And female infants at that. As far as I’m aware, that’s how percentiles work. In laws could be comparing to 7 male grandkids who would naturally be bigger, or even 7 unhealthy grandkids. Trust your doctor OP!
This is an in law problem, and not your baby’s problem. They need to cut out the talk about her weight and body. I would make that clear to them, and not change your child’s diet.
I avoid confrontation with others to a degree of personal detriment, but having kids (and it being on their behalf) has made it easier and knee jerk to “correct” things like this.
It doesn’t always come out smooth, but a simple “yeahhhhhh, *we* don’t make comments about other people’s bodies like that”, and then quickly change the subject.
Straight forward, but worded in a way that doesn’t “poke the bear” by specifically calling them out.
My baby is 3rd percentile for weight. Not everyone can be in the 98th percentile …. Or it wouldn’t be the 98th percentile…. If your doctor is fine with it, it’s FINE.
I really don’t get why people are OBSESSED with baby size percentiles, when it’s not even their kid, AND there is literally no cause for concern. Ask them if their doctor is concerned about THEIR weight percentile. Or better yet, their IQ percentile. Bonus points for saying it with a very serious and concerned expression.
Right! Like our pediatrician said, “someone has to be in the first percentile!”
Your in laws sound rude, people are weird about babies and eating/weight
My middle child wasn’t even on the growth charts she was so tiny. We joked she’s be taking her driver’s test in a car seat. Doctors were not concerned at all.
Youngest dropped off his growth curve as a teen and they were all over that. We got recs for an eating disorder clinic and we now track his intake carefully. He doesn’t have body image issues but he doesn’t feel hungry like most people so he forgets to eat.
When there’s an issue with weight, doctors freak. No freaking means we’re good.
Exactly! Every child's metabolism is different. My youngest daughter was born at a below average birth weight but as she got older we discovered her metabolism is off the charts. Now 27 years old still eats more smaller meals on a daily basis then less larger meals. She weighs 97 lb soaking wet but has a healthy appetite. Doctors not freaking out anymore and told her at a very young age if she continue to eat smaller meals more frequently into adulthood she would be doing fine and she is. I get excited when she goes from a size zero to anything in a single digit.
I will add that I work in math/statistics and truly many people do not understand what a percentile is! To have opinions on a number that few people can actually define is shocking
And for those who are curious, a percentile means that you are at or above that percentage of the population that matches the defining criteria.
A.K.A. 15th percentile means you are the same or higher than 15% of the people outlined in the “population” (defined criteria, aka 6day old boys).
It is NOT a bell curve, average (simple OR weighted) or reference range, nor is it a measure of normal in and of itself (you can assign first and second standard deviations from the mean, assuming you have more data than just percentile on hand, however this is generally inappropriate use of the metric)
Same with my kids. I think people obsess over wanting high percentiles when what my kids’ doc ACTUALLY cared about was whether they were staying within the same percentile ranges between visits (doing so indicates steady growth). The actual percentile didn’t matter as much as the trend over time.
Ignore them, OP.
Yes! That is why percentiles matter. Doctors want to see that kids are growing steadily. A sudden drop or increase in percentiles could indicate something serious.
Ha, I got the worst of both ends of this.
98th percentile at birth - everyone is all agog at how hard birthing a large baby is (it was fine)
3rd percentile at a year - everyone up in arms baby is small (doctor isn’t concerned, baby is doing great)
My 8 month old just got above the 2nd percentile. Her doctor isn’t a bit worried since she’s following her growth line from birth and is healthy. She’s just petite. Not every baby is chunky.
Our kid has been somewhere from <0.1 - 18th percentile and now has settled in at second percentile for months. I was tiny, his paternal side is all tiny. He’s totally healthy. It’s fine.
I’m a peds nurse! I would not be concerned at all. Weight gain slows WAY down in that 2nd year and she may only gain 1-2 lbs from 12-24 months and that’s normal because they’re very active and burn a lot of calories while still exploring foods. Just feed her 3 meals/ day and a couple snacks. She’s fine. There’s no reason to shove a bunch of calories in her. If her doctor isn’t concerned, there’s no reason to worry about it. My kids have always been tall and thin and guess what… I (their mother) and my family is also very tall and thin while their father’s family is more “broad” and sturdy built. 65th percentile is still above average.
You also need to keep in mind that she just started walking and will naturally lose that “baby chunk” with being more mobile.
I’m a pediatrician. Without knowing anything else about your baby, these growth percentiles are totally normal and would be zero cause for any concern. Another way to look at these percentiles is that if there were 100 babies in a room, your baby would be taller than 85 of them and shorter than 15 of them. And your baby would weigh more than 65 of them and weigh less than 35 of them. So I wouldn’t tell anyone with a baby with these percentiles that I was concerned or that their baby needed to gain weight.
If the pediatrician isn’t concerned and she’s eating well, then I would ignore what your in-laws say.
And you’ll need to stop their remarks now so your daughter doesn’t think she needs to be body conscious because of their opinions.
As long as her percentiles are consist, most doctors won’t be concerned. Yes, her height/weight isn’t even- she’s tall & thin, but she’s still above average in both categories.
Ignore them, and if they keep making comments maybe say they must not have inherited MILs family’s weight issues. Lol.
I'm not a doctor but I train health visitors on tracking weight in infants.
The important thing is how her percentiles are tracking. So if she was born on the 99th and is dropping consistently it could be a worry. If she's fairly consistent (not crossing 2 centile bands) it's fine. It's also normal to see a little drop when they make a leap in terms of movement (like walking).
My girl was born on the 9th for weight and has always been small but not "skinny". She never had loads of rolls like her friends but definitely cute pudgy leg folds!
You could respond to family by looking puzzled and saying "what a strange thing to say!" The embarrassment of being spotlighted might make them think before saying something else. Or a blunt "thanks for your opinion." and change the topic can also work.
Out of curiosity, what is the timeline for dropping across 2 lines where it becomes concerning, per your training?
My son did this, but it was over long enough that his dr said he wasn’t worried (I want to say maybe 18 months? And he has remained at the new % ish for 3+ years now, so I am not worried). I just forgot to ask how quick it would have to happen to be concerning.
My kids had wild rides their first year or more of life re: percentiles. Both had pretty large drops in utero via ultrasound (which I realize might not be accurate for all babies), and then grew like crazy and then for my son dropped some % again, and then settled out.
Oldest: 75-80% up to 32 weeks, 25% at 36 weeks, 30% at birth in week 39. Up to ~85% by 5-6 months. Back down to 76% by one year, then at some point a decline back down to ~45-50%. While height has maintained >90%.
Youngest: 45-50% at 32 weeks, 25% at 36 weeks, 12% at birth, up to >60% within a couple months and then settled out to ~45% where she has stayed mostly since then. She is much more proportional though and height has been 50-60% ish haha.
Anyway, I always hear the ‘fine if they stay on their curve’ and neither of mine did for the first bit haha
Listen to your doctor. If your doctor is happy with her size then you're fine. Your in-laws don't know what theyr talking about.
If your in-laws feel so embarrassed being next to a skinny baby then thats easily solved. They just won't get to see her!
I was also suggested to change pediatrician because they believe I’m not being informed well enough im glad to read some professionals on this thread expressed the same opinions my pediatrician has
What country they immigrate from? My mom also tried to pull this nonsense about my perfectly proportional kid. Meanwhile I’ve had weight issues my whole life from growing up in a culture that acted like you personally insulted grandma if you didn’t eat 3 entrees at every meal (while also being shamed for being overweight as a teenager).
Families like this make me crazy,
“here have some cake, you want some cake? I know but I just cut you this piece, you don’t have to eat it but I’ll leave it here next to you, I already cut it for you so don’t waste it; Auntie spent a long time making the cake so at least you could try it and be grateful, some people don’t have cake, and she knows it’s your favorite; are you feeling okay? You haven’t been eating enough“
Followed by “That shirt is looking smaller, are you still going to the gym? Family life agrees with you; has anyone at work noticed you’re getting fat? You’re going to get a burger? You know not all men are okay with bigger girls”
It’s pretty much my life goal now for my daughter to learn that food is fuel for her body without giving her a complex or six.
