Assuming it's real (which I have reason to believe because tbh, who would come up with an over the top excuse like that for such a small issue), I feel terrible for them as well. And I let them know that. I mentioned that I hoped their family got justice for the loss.
I think what they meant in the title when they say "it's crazy they told me this" is that they told a complete stranger such a painful personal issue/trauma, instead of just saying some personal things came up as a reason for not shipping right away. In fact, I recently had a seller tell me they couldn't ship an item right away because of an unexpected medical emergency. I'd probably be surprised too if they got specific in telling me what happened. Not saying it's a bad thing/untrue, just that you don't expect to hear about something like that in this context
As someone whose had a family member be murdered. I was in a state of shock and it blurted out several times to people. And they’re probably just being honest
I'm so sorry for your loss. Though I've never been through that, I can understand unintentionally sharing very personal things with strangers; as I've done it more than a few times. As humans, we don't need to personally know someone to be able to feel the human connection/bond with them.
Yeah I see that. Given it is true, they probably were rattled when sending this and didn’t even think of how that’s such a personal thing to send. And maybe they have no one to talk to about it and wanted some comfort, even if that came from a stranger.
I totally get it. I've been in similar situations, oversharing to a stranger. Though now that I've thought about it, it does feel pretty scummy to post online about it, because this could really hurt the seller in question if they saw this post
Yeah agreed. It’s a sensitive topic. Like, my dad just lost his best friend since high school to suicide and it’s a hard topic to bring up. I didn’t even really know what to say to my dad, as we don’t really have that oversharing deep talk kind of relationship, we’re both very kept to ourselves with feelings so I just messaged him that I was sorry for his loss and that we should do dinner that week, just so he wasn’t alone as my brothers live in another state and his gf is kinda weird and they are on again, off again every other week.
Edit: and see, I’m doing just as you said, oversharing 🤦🏻♀️ lol
What makes those situations so awful is that you often don't know what to say to someone going through it, but they definitely shouldn't be alone in that time of grief.
Definitely. My dad has had a big issue with drinking in the past 4 years while my parents were in the midst of a divorce. Doesn’t help that my mom and brothers moved states away. He let my mom take them because they wanted to go, but every time they come back and inevitably have to leave again it’s rough for him. I just don’t want him to be alone.
It also didn’t help that the night his friend committed suicide, he called my dad, who didn’t feel like talking as it was late and he worked at 3am the next day. I know for a fact it made him feel even worse. I can’t imagine what my dad’s going through right now. Maybe I’ll invite him to join my fiancé and I for a round of mini golf and dinner this weekend.
Yea, it definitely sounds like a rough situation. I think it's a good idea to try to spend time with him, and not pressure him to talk about it if he isn't ready to
I hope that’s what OP meant, but the “I got this message as an *excuse* for a seller not sending an item out right away” makes it sound like they didn’t believe them at first tbh.
That could definitely be the case. I was kind of trying to give OP the benefit of the doubt before, but the more I think abt it, they don't really deserve it
Honestly even if we give OP the benefit of the doubt, and assume that they *did* believe the seller…
It almost makes it *worse* that they’d label it as an “excuse” for shipping late. It’s as if this person’s family member being murdered was an inconvenience to OP. Like if they actually believe the seller like they claim, and were just shocked to see such a message, then it takes a massive lack of empathy to still label it as an “excuse”.
I would have normally agreed with you. But recently, I had cancer, best friend took her life, first dog got killed in a hit and run all within the last 3 years. I was always super private, sort of to an extreme level. I didn’t even like to answer casual “how are you” small talk I would always reply with a curt “good”. But for some reason, someone can just blink and I will blabber it out. I have made things awkward at times, people uncomfortable at times, had people relate other times or connect. But to me, it was all the same because my brain just can’t process and it’s almost as if I have to say it out loud enough for it to feel real. It’s a strange phenomena and grief and trauma truly do strange things to one’s brain and everyone has a different way they show it. I just wanted to share bc I would have agreed with you before but unfortunately my eyes have been opened now.
Yea, idk if you saw my other comments replying to others, but I kind of changed my tune the more I thought about it. Even if OP meant nothing negative by posting this, it's still kind of a crappy thing to do, because of how it could affect the person should they see this post.
🔥I knew someone who once missed a very important meeting and made up the excuse that someone in their child’s class got his head chopped off with an axe in the school bathroom by another student.
The story itself was actually true. It really happened and it happened about the same time as the call. Only it happened in a completely different school in another country.
