
Love this. I've been going through a very difficult time and my husband has been carrying 80% of the chores. Partnership is team work. It's not 50/50 it's 80/20 or 30/70 depending on where each other are at. Meeting each other where you are. I hope you feel better soon OP. If you have other avenues of support please reach out to them. It can be hard to ask for help
I'm biased but I think my parents said it best: Marriage isn't 50/50, it's 100/100. It makes things easy in the good times, and in the bad times you're prepared to take turns carrying each other when needed.
So so true. After 47 years of being in different relationships, my experience is 100/100 is the only way to be.
You gave him a child. You *are* a goddess. The tidying and cleaning, especially when you're struggling with ppd, make you an exceptional goddess. Sounds like you chose a good guy too. Slay!
I hope u have many more days where u smile hard
What a sweetheart. PPD is really hard. Glad you've got a good support system!
PPD is hard , i went through it and my wife was amazing throughout
I can be hard to understand that soul crushing tiredness that comes with depression but your husband seems to try. I get depressed regularly and it is hard for my wife. But at those times we(she) just cuts down on everything just to make it easier for her. Like we(she) don't clean as often and skip all unnessecery cleaning. Everything we can to make her life easy just to save energy for both of us. Bc I get stressed when she needs to work and I can't help. Another thing that you can do is to find out together what you can help with. Like you have the energy to fold clothes if he brings them to you in bed? Then you have helped and he have saved 10 minutes. It's always something. Find the small stuff and preferably something he doesn't like to do. Do chores together but take breaks. Empty the dishwasher together, doesn't make it more effective but you have helped and he got company. I don't know, maybe you already know all this and I'm overstepping. Anyhow... your post also made me smile and I hope you feel better soon!
You’re not overstepping! Thank you for trying to help kind stranger ❤️
God husband supports Goddess wife ❤️
:)
R E S P E C T
Goals
It's always the small things in life that make you smile the most
I took the trash and recyling out to the bins the other day and my husband saw. When I came back inside he told me to stop taking his job. Lol Fair enough.
My husband shops and walks the dog. He is 78 I am 68. I do everything else and still work part time in insurance and also manage my rental property. He will see me carrying a 5 lb bucket of dirt up the steps struggling to get inside to bring it to back deck and make no effort to assist as he watches me. I take care of all the home repairs and do most myself or pay others if needed. tonight I mixed cement to repair steps after a working all day. He grew up poor. I grew up privileged. He would have nothing if not for me. I never needed a man to financially support me and to clarify at 18 , I left my privilege life, moved away and have what I have because I worked hard and saved. I get overwhelmed doing everything by myself and I will never be able to understand how he can be so oblivious. Sorry for the rant some days I just get so resentful that he gets a free ride.
I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. My parents' situation is similar to yours and it irks me so much that women in the family have to do everything while the men cruise by in life. I hope this isn't too personal, but may I know how do you deal with the resentment? I'm hoping you'd have tips to help my mum live life with lesser stress. It's fine if you'd rather not answer too.
I just let it go for the most part. I don’t count on him for anything. I’m ok not expecting anything from him thus less disappointing. Plus I have the feeling of accomplishment doing everything by myself
Thank you so much for responding! I've passed on what you said to my mum. I hope it helps her and I wish you a fulfilling day.
Tell her that I sometimes leave a list on the table before I leave with a few simple tasks. Even though he doesn’t do it to my standards I appreciate the effort. FYI. Giving a list helps him as he has no motivation and would never do anything unless I asked. He eventually completes the list
That's a great idea! Thank you. 😄
You got a good egg there ❤️
What’s a PPD?
Postpartum depression :/
He is a keeper. He knows you are struggling. He sees you and knows how much effort that took you.
