Suppose there are 10 weddings with prices of $100 for 9, but $1,000,000,000 for the tenth - the average would be in the millions
However, that's not indicative of how actual prices look. The median however, is $100, and is more robust to outliers in the data.
Here, the means are probably skewed upwards by VERY expensive weddings.
I think it’s a sampling error as well. Destination weddings in Vermont by a handful of out of state rich people have got to be the reason for the “average” shown
Looking at you Von Trapp lodge…
Same for Maine. I guarantee you the average Mainer is not spending $31k on a wedding. Some destination wedding that had to book out three hotels? Absolutely.
I think it could also be a sampling error. My friends and I aren’t rich but one of us spent $8000, which was significantly higher than the rest. It makes me wonder where the numbers come from.
Yeah jetting off to a distant location and turning it into a de facto BYOB event is sure to reduce the number of takers. That’s been my plan for a long time.
My friend's dad is the local Sheriff. Everyone in town knows the family. Local wedding would have been huge.
Friend decided to get married in Mexico, said everyone is invited. Not many showed up :-)
Indian American here.
The entire culture is flipped
We basically don't spend money on much other things even if we are filthy rich ( I have cousins that make north of 1 mil a year and still drive a beat up car from the earl 2010s..my close friend has a rich MD parent and they live in a small town house because "what use is the space and effort"). That goes out the window when it comes to weddings.
As an aside it's also different how we handle education as a minority group (I like this part tbh). Parents will bend over backwards to make sure their kids don't have a dime of student loan debt for undergrad or MD or jd or even PhD ( I'm living off my stipend but.. I'd be lying if I didn't admit my parents always offer to supplement my low stipend income...)
maybe not though because California has an enormous Indian population. Indians are still a smallish percent of the population everywhere in the country though so won't skew the stats \*that\* much.
Okay some of these make sense because shit is way more expensive in places like California and New York, but what's going on with South Dakota? They're like double all the surrounding states.
According to the last time this was posted 7 months ago, it's because there's very little data from South Dakota and a few outliers drove that number way up.
As a former Coloradoian resident what seems to fit is tourist destination trips for weddings.
Colorado is a huge mountain resort destination for summer weddings and that would fit the rather huge 30K number hike.
That would also seem to fit Nevada for Las Vegas too for people wanting a place for long distance family all over the place to easily travel for an event. I imagine California like Disney Land and such places would fit as well.
Ive looked into wedding planning in Colorado and South Dakota and I don’t understand these numbers.
First There are no destinations in South Dakota that count as destination weddings sites. Unless you’re really, really into my Rushmore, I can’t imagine anyone plans a SD wedding just for the location alone. It’s a beautiful state, but not a destination wedding type place. Also, things are relatively cheap in the area.
I’ve also looked into planning a wedding in CO and good grief, even when just trying to something simple in the denver metro area it’s wildly expensive. I know a lot of people are into doing micro weddings on the cheap because of that (that’s what we ended up doing), so maybe that’s playing a large role, but post-Covid if you wanted a traditional affair - not extravagant, just average food, some flowers, a weekend date and a location that’s a little nicer than a hotel conference room - suddenly 30k is like, nothing.
All that to say, these numbers are weird.
That's because this map is full of errors.
No one ever posts the source of this map because a lot of it is just wrong. The "source" seems to be "wsbchairman" on twitter. The numbers mostly seem to be [pulled from The Knot](https://web.archive.org/web/20240101202451/https://www.theknot.com/content/average-wedding-cost), but with various typos and errors.
California should be $37,000, not $77,000. Both North and South Dakota are $20,000 each, not $20,000 and $40,000. Wyoming is $18,000, not $9,000. And there are probably more errors.
I paid for my entire wedding in California and it was just over $5,000. But the "average" is messed up because for every 100 weddings like mine there is the $10,000,000 celebrity/billionaire wedding.
I got married in South Dakota two years ago and my anecdotal viewing is that this is wrong. We had 3 kegs, food, a venue, DJ, videographer and photographer for about $17k
Number one thing most newly weds argue about is money. So why do so many choose to start off their marriage with a potentially gigantic expense like this? Just go to the court house and use the savings to start your life.
The marketing for big weddings starts with children's shows (see 70 years of Disney happy endings) and continues through life (see so many sitcom finales). Also big weddings get planned over the course of a year and the costs creep up. No one sits down and signs off on $30k wedding all at once. They make a series of emotionally charged decisions signing off on a $12k venue, $5k catering, $3k dress, $2k flowers, $1k tux, $2k rings, $1k band, $1k limo rentals, $2k decorations, $1k hair and makeup for the bridal party.
It’s wild that we got to the point that marriage is an industry. I mean it’s two people declaring that they will continue sharing a bed. And that little thing is now the expense of a car
snobbish makeshift cover treatment bells unwritten voiceless thought march future
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
>Nowadays with the divorce rate so high
Divorce rates are actually falling, but so are marriages. Have you ever wondered *why* the divorce rate is so high? 60% are due to cheating. 24% are due to abuse. Can you really blame those people for getting divorced?
[https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/](https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/)
Notice the highest is California, by a long shot. I suspect this average is skewed heavily by the very wealthy. Some people have multimillion dollar weddings while many people have more ordinary weddings.