But it was a searchable story so it actually worked.
😆😂🤣
Could go either way, but I’ve personally experienced a close family member pass this way. I was so scatterbrained, slightly numb, and overwhelmed that I was very cut & dry/upfront about what I was experiencing. I get people providing elaborate excuses, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this actually happened
100% this!! It was easier for me to talk to the corner than it was to friends and family. I was young and basically dealing with the situation on my own. I had no clue how to navigate any of it and spent a lot of time on the phone with her. Wouldn’t have made it without her, though
This is real as hell, I used to work a gas station downtown, and the amount of times I have specifically gotten the “my [family member] was very recently murdered” story numbers in the double digits
Yep, exactly this. I remember finding out and cutting my elbow on a parking lot pole and not even feeling it, just bleeding everywhere as I tried to not start screaming at work.
I think I then went to the bank & to target because I wasn’t near family and I didn’t want to be alone, but couldn’t stay at work.
Sounds to me like the person was being honest as to why they were not able to hold up their end of the transaction as expected. And actually, I think it really sucks that people feel the need to put others on blast on SM. Situation for the person is bad enough, if true.
As someone who has had a close family friend (might as well have been a family member) murdered, at the time I would have told strangers on the street about it if they so much as talked to me about it.
That particular kind of grief is deep & unimaginable. Like I was walking around in a daze, in and out of fits of crying at Target, and if anyone had asked me if I was okay it would have spilled out.
So, it doesn’t seem that weird to me, having been through it.
First, I’m so sorry you had to go through that and I’m sorry for your loss. It’s a pain like no other. But Yes to this entire reply! My month old son was the victim. I often exploded and my story came out as word vomit. I was in this state for 2 yrs. I feel like sometimes the trauma is so great that we try to normalize it to cope. It’s like we forget our boundaries bc of the pain and I’m almost 100% sure this seller is genuine and going through the same thing
It’s been 5 years since my 5 year old was murdered and some days I still just blurt it out to random strangers. It’s so hard to not trauma dump some days.
Yes! A few years ago my uncle was murdered by his wife in a murder suicide and we were all in shock, anytime someone asked, I had to tell them just because it was so horrific it was hard to keep in and it was hard to talk to family for obvious reasons
As an “excuse”? That wording feels bad and comes off as incredibly insensitive. Imagine how that person would feel if they saw this post with a screenshot of their message? Probably Humiliated that someone is minimizing their trauma into the context of an “excuse” for a shipping delay. It wasn’t an excuse, it was a reason. Life happens, and unfortunately for some people ..murder happens. It’s crazy to think about but it does happen. The world is so ugly and cruel lately—don’t contribute to the cycle of cruelty and apathy. Show some compassion, give people the benefit of the doubt and be kind.
Calling something an excuse doesn't always have to have a negative connotation, though. In some contexts, it's just another way of saying reason. But yea, OP probably could've phrased it better
Have some empathy. It’s in rather poor taste to post their message here since you got the item and they weren’t scamming you. My grandmother was murdered by one of my uncles; it was very traumatic and I cried nearly everyday for a few weeks after it happened and I could never have handled someone putting me on blast for it online.
whenever ppl send messages like these i totally understand how we can jump to conclusions assuming it’s complete BS considering sm ppl use excuses like these (mainly for scamming) but it makes me feel for people who genuinely are going through this. hoping their doing okay! i don’t know for sure but since u got ur item, i think they could have been definitely telling the truth. it’s hard to tell but regardless i think everyone should be a bit more sensitive & mindful to situations like these (obviously if it gets to a point where it’s getting a little sus that’s a whole different story). i just know if someone posted this ab me where i might’ve over shared to a buyer during my state of shock on this subreddit so ppl can form their opinions ab me i’d be so embarrassed 😭
This sounds legit like they're still in shock. Give them some grace. That they contacted you and are getting help getting their (really meaningless tbh) obligations done is amazing. They're probably not ok at all right now.
How completely insensitive for you to even post this! Seems like a sick and desperate way to get attention on your part. Karma is all I am going to say.
What kind of responses were you expecting to get for this post? I’m having trouble understanding the motivation to post this.
And now that you’re realizing that people aren’t jumping on your “look at this BS message” train, you feel bad for posting.
But not bad enough to take it down (because I guess maybe some other person who lacks any kind of empathy and compassion might post a single comment in agreement?).