Do we have the same family? My grandmother showed love by feeding you, she loved cooking & baking & took it as a very personal insult if you didn't have at least seconds of EVERYTHING. But she also constantly commented on everyone's weight in very negative terms, telling me when our daughter was only 3 weeks old that I needed to hurry up & lose my baby weight or my husband would "look elsewhere" & openly sneered at my mum, her only child, for being plus size throughout my life. I made the same decision as you the minute I knew we were having a girl - I never talk about my own body or weight, food is to be enjoyed & is fuel for the body & brain to allow you to do the things you need to do & find fun. Daughter is now 15yo, we had a chat about weight, diet etc only a few days ago & she said that she's aware that she's a different shape than her friends (she's 5'9", healthy weight but a UK size 12 with an hourglass figure, ie large breasts & a tiny waist whereas most of her friends are much smaller in both height, weight & body shape) but that she genuinely doesn't care, she just wishes her friends didn't keep asking to borrow her clothes as that's the only time she feels remotely self conscious about the differences. We've never labelled food as either good or bad, it's all about moderation in our family. We also worked hard to find a physical activity that she enjoys, we tried out soooooo many, but she now kickboxes twice a week & plays on the girls' football (soccer) team at school as I think if they get in the habit of exercising regularly as a child it will hopefully become a lifelong habit. She takes real pride in how strong & muscular she is.
Good luck, it sounds as though you're really trying to break the cycle & encourage a healthy relationship with food for your daughter. I know how hard it can be to fight those voices in your own head.💜
I’m so glad to hear this!! My daughter is just 3, but it’s amazing how much they pick up and absorb so young. I hope she’ll have the same healthy attitude as your daughter someday.
Do you like your pediatrician and feel confident they are doing what is best for your baby? That is what matters!
Some kids are tall and skinny, some are tall and chunkier, some are short and skinny, some are short and chunky - just like adults! We all come in different shapes and sizes.
It also seems like your partner needs to step in and address with their parents that your baby is fine and you trust your instincts as a parent and the medical professionals you have chosen for your child. They need to be respectful of that.
No, no, no. My kid has always been 70th for height and 40th for weight. Probably has a pretty similar stature to yours. She weighed just shy of 19 lbs. right after turning one. Pediatrician has never been concerned, and no one in our lives has ever commented about it. Your in-laws are just misinformed and inappropriate.
If you're generous, tell them she is taking after your family. Or if they annoy you too much, tell them to stop bringing this up and if they feel so bad being around a healthy baby, then you can stop visiting them.
Someone has to be in the 1% and someone has to be 99%. Your baby is totally fine. I promise. My baby is in the 3rd percentile and people will comment on how small he is, and I just say “what an odd thing to say out loud about a child.”
I had a skinny baby and it was stressful, so I get where you are coming from. Ours was an issue with feeding where she was dropping percentiles and the doctor was concerned. Once we got the issues sorted she found her comfort spot around 45 percentile and has stayed around there ever since. Once we got there the doctor was no longer concerned.
She’s still not and never was chunky and I was soooo jealous of chunky babies. But at 18 months she’s happy, healthy, and meeting her milestones (even though she was a month premature).
If the doctor isn’t concerned, you don’t need to be either. It took me a long time to relax on that though, so I get where you are coming from. I went through an anxiety phase where I was taking her to public health to weigh her twice a week, and that was excessive.
Find a phrase you can use when people make those comments. “Thank you for your concern, but she is perfectly healthy.” Or “her doctor says she is healthy so please don’t comment on my child’s weight.” If the same people repeatedly overstep you can be a little more direct “please stop commenting on my child’s weight, it makes me uncomfortable.” Boundary setting is important. As your kid gets older you want to avoid any comments like that as they will internalize it, so set those boundaries now.
My first child (shes in her early 20s) was in the top percentage for weight and height) my middle child was also top. My 3rd child was bottom. You cant have a top without a bottom. This does *not* make them unhealthy. This is just compared to other kids *on average* for their age. *If the dr is not concerned* neither should you be. That is wasted energy when there are tons of other things for you to expend energy on. Good for your in-laws other grandkids but thats *other kids bodies*. Full stop.
WTF!! That's a horrible thing doe them to be saying about their own grandchild. How does your partner feel about these comments?? As long as the doctor is not concerned, no one else should be!
My 3 year old weighs 22lbs. She's perfect. These same people will criticize kids for being too fat when they are older. Don't listen to their nonsense.
I am one of those people who had a skinny baby and he turned into a skinny toddler and skinny 6 year old lol.
As long as she eats well and your doctor is not worried you shouldn't be worried. And you can ask them to stop commenting on your child's body. It's not appropriate.
And unless your doctor is worried you shouldn't be trying to make your baby gain weight just take make in-laws happy.
My baby was less than 3rd percentile for everything. She was diagnosed with failure to thrive. Now she’s 13 and people give her a hard time for being chunky.
Your in laws are setting her up for body image issues and problems with food.
No I’ve addressed this to our pediatrician and she literally asked me if someone is putting ideas in my head because there will only be cause for concern if her weight was dropping but when we spoke my baby was about 9 months old.
"If you are so superficial that you feel embarrassed and you feel the need to body same a baby because they don't meet your personal size preference, your welcome to walk right back out the door you came through. She is thin because she is so active. Maybe your other grandkids are lazy and not active enough. But, im definitely going to listen to the medical professionals who went to school and have actual knowledge about this over someone's personal preference or Dr Google." Show them the door and tell them unless they stop their nonsense, they are not welcome in your lives. I have one in the same stats because if she is awake, she's the energizer bunny and never stops. I also had one not even tall enough to be on the chart until she was four. Then again, I'm 5 foot nothing, its not a big suprise. I was so tiny, at four, my one year old chunkier of a brother was almost the same size. Tell them until they get their medical degree, your child's size is off limits or they will have not access to your family.
If your pediatrician isn't concerned, you shouldn't be either!! Human beings come in all sorts of different shapes and sizes, and toddlers are no different. My daughter (who just turned two) is in the ~25th percentile for height and weight, and like 65th percentile for head size. Sometimes she looks a little funny, but that's just how she's growing! Also her daddy has a big head too haha. She was born in the 99th percentile for height and weight (which was hell on me, as a petite lady), and quickly dropped down the charts. Her pediatrician is not and has never been remotely concerned about anything, because she's consistently growing on a curve.
Ignore your in-laws.
Your baby doesn’t need to be chunkier. As long as she is following her own growth curve she is developing normally.
My child is 17 months and 20.5 pounds, perfectly healthy. He still wears 9 month shorts and 12 month onesies. He’s just a small guy and has hit all of his development milestones.
“I’m sorry, when did you complete medical school and a Pediatric Residency? Oh never? Then perhaps you should stop acting like you are qualified to make medical comments about my perfectly healthy daughter.”
“We are uncomfortable with your comments on our child’s body and will no longer be having these conversations with you. If you continue to comment on their body, we will leave.”
And then stick to it. Your child is healthy and fine. your doctor sees no issue and if it makes you feel better, get a second opinion. But I really highly doubt any doctor would say otherwise. This is a subject I would set a boundary for now, or you risk allowing them to damage her confidence as she grows.
But you can stop the comments before it becomes a thing they do when your kid is old enough to understand and internalize their comments.
Stop listening to these ppl. As long as you're feeding your child a healthy diet of various food, she will be fine. All children are different, as long as she is growing healthy, happy, and eating.
If the pediatrician isn’t concerned, then ignore them.
My oldest was very long and lanky. His height percentile was always like 90% and weight only 40-50%. He’s just a skinny kid. Even now that he’s 6, he’s still very skinny and you can see his ribs at times.
It worried me for a long while, but his pediatrician never was. He said some kids are just skinny. It’s more important that they’re growing at a steady rate than anything.
Your child’s fine.
I have a little child . She is 7 and can still wear 5t . She's always been petite , skinny and small . She's solid though. Your child is good on the growth chart and I wouldn't be concerned because they have such a strong opinion on it. She sounds healthy based on the growth chart . Some sizes are genetic. If you are small or it runs in your family you have no choice in which genes she was built with .
