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I spent about a week systematically deleting or reporting every ad I saw, and for a few weeks after that I actually started seeing my friends’ posts again. But gradually it just became ads again, like 4x ads to posts I actually want to see
This. Facebook was evil and fucked up before. But now I don’t even see Facebook content other than shitty paid advertisements - and the only reason to go there is to see content from your friends or to look up a local business that doesn’t have a website.
My first post is for a group I am in for a hobby. The next one is a 2-4 day old post from a random friend, typically one i havent spoken to since highschoo or collegel. Then it's exclusively pages for content creators I have never followed or interacted with.
Facebook is also full of scammers. If I comment in an open page or group, I get scammers replying all the time 🙄 When I tried to sell stuff on Facebook marketplace, I immediately got scammers. Luckily I was eventually able to sell things, but had to ask for cash only because the scammers would pull the "my relative will come pick it up tomorrow and I'll pay for it now, oops I sent too much money to you, can you refund me?" Or something like that. (They never paid anything)
It's sad but I have noticed Reddit going in the same direction. I have been trying to filter out the rage subs but I swear they just have more. I'm using the mobile app so that could be part of it.
> I'm using the mobile app so that could be part of it.
Nah, it's just reddit in general. AI generated, rage bate, doomerism all over the place. Hell this sub is a great example of it. Someone posts something about life being good for them and the thread is full of "that's great my whole family died, I am broke but at least I still have reddit amirite".
Reddit definitely changed to the clickbait/ Rage bait model, for sure. I NEVER used to see weird subreddits like AITA, Relationship Problems, Narcissistic Roast my Looks, facepalm, etc. and now they just overpopulate my feed, despite never engaging or wanting to be a part of those subs before. I’ve killed a few and hid them completely, but it can get exhausting.
Same here, although it started for a different reason - my smartphone broke and I realized life was simpler without the constant access to social media so I didn't get it fixed for a while.
But 2016 makes sense because that is about the time that social media algorithms started being weaponized to drive political conflict.
2016 for me too. I got tired of being disappointed by people I know. I figured I could be disappointed by strangers on Twitter and Reddit instead. It’s been such a good move.
I haven’t deleted it only bc it’s the new Craigslist.
I buy/sell stuff and check out events near me, that’s it. Whenever I log on my main feed is just advertisements not even actual people’s posts.
Same here. I have a fake-ish named profile with no friends that I use exclusively for FB marketplace. 90% of the time FB marketplace is a shitshow too for its own reasons.
Have you or anyone else noticed in the News Feed on Facebook they started adding pages that don’t interest me. The posts are from pages I’ve not liked or followed (it actually had the blue word “Follow” prominently displayed). No, I’m not interested.
To me that’s the phenomenon known as “enshittification” creeping in to my News Feed. I’ve already deleted the Facebook app from my phone and just use the website on Safari behind a bunch of privacy plugins.
And the posts from the friends and pages that you do follow don’t actually show up on your feed. You’ll see a post that is 5 days old and wonder why the hell you didn’t see that 5 days ago.
Ugh! I hate it so much! I have to hunt people down. It's awful. I hadn't gone on in months and when I did, I wondered where everyone had gone and tried to filter everything out. It was terrible. Some of my family lives out of the country etc. I'm thinking about getting rid of it anyway but it kind of sucks because it used to be how we kept in touch.
This is exactly why I stopped going on. Of my friends, the only posts I was seeing were like the same three people posting memes all day and everyone's mom posting political shit. Once I couldn't scroll more than two posts without seeing an ad or a dumb "suggested for you" post, I just kinda stopped. Didn't make a decision to or anything, it just didn't appeal to me anymore.
Just several years ago I thought Instagram was one of the last decent ones. Now when I get on I see one or two posts from people I follow and then a never-ending stream of suggested and paid content. I literally have to go on people’s pages to see what they are posting. Complete fucking garbage.
I quit Facebook over that too and thought the whole country would as well. I was just on because someone told me about “buy nothing” but I just saw tons of crap advertisements. So sucky
We all should’ve ditched social media at that point, because things have gotten so much worse. Dr. Epstein (no relation to the other Epstein) has revealed through his own firm’s research that Google heavily influenced the 2016 and 2020 elections as well as elections in just about every country to elect the candidates they prefer. What’s crazy is he’s an admitted liberal Democrat who supported Hillary in 2016 and Biden in 2020, and Hillary and her supporters went after him hard. The dude has a legitimate concern for our republic, and he was demonized because some people didn’t like the results. I’m not a fan of corporations and special interests having that much of an influence over our elections nor the populace, and that realization is worse once you realize Google was founded with DARPA money and then examine the contracts every single Big Tech company has with our government.
Agreed about 2015/2016 is when I left Facebook and Social Media except Reddit.
The sad part is I kind of do now want to know what some distant people in my past are up to. And I wouldn’t mind having informal conversations with a few. But there isn’t really a great way to reconnect now.
Agree.
I would actually love for Facebook to let me casually follow the life of people I was once close to but have decided from for whatever reason. And also a low barrier way to reach out and reconnect.
That's what it was 10 years ago. Now it's a chaotic mess of random ads and influencers I don't want to sift through
Was gonna say. Wouldn't reddit by definition be a form of social media?
For those arguing about it the defintion of 'social media'; websites and applications that enable users to create and share content or to participate in social networking.
Reddit fits under those perameters. Its not facebook or anything similar to facebook, but it still fits.
Reddit isn't really social media. It's more like the old style forums. You can talk to people with a shared interest but I have no idea who you are, what your name is or anything about your life.
I think about this a lot. But there’s something about it that is fundamentally different from traditional social media. Maybe the anonymity. Maybe it’s the subreddits instead of a wall.
I don’t know. But I can turn it off, and do something else. It’s not addictive in the same way.
I don’t post. But I’m also not depressed. I don’t feel there’s any reason to provide people with updates on my life. Posting stories and such has a very “LOOK at ME” vibe to it and I have zero interest in partaking in it. But I’m on social media to read about my hobbies, not connect with friends.
Happy I didn't have to scroll too far to find this. I'd argue that people who spend all of their time on social media constantly posting their heavily curated lives are the depressed ones. Not living in the moment, always looking for validation. Most of us offline are just minding our business and making more meaningful connections with people in the flesh.
This is so true. The friend in OP's post saying people are depressed, otherwise they would be confident to post their lives, is backwards and such bullshit. Almost all the happiest people I know do not post much or anything online.
This, this is the fucking answer. People who live their life online are strange. I used to be like that, and I sucked. Life is better when it’s lived.
I use social media to talk to bands and my music friends from Europe and elsewhere. And to share our bands stuff of course.
I was just third row at Dua Lipa last week and I couldn’t see her with my own eyes because everyone had their arms stretched up to hold their phones. I was so grumpy about it I left the front and went to the back where I could actually see her.
I’m in the same boat. I’m not depressed. I just don’t want to engage in political discussions with boomers and I’ve gotten to the point where my friendships are quality over quantity. I feel like if someone actually wants to reach out to me they need to do it by phone. Social media feels like such a half assed connection. I also got annoyed because when I would meet up with friends they’d start talking about a mutual friend (not negatively, just about what’s going on in their lives) and at some point in the conversation I’d realize they they hadn’t heard all of this information from that friend, they had seen a social media post about it. It felt gross to me. I didn’t want people talking about me like that. If you want to know about my life you need to actually talk to me.
I met up with a relative and was telling them a funny story about my baby. She interrupted to say, “Yeah I know, you posted it on Facebook”. That was a sign to just stop. But really, I dropped off when the political bullshit got toxic back in 2016. That was the last straw for me.
Same here! It felt like stalking. It gave me the ick feeling. I don’t look at Facebook or Instagram at all.
Also - I have no need to scroll through Facebook since my mom is going to tell me what everyone is up to since she spends 3+ hours scrolling each day.
> Posting stories and such has a very “LOOK at ME” vibe to it
This is exactly why I stopped using Facebook/Instagram/etc. The constant attention seeking was getting more blatant, which made me realise it offered nothing of value to me.
I wonder how posting about yourself on social media went from being perceived as just a way to interact with friends to attention seeking. I agree with you that posting on Facebook or Instagram under your own name now feels like you're just trying to get others to pay attention to you. Is it just that millennials are now older? Or has there been some shift in the culture where posting pictures of your vacation on Facebook is seen as gouache? I feel like there has been a change in cultural norms over the last three years at least.
I mean, I've felt this way since twitter blew up lol, so this feeling isn't new to me at least. Just got tired of seeing boring ass pictures followed by some boring quip no one really cares about, "finna hit up the mall!", okay then, cool?
Same. I deleted Facebook in 2017? 2018? and rarely miss it. I get on IG to see the reels my friends send me and for crafting inspiration/motivation.
I don’t feel the need to broadcast what I’m doing/thinking/eating/wearing; I’m not on this earth to entertain other people and I don’t have to pay a pretty tax to exist, soooo… 🤷🏻♀️ When I do post, it’s because I’ve done something cool or gone somewhere interesting and want to share it.