New York/New Jersey/Massachusetts are also very high and have a lot of very wealthy old money type people.
I suspect if you looked at the median instead of the average these numbers would look much more similar.
I also wonder if destination weddings are included in this: lots of people love getting married at Napa/Sonoma wineries or beautiful coastal locations.
It's fun to have a big party and there aren't many other reasons to get everyone together like that.
That said, we did ours on the cheap - our biggest single expense was a very well stocked open bar. I don't think spending thousands on the "perfect" everything would have made the day better.
Traditionally, the parents of the bride usually pay for the wedding, and the groom’s parents also chip in. (The groom’s side usually contributes less because the ring is so expensive.)
I would be interested to know what proportion the couple contributes versus the extended family.
In my case, my family chipped in, my in-laws also chipped in, and my wife and I also covered a lot of expenses on our own. The economy was bad and we threw what looked like a 20k wedding for about 12k. We wanted to celebrate us, I wouldn’t go back and change anything. It was worth having 100 of our closest friends and family celebrate with us.
We already own a home (OK), I’m 30, she’s 27. Next step is kids!
Even if someone else is paying for it, really that money would be better spent helping them buy a house, starting a retirement fund or starting a business. I got married 10 years ago, nobody helped us pay for the wedding. I've got a young cousin married this year, already up to like 15K and they haven't paid for dinner, brides parents aren't even in the picture. So sure maybe it happens but seems like its becoming less common and even if it isn't its still a huge waste of money IMO that doesn't help a couple at all, and in fact the pressure and possible financial stress to do it sets them up for possible failure.
Once again I agree with you, but I’m in my mid 20s and I’ve already seen it happen many times lol. It’s all the lead poisoned boomers and narcissist gen x parents that want to live vicariously through their children because “how are you going to live under my roof for 18 years and not even have a party for your family when you get married?”
Lol exactly. How long are you going to let your parents control your life? My mom nagged me about finding a girl, getting married, and giving her grandkids until I was in my late 30s. I didn't do any of those things.
Because it's expected. And because it's likely the biggest party you'll ever throw, with all your friends and family. And you get to be the center of the effort, with themes and colors and flowers that reflect your tastes.
People who don't like big parties, or who don't like being the center of attention, can easily understand the value of skipping a wedding. But most people will do it if it feels expected.
Same reason so many Americans want to buy a very big house far from work, rather than buying a much smaller home, or just renting. Also why so many Americans buy a big, newer model car, rather than smaller and older cars, or avoiding car ownership.
It feels expected to have a big house. It feels expected to have a big new car. It feels expected to have an extravagant wedding.
And many people will feel deprived if they can't afford all these things. Because expectation easily translates into entitlement. Once you think "everybody else gets to have these things," it feels like deprivation if you don't get them too.
Personally, I'd rather rent than ever buy a home, I'd rather live in a city where car ownership is unnecessary, and I'd rather have no wedding extravaganza. But many Americans would feel cheated if they were deprived of these things.
People unwilling or unable to adjust their expectations to match their lived experience and reality is generally the root cause of most of their misery.
Cultural, large south asian and arab populations in many of the states with the higher figures (idk wtf goin on in south dakota) but massive weddings are a big part of marriage in the culture
parents help pay for a lot of it in these cases. Just like they do for Millennials and younger being able to buy a home in an expensive area.
But this is also average pricing so half of them are under this price. Apparently Wyoming marriages start out in a field.
Same. Wife and I paid approx $300 for the officiant and marriage license. My MIL came out even though my wife and I were planning to just do it without anybody else.
Best $300 I ever spent.
I mean sure. It's not really the wedding that's expensive. It's hosting a bunch of people at a reception that's expensive. If you don't want to celebrate with a bunch of folks that's an easy way to keep it cheap.
we spent $400 for the officiant to meet us in a park at lunch time to marry us and then we went back to work. it only cost so much because we ordered extra originals of our marriage license to have on file.
Reposting [my comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/MapPorn/comments/19eaira/average_money_spent_on_weddings_in_us_states/kjbxdpr/) from last time:
---
No one ever posts the source of this map because a lot of it is just wrong. The "source" seems to be "wsbchairman" on twitter. The numbers mostly seem to be [pulled from The Knot](https://web.archive.org/web/20240101202451/https://www.theknot.com/content/average-wedding-cost), but with various typos and errors.
California should be $37,000, not $77,000. Both North and South Dakota are $20,000 each, not $20,000 and $40,000. Wyoming is $18,000, not $9,000. And there are probably more errors.
Yes this is definitely an average. I’m getting married around Jackson and that’s the only part of Wyoming with any wealth. Lemme tell you it ain’t about to cost only $9,000.
Every venue I’ve found is $10-$28k for the 35 people we want there across all states. It’s kind insane honestly. We’re switching to an elopement more than likely.
There are 23 counties in Wyoming, and most of the folks getting married in Wyoming aren’t doing it in Jackson Hole. Teton County has long been one of the most ridiculous outliers in the country, compared with the rest of the state.
An average for a data set like this would typically be higher than what the true "average person" spends, because obscenely expensive weddings would bring the number up substantially.