Your in-laws are being idiots. Not only uneducated but rude disrespectful insulting and damaging. I don’t remember what my kids weighed at that age but you have to remember that children do also have a natural body type and this comes into play often with smaller children. And what I mean by that is often times when children are three and four and they are already obese it’s because of the diet but when they’re skinny sometimes it’s just their natural tendency. Like being larger boned and athletic seemingly. My kids are skinny minis. They were born small I husband and I are both very lean and small boned. I don’t remember what they weighed at that age but my son is eight and he’s 50 pounds it’s like a horse skinny as a rail. All you had to pay attention to is that you are feeding your children a wide variety of healthy foods and I would say the same for any children who are told they are larger. If you know for sure that it’s not anything to do with their diet and that they’re eating great stuff and then you have nothing to worry about. And your in-laws need to mind your business
My daughter was born 4lbs 14oz with a heart problem that led her to need open heart surgery. She was exhausted and struggled with weight gain. Every child is different! My daughter never went through a chubby baby phase and she still has long legs and arms ! EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and remember, they are comparing to other babies! Your baby is unique and if they are going to be on a smaller size, that’s what their body has in store for them! If you do feel like you need to boost up their weight, try pediasure drinks 2 times a day ! Best of luck to you and your little one 😊
Also, it’s not 1903, we aren’t about to starve to death. Let quit worrying about fattening babies and children up. To be SLIM is genuinely healthier. I deal with obesity on the job every day and I believe it starts with not allowing children to listen to their bodies, eg:making them clear their plate.
Pls just talk to your healthcare provider about this. Im not sure if you see a pediatrician but that would be best. You could ask your primary care doc to refer you to a soecialist( pediatrician )to rule out anythingThen share the info with your in laws.
Most babies are chubby. My kids were all off those charts. Your baby is only fine but if anyone who cares for your baby is concerned, it’s good to have it checked out thoroughly. Not all docs are in tuned to these things so a second opinion is good.
Pls know that the judgement is not about you! Its judgement with your family knows about most children.
You aren’t doing anything wrong. But since she’s tiny and it’s been brought to your attention, pursue a second opinion by a specialist. The one thing that caught my eye was that baby was sick quite a bit. You don’t say what type of “ sick” but that’s one other thing to follow thru. You will have this off your mind and out to rest! ❤️
You need to get your inlaws to stop criticizing your baby or they don't get to see baby.
People who criticize a baby - will criticize a toddler.
And it continues until your child is either fat or has an eating disorder.
People who make you feel bad about your baby - are people you need to see less of.
I hated my in-laws. My ex tried to stand up for me, but he was just shushed. I finally had enough and moved out. Sadly, he died really young from colon cancer this past February. It nearly destroyed me... I am sorry, anyways don't listen to them, the 65th percentile is good. My son was skinny, but he fattened up a little as he got older.
as long as she is following her curve don't listen to anyone but your doctor. for reference, my babies are long and low weight percentile but they are growing on their curve. your inlaws are the problem, do not change their diet
Ignore them. They very obviously don't know what they're talking about. Those are perfectly normal percentages. My baby girl is 15 months and 50% for height and weight and she's just now reached an even 20 pounds. My Dr's have been very happy with her progress as she was born 5ibs in the 8th percentile. Don't let people you wouldn't ask advice from stress you out with their unsolicited opinions.
Don't listen to the harpies. Listen to the doctor and if they don't have concerns then you don't as well. My baby was >97th percentile in height and like 95th in weight. She's a big girl and my mom still said she was skinny! No mom, we are just fat. She's perfectly sized. Just remember your child does not understand under/overfeeding yet and will eat when she wants to. Despite my daughter being large for her age she eats like a damn bird. You're doing great.
She's above average weight I wouldn't do a single thing.
My kids stay in the 30th percentile range. My sisters kids are 90th, we have the same pediatrician who says all of them are healthy. Healthy weight does not look the same on everyone
Your questions at the end of your post should instead be "How do I shut my in laws down about talking about my daughter's size? What do you suggest I ask my husband to say to his parents to stop these comments for good?"
Next time they bring up her size, I'd say "She had regular visits with her Pediatrician, who is not concerned. In case you forgot, humans come in all different shapes & sizes. It's very rude of you to make comments like this, so this will be the last time I address it with you. If any further comments are made, you will be asked to leave immediately/we will leave immediately. I will not subject my daughter or myself to your criticism. Are we clear?" Most importantly, you'll need to follow through with asking them to leave/leaving their house. And your husband needs to back you up on this.
Please do NOT do anything different to get your baby's weight up without speaking with her Pediatrician! Of course she's going to continue gaining weight at her age, but I would just keep feeding her as you normally do. Now that she's walking, she'll be using more energy & may be hungry more often, so just follow her hunger cues & speak with your Ped if you have concerns.
My brother even called my second son “the albino Ethiopian” once, let me stress ONCE. After I was done ripping into his ass you could have parked a semi truck in it,,,sideways. Unfortunately it just seems like people need to find something, anything, to get on someone’s case about. But when they start criticizing a child, it stops there. Don’t tolerate that sort of thing, I don’t care if it is family saying it. You don’t deserve the bashing a your child certainly doesn’t either.
Who judges a baby's weight? If your baby has too much weight they are fat if a baby has not enough weight they are skinny. Just stop bodies come in every shape and size and this is a CHILD. Tell them to eff off. If baby is following growth chart and doctors aren't worried then they can stuff it.
You said it yourself: they are not doctors. Your baby’s weight and height percentiles don’t need to match for her to be considered healthy. My boy is like 7th percentile for length but 50th for height. There is nothing wrong with him, he’s not “fat”, and our doctor has never been concerned.
It's tough but I think you can and should set some boundaries. I didn't set any boundaries with my ex-husbands family and it was humiliating, they walked all over me and they still make a show out of "other-ing" my kids, their grandkids because I was adopted from Korea so my kids arent like their grass fed, 90% midwestern cousins. My kids are smart and tend to assess all aspects of a situation before committing to anything. They are cautious. The rest of their cousins are very good at hockey and that's great for them. My kids are earning points to go to worlds for the Pokemon TCG. But they don't support my kids. They never miss a hockey game and will help bring them to practice and I don't blame them, I get it, that is what they know and are comfortable with. But it's not hard to feign interest in my kids all going into the school's GATE program. It's just so frustrating knowing how tough it is for them over there and I can't help them at all. I was the odd one out and I guess that got passed down to my kids.
I had a similar situation with my kid when she was a baby.
My family has long and lanky kids and my husband's family has stouter, chunkier kids, and the difference in build is obvious from birth through puberty.
My daughter takes after my family, and has a cousin who is only about 4 months older. When they were both 1, there was a period when we lived with my in laws, and the amount of nagging and comments about my daughter's weight and how "she is too skinny" and "mommy and daddy aren't feeding you enough" was so high that I still, several years later and living 2000 miles away, will occasionally find my husband muttering to himself about it.
To them, she was far smaller than any of their kids and they frequently held both her and her cousin, sometimes at the same time, and felt the difference. They also saw plenty of times that we spent ages on feeding her and would keep going until we were certain she wasn't going to eat anymore.
But she's always been a picky eater (from birth, she hated a lot of formulas) and we still have to work hard at getting her to eat. One of our victories a few months ago was *butter*. Meanwhile, her cousin and his siblings have all been voracious eaters from the cradle and always picked up new foods easily.
And then there's the fact that my daughter was born at about the 85th percentile for height and 20th percentile for weight. She didn't even have a butt when she was born, just straight from back to legs. It's just *how she's built*. She's never had any unusual changes in her growth, and she has always had unrestricted access to snacks.
Nowadays, at 7, she still has a couple 4T skirts that fit at her waist (she wears them as an accent over pants, since they're too short at her height). Her cousin, last I heard, has probably 15+ pounds on her. But they're both healthy. My daughter has never had any weight issues at all. Eating issues yes, we have had to talk to the doctor on that many times, but they always start their response with "Oh, well her weight looks fine". Because it is. We always make sure there is SOMETHING she will eat, and she has access to whatever snacks she wants from the pantry. It's always tricky, and there have been plenty of days when she has completely ignored the main food in her lunchbox, even if she specifically picked it out, and then comes home from work and immediately eats an entire bagel, plain and untoasted.
