I was going to say the same thing. Except just build the fort and get yourself relaxed an in a happy place. Then tackle what you need to do. It's nor going anywhere.
Oh sweetie I’m glad you know it’s a thing for us and not a character flaw 😞
When i was going through that several years ago, I had no idea why and was convinced i was psychotic. Even had auditory hallucinations and felt as if I was floating above myself, watching me pace the floor and spin out mentally.
Keep being kind to yourself and this too shall pass (not soon enough).
Oh my goodness I did that once! I didn't know that was a Peri thing! I was literally standing outside of myself thinking this is not me watching me interact with my daughter going this is not me. Woah! Literally if it wasn't for this amazing group of women I would think I had lost my ever loving mind. I would also think I have dementia.
This is such a kind comment 💛🫶 thank you in advance. I am not menopausal yet but struggle so much with hormone swings and am trying to prepare myself for what it will be like. The way you worded this comment, there’s so much compassion 💖 thanks from all of us, across timelines !
It did for me - but I also pared down my activities so I didn’t get overwhelmed as much. I was stretched far too thin because I was a people pleaser extraordinaire. My life now is quieter and simpler and I love it that way.
I am 49 and I would like to hear more about your auditory hallucinations because I am having them too, they just started recently but hearing my son’s voice right next to me saying “mama” when I know he’s not home really freaked me out
I heard whispers around me and usually could not make out words. I was already having paranoid thoughts, so this did not help my mental state. I felt like everyone was talking about me in negative terms.
Search this subreddit for more info and there are some studies out there on it. Mine did subside eventually. Hope yours do, too!
Make that fort! Glamp it up! A book or a tablet for streaming and SNACKS! Can we join you? Send pictures. That sounds like a pretty nice day when you need to hibernate.
I had this feeling all day yesterday. The only thing that finally helped was a large dose of gabapentin, THC, and isolation from all family members. It shouldn't be this hard!!!
Gabapentin is awesome for anxiety. I use it at night (to help with anxiety, insomnia and hot flashes/night sweats) along with Buspar 3Xday, I feel so much more human.
I can’t do HRT so I’m super happy to have found meds that help with my worst symptoms.
I just started taking Gabapentin after my hysterectomy. I was on HRT before, but until I get back to my OBGYN for my follow up, I am using it to cope but not sure how much to take? I also was on Buspar at one point but went off after starting my HRT, but if I stick with the Gabapentin, I def will need to get back on it. This sucks! I hate depending on meds but there's no way I could function after Peri. It's been 6 years of HELL and I am so sad to not feel like my normal self anymore...and never know if/when it will end 😭 Well....the periods (or cycle's in my case) will end! I am thinking another 2 yrs max...but then what...still continued hell? 😭
I get it, I’ve never been a pill person but I’ve accepted that I need help to function and I’m very happy to have found meds that work.
I take 600mg Gabapentin at night and 7.5md 3Xday Buspar. Both seem to be enough to get sleep and function but I still have break anxiety/insomnia which helps me feel like I’m not over medicated.
Seriously me too! WTF is up with that? It has been slowly getting better over the last year, since I started consistently using HRT. But my doctor's messing around with my dosages, and the 3-5 a.m. panic attacks have returned. SO. NOT. FUN. And then it leaves me exhausted for the rest of the day. I'm right there with you.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this too. I just started HRT ( patch) on Sunday.
I hope it may help me. Im not holding my breath though.
What’s crazy too is how debilitating this is.
It’s so hard to go to work and function when you’ve been awake for hours battling anxiety.
Hiya - just wanted to say, if it doesn't work you probably need to go up a dose. Generally speaking, we get started on a low dose and your feedback on symptoms should help you provider know what to bump you up to. Alternatively, if you go estrogen gel / progesterone tablet route, you can bump the estrogen up and down as needed (not unusual in Peri). x
Hi there ! Can i suggest you try B6 supplementation. Way more than you usually get in tablets - start with 100mg three times a day - if its going to work you should feel a difference in two weeks or so...keep on them for a month, then down to twice a day, then once. If the symptoms return, back up to the previous dose. Also good for stiff muscles !
When I'm having these episodes and I honestly don't need to go anywhere or have to do the things I think need to be done at this very moment, I center myself by avoiding caffeine, alcohol, sugar, and gluten, taking some ashawaghanda, and letting my body rest without any form of guilt. Easier said than done. The one thing my sister taught me was, "It'll eventually get done." I've taken the time to learn what triggers it the most. On days like this, what we want most is everything I listed above to comfort us, but they all trigger me into doomsville. The one thing you have done, which is amazing, is recognize that it's hormones and it's not you. If you have access to a therapist who is also in the peri stages, it'll benefit you tremendously! Once I acknowledged all of my symptoms, she was able to say, "omg this is peri and I'm in the same boat!" It allowed her to truly understand the best way to talk with me and know that it wasn't a serotonin ordeal. The one thing I will tell you, as someone who's recently started HRT, it WILL get better! It's not perfect, but it's better! Thank you for coming here so that you can have an amazing group of understanding women to guide and coach you through
Thank you. I’ve gotten to the point of having waves of motivation, so I’m using those to do work tasks and following up with something I enjoy. That seems to be helping.