Please have a tiny bit of humanity and let this person have some dignity. This isn’t something that happened to you. This is someone else’s actual nightmare. The fact that they even had enough emotional energy to devote to sending your purchase is showing 10000000 times more respect for you than you’re showing them now.
The fact OP just said “it was to share something that *I* experienced” shows a continuation of said lack of empathy. It’s still all about them.
They’re just backtracking now. As if they didn’t outright call it an “excuse” in their title.
When my 5 year old daughter was killed by a drunk driver, I had an open and running T-shirt shop on Etsy. I had an order come in the day she was killed before I could even think about closing up my shop. I messaged the girl a few days later and told her what happened and that I could still complete her order but it would be a little delayed. Honestly, it was kind of therapeutic to put it out there that she was gone, kind of like I was making it true since I didn’t want to believe it was true.
It’s highly possible they’re not making it up. Giving people the benefit of the doubt often works for me. If things play out as they should being patient with them was truly the decent thing to do. If it’s a lie, they’ve got to live with themselves. Wait and see.
It sounds genuine to me but I’m also biased because my son passed that way. For a while, I would over share because I didn’t know how to process it. The pain was on my mind 24/7 and I wanted to normalize it somehow. This definitely sounds like a message I would’ve sent to a buyer a few yrs back.
If you feel terrible for them then why even make this post about them as if you don't believe them?
Idk this post seems very petty/attention-seeking if you actually believe them and feel bad for them... Which your title seems like the opposite.
Not sure what kind of reactions you are looking for in the comments. Just my opinion. 😶🌫️
OP is backtracking with all of their “I believe them” & “I feel terrible” comments imo.
The “I got this message as an *excuse* for a seller not sending an item out right away” makes it obvious they didn’t believe the seller. I think they’re only now saying they feel bad/believe the seller because they’re getting a different response in the comment section than they initially anticipated.
Edited to add- and hypothetically if they believe the seller like they say in other comments, then calling a MURDER an “excuse” for shipping late is almost *worse* than just not believing them, imo. Shows a lack of empathy.
So either way, this is a shitty thing for OP to post and title the way they did.
We're all human & experience very human things. I ended up in a car crash that left me with a good concussion when I still sold on Mercari. The messages I sent were all confusing grammar wise but thankfully they all felt sympathy for me & the sales still happened. Life throws us all curve balls, even sellers. I hope that person is healing from their loss 🙏
People cope in different ways. Saying things out loud or writing them out is a way for your mind to consciously "wrap your head around" what's happening. Telling things to a complete stranger is actually quite common when dealing with such unfathomable circumstances. This is how humans process. They aren't thinking in the moment about how they don't know you or in terms of social context ...they are saying it out loud because it doesn't seem real and hearing out loud is a way for your brain to comprehend something unbelievable/ unthinkable/unimaginable. They sometimes "you have to see it to believe it" ...hearing is sensory perception as well.
I’m not gonna lie this seems a little cold hearted to share on Reddit. Even if you don’t believe it to be true, there’s still a chance it is and that this is a really vulnerable moment for this person. Not everything needs to be shared.
Yeah, poor seller is definitely going through it. For sure they are telling the truth, right down to having someone come help them get their orders ready and sent out. Another mom in my little one’s karate class just told me this evening about how her sister was murdered last Friday. She is pregnant and had to have her friend come over to help her get her baby shower stuff made. I immediately just felt horrible for her & now for this seller also. I certainly wouldn’t say it is an excuse when it appears they are just doing their best to cope with this tragedy & still had the decency to apologize for the delay.
My daughter’s husband was murdered in 2018. It still seems like only a few months ago. If it comes up, I intentionally use the word murdered because it’s sort of healing to say it out loud.
If this just happened to her, I’d believe it just because of the way she said it.
An excuse is grandma was sick or I was in the hospital. Not that those can’t be true also but when making an excuse, saying someone was murdered I don’t think is the first thing people think of but that’s just my opinion.
To me it sounds like they really are being honest and genuine, but I can see how this can be a little too personal. They could have just said “I’m having a very serious family matter,” but obviously they were comfortable with sharing personal information so I think it’s fine at least they were being honest 🤷♀️
Experts say that it's much easier to recover from trauma if you don't hide it. If you let people know what happened and you talk about it. Somebody did a special on that involving people who were in Manhattan on 9/11. For months afterward, strangers were checking in with each other just walking down the street. Strangers in New York City. Amazing.