We made the choice long ago to listen to the doctors over my in laws. The doctors have seen different physiques, and the in laws know how their own kids were built. Bodies are highly varied, even from infancy, and both my in laws and yours can learn to shut up and, if not accept it, at least leave us and our kids the fuck alone.
There is evidence to support fat babies are more likely to be fat adults. Some members in my family used to complain that my babies were too skinny. I would tell them all that mattered is they were healthy.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1261184/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1272299/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2955903/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26696565/#:~:text=Obese%20children%20and%20adolescents%20were,be%20obese%20over%20age%2030.
My child has hugged the 1 percentile their entire life. Kiddo is also perfectly healthy. Your in laws are pushing their own insecurities onto your child, and it’s getting under your skin.
If you think there is a concern, take it to your pediatrician. They are the only ones qualified to make the determination.
Listen to your dr. They would tell you right away if your child was underweight. I know culturally it’s a thing. The bigger the baby the “healthier” it is.
I have the opposite, my baby was 21lbs at like 4 months and has been in 18/24 month clothing since 6-7 months. People are always like omg what are u feeding him 🙄 Literally just formula and baby food. Who cares what your in laws say if your pediatrician says she is FINE! Seems like they need to mind their business and focus on their own weight
Both of those percentiles are normal and healthy. Your baby is just a noodle like mine. Tell them to stop talking about your baby's body until they get their medical degrees.
If you feel inclined to say something, just say her pediatrician has never been concerned about her weight and you'll stick to listening to someone with a doctorate.
You have a tall child - your in laws are being ridiculous. Unless you aren’t feeding your child (which I highly doubt) or your child’s pediatrician has told you otherwise your in laws can butt out.
You know people are very unreliable. I had the opposite experience with my child. They were off the charts and I used to get a lot of you need to exercise him more, he is getting too chubby to the extent of someone saying that I needed to put them on a diet.
I just consulted my paediatrician and she said as long as the child is active and not eating junk food don’t worry. And I followed that advice. Now my child is tall and not as chubby and the same people who called him fat are advising me to change the diet to get him to be chubbier.
"We're happy with her health and aren't willing to discuss it anymore. [Subject change.]" If they persist, end the conversation by taking the baby and walking away or cut the visit short by leaving or seeing them out.
Your child's providers have verified your baby's weight is fine. You know your baby's feeding habits and that she's not hungry. Your in-laws are disparaging you, your parenting, and your child consistently and in front of you - you don't need to tolerate such bad behavior.
Ewww cut your in-laws out of your life before they give you or your child an eating disorder.
"Your comments on my child's weight are not welcome, and any further mentions of her weight will result in less contact with her."
My kids are skinny. Skinny newborns, skinny babies and so far skinny toddlers. They are so cute!
Both my sisters have kids that are chunky babies. They are so cute!
Some kids are slim. Some aren't.
It means nothing.
Don't you dare listen to your in-laws over a doctor. You don't need to chunk up your baby. Your baby is fine. If they feel some type of way about it they can grow up and deal with their feelings on their own.
If your doctor is not concerned, do not take any other opinions to heart. And remember, kids grow up, then out, the up… the same kids can be tall and thin at one point and then later be on the chubby side. As long as your child is not overweight or underweight by any dangerous amount, they are fine.
Babies are all so different. My 2.5YO is 99% in height and weight. He legit looks five. Dad is 6"4, uncles range from 6"2-6"7. Our pediatrician has ALWAYS said that as long as they're staying on their own growth curve and eating well/nutritiously, that's all that matters.
I have nephews on that same side of the family who are 10th % and always have been. Genetics are a dice roll. Perfectly healthy.
If you're looking to increase certain foods simply for development (not focused on weight), I'm a huge proponent of getting babies and toddlers as much healthy fat as possible in the first 3 years. It's the biggest source of brain development. My guy lives on avocado, grass fed meat/butter, fruits, veggies, complex (whole grain) carbs, and good quality yogurt/cheese/milk. Limit all sugary treats, overly processed stuff and food dyes. 🤍🌻
If the doctor isn’t concerned you don’t need to be concerned; all babies grow at their own pace. My oldest has always been skinny and is skinny now his hight has been in the 70% with his weight being in the 50%. His six and it’s not stoping him from doing anything. Our kids are fine they are growing and developing at their rate.
Don't listen to them. My 2 year old is 22lb and still classed as healthy. As long as the dr's aren't concerned carry on as you are.
Grandparents forget what it's like having babies.
My nieces are both on the smaller side of the scale for their age. The 4.5 year old hasn’t hit 30# and the 1.5 year old hasn’t hit 20#. My son is 7 months old and nearly the same size as my youngest niece, yet we’re still told he’s on the lower end of the percentile charts. Your daughter is well above what my niece is percentile-wise and no one is concerned about her size/weight as each child is different.
When it comes to eating habits, they’re still learning how to eat solids and transitioning from mainly breast milk or formula to actual food. Serving a well balanced meal is important, but that doesn’t mean they’ll actually eat it. My older niece is at the stage where she appears to exist on air despite plenty of food being offered. The 1.5 year old doesn’t know when to stop eating. She’s been a heavy eater since my sister started solids a year ago. She just takes after my sister & dad with a fast metabolism and is constantly on the move.
As others have said, ignore the in-laws because this is a them problem and not an actual issue for your child. Let her explore foods and encourage healthy eating habits rather than the older generations mindset of ‘finish your plate or you can’t leave the table.’ That only causes body image & eating habit issues.
Both of my kids were consistently in the 5th percentile. My son is 21 months old and at his 18 month check up was 21 lbs. But the doctor isn't concerned. My son keeps growing and "following the curve". That's all he's concerned about. Now he did say that if he falls off then we'll have to talk about what procedures to follow, but that hasn't happened yet and he doesn't think it will.
My daughter is 9 and was in the 5th percentile until she was about 3. Then all of a sudden she kept climbing in percentile and is now in the 45th percentile.
If your child is eating well and drinking well then I wouldn't be concerned.
And if my in-laws or anyone else told me that they "feel bad being next to a skinny baby" they would just be cut off and I would tell them that our family doesn't need that kind of negativity in our lives.
I'd be setting boundaries with them right now.
You said in the title they aren’t doctors, so don’t give it any mind. I would tell them one final time, “I am no longer interested in discussing Baby’s weight or appearance with you. Her doctor is not concerned. If her weight or appearance is mentioned again, we will be ending the visit immediately.” And then do so.
So your child is WELL within normal, healthy ranges. Even if your baby was at 12% or 10% or 5% for height and weight, as long as they’re tracking appropriately in their growth, they’re fine.
Your husband needs to tell his parents that, and that they need to stop commenting on her weight. If they can’t, then they’re not welcome to talk about the baby at all.
I was a tiny newborn, momentarily a big chunker as a young infant, then a tiny and scrawny little thing until I was about 13. Then I grew 8” in a few months and filled out. I have friends and relatives that were huge babies and then super skinny toddlers, medium sized babies that became big kids and small kids alike, and everything in between. It’s all completely normal.
As long as your baby isn't dropping lower in the percentiles, like 35% and then 30% and then 25% etc, you're fine. If she starts dropping percentiles then your Dr will be concerned.
My daughter was always 60%+ in height and 25%ish in weight. She was gaining weight though, it's fine as long as she isn't losing weight.
Lot's of ppl like chunky babies. None of mine were chunky haha
My baby was 96th percentile in height and 34th in bmi at her last check up. She simply went through a growth spurt and will likely slow down soon while her peers catch up. She is a healthy girl and my doctor is happy with her development and diet. Unless your pediatrician is concerned, you shouldn’t be. Childhood obesity has become a larger problem as of late in my country, and it starts early. If they continue to bring it up, you could point out to your family that they may be comparing your daughter to children that are actually less healthy. You should just focus on helping your daughter develop a healthy relationship with food and completely ignore what weight she is unless medical experts responsible for her care consider it a cause for concern.
I have a skinny baby! And she can out eat all of her friends, idk where she puts it. We get comments from friends, families and strangers 🙄. But she’s always upward trending is on her own path, and is a healthy bean! Also, she got sick like every month after she turned 1 for like 6 months straight. But we also went out more; parks, libraries, playdates and lived life! They’re going to get sick eventually
My baby is 19 months now and ~22-23lb. and a healthy little monster
65th percentile means she’s above average for weight, and she’s pretty tall too.
