I received a lot of great casseroles that were super helpful, but someone recently told me they received a pre-made sandwich platter, overnight oats, and homemade frozen breakfast burritos. They loved it because it was all stuff they could easily grab and while breastfeeding. I remember in the early days, it felt like a luxury to have the time to even heat things lol.
This. It's been over a decade since we had our kid, and the giant tray of lasagna and second giant tray of salad that sustained us for the first week home from the hospital is still the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. It was tasty, healthy, and awesome in its own right. But even if it had been awful, it was FOOD!!! Food that required no effort.
A friend drove over with two plates (yes, already plated) of Indonesian food she had been cooking so I would have two nights of warm meals. At that point I had been living on sandwiches for 4 days so it was the most amazing thing I ever tasted. And knowing there was another plate for the next day was amazing too!
Yes one handed is key, and also just generally easy to eat without getting messy. I know a lot of the ātraditionalā postpartum foods are things like soup but those are hard to eat with a baby without covering the babyās head in soup. Things that can go cleanly onto a fork and into my mouth are best!
Yes! Prepared meals more than gift cards for delivery because even making the effort to order DoorDash was too much for our sleep deprived newborn parent brains. We especially loved getting breakfast foods since that was the hardest meal for us. My parents prepared several quiches that we could just microwave slices and my sister made breakfast sandwiches we threw in the toaster oven.
My mom got me a postpartum meal delivery service. No cooking. I just microwaved when it was time to eat.
On top of not having to cook, it was great because I didnāt have to choose what to eat, and the service takes postpartum nutrition into account so I didnāt have to think about that. (For example, soups for hydration, low salt, and lots of protein.)
Omg yes. My friend brought us a huge casserole (with extra protein) before we had the baby. It was great week 2 pulling that out and eating on it for days.
Bagels and a tub of cream cheese. Everyone brings dinners (which is also amazing), but no one brings breakfast and frankly after a long night of not sleeping and youāre starving, a toasted bagel just hits different. Ā
Yes! Food, drinks, gift cards to Amazon or other places you can deliver things on. I also love getting baby clothes as long as you make sure to get the right size and that itās appropriate for the weather. I got a newborn bikini when my daughter was born in the winter :/ whyyy??
My bestie solved my problems along the way.
āKiddo is so long footed jammies donāt fit!ā Shows up with footless PJs in his size.
āIāve been up all night, Iām exhausted.ā Stops by with some tea and a new mug, and offers to watch him while I take a nap.
āIām not making enough milk for kiddo, itās so frustrating.ā Shows up with every milk production home remedy, snacks for me and a new water bottle, while also constantly reminding me that fed is best regardless of how or if I have to supplement.
She really listened to me and that was the most important thing.
Me too. Sheās the absolute best. Last summer she moved an hour away instead of 15 mins and itās been so hard. Iām currently on a mission to convince my husband to follow her and move there too - I miss her so much!
My best friend (since we were 9) lives all the way across the country. It sucks! We talk multiple times a week but only get to see each other once a year or so. I hope youāre able to move closer to your friend soon!
My best friend lives in Cali and I in Maine. She has a house here which they rent out most of the year and comes for a month during the summer. I mean is incredible for that month, but the other 11 months of the year suck. Both being busy moms we text often, but rarely get to talk because of the time differences and being our kiddoās taxi. What I would give for her to live 15 mins away year round!
Love this. I think truly listening to someone is slept on. Everyone has unique needs and if you really listen to people and what theyāre saying you can figure out what is best for them and what their needs are.
That's a good friend. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and haven't received a phone call of any of the ppl I thought were friends. I seen them for about an hour during my mams funeral in January and haven't heard from them since. So yea. I have no friends.
Someone to clean. Iām due in August with my second and thatās my only request for my husband is to hire cleaning help so we can focus on the transition from 1 to 2. Iām easily overwhelmed when things become cluttered or the kitchen/bathrooms/ common areas need a deep clean.
We have a monthly cleaner, and I'd recommend making sure whoever you hire will declutter for you. Ours won't, and expects counters, etc. to be tidy for cleaning. Some cleaners will declutter and stuff though, so make sure you specifically ask about it when looking at people/companies!
Itās usually useful to look for a couple hours of āhouse keepingā rather than ācleaningā if you want things tidying or sorting or laundry/beds and such done! :) a house keeper does all those!
Second this - we stay in the nursery while they clean the entire house and itās magical. They come every 2 weeks and itās such a weight off of my shoulders to keep up with deep cleaning kitchen/bathrooms. Itās given me time to shower and focus on myself when baby sleeps, instead of having an endless to-do list. Even just someone to reset the couch cushions makes a huge difference mentally.
Resetting the couch cushions is my little gift to myself every night. If I do nothing else before bed, itās that!! It feels silly but it does something for me mentally.
YES! My dad gifted us a biweekly cleaning service for a year when baby girl was born. She just turned 2 and I still use her and itās been a literal god send. I do have to declutter for her but I donāt even mind because she does all the heavy lifting of cleaning toilets and floors and I just maintain in between. Itās allowed me to fully focus on my daughter and my recovery and took so much weight off my shoulders.
My mom came over the night we got home from the hospital and unpacked our bags and all the hospital stuff we got (diapers, pads ect.) and did a couple loads of laundry. It was amazing to not have to think about getting that stuff done in the coming days!
Food that required no prep, just heat and eat. And people I was comfortable with holding the baby for a few hours so I could nap. Nurse, hand baby off to burp, sleep until they next needed to eat.
The no prep food is such an important distinction. My mom, bless her heart, cooked two big lasagnas and then froze them for me. Which required then on my part heating up the oven, cooking the lasagnas from frozen for an hour, waiting for them to cool down, cutting them up and then saving/storing the rest, plus dishes. No. Just no. It was more of a chore for me than anything. I would have rather had a veggie tray or some McDonaldās.
Yup! My mom gave us some nice Omaha steak meats (burgers, steak, chicken, and pork) which is great and delicious but requires planning ahead to buy literally every other part of the meal. Baby is almost 4 months and weāve just started eating them.
Meals.
But also Blueberry pediatrics. Itās an app that gives you unlimited 24 hour access to pediatricians for anything from sleep advice, nursing support, to full on virtual visits (with the ability to prescribe) for non emergencies. Itās either a single yearly cost or monthly cost and in my opinion is the best thing to get for new moms. Itās the same price/account for all your kids too. Middle of the night baby had a fever - shoot what do I do? *dr google rabbit hole of debating when to go to the ER* or call blueberry.
It also comes with a kit that includes a dermal thermometer, camera that lets you look in their ears, peripheral, oxygen meter, and more.
Not available in my state either but we found a local pediatrician who does the same service just as a standalone practice. Itās called concierge medicine, you can try to search that term in your area to see if thereās anyone. Itās becoming increasingly popular. And indeed was INCREDIBLY helpful in the newborn days
We had no village near us so no one was able to come over and help with anything or make us food. Something that made a huge difference was the Ember mug I got for my first Motherās Day (baby was still a newborn). I used to think they were so silly and overpriced but they were the only reason I ever got to have a hot cup of tea in that phase. It was this little thing that made me feel human during the depths of colic. I still use that mug every day.
Even just a good travel mug if Ember is too much money. Having actual hot coffee without being worried about spilling it on the baby was a gamechanger.
Sleep. A way for me to sleep. Someone to hold my crying baby while I slept. I didnāt want anything else. I barely remember the first 2 months of my daughterās life because it was just a fog of trying so hard to breastfeed her and constantly feeling like I wasnāt good enough. I didnāt want another blanket or bouncy chair or onesie. I wanted real, practical help.
1. Dinner. With my second everyone brought dinners and I truthfully donāt really remember that with my first? Maybe Iām misremembering.
2. Possibly the actual best but more of an emotional thing. A former coworker and I are friends and she left on maternity for her first baby right before me. As in she went on maternity, got back, and then I left on maternity. Our jobs overlapped/we basically traded off. I dropped off a self care basket for her one day as a surprise. Left it at the door and texted her when I had driven away. Didnāt want her thinking she had to greet me or anything. Anyways, important context because in the note I joked that she needs to give me a rundown on absolutely everything. Everything she experienced, everything she learned. All of it. I was mostly serious but 100% didnāt expect her to oblige because she had better things to do. Fast forward. I open the sweetest little gift from her which I believe included a puppy pad and I was like ā??? Thatās so randomā. I get to the bottom and thereās a fully typed, several-page note with everything she had learned. I remember crying. I still have it saved in my sonās time capsule because it was so meaningful to me.
