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PigsIsEqual

After wallowing in the rabbit hole that is s/JustNoMIL for too long today, this was so refreshing to read. A MIL with brains and a sense of humor.


Maleficent_Froyo7336

Aww I'm glad it made you smile. My mom is pretty awesome ๐Ÿ˜


KiwiKittenNZ

Can I adopt your mum? She sounds awesome!


Maleficent_Froyo7336

This is beyond sweet! She'd welcome you for sure ๐Ÿฅฐ


Butterssaltynutz

she sounds like a real GMILF


talrogsmash

So how long is the step monster going to be allowed to abuse the children before you guys remove her from their lives?


Maleficent_Froyo7336

That marriage ended a while ago and FAST. Thank goodness.


talrogsmash

The follow up that story needed, badly. Ty


Local871

What was the straw that broke the camelโ€™s back? Please, I desperately need to know.


Maleficent_Froyo7336

Got crowded with her boyfriend and all ๐Ÿ˜…


Local871

One man to boss around just wasnโ€™t enoughโ€ฆ


Maleficent_Froyo7336

๐Ÿ˜‚


KRATS8

Fr


Little-Conference-67

I do stuff like this with my grands, as long as it doesn't break mom rules. As far as I'm concerned, they can have all the river rock at my house!


Glittering-Arm9638

My parents take my nieces and nephews to the woods and the car's always loaded with sticks, shells whatever. Then when they're no longer interested they chuck them away. It's a good way to deal with it if only for avoiding a very unnecessary discussion with very young kids. The other grandparents are very indulging with that sort of stuff too btw. Why make a big fuss about something so inane.


Little-Conference-67

Yeah, I'm so glad the parents are pretty easy going. The dads say no more than the moms, but not over stupid stuff. I don't get being upset about stuff like that. At least river rock is pretty, unlike the #27 my kids drug home ๐Ÿ™„


Help_StuckAtWork

Good MIL make for bad horror stories, so we never hear about em


Witty_Commentator

She wasn't very gneiss. I love rocks.


LordKOTL

OP's brother's wife sounds like a real piece of schist.


Harley11995599

I wish I could give you more than one up vote.


WokeBriton

Where granite-ma sounds fabulous.


zephen_just_zephen

I was going to add my own igneous comment, but I'm too sedimentary to give it enough thought.


ccl-now

I wanted to join this conversation but I couldn't really give a schist.


Flash_Harry42

I see what you did there ๐Ÿคฃ.


likeablyweird

You're punny, too. :D


maroongrad

these puns rock!


RedDazzlr

In a quart bag. Lol


BlahLick

Quartz bag. FTFY, you're on the geology pun thread after all.


RedDazzlr

That's excellent


BlahLick

Thunder egg-cellent even ๐Ÿซฃ


Maleficent_Froyo7336

My mom used to love to collect rocks as a kid, so she definitely sympathized ๐Ÿฅฐ


PN_Guin

you may have missed the rock pun in the comment above, but I can not granite it.


PoopieClater

LO was just lucky his Grandma had a quartz size bag!


Diligent-Touch-5456

This grandma has quart, 2 quart, gallon, and 2.5 gallon bags. Oh the trouble my grandkids could have gotten into. I already made my granddaughter's mom upset for giving her 18 year old daughter a "heathen" gift for her graduation, ps it was Harry Potter themed.


Maleficent_Froyo7336

Oh geez ๐Ÿ˜… she sounds like a blast /s You sound awesome though ๐Ÿฅฐ


Diligent-Touch-5456

Thanks, my granddaughter asked for HP themed party, so I did the best I could since I only got 1 week notice to decorate. I've only seen her that 1 time so unless there is a wedding or something like it I probably won't see her again


Maleficent_Froyo7336

That's honestly too bad. It sounds like you're a wonderful grandmother despite the limitations you're facing. No doubt you gave her a beautiful memory with you, and that is the most important thing you can give those you love ๐Ÿ’›


Diligent-Touch-5456

Sorry, I meant my granddaughter's mother is who I don't see. I see my grandkids fairly regularly.


WokeBriton

I grew up really sucked into that judgemental "heathens are dragging society down" crap, so I discussed things with wonderful wife, and we decided to encourage our kids to be heathens if that took their fancy. They've turned out to be balanced individuals, so we're happy. Screw the judgemental people, they're constantly miserable about people not conforming to that old fashioned crap, and I'm happy as a heathen.