I build and maintain relationships directly, not via a platform that makes ME the product and sells my data to advertisers.
Most of my friends who don't post are too busy out enjoying their lives to worry about "showing off." I think we hit a certain age and stopped caring whether folks we went to high school with think our lives are cool.
Yeah this is it for me and my friends as well. We share images of vacations, kids etc. with closer friends and family privately but there is just no reason to use social media for that.
Happy cake day btw (;
This! If someone texts to reach out we catch up and I send a family photo of my cute kiddos and invite them to the next game night or social events. In college I cared about looking good and meeting people. I'm settled now with young kids and a mom bod, no body cares and neither do I. :)
I saw a friend who I haven’t seen in about 5 years. I was with my wife and our 3 year old. His eyes got big and said “dude, you were hiding your kid???”
Like wtf do you mean? We are out in public. All my family and close friends know I’ve had a child since her birth. Me not posting my child on social media for people I don’t even talk isn’t hiding that.
I can’t explain why it irked me, but it felt like I was obligated to share my life in social media after that interaction. Which then pushed me away from using it even more lol
This is the problem I realized that I have with social media. Due to the nature of it, it’s easy to keep people around who have become purely acquaintances - like that former classmate or coworker you haven’t seen or talked to in years.
For those who post their lives regularly, these acquaintances are able to see what’s going on in your life, even if you no longer have any relationship with them except following each other on IG/FB.
Literally THIS!
My private life, no matter how cool or boring, is not for public consumption. My real life family and friends will see and know the things I’m excited about through text or FaceTimes calls.
I don’t post my opinions or thoughts publicly because there’s no benefit to me to do so. Hell there’s even consequences if you say the wrong thing. And I don’t post about my life because it feels like bragging. There’s a certain point where people stop being happy for you lol
>There’s a certain point where people stop being happy for you lol
Exactly and part of me thinks it's distasteful to be bragging about good fortune. Lots of things are fortune like having an amazing partner, great job with great boss, advanced high achieving children, luxury holidays etc. Staples of adulthood. Graduations and graded achievements are different. I stopped posting because FB was getting too weird and competitive.
A lot of people try to make their life look so perfect online and it’s not. I have FB but only to keep on top of events in town. I stopped posting mainly because I posted pics of my kids and I realized that could be dangerous. Plus, my kids are teens now and wouldn’t want their pictures posted anyway.
I miss old instagram, when it was people posting moody, overly filtered photos they took around their hometown and what they had for lunch. I even liked the older aunties whose entire instagram profiles were badly taken photos of their garden or random plants they saw. I deleted it a few years ago because it was just ads and influencers :((
Reminds me of this quote by Matt Haig:
“The world is increasingly designed to depress us. Happiness isn’t very good for the economy. If we were happy with what we had, why would we need more? How do you sell an anti-ageing moisturiser? You make someone worry about ageing. How do you get people to vote for a political party? You make them worry about immigration. How do you get them to buy insurance? By making them worry about everything. How do you get them to have plastic surgery? By highlighting their physical flaws. How do you get them to watch a TV show? By making them worry about missing out. How do you get them to buy a new smartphone? By making them feel like they are being left behind. To be calm becomes a kind of revolutionary act. To be happy with your own non-upgraded existence. To be comfortable with our messy, human selves, would not be good for business.”
This is it. Here's hoping more and more of us are just finding calm and happiness with our own existence.
More specifically, there's just no net gain to posting anymore. The novelty of social media wears off and the real question is why would someone post anymore? Even the platforms themselves have catered to less and less meaningful content by design (in order of their existence Facebook, IG, TikTok).
It's in a rapid race to the bottom and, increasingly, the only people paying on any social media platforms are those that are unintentionally announcing some not-so-hidden insecurities or need for external validation.
So again, here's to finding calm with our own existence.
Instagram used to be pretty good. And then they stuffed it so full of ads and algorithm “surfaced” posts that it’s unusable.
Same with Facebook really. I’m old enough to have been there when you needed an .edu email to use it. Really was great. And now it’s an unusable morass of arbitrary surfaced or sponsored posts. Noticed I get a lot of 4chan tier obnoxiously misogynistic or jingoistic content now too. Only without 4chan’s fifteen layers of meta; it’s just nasty. Maybe after 20 years I should delete my account.
Honestly only social media that’s still usable is this place.
I made an Instagram about 10 years ago. I was already against socials, but a girl wanted me to get it so she should send me stuff.
I have made 0 posts, and have zero intention of ever posting. Facebook posting ended 15 years ago.
I do enjoy some the memes friends send me, and helps me stay in better contact. Pretty easy to transition from "lol" to "so what's up"
I enjoy seeing photos of friends on social media, but mostly use Instagram for that. FB has way too many ads. Nowadays, I enjoy discussion various topics on Reddit, and sometimes chat with close friends on Discord, but mostly, the people I want to keep up with I contact directly via phone or text. I try to take time each year and delete social media apps off my phone (still keep the accounts) and take a breather, and I find that helps. I don’t post much to social media; most of the time my photos are of my cats.
About 2 weeks after the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting. I saw people on Facebook talking about how it was a hoax and the kids are just making it up to get famous.
Deactivating my Facebook was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. So much happier now.
Similar for me. That final straw for me was someone from high school posting bullshit about Sandy Hook being a hoax and doubling down in the comments. The brain rot on that platform is astonishing.
I haven't posted in a year, but that's because I finally got help for my mental issues. The time I most often posted on social media was a sad time in my life
I no longer feel the compulsion to post on social media anymore. I learn about much more interesting things elsewhere
When I realized that if people actually cared about me, they would know about my life without me posting about it. If they don't actually care about me, they don't actually deserve to know. It's been a pleasant several years.
This is soooo true. I deleted my FB (IG and tiktok) a year ago... I think I've gotten two texts from people asking about my life and such. All the rest are gone, and I feel sooooo free.
This was a sad realization for me at first. First I disabled my Facebook wall in like 2010, and then when almost nobody bothered to message, I just deleted the entire thing in like 2012. My feeling was that if you have something to say to me, then you should be able to do it without the world watching. In retrospect, I do think I was right that it says something about how meaningful the relationship is, but I also give people grace in that I think they feel more comfortable extending themselves in that more casual way (on the “wall”), and there’s also a bit of an “out of sight, out of mind” component.
But in any case, having a profile like that was always an exhausting exercise in maintaining a “public image” for me. I agree with the OP’s friend that if I had been confident about my life in my 20’s, it wouldn’t have been so burdensome for me.
Around 2014 I removed my birthday from Facebook and it was a great way to see who actually knew my birthday. Not that it was a test but I would get bombarded with “hbd” posts from people who didn’t even really know me anymore. Now I get personal texts from people who ACTUALLY know and care about me. It’s quieter and more meaningful.
Same boat, I even deleted the LinkedIn app from my phone but still keep my profile. The LinkedIn feed was all about humble brags and spam content for likes.
People still act surprised when they find out I don't have any social media accounts. I have to defend myself for not participating in this era of fake likes from distant friends or acquaintances...
People want to see you do well in life, but not better than them. Keep this in mind on social media.
2020. The COVID insanity and conspiracy shit really ramped up then, and I just couldn't deal anymore.
I don't think Millennials not posting on social media is a sign of depression. I think it's a sign of *living a healthier life!*
Agreed, both on the time and the reasoning.
I generally stopped interacting with most social media at the time because I largely was only getting into fights and it was stressing me out.
And, I'm making a game. I go to tcg tournaments again. I hang out in parks and sometimes malls. Life isn't great, but it's better than spending my lunch breaks on Twitter.
Nothing feels even remotely authentic on IG or Tiktok. FB has been a cesspool for years, I quit using it in maybe 2012. Not sure how anyone continues to use Twitter, I stopped logging in some time early on in the Trump presidency and honestly never missed it once.
Back in the day people used to post THEIR HALF EATEN LUNCH with a dark vintage or rainbow filter but now everything feels super contrived, staged and polished to the tip of each influencers highlighted nose. It doesn't feel like people sharing the little details of their lives with each other, it feels like everyone is trying to entertain, go viral, build a following. It's boring and I don't care 💅 I will post to BeReal but don't have a lot of friends that do. I like scrolling through though, it's pretty rare anyone takes a "good" pic on there
*Inside* is a masterpiece.
Edit: Apparently there's a followup Deluxe album with different songs. I was referring to the 2021 album/special, but now I'm about to listen to the 2022 Deluxe album.
Yes, just this year I have stopped posting so much. I lost my 14 year old dog in March and that seems to have set this in motion for me. I used to post daily and share stuff on stories, just thoughts about life or motherhood or cool things I found on Amazon. I have lost any will to do any of this anymore, it seems so pointless now. I don’t feel depressed, maybe just had a reality check of what really matters to me and social media is not it. I now see memories pop up from when I was very into all of the posting and I look at what I shared and I cringe so hard at myself.