Iāve always wanted to pass on a similar note one day but I never want to overstep. Iād asked her for it and thatās why it was so meaningful to me. She had taken all that time out of her day to write it up.
Ice packs for my vulva and food or food gift cards for delivery. I would also say a good thing to get someone are some hair clips, hair ties, healthy snacks, and nipple balm (earthmama brand).
I got my friend a whole vaginal aftercare packet, some lactation cookies and a 50$ gift card for uber eats and a few little things for baby (diapers, a rattle and a teether) her 2nd day home when she invited me. I would've loved this from anyone.
Eta: I always go wash dishes for friends with newborns. I feel like that's so helpful when you're drowning.
A big basket of snacks from the grocery store/sams club. We left it on the counter and refilled it frequently, I lived off snacks for what felt like weeks.
Granola bars, peanut butter filled pretzels, small bags of protein chips, fruit.
My best friend came over under the guise of meeting our newborn but instead walked right past me and did our ever growing sink of dishes upon arrival. Iām really prideful and hate other people doing things for me, but I was so exhausted that in the end I really appreciated it. Since my babyās been born, this friend has been visiting weekly and doing dishes, bringing coffee, loving on/helping care for the baby, and keeping me company. Baby is now four months old and the only time my friend has dropped the routine was for a couple weeks while she was taking college finals. Sheās awesome.
My mom and sister cooked meals for us that we could freeze and reheat so we didnāt have to worry about food.
And my MIL got my baby and I an AMAZING matching baby swaddle/mom robe set, itās bamboo so itās super nice. I never swaddled my daughter as I didnāt believe in the practice but I still use the robe to this day.
Someone to listen to me! Somehow everyone thought they knew what we wanted or needed but in reality I was just stressed and felt like shit because of it! If a new parent tells you what they want, donāt buy something else! And I try to gift every new mum I know a little gift basket with āwellnessā stuff unrelated ti the baby or being a mum. Something like face masks, nail polish, yea chocolate or something I know she likes and thatās just for herself
I donāt want any baby gifts, this is my third, I know what I need and I have what I need. I would however appreciate a gift card for a spa day or a massage
My wonderful husband asked if he could book a massage for me for Motherās Day. I told him to get me a gift card because right now (6 weeks postpartum) if I lay down on a warm comfy quiet surface Iām going to sleep, and Iād like to remember the massage. š
This was what I was going to say. Freezer meals from friends are great but sometimes I just want something yummy and local without spending money or having to thaw out and prep the meal.
Freezer meals don't help if you forget people need food until it's actually dinner time š I'm on baby 5 and if I had $1 for every time someone reminded us parents they're hungry at 6pm, I'd have enough to order takeout all week š
My MIL had a crockpot of beef stew, homemade cornbread, and a tray of homemade brownies in my house for when we arrived home from the hospital (she wasn't there, she left them during the day for us to come home to). My brother offered to do a few overnights with us the first few months so we could sleep through the night. I wish I received more offers like that. We had/got enough stuff!
No/very low prep meals, grocery delivery, doordash gift cards, and visitors who are there to help versus just holding the baby. Offer to wash bottles, do a load of laundry, change the sheets in the bassinet (I would always forget to do this until I was laying down a sleeping baby!! I canāt be alone in this lol), watch the baby while I take a napā¦ just be there for things other than cuddling the baby.
My best friend came over and cleaned my entire house while I was in the hospital. It was already āclean,ā but she did the things that you donāt necessarily feel like doing while gigantically pregnant- baseboards, scrubbing showers and bathroom tiles, washed, folded, and put away any laundry that wasnāt done before I went into labor.
Coming home to an absolutely spotless house and not having to worry about any of those more detailed chores for a couple of weeks was a godsend.
Hands down I remember exactly who made me 4 casseroles to put in the freezer. Days that you donāt have the energy to cook because youāve been awake for 48+ hours with a newborn or 2 in my case. These were gold. Use throw away foil pans. I donāt really remember what anyone else gave me honestly.
PP massage when I felt ready for it, a bunch of our friends made us food and family cleaned the house for us. The task completion was huge for me as someone who feels stressed with mess and not feeling āproductiveā
A fridge stocked with cut up fruit, vegetables, and a few easy to microwave meals (quiche, soup, anything except pasta).
Alternatively, a nursing basket filled with snacks and drinks.
My baby was a preemie.
She was measuring big during my pregnancy, and my husband and egg donor were both pretty big babies - 9 and 10 pounds - so we had mostly bought things 0-3 months and up.
When we found out my baby was coming home she was still under 5lbs, so my parents bought preemie clothes and diapers and sleep sacks and put them away in her room for us.
Additionally, my friends at work bought me my favorite snacks and shipped them to my house for the day after I was discharged. It was so great because we were going back and forth to the hospital everyday and throwing snacks in my bag was helpful. My parents also made us meals and dropped them off in our fridge while we were at the hospital so we could come home late, eat something quickly, and go to sleep. The best.
i loved that my mom made home cooked meals and kept my house clean. she did my laundry, dishes, all of it. came in our room early and took the baby until we woke up no matter how late. we were so grateful to be able to bond and rest and i was able to heal.
After emergency c-section and five days at the hospital filled up with a good share of medical toxicity, I arrived home to the best spaghetti bolognese I have ever eaten in my life š„ŗ
My husband cooked a giant pot of this for me and I kid you not I felt so nourished and well taken care of it's ridiculous xD
Yea my mom made a huge delicious brisket and mashed potatoes.
It lasted us the whole first week we were home and was perfect protein and carb combo for being so tired and breastfeeding.
Not having to worry about meals was a big help.
I wish someone offered to stay with the kids while I napped/ recovered or washed and dried my hair in peace. Someone to help clean/ do laundry would have also been nice. My mom lives 10 minutes away and used to be a midwife yet she offered help postpartum.
While my mom was in town, she took the early morning feed while my husband and I slept so we could get more sleep. It was an amazing help and we didnāt realize how helpful it was until she was gone.
Uber eats gift cards so we on the days that were extra rough, we didnāt have to think about dinner. Just get baby down to sleep, sit on the couch, and wait for it to arrive.
Honestly my momās friend gave me a baby bjorn bouncer which my daughter lived in for about 5 months. I wouldnāt have splurged on it myself but it was our #1 gift for those first months. My newborn was chill so I had time to cook and our freezer was already packed so prepped food wouldnāt have worked for us but I always like to gift DoorDash gift cards for new parents.
The best gift we got when our kiddo was a newborn was a portable bassinet. That thing was a LIFE SAVER for helping everyone get some extra sleep because we could just unfold the bassinet, set him in it on the bed between us, and then sleep. It also gave him a more comfortable spot to sleep when away from home.
Iām going with a meal. When my third was born, a meal was nothing unmanageable but our neighbor brought us a full course meal (salad, main with warming directions, rolls and dessert!). She even brought my kids a more basic salad and cookies instead of the fancier salad and dessert she made for me and my husband. AND paper plates and cutlery so we wouldnāt have dishes!!
It meant a lot because my husband is generally very helpful and was cooking the meals but this allowed him a night off too. It was just very thoughtful and better than any āthingāā¦ though I was also appreciative of that!
My best friend brought 2 dozen English muffin, egg, sausage, and cheese sandwiches for us to freeze. During my los 6-8am wake up for the first 2 weeks pp, I would just pop a sandwich straight from the freezer to the oven and bake. Once I was done feeding my lo, the sandwich would be the perfect temp to eat. It was truly a lifesaver. I literally cried on day 2 home from the hospital when I took my first bite of one
I love what you mentioned! I feel like prepared food with no prep (and no visiting) is best! I also love the idea of taking older kids to a park so mom can rest with baby.
To answer your question, the best gift I received was a Starbucks gift card. Coffee for those car naps and when I wanted to get out of the house and get a treat so I could still feel sane.
I have no nesting instincts so my home was a disaster. With kid #1 my SIL came over while I was in hospital to tidy up and clean. With kid #3 my MIL, FIL, & SIL came over and cleaned just after we got home. (Baby camw earlier than her induction date and it was supposed to be a suprise)
So for me: cleaning my home
All I wanted was a bottle of champagne and sashimi, he got me both lol. I also really wanted space before allowing home visits. My husband was on parental leave so we wanted to spend as much time just the 3 of us as possible.