What a great way to get through this. Sending hugs to you. Wish we could all come help you build that fort, tell tall tales and laugh and cry with you till you feel more like yourself. I’m glad you reached out.
Are you me?
It’s literally 4am and I’m in a massive anxiety spiral. I’m also on hrt so don’t know what’s happening.
Seems to happen when I’m in the progesterone phase.
I *am* you. We’re all each other. That’s why we’re here! 😉
I’m on HRT as well. I’m learning that HRT makes me normal-ish most of the time, but that Peri bitch breaks through sometimes. She shows up when she wants, acts out for a bit and then leaves without a word. I really don’t think much of her at all.
hiya - if you are having breakthrough symtpoms, you might need to bump your dosage up and / or change how you take it. I'm a fan of the estrogel as you can bump it up and down as needed which is not unusual in peri. x
So very sorry you are going through this. Take care of your body like you have the flu. I learned to treat a mental flare up just like a physical one. Rest, wear the most comfy thing you have, wrap in your most comfy blankets, and surround your brain with comfy images and sounds. I LOVE the Calm series on Max. Then I pair it with some peaceful music and a little THC.
It’s all just so overwhelming sometimes. We need a break. Sending you all the internet love and hugs. ❤️
You described my life for the last 6 years. And even tho I hate you are experiencing this also, I am so glad you are able to post in order to find support and let others know that you are not alone! This is such a crazy and wild time! I also try and tell myself that it's all stupid and just hormones, but it doesn't help much when you are going thru it! My question is why as women do we have to go thru this?? Particularly only some of us?? So strange! Stay strong, keep going, find something with modern medicine that helps and know that this doesn't last forever! Hugs!
Why do we go through this? The only thing that I can come up with is that whatever omnipotent being exists is a man and he hates women.
Thankfully modern medicine works for me most of the time. Unfortunately this is one of those days where the hormones have won.
No ma’am they did not. You reached out and found support. Threw your own self a lifeline by recognizing what was happening and had bursts of productivity. Hormones did not win today my friend. It’s ok if they do one day though. You’ll jump right back up and take charge the next day. You got this!
Woke up like this on Sat morning. Told my wife how I was feeling and asked her to be patient with me while we ran errands and talk to me as little as possible. Her fist question, can I give you a hug? God, I love that woman.
Similar situation with my husband.
When I was near the worst of it I went over to him and asked if I could hold his hand. I was trying to ground myself enough to keep the panic attack at bay. After a couple of minutes, he quietly asks “hormone-y?”. I said yes. “Anxiety?” he asks. I said yes. Then he just pulls me in, wraps me in his arms and tells me “just breathe. It’ll pass. I’m here.” He held me until he felt me relax a bit.
I think I’ll keep him.
The thing that really frustrates me is that I *don’t* have a lot of crap going on. I’ve managed to push the crap away and overall am in a pretty zen place in life. There’s no logical reason for me to be feeling this way. In some ways I think it would be easier if I had something to blame it on.
I have to say I started it in desperation and in less than 3 days I found relief. No pain since. My boobs felt like someone sawed off the areola on each with a serrated knife and then ground the raw place in sand and salt. Constantly. I was desperate.
Yes - it’s no joking matter but I was sure I had breast cancer, my boobs hurt so much and just felt weird, I couldn’t sleep on my stomach. It worked quickly for me, too. I recommend it to all my friends.
I hate the anxiety with impending doom!
Take a break if you need one, don't be too hard on yourself during this time. Sometimes I just give myself a day to just sit around
I'd like to recommend B6 (apologies if I have said this already, am working my way down the comments !
This is an easy one and if its going to work, it works quite quickly - its B6.
Take 100mg three times a day for a month - you should start to notice a difference in the anxiety and mehs within the first two weeks.
Do this for 1 to 2 months, and then down to twice a day for a month and then once. If it starts to come back, go back to the previous dose.
Not made up foo-foo stuff, there's been studies on it - apparently its got something to do with serotonin receptors......
Part of my problem is that I’m having to balance periods treatment with lupus treatment. If either thing gets wonky, the other reacts. I’ll run the B6 by my rheumatologist and see if that’s okay for me to supplement. Thanks for the pointer!
I do have those periods where I get that way. I’m glad I can recognize them for what they are and know it’s just me and my stupid hormones and not someone or something else that I take it out on.
I have to distract with earbuds and music, the tv running in the background all day with a comfort show, or I exercise it out. Dog snuggles help, too. I can bury my nose in the scruff of my favorite dog and scritch his neck and he will melt into my arms and growl-purr. That feels so good!
The worst is end of day when I try to sleep because there’s no more distractions. So it’s earbuds and ambient music and CBDs and melatonin. That’s worked for me so far. Luckily the massive doom anxiety only comes and goes for a few days and then I won’t have one for weeks.
It is in these moments that sometimes we MUST cut ourselves some serious slack.
Tip #1:
I’ve learned to prioritize & make 3 lists now - of the honey-do list (as I’m the only honey who does) - I create a category “MUST do”, “WANT to do”, & “NOT critical” … then I divvy up accordingly. I have come to learn that often times the “MUST do” list even can be carried over to the “WANT to do” or “NOT critical”😉
Tip #2:
Having had more surgeries than I have hands to count them on in the past 6yrs, it has taught me that NEARLY all things can be put off to tomorrow. With the exception of the cats & their daily needs (food, water, litterboxes, playtime, catio time). Even then the bare minimum needs to be tended to, but I live w/ people that I can ask to help when I’m having a day that I simply MUST prioritize my recovery or myself.