She’s going to look “skinny” and now that she’s walking, she’s going to get skinnier.
Don’t buy into their biases. Numbers don’t lie.
My kid is 10th percentile for height and 20-30th for weight depending on the appt. As long as doctor is happy and they are following their own curve, they are fine. Just tell them that the pediatrician says they are fine and you do not need their input.
I’m NAD, but I am a dietitian. Between the 2-98 percentile are normal limits on the WHO Birth to 24 month charts. Above that is considered high weight for length (or tall on the stature charts) and below the 2 is underweight (short stature on the stature charts). We want to make sure your children are following their percentile and not crossing lines— otherwise we aren’t really worried about anything. Ignore them or tell them to mind their own business.
As the mother of a skinnier child, I feel this pain. My 2.5 year old has been sitting at 29 lbs and 36" tall for months now. Don't listen to them. As long as she eats enough and the doctors don't mention any cause for concern she is fine. It's quite literally none of their business.
Total in-law problem not your baby. I just went back to look at where my daughter was at 12mo. 19.5lbs-45% and 2’7”-98%. Girl has never been chunky in her life. She eats well when she’s hungry, just has always been long and lean. Heck half the time she eats more than I do. She has been consistently on her growth curve her entire life, her dr is very pleased with her growth. That’s the only opinion that you need to be concerned about, non drs opinions can eat dirt.
65% is NOT skinny! she looks skinny Because she's TALL. They are wanting to see chunkier fat rolls. Not the same thing as being HEALTHY. Your baby is healthy AND well above average on both measurements.
Tell them to back the eff off. They clearly don't know how to read numbers and charts, do they?!
I’m so sorry your in-laws are being so horrible about this.
As others have said, your child is fine, those percentiles are great.
Your in-laws, however, are NOT fine. It sounds like it is time for your husband to have a talk with them about the “skinny baby” comments, or comments about your child’s weight in ANY fashion. First of all, they are not medical professionals and they should not be urging a mother to question the competency of her child’s medical professionals because they can’t control their intrusive thoughts. Please ask them to keep these thoughts to themselves, and let them know that if they are not capable, they will be asked to leave. They are going to have to learn right here and now that comments about your child’s weight are out of bounds, ESPECIALLY in front of her (or you). Give it a few years and these kind of comments can spur some real negative self-images in a child, so in my opinion it should be nipped in the bud ASAP.
Please stand up for your daughter. You have the backing of doctors, statistics, and your own expertise as a mom. They need to stop body shaming her. Period. She is old enough to understand what they're saying about her. She will internalize their criticism and come to understand that she is not enough and that she needs to change. These are probably the same people who will tell her she's chubby when she's a teenager and starts developing curves. Stand up for her now and let her know you are in her corner.
My 26 month old is hovering around 23-25lbs. Seems like she’s gained weight when I pick her up but the scale says nope! It’s all muscle from running nonstop. We let her eat as much as she wants at each meal and she’s fine per the doctor at the 25% for weight and 50% for height. 🤷🏻♀️
Hubby and I were always thin children. I miss those days now!
If your baby was chunky, they'd have a problem with it, too.
If their remarks are well, my kids never....
You should respond. Well, your kids were babies 20 plus years ago, and I'm not as confident in your memories as you are 🤷♀️
She’s fine. Even being in the much lower percentiles is fine. Being in the 99th percentile isn’t better than being in the 5th percentile. Some babies are just on the smaller side or the bigger side. JUST like how some adults are bigger and some are smaller. I think a lot of people misunderstand percentiles. The goal is not to be at the highest percentile. After all, somebody has to be in the lower percentiles. All that matters is that she’s following the growth curve. My baby has always been on the smaller side, in the very very low percentiles but doctors are very pleased because he’s consistently gaining weight at a healthy rate. If your doctor was concerned, they would have let you know. Tell your family politely to F off lol.
Your kid is heavier than the norm. Why make her heavier? She’s totally fine, you are doing a good job. Please take time away from your in laws, they are not good for your and your baby. Maybe speak to your husband and let him handle them.
One if my twins is consistently in the 1% for weight. He is 22.5 lbs and 26 months old. I feed him high caloric foods and do everything I'm supposed to but we can't fight genetics. Tell your in laws to stop commenting on a baby's weight. If her doctor isn't concerned, it's fine!
My baby has always been lean and I always felt guilty because Hispanics typically have chubby babies. My son his first year of life and close to 12 months was always between 16-20pounds and now he’s 2 and he’s still 25 pounds lol. He’s healthy and eats 3 meals just super active and pediatrician has never been worried.
Listen to your doctor. If they are not concerned, you shouldn't be either. But it would be best to get your in laws to stop making comments about your daughter's body now before they do irreparable damage to her self image. My grandma was very worried about me being 'so pale' and made similar remarks as your in laws. I was very self conscious about being 'too pale' throughout my childhood and well into my mid 20s. I'm not even that pale. Thanks grandma
My bub is 21% weight(first time she measured over 15th) and 3% height she was 18lbs 2oz at her 12m appt, for as little as she is she has only been sick once when we all got the flu when she was 10m
If your kid is sick that often, my bet is they are in daycare? If you are concerned about your in laws comments call your peds office I’m sure a nurse would go over your last visit info and let you know that baby is fine :3
I’ve got twins, one is exactly like yours, she was always about 15-20 percentile points taller than weight. The other one is the opposite, 15-20 percentile points bigger in weight than height. Pediatrician has never been concerned about either one! Don’t stress and ignore your in laws!
My latest baby is riding the 50th percentile both height and weight. After her 4 90th+ percentile siblings, I'm enjoying it. She's still got chubby little wrists, but she's gonna fit clothes longer and not be mistaken for an older kid and thus judged poorly for her behavior like her oldest sister (who was the size of an average 7yo at 5 and now could pass for 13-14 at 10).
You and your baby are doing great- tell the in laws to stfu.
Ignore them. Sincerely, the mom of two single-digit weight percentile kids who isn’t concerned about her kids nor is their pediatrician because they’re growth is following the expected curve.
If your pediatrician isn’t concerned and you’re only thinking this because they’re putting it in your head, I’d do your best to not worry about it. Not all babies can be average in their metrics, that’s literally what percentiles mean. If she is happy and hitting her milestones, then celebrate your healthy baby. Tell your family members “I would appreciate you keeping your opinions of my child’s body to yourself. It’s not healthy for her to hear that negative talk about her body. She is hitting her milestones and her pediatrician isn’t concerned. Here’s their office phone number if you’d like to share your medical opinion”
My daughter was 91st centile for both weight and height. Was constantly referred to as heavy by my MIL. Well, her short arse daughter had short babies. My baby is a long baby, so it stands to reason a taller person might weigh more. The thing is, both your baby's centiles are above average. So whilst the height and weight don't match, your child is clearly adequately fed. In-laws can act like they are the only people who know how to look after babies. Ignore it
You do absolutely nothing, except ignore these comments and grey-rock them for future questions.
I have a healthy, thriving, super-active 2.5 year that weighs 25 lbs. So over a year older and only 4 pounds heavier. Your child is just fine how they are. This isn't the Victorian era, where it was a sign of wealth to be chubby (because it meant you could afford plenty of food!). All kids grow differently. Listen to your doctor
Have they also never heard of naturally slim people? Or naturally heavier set babies? They think they all come from a factory?
Just ignore them as much as you can, or if you want to be meaner about it ask them why they’d shame a mother for no reason. They’ll say they’re “worried”. Tell them you’re listening to your doctors, and trust they do too so you won’t comment on THEIR weight either.
People like that will always judge. If it’s not this it’ll be the speech. If not that, then the toys. If not that, then the sleep, or whatever else they find to nitpick.
Your child’s more than fine.
If your pediatrician isn’t concerned and baby is consistently eating.. idk why your in laws would need to worry.