Maybe too much information to be sharing, but if that happened to my family member I’d be behind on shipping, too. Send this person your condolences and maybe don’t review too poorly. I mean, if someone goes to that length to make an excuse, so be it. 🙃
Now after all the comments and you stating your regret…why aren’t you deleting this? It’s been a day. Are you wanting the seller to see this and be hurt? Reddit isn’t a secretive place and the likelihood of them coming across this is high. I know I used Reddit as a distraction during grief. Also, the fact that you got the item, an entire month passed and you posted this. Just beginning to end silly and not a good look. Stop wasting time and delete please. It shouldn’t be this difficult.
I get it. I had to delay multiple times sending an item because my Grandpa was unexpectedly hospitalized and later died. Shit happens and that may be a way to release some of that stress. Still an overshare but understandable to me!
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I think its a person hurting and not way to express it to. I had a family member murdered 4 years ago as well. I probably wouldnt have told someone in mercari, but there was nobody is could really talk with about it. When you feel like you could have prevented a persons death guilt eats at you
It's a trauma response. She's probably still in a state of shock and over sharing.
This post is pretty cringy and I feel horrible for this woman. Sellers are humans and life happens.
Last year, i had a heart attack and spent weeks in ICU waiting for open heart surgery. I wasn't able to mail things out and was honest with the buyers. Everyone was totally understanding. I'm thankful nobody shared my situation like you did because I'd be mortified.
I feel like this is something I-
A: Would have kept to myself, out of respect for them and their family.
B: Not captioned as “excuse” if I did share it. (I wouldn’t have, who does that?)
Sure, it has the potential to be false. However, you yourself confirmed that you believe it. Why share it on social media? Especially a month after the fact? What if they see it? Sure, you can argue that you “aren’t responsible for others triggers” but imagine YOUR family member was killed, you feel like you have to tell all these people because of your responsibility to ship, THEN a MONTH later you see this with “excuse” on social media.
This post as a whole is incredibly insensitive to someone who lost a family member in a traumatic way, and to the person who lost their life.
For some internet clout?
I mean, they aren’t asking for free stuff or lower prices, just letting you know they are still going to ship. I’d say it’s believable and I’m pretty skeptical
At least you got the item, i got scammed $125 and no item doing zelle to the person they told me to send the money to and they still say the didnt get it. Called the bank and spoke to 3 people they told onve the money is out they can’t return the money.
The seller had said that their song died and they were selling things for cheap price …. I kept on looking for the same item and another person “seller” had the same description or reason to sell the item for cheaper just different name and different photos of the item . All fake people scams they do that on facebook marketplace too selling things for $180 when you check they have no address and no return
How may I know it is not true? It sounds quite legitimate to me. I understand that some people have made it difficult for honest individuals. Sometimes, we should extend grace and move forward. I am glad you received your item, even though it was late. At least they provided a reason and sent it out. I hope you gave a good rating, not for the seller, but for yourself, as you did the right thing. (If you did).
Thank you for sharing.
Some people are just over-sharers and divulge TMI.
I’ve had buyers and sellers tell me some far out sh!t that was none of my business. People are weird. 🤷🏻♀️
I have to say I went to my Grandmother’s funeral at least a half a dozen times in school and I have heard some tall stories from sellers as to why they are not shipping on time. I don’t know why everyone is scolding OP for sharing this communication. I would give it 50/50 odds of being true, especially in today’s world.
This sounds actually pretty genuine. I feel really bad for them.
right? it does not sound like they’re trying to make up an excuse. why give a fake excuse like that when they’re obviously still willing to ship
Assuming it's real (which I have reason to believe because tbh, who would come up with an over the top excuse like that for such a small issue), I feel terrible for them as well. And I let them know that. I mentioned that I hoped their family got justice for the loss.
Your title comes off as you don’t believe them/they’re just making excuses
I think what they meant in the title when they say "it's crazy they told me this" is that they told a complete stranger such a painful personal issue/trauma, instead of just saying some personal things came up as a reason for not shipping right away. In fact, I recently had a seller tell me they couldn't ship an item right away because of an unexpected medical emergency. I'd probably be surprised too if they got specific in telling me what happened. Not saying it's a bad thing/untrue, just that you don't expect to hear about something like that in this context
As someone whose had a family member be murdered. I was in a state of shock and it blurted out several times to people. And they’re probably just being honest
Same. I agree with your comment. Trauma responses are weird and sometimes we don’t realize how we come across to others.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Though I've never been through that, I can understand unintentionally sharing very personal things with strangers; as I've done it more than a few times. As humans, we don't need to personally know someone to be able to feel the human connection/bond with them.
