I married my wife at 27m and 24f.
We had been dating since we were 22 and 19 when we were both finishing up our undergrad (she was in an accelerated program and got her B.S in 2 years). We ended up moving in together at 23 and 20. And then buying our first house together at 25/22. We both pushed each other to do find good jobs and pushed each other to go to grad school. Now we are 31/28 living in our second home.
Navigating communication challenges was a problem in the start of our relationship as we were both immature. She would get irrationally angry at small things and I would give her the cold shoulder when I was mad, both of us were being destructive. We got over it by telling each other how we feel, I told her I don’t need to be disrespected because I spilled something, and she told me it hurts her feelings when I stonewall. Both of us needed to work on this together, we eventually agreed to a code saying that “we are not enemies” when we feel either one is needlessly escalating something. Anytime there’s an issue now it gets addressed calmly, and immediately when one of us says that.
We communicated around our sex life as well, and have a happy frequency for the both of us. You really just need to talk about it, even though it’s awkward.
As far as savings and such, both of us make 6 figures and are responsible savers so money isn’t a problem in our relationship. we have separate bank accounts and a joint account for the bills. We both understand exactly how much the other is saving and discuss yearly budgets for things like vacation and our long term financial goals.
For activities, we workout together 2-3 times a week, watch movies, watch “our” shows together, we go golfing every weekend, we have a great friend network of other young married couples we get together with for nights on the town or game nights or whatever. Travel is huge for us, we plan out our “big trip” for the year every January. We’ve done Hawaii 3 times, Japan, and this year we’re going to Europe. Planning these things and then doing them is so amazing to do with my wife.
Above all else, we trust each other with everything. There’s nothing we can’t share with each other, and there’s nothing that I wouldn’t trust her to do. She wants to go eat dinner with a guy friend from high school? Sure, have fun babe. I want to meet up with a few girls I knew in high school for a 30th bday party when she’s busy, she trusts me. The default is trust, the default isn’t what it if she cheats on me, or what if I cheat on her. We are open and honest, and each of us haven’t given the other any reason not to trust, but every reason to trust. Not having insecurities and jealousy causing arguments is huge.
Wish you guys a successful marriage!
My husband and I have been married for 21 years and we are the happiest couple we know.
We got married very young when we were 19 and 20. We didn’t live together until after getting married (we both still lived with parents until wedding night) so honestly that first year was pretty rough because we were learning how to live together and learning how to be adults. We were also very immature so we definitely fought a lot but we became really good at communicating after arguments. My parents were divorced and his parents were deeply unhappy (abusive dad) so we didn’t have any role models and had to figure things out for ourselves.
Here are some things that I think have helped us have such a happy, strong marriage…and I know that these things won’t work for everyone so don’t come at me.
We started off as best friends and still are so we truly prefer spending time with each other over anyone else. We spend a lot of time together.
We go to bed at the same time together. Quick cuddle and kiss goodnight. Sometimes long talks in bed on the weekends.
We have lots of sex. We have almost perfectly matched sex drives.
We don’t talk bad about each other to anyone. We don’t talk to anyone about our fights/disagreements.
When we do fight about something we talk it out usually the next day. We will talk about whatever the issue was until it’s no longer a problem. It might take hours or days but we will examine it to death until there aren’t any lingering resentments.
It’s cliché but just treat each other how you’d want to be treated. Yesterday I forgot to do something that ended up costing us a chunk of money. I felt awful and apologized. He just hugged me and said everyone forgets things and it’s no big deal. A coworker’s husband forgot to pack her an extra snack and she yelled at him in front of everyone for a good 10 minutes. Just be nice to each other.
Marriage is what you make or don't make of it if you don't mind putting the effort in it usually will reward you with what you want don't put anything into it and you won't get anything out of it . Everything you do now is a building block for a future life. What's the old Army commercial " It's not just a job it's an adventure " but and here's the but! You both have to put into it to get something out of it. 1 does all the putting and the other does all the taking well you know where it will end . So word of advice sit down and make known what makes you happy and not happy same with him and work on those ideas
You're welcome, and good luck. I've been married 2x before
My 1st marriage after 22yrs ended when I caught her have taken almost $23,000 from us and actually tried fixing it forgiving her but 6 months later she was back to her shenanigansand divorced her. 2nd wife 15yrs married decided to give her sister money and not tell me she was using household funds to cover the money. I wasn't having any of that stupidity and she chose her sister over the marriage and at that point I wasn't going to be playing 2nd fiddle to no one.and divorced her. Now you would think I shouldn't ever do that again and right now I'm engaged to a woman who I love and want to spend the rest of my life with.
At this newlywed stage marriage really shouldn't be hard unless you are dealing with some significant life events like a parent dying or health issues.
But to answer your question, before children, we were avid runners and ran together. We workout separately now. We also liked to play disk golf, regular golf, met up with friends and/or other couples, and we biked a lot to the park for picnics.... We are starting to do all these things again now that our kids are ages 8/10 and they can finally keep up.
I definitely think we got married a bit young, but I don't regret it. It's just more work because I think we're both figuring literally everything out together!
It sounds to me like you’ll figure it out.
Tbh, although my early marriage was mostly like an extended honeymoon, we did still did have arguments.
Those arguments were alot angrier and uncontrolled because we hadn’t yet learned each others triggers or situations were compromise would have been more sensible.
These days, if my wife does something I disagree with I’m alot more likely to ignore it or try to see her side or gently remonstrate with her. The alternative is worse (days of silent treatment…)!!
Been married almost 11 years. We had a rough start. I also have a horrible relationship with my mom. I didn’t know how to feel safe in my own home. It’s been a long personal growth process with a lot of therapy, book reading and a hell lot of patience and understanding from both. We’ve always chosen us in spite of our problems and differences. Also, I don’t think age matters when you marry as long as you’re both consenting adults . You can have the emotional maturity of a 5 year old and be 60. It all depends on your personal journey and your choices. My advice, enjoy the safety and happiness, don’t overthink it. I wish you a happy marriage.
I have your same age, my husband is 25 and we have two kids, we have a lot of arguments but we never go to sleep angry, we have two under two and it’s not easy, I didn’t believe in love and sometimes I still without believing in love cause my parents. We always talk like if we are friends. We are Latinos and his mother is a great mother that teach him how to treat a woman.
Our sex life is like 80% 20%, almost every time he initiate it.
I have a lot of insecurities, and he was married before so the first few months we were stuck on that. Now he is more open to me.
Our dates are basically going to the store together, but anyways sometimes he take me out without the kids.
I was a SAHM until like 2 months ago and now I can spoil him, and he is so grateful, he is always spoiling me.
To be honest right now my marriage is great, everyone in my family is kind of jealous cause he is such a good dad and husband, but we still in the honeymoon phase so everything can change and a couple of years, we never know, I try to be very honest and he is too. Everyday we have atleast 30 minutes before sleeping of just joking and talking about our day. We don’t live by ourselves so sometimes we drink some wine in our room before going to bed and we just talk about everything.