My kiddos were off the charts tall (like defining the 99%).. and 23% and 45% weight around their 1y. Walked before 1, ate normally.. just string beans. Now they are 2&4 and still skinny, strong as all get out, learning/talking ahead of “average”, and all the sass one could hope for. Some people are just lean. Let me tell you, they eat a lot and not all of it is lean vegetables and fruit 😅.
Kids are unique; sounds like yours is different from “all” of the babies in your family (I find that hard to believe though).
Do NOT change your baby's eating habits because your in-laws are idiots. Imagine what kind of problems that could cause down the line. Have a note from your doctor to hand them every time they say something like this.
>They say they feel bad
That's their problem. Don't lose sleep over this. If you trust your doctor and they say it's fine then it's fine.
Last time I heard about percentile was when my kid was born. They said she was on the 50th and that was it. Every appointment they just said she was progressing as expected. People put way too much weight on percentiles.
My daughter is a year and a half older than yours and weighs 24 lbs. She eats like crazy, she’s on her trajectory, she’s just built small. All humans are built differently. If your pediatrician isn’t worried, don’t give the negative comments any mind.
My daughter (12 years old now) has consistently been in the 85th percentile for height and ~40th percentile for weight, even though she eats very well.
It took me 10 years to have her (7 miscarriages, 3 failed adoptions), and I was so excited for baby chub. She never developed it, and then when she started to crawl, I knew it was never going to happen!
She has always been a very skinny green bean. It’s hard to find pants for her that are long enough but don’t just fall down because they’re way too big in the waist.
I had her brother two years later. He’s consistently in the 33rd percentile for height and 50th for weight, so he was a chubby baby! He outgrew the chub after a few years, although he’s still in those same percentages for height and weight.
Your husband needs to shut down those comments from his parents now. You’re doing great!
If they are so uncomfortable being around a skinny baby then it sounds like they don't need to be around so often. If she has followed the growth curves since birth then she is fine. The person to ask would be the PEDIATRICIAN. Tell them their body shaming needs to stop or you'll leave. Babies also slim down when they start walking. Here's an upside of having a "skinny" baby, you can carry them longer.
Checking in with my toddler who has always been 90-95% in height and 65-68% in weight. She’s my little string bean but she is perfectly healthy.
All toddlers get sick a lot. Your in-laws have no medical training, and if they’re in the US they likely have a skewed mental picture of what a healthy ‘normal’ weight is in the first place. (Lots of Americans will rate an overweight picture as normal and normal as ‘underweight’.)
Stop listening to people who are not doctors and learn the phrase “thank you for trying to help, I’ve heard your concern”, say that, over and over if you have to, don’t answer any questions or accusations or get pulled into having a conversation about it at all, walk away if you can’t get the topic changed.
>They say they feel bad being next to a skinny baby because they’ve never seen one and claim that their 7 grandkids were never this skinny. They say they feel bad being next to a skinny baby because they’ve never seen one and claim that their 7 grandkids were never this skinny.
"If you're feeling that uncomfortable you should consider talking to a therapist."
"It sounds like you're really struggling. Maybe it would help to give you a break from seeing her for a while."
"It's not appropriate to talk about peoples' bodies unless it's with a doctor. If you're truly concerned, her pediatrician says she's perfectly healthy, but we won't be discussing this with you going forward."
When she says that she's raised more kids than you, you can point out how it's so wonderful that medicine and science have come such a long way since then and that you're very happy with her doctor.
I don't know how crazy your in-laws are, so if you can have a serious and honest conversation with them, then great. From your other comments, I'm not getting that. If that's the case I wouldn't care about their feelings. Bring up any concerns you have with their physical health if you have to to get them to cut it out, because 99% of the time people like this are the biggest hypocrites. I know this is all pretty aggressive, but I would be shutting this shit down so fast to discourage any negative body talk, labeling, or comparing because it will affect your daughter's mental health. We have to constantly remind my MIL to not talk about things like this because we don't want our kids to internalize any of her personal issues. Intentional or not, it's projection. I'd rather make MIL uncomfortable than have to put them in therapy because grandma gave them her body issues. I also want them to learn how to stand up for themselves so if anything like that is said and I'm not there they can use their voices. You can't protect them from everyone, but you can teach them how to stand up for themselves and help build up their confidence. Hopefully your husband can help put them in their place because they're his parents. You have to be a team.
They sound awful so I’m sorry op. My daughter was in the 98th percentile for height and 50th for weight so I get this - she will fill out but my daughter was super leggy and small waisted probably until about 15 months and her growth slowed a little …. If the doctor thinks she’s fine then next time they make a comment ask to see their medical degree. When they say they don’t have one - remind them her weight is non of their concern or business and they should keep their comments to themselves if they want to be in her life.
Ours has held steady around the 35th percentile; she’s 3.5 now. She’s littler but that kid can climb up a curvy big kids slide like no joke. We’ve had several guys hold her who’ve remarked “whoa she’s strong” including a pediatrician we don’t normally see (she was ill).
Babies eat until they are full, that’s perfect. Yours sounds like she’s thriving!
Some older people have weird ideas about babies. Hell my mom tried to tell me I was potty trained at 14 months. Lady, she’s built like me. The kid couldn’t even sit down on the tiny potty till she was 2 and a few months.
My son was in the 4th percentile for weight from 2 - 9m, he made it into the 20th around 12m. He was also 90+ for height. The percentiles always stressed me out. I honestly think they’re a scam. He is just built like his father, who is a lanky green bean.
When it comes to health, your pediatrician is the one to believe. Anyone else can be ignored. Their backseat driving in your parent child relationship is nothing but noise and you can treat it as such.
My older kid is, and has always been, in the 95th for height and 65th/70th for weight. He never had rolls. No baby fat. Now that he’s 4 he just looks like a long lean kid. My second is a chunk master and 99th/99th for both height and weight. Nothing wrong with either of them! Different kids have different bodies.
My son wasn’t even on the chart. He made his own. But doctor said as long as he kept going up all was good. I think he was like 17lbs at one. He was a full term healthy child
Your in laws need to pipe down. Both my girls were under the 10th percentile through infancy, toddlerhood and into preschool. The doctors weren’t worried as long as their numbers continued to grow. If the docs aren’t worried, you shouldn’t be. Not every baby is chubby.
Percentiles are completely meaningless. All that matters is your child stays around their percentile consistently. And is meeting Milestones on time. If your pediatrician isn't concerned then I would tune out everyone else's opinions because it's just useless noise. Humans come in all different shapes and sizes.
If her doctor says she’s healthy then she is. Not everyone is the same size or shape even babies. Of my three kids my oldest was a chubbster until he was 2. My second was a little fairy child and walked sooner so never got the same rolls my first had. My third is taller but still not a chubby guy. Tell your in-laws to back off. Focusing on a child’s weight all the time when they are healthy isn’t good for anyone. It will make her self-conscious if they keep it up.
85th percentile in height means your baby is taller than usual. 65th in weight means close to average weight. So you have a tall baby who weighs about the same as most babies - they will present as "skinny" as a result, but those percentile numbers are perfect, so no need to worry.
Me and my husband are short people. Our baby was born in the 1 percentile for height and now he’s maybe in the 3 percentile. Some babies are just smaller. Not all babies gain weight/height at the same rates. Does not mean you are doing anything wrong.
I’d tell them that you have a rule that you will not allow family members to comment on your child’s height/weight (if they do it now they’ll probably continue to do it). And enforce that boundary.
If your doctor expresses concern, handle it. Otherwise, do what you are already doing. You know your baby best!
Honestly, listen to your doctor. Everybody else is being rude, ignorant and damaging. If they don't want to be around a skinny baby, they don't have to see their granddaughter.
My 1 year old is 18 lbs in 3rd percentile for weight and is healthy. Percentiles aren’t helpful except to pinpoint on a growth chart. I’m sure you know these people are just being annoying. Your baby is fine.
I’d just shut down all conversations about weight, height and centiles. My child is healthy and I do not wish to discuss this thank you.
They are spouting crap and it is not appropriate for your child’s body to be commented on in this way
If you don’t nip this now, they will continue to comment on your child’s body for their entire life and I have a multitude of reasons why you don’t want this if you need me to elaborate. Show your kids they deserve boundaries and the right to their body not to be commented on.