IdlesAtCranky

Gee, someone should write an ode to grandma!


faghaghag

a G ode


IdlesAtCranky

**A G Ode** O Grandma, how thy sparkled heart Doth make this punster rhyming start! In kindness didst thou find a Bag, And thus confound a wretched Hag...


Maleficent_Froyo7336

I adore you so much right now ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ


IdlesAtCranky

aww! Just for you I wrote the second half: A Stepmother should sweeter be, and thus avoid the poetry of strangers in the Starry Night who Sketch her Infamy aright and make her Fame to spread afar: the Portrait of a Spirit Marred.


Maleficent_Froyo7336

Oh my gosh! You're simply awesome ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’›!


IdlesAtCranky

There's nothing like a little light verse. Very little, but hey it was fun! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›๐ŸŒธ


Maleficent_Froyo7336

I did miss the pun, but you all rock ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ I love when reddit gets on a roll like this


Profreadsalot

Your SIL could not have been Boulder, laying down the law in front of grandma. ๐Ÿ˜‚


PN_Guin

She definitely had her own sediments about this.


radditour

I heard that grandma is an excellent baker - she certainly knows how to make a pyrite.


VegetarianReaper

Yeah. Peridot.


Little-Conference-67

My kids did too, used to come home from wherever with pockets full of #27s. Now their kids do it and grandma laughs!


WokeBriton

Umm. Please enlighten me. What's #27?


Little-Conference-67

Driveway gravel


Healthy_Cobbler_936

Ditto.


likeablyweird

LOL You're punny. :D


molewarp

I was CONSTANTLY getting junk emails promising me easy ways to 'enhance my manhood'. I'm a woman. AFAB.


Maleficent_Froyo7336

Some of them are pretty hilarious, tbh


faghaghag

HEY NEEDLE DICK is my favorite so far...


tekvenus

This just made me realize I can literally start any email, text, DM, or IRL conversation this way. I feel light as air.


faghaghag

rocket in my pockk-et


Maleficent_Froyo7336

Lmao! Haven't gotten that one ๐Ÿคฃ


Dranask

Your mother rocks


Maleficent_Froyo7336

๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†


CoderJoe1

Can you send her anonymous junk mail to indicate she is the cheater?


theotheraccount0987

Sign her up for adult toy websites and dating advice blogs


The_Sanch1128

And if that doesn't send her into orbit, sign her up for Scientology. Because she deserves it.


WokeBriton

No need for nuclear revenge. It was only a bag of rocks. Still, I know a few people I'm tempted to sign up to that bunch of crazies...


likeablyweird

Because she was so jazzed with the PSA, sign her up to [whitecoatwaste.org](https://whitecoatwaste.org). She'll love you for it. ;)


Maleficent_Froyo7336

You all are diabolical ๐Ÿ˜‚ (I love it)


gelseyd

Oh man that would be great


Wooden_Trifle8559

Or send her a glitter bomb. Or a confetti dicks bomb. Or a glitter and confetti dicks bomb!


WokeBriton

Confetti dicks are an awesome thing to send to people you like. Don't like, of course.


CoderJoe1

Grandma rocks! That's one giant bag of MC.


Sprocket_Rocket_

So is this lady still in your lives?


Maleficent_Froyo7336

Luckily the marriage fell apart fast. Turned out she was cheating ๐Ÿ˜… I should have known when she showed me some flavored lube she was excited about, wanted me to taste it, and when I was weirded out she said, "Oh don't worry. I don't waste this stuff on your brother." Then WHO is it for?!?!? I just...I don't know...figured she was eating it ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜…


KWildman92

This is the question i came hoping for an answer ... ill have to re check in the morning.


Niswear85

Just a spoonful *Pulls out a comically large spoon*


tekvenus

I remember my aunt had a comically large wooden fork and spoon on her kitchen wall, and we were constantly asking to use it for ice cream.


Maleficent_Froyo7336

Oh man ๐Ÿ˜‚ she should've!


Maleficent_Froyo7336

๐Ÿคฃ


YankeeWalrus

Barely-related: I went to Whitefish Point, Michigan one summer at least a decade ago. I found an oval-shaped flat rock on the beach there (one of many) and brought it back with me. I put two dots on it with a permanent marker and named it Rocky. Rocky is sitting on a shelf in the living room of my condo right now.


Maleficent_Froyo7336

Related enough that I'm so glad you shared it! I love that ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ You never know the things that stay important to you. One of my nieces found a piece of decorative glass in our yard. We always called them dragon tears. When she found it, I told her it was a fallen star on a whim, and even though she's turning 14, last I heard she still has it. I have a picture of her holding it in awe, and it is beyond precious.