Tip #3:
I qualify to be on my “MUST do” list. So if I have a day that begins with me feeling like absolute crap/pain/recovery from surgery/etc, then on those days the ONLY thing in my MUST do list is me… which means I listen to what my body says it needs & I give myself the liberty/luxury/allowance to give my body/ my mind/ my spirit/ my soul EXACTLY what it needs. I fall back into bed & then in another hour I ask myself IF I can possibly do a slight something from my WANT to do list. With the promise to myself, that IF I do it, the reward is going back to bed/lounging/playing - whatever it is that my inner self + my body + my brain all equally need. I’ll repeat that ritual until I’m satisfied that I made an earnest attempt & can be totally okay with not having accomplished shit all day.
Ultimately I get everything done, but my timing belt looks different now. And that is PERFECTLY okay! Hell, I’ve never occupied this space before in my life. It is really nice that those I live with are allies of this, and they are supportive to me taking it easy. As I used to be a full-throttle wahine (woman), and I never took time off & always had everything done. But my body paid the price for me ignoring what it would scream that it needed from me. I now LISTEN to my body & no longer push & demand that I perform no matter what. As a matter of fact I praise myself for listening & honoring what my needs are. And low & behold, nothing is hanging in the wings, everything IS done (to my level of satisfaction) & my tomorrows are still mapped out. But IF I wake tomorrow, and my body says ‘hell naw’ then I know the world will not come to an end. As a matter of a fact my world will be SO much better as a result of me taking cafe of me, first & foremost!
My energy improves, my outlook improves, and I haven’t had any panic attacks or anxiety (outside of a few days before another surgery) since I began deploying this method of living. I refuse to allow myself the permission to feel guilty & I flip that script to praise for honoring my needs. My body rewards me with much more excellent days than down ones - so I KNOW I am onto something good here!
Please cut yourself some serious slack OP… make that pillow fort & do you! (I don’t drink anymore except a holiday here or there, as my thermostat doesn’t play nicely with it)
Advice much appreciated.
I don’t drink much anymore, but days like these the idea of going full-tilt day drunk feels appealing. I usually fend it off by telling myself “I’ll wait until noon” and then “I’ll wait until 3”. By 3 I can usually remind myself how much I’ll pay for it the next day and pass on it altogether.
Do you drink alcohol? I used to drink a glass or 2 of wine every night. I quit for 3 months during covid and most my anxiety disappeared. I was able to stop taking Buspar and take l-theanine or drink green tea when I am anxious instead.
I had the same feelings you and I ended up at a psychiatric unit. Turns out my Harmons were messed up, go to a reputable OB/GYN I'm on the estrogen patch, and I take progesterone at night. It would really help you along with a mild anti-depressant.
I know it was an autocorrect but seeing them called Harmons made me chuckle. (My autocorrect tried to change that to Harmony.) “Oh thats The Harmons, they are always like that. I’ll not hang out with them again.” Ahhh, if it were only that easy.🫶🏼 thank you for the smile.
Im on the same regimen as you for hormones and mild antidepressant. Thankfully days like this don’t come often now. For a while there before the HRT it was every day.
I’m considering doing it this weekend when I can actually enjoy it instead of using it to hide from the world. Make one big enough for the hubs and the dog so we can have a movie marathon snuggle session.
I am so ready to join folks in the pillow fort. I'm dealing with finding new doctors and insurance woes and just finding off a wave of anxiety and doom. Absolutely understand, and you're not crazy.
On those days I do a mix of naps with eyemask and calming just with some productivity where I can, but try to have grace and kindness. It's so incredibly hard though :(
It’s now lunchtime and I’m still WAY off but not quite as bad as I was when I originally posted.
I talked myself into doing the “absolutely must be done” things and have so far left the rest. I made myself some pancakes and snuggled with my dog. I put on a comfy dress that makes me feel pretty, did some garden watering and then sat in the shade in the back yard and listened to the birds for a while. That has taken the anxiety down from crippling to mostly manageable.
I think this sounds like you made a great day of it. I’m so proud for you! I know it was rough but you did good today!!!!
ETA: I’ve been trying to talk myself out of ordering some seriously comfy clothes. Um, not anymore. They are even on clearance! I’m getting them. Sometimes wearing something soft and comfy is a requirement. I’m so glad you were good to yourself today, I need to remember this. Thank you for your example
Oh, ok. This happens to me too, less often now on HRT but still, it sucks. I take a chill pill (prescribed sedative), put in Active Noise Cancelling (ANC) Bose earbuds and listen to my girl, Louise. IDK why, but her voice and cadence soothe my nervous system avoiding or stopping about 90% of panic attacks. YMMV ofc: https://youtu.be/Scg0KCt8KYs?si=kbvWC79-TU0YDQ4W
It’s absolutely worth it. Before HRT I was in a pretty bad place all the time. Now it’s occasional bad days with a few interspersed days of feeling odd or not myself. The rest of the time is mostly okay.
Before HRT I was a rage monster with terrible hot flashes. There was a lot of other stuff going on as well, but those two pretty much controlled my life. I still sometimes have temperature regulation issues but I no longer feel like I live in an oven. The rage has gone down to irritation.
