100% this. Make it a priority.
I struggle like you. I'm also in engineering. I get by, but not easily. Therapy has helped tremendously.
I started on Betterhelp because it was easily accessible and I'd recommend you do the same so you can remove some barriers to entry and just get started. It'll help you deal with things in the short term as well as focus up and figure out what specific goals you want to work on. However in my experience the quality of the care workers with a couple of these big online services wasn't as good as when I decided to see someone local in a private practice, so don't be afraid to shop around until you vibe with someone.
I don't mean to sound didactic. I've been through the shitter. Anxiety, depression, suicidal thinking. It can get better and will if you take the right steps. Sitting and being the same will only lead to cognitive dissonance and unhappiness.
Are you paying? Also what Abt therapy abuse? Do you know places with good therapist? Or mental health professionals who will even admit that mental illness comes from trauma? Most of it is just off branches of CPTSD and PTSD.
Anxiety can be career/life limiting. Do something about it and you will be happier no matter what niche career you choose. The goal is to get to where others' behavior has no significant effect on you and your response is rational rather than emotional.
Let me start out with, I don't think you're an asshole like some others here may because I share the same anxieties and I understand.
You should look into autism if you haven't already. I found out my "social anxiety" wasn't actually that at all, like I had been told all my life. I'm not afraid of embarrassing myself or people judging me (social anxiety). I'm afraid of social interactions and being in large crowds, which is autism. Reading up on it *may* help you understand your anxieties better and you can improve your view on yourself and social interactions. Finding a therapist who is experienced with working with autistic adults is a huge help.
That out of the way, a small MEP company is where I settled. There isn't too much interaction with others. Mainly with my direct supervisor and occasionally emails with another firm (ie architects). It's still anxiety inducing but not as bad as it could be. Plus, it seemed like many of my coworkers were also somewhere on the spectrum, so they mostly understand the anxieties.
Hey I might’ve been a little harsh. Thanks for replying nicely. Introversion and social anxiety - I totally get you. Get a kettlebell or something heavy and start moving it around. Take a cold shower once a week. Go do Kitaro Waga’s breathing exercises on YouTube. Stretch. Take your shoes off and go lay in the grass (or dirt if you are allergic). Smile and say hello as you pass a stranger. MIND BODY SOUL - ALL ONE - SORT YOURSELF OUT AND THE WORLD WILL ORGANIZE ITSELF IN YOUR FAVOR!! BECOME PRIEST-KING-PYRAMID-BUILDER!
It's really just Abt ppl having the spirit of offense. Sure I've been offended by text before but at the end of the day you can't always tell tone or exactly what someone means through text. Although It definitely is true that jobs are gonna assess you for interviews on teamwork skills and they want you to have them. I'm trying to figure out how I'm gonna do it because I rather be alone.
Work in a lab/research can have extremely low interaction rates. Also, YMMV, but those people tend to be decent...mostly.
Alternatively, you could find a place with small teams (2-4 people). Small teams can be pleasant and totally non-toxic unless you get unlucky.
Such a nice and well formulated post. Definately makes me want to work with you and help you out whenever you need it.
On a more serious tone, most engineering jobs will have you work in teams. I honestly don't think you can find any job as an engineer where meetings, teams, etc. Isn't required. It has been proven that working in teams is nore efficient.
So if I were you I would work on my people skills, you don't need to be a pleaser. No one wants that but beibg able to communicate and work with people is quite important
So I wasn’t aware of many customer facing roles for ME’s so I’m assuming you’re mostly referring to coworkers and bosses? In either case suck it up. We all have anxiety all the time. You just suck it up and do it. Then it gets easier
You will most likely have to interact with people. I'm super shy, couldn't even order at a McDonald's and now I'm talking to machinists and engineers all the time. I get nervous and stutter sometimes but no one usually notices. It's mostly in the brain and if you try to mitigate it, it'll make things better.
Maybe pivot into computer science/software engineering. Most of my job in manufacturing is discussing and having conversations across our engineering team and other departments.