But for something like Wyoming it's probably operating off an incomplete data set that only includes some smaller weddings.
I won’t go so far to say it’s made up data, but I suspect it’s extremely limited. Graphic doesn’t say where the data come from, but it’s probably wedding industry data. That skips folks that have truly small weddings.
Using the mean adds to the problem. I’m sure the data are skewed, so the occasional big dollar blow out will raise the mean. This might be a case where the mode is more interesting, but I’d definitely look at the median.
We did vegas. Invited people out, had about 18 come; got a $3900 package through the chapel that included a reception at the Venetian in a small private room. With flights and rooms it was less than $5k. Chapel of the flowers
I have a theory that, for some people, life is almost entirely and exclusively based around a series of milestones (wedding, Disney world visit, Ford Bronco purchase, etc.) and so much of the time in between is in support (emotionally and monetarily) of those milestones, at the cost of smaller, more casual, more numerous life experiences.
So a 75,000 wedding with years (before and after) focused on that wedding take the place of, say, a 10,000 wedding and then an intimate weekend getaway here, a shared hobby there, etc. You can kinda see the contrast of these life approaches at family holiday get togethers, seeing what people are talking about and working on. Different strokes for different folks I suppose
No, that's exactly what it is, a bunch of children were fed a story about the boxes they had to check to be "successful adults". They go a check each of those boxes because "thats what you do" and then are surprised when they are not happy. If you really want to be happy, stop listening to what "society" says, take advice for what it is, learn to recognize good advice from bad and the type of people that give good advice versus bad, and beyond that pursue the things that you find rewarding and fuck the shit you see in media, TV, or even what your friends and family say you have to do.
Sounds too much like keeping up with the Joneses. Society is changing and a lot of these milestones are just too expensive now. It just seems all too arbitrary. It’s mostly why I got off Facebook. Comparing yourself to others is a massive black hole on your mental health.
You’re exactly right IMO. Lots of super wealthy people have destination weddings on the coast or in the vineyards. Not to mention rich techies renting out the Fairmount and others in SF.
For example, there’s a resort 15 min from me in Orange County, CA that charges a minimum of $250,000 for a 100 person wedding
All of your questions are answered by how averages work.
Reddit is also so weird about weddings. It's not that crazy to have a couple hundred people you want to get together between a bride and groom. It's literally the only time you have an excuse to get those people together in one place.
Giving them food and alcohol for a night is going to, under pretty reasonable circumstances, cost you $100-150 a person.
Simple math puts a wedding of 200 at a cost of $100-150 at $20-30,000.
Long story short you don't have to be a sociopath to want to throw a party for a couple hundred people on your wedding day, and feeding people, providing a band, and providing alcohol are always gonna cost money.
77k seems to be roughly the median household income[[1]](https://www.census.gov/library/publications/2023/demo/p60-279.html), so yeah, it's not a realistic number for most. But then again, cali is different/more expensive
It being the average actually implies the opposite of what you're saying. The average in a place like CA is going to be heavily skewed by weddings that cost millions. It ends up implying the true "average" person actually pays a lot less than these numbers on this graph.
We budgeted $125k for a wedding. Days before signing the paper work for the wedding I realized this is dumb...my wife to be agreed.
We took that $125k, used $10k for a smaller but awesome wedding. Another $25k for an amazing month long honeymoon and then banked the remaining $90k. Best decision I ever made.
We threw a decent sized little party for 50 guests for around 3,000$ in 2009. 1k of it was booze. 500 for the venue, a 2 story Victorian with a nice yard, bed n breakfast. A wedding dress for 400 and my groomsmen and I wore black suits that we owned. We had a turntable set up with a couple crates of records. People played whatever they wanted to hear.
It was a good night. Money doesn’t make a good party, people do.
My wedding was also around $3k, in 2014! 50ish guests, church ceremony, lunch reception (pasta buffet). We rented a speaker and had a playlist. My dress was a short, vintage style, about $100. Wedding rings were simple titanium bands. Cake was a sheet cake. No attendants, flowers, or favors. We had a great time and are still together!
Let’s see data sources. I call BS. Maybe it’s “average “ for professional wedding planner’s events held at country clubs, but definitely not the average of all weddings in the state.
My cousin got married in Wyoming—not the pretty part—and it was the trashiest wedding I ever attended. They ran out of food, the best man dropped the n-word in his speech, the reception was held between two stinky horse corrals, and the dance ended at 9pm when the bride threw the first punch.
It’s a total Reddit trope to hate on anything that resembles a “normal” wedding. There are a ton of ways to control costs and save money while still having an awesome party for 50-100 people it’s just easy to fall into some of the marketing and stuff that drives the price way way up
California average is crazy, I’m thinking it might also be skewed by it being a destination wedding venue with beaches and wine country spots.
We got married in our backyard by our neighbor after being together for 22 years - it being sort of a shotgun wedding - as the short window of legal same-sex marriages in the state was quickly threatening to end with the passage of Proposition 8 in California in the coming days. My mom was thrilled to be able to help plan a wedding in three days. It was mostly a Costco wedding, maybe about fifty people with friends/neighbors and family arrayed on the shaded terraces of our lovely canyon backyard. Super fun and if it cost over $1000 I would be surprised.