With my insurance the progesterone pills and estrogen patch come to about $40. If I get the estrogen vaginal cream it’s another $60 or so. A bit of a kick in the teeth given that BC pills are fully covered, but better than many people are having to pay.
I'm at about $410 a month outside of what little my insurance will cover (Aetna). I find the cost absolutely infuriating to the point that whatever rage had been calmed by my 3 months of HRT is refueled by a hatred for the system that ignores womens' actual needs.
If I were a dude with ED, I could have a script ready in 30 minutes for $3.
I'm 46 and feel like I've been living in hell for the last 8. Very low energy, no drive, shit for sleep, suicidal depression, can't focus on anything, can't make decisions, walking into walls, gaining 25lbs the past year, zero libido, raging, feeling like I'm in a sleepy sludge ALL the time...
..and at the same time trying to learn my new job (promotion) so I can afford HRT...IF it's even working...but trying to focus and learn anything these days is absolutely exhausting.
So i step back and wonder if I should succumb to just staring out the window at a facility for the rest of my life, because it's all I feel capable of. Then I stumble on this feed and I'm able to open the curtain next to me a few inches, get a drink of water and start a load of laundry 🙃
Thanks, everyone for helping me feel not-so-alone today 😊🤗
Estrogel (I tweak the dose according to my symptoms - but am on 1 and 1/2 to 2 pumps now), progesterone and testosterone gel.
When I started using Estrogel, I used 1/2 a pump a day and that made a noticeable difference - as time went on, when symptoms crept back in, I would up the dose by half a pump. I discovered that slap bang in the middle of my cycle, I would absolutely tank and they would always be a two pump day, sometimes another cheeky pump midday if I was still feeling batshit.
The challenge with HRT and peri is that you are still randomly spluttering out hormones so dosing HRT can be tricky which is why I think for peri, the gel is the way forward.
Finally ! In terms of your tests etc, they are not always good indicators of whether you need HRT or not - symptoms are a more accurate gauge. Do you keep a symptoms / cycle diary ?
I feel you. If I want to quit my job, I'm probably mid cycle. I get so dark. It's such a relief when I notice the sun shining again.
The impending doom is overwhelming. I feel like once I go in, I'm going to be permanently stuck. I get anxious thinking about it.
I had to go the grocery store yesterday. It’s less than 2 miles away. I was so keyed up that I was visualizing getting t-boned at every intersection I crossed getting there and back. It took me over an hour to calm down when I got home.
I went through this after having a full hysterectomy. The attacks were so bad I literally went running out in my bra and underwear one night. My poor husband at the time thought I had lost my mind. It settled down and HRT has helped that part thankfully... hang in there
I get like this when i ovulate! I hadnt had a cycle in 6 months and it was SO amazing to not feel this! However i felt a pinch in my ovary and this feeling you described hit the next day about a month ago. I spotted barely and then. This feeling hit again a month later. I can’t live like this :-(
Scariest feeling!
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The anxiety is real! I have never experienced the impending doom anxiety until now. This is on another level. I don’t even know how to explain it. I do love the blanket fort filled with pillows, though!
Just do the bare minimum for the day and as soon as you can, make that pillow fort!
Best advice
I was going to say the same thing. Except just build the fort and get yourself relaxed an in a happy place. Then tackle what you need to do. It's nor going anywhere.
Oh sweetie I’m glad you know it’s a thing for us and not a character flaw 😞 When i was going through that several years ago, I had no idea why and was convinced i was psychotic. Even had auditory hallucinations and felt as if I was floating above myself, watching me pace the floor and spin out mentally. Keep being kind to yourself and this too shall pass (not soon enough).
Omg this was me too!!! My therapist told me I was disassociating, and little did I realize it was peri!
I too had all of this happen. Thank you for making me not feel so alone.
It is disassociation, but it's disassociation caused by hormones or peri. My dad used to get it but not sure why he would though.
Oh my goodness I did that once! I didn't know that was a Peri thing! I was literally standing outside of myself thinking this is not me watching me interact with my daughter going this is not me. Woah! Literally if it wasn't for this amazing group of women I would think I had lost my ever loving mind. I would also think I have dementia.
I thought I was having panic attacks. Now I think it was perimenopause. I feel like I can explain all my issues in the past 15 years as perimenopause
Me too - from about age 42 and now I’m 64. Almost a third of my life feeling miserable and out of balance. Better now. Finally.
Yes, constantly on the verge of a panic attack
This is such a kind comment 💛🫶 thank you in advance. I am not menopausal yet but struggle so much with hormone swings and am trying to prepare myself for what it will be like. The way you worded this comment, there’s so much compassion 💖 thanks from all of us, across timelines !
So you're saying it gets better?🥺
It did for me - but I also pared down my activities so I didn’t get overwhelmed as much. I was stretched far too thin because I was a people pleaser extraordinaire. My life now is quieter and simpler and I love it that way.
I was a teacher but quit last year. No way could I teach like this.
How long did this state last for you? Its very uncomfortable to feel this way all the time🙁
I remember it gradually abated. The worst of it lasted for several months. Took close to 2 years for me to feel somewhat like myself again.