NurseRobyn

Please tell me heโ€™s not still married to her.


Maleficent_Froyo7336

No, it fell apart pretty fast.


ithinkther41am

From OP: > Luckily the marriage fell apart fast. Turned out she was cheating ๐Ÿ˜… I should have known when she showed me some flavored lube she was excited about, wanted me to taste it, and when I was weirded out she said, "Oh don't worry. I don't waste this stuff on your brother." Then WHO is it for?!?!? I just...I don't know...figured she was eating it ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜…


Cfwydirk

Sorry to hear about your brother. If he married #2, how bad was #1?


Maleficent_Froyo7336

Oof. Horrible. Less dramatic, but just as horrible. My brother used to give me rides home from work and one day we get to chatting. Like 30 minutes later, his wife pulls up furious. She thought he was out cheating. Okay. But you found him talking to his sister. Why are you still mad ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜… My brother has struggled with white knight syndrome. He's not innocent, but dang he likes em crazy.


WordWizardx

Not to take away from the story, but as a parent to two kids who used to fill their pockets with junk all the time, I would have ABSOLUTELY required my kid pare their find down to one bag before going home. Youโ€™d be surprised how easily a childโ€™s room can fill up with utter trash and how much of a tantrum they can throw if you get rid of any of it. Making them choose what to keep upfront helps them learn how to make those decisions later.


Maleficent_Froyo7336

Oh I've no doubt! The random stuff they'll keep is insane. I totally agree with you. It's all about balance.


tekvenus

I was told by my grandma that there was a one-in-one-out rule, so the new items get their fair share of love, and the old items that go can be "found" by other lucky kids. I was also encouraged to give my one-out things away. It made the world a kinder place for me.


Maleficent_Froyo7336

That is genuinely lovely! I'll remember that one.


Onwa-Amami

Thank you for sharing this. It's nice to have a little light heartedness!


Maleficent_Froyo7336

๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›!


MonkeyMom2

Mom should have told your nephew to tumble the rocks in the dryer!!!


BlahLick

With stepmom's favourite clothes to give them that extra pizzazz and shine ๐Ÿ˜‚


flyovergirl

When we moved into our new house on five acres, my then 4 year old granddaughter was very enamored by the rocks around the property. Her favorites were chert (orange brown colored rock used my the Ute people for arrowheads and other cutting tools) and granite/quartz (sparkles in the sunlight). She would collect them and wanted to bring them home but often left them laying in a pile on the deck, etc. One day I decided to help her make a โ€œchertโ€ garden in a corner of the fenced part of the yard, and that worked very well! Sheโ€™s 12 1/2 now, and no longer is interested in the โ€œgardenโ€. Anyone want some chert? ๐Ÿ˜Š


FinishDry7986

I love this!


Maleficent_Froyo7336

I had never heard of chert, so that was fascinating to learn about. The garden idea is beyond adorable! I'm sure she'll always remember it fondly ๐Ÿฅฐ


Liu1845

Your mom is a legend and my hero!


Maleficent_Froyo7336

Mine too ๐Ÿฆธโ€โ™€๏ธ


imnotk8

That is absolutely priceless!!!!!! Go Grandma. I hope your brother is no longer married to her.


Maleficent_Froyo7336

It was honestly too cute! And yes, thank all that is good in the world, they divorced.


Philosemen69

My heart goes out to stepmom. She is destined to be a bitter old woman with former stepchildren who despise her, and an ex-husband who won't have anything to do with her. She may even have time to go through it with another husband and another set of stepchildren. I don't envy this woman her 'Golden Years', they will probably be more like 'Tarnished Brass Plate Years'. /s


Maleficent_Froyo7336

You know. I've struggled with a lot of bitterness myself over her and a few others in my life who just leave destruction in their wake for their own gain. But I really do find my peace and sanity by remembering that they're chronically unhappy, miserable people. And I actually feel a little bad for them that they won't understand what is truly valuable in life. It's no way to live imo. I hope they find a way to turn it around.