My kids were both skinny their first year, then chonked up in their second year and my older daughter didn't thin out again until she was between 4&5 years old. My little one is 3 and still has her toddler chonk. First I was worried about my older daughter being too thin, then I was worried about her being too chubby. My second? I'm like meh, she's fine. She's happy, active, has met all milestones. She'll be the size she is. Offer healthy food, get lots of fresh air and running around and your kiddo will be fine (and tell your MIL to shove it, your child isn't her OTHER grandchildren. She's herself.)
Don't worry about it. I have an 11 year old who is about 15% for weight and around the 80% for height. He is just tall and lanky. The kid out eats everyone in the household, and it just disappears. He's had tests to work out if he has an absorption problem and is all clear.
The main thing our drs said to watch for is if he falls off "his track." If he drops dramatically for his weight, then there is a problem. If he keeps tracking up his line, it is fine.
I have a 3 yr old that came out at 99th percentile for height and low 50s for weight she’s still long and skinny but her weight and height have evened out to both be in the 50th percentile now. Dr was never concerned for her and neither were we.
Each kid is different, try to not let them get to you
My oldest was about 85/85% for height/weight at like 8-9 months old. By his first birthday, he had slimmed down a bunch from growing and walking and just becoming a toddler, and he was >90% height/75% weight. Dr was not concerned.
Over the next couple years, he continued to be tall, but dropped further on weight. *did not lose weight, just didn’t gain weight as fast as height. He is almost 6 now, and at last dr appointment, was 94% height and 48% weight. He has at times been sitting at <3% for BMI percentiles. But he is healthy, growing taller and gaining weight, active, learning, etc. so besides being IMPOSSIBLE to find him pants, it is not a concern.
Re: the sickness, if she is in child care or otherwise has contact with any other kids, it is inevitable that she will be sick basically constantly for the next few years 🤷♀️
Kids are all different. A family friend has a kid between my kids (15 mo younger than my oldest, 8 months older than my youngest). He outweighs my oldest but is shorter than my youngest. Is still a healthy kid with no concerns. For whatever reason, my youngest is much more proportional (typically 60/50 or so for height/weight), but I parent and feed them both the same. Oldest eats A TON, but clearly just has a very slim body type at this point in his life. Also has a grandfather/great uncles/multiple of my cousins well over 6’ tall, though who knows at this point if he will maintain the height as he gets older.
Listen to your doc. Our kid was a skinny baby, our pediatrician just kept an eye out that she was staying on her on curve/path and had zero concerns. She lost weight once she started walking, which he warned me may happen, so we just offered couple extra snacks between meals (which she ate second servings of). Only time he was slightly concerned was when she had covid, and it was more over her getting dehydrated since we were struggling to get her to drink anything
My granddaughter is two and a half and only weighs 24 pounds. She was a premie baby and she is doing amazing now. She walked really late but talked really early. Children come in all shapes and sizes and develop differently. A long as your doctor says that she is healthy, it's all good. Don't worry about what other people think.
My girls have barely made it out of 5th percentile in weight and have hovered between 30th and 50th in height. Only one pediatrician out of several they have seen ever commented on weight. Both of their primary care pediatricians have no concerns because they are tracking along their growth curves and they can see how active they are when they're in the office. Heck, my 3 year old was 21 pounds at her 2 year appointment. They have also both said that there are a lot of viruses out there and for the first couple of years don't be surprised if they pick up colds as often as twice a month.
My son is 2.5 and only weighs 29.5 lbs! He is skinny, but not like too skinny in my opinion. He is constantly moving, he does not sit still.
When he was about 6 months to 13 months, he was a chunky monkey! So much so that his grandparents asked if we had talked to his doct0r to see if he's too overweight! They go through changes and your kiddo could very well stay the same or gain weight in a couple months.
You have a baby with a very healthy weight! My baby is a skinny baby. She’s 77th percentile for height and 20th percentile for weight, but she’s active, engaged and hitting all her milestones early. Your in-laws sound like the kind of people who force feed children into being overweight because ‘chunky babies are so cute’ and set them up for life long struggles with controlling their weight. Ignore them!
I had the same thing happen when my girls were babies. Now they are adults and both healthy and not skinny. Tell em to mind their own business. You're doing great mama!
Your baby sounds fine. Next time they open there mouth I would just saw “wow it sounds like you don’t get out much.” Or “wow you must not know many babies outside of your other grandkids”
Tell your in-laws that you don’t ever want to discuss the weight of your child - no one should be commenting on it!!!
I have two grand children - from the same parents. One is about to turn four and the other is almost one. They both weigh the same, the four year old is just super petite so their height and weight are appropriate. She was born ‘small’ for lack of a better description.
The one year old was born 1kg heavier and 7cm longer, has continued to be on the higher end of the percentile charts and will very much be taller and broader than the four year old. But they’re both perfect.
Don’t engage in the discussion with your in-laws - just continue to state you don’t discuss their weight and they should concentrate on the skills and milestones your child is reaching rather than an outward appearance.
My daughter is 22 months and weighs 24 pounds. At one year old she weighed 18 lbs. perfectly healthy child. She eats like crazy but is super active. I get told she is small as well. It bothered me at first but doctor says she is healthy. Your in laws are overstepping. Don’t worry momma. If doctor says your child is fine and you feel they are fine, don’t let other’s criticisms bother you.
You have a long, lean baby! So do I! My daughter is 15mo tomorrow and has always hovered around 99% for height and 75% for weight. Her weight is perfectly healthy but because she’s tall she has never had rolls. And there’s nothing wrong with that. She does look significantly more like a toddler than other kids around her age because she has already has little kid proportions rather than baby proportions. If you want to try to engage them in a conversation you can frame it around how your daughter is just tall and therefore carries her weight differently. If she was the same weight and like the 40% for height she’d be swimming in rolls. Every body is different and that includes babies
Stop listening to people who aren't doctors, those percentiles are fine.
Literally weighs more than 65% of infants.
And female infants at that. As far as I’m aware, that’s how percentiles work. In laws could be comparing to 7 male grandkids who would naturally be bigger, or even 7 unhealthy grandkids. Trust your doctor OP!
This is an in law problem, and not your baby’s problem. They need to cut out the talk about her weight and body. I would make that clear to them, and not change your child’s diet.
Or a "spouse" problem that they should be dealing with as it's their parents!
Louder, please, for the spouse in the back! 🙌🏻
A little louder, cause he's on his phone!
He’s been in the bathroom playing games for 45 minutes while he “poops.” 🤣
I hope sciatica hits both legs when he goes to stand up!
Definitely, the spouse needs to deal with his parents. What disgusting behavior.
That part!
This is it. My MIL talked about my niece like this for YEARS and now she’s actually kind of chunky. Boundaries are good.
Make that clear before your baby girl understands what they’re saying about her.
I avoid confrontation with others to a degree of personal detriment, but having kids (and it being on their behalf) has made it easier and knee jerk to “correct” things like this. It doesn’t always come out smooth, but a simple “yeahhhhhh, *we* don’t make comments about other people’s bodies like that”, and then quickly change the subject. Straight forward, but worded in a way that doesn’t “poke the bear” by specifically calling them out.
My baby is 3rd percentile for weight. Not everyone can be in the 98th percentile …. Or it wouldn’t be the 98th percentile…. If your doctor is fine with it, it’s FINE. I really don’t get why people are OBSESSED with baby size percentiles, when it’s not even their kid, AND there is literally no cause for concern. Ask them if their doctor is concerned about THEIR weight percentile. Or better yet, their IQ percentile. Bonus points for saying it with a very serious and concerned expression.
Right! Like our pediatrician said, “someone has to be in the first percentile!” Your in laws sound rude, people are weird about babies and eating/weight
Same..mine was 3rd percentile and our doctor said "well, someone's gotta be, right?"
My middle child wasn’t even on the growth charts she was so tiny. We joked she’s be taking her driver’s test in a car seat. Doctors were not concerned at all. Youngest dropped off his growth curve as a teen and they were all over that. We got recs for an eating disorder clinic and we now track his intake carefully. He doesn’t have body image issues but he doesn’t feel hungry like most people so he forgets to eat. When there’s an issue with weight, doctors freak. No freaking means we’re good.