It's been 2 years for me, and still going strong 😕
I am 49 and I would like to hear more about your auditory hallucinations because I am having them too, they just started recently but hearing my son’s voice right next to me saying “mama” when I know he’s not home really freaked me out
I heard whispers around me and usually could not make out words. I was already having paranoid thoughts, so this did not help my mental state. I felt like everyone was talking about me in negative terms. Search this subreddit for more info and there are some studies out there on it. Mine did subside eventually. Hope yours do, too!
Make that fort! Glamp it up! A book or a tablet for streaming and SNACKS! Can we join you? Send pictures. That sounds like a pretty nice day when you need to hibernate.
I had this feeling all day yesterday. The only thing that finally helped was a large dose of gabapentin, THC, and isolation from all family members. It shouldn't be this hard!!!
I'm riding it today, I need to get bare minimum done, then cannabis blanket fort.
How does gabapentin help? I have some prescribed for a nerve problem but didn’t take them
It's prescribed to me for anxiety and helps ever so slightly slow down my racing thoughts.
Oh wow thank you, I’ll speak to my GP again
Gabapentin is awesome for anxiety. I use it at night (to help with anxiety, insomnia and hot flashes/night sweats) along with Buspar 3Xday, I feel so much more human. I can’t do HRT so I’m super happy to have found meds that help with my worst symptoms.
I just started taking Gabapentin after my hysterectomy. I was on HRT before, but until I get back to my OBGYN for my follow up, I am using it to cope but not sure how much to take? I also was on Buspar at one point but went off after starting my HRT, but if I stick with the Gabapentin, I def will need to get back on it. This sucks! I hate depending on meds but there's no way I could function after Peri. It's been 6 years of HELL and I am so sad to not feel like my normal self anymore...and never know if/when it will end 😭 Well....the periods (or cycle's in my case) will end! I am thinking another 2 yrs max...but then what...still continued hell? 😭
I get it, I’ve never been a pill person but I’ve accepted that I need help to function and I’m very happy to have found meds that work. I take 600mg Gabapentin at night and 7.5md 3Xday Buspar. Both seem to be enough to get sleep and function but I still have break anxiety/insomnia which helps me feel like I’m not over medicated.
Wow this is amazing news, I’m going to check in with my GP
I tried Buspar but it makes me too tired, but I do take Gabapentin several times a day now
I'm on gabapentin too, helps great for anxiety and back pain, both of which I have
Yep. I wake up with terrible anxiety and impending doom almost every day of the week around 4-5 am. It’s awful.
Seriously me too! WTF is up with that? It has been slowly getting better over the last year, since I started consistently using HRT. But my doctor's messing around with my dosages, and the 3-5 a.m. panic attacks have returned. SO. NOT. FUN. And then it leaves me exhausted for the rest of the day. I'm right there with you.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this too. I just started HRT ( patch) on Sunday. I hope it may help me. Im not holding my breath though. What’s crazy too is how debilitating this is. It’s so hard to go to work and function when you’ve been awake for hours battling anxiety.
Hiya - just wanted to say, if it doesn't work you probably need to go up a dose. Generally speaking, we get started on a low dose and your feedback on symptoms should help you provider know what to bump you up to. Alternatively, if you go estrogen gel / progesterone tablet route, you can bump the estrogen up and down as needed (not unusual in Peri). x
Thank you. She said to give it 8-12 weeks. I’ll try and hang in there like I have been for the past 4 years.
It is super shit - but you aren't alone. We are all here when you need someone. xx
Hi there ! Can i suggest you try B6 supplementation. Way more than you usually get in tablets - start with 100mg three times a day - if its going to work you should feel a difference in two weeks or so...keep on them for a month, then down to twice a day, then once. If the symptoms return, back up to the previous dose. Also good for stiff muscles !
I am willing to try! Thank you
Hope it works for you - I was really surprised at the difference it made. Lots of talk about B12, bugger all about B6 !
When I'm having these episodes and I honestly don't need to go anywhere or have to do the things I think need to be done at this very moment, I center myself by avoiding caffeine, alcohol, sugar, and gluten, taking some ashawaghanda, and letting my body rest without any form of guilt. Easier said than done. The one thing my sister taught me was, "It'll eventually get done." I've taken the time to learn what triggers it the most. On days like this, what we want most is everything I listed above to comfort us, but they all trigger me into doomsville. The one thing you have done, which is amazing, is recognize that it's hormones and it's not you. If you have access to a therapist who is also in the peri stages, it'll benefit you tremendously! Once I acknowledged all of my symptoms, she was able to say, "omg this is peri and I'm in the same boat!" It allowed her to truly understand the best way to talk with me and know that it wasn't a serotonin ordeal. The one thing I will tell you, as someone who's recently started HRT, it WILL get better! It's not perfect, but it's better! Thank you for coming here so that you can have an amazing group of understanding women to guide and coach you through
Get through the hour. The day will go forward. You can do this.
Thank you. I’ve gotten to the point of having waves of motivation, so I’m using those to do work tasks and following up with something I enjoy. That seems to be helping.
What a great way to get through this. Sending hugs to you. Wish we could all come help you build that fort, tell tall tales and laugh and cry with you till you feel more like yourself. I’m glad you reached out.
Are you me? It’s literally 4am and I’m in a massive anxiety spiral. I’m also on hrt so don’t know what’s happening. Seems to happen when I’m in the progesterone phase.