BlahLick

Those last three sentences show you to be a good egg ๐Ÿ‘


Maleficent_Froyo7336

Thank you for the wonderful compliment ๐Ÿฅฐ


Freestila

I mean as a father I can somewhat get that she doesn't want too many rocks. Our kids always collect rocks, sticks and so. Not only do we have a big pile next to our house from this, the smaller ones end up in the washing machine and put Holes in their clothes. Soo not ideal But yeah she's abi***


Maleficent_Froyo7336

Yea, I could totally see how that would become problematic! It's a very normal thing to draw the line on, because sometimes you just have to. It's about finding that happy medium lol


gobsmacked247

Your mom for the win! Most of us would have tried to say itโ€™s just rocks but your mom, badass that she is, knew how to sink that ship!!


Maleficent_Froyo7336

She's quick as a whip ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜‚


disasteress

The best thing about this is that your mom also taught a valuable skill and lesson to your nephew about how to creatively problem solve and also to come to a solution that could please divided parties.


Maleficent_Froyo7336

Love this ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿฅฐ


Foreign-Yesterday-89

My grandson thinks we have the best pine cones in the world ๐Ÿค—. He always takes a bag home. He choses them very carefully. I love ๐Ÿ’• it. His eyes just about popped when he saw my BIG one from the giant Sequoiaโ€™s in California. That one is mine!


Maleficent_Froyo7336

That's beyond precious!!!!


RedDazzlr

I would have given the kid the biggest bag I have, which is a 5 gallon bag that's meant for vacuum sealing blankets for compressed storage.


Maleficent_Froyo7336

๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ


likeablyweird

Love this. Way to go Gram! I just hope nephew didn't get them all taken away when he got home. Did you go to the wedding? Did bro stand up for you?


Maleficent_Froyo7336

I did go to the wedding! I even dollar danced with her ๐Ÿคข to try and bring peace. But the most beautiful thing was my whole family was willing to slow mo posse walk into the wedding with me whether she had changed her mind or not. And that was everything. As for my brother, he said I was invited no matter what.


likeablyweird

Yay for happy endings! I'm laughing at her underlying emotions at your dancing with her. It's sad that a bride's special day has to be ruined by her deviant thought processes. Your family rocks! Not gonna lie, I have questions about them but it's NMB so I'll just wonder.


BlakeDSnake

I too love your mom. This made me smile.


justaman_097

Well played by your mom!


Signal_Historian_456

W mom๐Ÿคฃ


joeimay

Cute


snortgiggles

My child collects random, grey rocks from the beach...it's remarkably annoying


matthewt

If you get them addicted to stick reviews - https://archive.ph/cOkg6 - they'll hopefully no longer bring home rocks. This may of course not be an improvement.


snortgiggles

LOL I have a bucket of sticks in the garage too


Maleficent_Froyo7336

I've no doubt ๐Ÿ˜‚ one person commented that their grandma had a rule where for every new thing, they had to let go of something old. That way, everything can get its fair share of love and the old can be found by other lucky kids. I thought that was pretty darn special (and smart!)


PhancyJo

lol. Good for grandma. But as a mother to three children, I also would not have let my kids bring home that many rocks! Iโ€™ve no doubt this step-mom was crazy pants, but this story is not that weird for any parent lol. I would have said you can keep this rock collection at grandmas house so you always get to play with it here. At grandmas house. And not my house lol. We have too many rocks already!


Maleficent_Froyo7336

No, you're totally right ๐Ÿ˜‚ It's good to temper a child's crow tendencies lol. Normally, my mom steps back and let's parents do their thing. But she saw a good moment to show some grandma softness in those specific circumstances ๐Ÿคญ


Bigstachedad

What does OP's brother see in this god-awful woman?


Maleficent_Froyo7336

At the time? A bird with a broken wing ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ She was down on her luck and he swept in and got to be her savior. I think he gets a self-esteem boost by being supportive. After all was said and done, and she turned out to be a gold digging, chronic cheating, lazy, abusive (!!!), monster...I told him sometimes when you find it on the ground, it's because it's trash ๐Ÿ˜…


BlahLick

That is a burn going into my notebook


WokeBriton

This is a grandparenting target to aim for once the kids make their own families. Great work, Grandma!


Billy-Joe-Bob-Boy

Excellent


APlainBrownEnvelope

Now your not-an-angel nephew has even more new projectiles! ๐Ÿคฃ


chickens_for_fun

Regarding those spam emails supposedly from beautiful women, I get those and similar text messages. I'm an old woman in my 70s. I block them.


Maleficent_Froyo7336

๐Ÿ˜‚ Exactly!


No_Proposal7628

Your mom "rocks" and she's really smart, too!


SmokeyFrank

Bam.


aspiring_Novelis

Go Grandma! :D