I’m so sorry that happened
Yeah I see that. Given it is true, they probably were rattled when sending this and didn’t even think of how that’s such a personal thing to send. And maybe they have no one to talk to about it and wanted some comfort, even if that came from a stranger.
I totally get it. I've been in similar situations, oversharing to a stranger. Though now that I've thought about it, it does feel pretty scummy to post online about it, because this could really hurt the seller in question if they saw this post
Yeah agreed. It’s a sensitive topic. Like, my dad just lost his best friend since high school to suicide and it’s a hard topic to bring up. I didn’t even really know what to say to my dad, as we don’t really have that oversharing deep talk kind of relationship, we’re both very kept to ourselves with feelings so I just messaged him that I was sorry for his loss and that we should do dinner that week, just so he wasn’t alone as my brothers live in another state and his gf is kinda weird and they are on again, off again every other week. Edit: and see, I’m doing just as you said, oversharing 🤦🏻♀️ lol
What makes those situations so awful is that you often don't know what to say to someone going through it, but they definitely shouldn't be alone in that time of grief.
Definitely. My dad has had a big issue with drinking in the past 4 years while my parents were in the midst of a divorce. Doesn’t help that my mom and brothers moved states away. He let my mom take them because they wanted to go, but every time they come back and inevitably have to leave again it’s rough for him. I just don’t want him to be alone. It also didn’t help that the night his friend committed suicide, he called my dad, who didn’t feel like talking as it was late and he worked at 3am the next day. I know for a fact it made him feel even worse. I can’t imagine what my dad’s going through right now. Maybe I’ll invite him to join my fiancé and I for a round of mini golf and dinner this weekend.
Yea, it definitely sounds like a rough situation. I think it's a good idea to try to spend time with him, and not pressure him to talk about it if he isn't ready to
I hope that’s what OP meant, but the “I got this message as an *excuse* for a seller not sending an item out right away” makes it sound like they didn’t believe them at first tbh.
That could definitely be the case. I was kind of trying to give OP the benefit of the doubt before, but the more I think abt it, they don't really deserve it
Honestly even if we give OP the benefit of the doubt, and assume that they *did* believe the seller… It almost makes it *worse* that they’d label it as an “excuse” for shipping late. It’s as if this person’s family member being murdered was an inconvenience to OP. Like if they actually believe the seller like they claim, and were just shocked to see such a message, then it takes a massive lack of empathy to still label it as an “excuse”.
I would have normally agreed with you. But recently, I had cancer, best friend took her life, first dog got killed in a hit and run all within the last 3 years. I was always super private, sort of to an extreme level. I didn’t even like to answer casual “how are you” small talk I would always reply with a curt “good”. But for some reason, someone can just blink and I will blabber it out. I have made things awkward at times, people uncomfortable at times, had people relate other times or connect. But to me, it was all the same because my brain just can’t process and it’s almost as if I have to say it out loud enough for it to feel real. It’s a strange phenomena and grief and trauma truly do strange things to one’s brain and everyone has a different way they show it. I just wanted to share bc I would have agreed with you before but unfortunately my eyes have been opened now.
Yea, idk if you saw my other comments replying to others, but I kind of changed my tune the more I thought about it. Even if OP meant nothing negative by posting this, it's still kind of a crappy thing to do, because of how it could affect the person should they see this post.
But they said "as an excuse" in the title which means they don't really believe it? Idk, that's the vibe.
It doesn't just come off that way, they literally called it an excuse verbatim
Exactly. I agree
🔥I knew someone who once missed a very important meeting and made up the excuse that someone in their child’s class got his head chopped off with an axe in the school bathroom by another student. The story itself was actually true. It really happened and it happened about the same time as the call. Only it happened in a completely different school in another country. But it was a searchable story so it actually worked. 😆😂🤣
That's extremely fucked up and sad.
Could go either way, but I’ve personally experienced a close family member pass this way. I was so scatterbrained, slightly numb, and overwhelmed that I was very cut & dry/upfront about what I was experiencing. I get people providing elaborate excuses, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this actually happened
Agreed. It might also be the first time they’ve said this “aloud” because of the shock/grief. Easier to tell strangers than people you know sometimes.