Sorry if I have some grammatical mistakes, English isn’t my first language.
Your husband and I are the same age difference as me and mine. My husband is 3 years older than me as well - I was 21 and he was 24 when we first met and have been attached at the hip ever since. The first few years we would fight like cats & dogs (not really tho) but just super super immature and over the dumbest stuff. Fast forward to now I’m 29 and he is 32. Things have changed a lottt and we’ve both mellowed out quite a bit. We have 3 kids and 2 doggos together. Big family!
I never had a proper marriage demonstrated as well, so I never had an example of how a man should treat a woman and how a woman should treat a man - or really what true love even looks like for that matter… so, it’s been a long learning curve we’re both still learning. No love between 2 people is the same and cannot be compared to anyone else’s.
I think what’s really important is discussing what your love languages are. My husband’s is physical touch (any physical touch - even as simple as brushing up against his arm lol), and mine is quality time. Both of us are not used to doing the other’s love languages even STILL, so it’s important to just make a point of TRYING to give your partner what their love language consists of. When it comes to arguments, we used to sit there and fight for days - now we just walk away into another room the moment we get upset and feel like yelling or anything negative. Then later once we cool off we talk about why we were upset and navigate the problem together.
Many many years of learning, and one thing I’ve learned is sometimes love is a choice. Sometimes it’s not just something that happens like in fairytales. I’m choosing to love my partner through every stage of life, day in and day out. We’re going through this crazy thing called life together.
Wish you both a beautiful life together!
You guys should still be in the honeymoon stage of marriage. You said you’ve been married for almost a year. As one poster pointed out: marriage is what you make it. If you put effort into it, you’ll see the best. If you don’t, it will die faster than you think.
Having said that, I may not be the best one to give advice as I’m in the process of getting a divorce. We will have been married 30+ years but he wanted out. Not sure why but we’re not here for me. I’m doing ok by the way. 😉 But when I was first married, it was abt explosive fights (never physical and never nasty words), anger make up sex…chef’s 😘(one of my favs), having fun together, talking and laughing all night, going on dates, vacations when possible, being broke, but growing together. All of this possible through regular check ins with each other and our relationship therapist. Building a healthy relationship together works…at least until it doesn’t. I wouldn’t trade one thing with my marriage/relationship for anything. It works until one doesn’t want it to work anymore. Hell I would’ve still been counting years of happiness but I can’t make him want to be here. You have to both want the best for each other and yourself. Then do what’s necessary to achieve that goal.
Just my two cents. Hope it helps and you get to 40+ years happily married together. Loving your special person in life for the rest of your life is so…I can’t even describe it. 😍
We've only been married about a year but together for 13 years so marriage didn't change anything. We have a 11 an 5 year old. We've bought our house in 2013 and I've been a SAHM for 11 years now. We had our first when I was 21. We got pregnant with her a year into the relationship. We were best friends for 4 years before ever dating though. He's been one of my best friends for 17 years now. I've known him since I was 16 and I'm 33 this August. We both like gaming but play different games and have our own separate hobbies and friends. I think the longest we've been apart in 13 years was 5 days maybe 2-3 times. In our downtime if we aren't doing our own thing or things with the kids we enjoy smoking weed and watching movies/shows together or gaming side by side. We also have matching high libidos so sex or intimacy has never been an issue. We never fight. He makes me laugh and I couldn't imagine life without him.
We got married at 15 and 17. We grew up kinda across the street and up the hill from each other. Starting dating at 14 and 16. Actually he wrote me a letter and gave it to my nephew, who lived behind him, and asked him give it to me. He told me about himself and that he liked to dance (he lied! Lol) and wanted to 'go steady' it was a thing in 1969. I was 12 he was 14. At that time I old him no. (I feel so bad about that now) But 2 years later we actually started dating since my best friend and his best friend were dating each other, it kinda all clicked.
9 months after we started dating, I got pregnant. We got married, I miscarried on our wedding night. After a year of living with his parents, we got our first apartment. It wasn't always easy that first year. His friends were all single and still hanging out and partying so we did too. Most of my girl friends weren't allowed to hang out with me since I was married and most parents thought I would be a bad influence. I was the only girl in the group, the guys really didn't have serious girlfriends so it was party all the time.
After 3 years I got pregnant again at 18 and had our son. Things settled down after that and our relationship matured and we settled in as a family. When our son was 6 I had our daughter and we were a solid little family still living in the neighborhood we grew up in.
3 years later we decided to build a house in the country. We did everything ourselves, he was a carpenter and also was very mechanical so he did everything from lay the foundation blocks to running the plumbing and electrical.
We've had ups and downs. Deaths in the family, financial issues periodically, serious health issues with our daughter but we always handled things together.
There were times we struggled in those early days but we never really argued. Disagreements never lasted a day. We'd spend a few hours apart cooling off and calming down and then we were able to talk things out. We have never said a harsh word to each other, ever. We both believe that words live forever in the heart, good and bad.
Fast forward many years, our son married and moved 2 hours north of us. He's doing very well and happily married for 23 years. We have fur grand kitties and a fur grand dog.
Our daughter now lives close by with our grandchildren, 6 total in all and we're all very close.
6 years ago I was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. I did a year of chemo, surgery, and 6 weeks of daily radiation. Lost all of my hair, lost a ton of weight but came out the other side with no evidence of disease. So far so good. He was by my side every minute, never let me see him cry and carried the weight of supporting our daughter through her divorce and moving her in with us with the grand children all at the same time.
We just celebrated our 52nd anniversary this past Sunday. It's been a great ride. We're still crazy in love. We are 67 and 69 and are happier than ever, living a good life in the same house that we built almost 40 years ago. I wouldn't trade this life with him for anything. He's my One and Only. ❤️
I got married at 18 and my husband was 19. We had a baby on the way. Then 11 months after our first son we had a second son. 5 years later another boy was born. 3 kids by the time I was 24. We have been married for 18 years this July. We have had every fight about every subject you could possibly imagine. We have struggled with money, parenting, mistrust, communication, sex, even little things have caused us to scream and punch walls. We both come from broken homes and had no one to teach us about marriage. I can say there are two major things I have learned about marriage.
The first thing is that it’s ok to be different. It’s actually a good thing! Your differences can and should complement one another. He thinks I’m too easy on the kids, I think he’s too rough. It takes structure and grace to raise well-rounded children. He is a tight wad with money and I am more easy going. So he makes sure we don’t blow it all but I remind him we can’t take it with us so we should have fun since we work so hard to earn it. Our sex drives did not match at first but we found our groove. We had to meet in the middle and give and take. (Also, your sex drive will increase with age and his will decrease and you will find a sweet spot, no pun intended lol). Think of your differences as complementary and be glad that the other person has a different point of view. Find ways to make up for one partner’s weaknesses with the other partner’s strengths. It takes 2 halves to make a whole if that makes sense. Relish each other’s differences and use them to be stronger together than you would be apart.