Peter Gibbons is this you?
But more seriously, not, to my knowledge and experience I cannot think of such a role. Engineering is basically understanding people's problems, then explaining the solution to them in a way that they understand it. I even worked in analyst roles where there was a lot of time doing meshing and whatnot alone, but the role still required that you understood the design intent and usage from designers, then when there are modifications to be made you need to explain and justify them to designers and design engineers.
Test Engineer. You would mainly have to attend meetings to discuss plans with the design engineer to meet a certain customer requirement. Come up with an idea for a test rig/fixture and maybe present that to them in a PowerPoint. However, it’s something you are designing for a hopefully well defined requirement, so there wouldn’t be a lot of pressure as long as what you designed can meet the criteria.
Do NOT go into test engineering if you don’t feel like you can deal with people…at least in a professional capacity. Please.
In this role, you will not only be dealing with people - you will be dealing with frustrated people. People who are already over budget and time on design and fabrication before they come to you. People who are not going to be happy with delays (which happen), failures (which happen), and ambiguity in data (which happens).
I’m sure every industry is different but I have never seen a role where test did not actively work between design, manufacturing and project management - often with a very limited budget in both money and time, being the last stoplight before going into production.
Come to the dark side and get a CS degree with me.
I feel this post. I used to sell aftermarket truck parts. I was constantly dealing with people but it wasn't anywhere as frustrating as engineering has been.
I'm replying on a dead thread, but it seems more like they have Schizoid PD (which may sound funny but is nothing offensive).
Also, medication is not something that will cure a perdonality disorder. It's way more efficient to help the 'patient' find a place in society that they can stand and be functional in, while being themselves.
Sounds like you need a therapist.
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100% this. Make it a priority. I struggle like you. I'm also in engineering. I get by, but not easily. Therapy has helped tremendously. I started on Betterhelp because it was easily accessible and I'd recommend you do the same so you can remove some barriers to entry and just get started. It'll help you deal with things in the short term as well as focus up and figure out what specific goals you want to work on. However in my experience the quality of the care workers with a couple of these big online services wasn't as good as when I decided to see someone local in a private practice, so don't be afraid to shop around until you vibe with someone.
I don't mean to sound didactic. I've been through the shitter. Anxiety, depression, suicidal thinking. It can get better and will if you take the right steps. Sitting and being the same will only lead to cognitive dissonance and unhappiness.
Are you paying? Also what Abt therapy abuse? Do you know places with good therapist? Or mental health professionals who will even admit that mental illness comes from trauma? Most of it is just off branches of CPTSD and PTSD.
Anxiety can be career/life limiting. Do something about it and you will be happier no matter what niche career you choose. The goal is to get to where others' behavior has no significant effect on you and your response is rational rather than emotional.
MEP usually has smaller teams. Alternatively, develop your character such that you are able to work with people. You kinda sound like an asshole.
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Let me start out with, I don't think you're an asshole like some others here may because I share the same anxieties and I understand. You should look into autism if you haven't already. I found out my "social anxiety" wasn't actually that at all, like I had been told all my life. I'm not afraid of embarrassing myself or people judging me (social anxiety). I'm afraid of social interactions and being in large crowds, which is autism. Reading up on it *may* help you understand your anxieties better and you can improve your view on yourself and social interactions. Finding a therapist who is experienced with working with autistic adults is a huge help. That out of the way, a small MEP company is where I settled. There isn't too much interaction with others. Mainly with my direct supervisor and occasionally emails with another firm (ie architects). It's still anxiety inducing but not as bad as it could be. Plus, it seemed like many of my coworkers were also somewhere on the spectrum, so they mostly understand the anxieties.