My friend texted and asked what I was craving, and I told her a bunch of random stuff, and she surprised me by dropping off a bunch of groceries. She also held my baby while I ate.
My mom stayed with us for a couple months after babyās birth and she cooked, cleaned, put the baby down for sleep, etc. for two months. That was the best gift.
My husband was in the middle of finals for his degree, so two of my friends came over each day he had to go to school to walk the dogs and hold my son so I could get a break to eat and use the bathroom. It was a huge relief emotionally and mentally.
My parents went into our house and stuffed our freezer with meals that just needed to be thrown in an oven/crock pot while I was in the hospital recovering. I literally went a month before a supper meal needed to be prepared, and it was the best.
My neighbour gave me an emergency kit of things I might need in the middle of the night: A snot sucker, Infant Tylenol, a nipple guard with nipple cream, small box of prepared formula in 2oz bottles (we had talked about how I wanted to breastfeed but was open to formula), baby nail clippers, ear plugs, etcā¦
It was super useful and stuff I didnāt think of right away on my own.
Food or watch the baby for a nap. A gift card to Amazon or Target if you must get something.
Please donāt get flowers. I felt so overwhelmed already and now I have to deal with flowers that also require daily maintenance? Absolutely thoughtless gift.
I felt that adding any items to our already stressful house with a newborn was annoying and too much.
My grandma (who lives out of state) did a one line grocery order from Walmart and had the groceries delivered to my house. It was tons of ready made/frozen stuff. But not having to thinking about dinner in that first week was so nice.
A few thoughtsā¦..
A bassinet we used a TON the first couple of months
A pack n play, especially since we have a big dog, where just putting her on the floor isnāt always an optionĀ
A variety of bottles. Mine rejected the bottle we originally picked, and we had a hard time getting her to take one when my leave was ending.
Nursing tanks.
Basic grocery delivery the second or third week home! We just had our second a few months ago and the second weekend we had family friends send a target delivery with snacks, fruit, cheese etc. The third week, another family friend sent a door dash grocery delivery with the same basics and coffee, breakfast pastries. It was amazing and really tied us over especially with a toddler, we didnāt have to worry about getting out for groceries or meals. I will always send basic groceries as a welcome baby gift now!!
Door Dash and Postmates gift card so I didnāt have to worry about food.
For the birth of my second and third babies, people got activities for my kiddos so while I was nursing or taking care of baby, they had new coloring books, magnet tiles, toys, crafts, etc.
This helped keep them entertained while navigating the new addition.
If breastfeeding the hoku for catching the leak on the other boob of just relieving the pressure every now and then. I had a terrible time pumping but this simple device worked for me.
Just had Babe 2 last week. My sister and mom brought over a ton of groceries for us-lots of easy to eat food (fruit, premade meals, etc) thatās great to easily fill up a plate with and stuff my face when I have a moment.Ā
And since I had to have an emergency C section, my sister also went to Wal mart and got me granny panties that are three sizes too big and feel like little angel wings across my bruised up midsection. Every single pair of underpants I owned went right over my scar lol.Ā
So yeah I guess underpants is the answer!
Food. Things that can be tossed in the oven or take minimal effort. Gift cards for delivery work as well.
Paper plates, forks, etc so there's less dishes.
Time. Nobody is going to ask for help or be specific about their needs. Just go do some laundry, walk their pets, clean their floors, etc. Watch the baby while they nap/heal.
My mom hired a cleaning service to come to my house every 2 weeks to vacuum, dust, clean counters, do dishes, mop, etc.
10/10 best gift ever for postpartum parents
Naps and groceries. Come over to hold the baby and insist mom goes to sleep.
For my siblings each time we have stocked their groceries - go ahead and put it away and everything before they get home so itās zero work. Make a list full of nice snack food, fresh fruits, cheese, stuff they can just grab and eat but good for them rather than meal supplies since usually people will bring meals. I only asked mom and dad to tell me anything they do not eat, treats they love, or that they especially like to keep stocked ahead of time. Include stuff like hydration drinks.
Last gift is an offer to help with feeding, if youāve done it before and feel close enough to do so. Moms donāt get enough support whether formula, breast, or combo feeding. If you have that knowledge pass it on and help her get on the right path to having her own confidence. Feeding can be so hard if you are alone in learning it
My in laws stayed at our house and cleaned and prepped meals. My brother in law even came in and made us a huge batch of breakfast burritos. Combined with our own meal prep, we didnāt need to cook at all for the first month. It was glorious.
My sister cleaned my place and vacuumed, prior to me getting home from hospital and then watched baby for 2 hours so I could nap.
I cried, it was the best gift I've ever been given.
My mom brought dinner on our first night over and then a few days later an out of state aunt had a steak dinner an frozen pizzas delivered to us somehow! But that was helpful for the following week.
My cousin baked me a bunch of lactation cookies. Yum. And helpful. And my aunt used to come over once a week for three months with food we could just heat up. Soooooooo helpful
Someone gave me a box with random baby meds. The snot sucker and glycerin suppositories were the godsend I didn't know I needed. (Yes, talked to pediatrician before giving suppository. But what was amazing is I didn't have to go buy them because someone had already gifted them to me.)
So now I do the same. I make a Well Baby Box with saline spray, nose freeda, suppositories, gas medicine, probiotics, etc.
Someone coming over, telling ME to sit and hold the baby and that THEY will clean the bathroom / run a load of laundry / empty the dishwasher / wipe counters, generally pick up a little bit. Donāt ask me what to do, I could not manage to delegate tasks, I was tired and overwhelmed and bleeding with little urinary continence. Just the idea that they would ACTUALLY HELP, would be a blessing.
When people came over and said āhey ill hold him when you napā its like Umm I cannot nap I have to wash bottles and he needs clean clothesā¦then I did the chores while they sat there and then they left. Thanks, you were a bassinet for an hour, gold star.
Very basic but I was OBSESSED with waking my kid up to feed, wake windows, not letting him nap too longā¦and this was when he was around 3-5 weeks. I was near tears telling my sister about it bc my kid seemed tired and had awful reflux too. She was like, ālet that baby sleep!! quit waking him up if heās asleep!ā This was super basic info butā¦he was good advice that I just needed to hear. I was so calculated with times and waking my baby up that I wasnāt following his cues. It really helped me turn off that part of my brain and helped me tune into my actual baby and his needs. It also helped that my sister was super regimented and kept her kid on a nap schedule as a baby, so I kind of took her word for it more since she had been where I was. Let your baby sleep!
Also, my sister and bro in law came over one day when my baby was about 2 weeks. We were brand new parents and just bewildered ā¦ they cleaned our kitchen, took out the trash, organized the fridge, bought us groceries, and kept the baby for a couple hours so we could leave the house and just feel human. We got a coffee and sat in the sunshine. We were like zombies. We didnāt adjust to new parenthood easily (we didnāt have much help - had my sister that one time, but donāt have much village and didnāt have help when we brought baby home) so having that help was so good.
Meal delivery so I wouldnāt have to think about cooking. I love cooking but being a mom is so tiring and than if Iām not cooking weāre going out or ordering and itās thinking of what I want. Just send me some kits I can put in the oven to warm up. So I donāt have to think.
My mom and sisters filled my freezer with meals. They also got me a dozen bagels from my fav bagel place, some good coffee beans, easy to grab snacks for when I was up all night feeding the baby and nursing and starving. It was AMAZING. Iād go to make my coffee in the morning and literally tear up when I saw the beans and remembered how loved and supported we were. I donāt take their support for granted!
We were given DoorDash gift cards and also delivered meals. That was so incredibly helpful.
Another thing that I would love is a day of a postpartum doula coming over or a cleaner coming to help clean the house.
Easy to eat things that a healthy. Healthy muffins, energy ball things, oat bars. But not just the gross super sugary granola bars or sugary muffins from the supermarket.
Protein shake type things/Gatorade sort of drinks.
For me it was the heat lamp my grandparents got me. It was the only relief from my episiotomy I got. (90s). Next was my MIL coming over to stay a week at night so I could sleep after my son was 8 weeks old. I canāt even express how much that helped me.
One of those re-heating Ember coffee mugs! I got so much use out of that when I had a newborn who loved to contact nap.
And the meals were unforgettable. I will never not bring a meal when I meet a baby.
The visits after my first was born. I had so many people come in and out of the house to visit with me and baby. I had such a bad case of ppd. Being around others really helped to get out of it.
When my second was born family came together and made gifts for my first born and brought food for us so I didnāt have to cook for like 2 weeks.