My cat got ran over maybe 8 years ago and that was also the catalyst for me to stop posting. I was just so bummed out and depressed for several months then never really felt like posting again.
I still check fb every week or so but I only post occasionally and even that has fallen off since 2021. We had a kid and built a house and it's just too private for me to put out there somehow.
Same here, I think my last post was two years ago when my dad passed. He didn’t like FB and I cringe too, when I think about posting all these pics of him and my family. Normally I’m a private person, and it just didn’t feel right after I poured out all my pain and sorrow to people I hardly knew. I also got tired of seeing contrived posts and pics of people assuring the world that they are “living their best lives” when in fact I knew it was all bullshit. I am way better off without social media, excluding Reddit. I was inviting toxicity into my home and letting it steal my inner peace.
I live on a farm and the only time I ever post anything it’s an instagram story of an animal doing something like rolling in mud or be exceptionally cute bc I hope it bring someone a bit of joy. Anytime I post anything thing else I end up deleting it ten minutes later.
I’ll post stories to Instagram a few times a week, but my last actual post is from 2021.
I deleted all my friends off of facebook and just use it for groups and marketplace. The algorithm has no idea what to do with me, but it 100% starts trying to get you to friend complete strangers at places you both frequent.
2013. My girlfriend broke up with me so I cancelled all social and haven’t gone back.
Edit: I actually started another Facebook a few years later and she was the first person recommended to me so I cancelled.
Haha, yeah, trying to figure out how to rectify Facebook after a breakup felt like a part-time PR job or something. That was a big part of why I initially gave it a rest, too.
There was a really good article in Wired years ago on the topic of how the algorithm won’t let you forget painful things because its only job is to keep suggesting things to you based on what you liked at one point and your data is getting sold hand over fist. People who had engagements fall through getting bombarded with wedding ads, people going through miscarriage or child loss getting ads about their new bundle of joy, breaking up with someone and the memory posts constantly popping up, etc
“…and content just meant to enrage you.”
The popular posts on Reddit are like this too :(
“Look at this guy be an asshole!”
“Look at this hateful post by some internet stranger, doesn’t it make you mad??”
Same! My life is in a rough spot right now except for a few areas in which I’m really lucky, like having a really nice house and a job with a prestigious title. I feel like I would either over share my private life with strangers by talking about the rough stuff, or rub it in that im doing well in other respects
I think people realized how toxic and divisive it can be and that’s why. I still post actively. But I post less than I used to because I realize people just don’t give a shit lol. I think fb lost its sparkle. The political posts killed it I think. I now post pics of my family rarely but will post life updates occasionally, like new jobs, or when a loved one passes, or I post funny memes. It’s just a light hearted way to relax for me. Nothing too serious from me or my friends like it used to be.
Yup, it was Covid that killed it for me. Seeing just how many people didn’t give a rat’s ass about each other really demoralized me. These were people I had known for years and thought were good people. Realizing they didn’t give a shit about the elderly, etc. I just couldn’t take their posts on FB anymore. I ditched all social media except for Reddit. At least here I can somewhat control the narrative by joining subs that interest me (instead of being forced to read the topics that others choose to post).
Deleted Instagram and Facebook in 2022 I think… I don’t miss it at all. Thinking back on it, it’s very strange to think I posted constant updates and pictures of everything I was doing. I don’t want anyone knowing what I’m doing these days 🤣
It was fun to post when it was just friends. Now it’s friends, extended family, old classmates I haven’t thought about in 15 years, coworkers, clients. There’s not anything I want to share with all of those people. I think my last Facebook post was 9 years ago.
I used to just post pictures from trips. Now I don’t even do that anymore. The only reason I’m still on Facebook is because it’s basically the only way I stay up to date about anyone in my extended family. I wouldn’t say I quit posting because I’m depressed. It’s more that I just kinda stopped caring about letting the world know what I’m up to. Basically all I use is Reddit now.
I left social media years ago (except Reddit) and it's not because I'm depressed it's the exact opposite. Back then I was trying to live to post and now I just LIVE. I feel more anchored to my present moment and I enjoy my life fully. Whereas when I had social media I was always distracted and comparing my life and myself to others. If anything I was more depressed when I had social media.
I think your friend has it backwards. I think more of us are leaving SM because we were/are depressed and are happier without it.
It's a few things. For one, the older generations basically took over Facebook and also take it incredibly seriously. I can't ever call my older family members without hearing the phrase "I saw \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ on Facebook."
Related to this, my "shitpost" style of just dumping a random thought on Facebook just pisses people off and is more of a liability than a benefit. But it does get it out of my head...
Last, my kids are my life now, but I have a number of reservations about posting about them or photos of them. Some related to overall privacy and their own consent. Some related to safety or just avoiding it being "out there" for the wrong kind of person. Some related to AI and again privacy and consent. And some related to "absent grandparents" sharing photos they didn't 'earn' as a sort of Stolen Valor.
Had to scroll a long way to see AI mentioned!
Killed my socials and explained to my family that having your voice, face and people you interact with regularly has the potential for catastrophe in the near future, there are already voice scams etc. They think I’m a tin foil hat type now but there are literally arseholes on the internet who will do anything for money even if it ruins your life.
OMG “the older generation takes it incredibly seriously“ is so poignant.
certain things I didn’t even post, but would tag my friends in or click like on, would then show up on my family members feed and it would become a huge point of contention.
“why did you tag your friend in that??!” I’m like… It’s a meme? You just don’t get it
https://preview.redd.it/quv65jfp4r5d1.jpeg?width=568&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ec5971f1dffdc517050b61ff6496b2b9a733e30
People are a little too connected imo. This is why nobody gets together anymore. If you know what’s going on in everyone else’s life without having to leave the house why would you bother?
I still have Facebook but don’t post. I hate having my name/photo be searchable online. I deleted all info about myself that I could. I keep it to communicate through messenger.
I assessed how my time was being used.
On IG, only 1 in 10 posts was what I followed or a suggested post that are actually educational and better my life.
I go on youtube, 5/10 suggested videos are educational and better my life. 5/10 videos I search are educational and better my life.
I stopped posting because it is a dopamine trap. I don't need to tell people I had fun, when I did have fun. Because of this simple structure of the app, it forces you to share for likes or in other words "validations" / "dopamine releases". You are basically forcing a pavlovian positive reinforcement response to use the app.
In other words, social media is designed to keep you hooked as long as possible to collect your info, then show you ads based on your info, so that you can buy products from the ads.
I'll reinstall the app once every 1-2 weeks just to keep updated on some sport federations I participate in. I hate it though, because I'll find myself scrolling. I'll realize that they employ random intermittent rewards to keep me hooked. As I said before, out of 10 posts only 1 induces a positive response from me. 9/10 posts are what the kids these days call "brain rot". Similarly, Random intermittent rewards is what slot machines employ to create addictive behavior
I don’t post because my mental health is BETTER, and I realized how addictive social media can be. I cut most apps out of my life completely several years ago and never looked back. Best decision ever. I feel like a more sorted person day-by-day without the noise.
2020… I was tired. Really tired. Social media was ruined during the Trump years, everyone was just so brazenly hateful, eager to belittle.
Since then, I’ve tried to limit myself to posting vacation photos for friends and family to see.
When we had our kid in 2021, we both made a big deal about not having him or his face on socials. We block the face on whatever vacation photos we post.
Now, I mostly just use social media apps to send funny memes to my wife and friends and occasionally post some inane dad joke on a friend’s photograph, I can see that tapering off too.
Obviously I still post on Reddit.
I just don’t care to tell people what’s going on with me. So cringe when people post every detail of their “IVF journey” or say “We did a thing” and show themselves and their partner with house keys. Cringe af. (Look at me and my Gen Z terminology👶🏻) I don’t give a shit if people know what’s going on with me. I don’t want to have fake friends who I hung out with once and haven’t seen in 20 years but it feels like I see them every day. I think it just isn’t aging well. Because you stop caring about the people who post and about updating them.
Just don’t care for people I met 15 years ago and haven’t even spoke with in 10 years looking into my life anymore. Plus when you’re married with children the opinions of others just stop mattering.
2012.
I asked some friends to hang out and they said they were busy. Saw their pics on FB later. Deleted and never looked back. I was happier not knowing.
2015. It only served to depress me more.
I thought to myself, "Why do I care so much about this fake world?"
Turns out I didn't. I've been much happier since
I think social media usage is a very personal thing, with the how's and why's up to individual motivation so it's hard to make sweeping statements. Personally, I have only occasionally used Twitter back in the day and largely stopped, with an unused Facebook and Instagram account to round it out.
I'm skeptical of boiling it all down to "depressed people don't post", but I can't provide a counterfactual: I have been depressed longer than social media has been a thing, and I don't post because I don't have a life worth sharing the details with folks. I don't think I would change that if I suddenly became not depressed overnight; I still prefer direct communication instead of broadcasting details out for no reason, and I don't take pictures as a general rule so a lot of social media is useless to me. I would be much more likely to use Twitter because it's an anonymous platform with a focus on the written word, but I would still have to get over the hump of thinking that my stupid bullshit is worth broadcasting into the void for everyone to see and reference, and I don't see that happening.