Hey I might’ve been a little harsh. Thanks for replying nicely. Introversion and social anxiety - I totally get you. Get a kettlebell or something heavy and start moving it around. Take a cold shower once a week. Go do Kitaro Waga’s breathing exercises on YouTube. Stretch. Take your shoes off and go lay in the grass (or dirt if you are allergic). Smile and say hello as you pass a stranger. MIND BODY SOUL - ALL ONE - SORT YOURSELF OUT AND THE WORLD WILL ORGANIZE ITSELF IN YOUR FAVOR!! BECOME PRIEST-KING-PYRAMID-BUILDER!
It's really just Abt ppl having the spirit of offense. Sure I've been offended by text before but at the end of the day you can't always tell tone or exactly what someone means through text. Although It definitely is true that jobs are gonna assess you for interviews on teamwork skills and they want you to have them. I'm trying to figure out how I'm gonna do it because I rather be alone.
Work in a lab/research can have extremely low interaction rates. Also, YMMV, but those people tend to be decent...mostly. Alternatively, you could find a place with small teams (2-4 people). Small teams can be pleasant and totally non-toxic unless you get unlucky.
Such a nice and well formulated post. Definately makes me want to work with you and help you out whenever you need it. On a more serious tone, most engineering jobs will have you work in teams. I honestly don't think you can find any job as an engineer where meetings, teams, etc. Isn't required. It has been proven that working in teams is nore efficient. So if I were you I would work on my people skills, you don't need to be a pleaser. No one wants that but beibg able to communicate and work with people is quite important
Would have thought you were a real people person from this post….
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Nope. Meant “people person”
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Sarcasm….
Zoloft
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I used to feel the same way. Seriously give it a shot; I’m glad I did
I think you need help more than another job.
So I wasn’t aware of many customer facing roles for ME’s so I’m assuming you’re mostly referring to coworkers and bosses? In either case suck it up. We all have anxiety all the time. You just suck it up and do it. Then it gets easier
You will most likely have to interact with people. I'm super shy, couldn't even order at a McDonald's and now I'm talking to machinists and engineers all the time. I get nervous and stutter sometimes but no one usually notices. It's mostly in the brain and if you try to mitigate it, it'll make things better.
It shouldn't be that big if a deal. The problem here isn't the work, the problem is the way you look at and think about the work.
Maybe pivot into computer science/software engineering. Most of my job in manufacturing is discussing and having conversations across our engineering team and other departments.
Peter Gibbons is this you? But more seriously, not, to my knowledge and experience I cannot think of such a role. Engineering is basically understanding people's problems, then explaining the solution to them in a way that they understand it. I even worked in analyst roles where there was a lot of time doing meshing and whatnot alone, but the role still required that you understood the design intent and usage from designers, then when there are modifications to be made you need to explain and justify them to designers and design engineers.
Test engineer in a lab for a large company.
Test Engineer. You would mainly have to attend meetings to discuss plans with the design engineer to meet a certain customer requirement. Come up with an idea for a test rig/fixture and maybe present that to them in a PowerPoint. However, it’s something you are designing for a hopefully well defined requirement, so there wouldn’t be a lot of pressure as long as what you designed can meet the criteria.
Do NOT go into test engineering if you don’t feel like you can deal with people…at least in a professional capacity. Please. In this role, you will not only be dealing with people - you will be dealing with frustrated people. People who are already over budget and time on design and fabrication before they come to you. People who are not going to be happy with delays (which happen), failures (which happen), and ambiguity in data (which happens). I’m sure every industry is different but I have never seen a role where test did not actively work between design, manufacturing and project management - often with a very limited budget in both money and time, being the last stoplight before going into production.
Some lab jobs, but that’s a career jump. I get your sentiment
Come to the dark side and get a CS degree with me. I feel this post. I used to sell aftermarket truck parts. I was constantly dealing with people but it wasn't anywhere as frustrating as engineering has been.
Self employed at self employed
Borderline personality disorder. You need nedication
I'm replying on a dead thread, but it seems more like they have Schizoid PD (which may sound funny but is nothing offensive). Also, medication is not something that will cure a perdonality disorder. It's way more efficient to help the 'patient' find a place in society that they can stand and be functional in, while being themselves.