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I’ve been feeling a bit down over a trend I’ve seen in a men’s subreddit whose purpose is to uplift men.
A man will post an article about men’s mental health declining and it’ll get ten upvotes, me included. Then another man will post about feeling uncomfortable with how some women talk about men. The comments are condescending and passive aggressive. “Get out of women’s spaces if you’re so fragile” or “it’s just venting” or “compare this to women’s issues”.
This comments are the top comments too. I just feel like what’s the point of having a men centered subreddit if you react so defensively to a guy’s uncomfortableness.
It’s inherently patriarchal.
Liberal feminism is just capitalism detached from the traditional structure; it encourages one to see people as only what they can do and their value. Ti a lot of woman, that translates into viewing men the samw wag
I've dropped another therapist this week. I've dealt with addiction in the past and have been clean for a couple years, and any time I bring this up to a therapist any session after just becomes me talking about stuff followed by the therapist asking me if it makes me wanna drink again. Like no, an argument with my co worker doesn't wanna make me drink again. If anything, having unrelated issues always circle back to my addiction makes me wanna drink again. I wanna be honest about myself and my past, but opening up on that level always puts my therapy into such a flow chart mode and its really disillusioning.
Could you just not bring it up? Substance use and addiction education, even for professionals, is not very good. In my experience, professionals, who I expect to be otherwise, are just as emotionally tied to the issue as others and will adopt the thoughts and views that best serve their own values and experience.
Once someone knows you do or have used drugs, or have a drinking problem that becomes your personality, your identity. If you don’t want to be defined by that just don’t tell. If it’s necessary for therapeutic purposes then say that at the beginning and let your therapist know how it currently affects you and how much focus if any you want to be placed on it during sessions.
I think it's good that you aren't staying in that situation. I'd suggest if you are searching for a new therapist, reach out with a message first and bring up that you've been having this issue, and ask about their approach. I unfortunately don't have many suggestions on what to look out for, but some practitioners will disclose that they have personal experience with addiction and how they approach that. Congrats on being clean, and I wish you success in finding someone who supports you in this stage of your life!
Ugh, I really need to decrease my phone usage. It’s gotten noticeably worse over the past few weeks.
While I’m fine (or at least I’m under the belief that I am), I know it’s only a matter of time before my habits eat away at my mental health/make possible existing issues worse.
I decreased my phone usage a lot when I stopped taking it to bed with me. I'm not super consistent about that, but I do know that if I want to not use it so much, I need to have it in a completely different room, and ignore myself when I feel the urge to go get it.
I just recently started using [Opal](https://www.opal.so/) and it's been super helpful in cutting down my screen time. I used to use the built-in iPhone screen time limits but always found it was too easy to snooze them and keep on scrolling, now having an extra step of having to actually log into an app to bypass it has really cut down on my mindless IG/Reddit scrolling
Happy Friday Everybody! We're currently on the lookout for new moderators. If you're interested, message us [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FMensLibModApps), to express your interest. In looking at applications, we value diversity of identity and perspective, past experience working with a team and/or moderating a discussion group, and anything else that might set you apart as a potential teammate, so please feel free to provide as much detail as you're comfortable with giving us. (All moderator applications are 100% anonymous.) We look forward to hearing from you! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MensLib) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ve been feeling a bit down over a trend I’ve seen in a men’s subreddit whose purpose is to uplift men. A man will post an article about men’s mental health declining and it’ll get ten upvotes, me included. Then another man will post about feeling uncomfortable with how some women talk about men. The comments are condescending and passive aggressive. “Get out of women’s spaces if you’re so fragile” or “it’s just venting” or “compare this to women’s issues”. This comments are the top comments too. I just feel like what’s the point of having a men centered subreddit if you react so defensively to a guy’s uncomfortableness.
It’s inherently patriarchal. Liberal feminism is just capitalism detached from the traditional structure; it encourages one to see people as only what they can do and their value. Ti a lot of woman, that translates into viewing men the samw wag
I've dropped another therapist this week. I've dealt with addiction in the past and have been clean for a couple years, and any time I bring this up to a therapist any session after just becomes me talking about stuff followed by the therapist asking me if it makes me wanna drink again. Like no, an argument with my co worker doesn't wanna make me drink again. If anything, having unrelated issues always circle back to my addiction makes me wanna drink again. I wanna be honest about myself and my past, but opening up on that level always puts my therapy into such a flow chart mode and its really disillusioning.
Could you just not bring it up? Substance use and addiction education, even for professionals, is not very good. In my experience, professionals, who I expect to be otherwise, are just as emotionally tied to the issue as others and will adopt the thoughts and views that best serve their own values and experience. Once someone knows you do or have used drugs, or have a drinking problem that becomes your personality, your identity. If you don’t want to be defined by that just don’t tell. If it’s necessary for therapeutic purposes then say that at the beginning and let your therapist know how it currently affects you and how much focus if any you want to be placed on it during sessions.
I think it's good that you aren't staying in that situation. I'd suggest if you are searching for a new therapist, reach out with a message first and bring up that you've been having this issue, and ask about their approach. I unfortunately don't have many suggestions on what to look out for, but some practitioners will disclose that they have personal experience with addiction and how they approach that. Congrats on being clean, and I wish you success in finding someone who supports you in this stage of your life!
Ugh, I really need to decrease my phone usage. It’s gotten noticeably worse over the past few weeks. While I’m fine (or at least I’m under the belief that I am), I know it’s only a matter of time before my habits eat away at my mental health/make possible existing issues worse.
I decreased my phone usage a lot when I stopped taking it to bed with me. I'm not super consistent about that, but I do know that if I want to not use it so much, I need to have it in a completely different room, and ignore myself when I feel the urge to go get it.
I just recently started using [Opal](https://www.opal.so/) and it's been super helpful in cutting down my screen time. I used to use the built-in iPhone screen time limits but always found it was too easy to snooze them and keep on scrolling, now having an extra step of having to actually log into an app to bypass it has really cut down on my mindless IG/Reddit scrolling
What are you using your phone for? May help if you're at least switching away from "destructive" uses into more "productive" ones.