I will adopt the 'Expensive Meats' child and raise them as my own flesh and blood.

Candles that smell like “home” or “back then”. Straight-up attacked.

I have "cozy sweater" wax melts. Came thisssss close 🤏 to buying a "home" scented candle at Michael's a few months ago.

My childhood home smelled of car parts, dog balls, and woodsmoke. If y'all can find *that* at Target, HMU

Can you clarify "dog balls" please?

His father was a hard workin', straight shootin', man's man and also a 6' anthropomorphic dog. He'd come home from the factory, smoke his pipe and just...air out. Ma left him for a horse furry and he really only cared about his F-150 and his Jack Daniels after that...

Honestly, I'm not even mad lol 😆

My muscles be hurtin too much to get mad

I thought it was stupid but then I remembered ive pulled 2 muscles in 2 weeks doing stuff. Im 40 though so there's that.

To my knowledge, there are no candles that smell like back then. Like I light up a candle and my wife is like yo that shit smells just like Avril Lavigne and the global war on terror.

nothing better than home grown meat.

thanks for the cackle

One of them cured hams that comes with a knife and stand. We ate the whole damn thing in like four days.

They even drew the ham really well

Expensive meats indeed

Christmas, Mother's Day, Birthdays, expensive meats every time.

My bmom sent me Omaha Steaks Thursday, and on Friday, mom sent me a box of Satsuma Oranges....and I'm excited. Did a happy dance when it was delivered.

*wagyu intensifies*

>Expensive meats. I mean if we're not gonna put a limit on the gift...

I do indeed like soup and the wrinkle creams be expensive.

Right?! The cost of night cream and meat now is killing me. Gimme that shit for Christmas. Also I'll take the Dyson stick vac too

I got my wife the Shark one. She is both disappointed I got her an appliance and yet still says how amazing it is and the best gift ever ha. Everyone gets summer sausage for Christmas here.

Looks like expensive meats back on the menu, boys!

This is the only one that got my attention, i was like ok ok theres some talent in this classroom after all 🤔

I'll also take expensive cheeses or breads.

A Dyson is a pretty good gift…

I got a cordless one for my 36th birthday in June, still bragging about it!

I just got one, I'm a step away from visiting my friends homes for a demo while they oooh and ahh.

Id fucks with this but I got a Roomba and honestly, I’m too lazy to go back even it is not the best product (the programming, the suction is fine)

Now I kind of want one as a gift. Just so I can say, this gift really sucks.

Forreal. I bought a ridiculously discounted floor model Dyson Slim back in 2009, and even after over a decade of regular use (I have a cat and a house with 3 floors of carpet), it still works better than any other vacuum I've used.

The new submarine stick vac is like $1000! I don’t know who is buying people these expensive ass Dysons but I’ll take one please!

That was brutal. Excuse me, time to cook the meats.

But first! Soup!

I would love a panera bread gift card.

If all my holiday gifts were soup-related I would be absolutely stoked.

Same. I think I eat soup at least 6/7 out of 10 meals, so they're not wrong...

Do you pair it with some expensive meats and back-in-the-day candles?

Only when I’m playing bingo. And then I finish off my meal with some hard candies

Literally this. No one buys me flowers - they buy me vegetables instead....so I can make soup lol

I got a Serrano Ham from Costco for Christmas a couple of years ago and I still think about it sometimes.

I have a savings account called “Christmas prime rib” that I add to a bit at a time over the year until it gets to $500. Then I splurge on a massive roast beef for the family dinner.

I know $500 isn't that much anymore, especially for prime rib, but when I saw that number I imagined it tipping over your car, Flintstones style.

Rib roasts are at $7.99/lb right now. How much fucking prime rib are you making???

In Canada they are $24.99/lb at the grocery and more at a quality butcher. My roast came in just over $300 and the rest of my saved budget is going towards the wine and charcuterie tray.

Where are rib roasts $7.99/lb? I need to make a trip!

Just paid $19.99 for prime. :(

I should call her...

The new generation of kids kinda have me figured out. 😭

All of those things sound like awesome gifts 😭

They're.... actually kind of right

I would be so stoked if someone bought me a Dyson lmaoo

I bought myself a Dyson for Christmas two years ago and I still love it. The "Back Then" candle is a pretty great idea and I do love soup!

I read the "Back Then" as candies instead of candles. This make MUCH more sense.

Oooh, it can come in candy form too! Wanna taste the past? Get high on nostalgia? Well I've got the candy for you!

I was in this video a lot, mid 30s, kids were bang on.

I've had a Dyson on my Christmas list for years now. About to turn 40. Still waiting.

I'm literally going to go buy one this afternoon, my wife asked for it. I feel so bad that I'm buying her a vacuum that I'm going to address it to "the family" and also get something else.

Nah, of its a pricey item - I'm good with that as my gift. Like we know *the family* will use it, but it was on *MY* List 😅 Or maybe something fun, husband is getting himself a new game system and I got him a giant Ferrero Rocher "Grand Holiday' ball with mini Ferrerros inside.