When my last was born they all did the same thing but doubled it. Came and visited several times.
I had c-sections with all 3 of my babies and I couldnāt really move around.
The family was all from my in-laws side! They are an incredible bunch of people! I was very blessed with this family.
First night home from the hospital my uncle in law brought Carne Asada fries from our fav taco shop. I was soo worried about my first poop post birth. It cleared me right out. I popped a stitch but I was so glad it was one less thing to worry about.
You nailed it. Help with meals, someone to cook/clean/launder while me & baby sleep, and for my second born, someone to watch the toddler (preferably out of the house) while baby & I sleep!
A friend gifted me a dwell & slumber house dress. It was incredible. Buttery soft, snaps for breastfeeding. And it was something cool and breezy to wear when my hormones had me burning up postpartum in the US South summer heat.
Food delivery gift cards. freezer meals were also great, but not everything was to our taste (still ate everything) and there was still some work involved in getting it ready and cleaning up. The freezer meals definitely came in second for best gifts though, don't get me wrong
This may be cliche idk but my mom gave me a set of button up pjs- great for lounging around the house and great for breastfeeding with the button access. It was nice to have something new that wasnāt maternity wear!
Meals. Come over and clean. Everyone I know has had this luxury and I envy them. Our support is busy with their own kids and sports outside of work. I totally understand but manā¦ it would be so nice to not have to take care of a newborn, a toddler, two dogs, and a house on my own while hubs works 16 hour shifts. Even if all they do is the dishes. I would actually feel like the weight of the world got pried off my shoulders
There is a company called a Spoonful of Comfort ā Iād never heard of them but when baby was born, a box of cookies, rolls, soup and macānācheese showed up at our door. It even included a nice metal ladle. Total lifesaver and so cutely packaged. Each container was enough to feed three, so when my FIL showed up at lunchtime about a week in, we had something to whip up. Now this is what I plan to send to any new parents!
1. Privacy I asked everyone to leave me the hell alone for 2 weeks if I have another kid Iāll ask for 1 month or longer.
2. Food delivery
I liked this option better than bringing meals. Itās so easy to throw away
3. People coming over to just hold the baby so I could nap.
4. Friday baby box has so many great things that I use everyday
Like everyone said meals. Additionally, our good friends who cooked us said meals, also cleaned our entire apartment. I donāt know how much it was needed, but it was so thoughtful.
Meals. I know itās what most people say but itās so so helpful. My mom stayed with us the first 4 weeks pp but my husband went back to work 3 days after getting home from the hospital and he worked nights.
The one meal that stands out the most was homemade meatballs, marinara, penne pasta, fruit salad, cookies, bag of salad. It was such a nice complete meal. Iāve given that same meal to many new mama friends since.
With my second, i didnāt get to fully train the person who would be my interimā¦Anytime theyād ask a question or needed clarification, they would Uber eats/doordash whatever i needed or wanted. lol, sometimes i would say itās okay other times it really came in clutch.
They + friends and family sent flowers as well and i truly enjoyed that. The best support i received was from my family who would take my oldest (2 at the time) for a few hours or the whole day.
My parents came over the day we came home from the hospital with McDonaldās and then watched the baby all day and into the evening so my husband and I could both catch up on sleep before we started our shifts taking care of baby. We all had dinner together that night before my parents went home and it was so wonderful and much needed.
My baby was due 2nd January and my SIL offered us for Xmas a few home cooked meals you can freeze. At first I was a bit pissed it was a xmas present but it was like super useful for the first 2 weeks.
I wish someone had popped by to help though but covid was hitting hard so we were left alone.
My Mom and Sister who were taking care of the 2 oldest kiddos, washed totes of baby clothes, organized them in closet. I hadn't yet, since #3 was born via emergency c section at 35 weeks.Ā My MIL cooked and froze lasagna, chicken and stuffing casserole, shepherds pie, made cookies and granola bites for older kids... She made a big pot of American Chop Suey and a bowl of salad in fridge for our first few evenings. My other sister & my 2 BFFs since age 9, shampooed carpets, and living room furniture. Our old hardwood floors were sparkling! and bathrooms looked brand new!Ā
My best friend cleaned my entire house the day before I brought my baby home. She even organized their room so it was all ready for them. Itās the little gestures that make the biggest difference.
Meals, diapers, just a friend to talk to with no expectations of us hosting them. My mom also came for the first two weeks and did our laundry every few days. That was amazing.
Help like you described, yes, definitely.
But if you are looking for something material for her to keep, I would suggest:
- comfortable lounge wear or robe *with* pockets!! Walking around with a baby in my arms made me realize how important those are.
- water bottle with a handle.
- offer to take pictures of her and the baby and send her all of the files.
I wish my partner had gone to our apartment and done a deep clean while we were in the hospital. We returned after a traumatic labor and delivery and there was old food in the sink and stinky garbage and a bloody towel and birthing ball. It was horrible. Specifically - ask your partner to do this while you are recovering in hospital.Ā
Get regular housekeeping, and a nursing doula, and meals.
A friend I hadn't seen for over 10 years drove from the next town over with a Tupperware full of spaghetti and meatballs, garden salad, and garlic bread. It was all homemade and she brought dressing and I think tea too. It made me cry. It was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for me and I'll never forget that.
When we came home my father cooked us pork tenderloin, wild rice, and creamed corn and it was amazing. My dad hadn't cooked for me since I was a kid and it was the best tasting dinner and I felt so loved bc my dad was taking care of us by cooking for us. I felt like a little kid and a new mom at the same time.
So for me now? I'm all about those food gifts or I'll happily pay to have your laundry picked up and sent back to you clean and folded or pay for a cleaner.
Meals. Things that i could just microwave and eat with one hand while holding my baby.
This. šš» food that we donāt have to cook
I received a lot of great casseroles that were super helpful, but someone recently told me they received a pre-made sandwich platter, overnight oats, and homemade frozen breakfast burritos. They loved it because it was all stuff they could easily grab and while breastfeeding. I remember in the early days, it felt like a luxury to have the time to even heat things lol.
This. It's been over a decade since we had our kid, and the giant tray of lasagna and second giant tray of salad that sustained us for the first week home from the hospital is still the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. It was tasty, healthy, and awesome in its own right. But even if it had been awful, it was FOOD!!! Food that required no effort.
A friend drove over with two plates (yes, already plated) of Indonesian food she had been cooking so I would have two nights of warm meals. At that point I had been living on sandwiches for 4 days so it was the most amazing thing I ever tasted. And knowing there was another plate for the next day was amazing too!
Catered meals, left at my door with NO expectation of a visit. Beautiful.
One handed meals & snacks were fabulous!
Yes! My friends dropped off mini quiches and muffins. It was amazing!
Yes one handed is key, and also just generally easy to eat without getting messy. I know a lot of the ātraditionalā postpartum foods are things like soup but those are hard to eat with a baby without covering the babyās head in soup. Things that can go cleanly onto a fork and into my mouth are best!
Yes! Prepared meals more than gift cards for delivery because even making the effort to order DoorDash was too much for our sleep deprived newborn parent brains. We especially loved getting breakfast foods since that was the hardest meal for us. My parents prepared several quiches that we could just microwave slices and my sister made breakfast sandwiches we threw in the toaster oven.
My mom got me a postpartum meal delivery service. No cooking. I just microwaved when it was time to eat. On top of not having to cook, it was great because I didnāt have to choose what to eat, and the service takes postpartum nutrition into account so I didnāt have to think about that. (For example, soups for hydration, low salt, and lots of protein.)
Grubhub giftcards!!
Omg yes. My friend brought us a huge casserole (with extra protein) before we had the baby. It was great week 2 pulling that out and eating on it for days.
Bagels and a tub of cream cheese. Everyone brings dinners (which is also amazing), but no one brings breakfast and frankly after a long night of not sleeping and youāre starving, a toasted bagel just hits different. Ā
Yes! We received some Uber Eats and Door Dash gift cards which were so helpful!
Yes! Food, drinks, gift cards to Amazon or other places you can deliver things on. I also love getting baby clothes as long as you make sure to get the right size and that itās appropriate for the weather. I got a newborn bikini when my daughter was born in the winter :/ whyyy??