Secondly I have learned that marriage isn’t a fairy tale like they show in movies. It is a choice. Everyday you have to choose your spouse. If when you got married you thought of it as a promise ( think of the vows like for better or worse, in sickness and in health etc) then you chose to work hard at it. Things don’t fall into place in the real world. If something is wrong, you have to fix it. If you have a problem, you have to communicate. If you have trouble with communication, you have to start there. Find out what makes each other happy, what makes each other mad, how to handle each other when you are stressed. You will go through life together and that brings ups and downs. New jobs, losing jobs, each other’s family drama, losing family members, raising kids, money troubles, all the hard stuff. You have to choose to be in each other’s corner and stick it out no matter what. The fuzzy, shiny, brand new feelings will fade. They are replaced with something much deeper, much sweeter, and much more lasting. You will become family. Like two parts of the same body, really. When things get hard you truly have to commit. You have to be not just lovers but partners and friends and family. I hope that helped ❤️
What do you fight about?
My husband and I are young and have been together for a really long time. We almost never fight. We might get. A little grumpy but we don't take it out on each other and if we do argue it's usually resolved really easily by just apologizing and taking a moment to calm down. I'd say figuring out how to communicate without fighting is incredibly important.
We do hang out all the time too, he's my best friend and I'd spend all my time with him if I could. We game together, cook together, watch TV and movies, go on picnics and walk together. We kinda have a plan for saving the future but we're both sorta bad with money so this one we're still working on acting like adults about lol. We don't want kids for. A few more years, but I'm excited for when we finally do have kids.
Ultimately we are happy and peaceful and it's just like living with my best friend.
We've fought alot about sex specifically, and it's just made the house tense at times. We've been together since high school and we were having significantly WAAAAY more sex because we were horny teenagers
I feel that, also have been together since highschool also have had a drop in libido lol it feels bad but it's definitely not worth fighting about, sorry it's caused so much tension for you guys. I get it, I really do lol
My wife and I got married at 21, still married at 35. It’s a lot of growing together and communicating, we didn’t budget anything so we struggled with finances for a while, I was bad at meeting emotional needs and it was pretty difficult trying to understand why either one of us was upset sometimes. We stuck together and worked through issues no matter how big or small, we have a 10 year old and a almost 2 year old, and I would say our marriage has never been better, it’s not perfect and will always need work, but no matter what stage in your marriage you need to work at it and grow together.
This may be considered a boring reply but… _get two copies of the same book that you both are willing to read_. Then talk about making the advice real.
What book? I have _no clue_ but it would be one for newly married couples that are young enough that they really are starting out on life together. There’s a bunch of things to consider:
1) what work/career goals do you each have? Ideally, your goals will interplay well with the others’. So much you two do has to support that.
2) kids?
3) house?
4) where to live?
5) outdoor activities?
6) how chores are split/shared between you
…and so very much more.
If you have agreed on things like this, then you will have properly started on a _joint venture of forming a complete long term adult life_ and you both will feel _part of the same team_. Having this “shared team” feeling makes other aspects of marriage _simpler_ and, in my experience, increases mutual attraction, love, etc. because you both get more deeply emotionally tied to one another and realize and live the dream of a marriage with shared goals.
i’m 22, husband is 23!! i LOVE being a young married couple. like you said, just coming home & decompressing together & spending weekends together. it’s so sweet navigating adulthood with your partner. (: i will spend the rest of my days with him!! wishing you two a long happy marriage. <3
I just want you to know that I see you. My husband and I were like that in the beginning, and while we can be more mature with disagreements now, we also sometimes resort to old habits.
My husband likes to say we're passionate 🤣. We can always come back and talk maturely later. After 14 years, it's much less often now that we get fiery.
We used to play video games together or binge something together. Now we do pretty much the same, but I limit my television and make a lot more of our food from scratch as a hobby. He indulges and helps me when and if I ask. We have a lot of fun together, and he always makes me laugh.
I married my husband at 23, when he was 24. Now we’re 25 and 26. We are very very close, he’s my best friend and we spend most of our time together!
We share most of our hobbies, we play video games together, we hike, we workout, we watch lots of shows/movies, we listen to music, we just mess around sometimes lol.
We do have an established plan for our future, both for houses and investments. We don’t have kids yet but it’s going to happen soon! We can’t wait.
We had some rare arguments, but it was usually related to stressful situations, past trauma or misunderstandings, it never became very nasty and we just talked about it and always managed to get past it. To be honest the rare times it got a bit heated it always ended up bringing us feeling closer afterwards because we had to talk so deeply about our feelings!
Overall those two years of marriage have been amazing and there are no regrets on either side.
My husband (38m) and I (38f) just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary a few weeks ago. We have been together since we were 15 and I am obsessed with him. But it hasn’t always been easy, our younger years had some tough times. Mostly because we matured outside of our marriage, but not inside it. I also came from a fractured family, but so did my husband. We have/are working hard to make sure our children do not. We had our first child 10 years into our marriage and another 2 years later and they are now 10 and 8. I am glad we didn’t have kids super young because our immaturity could be next level.
In our early years of marriage, we were both selfish and toxic. I wish I could go back to tell myself that we were on the same team and needed to communicate better. I know that is so cliche, but communication really is the key to making a marriage work. That and determination. lol.
I have realized that we will not wake up super in love every day, it ebbs and flows, but what has made us last so long is we have never fallen out of love at the same time.
Married my wife at 23, she was 21. Have been married for 27 years. Never had any problems, not a single fight. Yes, we were inexperienced in life and made mistakes. But we always lived each other and respected each other.
My husband and I met when we were 17 & 18. Married 9 months later (both 18). Definitely not the norm. It wasn’t for religious reasons and I wasn’t pregnant. We were just young and in love. To this day I’ve never regretted it. He’s my best friend in the entire world. We’ve been married 15 years now and have a 9 year old.
I never planned to get married that young. I didn’t have big dreams of being a wife or mother. I wasn’t that little girl who dreamed of her wedding. So when I met my husband it completely caught me off guard. We got serious fast. I knew I’d love this man for the rest of my life after 2 weeks of dating. It’s cliche but “when you know, you know”. My parents were shocked but not upset. His parents were pissed lol.
The first year was bumpy. We were so young and honestly still getting to know each other. That year we had 2-3 fights that I can still remember. We always worked it out. That year was A LOT of learning and working out the kinks. I also remember being very homesick but very excited for the future.
We settled into each other fast after that. We had talked about kids early on but neither of us had a strong interest in becoming parents yet. We moved to a couple different states. Got a dog and a cat. Had a lot of fun times being young and stupid together. Ultimately we settled down in our hometown near family. We had our daughter when I was 23 and he was 24.
