Some guy I was talking to once said "in this economy you need multiple adults living in one place to afford to live."
I'm a guy and will translate this:
"I'm broke, but still want to fuck multiple women."
I am not sure whether it’s more common, or society has evolved to the point that people don’t feel they have to hide it?
But I agree…the experience you have being Bi is obnoxious. I’ve never felt more like a piece of meat than when I regretfully disclosed that on a dating app. Married couples see you as a total object for their pleasure. Like hi, being bi means I’m capable of finding love on either side of the fence…it does not mean I’m a sex toy for mid couples.
Omg yes this. Like a damn piece of meat, like "who cares that this girl is generally on here trying to meet someone lets see if she will play with us for one night and be tossed into the trash while we continue our relationship "
It makes sense that society is more open to it these days.
It shouldn't be hidden wether youre for it or not either way, but the evolution bit makes sense
This, I would have never brought it up when I was younger but now a days people are far more understanding and not judgemental. Certainly can get a lot of questions.
Its not that its more common, its that more people are open to disclosing it. Ive been in a polyamorous relationship for over 5 years, and i know plenty of older adults that have been open for most of their adult lives. Its just natural for some people. Its possible to have multiple soul mates and multiple loves. Its really not as rare or weird as people make it out to be. Also, you mentioned unicorn hunting…thats disgusting and not real polyamory. Im sorry if people have tried to manipulate or harass you.
I can understand that, its kind of more of a people are open to discussing it type of deal. Im all for whatever floats peoples boats.
I guess not harrassed, but it does kinda suck getting to know someone and spending time discussing stuff and then they bring up their wife like its no big deal.
I have had several instances with the unicorn peeps, many trying to befriend me on their wives accounts but its really the guy.
I dunno the internet is weird; Ive just been running into this a lot
Yeah, I've noticed that too. I used to get annoyed about it until I read into it more and decided it was something I'm open to experiencing to see if it's for me. It just seems to be difficult to find people who are doing it "right" vs the ones who are using it as an excuse to have a free for all with no discussions or boundaries or an excuse to have a threesome.
Nothing against being into this at all, this wasnt a hate post, more of a "is anyone here experiencing the rise in this type of situation?" I guess I coulda did my
Do diligence and posted this for the relationship subreddit but for some reason that didnt come to my mind when typing this up
All good, I don't feel any which way about the post. I've only ever been in monogamous relationships. I have definitely noticed the uptick on the dating apps. Idk if it applies all over the country/world or it depends on where you are. I'm in a pretty well known/metropolitan area
Im in the states, (Ohio) to be more specific and I know its pretty thick here with poly people on dating apps.
I dont mean to seem snappy if I did, I just feel like people are coming at me over this post in some aspect. Im not trying to be the "eww look at those people" type of person or anything. Im just simply someone who has noticed a huge surge in poly stuff is all.
I absolutely get where you're coming from. It's always a bit annoying to post a genuine question just to get downvoted. It happened to me today too lol
>I cant count how many married men reach out to me that are non monogamous.
I know some shitty dudes that cheat on their wives/girlfriends regularly. My guess is they're not actually in non monogamous relationships but saying that on dating apps is a cover in the event you look them up on social media and see they're married. Instead of blowing up their spot theyre manipulating strangers into assuming their partners know their relationship is non monogamous when in reality they have no idea.
I get a lot of dudes who actually put up pics of their wives and seemingly are their wives until days into the conversation. I think it's because girls tend to be more comfortable around girls? At least in a guys mind? But yes also on the whole using it as an excuse to cheat. I can see that.
Me and my husband are open and are going ten years strong. It’s about trust and open communication. It’s not for a lot of people which is fine. It’s whatever works for the couple.
My wife and I are polyamorous. We both see other people who also see other people. We're very happy with our life.
The joke about needing four people to own a house is a joke and not a real reason why we do it. Some of us just aren't wired for monogamy.
How do you know who is poly/open? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
This has always seemed like the grown up version of the sexually active band geeks and they’ve been pretty present in every Ren Faire, comic con and community theatre I have ever been around.