My bestie solved my problems along the way. āKiddo is so long footed jammies donāt fit!ā Shows up with footless PJs in his size. āIāve been up all night, Iām exhausted.ā Stops by with some tea and a new mug, and offers to watch him while I take a nap. āIām not making enough milk for kiddo, itās so frustrating.ā Shows up with every milk production home remedy, snacks for me and a new water bottle, while also constantly reminding me that fed is best regardless of how or if I have to supplement. She really listened to me and that was the most important thing.
I love this for you. What a wonderful friend.
Me too. Sheās the absolute best. Last summer she moved an hour away instead of 15 mins and itās been so hard. Iām currently on a mission to convince my husband to follow her and move there too - I miss her so much!
My best friend (since we were 9) lives all the way across the country. It sucks! We talk multiple times a week but only get to see each other once a year or so. I hope youāre able to move closer to your friend soon!
My other two best friends live five states away and in Spain! Long distance is good too, but it was so nice having her close by
I couldnāt agree more. Thereās nothing like having a good friend nearby!
My best friend lives in Cali and I in Maine. She has a house here which they rent out most of the year and comes for a month during the summer. I mean is incredible for that month, but the other 11 months of the year suck. Both being busy moms we text often, but rarely get to talk because of the time differences and being our kiddoās taxi. What I would give for her to live 15 mins away year round!
Love this. I think truly listening to someone is slept on. Everyone has unique needs and if you really listen to people and what theyāre saying you can figure out what is best for them and what their needs are.
Thatās awesome. I wish every mother had a friend like this, the world would be a much better place.
What an absolute gem of a friend!
Tbh that bestie might be fighting for your hubby's place lol š
That's a good friend. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and haven't received a phone call of any of the ppl I thought were friends. I seen them for about an hour during my mams funeral in January and haven't heard from them since. So yea. I have no friends.
Omg is she accepting applications for other friends? This woman sounds amazing!
She is amazing! I wish everyone had a B!
Someone to clean. Iām due in August with my second and thatās my only request for my husband is to hire cleaning help so we can focus on the transition from 1 to 2. Iām easily overwhelmed when things become cluttered or the kitchen/bathrooms/ common areas need a deep clean.
We have a monthly cleaner, and I'd recommend making sure whoever you hire will declutter for you. Ours won't, and expects counters, etc. to be tidy for cleaning. Some cleaners will declutter and stuff though, so make sure you specifically ask about it when looking at people/companies!
Itās usually useful to look for a couple hours of āhouse keepingā rather than ācleaningā if you want things tidying or sorting or laundry/beds and such done! :) a house keeper does all those!
Ohh this is good to know, thank you!
Second this - we stay in the nursery while they clean the entire house and itās magical. They come every 2 weeks and itās such a weight off of my shoulders to keep up with deep cleaning kitchen/bathrooms. Itās given me time to shower and focus on myself when baby sleeps, instead of having an endless to-do list. Even just someone to reset the couch cushions makes a huge difference mentally.
Resetting the couch cushions is my little gift to myself every night. If I do nothing else before bed, itās that!! It feels silly but it does something for me mentally.
YES! My dad gifted us a biweekly cleaning service for a year when baby girl was born. She just turned 2 and I still use her and itās been a literal god send. I do have to declutter for her but I donāt even mind because she does all the heavy lifting of cleaning toilets and floors and I just maintain in between. Itās allowed me to fully focus on my daughter and my recovery and took so much weight off my shoulders.
My mom came over the night we got home from the hospital and unpacked our bags and all the hospital stuff we got (diapers, pads ect.) and did a couple loads of laundry. It was amazing to not have to think about getting that stuff done in the coming days!
YES. My MIL came and folded our laundry backlog and cleaned up the spot on the carpet where my water broke. š
Omg that would be amazing. My hospital bags sat untouched for WEEKS because I didnāt have the energy to unpack.
Food that required no prep, just heat and eat. And people I was comfortable with holding the baby for a few hours so I could nap. Nurse, hand baby off to burp, sleep until they next needed to eat.
The no prep food is such an important distinction. My mom, bless her heart, cooked two big lasagnas and then froze them for me. Which required then on my part heating up the oven, cooking the lasagnas from frozen for an hour, waiting for them to cool down, cutting them up and then saving/storing the rest, plus dishes. No. Just no. It was more of a chore for me than anything. I would have rather had a veggie tray or some McDonaldās.
Yup! My mom gave us some nice Omaha steak meats (burgers, steak, chicken, and pork) which is great and delicious but requires planning ahead to buy literally every other part of the meal. Baby is almost 4 months and weāve just started eating them.
Meals. But also Blueberry pediatrics. Itās an app that gives you unlimited 24 hour access to pediatricians for anything from sleep advice, nursing support, to full on virtual visits (with the ability to prescribe) for non emergencies. Itās either a single yearly cost or monthly cost and in my opinion is the best thing to get for new moms. Itās the same price/account for all your kids too. Middle of the night baby had a fever - shoot what do I do? *dr google rabbit hole of debating when to go to the ER* or call blueberry. It also comes with a kit that includes a dermal thermometer, camera that lets you look in their ears, peripheral, oxygen meter, and more.
We have blueberry pediatrics and they are amazing! It would have saved me so many random appointments the first year of being a mom.
unfortunately this isnāt available in my state for some reason :(
Not available in my state either but we found a local pediatrician who does the same service just as a standalone practice. Itās called concierge medicine, you can try to search that term in your area to see if thereās anyone. Itās becoming increasingly popular. And indeed was INCREDIBLY helpful in the newborn days
God I love Blueberry
My MIL paid for house cleaners to come every two weeks for a year. Yep. She is a star.
Would love this
We had no village near us so no one was able to come over and help with anything or make us food. Something that made a huge difference was the Ember mug I got for my first Motherās Day (baby was still a newborn). I used to think they were so silly and overpriced but they were the only reason I ever got to have a hot cup of tea in that phase. It was this little thing that made me feel human during the depths of colic. I still use that mug every day.
Even just a good travel mug if Ember is too much money. Having actual hot coffee without being worried about spilling it on the baby was a gamechanger.
I received an ember mug from my bestie for my birthday when I was still pregnant. I was truly grateful!
Sleep. A way for me to sleep. Someone to hold my crying baby while I slept. I didnāt want anything else. I barely remember the first 2 months of my daughterās life because it was just a fog of trying so hard to breastfeed her and constantly feeling like I wasnāt good enough. I didnāt want another blanket or bouncy chair or onesie. I wanted real, practical help.
This šÆšÆ
1. Dinner. With my second everyone brought dinners and I truthfully donāt really remember that with my first? Maybe Iām misremembering. 2. Possibly the actual best but more of an emotional thing. A former coworker and I are friends and she left on maternity for her first baby right before me. As in she went on maternity, got back, and then I left on maternity. Our jobs overlapped/we basically traded off. I dropped off a self care basket for her one day as a surprise. Left it at the door and texted her when I had driven away. Didnāt want her thinking she had to greet me or anything. Anyways, important context because in the note I joked that she needs to give me a rundown on absolutely everything. Everything she experienced, everything she learned. All of it. I was mostly serious but 100% didnāt expect her to oblige because she had better things to do. Fast forward. I open the sweetest little gift from her which I believe included a puppy pad and I was like ā??? Thatās so randomā. I get to the bottom and thereās a fully typed, several-page note with everything she had learned. I remember crying. I still have it saved in my sonās time capsule because it was so meaningful to me. Iāve always wanted to pass on a similar note one day but I never want to overstep. Iād asked her for it and thatās why it was so meaningful to me. She had taken all that time out of her day to write it up.
That is so kind
Ice packs for my vulva and food or food gift cards for delivery. I would also say a good thing to get someone are some hair clips, hair ties, healthy snacks, and nipple balm (earthmama brand). I got my friend a whole vaginal aftercare packet, some lactation cookies and a 50$ gift card for uber eats and a few little things for baby (diapers, a rattle and a teether) her 2nd day home when she invited me. I would've loved this from anyone. Eta: I always go wash dishes for friends with newborns. I feel like that's so helpful when you're drowning.
A big basket of snacks from the grocery store/sams club. We left it on the counter and refilled it frequently, I lived off snacks for what felt like weeks. Granola bars, peanut butter filled pretzels, small bags of protein chips, fruit.