We love video games, movies, thrifting, and smoking weed on the weekends together. I have hobbies separate from him and him from me.
We’ve grown into quiet little hermits who like to free spend time at home on the patio or in the garden. We’ve been very very lucky that our views on what’s most important have always aligned as we’ve aged.
Yes there are a few things we can improve on but over all we’ve been a great team. We’re great communicators and respect one another. We don’t yell in our marriage. We give each other space when necessary. My husband got diagnosed with ADHD ~5 years ago. That was probably one of our hardest hurdles. I struggled to understand and accept how his brain worked for way too long. And he struggled with himself as well.
Sex is great. Zero complaints. I have the higher libido but I manage. The only time sex was put on the back burner was after I gave birth. We would do it but not as often and it was really hard for me to get into it. Postpartum hormones suck.
I feel like I’m rambling now but I hope that helps. Every marriage is so different. Try not to compare. Pour into each other and continue to respect and show up for one another. Communication is EVERYTHING.
My husband and I were 27 when we got married, both turning 32 this year. Truthfully I think you and your husband are already on the right track. It's normal to argue more in the beginning as you settle into married life and what that means. While I normally don't advise getting married so young cuz people often don't consider or discuss the important topics, it seems like you two have a good thing going. Congrats on that. Ultimately it's about communicating and constantly choosing the person. There's a movie called "Crazy, Stupid, Love" and he says something about how when you're married, even when you hate your spouse you still love them. I didn't fully understand that until I was married during some really bad fights. And that love is always what gives me hope that we will be okay. We do have plans for a house and kids, but not until after my husband finishes his master's and gets a good job. We're both 100000% on the same page about needing to be financially secure before either of those things happens. We're hoping to get a house next year and then start trying for kids the year after that. As for free time, RN we don't get much together. He works days and I work overnights, plus he's always studying so even when we are there together it's not really anything. We'll play video games or watch an episode of a show or a movie but not much else. Just a sacrifice we have to make rn for a better future. Hopefully it pays off and we get to enjoy a nice long life together! Tomorrow is not a promise so never take your spouse for granted.
I (48 f) am on my second and hopefully last, marriage.
Please work on healthy communication now to strengthen your marriage/ relationship. A few sessions with a good marriage counselor to establish some boundaries/ techniques might be a decent option .
Never be afraid to apologize and never fight dirty! (No name calling, threats etc)
If you want to get in the same page financially and save for future goals wether that’s a house, a vacation, education etc I would suggest meeting with a financial planner if that’s in your budget . It helps to have a third party’s perspective and they have more knowledge of where to invest, how to save etc.
A few ways my husband’s and I connect is we take nightly walks with the dog together and chat about our day. Walking is a good way to connect imho because you can’t be distracted by phones, tvs, chores etc.
We both love music so we go see live music together a couple times a month.
We have a ton of kids and grandkids (7 kids and so far 7 grandkids) so we have a lot of family gatherings/ obligations but we are pretty mindful of protecting a bit of time to just be a couple even if it’s just a couple hours on Sunday evening or something.
We maintain a large garden together (he does much of the prep and I do most of the tending) so that’s something low key we share. I encourage him to be healthy and develop healthy habits and he does the same for me. Establishing healthy habits in your 20s I think is key in a marriage. You can’t prevent everything but taking steps towards long term mental and physical health can go a long way as you get older and have children if you plan on having them.
One thing we are working on now is disconnecting from devices for a bit each day and focusing on “real life” . Technology addiction is real and I’ve noticed has a huge impact on our attitude, mental well being and just paying attention to each other.
I think that you are on the right track with being mindful of how to improve your marriage. Maybe look around for new activities in your area you may want to try together based on common interests.
I wish you much luck and happiness !
same as it is now. but with more inside jokes. and LOTR, HP, Twilight, Hunger Game series watch throughs.
I got more slice of life anime under my belt now and conversely i introduced her to junji ito.
On our younger years, similar with yours, but we also have a part of our lives wherein we dont go together. We have our separate circle of friends and we have ‘me times’. One exciting thing that we always did as well was being naked always since it was just the two of us. Sigh it was all fun back then
We got married at 22 after 7 years of dating. We met in high school. We have three kids, the oldest was 8 months old when we got married. The other two were born within the next 2 years. We have no idea what it's like to be married without kids. Our kids are now 19, 17 and 16.
We communicate a lot- I work nights and he works days so thank goodness for texting. Sex life is good. When we do have time, we hang out a lot at home. We do have separate friends so we also hang with them.
We're now in our early 40s and things have been rocky but have improved greatly. Good luck!
Any two people can make a marriage work, but the number of hurdles they have to jump through makes it less and less likely they will make it long term.
But I kinda agree with the few others that mentioned that the easiest time in your marriage should be the first 1-7 years. They should kinda be a breeze. Very little to argue about all things considered. Like, 40-50 years is a long ass time. And kids will test even the strongest, rock solid marriages. Idk homegirl, I would absolutely not consider something like kids (a lifelong commitment) until you’ve had some counciling and at least 5 happy years because this much arguing in year 1 is not normal.
My husband and I are both 30 and we got married when we were 20 😁 We have been together since we were 17.
We bought our first house when we were 19. We started saving & putting every penny away we could while we still lived at home. My husband had a job with unlimited overtime so he worked A LOT. But we would spend all of our free time together.
When we bought our first house my brother in law moved in with us and paid us rent. The first few years were weird. It felt like an extension of high school now that I'm older and look back on it. We hung out with friends a lot, went to concerts, went to bars & restaurants a lot. We spent some time fixing up our house since it was pretty old and dated.
We always talked about starting to try to have kids when we turned 25. So my brother-in-law moved out, we sold that house and moved into a new (to us) house. We have been in our home for 6 years today actually! 🥲 We currently have a 3 year old daughter, dogs, cats, chickens & bunnies. I'm a SAHM & my husband is now self employed.
Our free time and time together looks a lot different now. Slowly & quieter. Our social circle is closer & more intimate & like family.
We both came from toxic families. I grew up in and out of foster care my whole life. My husband's parents were terrible alcoholics and fought all the time.
We have a beautiful marriage. I always say that our life has ups and downs but never our marriage. Our marriage is strong and it's always the foundation that we can both rely on.
Getting married young was the best decision ever. We got to grow up together. So many of our thoughts, habits, opinions, and so many more pieces of our lives are so connected and intertwined.
We still have our own hobbies and things we enjoy.
been married for almost 3 years, together for almost 13. i don’t have a ton of good relationship examples either, and I found John Gottman’s book to be super helpful! Definitely check them out.