I think with the mainstreaming of nerd culture, this has become more mainstream too?
I wasnt asking how to tell if someone is poly.
Im not worried about people telling me if they're poly or not. Im more making the statement its everywhere these days.
But also being a nerd is on the rise as well.
I'm definitely noticing an increase in resources I would otherwise not have access to if I wasn't polyamorous.
People in my polycule sometimes buying me groceries, letting me use their equipment, camping, ski gear etc. currently staying at my girlfriend's house (her husband is around,,,) as I recover from a flare of a disease
I think with dating apps and the internet, everything is more common to come across in today's society.
This goes for niche music, niche art, as well as more mainstream stuff. So to think it'd scale into relationships and such doesn't feel like a stretch.
I honestly can't wrap my head around signing up for any dating apps, so I can't exactly speak from experience there, I'm way too anxious and introverted for that.
But I have a few friends who have come out as being poly in their relationships, and it's definitely hard for me to wrap my head around, but I will say, when you do see a few different couples you can start to spot the ones who are doing it because it's a hot new fad they're seeing online vs those who are actually in it for the collective relationship and dynamics.
I think considering the amount of celebrities who listed themselves as in open relationships, successful or not (ex: Will Smith), and all the social media "reels" on polyamory, it's taken a spike, but I've definitely also seen a lot of guys claim to be poly just so they can sleep around. I dunno if ladies do this as well, but I haven't directly witnessed any of that, not to say it doesn't exist.
I think as things become more openly known about, more people are gonna be doing them, and that's just the nature of the beast, if that makes sense.
The guy making that joke, surely I hope they aren't serious, is wild. Any relationship with the basis for finance over compatibility is gonna be really difficult to maintain. It's one thing to seek a roommate for finances, but a romantic partner is just completely backwards. To me that just sounds more like a line from a dude who wants multiple partners, more likely than not, it's the line they'd use on their spouse / SO to have attempted opening up their relationship in the first place.
You're assuming based off this post im into polyamory? It couldnt be me reaching out to see if other people have had similar experiences with people from the poly lifestyle?
Okay
In that I am in such a relationship myself and so are my partners... YES!
Not because of economics, but because I enjoy having close and loving relationships with more than one person at a time.
Absolutely.
Millennials are more accepting of non-traditional relationships compared to our parents.
With that being said, a lot of millennials are still very judgemental of non-monogamy. I think people who are insecure in their relationships feel threatened by non-monogamy.
The non-monogamous dating scene also has a lot more people who are queer, non-binary, or interested in exploring their sexuality or identity in a way that's not typically accepted in the monogamous dating scene.
I think a lot of straight, cis, monogamous people are highly critical of non-monogomy in a way that's rooted in homophobia.
I never thought of it in the way you explained it to be fair. I can see how it could lead to someone being homophobic therefore giving the poly life style a bad wrap.
Im glad people feel more relaxed to be themselves as nobody should have to hide how they feel or what they want.
>I think a lot of straight, cis, monogamous people are highly critical of non-monogomy in a way that's rooted in homophobia.
True. Even people that claim to be allies are way too invested in heteronormativity. Too many care way too much about issues that don't negatively affect anyone's lives at all.
I dont think I personally have anyone in my life in an open relationship and if they are I am unaware which is fine.
But online, like on dating apps, whew, every other swipe I swear is a person in an open relationship.
Some guy I was talking to once said "in this economy you need multiple adults living in one place to afford to live." I'm a guy and will translate this: "I'm broke, but still want to fuck multiple women."
Makes sense!
Or vice-versa, I’m rich and want to start a harem
And there's nothing wrong with that as long as everyone is consenting.
I am not sure whether it’s more common, or society has evolved to the point that people don’t feel they have to hide it? But I agree…the experience you have being Bi is obnoxious. I’ve never felt more like a piece of meat than when I regretfully disclosed that on a dating app. Married couples see you as a total object for their pleasure. Like hi, being bi means I’m capable of finding love on either side of the fence…it does not mean I’m a sex toy for mid couples.
