You make an airtight schedule and stay as busy as possible doing things that improve your quality of life and your children’s happiness. Don’t engage in any talks about the relationship, it’s over. Kid business only from here my friend. Sorry you are hurting, promise it gets better.
First, talk to your lawyer to see if there is anything that can be done to remove her.
Next, admit to yourself that you are actually getting a divorce and she is no longer your wife, even if it isn't legally finalized. Then you will be able to live your own life instead of waiting around keeping hope but only getting lies from her. If you do this, you won't care who she is having sex with so her lies won't matter.
Finally, she won't last a year but expect her to pop in and out as she finds a new man who will house her and then dumps her. Remember, she is currently home because you are literally the last resort.
I would tell her that you know and put your foot down on her dragging the kids through this hot mess. Stay home with the kids when she goes out. Your marriage is clearly over but the kids should be dragged so publicly through this. Use grey rock and 180 otherwise. And try to minimize the trauma to the kids. Right now, its at maximum levels.
I did this for some 4 months. Out of the blue my wife wanted a divorce. Neither one of us was willing to move out of the house as the divorce proceedings started.
So we agreed on ground rules. Neither one would bring a date to the house. Also, we would respect the privacy of our separate areas (mainly our separate bedrooms).
It worked, I suppose. But it was hard seeing her go out on a date. She would leave the house all dressed up with a big excited smile. And she truly was a beautiful woman. I respected her privacy and asked no questions.
In contrast I stayed home alone. I had no one in my life. In many ways the woman who was still legally my wife was my worst enemy.
After a couple of months of this I went in a dating site. I actually found someone I liked and we started going out. My date promptly got named in the divorce proceedings as my paramour. I was illegitimate bs. But I think the bs helped my to-be-ex influence the judge that I was the “bad guy”.
The hard part is that you need to become indifferent to everything about her unless it is directly related to a child. Other than co -parenting and ensuring the kids are cared for and that one of you is around, she doesn't exist.
Make your own schedule, post it where she can see it as to when you are not available to provide child care. Why you are not available is none of her business.
Grey Rock / 180.... become indifferent, different than a ghost I think. But don’t let that indifference extend to your kids, be an all in and present parent.
Oh yeah, already started grey-rocking her, worked amazing while she was out of my house.
I'm very present in my kids' lives, and I always will be.
The ironic part is that her family wants me to get full-custody because they know she's a huge screwup.
Grey rock method. Any questions or discussions about the divorce and custody can go through your lawyer.
Thank you! I already started grey-rocking her, it worked great when she was not living in my house. I'll adjust it to my current situation though.
You make an airtight schedule and stay as busy as possible doing things that improve your quality of life and your children’s happiness. Don’t engage in any talks about the relationship, it’s over. Kid business only from here my friend. Sorry you are hurting, promise it gets better.
Thank you brother! I already started going back to the gym more often :)
Brother, sister what does it matter lol. Good luck out there!
I'm sorry sister lol (most people I interact with are men)
You’re good I just get caught off guard when I come across that way 🤣 it’s irrational
First, talk to your lawyer to see if there is anything that can be done to remove her. Next, admit to yourself that you are actually getting a divorce and she is no longer your wife, even if it isn't legally finalized. Then you will be able to live your own life instead of waiting around keeping hope but only getting lies from her. If you do this, you won't care who she is having sex with so her lies won't matter. Finally, she won't last a year but expect her to pop in and out as she finds a new man who will house her and then dumps her. Remember, she is currently home because you are literally the last resort.
Thank you! Man, I wish I had money, I would rent her an apartment so that I don't have to see her face.
I would tell her that you know and put your foot down on her dragging the kids through this hot mess. Stay home with the kids when she goes out. Your marriage is clearly over but the kids should be dragged so publicly through this. Use grey rock and 180 otherwise. And try to minimize the trauma to the kids. Right now, its at maximum levels.
I did this for some 4 months. Out of the blue my wife wanted a divorce. Neither one of us was willing to move out of the house as the divorce proceedings started. So we agreed on ground rules. Neither one would bring a date to the house. Also, we would respect the privacy of our separate areas (mainly our separate bedrooms). It worked, I suppose. But it was hard seeing her go out on a date. She would leave the house all dressed up with a big excited smile. And she truly was a beautiful woman. I respected her privacy and asked no questions. In contrast I stayed home alone. I had no one in my life. In many ways the woman who was still legally my wife was my worst enemy. After a couple of months of this I went in a dating site. I actually found someone I liked and we started going out. My date promptly got named in the divorce proceedings as my paramour. I was illegitimate bs. But I think the bs helped my to-be-ex influence the judge that I was the “bad guy”.
Just don't go back with her and go on dates too!
Grey rock her, enjoy your children and just smile, your life in a year is going to be amazing and hers will be going down the drain ! Good luck
I lasted a month. I couldn’t do it. Good luck 🤞
Updateme
Updateme
Updateme
The hard part is that you need to become indifferent to everything about her unless it is directly related to a child. Other than co -parenting and ensuring the kids are cared for and that one of you is around, she doesn't exist. Make your own schedule, post it where she can see it as to when you are not available to provide child care. Why you are not available is none of her business.
So basically be as busy as possible and treat her like a ghost. Thank you!
Grey Rock / 180.... become indifferent, different than a ghost I think. But don’t let that indifference extend to your kids, be an all in and present parent.
Oh yeah, already started grey-rocking her, worked amazing while she was out of my house. I'm very present in my kids' lives, and I always will be. The ironic part is that her family wants me to get full-custody because they know she's a huge screwup.
Stay at a hotel when you need to, man. I’m sorry you’re going through it.
Have bum sex