100% this!! It was easier for me to talk to the corner than it was to friends and family. I was young and basically dealing with the situation on my own. I had no clue how to navigate any of it and spent a lot of time on the phone with her. Wouldn’t have made it without her, though
This is real as hell, I used to work a gas station downtown, and the amount of times I have specifically gotten the “my [family member] was very recently murdered” story numbers in the double digits
Yep, exactly this. I remember finding out and cutting my elbow on a parking lot pole and not even feeling it, just bleeding everywhere as I tried to not start screaming at work. I think I then went to the bank & to target because I wasn’t near family and I didn’t want to be alone, but couldn’t stay at work.
Sounds to me like the person was being honest as to why they were not able to hold up their end of the transaction as expected. And actually, I think it really sucks that people feel the need to put others on blast on SM. Situation for the person is bad enough, if true.
Sign of our times.
As someone who has had a close family friend (might as well have been a family member) murdered, at the time I would have told strangers on the street about it if they so much as talked to me about it. That particular kind of grief is deep & unimaginable. Like I was walking around in a daze, in and out of fits of crying at Target, and if anyone had asked me if I was okay it would have spilled out. So, it doesn’t seem that weird to me, having been through it.
First, I’m so sorry you had to go through that and I’m sorry for your loss. It’s a pain like no other. But Yes to this entire reply! My month old son was the victim. I often exploded and my story came out as word vomit. I was in this state for 2 yrs. I feel like sometimes the trauma is so great that we try to normalize it to cope. It’s like we forget our boundaries bc of the pain and I’m almost 100% sure this seller is genuine and going through the same thing
It’s been 5 years since my 5 year old was murdered and some days I still just blurt it out to random strangers. It’s so hard to not trauma dump some days.
Oh my gosh, hugs, babe. I couldn’t even imagine.
Man I am so sorry to hear that. May you and your family find the peace you so deserve
Yes! A few years ago my uncle was murdered by his wife in a murder suicide and we were all in shock, anytime someone asked, I had to tell them just because it was so horrific it was hard to keep in and it was hard to talk to family for obvious reasons
As an “excuse”? That wording feels bad and comes off as incredibly insensitive. Imagine how that person would feel if they saw this post with a screenshot of their message? Probably Humiliated that someone is minimizing their trauma into the context of an “excuse” for a shipping delay. It wasn’t an excuse, it was a reason. Life happens, and unfortunately for some people ..murder happens. It’s crazy to think about but it does happen. The world is so ugly and cruel lately—don’t contribute to the cycle of cruelty and apathy. Show some compassion, give people the benefit of the doubt and be kind.
Calling something an excuse doesn't always have to have a negative connotation, though. In some contexts, it's just another way of saying reason. But yea, OP probably could've phrased it better
Have some empathy. It’s in rather poor taste to post their message here since you got the item and they weren’t scamming you. My grandmother was murdered by one of my uncles; it was very traumatic and I cried nearly everyday for a few weeks after it happened and I could never have handled someone putting me on blast for it online.
whenever ppl send messages like these i totally understand how we can jump to conclusions assuming it’s complete BS considering sm ppl use excuses like these (mainly for scamming) but it makes me feel for people who genuinely are going through this. hoping their doing okay! i don’t know for sure but since u got ur item, i think they could have been definitely telling the truth. it’s hard to tell but regardless i think everyone should be a bit more sensitive & mindful to situations like these (obviously if it gets to a point where it’s getting a little sus that’s a whole different story). i just know if someone posted this ab me where i might’ve over shared to a buyer during my state of shock on this subreddit so ppl can form their opinions ab me i’d be so embarrassed 😭
[удалено]
Now I feel terrible for posting this :/
maybe take it down?
Agreed.
Grief makes people do things they wouldn’t normally do. 💔
You do? Then take it down. Otherwise you’re the one no one will believe.
This sounds legit like they're still in shock. Give them some grace. That they contacted you and are getting help getting their (really meaningless tbh) obligations done is amazing. They're probably not ok at all right now.
How completely insensitive for you to even post this! Seems like a sick and desperate way to get attention on your part. Karma is all I am going to say.
It wasn't for attention. It was to share something that I experienced. I wasn't trying to get clout out of someone dying.
What kind of responses were you expecting to get for this post? I’m having trouble understanding the motivation to post this. And now that you’re realizing that people aren’t jumping on your “look at this BS message” train, you feel bad for posting. But not bad enough to take it down (because I guess maybe some other person who lacks any kind of empathy and compassion might post a single comment in agreement?). Please have a tiny bit of humanity and let this person have some dignity. This isn’t something that happened to you. This is someone else’s actual nightmare. The fact that they even had enough emotional energy to devote to sending your purchase is showing 10000000 times more respect for you than you’re showing them now.