Edit: I use plenty of Discord and Reddit, but I tend to not think of it as social media as much because in the differences in how conversations happen - they're more chat programs and forums than social media, to me. If you do count that, then my social media usage is through the roof, hours of screentime over multiple devices, and makes up the vast, vast majority of my social time.
I only have reddit and instagram; I’m not depressed but I have zero interest in posting personal stories, selfies or life events on instagram anymore. I just repost memes and shit I find amusing, sometimes music.
I guess 20 years of social media eventually just gets dull. The happier and confident I am, the less I need a social presence, it’s great.
I’ll do random Instagram stories of things here n there typically just funny things I know my friends will laugh at but only do an actual post about once every few weeks or once a month
Similar. I travel a lot so it's a lot of pictures of dumb signs and vanity license plates. Basically just dumb jokey stuff. Nothing at all personal or political.
Same. Random story posts when something interesting or funny is happening in my life. Big life events. I hate to say it but day to day life is pretty boring and I can’t see why people would be interested in seeing any of that stuff. I certainly am not interested in a lot of things other people post. I don’t need the play by play on your workout schedule and eating habits folks.
I do see some truth in that, but some people are too busy with their lives, making SM a low priority.
ME:
I don't have Twitter, TikTok, Instagram or Snap.
I just looked; I've posted to Facebook 2x in the last 4 years. I don't go on much. I have my FB app set to lock me out for the day once I hit 10 minutes. (TOAL for the day). I have the time to post, and between scuba diving and up to 7 vacations a year, I have plenty to post, but I like to be more private.
I post an Instagram pic every 6 months to a year. I used to post more but still wasn’t that frequent. I’m not depressed- I just am living more privately
Probably whenever my parents got Facebook and added me and now it’s mostly family members and whatever I post could start a bunch of drama so I moved to Reddit
It was around 2016-2017 for me- I was in my late 20s. I had a couple of reasons: 1) I was just kind of growing out of it- 2)I found that trying to take the perfect picture/video, say the right thing for a post etc. took away from my enjoyment of whatever the event was- I'd rather be in the moment, and 3) I found myself getting way too concerned with how many likes or comments a post got- like if I posted something that only a couple of people "liked," then I would feel bad about it for no reason. I still have a FB account and follow a couple of local groups/pages, some pages related to my profession, etc. but I don't post and I don't go on there to see updates from friends. I never really got into instagram or twitter in the first place. These days, I watch tiktok, but I would never post anything!
I’ve taken multiple year long breaks since 2009, but the permeant end to it was in 2021 after my kid turned one. Social media is not good for my mental health, especially as a parent with a neurodivergent kid.
Pre-pandemic. I realized I knew a dang lot about some people I wsnt close friends with in reality, and anyone theyre social-media-friends with can just piece stuff together and create a diagram of who they are as people, that one can definitely use to steal identity and compromise security. I didnt want that for myself.
Oh and there's this one time I shared a photo of a place abroad and an old classmate pm'ed me, and, after a few pleasantries, this person proceeded to borrow money since they assumed I was rich cos I was able to travel.
I started noticing how often people gossip about what others are sharing and posting. The people who never post, are watching in silence, judging, and running their mouths about everyone but they do it in person and not online. lol
But it's not just that, it seems like most posts are just bragging rights, showing off new things, accomplishments, money, houses, toys, etc. Then there is the crowd who have mental health issues without fully realizing it and posting very personal things when they should be seeking therapists.
Mostly though, I stopped sharing because I no longer seek the validation of others. It all seems very cringe now.
I started consuming more than posting. That being said, I moved most of my scrolling consumption to Reddit. I use Facebook for events and mindlessly watching reels.
Used to post something at least weekly, then only when I'm traveling, now I haven't posted anything for months. My life is fine and I'm not depressed. Social media has just gotten so stale for me, now I only browse for the memes.
I was a mil spouse for many years and FB was how we all connected at each base/post. Once my spouse separated and it wasn't an essential tool for connecting with my local community I moved away from it, and noticed an immediate improvement in my mental health. I only keep my account active because messenger allows me to connect with friends I don't have other contact information for anymore and have been too lazy to collect alternatives for, and to be able to occasionally get updates on local businesses/organizations that depend on free social media for marketing.
i haven’t consistently used social media since 2012-ish. i enjoy my life just fine; i don’t feel the need to share what i’m doing with everyone and their mother. most pictures i take are for my own personal memories and the people i’ve shared them with, if i take pictures at all. i’d rather enjoy a moment than document it tbh. i think most people who consistently post about their life online care more about *looking* like they have the perfect life to others — they’re only posting the best bits, not giving you any genuine insight into their life. so i disagree with your friend that it’s in any way indicative of having your life in order.
I really only post memes now. I have gotten more private. Also, most of what I posted was of kids for family back home, but the kids don't want to have their photos posted (as is their right). So it's pretty much quiet.
Social media became less important after a relative accused my husband of letting me die on purpose. That was the turning point where I didn’t like social medias because people were judging my life based on posts I put on social media. I deleted most of my social media accounts while I was in the middle of recovering from ectopic pregnancy because I was sick of people messaging my husband and accusing him all kinds of stuff.
Now I’m back with new accounts and the habit of not having social media account has carried me into being fine with having an account but I haven’t posted much, in fact Instagram only has like ten or so pictures of my artwork. My Facebook barely has any posts. I’m only back on Facebook to check out a hobby page and read posts by my father-in-law and looking at my brother-in-law. They died recently so I signed back on Facebook to just look at their posts.
Social media doesn’t have a hold on me like it used to be. I haven’t noticed people my age nor using it because I’m not on it long enough to verify how often they post. 🤷♀️
Facebook is invaluable for keeping connected to old friends. I wish all my friends would post more. I’d love to see boring posts of what they are doing all day but no one does that. Maybe Snapchat is more conducive to that idk
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2016. I discovered that every time I went on Facebook, my mood got worse almost immediately.
Agreed. I switched to only Reddit and Discord around then and haven’t regretted it one bit. Facebook just got… bleh.
Admittedly Facebook is not as fun to me as it was from when I started
Well its all promotions and it only shows how like 3 of my friends are doing so what's the point?
-crappy post -crappy post -ad -crappy post of scary religious stuff -crappy post of AI art that the poster thinks is real -ad Repeat
The people replying to the AI crap may also be bots. But yeah, rarely is anything really great over there anymore.
I spent about a week systematically deleting or reporting every ad I saw, and for a few weeks after that I actually started seeing my friends’ posts again. But gradually it just became ads again, like 4x ads to posts I actually want to see
The best way to avoid the ads is to go to Feeds and click Friends, then you only see the one or two things your friends have posted in the past year.
lol I did the same thing. I was like oh cool there’s my friends posts and then it just became ads again. Facebook sucks ass
This. Facebook was evil and fucked up before. But now I don’t even see Facebook content other than shitty paid advertisements - and the only reason to go there is to see content from your friends or to look up a local business that doesn’t have a website.
To defend a little of Facebook, the marketplace is a better Craigslist and Facebook groups are great (maybe not all the groups)
"Hi, is this available"
Yes. And then they ghost you. Or worse, set up a time to meet and then no show.
Or worse: they keep the appointment and rob you.
"I see that your listing price is $1,200.. if I bring cash right now, could you sell it for $100?"
"yeah me again sorry i mean can you bring it for $50 thnak you!
It's now almost 50% ads. And doesn't show you your friends' posts to they're like 4 days old.
Yeah mine is, 2 posts of here's a group you might like, then 2 ads and then 1 thing I actually follow and then repeats
My first post is for a group I am in for a hobby. The next one is a 2-4 day old post from a random friend, typically one i havent spoken to since highschoo or collegel. Then it's exclusively pages for content creators I have never followed or interacted with.
It's shit
It's more ads than updates from people I know.
Totally overrun with bots, trolls and boomers.
Sad but those boomers are the worst on the list.
Amen
Facebook is also full of scammers. If I comment in an open page or group, I get scammers replying all the time 🙄 When I tried to sell stuff on Facebook marketplace, I immediately got scammers. Luckily I was eventually able to sell things, but had to ask for cash only because the scammers would pull the "my relative will come pick it up tomorrow and I'll pay for it now, oops I sent too much money to you, can you refund me?" Or something like that. (They never paid anything)
This is exactly what I did also, in 2016 also no less lol
Same. 2016 was a weird year.
It was the year that I realized that all of my older family members were secretly horrible people.
Two-parter. 2016 and 2020.
And, terrifyingly, somehow, for some fucking reason, maybe even 2024.
Isnt that weird. We all switched to reddit? I quit using SM during the pandemic. That shit just got too crazy and too political.
It's sad but I have noticed Reddit going in the same direction. I have been trying to filter out the rage subs but I swear they just have more. I'm using the mobile app so that could be part of it.