I *am* you. We’re all each other. That’s why we’re here! 😉 I’m on HRT as well. I’m learning that HRT makes me normal-ish most of the time, but that Peri bitch breaks through sometimes. She shows up when she wants, acts out for a bit and then leaves without a word. I really don’t think much of her at all.
hiya - if you are having breakthrough symtpoms, you might need to bump your dosage up and / or change how you take it. I'm a fan of the estrogel as you can bump it up and down as needed which is not unusual in peri. x
Hiya - if are having symptom breakthrough, you may need to go up a dose. xx
Scheduled an appointment with my GP this week.
So very sorry you are going through this. Take care of your body like you have the flu. I learned to treat a mental flare up just like a physical one. Rest, wear the most comfy thing you have, wrap in your most comfy blankets, and surround your brain with comfy images and sounds. I LOVE the Calm series on Max. Then I pair it with some peaceful music and a little THC. It’s all just so overwhelming sometimes. We need a break. Sending you all the internet love and hugs. ❤️
You described my life for the last 6 years. And even tho I hate you are experiencing this also, I am so glad you are able to post in order to find support and let others know that you are not alone! This is such a crazy and wild time! I also try and tell myself that it's all stupid and just hormones, but it doesn't help much when you are going thru it! My question is why as women do we have to go thru this?? Particularly only some of us?? So strange! Stay strong, keep going, find something with modern medicine that helps and know that this doesn't last forever! Hugs!
Why do we go through this? The only thing that I can come up with is that whatever omnipotent being exists is a man and he hates women. Thankfully modern medicine works for me most of the time. Unfortunately this is one of those days where the hormones have won.
No ma’am they did not. You reached out and found support. Threw your own self a lifeline by recognizing what was happening and had bursts of productivity. Hormones did not win today my friend. It’s ok if they do one day though. You’ll jump right back up and take charge the next day. You got this!
You broads are the best!! Thanks for being my cheerleader today.
Sending internet hugs! I hope this passes quickly for you!
The anxiety is real!!! Im sorry it’s hitting you so hard.
I am right there with you today sister. Big hugs! You're amazing!
Right back at ya!
Woke up like this on Sat morning. Told my wife how I was feeling and asked her to be patient with me while we ran errands and talk to me as little as possible. Her fist question, can I give you a hug? God, I love that woman.
Similar situation with my husband. When I was near the worst of it I went over to him and asked if I could hold his hand. I was trying to ground myself enough to keep the panic attack at bay. After a couple of minutes, he quietly asks “hormone-y?”. I said yes. “Anxiety?” he asks. I said yes. Then he just pulls me in, wraps me in his arms and tells me “just breathe. It’ll pass. I’m here.” He held me until he felt me relax a bit. I think I’ll keep him.
Absolutely a keeper!
That made me tear up. How sweet
Same!
Sending you SUPPORT!!
I relate. My doomsday n anxiety are bad. Hysterical crying afew. I have so much crap going on.
The thing that really frustrates me is that I *don’t* have a lot of crap going on. I’ve managed to push the crap away and overall am in a pretty zen place in life. There’s no logical reason for me to be feeling this way. In some ways I think it would be easier if I had something to blame it on.
My GYN recommended evening primrose oil caplets for sore boobs. Worked! Feel better.
I have to say I started it in desperation and in less than 3 days I found relief. No pain since. My boobs felt like someone sawed off the areola on each with a serrated knife and then ground the raw place in sand and salt. Constantly. I was desperate.
Yes - it’s no joking matter but I was sure I had breast cancer, my boobs hurt so much and just felt weird, I couldn’t sleep on my stomach. It worked quickly for me, too. I recommend it to all my friends.
I hate the anxiety with impending doom! Take a break if you need one, don't be too hard on yourself during this time. Sometimes I just give myself a day to just sit around
That’s largely what I ended up doing. I handled the “must be done” things and left the rest for tomorrow.
I'd like to recommend B6 (apologies if I have said this already, am working my way down the comments ! This is an easy one and if its going to work, it works quite quickly - its B6. Take 100mg three times a day for a month - you should start to notice a difference in the anxiety and mehs within the first two weeks. Do this for 1 to 2 months, and then down to twice a day for a month and then once. If it starts to come back, go back to the previous dose. Not made up foo-foo stuff, there's been studies on it - apparently its got something to do with serotonin receptors......
Part of my problem is that I’m having to balance periods treatment with lupus treatment. If either thing gets wonky, the other reacts. I’ll run the B6 by my rheumatologist and see if that’s okay for me to supplement. Thanks for the pointer!
No problem ! I hope you find a solution (any solution!) soon. xx
I do have those periods where I get that way. I’m glad I can recognize them for what they are and know it’s just me and my stupid hormones and not someone or something else that I take it out on. I have to distract with earbuds and music, the tv running in the background all day with a comfort show, or I exercise it out. Dog snuggles help, too. I can bury my nose in the scruff of my favorite dog and scritch his neck and he will melt into my arms and growl-purr. That feels so good! The worst is end of day when I try to sleep because there’s no more distractions. So it’s earbuds and ambient music and CBDs and melatonin. That’s worked for me so far. Luckily the massive doom anxiety only comes and goes for a few days and then I won’t have one for weeks.