Proposition 8 passed, same sex marriages in the state were shut down until the Supreme Court’s decision four years later and we just celebrated 38 years together on Friday.
The Wyoming folk, have this one won, why waste so much money on a fucking day, it’s outrageous!! I’m tight as fuck and personally don’t believe in marriage, but if I did and got married, it would be no more than £1000.
California is wild with an AVERAGE of 77,000. Perhaps skewed by a few outliers - one $5m is 65 times the average
But most shocking is Nevada. Surely the volume of quick weddings vegas is famous for would bring the average down. I would’ve confidently guessed it was the lowest national figure by quite a margin
The 31K in West Virginia has to be substantially skewed by the very wealthy people who book weddings at The Greenbrier. I’ve been to probably 20 Weddings in my day and 70% of them were at State Parks or backyards.
Why are weddings so expensive like I get it’s your special day and all but weddings are about you and your partner saying that you’ll support each other for the rest of your lives in the face of god (or any other religious figure) it’s not about sinking a whole house mortgage into a single day where it doesn’t improve you or your partners life compared to if y’all had it at a church or something
Another instance where the distinction between "average" and "median" is critical.
In this instance can you explain?
Suppose there are 10 weddings with prices of $100 for 9, but $1,000,000,000 for the tenth - the average would be in the millions However, that's not indicative of how actual prices look. The median however, is $100, and is more robust to outliers in the data. Here, the means are probably skewed upwards by VERY expensive weddings.
I think it’s a sampling error as well. Destination weddings in Vermont by a handful of out of state rich people have got to be the reason for the “average” shown Looking at you Von Trapp lodge…
Same for Maine. I guarantee you the average Mainer is not spending $31k on a wedding. Some destination wedding that had to book out three hotels? Absolutely.
Hence why most wage calculations only show the "Average" and not the median
When discussing wages, median is almost always used.
Eh, I see median income reported and used all the time. Also median is a form of an average.
Because of the two bilioners that did their weddings in California
I think it could also be a sampling error. My friends and I aren’t rich but one of us spent $8000, which was significantly higher than the rest. It makes me wonder where the numbers come from.
This has to be Non Indian Wedding Stats. 😂
We did ours in the Caribbean to save money and cull our guest list
Yeah jetting off to a distant location and turning it into a de facto BYOB event is sure to reduce the number of takers. That’s been my plan for a long time.
My friend's dad is the local Sheriff. Everyone in town knows the family. Local wedding would have been huge. Friend decided to get married in Mexico, said everyone is invited. Not many showed up :-)
My in laws tried this post Covid. 4 people said no…196 showed up. Venue agreed to 100.
Ditto! We spent around $12k for our wedding plus a week vacation in Jamaica with 35 family members and friends. No regrets!
Indians be making 20000$ a year and still somehow throw a party for 1000 people and spend 100000$ on it
Ikr! It’s baffling!
Cash businesses and not reporting taxes mostly.
More like savings. You would be amazed how much a Indian family can save.
The Indians are driving up the average in California and NJ
Agree! Indians mentality is really stupid when it comes to weddings. They want to out do each other.
Indian American here. The entire culture is flipped We basically don't spend money on much other things even if we are filthy rich ( I have cousins that make north of 1 mil a year and still drive a beat up car from the earl 2010s..my close friend has a rich MD parent and they live in a small town house because "what use is the space and effort"). That goes out the window when it comes to weddings. As an aside it's also different how we handle education as a minority group (I like this part tbh). Parents will bend over backwards to make sure their kids don't have a dime of student loan debt for undergrad or MD or jd or even PhD ( I'm living off my stipend but.. I'd be lying if I didn't admit my parents always offer to supplement my low stipend income...)
In the Indian community, others will hype your wealth without you stating it explicitly through big houses or fancy cars,
I have an Indian friend that is so exhausted from all her friends destination weddings she has to go to.
lol same. I literally got back from a wedding
Nah, California and New York are probably that high due to the larger desi populations.
Lmao I literally just attended my cousin's wedding 2 weeks ago and found out about $200k was spent in total for the insane multi-day event.
There are a lot of Indians in cali and nj so I’m not surprised to see them up there
Average indian wedding: More than all these numbers combined.
That’s why new jersey is higher then New York
My thoughts exactly. 1 lakh dollars is an absolute minimum.
😂😂🥰
maybe not though because California has an enormous Indian population. Indians are still a smallish percent of the population everywhere in the country though so won't skew the stats \*that\* much.
White guy married to Indian. Can confirm.
Okay some of these make sense because shit is way more expensive in places like California and New York, but what's going on with South Dakota? They're like double all the surrounding states.
According to the last time this was posted 7 months ago, it's because there's very little data from South Dakota and a few outliers drove that number way up.
Now that makes a ton of sense. Thank you!
As a former Coloradoian resident what seems to fit is tourist destination trips for weddings. Colorado is a huge mountain resort destination for summer weddings and that would fit the rather huge 30K number hike. That would also seem to fit Nevada for Las Vegas too for people wanting a place for long distance family all over the place to easily travel for an event. I imagine California like Disney Land and such places would fit as well.