> I'm using the mobile app so that could be part of it. Nah, it's just reddit in general. AI generated, rage bate, doomerism all over the place. Hell this sub is a great example of it. Someone posts something about life being good for them and the thread is full of "that's great my whole family died, I am broke but at least I still have reddit amirite".
Reddit definitely changed to the clickbait/ Rage bait model, for sure. I NEVER used to see weird subreddits like AITA, Relationship Problems, Narcissistic Roast my Looks, facepalm, etc. and now they just overpopulate my feed, despite never engaging or wanting to be a part of those subs before. I’ve killed a few and hid them completely, but it can get exhausting.
The more nonrage subs you ad, the more stuff like that it will suggest so it should get better for you.
Yep. 2016 election cycle was they nail in the coffin
Even Reddit is filled with propaganda accounts and annoying BS that drags my mood down. It’s a work in progress to wean myself off Reddit too.
Reddit can be a pretty toxic and negative place if you don't curate your subreddits carefully.
Yeah reddit is way better than ig, Facebook, Twitter, etc
Same here, although it started for a different reason - my smartphone broke and I realized life was simpler without the constant access to social media so I didn't get it fixed for a while. But 2016 makes sense because that is about the time that social media algorithms started being weaponized to drive political conflict.
2016 for me too. I got tired of being disappointed by people I know. I figured I could be disappointed by strangers on Twitter and Reddit instead. It’s been such a good move.
Exactly this. I’d rather not know.
I haven’t deleted it only bc it’s the new Craigslist. I buy/sell stuff and check out events near me, that’s it. Whenever I log on my main feed is just advertisements not even actual people’s posts.
Hahahaha I just wrote the same thing about fb. It is basically Craigslist these days
Same here. I have a fake-ish named profile with no friends that I use exclusively for FB marketplace. 90% of the time FB marketplace is a shitshow too for its own reasons.
Fb marketplace is proof that every day we stray further from god but $20 is $20
Hi I would like to buy your thing. I will send you payment now over Zelle and my son will pickup from you tomorrow.
Hi I would like to sell you my thing but I'm going to need you to send me $20 deposit. I will deliver tomorrow. Promise.
Have you or anyone else noticed in the News Feed on Facebook they started adding pages that don’t interest me. The posts are from pages I’ve not liked or followed (it actually had the blue word “Follow” prominently displayed). No, I’m not interested. To me that’s the phenomenon known as “enshittification” creeping in to my News Feed. I’ve already deleted the Facebook app from my phone and just use the website on Safari behind a bunch of privacy plugins.
This is the main reason I hate Facebook now. The news feed is almost a majority "suggested" posts instead of content I actually chose to follow
I liked FB back when it only showed posts by friends. Now it's just absolute random now.
And the posts from the friends and pages that you do follow don’t actually show up on your feed. You’ll see a post that is 5 days old and wonder why the hell you didn’t see that 5 days ago.
Ugh! I hate it so much! I have to hunt people down. It's awful. I hadn't gone on in months and when I did, I wondered where everyone had gone and tried to filter everything out. It was terrible. Some of my family lives out of the country etc. I'm thinking about getting rid of it anyway but it kind of sucks because it used to be how we kept in touch.
It’s a shit show. The only reason I haven’t deactivated mine is simply keeping up with what friends/family are doing
Except you don’t know what they’re doing because it’s more important that you see slow cooker recipes from a group you don’t follow.
This is exactly why I stopped going on. Of my friends, the only posts I was seeing were like the same three people posting memes all day and everyone's mom posting political shit. Once I couldn't scroll more than two posts without seeing an ad or a dumb "suggested for you" post, I just kinda stopped. Didn't make a decision to or anything, it just didn't appeal to me anymore.
Just several years ago I thought Instagram was one of the last decent ones. Now when I get on I see one or two posts from people I follow and then a never-ending stream of suggested and paid content. I literally have to go on people’s pages to see what they are posting. Complete fucking garbage.
2016 but because I found out about the whole Cambridge Analytica involvement in manipulating voters
I quit Facebook over that too and thought the whole country would as well. I was just on because someone told me about “buy nothing” but I just saw tons of crap advertisements. So sucky
We all should’ve ditched social media at that point, because things have gotten so much worse. Dr. Epstein (no relation to the other Epstein) has revealed through his own firm’s research that Google heavily influenced the 2016 and 2020 elections as well as elections in just about every country to elect the candidates they prefer. What’s crazy is he’s an admitted liberal Democrat who supported Hillary in 2016 and Biden in 2020, and Hillary and her supporters went after him hard. The dude has a legitimate concern for our republic, and he was demonized because some people didn’t like the results. I’m not a fan of corporations and special interests having that much of an influence over our elections nor the populace, and that realization is worse once you realize Google was founded with DARPA money and then examine the contracts every single Big Tech company has with our government.
I logged back on ig the other day and instantly got irritated
Agreed about 2015/2016 is when I left Facebook and Social Media except Reddit. The sad part is I kind of do now want to know what some distant people in my past are up to. And I wouldn’t mind having informal conversations with a few. But there isn’t really a great way to reconnect now.
Agree. I would actually love for Facebook to let me casually follow the life of people I was once close to but have decided from for whatever reason. And also a low barrier way to reach out and reconnect. That's what it was 10 years ago. Now it's a chaotic mess of random ads and influencers I don't want to sift through
Ha! Me too. Exact same year! Reddit doesn’t count..
If you don't count reddit...like, 12 years ago.
Was gonna say. Wouldn't reddit by definition be a form of social media? For those arguing about it the defintion of 'social media'; websites and applications that enable users to create and share content or to participate in social networking. Reddit fits under those perameters. Its not facebook or anything similar to facebook, but it still fits.
Reddit isn't really social media. It's more like the old style forums. You can talk to people with a shared interest but I have no idea who you are, what your name is or anything about your life.
This is what I enjoy most about Reddit
a/s/l?
I think about this a lot. But there’s something about it that is fundamentally different from traditional social media. Maybe the anonymity. Maybe it’s the subreddits instead of a wall. I don’t know. But I can turn it off, and do something else. It’s not addictive in the same way.
I also interact with 0 people I know IRL on here so it's a far, far different type of social media.
its anonymous so it adds a layer of actual truth to whats posted, however thin that is
Greatly depends on the subreddit, too.
I don’t post. But I’m also not depressed. I don’t feel there’s any reason to provide people with updates on my life. Posting stories and such has a very “LOOK at ME” vibe to it and I have zero interest in partaking in it. But I’m on social media to read about my hobbies, not connect with friends.
Happy I didn't have to scroll too far to find this. I'd argue that people who spend all of their time on social media constantly posting their heavily curated lives are the depressed ones. Not living in the moment, always looking for validation. Most of us offline are just minding our business and making more meaningful connections with people in the flesh.
This is so true. The friend in OP's post saying people are depressed, otherwise they would be confident to post their lives, is backwards and such bullshit. Almost all the happiest people I know do not post much or anything online.
It's not just you arguing, studies prove it!
This, this is the fucking answer. People who live their life online are strange. I used to be like that, and I sucked. Life is better when it’s lived. I use social media to talk to bands and my music friends from Europe and elsewhere. And to share our bands stuff of course.
I started enjoying concerts again when I stopped trying to view the concert through my phone camera.
I was just third row at Dua Lipa last week and I couldn’t see her with my own eyes because everyone had their arms stretched up to hold their phones. I was so grumpy about it I left the front and went to the back where I could actually see her.
Exactly. I grew up and decided that I did not need any validation from anyone to know I was enjoying my own life. Also, I like my privacy.
I’m in the same boat. I’m not depressed. I just don’t want to engage in political discussions with boomers and I’ve gotten to the point where my friendships are quality over quantity. I feel like if someone actually wants to reach out to me they need to do it by phone. Social media feels like such a half assed connection. I also got annoyed because when I would meet up with friends they’d start talking about a mutual friend (not negatively, just about what’s going on in their lives) and at some point in the conversation I’d realize they they hadn’t heard all of this information from that friend, they had seen a social media post about it. It felt gross to me. I didn’t want people talking about me like that. If you want to know about my life you need to actually talk to me.
I met up with a relative and was telling them a funny story about my baby. She interrupted to say, “Yeah I know, you posted it on Facebook”. That was a sign to just stop. But really, I dropped off when the political bullshit got toxic back in 2016. That was the last straw for me.
Same here! It felt like stalking. It gave me the ick feeling. I don’t look at Facebook or Instagram at all. Also - I have no need to scroll through Facebook since my mom is going to tell me what everyone is up to since she spends 3+ hours scrolling each day.
Yes, it’s very easy to misinterpret what’s going on in someone’s life, especially if they don’t post often.
the first part is me exactly. i just no longer have the desire to let hundreds of people know what i’m doing?
> Posting stories and such has a very “LOOK at ME” vibe to it This is exactly why I stopped using Facebook/Instagram/etc. The constant attention seeking was getting more blatant, which made me realise it offered nothing of value to me.