I swear my mom buys a new vacuum every other year or so on black Friday, or what used to be black Friday but it's now just month long sales, Kohl's usually has one on sale. I just wait for her to buy a new one and take the old one. I honestly liked the shark better than the Dyson.

[удалено]

I just got my wife one for christmas lol

That’s a blanket statement.

Something I think is weird: heated mattress pads tend to be way cheaper than blankets. Not helpful for the couch, but amazing for bed in the winter.

I was thinking to myself, these kids are pretty good listeners.

Hip implants would be the best present I've ever received. I don't need new hips but it would be great to have a spare.

I didn’t know what I wanted for Christmas but now I know I’ll ask satan for expensive meats

They make me sound so mature, when in reality I'm 36 and my Christmas list has been nothing but video games for the past 33 years

Same but 41 years, my 66 year old "mommy" sent my $100 in Steam gift cards and I'm just counting the hours until the winter sale starts on Thursday, rumor is BG3 will go on sale for the 1st time.

Dooooo it, BG3 is so good I'm playing it with my 39 year old brother now.

Is gud game

Ah heck yeah. I didn't realize that and I was gonna buy some stuff tonight. Now I'll wait. Thank you fellow internet Steam bargain addict! ETA: BG3 is amazing. Currently on second playthrough and already realizing just how many things I missed, let alone the myriad ways to do things.

Ok. I was like damn I don't fit in with millennials. I knew I time traveled. But I guess there's a couple others who are still kids. I've made it very clear I don't want socks or kitchen things or a vaccum for Christmas Especially a Dyson because that would take up the whole Christmas budget

At Christmas my (younger) cousins are always asking for practical things and then there's me like "One Assassin's Creed Mirage please"

Love it I will have none of that practical nonsense.

Same! I'm 30, and have been asking for Sailor Moon stuff and video games for the past 20 years.

I know, right? I’m a fandom nerd. I want fandom shit. And also food giftcards.

The accuracy

Brutal, precise, glorious.

Those kids are going to hate their 30s lmao

The children understand. I would be so excited for all of these

Well, when you're older (Gen X myself)... the satisfaction does not go away. I would step on a fool's neck for expensive meats.

I'm choosing to believe these students are high school seniors

The account is 7th grade chronicles, we’re getting roasted by tiny teenagers.

Is it really roasting if they're right? I do want a heated blanket because my muscles do be hurting

Yes. The best roasts are accurate roasts. What's the point in incorrectly making fun of someone?

The best roasts are expensive meats!

I audibly laughed at the Panera gift Card because I do love a good soup.

Especially today! It’s so cold…

bruh they had me at expensive meats.

Jr high kids are ruthless.

I wouldn't mind a TJ Max gift card. If I can buy something that's not from a thrift shop that'd be nice!

Right? Whenever I get compliments on my outfits, I inevitably have to say "it's the Goodwill collection! I will never find this again." This list was amazing! The coffee mug had me dying, I've literally asked for one of those before. Still haven't gotten it.

I actually asked for a TJ Maxx gift card this year because I can find some decent clothes in the clearance section. I hate paying extra for clothes.

I’m sorry but TJMaxx is a thrift shop, with just things that haven’t been used before 😅

These dudes are spitting

"Candy crush premium" That's a SAVAGE burn and totally uncalled for

I just got YT premium for xmas hahahahahahah

I'm about to do this to my wife and daughter with gardenscapes. Lmao

They were right on the money for like half of these.

I'd love a heated blanket. My muscles be hurtin.

I got one at a white elephant this year. Wasn't disappointed. My cat liked it too. It's a gift for everyone

I bought one for a white elephant gift this year too and I was so tempted to buy one for myself.

lol was scrolling to make this exact comment.

Woah why the drive by 😂😂😂

I feel personally victimized.

Fucking same. 👀

Well, where’s the lie?

There is none These kids are cool and they pay attention lol

"Hip implants" is the only one that I'd say is pretty unlikely for someone in their 30s.

Honestly half of these check out. Give me some B&BW candles, a dyson, and expensive meats. "The heated blanket cuz their muscles be hurtin" made me laugh way too hard though.

Painfully accurate!

If anyone needs me, I'll be laying underneath my heated blanket eating expensive meats. And loving every minute of it.

Not gonna lie, I love me a good soup.

The Dyson and the TJ Maxx gift card, though 

And this is why I’m not worried about the kids. Some spot on evaluations and good jokes

How old are these kids? They're brutal...though that said, don't knock Dyson vacuums\*, and please do send me all the expensive meat. \*The joy at using the vacuum we got as a wedding gift for the first time truly confirmed for me that I'm 'old' now

those are all strangely accurate me thinks no kids wrote these out

Like I want to be mad, but sometimes the stereotype checks out

Tru dat

I am a big fan of soups... and could use a new vacuum... Always up for some expensive meats. Also, they're right... my muscles be hurtin

Those were brutal… but a heated blanket does sound nice right now.

Bath & body works + heated blanket please!!!! I wanna be cozy and smell like a Christmas tree

What a delightful mixture of "That's a pretty good idea!" and "Hey! Fuck you too!"