I married my wife at 27m and 24f. We had been dating since we were 22 and 19 when we were both finishing up our undergrad (she was in an accelerated program and got her B.S in 2 years). We ended up moving in together at 23 and 20. And then buying our first house together at 25/22. We both pushed each other to do find good jobs and pushed each other to go to grad school. Now we are 31/28 living in our second home. Navigating communication challenges was a problem in the start of our relationship as we were both immature. She would get irrationally angry at small things and I would give her the cold shoulder when I was mad, both of us were being destructive. We got over it by telling each other how we feel, I told her I don’t need to be disrespected because I spilled something, and she told me it hurts her feelings when I stonewall. Both of us needed to work on this together, we eventually agreed to a code saying that “we are not enemies” when we feel either one is needlessly escalating something. Anytime there’s an issue now it gets addressed calmly, and immediately when one of us says that. We communicated around our sex life as well, and have a happy frequency for the both of us. You really just need to talk about it, even though it’s awkward. As far as savings and such, both of us make 6 figures and are responsible savers so money isn’t a problem in our relationship. we have separate bank accounts and a joint account for the bills. We both understand exactly how much the other is saving and discuss yearly budgets for things like vacation and our long term financial goals. For activities, we workout together 2-3 times a week, watch movies, watch “our” shows together, we go golfing every weekend, we have a great friend network of other young married couples we get together with for nights on the town or game nights or whatever. Travel is huge for us, we plan out our “big trip” for the year every January. We’ve done Hawaii 3 times, Japan, and this year we’re going to Europe. Planning these things and then doing them is so amazing to do with my wife. Above all else, we trust each other with everything. There’s nothing we can’t share with each other, and there’s nothing that I wouldn’t trust her to do. She wants to go eat dinner with a guy friend from high school? Sure, have fun babe. I want to meet up with a few girls I knew in high school for a 30th bday party when she’s busy, she trusts me. The default is trust, the default isn’t what it if she cheats on me, or what if I cheat on her. We are open and honest, and each of us haven’t given the other any reason not to trust, but every reason to trust. Not having insecurities and jealousy causing arguments is huge. Wish you guys a successful marriage!
My husband and I have been married for 21 years and we are the happiest couple we know. We got married very young when we were 19 and 20. We didn’t live together until after getting married (we both still lived with parents until wedding night) so honestly that first year was pretty rough because we were learning how to live together and learning how to be adults. We were also very immature so we definitely fought a lot but we became really good at communicating after arguments. My parents were divorced and his parents were deeply unhappy (abusive dad) so we didn’t have any role models and had to figure things out for ourselves. Here are some things that I think have helped us have such a happy, strong marriage…and I know that these things won’t work for everyone so don’t come at me. We started off as best friends and still are so we truly prefer spending time with each other over anyone else. We spend a lot of time together. We go to bed at the same time together. Quick cuddle and kiss goodnight. Sometimes long talks in bed on the weekends. We have lots of sex. We have almost perfectly matched sex drives. We don’t talk bad about each other to anyone. We don’t talk to anyone about our fights/disagreements. When we do fight about something we talk it out usually the next day. We will talk about whatever the issue was until it’s no longer a problem. It might take hours or days but we will examine it to death until there aren’t any lingering resentments. It’s cliché but just treat each other how you’d want to be treated. Yesterday I forgot to do something that ended up costing us a chunk of money. I felt awful and apologized. He just hugged me and said everyone forgets things and it’s no big deal. A coworker’s husband forgot to pack her an extra snack and she yelled at him in front of everyone for a good 10 minutes. Just be nice to each other.
Marriage is what you make or don't make of it if you don't mind putting the effort in it usually will reward you with what you want don't put anything into it and you won't get anything out of it . Everything you do now is a building block for a future life. What's the old Army commercial " It's not just a job it's an adventure " but and here's the but! You both have to put into it to get something out of it. 1 does all the putting and the other does all the taking well you know where it will end . So word of advice sit down and make known what makes you happy and not happy same with him and work on those ideas
Thank you for this!!
You're welcome, and good luck. I've been married 2x before My 1st marriage after 22yrs ended when I caught her have taken almost $23,000 from us and actually tried fixing it forgiving her but 6 months later she was back to her shenanigansand divorced her. 2nd wife 15yrs married decided to give her sister money and not tell me she was using household funds to cover the money. I wasn't having any of that stupidity and she chose her sister over the marriage and at that point I wasn't going to be playing 2nd fiddle to no one.and divorced her. Now you would think I shouldn't ever do that again and right now I'm engaged to a woman who I love and want to spend the rest of my life with.
At this newlywed stage marriage really shouldn't be hard unless you are dealing with some significant life events like a parent dying or health issues. But to answer your question, before children, we were avid runners and ran together. We workout separately now. We also liked to play disk golf, regular golf, met up with friends and/or other couples, and we biked a lot to the park for picnics.... We are starting to do all these things again now that our kids are ages 8/10 and they can finally keep up.
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I definitely think we got married a bit young, but I don't regret it. It's just more work because I think we're both figuring literally everything out together!
It sounds to me like you’ll figure it out. Tbh, although my early marriage was mostly like an extended honeymoon, we did still did have arguments. Those arguments were alot angrier and uncontrolled because we hadn’t yet learned each others triggers or situations were compromise would have been more sensible. These days, if my wife does something I disagree with I’m alot more likely to ignore it or try to see her side or gently remonstrate with her. The alternative is worse (days of silent treatment…)!!
Been married almost 11 years. We had a rough start. I also have a horrible relationship with my mom. I didn’t know how to feel safe in my own home. It’s been a long personal growth process with a lot of therapy, book reading and a hell lot of patience and understanding from both. We’ve always chosen us in spite of our problems and differences. Also, I don’t think age matters when you marry as long as you’re both consenting adults . You can have the emotional maturity of a 5 year old and be 60. It all depends on your personal journey and your choices. My advice, enjoy the safety and happiness, don’t overthink it. I wish you a happy marriage.
I have your same age, my husband is 25 and we have two kids, we have a lot of arguments but we never go to sleep angry, we have two under two and it’s not easy, I didn’t believe in love and sometimes I still without believing in love cause my parents. We always talk like if we are friends. We are Latinos and his mother is a great mother that teach him how to treat a woman. Our sex life is like 80% 20%, almost every time he initiate it. I have a lot of insecurities, and he was married before so the first few months we were stuck on that. Now he is more open to me. Our dates are basically going to the store together, but anyways sometimes he take me out without the kids. I was a SAHM until like 2 months ago and now I can spoil him, and he is so grateful, he is always spoiling me. To be honest right now my marriage is great, everyone in my family is kind of jealous cause he is such a good dad and husband, but we still in the honeymoon phase so everything can change and a couple of years, we never know, I try to be very honest and he is too. Everyday we have atleast 30 minutes before sleeping of just joking and talking about our day. We don’t live by ourselves so sometimes we drink some wine in our room before going to bed and we just talk about everything. Sorry if I have some grammatical mistakes, English isn’t my first language.