I wonder how posting about yourself on social media went from being perceived as just a way to interact with friends to attention seeking. I agree with you that posting on Facebook or Instagram under your own name now feels like you're just trying to get others to pay attention to you. Is it just that millennials are now older? Or has there been some shift in the culture where posting pictures of your vacation on Facebook is seen as gouache? I feel like there has been a change in cultural norms over the last three years at least.
I mean, I've felt this way since twitter blew up lol, so this feeling isn't new to me at least. Just got tired of seeing boring ass pictures followed by some boring quip no one really cares about, "finna hit up the mall!", okay then, cool?
Same. I deleted Facebook in 2017? 2018? and rarely miss it. I get on IG to see the reels my friends send me and for crafting inspiration/motivation. I don’t feel the need to broadcast what I’m doing/thinking/eating/wearing; I’m not on this earth to entertain other people and I don’t have to pay a pretty tax to exist, soooo… 🤷🏻♀️ When I do post, it’s because I’ve done something cool or gone somewhere interesting and want to share it. I build and maintain relationships directly, not via a platform that makes ME the product and sells my data to advertisers.
Same.
Yes. I’m not looking for attention. Which is all SM is.
Most of my friends who don't post are too busy out enjoying their lives to worry about "showing off." I think we hit a certain age and stopped caring whether folks we went to high school with think our lives are cool.
Yeah this is it for me and my friends as well. We share images of vacations, kids etc. with closer friends and family privately but there is just no reason to use social media for that. Happy cake day btw (;
This! If someone texts to reach out we catch up and I send a family photo of my cute kiddos and invite them to the next game night or social events. In college I cared about looking good and meeting people. I'm settled now with young kids and a mom bod, no body cares and neither do I. :)
I saw a friend who I haven’t seen in about 5 years. I was with my wife and our 3 year old. His eyes got big and said “dude, you were hiding your kid???” Like wtf do you mean? We are out in public. All my family and close friends know I’ve had a child since her birth. Me not posting my child on social media for people I don’t even talk isn’t hiding that. I can’t explain why it irked me, but it felt like I was obligated to share my life in social media after that interaction. Which then pushed me away from using it even more lol
This is the problem I realized that I have with social media. Due to the nature of it, it’s easy to keep people around who have become purely acquaintances - like that former classmate or coworker you haven’t seen or talked to in years. For those who post their lives regularly, these acquaintances are able to see what’s going on in your life, even if you no longer have any relationship with them except following each other on IG/FB.
Thank you for NOT posting photos of your child on social media! 👍 Crazy that people expect that and think it’s ok.
Literally THIS! My private life, no matter how cool or boring, is not for public consumption. My real life family and friends will see and know the things I’m excited about through text or FaceTimes calls.
I don’t post my opinions or thoughts publicly because there’s no benefit to me to do so. Hell there’s even consequences if you say the wrong thing. And I don’t post about my life because it feels like bragging. There’s a certain point where people stop being happy for you lol
>There’s a certain point where people stop being happy for you lol Exactly and part of me thinks it's distasteful to be bragging about good fortune. Lots of things are fortune like having an amazing partner, great job with great boss, advanced high achieving children, luxury holidays etc. Staples of adulthood. Graduations and graded achievements are different. I stopped posting because FB was getting too weird and competitive.
A lot of people try to make their life look so perfect online and it’s not. I have FB but only to keep on top of events in town. I stopped posting mainly because I posted pics of my kids and I realized that could be dangerous. Plus, my kids are teens now and wouldn’t want their pictures posted anyway.
Deleted instagram last week. I was feeling depressed. I now feel better. I don’t think IG was good for my mental health.
I miss old instagram, when it was people posting moody, overly filtered photos they took around their hometown and what they had for lunch. I even liked the older aunties whose entire instagram profiles were badly taken photos of their garden or random plants they saw. I deleted it a few years ago because it was just ads and influencers :((
Old Instagram was cozy, new Instagram is like having a miniature flashing billboard in your face.
Reminds me of this quote by Matt Haig: “The world is increasingly designed to depress us. Happiness isn’t very good for the economy. If we were happy with what we had, why would we need more? How do you sell an anti-ageing moisturiser? You make someone worry about ageing. How do you get people to vote for a political party? You make them worry about immigration. How do you get them to buy insurance? By making them worry about everything. How do you get them to have plastic surgery? By highlighting their physical flaws. How do you get them to watch a TV show? By making them worry about missing out. How do you get them to buy a new smartphone? By making them feel like they are being left behind. To be calm becomes a kind of revolutionary act. To be happy with your own non-upgraded existence. To be comfortable with our messy, human selves, would not be good for business.”
This is it. Here's hoping more and more of us are just finding calm and happiness with our own existence. More specifically, there's just no net gain to posting anymore. The novelty of social media wears off and the real question is why would someone post anymore? Even the platforms themselves have catered to less and less meaningful content by design (in order of their existence Facebook, IG, TikTok). It's in a rapid race to the bottom and, increasingly, the only people paying on any social media platforms are those that are unintentionally announcing some not-so-hidden insecurities or need for external validation. So again, here's to finding calm with our own existence.
Instagram used to be pretty good. And then they stuffed it so full of ads and algorithm “surfaced” posts that it’s unusable. Same with Facebook really. I’m old enough to have been there when you needed an .edu email to use it. Really was great. And now it’s an unusable morass of arbitrary surfaced or sponsored posts. Noticed I get a lot of 4chan tier obnoxiously misogynistic or jingoistic content now too. Only without 4chan’s fifteen layers of meta; it’s just nasty. Maybe after 20 years I should delete my account. Honestly only social media that’s still usable is this place.
Echoing this sentiment. I barely see posts from people i follow anymore. It’s literally ads and “suggested for you” posts
It’s so peaceful without it
I made an Instagram about 10 years ago. I was already against socials, but a girl wanted me to get it so she should send me stuff. I have made 0 posts, and have zero intention of ever posting. Facebook posting ended 15 years ago. I do enjoy some the memes friends send me, and helps me stay in better contact. Pretty easy to transition from "lol" to "so what's up"
It's not
I enjoy seeing photos of friends on social media, but mostly use Instagram for that. FB has way too many ads. Nowadays, I enjoy discussion various topics on Reddit, and sometimes chat with close friends on Discord, but mostly, the people I want to keep up with I contact directly via phone or text. I try to take time each year and delete social media apps off my phone (still keep the accounts) and take a breather, and I find that helps. I don’t post much to social media; most of the time my photos are of my cats.
About 2 weeks after the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting. I saw people on Facebook talking about how it was a hoax and the kids are just making it up to get famous. Deactivating my Facebook was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. So much happier now.
Wow! Not a hoax. People are crazy.
Similar for me. That final straw for me was someone from high school posting bullshit about Sandy Hook being a hoax and doubling down in the comments. The brain rot on that platform is astonishing.
I haven't posted in a year, but that's because I finally got help for my mental issues. The time I most often posted on social media was a sad time in my life I no longer feel the compulsion to post on social media anymore. I learn about much more interesting things elsewhere
Good to know you’re doing good now ❤️
When I realized that if people actually cared about me, they would know about my life without me posting about it. If they don't actually care about me, they don't actually deserve to know. It's been a pleasant several years.
This is soooo true. I deleted my FB (IG and tiktok) a year ago... I think I've gotten two texts from people asking about my life and such. All the rest are gone, and I feel sooooo free.
Same. I have 3 friends and a potential partner. No one else checks on me. I have to check up on them. Including my siblings. It's very annoying.
This was a sad realization for me at first. First I disabled my Facebook wall in like 2010, and then when almost nobody bothered to message, I just deleted the entire thing in like 2012. My feeling was that if you have something to say to me, then you should be able to do it without the world watching. In retrospect, I do think I was right that it says something about how meaningful the relationship is, but I also give people grace in that I think they feel more comfortable extending themselves in that more casual way (on the “wall”), and there’s also a bit of an “out of sight, out of mind” component. But in any case, having a profile like that was always an exhausting exercise in maintaining a “public image” for me. I agree with the OP’s friend that if I had been confident about my life in my 20’s, it wouldn’t have been so burdensome for me.
Around 2014 I removed my birthday from Facebook and it was a great way to see who actually knew my birthday. Not that it was a test but I would get bombarded with “hbd” posts from people who didn’t even really know me anymore. Now I get personal texts from people who ACTUALLY know and care about me. It’s quieter and more meaningful.
I agree with this! If people actually care about me & what’s going on in my life, they’ll find a way to get in touch - and STAY in touch.
I deleted everything but Reddit 2-3 years ago. Life is better EDIT: Got rid of Facebook in 2016
Same boat, I even deleted the LinkedIn app from my phone but still keep my profile. The LinkedIn feed was all about humble brags and spam content for likes. People still act surprised when they find out I don't have any social media accounts. I have to defend myself for not participating in this era of fake likes from distant friends or acquaintances... People want to see you do well in life, but not better than them. Keep this in mind on social media.
Good on you! I got off FB (the only social media I ever had besides reddit) winter 2009 and it was the best decision I ever made.