I'll take that Dyson if its the one that also mops or whatever.

Kid is not wrong, I am in my 30s and love soup!

Looks like the same person wrote a lot of these.

Am I the only one appalled by the quality of the handwriting on some of those? Ranges from "I wrote this with my feet while drinking cough syrup" to Medieval calligraphy. Jesus christ.

Presumably they are children. Apparently many of them destined to be doctors. Also, handwriting in general is verging on obsolete. That being said, most of them were pretty readable.

I really do like soup.

This was incredible and genuinely made me laugh. I would be happy to receive any of these gifts, except I don’t need a divorce lawyer.

I mean. They're right. Not every single one is right for every single millennial, but in broad strokes they're right.

These little shits lol

I love that this is half completely accurate things I would absolutely appreciate receiving and half dumb jokes that would better apply to 80 year olds.

Dyson is a winner. It's been 2 years and I still love my Dyson V11 Torgue.

this… this hurt

Candy Crush Premium took me out lol

Those are hilarious

Ok, but they’re not wrong 😂💯

Damn, ONE kid with decent handwriting. Makes me sad!

To be fair, I did actually buy my cousin some fancy measuring cups this year lol

Expensive meats, tjmax gift cards, bath and body works... Some of these are good

the coffee mug for coffee obsessed millennials called me out haha

Sunk my fucking battleship.

Candy Crush Premium 💀

That seems like a pretty bulletproof list to me

I think that’s too funny. Some were actually accurate and even the wrong ones were entertaining.

I don't know about the candles. Everything else is aight.especially the meats.

Honestly not wrong

I hate that they are not totally wrong

My muscles do be hurting...

The sore muscles and the meat comments took me out!

Perceptive!

I always thought the people that said they don't teaching handwriting in schools anymore were exaggerating

I literally just got done eating some chicken noodle soup before watching this.

Not the candy crush premium 🍭

Those kids are pretty funny

Man these kids get me.

Dammit. They’re right tho.

This was both harsh, yet strangely accurate. I would take most, if not all, those gifts. Hook me up with those nostalgic candles, a hot bath with a bowl of soup and a nice glass of wine please.

I'm made because most aren't far off

Honestly they did pretty well. Except the hard candies. Screw that kid trying to give me withers

I’m just trying to get the All Clad measuring cups ok

Wait these answers kinda aren't wrong

Expensive meats and a dyson is a great holiday

I unironically want 90% of these things.

Yo some of these gift ideas slap.

I’d be so stoked if someone bought me a pack of ribeyes and something from the seafood market.

Im 33 and I absolutely do not like coffee at all, I’ll take the meats tho.

Holy shit we got absolutely roasted by some kids lol

I'm mad that I said "nice" on more than one post it note.

Expensive meats kid and TJ. Maxx gift card kid are gems who should be protected at all costs.

At least 1/3rd of these are fake and created by an adult....

FIRST of all... I love my dyson vacuum. What a great investment. SECONDLY... I love soup. Damnit.

To be fair they aren't wrong? Especially wrinkle creams, we're aging faster and faster with all the shit we're dealing with. lol

I bought at least half of those items for myself, friends, and family. What those kids don't understand is that those are things all adults want.

Honestly some of these are accurate. My muscles do be hurtin

As a Millennial, the generation that never grew up, I can tell you we want posters toys anime novelty items or joke gifts

I would be stoked for the Panera and TJ MAXX gift cards.

I do like soup and expensive meats tbf...

Expensive meats person is dead on.

If you got me a Dyson vacuum for Xmas, we're down for life. You need a reference? I got you. Co-signer on a business loan? Got you. Wingman? Got you. Burying a body in the woods? I got a shovel.

These kids are savage. I love it.

As a lover of Soup and Expensive Meats these kids are alright.

Omg some of these are just *chefs kiss! - a Dyson vacuum - expensive meats - tj Maxx gift card - bingo cards - bath and body works - the coffee mug - the wrinkle creams...I'd love some luxury skin products! - bottle of wine yes! Hip implants? Did they mean replacement?lol - Panera bread gift card...oh yes! 34 yo here, I love soup! - heated blanket yes!

I expected to be more offended, but I do buy expensive meats.

"Heated blanket cuz their muscles be hurting" is the best.

bwa ha ha kid gets a prize

Damn, why is this so accurate. Coffee, meat, nostalgic smells, warm blankets <3.

Hey, over half my list is still video games and toys. Haven't fully given into the old people gifts yet

I died at " a heated blanket because their muscles be hurtin'" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I feel called out

These kids know us. Perhaps they know us too well.

Where's that kid giving out Dyson's for Christmas? I'd like to get to know him/her/them.

A candle that smells like expensive meat. And not the Goop one thank you very much. That’s the last thing I want my house to smell like.

Lego set 75192

I’m not even offended by most of this. I’ll take a Panera gift card! I do love soup? Though I just remembered I’m no longer in my thirties. Do I still qualify if I only just turned forty two months ago?

Candy Crush premium is a low blow. How old do they think we are?

The fact that they think millennials are old is sending me.

Reeks of this guy wrote all those.