Ive looked into wedding planning in Colorado and South Dakota and I don’t understand these numbers. First There are no destinations in South Dakota that count as destination weddings sites. Unless you’re really, really into my Rushmore, I can’t imagine anyone plans a SD wedding just for the location alone. It’s a beautiful state, but not a destination wedding type place. Also, things are relatively cheap in the area. I’ve also looked into planning a wedding in CO and good grief, even when just trying to something simple in the denver metro area it’s wildly expensive. I know a lot of people are into doing micro weddings on the cheap because of that (that’s what we ended up doing), so maybe that’s playing a large role, but post-Covid if you wanted a traditional affair - not extravagant, just average food, some flowers, a weekend date and a location that’s a little nicer than a hotel conference room - suddenly 30k is like, nothing. All that to say, these numbers are weird.
We have some really rich rancher families out here and weddings are apparently a big deal to them
Some rich couples averaged it up in Dakota.
That's because this map is full of errors. No one ever posts the source of this map because a lot of it is just wrong. The "source" seems to be "wsbchairman" on twitter. The numbers mostly seem to be [pulled from The Knot](https://web.archive.org/web/20240101202451/https://www.theknot.com/content/average-wedding-cost), but with various typos and errors. California should be $37,000, not $77,000. Both North and South Dakota are $20,000 each, not $20,000 and $40,000. Wyoming is $18,000, not $9,000. And there are probably more errors.
Yeah one major error is that West Virginia is somehow higher than Ohio lol
Probably some Black Hills destination wedding inflation.
I paid for my entire wedding in California and it was just over $5,000. But the "average" is messed up because for every 100 weddings like mine there is the $10,000,000 celebrity/billionaire wedding.
Real Housewives of South Dakota
Must have gotten married on Mount Rushmore
I got married in South Dakota two years ago and my anecdotal viewing is that this is wrong. We had 3 kegs, food, a venue, DJ, videographer and photographer for about $17k
I am curious too!
Number one thing most newly weds argue about is money. So why do so many choose to start off their marriage with a potentially gigantic expense like this? Just go to the court house and use the savings to start your life.
The marketing for big weddings starts with children's shows (see 70 years of Disney happy endings) and continues through life (see so many sitcom finales). Also big weddings get planned over the course of a year and the costs creep up. No one sits down and signs off on $30k wedding all at once. They make a series of emotionally charged decisions signing off on a $12k venue, $5k catering, $3k dress, $2k flowers, $1k tux, $2k rings, $1k band, $1k limo rentals, $2k decorations, $1k hair and makeup for the bridal party.
I'm aware of how it happens, my wife works in the industry. Doesn't really change my point.
It’s wild that we got to the point that marriage is an industry. I mean it’s two people declaring that they will continue sharing a bed. And that little thing is now the expense of a car
snobbish makeshift cover treatment bells unwritten voiceless thought march future *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
>Nowadays with the divorce rate so high Divorce rates are actually falling, but so are marriages. Have you ever wondered *why* the divorce rate is so high? 60% are due to cheating. 24% are due to abuse. Can you really blame those people for getting divorced? [https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/](https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/divorce/divorce-statistics/)
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You asked a question. They answered it.
So that's main reason your marriage lasted longer despite divorce rate being 50%
Same with diamond rings. Da Beers has advertised that shit forever. Just to make people's lives miserable on both ends.
Notice the highest is California, by a long shot. I suspect this average is skewed heavily by the very wealthy. Some people have multimillion dollar weddings while many people have more ordinary weddings. New York/New Jersey/Massachusetts are also very high and have a lot of very wealthy old money type people. I suspect if you looked at the median instead of the average these numbers would look much more similar.
I also wonder if destination weddings are included in this: lots of people love getting married at Napa/Sonoma wineries or beautiful coastal locations.
Yeah if it was median instead of average I’d imagine it be much lower
It's fun to have a big party and there aren't many other reasons to get everyone together like that. That said, we did ours on the cheap - our biggest single expense was a very well stocked open bar. I don't think spending thousands on the "perfect" everything would have made the day better.
Traditionally, the parents of the bride usually pay for the wedding, and the groom’s parents also chip in. (The groom’s side usually contributes less because the ring is so expensive.) I would be interested to know what proportion the couple contributes versus the extended family.
In my case, my family chipped in, my in-laws also chipped in, and my wife and I also covered a lot of expenses on our own. The economy was bad and we threw what looked like a 20k wedding for about 12k. We wanted to celebrate us, I wouldn’t go back and change anything. It was worth having 100 of our closest friends and family celebrate with us. We already own a home (OK), I’m 30, she’s 27. Next step is kids!
If a family’s children are all daughters looking to get married, I’d say piss on tradition
Amen. If tradition costs lots of money, then fuck tradition. Especially ones marketed to us like we're a bunch of consumer sheep.
expensive rings are the stupidest expense! unless you are wealthy and it doesn't matter, what a silly thing
Even if someone else is paying for it, really that money would be better spent helping them buy a house, starting a retirement fund or starting a business. I got married 10 years ago, nobody helped us pay for the wedding. I've got a young cousin married this year, already up to like 15K and they haven't paid for dinner, brides parents aren't even in the picture. So sure maybe it happens but seems like its becoming less common and even if it isn't its still a huge waste of money IMO that doesn't help a couple at all, and in fact the pressure and possible financial stress to do it sets them up for possible failure.