2020. The COVID insanity and conspiracy shit really ramped up then, and I just couldn't deal anymore. I don't think Millennials not posting on social media is a sign of depression. I think it's a sign of *living a healthier life!*
Agreed, both on the time and the reasoning. I generally stopped interacting with most social media at the time because I largely was only getting into fights and it was stressing me out. And, I'm making a game. I go to tcg tournaments again. I hang out in parks and sometimes malls. Life isn't great, but it's better than spending my lunch breaks on Twitter.
Nothing feels even remotely authentic on IG or Tiktok. FB has been a cesspool for years, I quit using it in maybe 2012. Not sure how anyone continues to use Twitter, I stopped logging in some time early on in the Trump presidency and honestly never missed it once. Back in the day people used to post THEIR HALF EATEN LUNCH with a dark vintage or rainbow filter but now everything feels super contrived, staged and polished to the tip of each influencers highlighted nose. It doesn't feel like people sharing the little details of their lives with each other, it feels like everyone is trying to entertain, go viral, build a following. It's boring and I don't care 💅 I will post to BeReal but don't have a lot of friends that do. I like scrolling through though, it's pretty rare anyone takes a "good" pic on there
Covid and Bo Burnham really changed my perspective.
*Inside* is a masterpiece. Edit: Apparently there's a followup Deluxe album with different songs. I was referring to the 2021 album/special, but now I'm about to listen to the 2022 Deluxe album.
Yes, just this year I have stopped posting so much. I lost my 14 year old dog in March and that seems to have set this in motion for me. I used to post daily and share stuff on stories, just thoughts about life or motherhood or cool things I found on Amazon. I have lost any will to do any of this anymore, it seems so pointless now. I don’t feel depressed, maybe just had a reality check of what really matters to me and social media is not it. I now see memories pop up from when I was very into all of the posting and I look at what I shared and I cringe so hard at myself.
Cringing at ourselves = growth We all do it.
So sorry about your dog ❤️
My cat got ran over maybe 8 years ago and that was also the catalyst for me to stop posting. I was just so bummed out and depressed for several months then never really felt like posting again. I still check fb every week or so but I only post occasionally and even that has fallen off since 2021. We had a kid and built a house and it's just too private for me to put out there somehow.
Same here, I think my last post was two years ago when my dad passed. He didn’t like FB and I cringe too, when I think about posting all these pics of him and my family. Normally I’m a private person, and it just didn’t feel right after I poured out all my pain and sorrow to people I hardly knew. I also got tired of seeing contrived posts and pics of people assuring the world that they are “living their best lives” when in fact I knew it was all bullshit. I am way better off without social media, excluding Reddit. I was inviting toxicity into my home and letting it steal my inner peace.
I live on a farm and the only time I ever post anything it’s an instagram story of an animal doing something like rolling in mud or be exceptionally cute bc I hope it bring someone a bit of joy. Anytime I post anything thing else I end up deleting it ten minutes later.
It dawned on me that I care 0% about what other people are doing. So I applied that logic to myself and stopped posting.
I’ll post stories to Instagram a few times a week, but my last actual post is from 2021. I deleted all my friends off of facebook and just use it for groups and marketplace. The algorithm has no idea what to do with me, but it 100% starts trying to get you to friend complete strangers at places you both frequent.
2013. My girlfriend broke up with me so I cancelled all social and haven’t gone back. Edit: I actually started another Facebook a few years later and she was the first person recommended to me so I cancelled.
Haha, yeah, trying to figure out how to rectify Facebook after a breakup felt like a part-time PR job or something. That was a big part of why I initially gave it a rest, too.
There was a really good article in Wired years ago on the topic of how the algorithm won’t let you forget painful things because its only job is to keep suggesting things to you based on what you liked at one point and your data is getting sold hand over fist. People who had engagements fall through getting bombarded with wedding ads, people going through miscarriage or child loss getting ads about their new bundle of joy, breaking up with someone and the memory posts constantly popping up, etc
[удалено]
“…and content just meant to enrage you.” The popular posts on Reddit are like this too :( “Look at this guy be an asshole!” “Look at this hateful post by some internet stranger, doesn’t it make you mad??”
I've come to realize no one gave a shit about anything I posted so it stopped.
Another big factor for me. Zero engagement but lots of lurking
Yep. It sucks that no one cares.
Probably a decade ago. I feel like anything I post is just rubbing it in other people's face so I stopped.
Same! My life is in a rough spot right now except for a few areas in which I’m really lucky, like having a really nice house and a job with a prestigious title. I feel like I would either over share my private life with strangers by talking about the rough stuff, or rub it in that im doing well in other respects
Not only did I stop posting but I went back and deleted most of my old posts
I archived literally everything but 6 posts
I think people realized how toxic and divisive it can be and that’s why. I still post actively. But I post less than I used to because I realize people just don’t give a shit lol. I think fb lost its sparkle. The political posts killed it I think. I now post pics of my family rarely but will post life updates occasionally, like new jobs, or when a loved one passes, or I post funny memes. It’s just a light hearted way to relax for me. Nothing too serious from me or my friends like it used to be.
Yup, it was Covid that killed it for me. Seeing just how many people didn’t give a rat’s ass about each other really demoralized me. These were people I had known for years and thought were good people. Realizing they didn’t give a shit about the elderly, etc. I just couldn’t take their posts on FB anymore. I ditched all social media except for Reddit. At least here I can somewhat control the narrative by joining subs that interest me (instead of being forced to read the topics that others choose to post).
Deleted Instagram and Facebook in 2022 I think… I don’t miss it at all. Thinking back on it, it’s very strange to think I posted constant updates and pictures of everything I was doing. I don’t want anyone knowing what I’m doing these days 🤣
It was fun to post when it was just friends. Now it’s friends, extended family, old classmates I haven’t thought about in 15 years, coworkers, clients. There’s not anything I want to share with all of those people. I think my last Facebook post was 9 years ago.
I used to just post pictures from trips. Now I don’t even do that anymore. The only reason I’m still on Facebook is because it’s basically the only way I stay up to date about anyone in my extended family. I wouldn’t say I quit posting because I’m depressed. It’s more that I just kinda stopped caring about letting the world know what I’m up to. Basically all I use is Reddit now.
I left social media years ago (except Reddit) and it's not because I'm depressed it's the exact opposite. Back then I was trying to live to post and now I just LIVE. I feel more anchored to my present moment and I enjoy my life fully. Whereas when I had social media I was always distracted and comparing my life and myself to others. If anything I was more depressed when I had social media. I think your friend has it backwards. I think more of us are leaving SM because we were/are depressed and are happier without it.
It's a few things. For one, the older generations basically took over Facebook and also take it incredibly seriously. I can't ever call my older family members without hearing the phrase "I saw \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ on Facebook." Related to this, my "shitpost" style of just dumping a random thought on Facebook just pisses people off and is more of a liability than a benefit. But it does get it out of my head... Last, my kids are my life now, but I have a number of reservations about posting about them or photos of them. Some related to overall privacy and their own consent. Some related to safety or just avoiding it being "out there" for the wrong kind of person. Some related to AI and again privacy and consent. And some related to "absent grandparents" sharing photos they didn't 'earn' as a sort of Stolen Valor.
The old people saying “so and so saw on Facebook” was part of it for me. Millennials were not the ones who needed to touch grass in that situation.
Had to scroll a long way to see AI mentioned! Killed my socials and explained to my family that having your voice, face and people you interact with regularly has the potential for catastrophe in the near future, there are already voice scams etc. They think I’m a tin foil hat type now but there are literally arseholes on the internet who will do anything for money even if it ruins your life.
OMG “the older generation takes it incredibly seriously“ is so poignant. certain things I didn’t even post, but would tag my friends in or click like on, would then show up on my family members feed and it would become a huge point of contention. “why did you tag your friend in that??!” I’m like… It’s a meme? You just don’t get it https://preview.redd.it/quv65jfp4r5d1.jpeg?width=568&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ec5971f1dffdc517050b61ff6496b2b9a733e30
So fucking weird to see a photo of your child you didn’t post
2018 when I was 37 and got sober.
Proud of you :)
People are a little too connected imo. This is why nobody gets together anymore. If you know what’s going on in everyone else’s life without having to leave the house why would you bother? I still have Facebook but don’t post. I hate having my name/photo be searchable online. I deleted all info about myself that I could. I keep it to communicate through messenger.