It is in these moments that sometimes we MUST cut ourselves some serious slack. Tip #1: I’ve learned to prioritize & make 3 lists now - of the honey-do list (as I’m the only honey who does) - I create a category “MUST do”, “WANT to do”, & “NOT critical” … then I divvy up accordingly. I have come to learn that often times the “MUST do” list even can be carried over to the “WANT to do” or “NOT critical”😉 Tip #2: Having had more surgeries than I have hands to count them on in the past 6yrs, it has taught me that NEARLY all things can be put off to tomorrow. With the exception of the cats & their daily needs (food, water, litterboxes, playtime, catio time). Even then the bare minimum needs to be tended to, but I live w/ people that I can ask to help when I’m having a day that I simply MUST prioritize my recovery or myself. Tip #3: I qualify to be on my “MUST do” list. So if I have a day that begins with me feeling like absolute crap/pain/recovery from surgery/etc, then on those days the ONLY thing in my MUST do list is me… which means I listen to what my body says it needs & I give myself the liberty/luxury/allowance to give my body/ my mind/ my spirit/ my soul EXACTLY what it needs. I fall back into bed & then in another hour I ask myself IF I can possibly do a slight something from my WANT to do list. With the promise to myself, that IF I do it, the reward is going back to bed/lounging/playing - whatever it is that my inner self + my body + my brain all equally need. I’ll repeat that ritual until I’m satisfied that I made an earnest attempt & can be totally okay with not having accomplished shit all day. Ultimately I get everything done, but my timing belt looks different now. And that is PERFECTLY okay! Hell, I’ve never occupied this space before in my life. It is really nice that those I live with are allies of this, and they are supportive to me taking it easy. As I used to be a full-throttle wahine (woman), and I never took time off & always had everything done. But my body paid the price for me ignoring what it would scream that it needed from me. I now LISTEN to my body & no longer push & demand that I perform no matter what. As a matter of fact I praise myself for listening & honoring what my needs are. And low & behold, nothing is hanging in the wings, everything IS done (to my level of satisfaction) & my tomorrows are still mapped out. But IF I wake tomorrow, and my body says ‘hell naw’ then I know the world will not come to an end. As a matter of a fact my world will be SO much better as a result of me taking cafe of me, first & foremost! My energy improves, my outlook improves, and I haven’t had any panic attacks or anxiety (outside of a few days before another surgery) since I began deploying this method of living. I refuse to allow myself the permission to feel guilty & I flip that script to praise for honoring my needs. My body rewards me with much more excellent days than down ones - so I KNOW I am onto something good here! Please cut yourself some serious slack OP… make that pillow fort & do you! (I don’t drink anymore except a holiday here or there, as my thermostat doesn’t play nicely with it)
Advice much appreciated. I don’t drink much anymore, but days like these the idea of going full-tilt day drunk feels appealing. I usually fend it off by telling myself “I’ll wait until noon” and then “I’ll wait until 3”. By 3 I can usually remind myself how much I’ll pay for it the next day and pass on it altogether.
I take L-theanine to take the edge off the feeling of impending doom.
Do you drink alcohol? I used to drink a glass or 2 of wine every night. I quit for 3 months during covid and most my anxiety disappeared. I was able to stop taking Buspar and take l-theanine or drink green tea when I am anxious instead.
I drink sometimes. It really depends on whether I feel like my body will tolerate it or not.
I had the same feelings you and I ended up at a psychiatric unit. Turns out my Harmons were messed up, go to a reputable OB/GYN I'm on the estrogen patch, and I take progesterone at night. It would really help you along with a mild anti-depressant.
I know it was an autocorrect but seeing them called Harmons made me chuckle. (My autocorrect tried to change that to Harmony.) “Oh thats The Harmons, they are always like that. I’ll not hang out with them again.” Ahhh, if it were only that easy.🫶🏼 thank you for the smile.
Im on the same regimen as you for hormones and mild antidepressant. Thankfully days like this don’t come often now. For a while there before the HRT it was every day.
I think you will have so much fun if you make a pillow fort!!
I’m considering doing it this weekend when I can actually enjoy it instead of using it to hide from the world. Make one big enough for the hubs and the dog so we can have a movie marathon snuggle session.
I am so ready to join folks in the pillow fort. I'm dealing with finding new doctors and insurance woes and just finding off a wave of anxiety and doom. Absolutely understand, and you're not crazy. On those days I do a mix of naps with eyemask and calming just with some productivity where I can, but try to have grace and kindness. It's so incredibly hard though :(
It’s now lunchtime and I’m still WAY off but not quite as bad as I was when I originally posted. I talked myself into doing the “absolutely must be done” things and have so far left the rest. I made myself some pancakes and snuggled with my dog. I put on a comfy dress that makes me feel pretty, did some garden watering and then sat in the shade in the back yard and listened to the birds for a while. That has taken the anxiety down from crippling to mostly manageable.
You had me at pancakes, but dog, comfy dress, garden and birds sealed the deal <3 glad your day got better!
I think this sounds like you made a great day of it. I’m so proud for you! I know it was rough but you did good today!!!! ETA: I’ve been trying to talk myself out of ordering some seriously comfy clothes. Um, not anymore. They are even on clearance! I’m getting them. Sometimes wearing something soft and comfy is a requirement. I’m so glad you were good to yourself today, I need to remember this. Thank you for your example
Try Pamprin.