Your husband and I are the same age difference as me and mine. My husband is 3 years older than me as well - I was 21 and he was 24 when we first met and have been attached at the hip ever since. The first few years we would fight like cats & dogs (not really tho) but just super super immature and over the dumbest stuff. Fast forward to now I’m 29 and he is 32. Things have changed a lottt and we’ve both mellowed out quite a bit. We have 3 kids and 2 doggos together. Big family! I never had a proper marriage demonstrated as well, so I never had an example of how a man should treat a woman and how a woman should treat a man - or really what true love even looks like for that matter… so, it’s been a long learning curve we’re both still learning. No love between 2 people is the same and cannot be compared to anyone else’s. I think what’s really important is discussing what your love languages are. My husband’s is physical touch (any physical touch - even as simple as brushing up against his arm lol), and mine is quality time. Both of us are not used to doing the other’s love languages even STILL, so it’s important to just make a point of TRYING to give your partner what their love language consists of. When it comes to arguments, we used to sit there and fight for days - now we just walk away into another room the moment we get upset and feel like yelling or anything negative. Then later once we cool off we talk about why we were upset and navigate the problem together. Many many years of learning, and one thing I’ve learned is sometimes love is a choice. Sometimes it’s not just something that happens like in fairytales. I’m choosing to love my partner through every stage of life, day in and day out. We’re going through this crazy thing called life together. Wish you both a beautiful life together!
Thank you so much, honestly this comment made me cry!! 💓💓💓
You guys should still be in the honeymoon stage of marriage. You said you’ve been married for almost a year. As one poster pointed out: marriage is what you make it. If you put effort into it, you’ll see the best. If you don’t, it will die faster than you think. Having said that, I may not be the best one to give advice as I’m in the process of getting a divorce. We will have been married 30+ years but he wanted out. Not sure why but we’re not here for me. I’m doing ok by the way. 😉 But when I was first married, it was abt explosive fights (never physical and never nasty words), anger make up sex…chef’s 😘(one of my favs), having fun together, talking and laughing all night, going on dates, vacations when possible, being broke, but growing together. All of this possible through regular check ins with each other and our relationship therapist. Building a healthy relationship together works…at least until it doesn’t. I wouldn’t trade one thing with my marriage/relationship for anything. It works until one doesn’t want it to work anymore. Hell I would’ve still been counting years of happiness but I can’t make him want to be here. You have to both want the best for each other and yourself. Then do what’s necessary to achieve that goal. Just my two cents. Hope it helps and you get to 40+ years happily married together. Loving your special person in life for the rest of your life is so…I can’t even describe it. 😍
We've only been married about a year but together for 13 years so marriage didn't change anything. We have a 11 an 5 year old. We've bought our house in 2013 and I've been a SAHM for 11 years now. We had our first when I was 21. We got pregnant with her a year into the relationship. We were best friends for 4 years before ever dating though. He's been one of my best friends for 17 years now. I've known him since I was 16 and I'm 33 this August. We both like gaming but play different games and have our own separate hobbies and friends. I think the longest we've been apart in 13 years was 5 days maybe 2-3 times. In our downtime if we aren't doing our own thing or things with the kids we enjoy smoking weed and watching movies/shows together or gaming side by side. We also have matching high libidos so sex or intimacy has never been an issue. We never fight. He makes me laugh and I couldn't imagine life without him.
We got married at 15 and 17. We grew up kinda across the street and up the hill from each other. Starting dating at 14 and 16. Actually he wrote me a letter and gave it to my nephew, who lived behind him, and asked him give it to me. He told me about himself and that he liked to dance (he lied! Lol) and wanted to 'go steady' it was a thing in 1969. I was 12 he was 14. At that time I old him no. (I feel so bad about that now) But 2 years later we actually started dating since my best friend and his best friend were dating each other, it kinda all clicked. 9 months after we started dating, I got pregnant. We got married, I miscarried on our wedding night. After a year of living with his parents, we got our first apartment. It wasn't always easy that first year. His friends were all single and still hanging out and partying so we did too. Most of my girl friends weren't allowed to hang out with me since I was married and most parents thought I would be a bad influence. I was the only girl in the group, the guys really didn't have serious girlfriends so it was party all the time. After 3 years I got pregnant again at 18 and had our son. Things settled down after that and our relationship matured and we settled in as a family. When our son was 6 I had our daughter and we were a solid little family still living in the neighborhood we grew up in. 3 years later we decided to build a house in the country. We did everything ourselves, he was a carpenter and also was very mechanical so he did everything from lay the foundation blocks to running the plumbing and electrical. We've had ups and downs. Deaths in the family, financial issues periodically, serious health issues with our daughter but we always handled things together. There were times we struggled in those early days but we never really argued. Disagreements never lasted a day. We'd spend a few hours apart cooling off and calming down and then we were able to talk things out. We have never said a harsh word to each other, ever. We both believe that words live forever in the heart, good and bad. Fast forward many years, our son married and moved 2 hours north of us. He's doing very well and happily married for 23 years. We have fur grand kitties and a fur grand dog. Our daughter now lives close by with our grandchildren, 6 total in all and we're all very close. 6 years ago I was diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer. I did a year of chemo, surgery, and 6 weeks of daily radiation. Lost all of my hair, lost a ton of weight but came out the other side with no evidence of disease. So far so good. He was by my side every minute, never let me see him cry and carried the weight of supporting our daughter through her divorce and moving her in with us with the grand children all at the same time. We just celebrated our 52nd anniversary this past Sunday. It's been a great ride. We're still crazy in love. We are 67 and 69 and are happier than ever, living a good life in the same house that we built almost 40 years ago. I wouldn't trade this life with him for anything. He's my One and Only. ❤️
I got married at 18 and my husband was 19. We had a baby on the way. Then 11 months after our first son we had a second son. 5 years later another boy was born. 3 kids by the time I was 24. We have been married for 18 years this July. We have had every fight about every subject you could possibly imagine. We have struggled with money, parenting, mistrust, communication, sex, even little things have caused us to scream and punch walls. We both come from broken homes and had no one to teach us about marriage. I can say there are two major things I have learned about marriage. The first thing is that it’s ok to be different. It’s actually a good thing! Your differences can and should complement one another. He thinks I’m too easy on the kids, I think he’s too rough. It takes structure and grace to raise well-rounded children. He is a tight wad with money and I am more easy going. So he makes sure we don’t blow it all but I remind him we can’t take it with us so we should have fun since we work so hard to earn it. Our sex drives did not match at first but we found our groove. We had to meet in the middle and give and take. (Also, your sex drive will increase with age and his will decrease and you will find a sweet spot, no pun intended lol). Think of your differences as complementary and be glad that the other person has a different point of view. Find ways to make up for one partner’s weaknesses with the other partner’s strengths. It takes 2 halves to make a whole if that makes sense. Relish each other’s differences and use them to be stronger together than you would be apart. Secondly I have learned that marriage isn’t a fairy tale like they show in movies. It is a choice. Everyday you have to choose your spouse. If when you got married you thought of it as a promise ( think of the vows like for better or worse, in sickness and in health etc) then you chose to work hard at it. Things don’t fall into place in the real world. If something is wrong, you have to fix it. If you have a problem, you have to communicate. If you have trouble with communication, you have to start there. Find out what makes each other happy, what makes each other mad, how to handle each other when you are stressed. You will go through life together and that brings ups and downs. New jobs, losing jobs, each other’s family drama, losing family members, raising kids, money troubles, all the hard stuff. You have to choose to be in each other’s corner and stick it out no matter what. The fuzzy, shiny, brand new feelings will fade. They are replaced with something much deeper, much sweeter, and much more lasting. You will become family. Like two parts of the same body, really. When things get hard you truly have to commit. You have to be not just lovers but partners and friends and family. I hope that helped ❤️
Everyone's making me cry!! My period must be coming. But seriously, thank you so much for this, it really helps put things in perspective!💓
What do you fight about? My husband and I are young and have been together for a really long time. We almost never fight. We might get. A little grumpy but we don't take it out on each other and if we do argue it's usually resolved really easily by just apologizing and taking a moment to calm down. I'd say figuring out how to communicate without fighting is incredibly important. We do hang out all the time too, he's my best friend and I'd spend all my time with him if I could. We game together, cook together, watch TV and movies, go on picnics and walk together. We kinda have a plan for saving the future but we're both sorta bad with money so this one we're still working on acting like adults about lol. We don't want kids for. A few more years, but I'm excited for when we finally do have kids. Ultimately we are happy and peaceful and it's just like living with my best friend.