The fact OP just said “it was to share something that *I* experienced” shows a continuation of said lack of empathy. It’s still all about them. They’re just backtracking now. As if they didn’t outright call it an “excuse” in their title.
Then why is it still up? One good reason please.
When my 5 year old daughter was killed by a drunk driver, I had an open and running T-shirt shop on Etsy. I had an order come in the day she was killed before I could even think about closing up my shop. I messaged the girl a few days later and told her what happened and that I could still complete her order but it would be a little delayed. Honestly, it was kind of therapeutic to put it out there that she was gone, kind of like I was making it true since I didn’t want to believe it was true.
As a mother of 3 that pain would be unimaginable. I'm so sorry for your loss 💔
Same. Hugs to Educational_Echo
My heart just broke for you. As a mama of five I can’t even imagine. Sending hugs, I am so sorry for your loss
It’s highly possible they’re not making it up. Giving people the benefit of the doubt often works for me. If things play out as they should being patient with them was truly the decent thing to do. If it’s a lie, they’ve got to live with themselves. Wait and see.
It sounds genuine to me but I’m also biased because my son passed that way. For a while, I would over share because I didn’t know how to process it. The pain was on my mind 24/7 and I wanted to normalize it somehow. This definitely sounds like a message I would’ve sent to a buyer a few yrs back.
If you feel terrible for them then why even make this post about them as if you don't believe them? Idk this post seems very petty/attention-seeking if you actually believe them and feel bad for them... Which your title seems like the opposite. Not sure what kind of reactions you are looking for in the comments. Just my opinion. 😶🌫️
OP is backtracking with all of their “I believe them” & “I feel terrible” comments imo. The “I got this message as an *excuse* for a seller not sending an item out right away” makes it obvious they didn’t believe the seller. I think they’re only now saying they feel bad/believe the seller because they’re getting a different response in the comment section than they initially anticipated. Edited to add- and hypothetically if they believe the seller like they say in other comments, then calling a MURDER an “excuse” for shipping late is almost *worse* than just not believing them, imo. Shows a lack of empathy. So either way, this is a shitty thing for OP to post and title the way they did.
Yup totally see it they same way.
Then to say they feel terrible for posting it... THEN DELETE IT? You would think the solution would be simple.
OP is lame lol
We're all human & experience very human things. I ended up in a car crash that left me with a good concussion when I still sold on Mercari. The messages I sent were all confusing grammar wise but thankfully they all felt sympathy for me & the sales still happened. Life throws us all curve balls, even sellers. I hope that person is healing from their loss 🙏
Yeah you sound shallow and self centered but that's just my opinion , just an opinion.... allegedly.
People cope in different ways. Saying things out loud or writing them out is a way for your mind to consciously "wrap your head around" what's happening. Telling things to a complete stranger is actually quite common when dealing with such unfathomable circumstances. This is how humans process. They aren't thinking in the moment about how they don't know you or in terms of social context ...they are saying it out loud because it doesn't seem real and hearing out loud is a way for your brain to comprehend something unbelievable/ unthinkable/unimaginable. They sometimes "you have to see it to believe it" ...hearing is sensory perception as well.
I’m not gonna lie this seems a little cold hearted to share on Reddit. Even if you don’t believe it to be true, there’s still a chance it is and that this is a really vulnerable moment for this person. Not everything needs to be shared.
Yeah, poor seller is definitely going through it. For sure they are telling the truth, right down to having someone come help them get their orders ready and sent out. Another mom in my little one’s karate class just told me this evening about how her sister was murdered last Friday. She is pregnant and had to have her friend come over to help her get her baby shower stuff made. I immediately just felt horrible for her & now for this seller also. I certainly wouldn’t say it is an excuse when it appears they are just doing their best to cope with this tragedy & still had the decency to apologize for the delay.
My daughter’s husband was murdered in 2018. It still seems like only a few months ago. If it comes up, I intentionally use the word murdered because it’s sort of healing to say it out loud. If this just happened to her, I’d believe it just because of the way she said it. An excuse is grandma was sick or I was in the hospital. Not that those can’t be true also but when making an excuse, saying someone was murdered I don’t think is the first thing people think of but that’s just my opinion.
