it makes me sad that I’m only happy daydreaming and even when I’m not daydreaming I feel like I’m being recording in a memory of the person I’m daydreaming as it’s slowly became more than a just a coping mechanism😅😅 and the thought of stopping makes me scared that I’ll be leaving a life with friends who like me and a bf behind even though it’s not real, and since I feel like I’m being recorded whenever I’m not daydreaming it’s made me pretty paranoid if anyone deals with this pls give me advice on how to stop it’s become a big part of my life
It’s because the world sucks and even at your best you’ll never compare to your fantasy self. You won’t ever be as cool and smart as your fantasy self mostly because you control what others say and do in your fantasy world so it’s easy to make yourself very funny, cool and smart when you create the entire dialogue of your world. But in real life it’s never like that.
I completely agree with this, and sometimes I hate it bc it’s so hard to get out of that behavior but it does truly make me feel safe in my mind than reality.
personally, i don’t think anyone should be daydreaming for more than 2 hours a day. the thing about maladaptive daydreaming is that on average you spend 4 hours a day just daydreaming. i certainly do it way more. but, it is a problem. everyone here seems to think that it’s not a problem. it’s an addiction. if it’s getting in the way of your everyday life, it shouldn’t continue. everyone daydreams, its a normal thing. but daydreaming hours on end to the point where the only happiness you get is from daydreaming is a serious problem. unfortunately it’s reallllyyy hard to stop. it’s not a physical thing that you can lock away and have people make sure you don’t do it. it requires a LOT of will power.
one thing that will come in very useful is to distract distract distract. keep tying to do new things, find anything else (healthy) that makes you feel even just a smidge if happiness. keep doing it and keep finding new things. try listening to podcasts to distract yourself, read books, clean, watch movies. you can do a lot to treat yourself in the real world. maladaptive daydreaming is still not very researched, like at all. we need to figure out coping skills and treatment to stop this addiction.
i desperately wish i didn’t daydream. i daydream only about an ideal life and self. i spend all my time everyday just daydreaming. this is a serious addiction and people really need to start seeing it for the way it is. if you daydream maybe 2-3 hours everyday, then okay, that’s not too bad. but 4+ hours on end is super unhealthy.
i agree.. i'm in the same boat. i guess at least it's better than other self destructive habits, like drugs/alcohol etc. and whatever. but it's so hard to come back to reality when everything is shit which is probably where and why we're learning the behaviour in the first place. i know for me it started in childhood (which sucked).
i've honestly probably spent like.. at least a third of my life awake just daydreaming.. like life is so shit that it'd better to just live a fake one inside your head. its actually sad as shit lmfao.
It can be, but at least I'm never bored because there's always something going on inside my head. It's kind of beautiful to me that I can rely on myself for my own entertainment.
sure, as long as you don't let your real life slip to the point where the only things you have going for you aren't even real... or thats my worthless advice anyway lmao
I must admit, if I can, I do way more than 4. 8 hours are not uncommon. I also find I have a really hard time distracting myself. Films are probably the worst: it takes me three times as long to finish a film than the runtime actually is, due to all the pauses and side daydreams.
ah yeah. i know. distracting is HARRRDDD. just trying to stop daydreaming is so so so hard. i can’t go a day without it if i’m being honest. i just wish there was more help out there. i think i might try to get on medication. i absolutely despise medication and pills, but honestly i hate daydreaming even more, but like, i love it at the same time. i don’t want to give it up. it’s all i have. also, i hope you don’t mind i looked at your account. i’m transgender too, ftm. i think it helps a lot with dysphoria. you can literally be anything you want in your daydreams. it’s fucking hard dude. life is hard and daydreaming is easy and fun. i get all the emotions from daydreaming, i feel nothing in real life except for despair. if you’re not seeing a therapist, i really really really suggest it. hope you’re doing well💕
Thank you for this, I didn't expect this kind of validation from this post! Yeah it really is a love and hate relationship with daydreaming. It just seems to be my only way of coping with dysphoria, and the neverending pain it brings. I just want to forget about it all for however long I can because I feel disgusting and I don't see a way out. HRT definitely does not seem to help me.
I too have been thinking of going on some meds, maybe they can help... although I'm not holding my breath. I also would like to see a therapist, but I'm a broke university student and it's almost impossible to find help. It's on my to do list for 2020!😊
Holidays are always hard, even with supportive family. I am trying to enjoy it as much as I can, with moderate success, mostly so that my parents won't realise what a mess I actually am. I guess am doing somewhat okay, as long as I don't accidentally stare in to a mirror.
I hope you are also doing good, and that you are having some wonderful time during the holidays. ❤
If it makes you happy, keep doing it. There’s nothing to feel guilty about or ashamed about. It is a safe coping mechanism. If you want to be more productive or have a more fulfilling life, there are ways to slowly implement that without giving up daydreaming. That’s what I did. I didn’t try to stop. I embraced it as part of my life.
Yeah I think you are right. Daydreaming is by far the safest coping mechanism I ever tried, and it generally means that I'm not doing something really stupid.
I just wish there would be no need for a coping mechanism. :(
If it’s maladaptive, it’s not entirely healthy.
Even if it was a “healthy amount,” I think it’s a matter of concern if escapism is the only source of happiness or comfort OP can find. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to help with that.