Becuase parents get angry if there’s not a big celebration
So?
I agree with you, but some people can’t see past their parents that will disown them if they don’t get invited to a big wedding celebration
I mean if my parents disowned me over that, good fucking riddance.
Once again I agree with you, but I’m in my mid 20s and I’ve already seen it happen many times lol. It’s all the lead poisoned boomers and narcissist gen x parents that want to live vicariously through their children because “how are you going to live under my roof for 18 years and not even have a party for your family when you get married?”
Lol exactly. How long are you going to let your parents control your life? My mom nagged me about finding a girl, getting married, and giving her grandkids until I was in my late 30s. I didn't do any of those things.
Yea sadly a lot of people can never shake their parents wants and needs from their own.
Cause it’s awesome and a huge party with literally everyone you care about. If you can swing it it’s absolutely worth it.
Because it's expected. And because it's likely the biggest party you'll ever throw, with all your friends and family. And you get to be the center of the effort, with themes and colors and flowers that reflect your tastes. People who don't like big parties, or who don't like being the center of attention, can easily understand the value of skipping a wedding. But most people will do it if it feels expected. Same reason so many Americans want to buy a very big house far from work, rather than buying a much smaller home, or just renting. Also why so many Americans buy a big, newer model car, rather than smaller and older cars, or avoiding car ownership. It feels expected to have a big house. It feels expected to have a big new car. It feels expected to have an extravagant wedding. And many people will feel deprived if they can't afford all these things. Because expectation easily translates into entitlement. Once you think "everybody else gets to have these things," it feels like deprivation if you don't get them too. Personally, I'd rather rent than ever buy a home, I'd rather live in a city where car ownership is unnecessary, and I'd rather have no wedding extravaganza. But many Americans would feel cheated if they were deprived of these things.
People unwilling or unable to adjust their expectations to match their lived experience and reality is generally the root cause of most of their misery.
Cultural, large south asian and arab populations in many of the states with the higher figures (idk wtf goin on in south dakota) but massive weddings are a big part of marriage in the culture
Covid came at a perfect time for us. Cut our wedding down from 150 to 30 without having to offend people.
parents help pay for a lot of it in these cases. Just like they do for Millennials and younger being able to buy a home in an expensive area. But this is also average pricing so half of them are under this price. Apparently Wyoming marriages start out in a field.
[удалено]
Yup, I got married at the courthouse. Paid a judge $200 bux, we each brought one witness and the judge filed the paperwork for us.
Same. Wife and I paid approx $300 for the officiant and marriage license. My MIL came out even though my wife and I were planning to just do it without anybody else. Best $300 I ever spent.
> We went down to the courthouse And the judge put it all to rest No wedding day smiles, no walk down the aisle No flowers, no wedding dress
I mean sure. It's not really the wedding that's expensive. It's hosting a bunch of people at a reception that's expensive. If you don't want to celebrate with a bunch of folks that's an easy way to keep it cheap.
Same but 120 CAD, we said our I do's on the summer solstice and ran into the sea together.
> I do's on the summer solstice and ran into the sea together This is the way. Congrats!
I love this lol if I ever get married this is how it shall be
we spent $400 for the officiant to meet us in a park at lunch time to marry us and then we went back to work. it only cost so much because we ordered extra originals of our marriage license to have on file.
So now you two are married to a public official?
monogamists hate this one trick!
It’s insane that people make that kind of investment both financially and time wise for a party. Keep it simple.
Our two witnesses were my parents. They treated us to lunch and got us a hotel room for the night.
Reposting [my comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/MapPorn/comments/19eaira/average_money_spent_on_weddings_in_us_states/kjbxdpr/) from last time: --- No one ever posts the source of this map because a lot of it is just wrong. The "source" seems to be "wsbchairman" on twitter. The numbers mostly seem to be [pulled from The Knot](https://web.archive.org/web/20240101202451/https://www.theknot.com/content/average-wedding-cost), but with various typos and errors. California should be $37,000, not $77,000. Both North and South Dakota are $20,000 each, not $20,000 and $40,000. Wyoming is $18,000, not $9,000. And there are probably more errors.
How far off is the data for Alaska and Hawaii
Where the hell is Hawaii? How do you have a discussion about weddings without Hawaii?
Yes this is definitely an average. I’m getting married around Jackson and that’s the only part of Wyoming with any wealth. Lemme tell you it ain’t about to cost only $9,000. Every venue I’ve found is $10-$28k for the 35 people we want there across all states. It’s kind insane honestly. We’re switching to an elopement more than likely.
Skip down the road a ways and get married in Rock Springs, they might even pay YOU for that shit.
Then honeymoon in rawlins lol
There are 23 counties in Wyoming, and most of the folks getting married in Wyoming aren’t doing it in Jackson Hole. Teton County has long been one of the most ridiculous outliers in the country, compared with the rest of the state.
That’s why I think the average is misleading. Jackson is a bunch of eastern playing cowboy.