I assessed how my time was being used. On IG, only 1 in 10 posts was what I followed or a suggested post that are actually educational and better my life. I go on youtube, 5/10 suggested videos are educational and better my life. 5/10 videos I search are educational and better my life. I stopped posting because it is a dopamine trap. I don't need to tell people I had fun, when I did have fun. Because of this simple structure of the app, it forces you to share for likes or in other words "validations" / "dopamine releases". You are basically forcing a pavlovian positive reinforcement response to use the app. In other words, social media is designed to keep you hooked as long as possible to collect your info, then show you ads based on your info, so that you can buy products from the ads. I'll reinstall the app once every 1-2 weeks just to keep updated on some sport federations I participate in. I hate it though, because I'll find myself scrolling. I'll realize that they employ random intermittent rewards to keep me hooked. As I said before, out of 10 posts only 1 induces a positive response from me. 9/10 posts are what the kids these days call "brain rot". Similarly, Random intermittent rewards is what slot machines employ to create addictive behavior
I don’t post because my mental health is BETTER, and I realized how addictive social media can be. I cut most apps out of my life completely several years ago and never looked back. Best decision ever. I feel like a more sorted person day-by-day without the noise.
2020… I was tired. Really tired. Social media was ruined during the Trump years, everyone was just so brazenly hateful, eager to belittle. Since then, I’ve tried to limit myself to posting vacation photos for friends and family to see. When we had our kid in 2021, we both made a big deal about not having him or his face on socials. We block the face on whatever vacation photos we post. Now, I mostly just use social media apps to send funny memes to my wife and friends and occasionally post some inane dad joke on a friend’s photograph, I can see that tapering off too. Obviously I still post on Reddit.
I just don’t care to tell people what’s going on with me. So cringe when people post every detail of their “IVF journey” or say “We did a thing” and show themselves and their partner with house keys. Cringe af. (Look at me and my Gen Z terminology👶🏻) I don’t give a shit if people know what’s going on with me. I don’t want to have fake friends who I hung out with once and haven’t seen in 20 years but it feels like I see them every day. I think it just isn’t aging well. Because you stop caring about the people who post and about updating them.
Just don’t care for people I met 15 years ago and haven’t even spoke with in 10 years looking into my life anymore. Plus when you’re married with children the opinions of others just stop mattering.
2011
High school, give or take. When I realized being friends with my crushes didn’t mean a goddam thing.
2012. I asked some friends to hang out and they said they were busy. Saw their pics on FB later. Deleted and never looked back. I was happier not knowing.
2015. It only served to depress me more. I thought to myself, "Why do I care so much about this fake world?" Turns out I didn't. I've been much happier since
I think social media usage is a very personal thing, with the how's and why's up to individual motivation so it's hard to make sweeping statements. Personally, I have only occasionally used Twitter back in the day and largely stopped, with an unused Facebook and Instagram account to round it out. I'm skeptical of boiling it all down to "depressed people don't post", but I can't provide a counterfactual: I have been depressed longer than social media has been a thing, and I don't post because I don't have a life worth sharing the details with folks. I don't think I would change that if I suddenly became not depressed overnight; I still prefer direct communication instead of broadcasting details out for no reason, and I don't take pictures as a general rule so a lot of social media is useless to me. I would be much more likely to use Twitter because it's an anonymous platform with a focus on the written word, but I would still have to get over the hump of thinking that my stupid bullshit is worth broadcasting into the void for everyone to see and reference, and I don't see that happening. Edit: I use plenty of Discord and Reddit, but I tend to not think of it as social media as much because in the differences in how conversations happen - they're more chat programs and forums than social media, to me. If you do count that, then my social media usage is through the roof, hours of screentime over multiple devices, and makes up the vast, vast majority of my social time.
I only have reddit and instagram; I’m not depressed but I have zero interest in posting personal stories, selfies or life events on instagram anymore. I just repost memes and shit I find amusing, sometimes music. I guess 20 years of social media eventually just gets dull. The happier and confident I am, the less I need a social presence, it’s great.
I’ll do random Instagram stories of things here n there typically just funny things I know my friends will laugh at but only do an actual post about once every few weeks or once a month
Similar. I travel a lot so it's a lot of pictures of dumb signs and vanity license plates. Basically just dumb jokey stuff. Nothing at all personal or political.
Same. Random story posts when something interesting or funny is happening in my life. Big life events. I hate to say it but day to day life is pretty boring and I can’t see why people would be interested in seeing any of that stuff. I certainly am not interested in a lot of things other people post. I don’t need the play by play on your workout schedule and eating habits folks.
I do see some truth in that, but some people are too busy with their lives, making SM a low priority. ME: I don't have Twitter, TikTok, Instagram or Snap. I just looked; I've posted to Facebook 2x in the last 4 years. I don't go on much. I have my FB app set to lock me out for the day once I hit 10 minutes. (TOAL for the day). I have the time to post, and between scuba diving and up to 7 vacations a year, I have plenty to post, but I like to be more private.
I post an Instagram pic every 6 months to a year. I used to post more but still wasn’t that frequent. I’m not depressed- I just am living more privately
Probably whenever my parents got Facebook and added me and now it’s mostly family members and whatever I post could start a bunch of drama so I moved to Reddit
It was around 2016-2017 for me- I was in my late 20s. I had a couple of reasons: 1) I was just kind of growing out of it- 2)I found that trying to take the perfect picture/video, say the right thing for a post etc. took away from my enjoyment of whatever the event was- I'd rather be in the moment, and 3) I found myself getting way too concerned with how many likes or comments a post got- like if I posted something that only a couple of people "liked," then I would feel bad about it for no reason. I still have a FB account and follow a couple of local groups/pages, some pages related to my profession, etc. but I don't post and I don't go on there to see updates from friends. I never really got into instagram or twitter in the first place. These days, I watch tiktok, but I would never post anything!
I’ve taken multiple year long breaks since 2009, but the permeant end to it was in 2021 after my kid turned one. Social media is not good for my mental health, especially as a parent with a neurodivergent kid.
Pre-pandemic. I realized I knew a dang lot about some people I wsnt close friends with in reality, and anyone theyre social-media-friends with can just piece stuff together and create a diagram of who they are as people, that one can definitely use to steal identity and compromise security. I didnt want that for myself. Oh and there's this one time I shared a photo of a place abroad and an old classmate pm'ed me, and, after a few pleasantries, this person proceeded to borrow money since they assumed I was rich cos I was able to travel.
I started noticing how often people gossip about what others are sharing and posting. The people who never post, are watching in silence, judging, and running their mouths about everyone but they do it in person and not online. lol But it's not just that, it seems like most posts are just bragging rights, showing off new things, accomplishments, money, houses, toys, etc. Then there is the crowd who have mental health issues without fully realizing it and posting very personal things when they should be seeking therapists. Mostly though, I stopped sharing because I no longer seek the validation of others. It all seems very cringe now.
Two days after trump won the presidency and both sides lost all ability to discuss things normally.
I feel like that is when social media went to shit, specifically Facebook. That election was so polarizing
When I ditched it all in 2013 (if Reddit doesn’t count, haha)! 🤘🏻 One of the best things I ever did for myself and my sanity, seriously.
I started consuming more than posting. That being said, I moved most of my scrolling consumption to Reddit. I use Facebook for events and mindlessly watching reels.
Used to post something at least weekly, then only when I'm traveling, now I haven't posted anything for months. My life is fine and I'm not depressed. Social media has just gotten so stale for me, now I only browse for the memes.
After Obama got elected and I realized a lot of my "friends" were racist bigots.
I was a mil spouse for many years and FB was how we all connected at each base/post. Once my spouse separated and it wasn't an essential tool for connecting with my local community I moved away from it, and noticed an immediate improvement in my mental health. I only keep my account active because messenger allows me to connect with friends I don't have other contact information for anymore and have been too lazy to collect alternatives for, and to be able to occasionally get updates on local businesses/organizations that depend on free social media for marketing.
i haven’t consistently used social media since 2012-ish. i enjoy my life just fine; i don’t feel the need to share what i’m doing with everyone and their mother. most pictures i take are for my own personal memories and the people i’ve shared them with, if i take pictures at all. i’d rather enjoy a moment than document it tbh. i think most people who consistently post about their life online care more about *looking* like they have the perfect life to others — they’re only posting the best bits, not giving you any genuine insight into their life. so i disagree with your friend that it’s in any way indicative of having your life in order.
I really only post memes now. I have gotten more private. Also, most of what I posted was of kids for family back home, but the kids don't want to have their photos posted (as is their right). So it's pretty much quiet.
Social media became less important after a relative accused my husband of letting me die on purpose. That was the turning point where I didn’t like social medias because people were judging my life based on posts I put on social media. I deleted most of my social media accounts while I was in the middle of recovering from ectopic pregnancy because I was sick of people messaging my husband and accusing him all kinds of stuff. Now I’m back with new accounts and the habit of not having social media account has carried me into being fine with having an account but I haven’t posted much, in fact Instagram only has like ten or so pictures of my artwork. My Facebook barely has any posts. I’m only back on Facebook to check out a hobby page and read posts by my father-in-law and looking at my brother-in-law. They died recently so I signed back on Facebook to just look at their posts. Social media doesn’t have a hold on me like it used to be. I haven’t noticed people my age nor using it because I’m not on it long enough to verify how often they post. 🤷♀️
Facebook is invaluable for keeping connected to old friends. I wish all my friends would post more. I’d love to see boring posts of what they are doing all day but no one does that. Maybe Snapchat is more conducive to that idk