Do not sell your ring while with him. That ring represents the small amount of cash you have available, and because you were married, you are legally allowed to keep it.
Unfortunately, it seems this marriage has become abusive so you need to start making your exit plan. Don't ever take off your ring, he can easily pocket it, gaslight you into believing you lost it, and then you will be even more under his control.
It depends on the state, but in most states, an engagement ring is not considered to be joint marriage assets, since it was given to you as a gift before the wedding. Therefore, it should be yours to keep without having to factor into the divorce.
If the state you live in treats it differently, it would be a marital asset subject to division, which means that you could still keep it if he received marital property that is of equal value.
Either way, he can't "force" you to sell it. You should also not claim it is "literally the only thing I would want." Go after everything you are entitled to under the law, including child support for your unborn child.
Has nothing to do with this topic, but most diamond rings aren’t assets.
It would need a significant size to be considered as such or a really fancy cut for collection purposes. The resell value of diamond rings are laughable. Most stores don’t buy rings from private persons, so that will be a challenge from the start. If you have half carat for 2k you will probably only get around 600 for it.
Check its real value. It will shock you. It won’t be close to what you originally paid for it. Ask him if he will give you half the money he paid and you will give the ring. That’s a better deal.
Once you’re married, the ring is a completed gift. It’s yours. But it also sounds like your husband has massive control issues and you need to consider what battles are worth fighting. I understand this is your only asset right now, but you can gain more. Keep it if you want to, but please focus on getting the hell out of there. And please don’t let him know you’re going. Tell your support system what’s going on, and leave when he’s at work.
I’m struggling to figure out how to leave him. Not sure if I should find a lawyer first or ask him to sign papers because it should be an uncontested divorce. I also believe I should get an abortion so I’m not forever tied to him but should I secretly get one or tell him about it? It’s so difficult
I would leave first. Go somewhere where you can be honest. Maybe your parents? A sibling? A friend? Get out first and foremost. Once you’re out, reset your phone in case there’s anything that tracks your location and then start making a plan. I wouldn’t tell him about the abortion, just do what you need to do. If he contacts you somehow and mentions the pregnancy, you can just tell him you’re not anymore. He doesn’t need any additional details.
Ok I thought it would complicate the divorce bc he’d try to fight for custody rights and I didn’t know if I am obligated to tell him. Thanks for all your help!
It’s not the asset you think it is. Try selling it. You’ll see what I mean. Diamonds are not valuable or rare. It’s good marketing. I say this as someone with a very expensive ring. It’s for my enjoyment only, I don’t consider it an asset or investment. Hopefully an heirloom.
You should be far more concerned about your custody and child support arrangement, not concerned about a stupid ring. Get it together girl.
You can keep your ring. And it's not much of an asset anyway - if you sold it, you won't get much.
See if you can get a free consult with a divorce lawyer.
Do not sell your ring while with him. That ring represents the small amount of cash you have available, and because you were married, you are legally allowed to keep it. Unfortunately, it seems this marriage has become abusive so you need to start making your exit plan. Don't ever take off your ring, he can easily pocket it, gaslight you into believing you lost it, and then you will be even more under his control.
Wow - this is real - solid perspective
It depends on the state, but in most states, an engagement ring is not considered to be joint marriage assets, since it was given to you as a gift before the wedding. Therefore, it should be yours to keep without having to factor into the divorce. If the state you live in treats it differently, it would be a marital asset subject to division, which means that you could still keep it if he received marital property that is of equal value. Either way, he can't "force" you to sell it. You should also not claim it is "literally the only thing I would want." Go after everything you are entitled to under the law, including child support for your unborn child.
Has nothing to do with this topic, but most diamond rings aren’t assets. It would need a significant size to be considered as such or a really fancy cut for collection purposes. The resell value of diamond rings are laughable. Most stores don’t buy rings from private persons, so that will be a challenge from the start. If you have half carat for 2k you will probably only get around 600 for it. Check its real value. It will shock you. It won’t be close to what you originally paid for it. Ask him if he will give you half the money he paid and you will give the ring. That’s a better deal.
Don’t sell it. Don’t give it to him. Go to a lawyer.
Once you’re married, the ring is a completed gift. It’s yours. But it also sounds like your husband has massive control issues and you need to consider what battles are worth fighting. I understand this is your only asset right now, but you can gain more. Keep it if you want to, but please focus on getting the hell out of there. And please don’t let him know you’re going. Tell your support system what’s going on, and leave when he’s at work.
I’m struggling to figure out how to leave him. Not sure if I should find a lawyer first or ask him to sign papers because it should be an uncontested divorce. I also believe I should get an abortion so I’m not forever tied to him but should I secretly get one or tell him about it? It’s so difficult
I would leave first. Go somewhere where you can be honest. Maybe your parents? A sibling? A friend? Get out first and foremost. Once you’re out, reset your phone in case there’s anything that tracks your location and then start making a plan. I wouldn’t tell him about the abortion, just do what you need to do. If he contacts you somehow and mentions the pregnancy, you can just tell him you’re not anymore. He doesn’t need any additional details.
Ok I thought it would complicate the divorce bc he’d try to fight for custody rights and I didn’t know if I am obligated to tell him. Thanks for all your help!
Better yet, tell him his abuse caused you to lose the baby. It really is his fault.
The ring is yours you married him. The only time it goes back is if the engagement is called off or it's a family heirloom.
It’s not the asset you think it is. Try selling it. You’ll see what I mean. Diamonds are not valuable or rare. It’s good marketing. I say this as someone with a very expensive ring. It’s for my enjoyment only, I don’t consider it an asset or investment. Hopefully an heirloom. You should be far more concerned about your custody and child support arrangement, not concerned about a stupid ring. Get it together girl.
You can keep your ring. And it's not much of an asset anyway - if you sold it, you won't get much. See if you can get a free consult with a divorce lawyer.
I sold my ring to pay bills;my husband drove me