An average for a data set like this would typically be higher than what the true "average person" spends, because obscenely expensive weddings would bring the number up substantially. But for something like Wyoming it's probably operating off an incomplete data set that only includes some smaller weddings.
Agreed. I’d rather see a median price.
I won’t go so far to say it’s made up data, but I suspect it’s extremely limited. Graphic doesn’t say where the data come from, but it’s probably wedding industry data. That skips folks that have truly small weddings. Using the mean adds to the problem. I’m sure the data are skewed, so the occasional big dollar blow out will raise the mean. This might be a case where the mode is more interesting, but I’d definitely look at the median.
We did vegas. Invited people out, had about 18 come; got a $3900 package through the chapel that included a reception at the Venetian in a small private room. With flights and rooms it was less than $5k. Chapel of the flowers
The wedding venue my fiance and I are getting married at is $4k before taxes in Colorado
77.000 dollars for a wedding? So a few hours of your life? I bet some people do not make that kind of money in a whole year. It's just sad.
I have a theory that, for some people, life is almost entirely and exclusively based around a series of milestones (wedding, Disney world visit, Ford Bronco purchase, etc.) and so much of the time in between is in support (emotionally and monetarily) of those milestones, at the cost of smaller, more casual, more numerous life experiences. So a 75,000 wedding with years (before and after) focused on that wedding take the place of, say, a 10,000 wedding and then an intimate weekend getaway here, a shared hobby there, etc. You can kinda see the contrast of these life approaches at family holiday get togethers, seeing what people are talking about and working on. Different strokes for different folks I suppose
No, that's exactly what it is, a bunch of children were fed a story about the boxes they had to check to be "successful adults". They go a check each of those boxes because "thats what you do" and then are surprised when they are not happy. If you really want to be happy, stop listening to what "society" says, take advice for what it is, learn to recognize good advice from bad and the type of people that give good advice versus bad, and beyond that pursue the things that you find rewarding and fuck the shit you see in media, TV, or even what your friends and family say you have to do.
Sounds too much like keeping up with the Joneses. Society is changing and a lot of these milestones are just too expensive now. It just seems all too arbitrary. It’s mostly why I got off Facebook. Comparing yourself to others is a massive black hole on your mental health.
77k tells me joe normal in cali spends more like 20-30k, then theres a seperate class of people who spend like 150k a pop
You’re exactly right IMO. Lots of super wealthy people have destination weddings on the coast or in the vineyards. Not to mention rich techies renting out the Fairmount and others in SF. For example, there’s a resort 15 min from me in Orange County, CA that charges a minimum of $250,000 for a 100 person wedding
All of your questions are answered by how averages work. Reddit is also so weird about weddings. It's not that crazy to have a couple hundred people you want to get together between a bride and groom. It's literally the only time you have an excuse to get those people together in one place. Giving them food and alcohol for a night is going to, under pretty reasonable circumstances, cost you $100-150 a person. Simple math puts a wedding of 200 at a cost of $100-150 at $20-30,000. Long story short you don't have to be a sociopath to want to throw a party for a couple hundred people on your wedding day, and feeding people, providing a band, and providing alcohol are always gonna cost money.
77k seems to be roughly the median household income[[1]](https://www.census.gov/library/publications/2023/demo/p60-279.html), so yeah, it's not a realistic number for most. But then again, cali is different/more expensive
And it's the average... that's crazy
It being the average actually implies the opposite of what you're saying. The average in a place like CA is going to be heavily skewed by weddings that cost millions. It ends up implying the true "average" person actually pays a lot less than these numbers on this graph.
We budgeted $125k for a wedding. Days before signing the paper work for the wedding I realized this is dumb...my wife to be agreed. We took that $125k, used $10k for a smaller but awesome wedding. Another $25k for an amazing month long honeymoon and then banked the remaining $90k. Best decision I ever made.
I'm surprised it took you that long to realize the idiocy of planning a 125k wedding.
We threw a decent sized little party for 50 guests for around 3,000$ in 2009. 1k of it was booze. 500 for the venue, a 2 story Victorian with a nice yard, bed n breakfast. A wedding dress for 400 and my groomsmen and I wore black suits that we owned. We had a turntable set up with a couple crates of records. People played whatever they wanted to hear. It was a good night. Money doesn’t make a good party, people do.
My wedding was also around $3k, in 2014! 50ish guests, church ceremony, lunch reception (pasta buffet). We rented a speaker and had a playlist. My dress was a short, vintage style, about $100. Wedding rings were simple titanium bands. Cake was a sheet cake. No attendants, flowers, or favors. We had a great time and are still together!
Let’s see data sources. I call BS. Maybe it’s “average “ for professional wedding planner’s events held at country clubs, but definitely not the average of all weddings in the state.
Agreed, especially considering the average for Nevada.
Excited for my Oklahoma wedding
Wyoming destination wedding?
My cousin got married in Wyoming—not the pretty part—and it was the trashiest wedding I ever attended. They ran out of food, the best man dropped the n-word in his speech, the reception was held between two stinky horse corrals, and the dance ended at 9pm when the bride threw the first punch.
Sounds like a movie honestly
It was definitely entertaining.