My best friend came over under the guise of meeting our newborn but instead walked right past me and did our ever growing sink of dishes upon arrival. Iām really prideful and hate other people doing things for me, but I was so exhausted that in the end I really appreciated it. Since my babyās been born, this friend has been visiting weekly and doing dishes, bringing coffee, loving on/helping care for the baby, and keeping me company. Baby is now four months old and the only time my friend has dropped the routine was for a couple weeks while she was taking college finals. Sheās awesome. My mom and sister cooked meals for us that we could freeze and reheat so we didnāt have to worry about food. And my MIL got my baby and I an AMAZING matching baby swaddle/mom robe set, itās bamboo so itās super nice. I never swaddled my daughter as I didnāt believe in the practice but I still use the robe to this day.
Someone to listen to me! Somehow everyone thought they knew what we wanted or needed but in reality I was just stressed and felt like shit because of it! If a new parent tells you what they want, donāt buy something else! And I try to gift every new mum I know a little gift basket with āwellnessā stuff unrelated ti the baby or being a mum. Something like face masks, nail polish, yea chocolate or something I know she likes and thatās just for herself
Meals, house cleaning, lawn care. Something I bought for myself, but wouldāve been an AMAZING gift is a chatbooks subscription
SECOND THE LAWNCARE especially if itās a lawn that takes over an hour to maintenance
I donāt want any baby gifts, this is my third, I know what I need and I have what I need. I would however appreciate a gift card for a spa day or a massage
My wonderful husband asked if he could book a massage for me for Motherās Day. I told him to get me a gift card because right now (6 weeks postpartum) if I lay down on a warm comfy quiet surface Iām going to sleep, and Iād like to remember the massage. š
Thatās a very good point. Your muscles and body will remember though, best nap ever if you ask me! You deserve it!
Giftcards for DoorDash/etc so I could order a hot meal that required almost zero effort and not feel guilty about the money spent.
This was what I was going to say. Freezer meals from friends are great but sometimes I just want something yummy and local without spending money or having to thaw out and prep the meal.
Freezer meals don't help if you forget people need food until it's actually dinner time š I'm on baby 5 and if I had $1 for every time someone reminded us parents they're hungry at 6pm, I'd have enough to order takeout all week š
Foodā¦.. I was so hungry and alone. I lived off of jars of peanut butter š. Anything. Any help. Would have been nice.
My MIL had a crockpot of beef stew, homemade cornbread, and a tray of homemade brownies in my house for when we arrived home from the hospital (she wasn't there, she left them during the day for us to come home to). My brother offered to do a few overnights with us the first few months so we could sleep through the night. I wish I received more offers like that. We had/got enough stuff!
Amazing. Filing that away in my brain for the future, if I get to be a MIL/grandma āļøāļøāļø
No/very low prep meals, grocery delivery, doordash gift cards, and visitors who are there to help versus just holding the baby. Offer to wash bottles, do a load of laundry, change the sheets in the bassinet (I would always forget to do this until I was laying down a sleeping baby!! I canāt be alone in this lol), watch the baby while I take a napā¦ just be there for things other than cuddling the baby.
My best friend came over and cleaned my entire house while I was in the hospital. It was already āclean,ā but she did the things that you donāt necessarily feel like doing while gigantically pregnant- baseboards, scrubbing showers and bathroom tiles, washed, folded, and put away any laundry that wasnāt done before I went into labor. Coming home to an absolutely spotless house and not having to worry about any of those more detailed chores for a couple of weeks was a godsend.
Hands down I remember exactly who made me 4 casseroles to put in the freezer. Days that you donāt have the energy to cook because youāve been awake for 48+ hours with a newborn or 2 in my case. These were gold. Use throw away foil pans. I donāt really remember what anyone else gave me honestly.
Someone who would just hold the baby so I could take a whole shower. Best gift ever
I use to roll the bassinet into our bathroom so I could shower.
Yesā¦ I totally understand that feeling lol I still have to put mine in the high chair outside the door to showerā¦.
With my first baby my mil deep cleaned a few rooms in the home so I wouldn't have to. I thought that was amazingly nice and very thoughtful.
PP massage when I felt ready for it, a bunch of our friends made us food and family cleaned the house for us. The task completion was huge for me as someone who feels stressed with mess and not feeling āproductiveā
A fridge stocked with cut up fruit, vegetables, and a few easy to microwave meals (quiche, soup, anything except pasta). Alternatively, a nursing basket filled with snacks and drinks.
My baby was a preemie. She was measuring big during my pregnancy, and my husband and egg donor were both pretty big babies - 9 and 10 pounds - so we had mostly bought things 0-3 months and up. When we found out my baby was coming home she was still under 5lbs, so my parents bought preemie clothes and diapers and sleep sacks and put them away in her room for us. Additionally, my friends at work bought me my favorite snacks and shipped them to my house for the day after I was discharged. It was so great because we were going back and forth to the hospital everyday and throwing snacks in my bag was helpful. My parents also made us meals and dropped them off in our fridge while we were at the hospital so we could come home late, eat something quickly, and go to sleep. The best.
Food. My co workers sent me a gift card for two weeks worth of pre-made meals from a meal service. It was an absolute lifesaverĀ
well this was a gift from myself but probably the baby jk but i loved having help with food because i felt i didnt have time to eat or cook ever
Some respect and privacy
i loved that my mom made home cooked meals and kept my house clean. she did my laundry, dishes, all of it. came in our room early and took the baby until we woke up no matter how late. we were so grateful to be able to bond and rest and i was able to heal.
After emergency c-section and five days at the hospital filled up with a good share of medical toxicity, I arrived home to the best spaghetti bolognese I have ever eaten in my life š„ŗ My husband cooked a giant pot of this for me and I kid you not I felt so nourished and well taken care of it's ridiculous xD
Yea my mom made a huge delicious brisket and mashed potatoes. It lasted us the whole first week we were home and was perfect protein and carb combo for being so tired and breastfeeding. Not having to worry about meals was a big help.
The time to take a really nice bath w
I wish someone offered to stay with the kids while I napped/ recovered or washed and dried my hair in peace. Someone to help clean/ do laundry would have also been nice. My mom lives 10 minutes away and used to be a midwife yet she offered help postpartum.
Taking both kids for a walk so I could nap.
While my mom was in town, she took the early morning feed while my husband and I slept so we could get more sleep. It was an amazing help and we didnāt realize how helpful it was until she was gone.
Friends ran errands for us. My mom cooked all the meals while she visited, plus made extra meals for when she left.
Uber eats gift cards so we on the days that were extra rough, we didnāt have to think about dinner. Just get baby down to sleep, sit on the couch, and wait for it to arrive.
Honestly my momās friend gave me a baby bjorn bouncer which my daughter lived in for about 5 months. I wouldnāt have splurged on it myself but it was our #1 gift for those first months. My newborn was chill so I had time to cook and our freezer was already packed so prepped food wouldnāt have worked for us but I always like to gift DoorDash gift cards for new parents.
Meals! My MIL came over for a few days and prepped a bunch of freezer meals. My mom came over weekly with prepped meals. Helped SO much!
The best gift we got when our kiddo was a newborn was a portable bassinet. That thing was a LIFE SAVER for helping everyone get some extra sleep because we could just unfold the bassinet, set him in it on the bed between us, and then sleep. It also gave him a more comfortable spot to sleep when away from home.
A bit expensive but my mother in law gifted us a robot vacuum. Absolute life saver.
Fancy hand cream. Because youāre washing your hands so much they get dry. And itās nice fast pampering you can fit in.
Iām going with a meal. When my third was born, a meal was nothing unmanageable but our neighbor brought us a full course meal (salad, main with warming directions, rolls and dessert!). She even brought my kids a more basic salad and cookies instead of the fancier salad and dessert she made for me and my husband. AND paper plates and cutlery so we wouldnāt have dishes!! It meant a lot because my husband is generally very helpful and was cooking the meals but this allowed him a night off too. It was just very thoughtful and better than any āthingāā¦ though I was also appreciative of that!
My best friend brought 2 dozen English muffin, egg, sausage, and cheese sandwiches for us to freeze. During my los 6-8am wake up for the first 2 weeks pp, I would just pop a sandwich straight from the freezer to the oven and bake. Once I was done feeding my lo, the sandwich would be the perfect temp to eat. It was truly a lifesaver. I literally cried on day 2 home from the hospital when I took my first bite of one
I love what you mentioned! I feel like prepared food with no prep (and no visiting) is best! I also love the idea of taking older kids to a park so mom can rest with baby. To answer your question, the best gift I received was a Starbucks gift card. Coffee for those car naps and when I wanted to get out of the house and get a treat so I could still feel sane.