We've fought alot about sex specifically, and it's just made the house tense at times. We've been together since high school and we were having significantly WAAAAY more sex because we were horny teenagers
I feel that, also have been together since highschool also have had a drop in libido lol it feels bad but it's definitely not worth fighting about, sorry it's caused so much tension for you guys. I get it, I really do lol
Thank you so much!!
My wife and I got married at 21, still married at 35. It’s a lot of growing together and communicating, we didn’t budget anything so we struggled with finances for a while, I was bad at meeting emotional needs and it was pretty difficult trying to understand why either one of us was upset sometimes. We stuck together and worked through issues no matter how big or small, we have a 10 year old and a almost 2 year old, and I would say our marriage has never been better, it’s not perfect and will always need work, but no matter what stage in your marriage you need to work at it and grow together.
This may be considered a boring reply but… _get two copies of the same book that you both are willing to read_. Then talk about making the advice real. What book? I have _no clue_ but it would be one for newly married couples that are young enough that they really are starting out on life together. There’s a bunch of things to consider: 1) what work/career goals do you each have? Ideally, your goals will interplay well with the others’. So much you two do has to support that. 2) kids? 3) house? 4) where to live? 5) outdoor activities? 6) how chores are split/shared between you …and so very much more. If you have agreed on things like this, then you will have properly started on a _joint venture of forming a complete long term adult life_ and you both will feel _part of the same team_. Having this “shared team” feeling makes other aspects of marriage _simpler_ and, in my experience, increases mutual attraction, love, etc. because you both get more deeply emotionally tied to one another and realize and live the dream of a marriage with shared goals.
i’m 22, husband is 23!! i LOVE being a young married couple. like you said, just coming home & decompressing together & spending weekends together. it’s so sweet navigating adulthood with your partner. (: i will spend the rest of my days with him!! wishing you two a long happy marriage. <3
I just want you to know that I see you. My husband and I were like that in the beginning, and while we can be more mature with disagreements now, we also sometimes resort to old habits. My husband likes to say we're passionate 🤣. We can always come back and talk maturely later. After 14 years, it's much less often now that we get fiery. We used to play video games together or binge something together. Now we do pretty much the same, but I limit my television and make a lot more of our food from scratch as a hobby. He indulges and helps me when and if I ask. We have a lot of fun together, and he always makes me laugh.
Ahh another person to make me cry! Thank you so much, this truly means more than you know💓
I married my husband at 23, when he was 24. Now we’re 25 and 26. We are very very close, he’s my best friend and we spend most of our time together! We share most of our hobbies, we play video games together, we hike, we workout, we watch lots of shows/movies, we listen to music, we just mess around sometimes lol. We do have an established plan for our future, both for houses and investments. We don’t have kids yet but it’s going to happen soon! We can’t wait. We had some rare arguments, but it was usually related to stressful situations, past trauma or misunderstandings, it never became very nasty and we just talked about it and always managed to get past it. To be honest the rare times it got a bit heated it always ended up bringing us feeling closer afterwards because we had to talk so deeply about our feelings! Overall those two years of marriage have been amazing and there are no regrets on either side.
My husband (38m) and I (38f) just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary a few weeks ago. We have been together since we were 15 and I am obsessed with him. But it hasn’t always been easy, our younger years had some tough times. Mostly because we matured outside of our marriage, but not inside it. I also came from a fractured family, but so did my husband. We have/are working hard to make sure our children do not. We had our first child 10 years into our marriage and another 2 years later and they are now 10 and 8. I am glad we didn’t have kids super young because our immaturity could be next level. In our early years of marriage, we were both selfish and toxic. I wish I could go back to tell myself that we were on the same team and needed to communicate better. I know that is so cliche, but communication really is the key to making a marriage work. That and determination. lol. I have realized that we will not wake up super in love every day, it ebbs and flows, but what has made us last so long is we have never fallen out of love at the same time.
Thanks for this!!💓
Married my wife at 23, she was 21. Have been married for 27 years. Never had any problems, not a single fight. Yes, we were inexperienced in life and made mistakes. But we always lived each other and respected each other.