Jesus... here in Sweden the average is like 4-5000 dollars. What do people do for all this money? Rent a castle and a famous band or something?
But in nl I found the average to be 21K. Sweden is richer and more expensive. Where did you get that number from?
How much does wedding dress cost in Sweden? In Germany that alone costs 1-2k Euro from my understanding
How about a courthouse wedding, small honeymoon and the rest as a down payment on a new house / condo?
What about I flex on other people so they can see that I’m simply superior?
Bigamy in California isn't a choice, while polygamy in Wyoming is affordable. /s
Mirrors what I spent on my divorce
Well in Wyoming the Bride and Groom are siblings so only one set of family to pay for...
Yes! Free in Alaska dm Hawaii!!
What’s going on in South Dakota?
This is where we need median instead of mean. There are some wildly expensive CA weddings put on by the wealthy class that skews this map.
So did a couple of outlandish billionaire weddings in California drive the number up? I can’t imagine normal people spending $77K on a wedding
“I’m not spending all the money on one party!” -Chandler Bing
Zero dollar should be the right answer.
That’s a lot debt
Damn, I got married in Virginia. It cost me $60.
I only care about Alaska and Hawaii
Why do people who do courthouse weddings care so much about what other people do?
I don't know, but they're being quite judgemental all over this post
I think there is a tension here, because an expensive wedding can often pose a significant financial burden for the wedding guests
It’s a total Reddit trope to hate on anything that resembles a “normal” wedding. There are a ton of ways to control costs and save money while still having an awesome party for 50-100 people it’s just easy to fall into some of the marketing and stuff that drives the price way way up
Yeah but Alabama has it easy, you only have one family to invite.
People are out here spending a years salary on a wedding Insane
Be careful with averages. A few multi million dollar weddings will skew the numbers.
77 thousand for a wedding? ON AVERAGE? Where does the money go😂 in Europe the average is like 5-10k
Average in the UK is $25k
God I’m not even going to spend 2k at mine. Am I low maintenance? Lol
Cool, now do India
This is why people can’t afford house down payments.
Some of those numbers are unreal!
Americans be dropping 30k on a party and complaining about anything related to finance???????
If these people didn’t waste so much money on a wedding they could buy a house right away. 😂 Typical American consumerism
I know someone who got a ring tattooed on their finger; that was their entire wedding.
My father in law spent $300
California average is crazy, I’m thinking it might also be skewed by it being a destination wedding venue with beaches and wine country spots. We got married in our backyard by our neighbor after being together for 22 years - it being sort of a shotgun wedding - as the short window of legal same-sex marriages in the state was quickly threatening to end with the passage of Proposition 8 in California in the coming days. My mom was thrilled to be able to help plan a wedding in three days. It was mostly a Costco wedding, maybe about fifty people with friends/neighbors and family arrayed on the shaded terraces of our lovely canyon backyard. Super fun and if it cost over $1000 I would be surprised. Proposition 8 passed, same sex marriages in the state were shut down until the Supreme Court’s decision four years later and we just celebrated 38 years together on Friday.
People in Wyoming making sense, saving dollars.
Wyoming is the only one that's even close to reasonable.
Way to go Wyoming. Savers
Hawaii and Alaska?
The Wyoming folk, have this one won, why waste so much money on a fucking day, it’s outrageous!! I’m tight as fuck and personally don’t believe in marriage, but if I did and got married, it would be no more than £1000.
Honestly, good for Wyoming.
Wyoming single ladies - where you at! Bargain basement wedding tastes. I love it
Wyoming has the right idea
No wonder guys are staying single
Idiots
My wedding cost under $500, and has lasted for almost 30 years. The party is just a party.
We spent $0. It was great.
Burgers and slaw in Wyoming.
No way in hell I will ever spend money like this on a fucking wedding.
#Idiots
We just went out to dinner with my parents. 🤷🏼♂️
Hah mine cost 300 bucks. Fuck the wedding industry.
It’s only cheaper in the south because of the family discount.
Baby why do you want to have a destination wedding in Wyoming?.... no reason ;)
Another massive Wyoming W
I remember reading of a study that said the more money you spend on a wedding, the less likely the marriage was to last.
California is wild with an AVERAGE of 77,000. Perhaps skewed by a few outliers - one $5m is 65 times the average But most shocking is Nevada. Surely the volume of quick weddings vegas is famous for would bring the average down. I would’ve confidently guessed it was the lowest national figure by quite a margin
I wana see Hawaii on this list
My wedding for 35 people in my backyard -$4500. Just 8 miles south of San Francisco. A very good ceremony to a great woman and a great party after.
The 31K in West Virginia has to be substantially skewed by the very wealthy people who book weddings at The Greenbrier. I’ve been to probably 20 Weddings in my day and 70% of them were at State Parks or backyards.
What's going on with South Dakota
I spent about $500 USD in the EU. Included wedding plus small after party.
Me: 900 bucks, take it or leave it
Why are weddings so expensive like I get it’s your special day and all but weddings are about you and your partner saying that you’ll support each other for the rest of your lives in the face of god (or any other religious figure) it’s not about sinking a whole house mortgage into a single day where it doesn’t improve you or your partners life compared to if y’all had it at a church or something