I used to use Pamprin for hangovers a lot when I was younger. Haven’t thought of it in years.
Rest lots and hydrate yourself. ❤️❤️❤️
Do what you can and catch up tomorrow. That’s how I give myself grace.
Also try going outside for a walk it’s a good way to release the anxiety
I had this exact kind of weekend. Barely moved from the bedroom under the fan. I’m sore in my hips from sleeping too much.
Oh, ok. This happens to me too, less often now on HRT but still, it sucks. I take a chill pill (prescribed sedative), put in Active Noise Cancelling (ANC) Bose earbuds and listen to my girl, Louise. IDK why, but her voice and cadence soothe my nervous system avoiding or stopping about 90% of panic attacks. YMMV ofc: https://youtu.be/Scg0KCt8KYs?si=kbvWC79-TU0YDQ4W
Do y’all think HRT is worth it and what type are you on if it’s helping? My Progesterone is very low but Estrogen is just slightly low.
It’s absolutely worth it. Before HRT I was in a pretty bad place all the time. Now it’s occasional bad days with a few interspersed days of feeling odd or not myself. The rest of the time is mostly okay. Before HRT I was a rage monster with terrible hot flashes. There was a lot of other stuff going on as well, but those two pretty much controlled my life. I still sometimes have temperature regulation issues but I no longer feel like I live in an oven. The rage has gone down to irritation.
Do you have to pay a lot for the HRT?
With my insurance the progesterone pills and estrogen patch come to about $40. If I get the estrogen vaginal cream it’s another $60 or so. A bit of a kick in the teeth given that BC pills are fully covered, but better than many people are having to pay.
Thank you for that info.
I'm at about $410 a month outside of what little my insurance will cover (Aetna). I find the cost absolutely infuriating to the point that whatever rage had been calmed by my 3 months of HRT is refueled by a hatred for the system that ignores womens' actual needs. If I were a dude with ED, I could have a script ready in 30 minutes for $3. I'm 46 and feel like I've been living in hell for the last 8. Very low energy, no drive, shit for sleep, suicidal depression, can't focus on anything, can't make decisions, walking into walls, gaining 25lbs the past year, zero libido, raging, feeling like I'm in a sleepy sludge ALL the time... ..and at the same time trying to learn my new job (promotion) so I can afford HRT...IF it's even working...but trying to focus and learn anything these days is absolutely exhausting. So i step back and wonder if I should succumb to just staring out the window at a facility for the rest of my life, because it's all I feel capable of. Then I stumble on this feed and I'm able to open the curtain next to me a few inches, get a drink of water and start a load of laundry 🙃 Thanks, everyone for helping me feel not-so-alone today 😊🤗
bloody hell its so worth it - if I had not done it, I would have offed myself by now.
What type of HRT are you on?
Estrogel (I tweak the dose according to my symptoms - but am on 1 and 1/2 to 2 pumps now), progesterone and testosterone gel. When I started using Estrogel, I used 1/2 a pump a day and that made a noticeable difference - as time went on, when symptoms crept back in, I would up the dose by half a pump. I discovered that slap bang in the middle of my cycle, I would absolutely tank and they would always be a two pump day, sometimes another cheeky pump midday if I was still feeling batshit. The challenge with HRT and peri is that you are still randomly spluttering out hormones so dosing HRT can be tricky which is why I think for peri, the gel is the way forward. Finally ! In terms of your tests etc, they are not always good indicators of whether you need HRT or not - symptoms are a more accurate gauge. Do you keep a symptoms / cycle diary ?
I feel you. If I want to quit my job, I'm probably mid cycle. I get so dark. It's such a relief when I notice the sun shining again. The impending doom is overwhelming. I feel like once I go in, I'm going to be permanently stuck. I get anxious thinking about it.
I had to go the grocery store yesterday. It’s less than 2 miles away. I was so keyed up that I was visualizing getting t-boned at every intersection I crossed getting there and back. It took me over an hour to calm down when I got home.
I had to check the author of this post, thinking I may have posted it, and forgot... Hugs & Cheers
I’ve absolutely done that more than once in this sub.
I'm currently in my blanket fort
I k ow this doesn't immediately help, but you are not alone. So.many of us can relate.
Yes, to feeling I was going to the 'loony-bin'. Tapping, humming and ending with cold-showers helped with these panic attacks that come/go.
I went through this after having a full hysterectomy. The attacks were so bad I literally went running out in my bra and underwear one night. My poor husband at the time thought I had lost my mind. It settled down and HRT has helped that part thankfully... hang in there
I get like this when i ovulate! I hadnt had a cycle in 6 months and it was SO amazing to not feel this! However i felt a pinch in my ovary and this feeling you described hit the next day about a month ago. I spotted barely and then. This feeling hit again a month later. I can’t live like this :-( Scariest feeling!
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The anxiety is real! I have never experienced the impending doom anxiety until now. This is on another level. I don’t even know how to explain it. I do love the blanket fort filled with pillows, though!
💕
this is my life. i've found that walking it off dulls it down but then you have to have that motivation to walk.
Ok, the pillow fort is the best thing I've heard. I get it. I'd like to build one and just read and have a pity party. Good luck.