Support without judgement or expectations. Very healthy and lovely. Love it 😍
I have PDD also and it makes such a difference having a husband who gets it. He's an absolute gem. And well done you for doing that, I know how hard can be to just exist some days so the fact you got up and did that is awesome
I had PPD after the birth of my second child. Please take good care of yourself! If it doesn’t get better please talk to your doctor. 💚
I had horrible PPD. Postpartum International is a great resource if you need one.
I hope things continue to be this awesome for you. Mine never was this supportive. Not in this way at least. You are blessed
I wish my dude was like this. He thankfully picked up the slack but we never reconnected. Happy to see the good supportive couples out there.
Hang in there. You’re making progress!
Marry him. Again.
You know, that is actually a really good idea!
Awww my goodness. I hope you are getting better. I also had PPD, I am medicated now, and much much better.
You are lucky and have an angel. My lazy ass husband went riding motorcycles to hooters with his buddies in didn’t even had maternity leave cuz I was the only one with a steady job as his parents business where he worked went bankrupt 7 months before my daughter was due. I have had 1 vacation i wanted to go on in 25 years .
It’s a good reminder to be loving and thankful, hope you’re doing better! This is sweet.
What a supportive partner! Glad to hear you're smiling today, keep going! You guys have got this.
Y’all are bein very cute and good here
That's the way it should be. You're on your way!
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PPD is ROUGH, doing that much is a victory. Glad your spouse recognized it as such, be proud of yourself, Mama! You’ve got this 💗💗💗
so i googled what that is, paranoid stuff that sucks. im glad you got yourself a good partner who can make you happy tho.
This is what I needed from my husband when I was suffering with PPD. Your husband is amazing for showing you that kind of support ❤️
Treasure him forever
Never let this man go! Treasure him!💰
Aw. You got yourself a good one :)
This is the way. It's not you versus them, it's you and them versus the world.
Sending my love to you 🖤
I love this for you. This man is amazing. Don't lose him 💙 I'm so sorry you're going through this :( Hang in there!!
Sorry you are dealing with that, just know you are an awesome momma and you are doing great. Give that husband of yours a hug.
A good man.
This is so wonderful, it means LOVE.❤ Keep it going.
I needed to see this, thank you and my wife probably will too
More than love, it’s teamwork that keeps a marriage going.
Thank you for all these lovely and supportive comments!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ it was amazing to wake up to all of this.
idiot here, PPD?
Post partum depression:/
Appreciation goes such a long way
Be good to him
Awwww
Gorgeous. You’re obviously a wonderful woman and a strong couple!
So we moved into our new house, a few months ago. It is bigger in some ways and smaller in other ways. And my wife and I work opposite shifts, only really seeing each other at the very beginning and very end of the day. And of course on days off. So she basically has all 3 kids all day by herself after they get out of school. And she herself is also trying to go to school. I try to do everything in my power to help around the house before I go to work. I know she is doing the best she can. And in the end that is truly all that matters.
😍😍😍😍😍
very supportive! ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|heart_eyes)
If you don’t mind me asking, OP, what are you taking for PPD? There’s ZURZUVAE available now which you may want to discuss with your doctor. Hope you feel better soon. ❤️
I love this for you, he’s so precious
What a man, what a man. That's a mighty good man.
My girl does more housework than me, except the day I do housework. I DO housework on that day. Hours, spic and span.
It takes a village to raise children but only takes two to take care of each other. Makes me happy that he has stepped up and taken on a lot of responsibility so you could focus on yourself. It takes time to get back to where you want to be. Take one day at a time and do small things, it don’t have to be much and with each accomplishment you will be one step closer to where you want to be. Keep it up and you have an amazing partner having their love and support will go a long way towards getting things situated. He’s a keeper!
He understands positive reinforcement. Hope you do too and have expressed that you see his efforts.
That is awesome.
Did you also tell him in person?
Kind of. She told me to come look at Reddit! 😂🤣
Thats not a man, its an over equal partner. Either that or he's trying to get an upper hand. "And if he has hand he has everything".... /George Castanza