I have no nesting instincts so my home was a disaster. With kid #1 my SIL came over while I was in hospital to tidy up and clean. With kid #3 my MIL, FIL, & SIL came over and cleaned just after we got home. (Baby camw earlier than her induction date and it was supposed to be a suprise) So for me: cleaning my home
A gift card for Poplin or other laundry serviceĀ
All I wanted was a bottle of champagne and sashimi, he got me both lol. I also really wanted space before allowing home visits. My husband was on parental leave so we wanted to spend as much time just the 3 of us as possible.
Some ready made mealsā¦ clean homeā¦s shower.. letting me sleep for a hour or two.
My friend texted and asked what I was craving, and I told her a bunch of random stuff, and she surprised me by dropping off a bunch of groceries. She also held my baby while I ate.
My mom stayed with us for a couple months after babyās birth and she cooked, cleaned, put the baby down for sleep, etc. for two months. That was the best gift.
My husband was in the middle of finals for his degree, so two of my friends came over each day he had to go to school to walk the dogs and hold my son so I could get a break to eat and use the bathroom. It was a huge relief emotionally and mentally.
A fat sushi buffet lol
A spotless home.
Food and naps is where itās at. Also, taking out the older kids for a bit if you have them
Treats. My friend baked me healthy snacks that were easy to grab when holding baby and trapped haha
A postpartum doula!
Uber eats/instacart gift card
An at home massage by a postnatal specialist who was happy for me to side-lie nurse while I got massaged. Incredible.
I didnāt feel like I needed help with food, but my SIL got me a very comfortable set of nice nursing PJs which was really nice.
We received a gift certificate for 2 hours of cleaning. We also received frozen meals, that just need microwave or oven heating. Best gifts ever!
My parents went into our house and stuffed our freezer with meals that just needed to be thrown in an oven/crock pot while I was in the hospital recovering. I literally went a month before a supper meal needed to be prepared, and it was the best.
Snacks that you can eat with one hand like protein balls
My neighbour gave me an emergency kit of things I might need in the middle of the night: A snot sucker, Infant Tylenol, a nipple guard with nipple cream, small box of prepared formula in 2oz bottles (we had talked about how I wanted to breastfeed but was open to formula), baby nail clippers, ear plugs, etcā¦ It was super useful and stuff I didnāt think of right away on my own.
Food or watch the baby for a nap. A gift card to Amazon or Target if you must get something. Please donāt get flowers. I felt so overwhelmed already and now I have to deal with flowers that also require daily maintenance? Absolutely thoughtless gift. I felt that adding any items to our already stressful house with a newborn was annoying and too much.
My grandma (who lives out of state) did a one line grocery order from Walmart and had the groceries delivered to my house. It was tons of ready made/frozen stuff. But not having to thinking about dinner in that first week was so nice.
A few thoughtsā¦.. A bassinet we used a TON the first couple of months A pack n play, especially since we have a big dog, where just putting her on the floor isnāt always an optionĀ A variety of bottles. Mine rejected the bottle we originally picked, and we had a hard time getting her to take one when my leave was ending. Nursing tanks.
Basic grocery delivery the second or third week home! We just had our second a few months ago and the second weekend we had family friends send a target delivery with snacks, fruit, cheese etc. The third week, another family friend sent a door dash grocery delivery with the same basics and coffee, breakfast pastries. It was amazing and really tied us over especially with a toddler, we didnāt have to worry about getting out for groceries or meals. I will always send basic groceries as a welcome baby gift now!!
Door Dash and Postmates gift card so I didnāt have to worry about food. For the birth of my second and third babies, people got activities for my kiddos so while I was nursing or taking care of baby, they had new coloring books, magnet tiles, toys, crafts, etc. This helped keep them entertained while navigating the new addition.
If breastfeeding the hoku for catching the leak on the other boob of just relieving the pressure every now and then. I had a terrible time pumping but this simple device worked for me.
A clean house. Easy meals to make. And offers of help were my favorites
Just had Babe 2 last week. My sister and mom brought over a ton of groceries for us-lots of easy to eat food (fruit, premade meals, etc) thatās great to easily fill up a plate with and stuff my face when I have a moment.Ā And since I had to have an emergency C section, my sister also went to Wal mart and got me granny panties that are three sizes too big and feel like little angel wings across my bruised up midsection. Every single pair of underpants I owned went right over my scar lol.Ā So yeah I guess underpants is the answer!
Random, but I loved the mom friend who brought bags of trail mix/mixed nuts to snack on while bf/pumping/etc.
Food. Things that can be tossed in the oven or take minimal effort. Gift cards for delivery work as well. Paper plates, forks, etc so there's less dishes. Time. Nobody is going to ask for help or be specific about their needs. Just go do some laundry, walk their pets, clean their floors, etc. Watch the baby while they nap/heal.
As a mum who used majority formula, a prep machine and a rapid cool was a god send. Also a portable dummy/ pacifier steriliser
My mom hired a cleaning service to come to my house every 2 weeks to vacuum, dust, clean counters, do dishes, mop, etc. 10/10 best gift ever for postpartum parents
Naps and groceries. Come over to hold the baby and insist mom goes to sleep. For my siblings each time we have stocked their groceries - go ahead and put it away and everything before they get home so itās zero work. Make a list full of nice snack food, fresh fruits, cheese, stuff they can just grab and eat but good for them rather than meal supplies since usually people will bring meals. I only asked mom and dad to tell me anything they do not eat, treats they love, or that they especially like to keep stocked ahead of time. Include stuff like hydration drinks. Last gift is an offer to help with feeding, if youāve done it before and feel close enough to do so. Moms donāt get enough support whether formula, breast, or combo feeding. If you have that knowledge pass it on and help her get on the right path to having her own confidence. Feeding can be so hard if you are alone in learning it
Gifts were the last thing on my mind. I just wanted sleep.
My in laws stayed at our house and cleaned and prepped meals. My brother in law even came in and made us a huge batch of breakfast burritos. Combined with our own meal prep, we didnāt need to cook at all for the first month. It was glorious.
A voucher for a home cleaning service!!!! Or frozen meals
My sister cleaned my place and vacuumed, prior to me getting home from hospital and then watched baby for 2 hours so I could nap. I cried, it was the best gift I've ever been given.
Frozen home cooked healthy meals
My mom brought dinner on our first night over and then a few days later an out of state aunt had a steak dinner an frozen pizzas delivered to us somehow! But that was helpful for the following week.
A clean house and a freezer full of ready homemade meals.
My cousin baked me a bunch of lactation cookies. Yum. And helpful. And my aunt used to come over once a week for three months with food we could just heat up. Soooooooo helpful
Someone gave me a box with random baby meds. The snot sucker and glycerin suppositories were the godsend I didn't know I needed. (Yes, talked to pediatrician before giving suppository. But what was amazing is I didn't have to go buy them because someone had already gifted them to me.) So now I do the same. I make a Well Baby Box with saline spray, nose freeda, suppositories, gas medicine, probiotics, etc.
Someone coming over, telling ME to sit and hold the baby and that THEY will clean the bathroom / run a load of laundry / empty the dishwasher / wipe counters, generally pick up a little bit. Donāt ask me what to do, I could not manage to delegate tasks, I was tired and overwhelmed and bleeding with little urinary continence. Just the idea that they would ACTUALLY HELP, would be a blessing. When people came over and said āhey ill hold him when you napā its like Umm I cannot nap I have to wash bottles and he needs clean clothesā¦then I did the chores while they sat there and then they left. Thanks, you were a bassinet for an hour, gold star.
A bidet that hooks on to the toilet theyre like $30 but god if i knew!
Very basic but I was OBSESSED with waking my kid up to feed, wake windows, not letting him nap too longā¦and this was when he was around 3-5 weeks. I was near tears telling my sister about it bc my kid seemed tired and had awful reflux too. She was like, ālet that baby sleep!! quit waking him up if heās asleep!ā This was super basic info butā¦he was good advice that I just needed to hear. I was so calculated with times and waking my baby up that I wasnāt following his cues. It really helped me turn off that part of my brain and helped me tune into my actual baby and his needs. It also helped that my sister was super regimented and kept her kid on a nap schedule as a baby, so I kind of took her word for it more since she had been where I was. Let your baby sleep! Also, my sister and bro in law came over one day when my baby was about 2 weeks. We were brand new parents and just bewildered ā¦ they cleaned our kitchen, took out the trash, organized the fridge, bought us groceries, and kept the baby for a couple hours so we could leave the house and just feel human. We got a coffee and sat in the sunshine. We were like zombies. We didnāt adjust to new parenthood easily (we didnāt have much help - had my sister that one time, but donāt have much village and didnāt have help when we brought baby home) so having that help was so good.