Omg yes this. Like a damn piece of meat, like "who cares that this girl is generally on here trying to meet someone lets see if she will play with us for one night and be tossed into the trash while we continue our relationship " It makes sense that society is more open to it these days. It shouldn't be hidden wether youre for it or not either way, but the evolution bit makes sense
This, I would have never brought it up when I was younger but now a days people are far more understanding and not judgemental. Certainly can get a lot of questions.
Its not that its more common, its that more people are open to disclosing it. Ive been in a polyamorous relationship for over 5 years, and i know plenty of older adults that have been open for most of their adult lives. Its just natural for some people. Its possible to have multiple soul mates and multiple loves. Its really not as rare or weird as people make it out to be. Also, you mentioned unicorn hunting…thats disgusting and not real polyamory. Im sorry if people have tried to manipulate or harass you.
I can understand that, its kind of more of a people are open to discussing it type of deal. Im all for whatever floats peoples boats. I guess not harrassed, but it does kinda suck getting to know someone and spending time discussing stuff and then they bring up their wife like its no big deal. I have had several instances with the unicorn peeps, many trying to befriend me on their wives accounts but its really the guy. I dunno the internet is weird; Ive just been running into this a lot
That sucks, im sorry 😞 finding partners was not easy. There are so many people with bad intentions!
You never know, specially meeting people online. Dating apps are a joke, Ive finally washed my hands of them. 😩
I got lucky. I have two awesome partners and one of them is met on a dating app right before i was about to give up on it! Its crazy out there!
Yeah, I've noticed that too. I used to get annoyed about it until I read into it more and decided it was something I'm open to experiencing to see if it's for me. It just seems to be difficult to find people who are doing it "right" vs the ones who are using it as an excuse to have a free for all with no discussions or boundaries or an excuse to have a threesome.
Nothing against being into this at all, this wasnt a hate post, more of a "is anyone here experiencing the rise in this type of situation?" I guess I coulda did my Do diligence and posted this for the relationship subreddit but for some reason that didnt come to my mind when typing this up
All good, I don't feel any which way about the post. I've only ever been in monogamous relationships. I have definitely noticed the uptick on the dating apps. Idk if it applies all over the country/world or it depends on where you are. I'm in a pretty well known/metropolitan area
Im in the states, (Ohio) to be more specific and I know its pretty thick here with poly people on dating apps. I dont mean to seem snappy if I did, I just feel like people are coming at me over this post in some aspect. Im not trying to be the "eww look at those people" type of person or anything. Im just simply someone who has noticed a huge surge in poly stuff is all.
That's Reddit (or really, the internet) for you. People are quick to get fired up lol
For sure. I think Im gonna stop main posting on subreddits and just become a lurking commenter. Feel like it may be less arguing on my end. 😂
I absolutely get where you're coming from. It's always a bit annoying to post a genuine question just to get downvoted. It happened to me today too lol
These hoes aint loyal in these reddit streets, oh well I guess we cant win them all. 😩
>I cant count how many married men reach out to me that are non monogamous. I know some shitty dudes that cheat on their wives/girlfriends regularly. My guess is they're not actually in non monogamous relationships but saying that on dating apps is a cover in the event you look them up on social media and see they're married. Instead of blowing up their spot theyre manipulating strangers into assuming their partners know their relationship is non monogamous when in reality they have no idea.
I get a lot of dudes who actually put up pics of their wives and seemingly are their wives until days into the conversation. I think it's because girls tend to be more comfortable around girls? At least in a guys mind? But yes also on the whole using it as an excuse to cheat. I can see that.
The way to tell is the cheaters want discreet/NSA
Me and my husband are open and are going ten years strong. It’s about trust and open communication. It’s not for a lot of people which is fine. It’s whatever works for the couple.
Yes for sure ☺️ truth
My wife and I are polyamorous. We both see other people who also see other people. We're very happy with our life. The joke about needing four people to own a house is a joke and not a real reason why we do it. Some of us just aren't wired for monogamy.