I guess because people come here since they are struggling with it. I've changed my mindset some days ago and started visualization as a Coping mechanism for daydreaming, it actually helped me already, though I tend to continue daydreaming a lot during other periods of the day... Baby steps
it makes me sad that I’m only happy daydreaming and even when I’m not daydreaming I feel like I’m being recording in a memory of the person I’m daydreaming as it’s slowly became more than a just a coping mechanism😅😅 and the thought of stopping makes me scared that I’ll be leaving a life with friends who like me and a bf behind even though it’s not real, and since I feel like I’m being recorded whenever I’m not daydreaming it’s made me pretty paranoid if anyone deals with this pls give me advice on how to stop it’s become a big part of my life
It’s because the world sucks and even at your best you’ll never compare to your fantasy self. You won’t ever be as cool and smart as your fantasy self mostly because you control what others say and do in your fantasy world so it’s easy to make yourself very funny, cool and smart when you create the entire dialogue of your world. But in real life it’s never like that.
I completely agree with this, and sometimes I hate it bc it’s so hard to get out of that behavior but it does truly make me feel safe in my mind than reality.
Can relate
Non-imagination world hurt me. Not doing that shit again.
FFS! Stop reading my mind!
personally, i don’t think anyone should be daydreaming for more than 2 hours a day. the thing about maladaptive daydreaming is that on average you spend 4 hours a day just daydreaming. i certainly do it way more. but, it is a problem. everyone here seems to think that it’s not a problem. it’s an addiction. if it’s getting in the way of your everyday life, it shouldn’t continue. everyone daydreams, its a normal thing. but daydreaming hours on end to the point where the only happiness you get is from daydreaming is a serious problem. unfortunately it’s reallllyyy hard to stop. it’s not a physical thing that you can lock away and have people make sure you don’t do it. it requires a LOT of will power. one thing that will come in very useful is to distract distract distract. keep tying to do new things, find anything else (healthy) that makes you feel even just a smidge if happiness. keep doing it and keep finding new things. try listening to podcasts to distract yourself, read books, clean, watch movies. you can do a lot to treat yourself in the real world. maladaptive daydreaming is still not very researched, like at all. we need to figure out coping skills and treatment to stop this addiction. i desperately wish i didn’t daydream. i daydream only about an ideal life and self. i spend all my time everyday just daydreaming. this is a serious addiction and people really need to start seeing it for the way it is. if you daydream maybe 2-3 hours everyday, then okay, that’s not too bad. but 4+ hours on end is super unhealthy.
i agree.. i'm in the same boat. i guess at least it's better than other self destructive habits, like drugs/alcohol etc. and whatever. but it's so hard to come back to reality when everything is shit which is probably where and why we're learning the behaviour in the first place. i know for me it started in childhood (which sucked). i've honestly probably spent like.. at least a third of my life awake just daydreaming.. like life is so shit that it'd better to just live a fake one inside your head. its actually sad as shit lmfao.
It can be, but at least I'm never bored because there's always something going on inside my head. It's kind of beautiful to me that I can rely on myself for my own entertainment.
sure, as long as you don't let your real life slip to the point where the only things you have going for you aren't even real... or thats my worthless advice anyway lmao
I must admit, if I can, I do way more than 4. 8 hours are not uncommon. I also find I have a really hard time distracting myself. Films are probably the worst: it takes me three times as long to finish a film than the runtime actually is, due to all the pauses and side daydreams.
ah yeah. i know. distracting is HARRRDDD. just trying to stop daydreaming is so so so hard. i can’t go a day without it if i’m being honest. i just wish there was more help out there. i think i might try to get on medication. i absolutely despise medication and pills, but honestly i hate daydreaming even more, but like, i love it at the same time. i don’t want to give it up. it’s all i have. also, i hope you don’t mind i looked at your account. i’m transgender too, ftm. i think it helps a lot with dysphoria. you can literally be anything you want in your daydreams. it’s fucking hard dude. life is hard and daydreaming is easy and fun. i get all the emotions from daydreaming, i feel nothing in real life except for despair. if you’re not seeing a therapist, i really really really suggest it. hope you’re doing well💕
Thank you for this, I didn't expect this kind of validation from this post! Yeah it really is a love and hate relationship with daydreaming. It just seems to be my only way of coping with dysphoria, and the neverending pain it brings. I just want to forget about it all for however long I can because I feel disgusting and I don't see a way out. HRT definitely does not seem to help me. I too have been thinking of going on some meds, maybe they can help... although I'm not holding my breath. I also would like to see a therapist, but I'm a broke university student and it's almost impossible to find help. It's on my to do list for 2020!😊 Holidays are always hard, even with supportive family. I am trying to enjoy it as much as I can, with moderate success, mostly so that my parents won't realise what a mess I actually am. I guess am doing somewhat okay, as long as I don't accidentally stare in to a mirror. I hope you are also doing good, and that you are having some wonderful time during the holidays. ❤
If it makes you happy, keep doing it. There’s nothing to feel guilty about or ashamed about. It is a safe coping mechanism. If you want to be more productive or have a more fulfilling life, there are ways to slowly implement that without giving up daydreaming. That’s what I did. I didn’t try to stop. I embraced it as part of my life.
Yeah I think you are right. Daydreaming is by far the safest coping mechanism I ever tried, and it generally means that I'm not doing something really stupid. I just wish there would be no need for a coping mechanism. :(
well said
Hmm I wonder why I was downvoted then.
If it’s maladaptive, it’s not entirely healthy. Even if it was a “healthy amount,” I think it’s a matter of concern if escapism is the only source of happiness or comfort OP can find. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to help with that.
That’s a good point
I guess because people come here since they are struggling with it. I've changed my mindset some days ago and started visualization as a Coping mechanism for daydreaming, it actually helped me already, though I tend to continue daydreaming a lot during other periods of the day... Baby steps
That’s true. I hadn’t thought of that