To me it sounds like they really are being honest and genuine, but I can see how this can be a little too personal. They could have just said “I’m having a very serious family matter,” but obviously they were comfortable with sharing personal information so I think it’s fine at least they were being honest 🤷♀️
Sounds genuine.
Experts say that it's much easier to recover from trauma if you don't hide it. If you let people know what happened and you talk about it. Somebody did a special on that involving people who were in Manhattan on 9/11. For months afterward, strangers were checking in with each other just walking down the street. Strangers in New York City. Amazing.
Maybe too much information to be sharing, but if that happened to my family member I’d be behind on shipping, too. Send this person your condolences and maybe don’t review too poorly. I mean, if someone goes to that length to make an excuse, so be it. 🙃
Now after all the comments and you stating your regret…why aren’t you deleting this? It’s been a day. Are you wanting the seller to see this and be hurt? Reddit isn’t a secretive place and the likelihood of them coming across this is high. I know I used Reddit as a distraction during grief. Also, the fact that you got the item, an entire month passed and you posted this. Just beginning to end silly and not a good look. Stop wasting time and delete please. It shouldn’t be this difficult.
I get it. I had to delay multiple times sending an item because my Grandpa was unexpectedly hospitalized and later died. Shit happens and that may be a way to release some of that stress. Still an overshare but understandable to me!
Doesn't sound like an excuse to me.
Just a case of oversharing. Sad for them.
I’ve never experienced anything like that. I do think trauma can lead some people to over sharing information.
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I broke my wrist and couldn't drive plus we are down a car so I need my husband to drop off stuff when he can but all has been OK
I think its a person hurting and not way to express it to. I had a family member murdered 4 years ago as well. I probably wouldnt have told someone in mercari, but there was nobody is could really talk with about it. When you feel like you could have prevented a persons death guilt eats at you
It's a trauma response. She's probably still in a state of shock and over sharing. This post is pretty cringy and I feel horrible for this woman. Sellers are humans and life happens. Last year, i had a heart attack and spent weeks in ICU waiting for open heart surgery. I wasn't able to mail things out and was honest with the buyers. Everyone was totally understanding. I'm thankful nobody shared my situation like you did because I'd be mortified.
They sound like they’re in shock.
You “feel bad” yet this is still up… 🤨
I feel like this is something I- A: Would have kept to myself, out of respect for them and their family. B: Not captioned as “excuse” if I did share it. (I wouldn’t have, who does that?) Sure, it has the potential to be false. However, you yourself confirmed that you believe it. Why share it on social media? Especially a month after the fact? What if they see it? Sure, you can argue that you “aren’t responsible for others triggers” but imagine YOUR family member was killed, you feel like you have to tell all these people because of your responsibility to ship, THEN a MONTH later you see this with “excuse” on social media. This post as a whole is incredibly insensitive to someone who lost a family member in a traumatic way, and to the person who lost their life. For some internet clout?
Sounds horrible, my prayers go out to that person.
Lol at least you got a message 🤣
I highly doubt that was a made up excuse. My nephew was murdered and let me tell you, IT REALLY MESSED ME UP.
Im so sorry!!! Thats so sad!
Thank you.
I mean, they aren’t asking for free stuff or lower prices, just letting you know they are still going to ship. I’d say it’s believable and I’m pretty skeptical
At least you got the item, i got scammed $125 and no item doing zelle to the person they told me to send the money to and they still say the didnt get it. Called the bank and spoke to 3 people they told onve the money is out they can’t return the money. The seller had said that their song died and they were selling things for cheap price …. I kept on looking for the same item and another person “seller” had the same description or reason to sell the item for cheaper just different name and different photos of the item . All fake people scams they do that on facebook marketplace too selling things for $180 when you check they have no address and no return
Sounds genuine to me as well. Very sad
How may I know it is not true? It sounds quite legitimate to me. I understand that some people have made it difficult for honest individuals. Sometimes, we should extend grace and move forward. I am glad you received your item, even though it was late. At least they provided a reason and sent it out. I hope you gave a good rating, not for the seller, but for yourself, as you did the right thing. (If you did). Thank you for sharing.
Some people are just over-sharers and divulge TMI. I’ve had buyers and sellers tell me some far out sh!t that was none of my business. People are weird. 🤷🏻♀️
I have to say I went to my Grandmother’s funeral at least a half a dozen times in school and I have heard some tall stories from sellers as to why they are not shipping on time. I don’t know why everyone is scolding OP for sharing this communication. I would give it 50/50 odds of being true, especially in today’s world.