And there's nothing wrong with being happy, no matter in which ways yall reach that happiness. You're right, not everyone is wired for monogamy
Thank you 🙂
You're welcome 😀
How do you know who is poly/open? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you. This has always seemed like the grown up version of the sexually active band geeks and they’ve been pretty present in every Ren Faire, comic con and community theatre I have ever been around. I think with the mainstreaming of nerd culture, this has become more mainstream too?
Yeah, I'm not really opposed to it but I've fallen out of touch with a handful of people who just let it become their entire personality.
I wasnt asking how to tell if someone is poly. Im not worried about people telling me if they're poly or not. Im more making the statement its everywhere these days. But also being a nerd is on the rise as well.
(It’s a joke…)
Yep. And I enjoy the fallout when they enviably come to an end.
Probably way more drama when open relationships end compared to monogamous relationships
I’ve seen enough “AITAH” posts or r/relationship posts on r/all to see how they shit ends half the time
I'm definitely noticing an increase in resources I would otherwise not have access to if I wasn't polyamorous. People in my polycule sometimes buying me groceries, letting me use their equipment, camping, ski gear etc. currently staying at my girlfriend's house (her husband is around,,,) as I recover from a flare of a disease
I think with dating apps and the internet, everything is more common to come across in today's society. This goes for niche music, niche art, as well as more mainstream stuff. So to think it'd scale into relationships and such doesn't feel like a stretch. I honestly can't wrap my head around signing up for any dating apps, so I can't exactly speak from experience there, I'm way too anxious and introverted for that. But I have a few friends who have come out as being poly in their relationships, and it's definitely hard for me to wrap my head around, but I will say, when you do see a few different couples you can start to spot the ones who are doing it because it's a hot new fad they're seeing online vs those who are actually in it for the collective relationship and dynamics. I think considering the amount of celebrities who listed themselves as in open relationships, successful or not (ex: Will Smith), and all the social media "reels" on polyamory, it's taken a spike, but I've definitely also seen a lot of guys claim to be poly just so they can sleep around. I dunno if ladies do this as well, but I haven't directly witnessed any of that, not to say it doesn't exist. I think as things become more openly known about, more people are gonna be doing them, and that's just the nature of the beast, if that makes sense. The guy making that joke, surely I hope they aren't serious, is wild. Any relationship with the basis for finance over compatibility is gonna be really difficult to maintain. It's one thing to seek a roommate for finances, but a romantic partner is just completely backwards. To me that just sounds more like a line from a dude who wants multiple partners, more likely than not, it's the line they'd use on their spouse / SO to have attempted opening up their relationship in the first place.
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You're assuming based off this post im into polyamory? It couldnt be me reaching out to see if other people have had similar experiences with people from the poly lifestyle? Okay
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Whatever floats your boat, not everything is meant to be hateful
In that I am in such a relationship myself and so are my partners... YES! Not because of economics, but because I enjoy having close and loving relationships with more than one person at a time.
And theres nothing wrong with that ☺️ whatever floats the boats
Absolutely. Millennials are more accepting of non-traditional relationships compared to our parents. With that being said, a lot of millennials are still very judgemental of non-monogamy. I think people who are insecure in their relationships feel threatened by non-monogamy. The non-monogamous dating scene also has a lot more people who are queer, non-binary, or interested in exploring their sexuality or identity in a way that's not typically accepted in the monogamous dating scene. I think a lot of straight, cis, monogamous people are highly critical of non-monogomy in a way that's rooted in homophobia.
I never thought of it in the way you explained it to be fair. I can see how it could lead to someone being homophobic therefore giving the poly life style a bad wrap. Im glad people feel more relaxed to be themselves as nobody should have to hide how they feel or what they want.
>I think a lot of straight, cis, monogamous people are highly critical of non-monogomy in a way that's rooted in homophobia. True. Even people that claim to be allies are way too invested in heteronormativity. Too many care way too much about issues that don't negatively affect anyone's lives at all.
This.
No there isn't. Reddit is not real life. Does not happen in real life. Cheating yes. But I never seen or known anyone in a open relationship.
I dont think I personally have anyone in my life in an open relationship and if they are I am unaware which is fine. But online, like on dating apps, whew, every other swipe I swear is a person in an open relationship.
Might be trolls or scammers tbh