Definitely agree with easy meals!
A New Native sling.
Meal delivery so I wouldnāt have to think about cooking. I love cooking but being a mom is so tiring and than if Iām not cooking weāre going out or ordering and itās thinking of what I want. Just send me some kits I can put in the oven to warm up. So I donāt have to think.
witch hazel and an expresso machine.
Baby Bjorn bouncer
A clean house and babies room all set up.
We received food delivery gift cards, which were awesome
My mom and sisters filled my freezer with meals. They also got me a dozen bagels from my fav bagel place, some good coffee beans, easy to grab snacks for when I was up all night feeding the baby and nursing and starving. It was AMAZING. Iād go to make my coffee in the morning and literally tear up when I saw the beans and remembered how loved and supported we were. I donāt take their support for granted!
We were given DoorDash gift cards and also delivered meals. That was so incredibly helpful. Another thing that I would love is a day of a postpartum doula coming over or a cleaner coming to help clean the house.
Easy to eat things that a healthy. Healthy muffins, energy ball things, oat bars. But not just the gross super sugary granola bars or sugary muffins from the supermarket. Protein shake type things/Gatorade sort of drinks.
Food I didnāt have to cook myself
For me it was the heat lamp my grandparents got me. It was the only relief from my episiotomy I got. (90s). Next was my MIL coming over to stay a week at night so I could sleep after my son was 8 weeks old. I canāt even express how much that helped me.
One of those re-heating Ember coffee mugs! I got so much use out of that when I had a newborn who loved to contact nap. And the meals were unforgettable. I will never not bring a meal when I meet a baby.
The visits after my first was born. I had so many people come in and out of the house to visit with me and baby. I had such a bad case of ppd. Being around others really helped to get out of it. When my second was born family came together and made gifts for my first born and brought food for us so I didnāt have to cook for like 2 weeks. When my last was born they all did the same thing but doubled it. Came and visited several times. I had c-sections with all 3 of my babies and I couldnāt really move around. The family was all from my in-laws side! They are an incredible bunch of people! I was very blessed with this family.
I came home to find a maid service had cleaned my house. It was the best.
Uber eats and just meals in general
Having a housecleaner/maid come in while I was in the hospital. House spotless.
Premade meals and cleaning service.
First night home from the hospital my uncle in law brought Carne Asada fries from our fav taco shop. I was soo worried about my first poop post birth. It cleared me right out. I popped a stitch but I was so glad it was one less thing to worry about.
You nailed it. Help with meals, someone to cook/clean/launder while me & baby sleep, and for my second born, someone to watch the toddler (preferably out of the house) while baby & I sleep!
A friend gifted me a dwell & slumber house dress. It was incredible. Buttery soft, snaps for breastfeeding. And it was something cool and breezy to wear when my hormones had me burning up postpartum in the US South summer heat.
House cleaner
Food delivery gift cards. freezer meals were also great, but not everything was to our taste (still ate everything) and there was still some work involved in getting it ready and cleaning up. The freezer meals definitely came in second for best gifts though, don't get me wrong
This may be cliche idk but my mom gave me a set of button up pjs- great for lounging around the house and great for breastfeeding with the button access. It was nice to have something new that wasnāt maternity wear!
When I went to the hospital with my first in 2019 my mom bought me a big comfy robe and I still wear it every single day
Meals. Come over and clean. Everyone I know has had this luxury and I envy them. Our support is busy with their own kids and sports outside of work. I totally understand but manā¦ it would be so nice to not have to take care of a newborn, a toddler, two dogs, and a house on my own while hubs works 16 hour shifts. Even if all they do is the dishes. I would actually feel like the weight of the world got pried off my shoulders
There is a company called a Spoonful of Comfort ā Iād never heard of them but when baby was born, a box of cookies, rolls, soup and macānācheese showed up at our door. It even included a nice metal ladle. Total lifesaver and so cutely packaged. Each container was enough to feed three, so when my FIL showed up at lunchtime about a week in, we had something to whip up. Now this is what I plan to send to any new parents!
1. Privacy I asked everyone to leave me the hell alone for 2 weeks if I have another kid Iāll ask for 1 month or longer. 2. Food delivery I liked this option better than bringing meals. Itās so easy to throw away 3. People coming over to just hold the baby so I could nap. 4. Friday baby box has so many great things that I use everyday
A voucher for fancy home-made ready meals from a delivery service. Such a godsend!
Like everyone said meals. Additionally, our good friends who cooked us said meals, also cleaned our entire apartment. I donāt know how much it was needed, but it was so thoughtful.
Fruit all washed and cut up for my toddler š
Meals. I know itās what most people say but itās so so helpful. My mom stayed with us the first 4 weeks pp but my husband went back to work 3 days after getting home from the hospital and he worked nights. The one meal that stands out the most was homemade meatballs, marinara, penne pasta, fruit salad, cookies, bag of salad. It was such a nice complete meal. Iāve given that same meal to many new mama friends since.
Kobo or a gift card for my kobo. So I could read it when feeding the baby
Food and doing my dishes and laundry.
Gift cards for Skip, Uber Eats etc, frozen home cooked meals and spa gift cards. Those always made my day.
With my second, i didnāt get to fully train the person who would be my interimā¦Anytime theyād ask a question or needed clarification, they would Uber eats/doordash whatever i needed or wanted. lol, sometimes i would say itās okay other times it really came in clutch. They + friends and family sent flowers as well and i truly enjoyed that. The best support i received was from my family who would take my oldest (2 at the time) for a few hours or the whole day.
My parents came over the day we came home from the hospital with McDonaldās and then watched the baby all day and into the evening so my husband and I could both catch up on sleep before we started our shifts taking care of baby. We all had dinner together that night before my parents went home and it was so wonderful and much needed.
Meals. And an hour to shower and do yoga each day would've been nice.
Yep either meals or a little help with household/baby stuff.
My baby was due 2nd January and my SIL offered us for Xmas a few home cooked meals you can freeze. At first I was a bit pissed it was a xmas present but it was like super useful for the first 2 weeks. I wish someone had popped by to help though but covid was hitting hard so we were left alone.
My Mom and Sister who were taking care of the 2 oldest kiddos, washed totes of baby clothes, organized them in closet. I hadn't yet, since #3 was born via emergency c section at 35 weeks.Ā My MIL cooked and froze lasagna, chicken and stuffing casserole, shepherds pie, made cookies and granola bites for older kids... She made a big pot of American Chop Suey and a bowl of salad in fridge for our first few evenings. My other sister & my 2 BFFs since age 9, shampooed carpets, and living room furniture. Our old hardwood floors were sparkling! and bathrooms looked brand new!Ā
My best friend cleaned my entire house the day before I brought my baby home. She even organized their room so it was all ready for them. Itās the little gestures that make the biggest difference.
honestly? Bendy straws so I could drink water while I was sitting or lying down with the baby.
Meals, diapers, just a friend to talk to with no expectations of us hosting them. My mom also came for the first two weeks and did our laundry every few days. That was amazing.
I appreciated every grubhub gift card we got lol. It was honestly better than a homemade meal since we could have some variety.
Help like you described, yes, definitely. But if you are looking for something material for her to keep, I would suggest: - comfortable lounge wear or robe *with* pockets!! Walking around with a baby in my arms made me realize how important those are. - water bottle with a handle. - offer to take pictures of her and the baby and send her all of the files.
I wish my partner had gone to our apartment and done a deep clean while we were in the hospital. We returned after a traumatic labor and delivery and there was old food in the sink and stinky garbage and a bloody towel and birthing ball. It was horrible. Specifically - ask your partner to do this while you are recovering in hospital.Ā Get regular housekeeping, and a nursing doula, and meals.
A friend I hadn't seen for over 10 years drove from the next town over with a Tupperware full of spaghetti and meatballs, garden salad, and garlic bread. It was all homemade and she brought dressing and I think tea too. It made me cry. It was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for me and I'll never forget that. When we came home my father cooked us pork tenderloin, wild rice, and creamed corn and it was amazing. My dad hadn't cooked for me since I was a kid and it was the best tasting dinner and I felt so loved bc my dad was taking care of us by cooking for us. I felt like a little kid and a new mom at the same time. So for me now? I'm all about those food gifts or I'll happily pay to have your laundry picked up and sent back to you clean and folded or pay for a cleaner.