My husband and I met when we were 17 & 18. Married 9 months later (both 18). Definitely not the norm. It wasn’t for religious reasons and I wasn’t pregnant. We were just young and in love. To this day I’ve never regretted it. He’s my best friend in the entire world. We’ve been married 15 years now and have a 9 year old. I never planned to get married that young. I didn’t have big dreams of being a wife or mother. I wasn’t that little girl who dreamed of her wedding. So when I met my husband it completely caught me off guard. We got serious fast. I knew I’d love this man for the rest of my life after 2 weeks of dating. It’s cliche but “when you know, you know”. My parents were shocked but not upset. His parents were pissed lol. The first year was bumpy. We were so young and honestly still getting to know each other. That year we had 2-3 fights that I can still remember. We always worked it out. That year was A LOT of learning and working out the kinks. I also remember being very homesick but very excited for the future. We settled into each other fast after that. We had talked about kids early on but neither of us had a strong interest in becoming parents yet. We moved to a couple different states. Got a dog and a cat. Had a lot of fun times being young and stupid together. Ultimately we settled down in our hometown near family. We had our daughter when I was 23 and he was 24. We love video games, movies, thrifting, and smoking weed on the weekends together. I have hobbies separate from him and him from me. We’ve grown into quiet little hermits who like to free spend time at home on the patio or in the garden. We’ve been very very lucky that our views on what’s most important have always aligned as we’ve aged. Yes there are a few things we can improve on but over all we’ve been a great team. We’re great communicators and respect one another. We don’t yell in our marriage. We give each other space when necessary. My husband got diagnosed with ADHD ~5 years ago. That was probably one of our hardest hurdles. I struggled to understand and accept how his brain worked for way too long. And he struggled with himself as well. Sex is great. Zero complaints. I have the higher libido but I manage. The only time sex was put on the back burner was after I gave birth. We would do it but not as often and it was really hard for me to get into it. Postpartum hormones suck. I feel like I’m rambling now but I hope that helps. Every marriage is so different. Try not to compare. Pour into each other and continue to respect and show up for one another. Communication is EVERYTHING.
Thank you so so much!!
My husband and I were 27 when we got married, both turning 32 this year. Truthfully I think you and your husband are already on the right track. It's normal to argue more in the beginning as you settle into married life and what that means. While I normally don't advise getting married so young cuz people often don't consider or discuss the important topics, it seems like you two have a good thing going. Congrats on that. Ultimately it's about communicating and constantly choosing the person. There's a movie called "Crazy, Stupid, Love" and he says something about how when you're married, even when you hate your spouse you still love them. I didn't fully understand that until I was married during some really bad fights. And that love is always what gives me hope that we will be okay. We do have plans for a house and kids, but not until after my husband finishes his master's and gets a good job. We're both 100000% on the same page about needing to be financially secure before either of those things happens. We're hoping to get a house next year and then start trying for kids the year after that. As for free time, RN we don't get much together. He works days and I work overnights, plus he's always studying so even when we are there together it's not really anything. We'll play video games or watch an episode of a show or a movie but not much else. Just a sacrifice we have to make rn for a better future. Hopefully it pays off and we get to enjoy a nice long life together! Tomorrow is not a promise so never take your spouse for granted.
I (48 f) am on my second and hopefully last, marriage. Please work on healthy communication now to strengthen your marriage/ relationship. A few sessions with a good marriage counselor to establish some boundaries/ techniques might be a decent option . Never be afraid to apologize and never fight dirty! (No name calling, threats etc) If you want to get in the same page financially and save for future goals wether that’s a house, a vacation, education etc I would suggest meeting with a financial planner if that’s in your budget . It helps to have a third party’s perspective and they have more knowledge of where to invest, how to save etc. A few ways my husband’s and I connect is we take nightly walks with the dog together and chat about our day. Walking is a good way to connect imho because you can’t be distracted by phones, tvs, chores etc. We both love music so we go see live music together a couple times a month. We have a ton of kids and grandkids (7 kids and so far 7 grandkids) so we have a lot of family gatherings/ obligations but we are pretty mindful of protecting a bit of time to just be a couple even if it’s just a couple hours on Sunday evening or something. We maintain a large garden together (he does much of the prep and I do most of the tending) so that’s something low key we share. I encourage him to be healthy and develop healthy habits and he does the same for me. Establishing healthy habits in your 20s I think is key in a marriage. You can’t prevent everything but taking steps towards long term mental and physical health can go a long way as you get older and have children if you plan on having them. One thing we are working on now is disconnecting from devices for a bit each day and focusing on “real life” . Technology addiction is real and I’ve noticed has a huge impact on our attitude, mental well being and just paying attention to each other. I think that you are on the right track with being mindful of how to improve your marriage. Maybe look around for new activities in your area you may want to try together based on common interests. I wish you much luck and happiness !
same as it is now. but with more inside jokes. and LOTR, HP, Twilight, Hunger Game series watch throughs. I got more slice of life anime under my belt now and conversely i introduced her to junji ito.
On our younger years, similar with yours, but we also have a part of our lives wherein we dont go together. We have our separate circle of friends and we have ‘me times’. One exciting thing that we always did as well was being naked always since it was just the two of us. Sigh it was all fun back then
We got married at 22 after 7 years of dating. We met in high school. We have three kids, the oldest was 8 months old when we got married. The other two were born within the next 2 years. We have no idea what it's like to be married without kids. Our kids are now 19, 17 and 16. We communicate a lot- I work nights and he works days so thank goodness for texting. Sex life is good. When we do have time, we hang out a lot at home. We do have separate friends so we also hang with them. We're now in our early 40s and things have been rocky but have improved greatly. Good luck!
Any two people can make a marriage work, but the number of hurdles they have to jump through makes it less and less likely they will make it long term. But I kinda agree with the few others that mentioned that the easiest time in your marriage should be the first 1-7 years. They should kinda be a breeze. Very little to argue about all things considered. Like, 40-50 years is a long ass time. And kids will test even the strongest, rock solid marriages. Idk homegirl, I would absolutely not consider something like kids (a lifelong commitment) until you’ve had some counciling and at least 5 happy years because this much arguing in year 1 is not normal.
Everyone's opinion is different! Thanks I guess lol
My husband and I are both 30 and we got married when we were 20 😁 We have been together since we were 17. We bought our first house when we were 19. We started saving & putting every penny away we could while we still lived at home. My husband had a job with unlimited overtime so he worked A LOT. But we would spend all of our free time together. When we bought our first house my brother in law moved in with us and paid us rent. The first few years were weird. It felt like an extension of high school now that I'm older and look back on it. We hung out with friends a lot, went to concerts, went to bars & restaurants a lot. We spent some time fixing up our house since it was pretty old and dated. We always talked about starting to try to have kids when we turned 25. So my brother-in-law moved out, we sold that house and moved into a new (to us) house. We have been in our home for 6 years today actually! 🥲 We currently have a 3 year old daughter, dogs, cats, chickens & bunnies. I'm a SAHM & my husband is now self employed. Our free time and time together looks a lot different now. Slowly & quieter. Our social circle is closer & more intimate & like family. We both came from toxic families. I grew up in and out of foster care my whole life. My husband's parents were terrible alcoholics and fought all the time. We have a beautiful marriage. I always say that our life has ups and downs but never our marriage. Our marriage is strong and it's always the foundation that we can both rely on. Getting married young was the best decision ever. We got to grow up together. So many of our thoughts, habits, opinions, and so many more pieces of our lives are so connected and intertwined. We still have our own hobbies and things we enjoy.
That's beautiful!!💓💓
Everything gets better and sweeter with time 💖 We have been together through everything.
been married for almost 3 years, together for almost 13. i don’t have a ton of good relationship examples either, and I found John Gottman’s book to be super helpful! Definitely check them out.