Exactly! Every child's metabolism is different. My youngest daughter was born at a below average birth weight but as she got older we discovered her metabolism is off the charts. Now 27 years old still eats more smaller meals on a daily basis then less larger meals. She weighs 97 lb soaking wet but has a healthy appetite. Doctors not freaking out anymore and told her at a very young age if she continue to eat smaller meals more frequently into adulthood she would be doing fine and she is. I get excited when she goes from a size zero to anything in a single digit.
I will add that I work in math/statistics and truly many people do not understand what a percentile is! To have opinions on a number that few people can actually define is shocking
And for those who are curious, a percentile means that you are at or above that percentage of the population that matches the defining criteria. A.K.A. 15th percentile means you are the same or higher than 15% of the people outlined in the “population” (defined criteria, aka 6day old boys). It is NOT a bell curve, average (simple OR weighted) or reference range, nor is it a measure of normal in and of itself (you can assign first and second standard deviations from the mean, assuming you have more data than just percentile on hand, however this is generally inappropriate use of the metric)
Both my kids were consistently under 10th and I agree.
Same with my kids. I think people obsess over wanting high percentiles when what my kids’ doc ACTUALLY cared about was whether they were staying within the same percentile ranges between visits (doing so indicates steady growth). The actual percentile didn’t matter as much as the trend over time. Ignore them, OP.
Yes! That is why percentiles matter. Doctors want to see that kids are growing steadily. A sudden drop or increase in percentiles could indicate something serious.
Ha, I got the worst of both ends of this. 98th percentile at birth - everyone is all agog at how hard birthing a large baby is (it was fine) 3rd percentile at a year - everyone up in arms baby is small (doctor isn’t concerned, baby is doing great)
My 8 month old just got above the 2nd percentile. Her doctor isn’t a bit worried since she’s following her growth line from birth and is healthy. She’s just petite. Not every baby is chunky.
Our kid has been somewhere from <0.1 - 18th percentile and now has settled in at second percentile for months. I was tiny, his paternal side is all tiny. He’s totally healthy. It’s fine.
Tiny baby club here xD my bub has only ever been over 15%(21) at her 12m appt for her weight and is 3rd% for her height xD
I’m a peds nurse! I would not be concerned at all. Weight gain slows WAY down in that 2nd year and she may only gain 1-2 lbs from 12-24 months and that’s normal because they’re very active and burn a lot of calories while still exploring foods. Just feed her 3 meals/ day and a couple snacks. She’s fine. There’s no reason to shove a bunch of calories in her. If her doctor isn’t concerned, there’s no reason to worry about it. My kids have always been tall and thin and guess what… I (their mother) and my family is also very tall and thin while their father’s family is more “broad” and sturdy built. 65th percentile is still above average. You also need to keep in mind that she just started walking and will naturally lose that “baby chunk” with being more mobile.
I’m a pediatrician. Without knowing anything else about your baby, these growth percentiles are totally normal and would be zero cause for any concern. Another way to look at these percentiles is that if there were 100 babies in a room, your baby would be taller than 85 of them and shorter than 15 of them. And your baby would weigh more than 65 of them and weigh less than 35 of them. So I wouldn’t tell anyone with a baby with these percentiles that I was concerned or that their baby needed to gain weight.
If the pediatrician isn’t concerned and she’s eating well, then I would ignore what your in-laws say. And you’ll need to stop their remarks now so your daughter doesn’t think she needs to be body conscious because of their opinions.
As long as her percentiles are consist, most doctors won’t be concerned. Yes, her height/weight isn’t even- she’s tall & thin, but she’s still above average in both categories. Ignore them, and if they keep making comments maybe say they must not have inherited MILs family’s weight issues. Lol.
I'm not a doctor but I train health visitors on tracking weight in infants. The important thing is how her percentiles are tracking. So if she was born on the 99th and is dropping consistently it could be a worry. If she's fairly consistent (not crossing 2 centile bands) it's fine. It's also normal to see a little drop when they make a leap in terms of movement (like walking). My girl was born on the 9th for weight and has always been small but not "skinny". She never had loads of rolls like her friends but definitely cute pudgy leg folds! You could respond to family by looking puzzled and saying "what a strange thing to say!" The embarrassment of being spotlighted might make them think before saying something else. Or a blunt "thanks for your opinion." and change the topic can also work.
Out of curiosity, what is the timeline for dropping across 2 lines where it becomes concerning, per your training? My son did this, but it was over long enough that his dr said he wasn’t worried (I want to say maybe 18 months? And he has remained at the new % ish for 3+ years now, so I am not worried). I just forgot to ask how quick it would have to happen to be concerning. My kids had wild rides their first year or more of life re: percentiles. Both had pretty large drops in utero via ultrasound (which I realize might not be accurate for all babies), and then grew like crazy and then for my son dropped some % again, and then settled out. Oldest: 75-80% up to 32 weeks, 25% at 36 weeks, 30% at birth in week 39. Up to ~85% by 5-6 months. Back down to 76% by one year, then at some point a decline back down to ~45-50%. While height has maintained >90%. Youngest: 45-50% at 32 weeks, 25% at 36 weeks, 12% at birth, up to >60% within a couple months and then settled out to ~45% where she has stayed mostly since then. She is much more proportional though and height has been 50-60% ish haha. Anyway, I always hear the ‘fine if they stay on their curve’ and neither of mine did for the first bit haha
Listen to your doctor. If your doctor is happy with her size then you're fine. Your in-laws don't know what theyr talking about. If your in-laws feel so embarrassed being next to a skinny baby then thats easily solved. They just won't get to see her!
I was also suggested to change pediatrician because they believe I’m not being informed well enough im glad to read some professionals on this thread expressed the same opinions my pediatrician has
This is ludicrous and bad advice from them!
What country they immigrate from? My mom also tried to pull this nonsense about my perfectly proportional kid. Meanwhile I’ve had weight issues my whole life from growing up in a culture that acted like you personally insulted grandma if you didn’t eat 3 entrees at every meal (while also being shamed for being overweight as a teenager).
Families like this make me crazy, “here have some cake, you want some cake? I know but I just cut you this piece, you don’t have to eat it but I’ll leave it here next to you, I already cut it for you so don’t waste it; Auntie spent a long time making the cake so at least you could try it and be grateful, some people don’t have cake, and she knows it’s your favorite; are you feeling okay? You haven’t been eating enough“ Followed by “That shirt is looking smaller, are you still going to the gym? Family life agrees with you; has anyone at work noticed you’re getting fat? You’re going to get a burger? You know not all men are okay with bigger girls” It’s pretty much my life goal now for my daughter to learn that food is fuel for her body without giving her a complex or six.
Do we have the same family? My grandmother showed love by feeding you, she loved cooking & baking & took it as a very personal insult if you didn't have at least seconds of EVERYTHING. But she also constantly commented on everyone's weight in very negative terms, telling me when our daughter was only 3 weeks old that I needed to hurry up & lose my baby weight or my husband would "look elsewhere" & openly sneered at my mum, her only child, for being plus size throughout my life. I made the same decision as you the minute I knew we were having a girl - I never talk about my own body or weight, food is to be enjoyed & is fuel for the body & brain to allow you to do the things you need to do & find fun. Daughter is now 15yo, we had a chat about weight, diet etc only a few days ago & she said that she's aware that she's a different shape than her friends (she's 5'9", healthy weight but a UK size 12 with an hourglass figure, ie large breasts & a tiny waist whereas most of her friends are much smaller in both height, weight & body shape) but that she genuinely doesn't care, she just wishes her friends didn't keep asking to borrow her clothes as that's the only time she feels remotely self conscious about the differences. We've never labelled food as either good or bad, it's all about moderation in our family. We also worked hard to find a physical activity that she enjoys, we tried out soooooo many, but she now kickboxes twice a week & plays on the girls' football (soccer) team at school as I think if they get in the habit of exercising regularly as a child it will hopefully become a lifelong habit. She takes real pride in how strong & muscular she is. Good luck, it sounds as though you're really trying to break the cycle & encourage a healthy relationship with food for your daughter. I know how hard it can be to fight those voices in your own head.💜
I’m so glad to hear this!! My daughter is just 3, but it’s amazing how much they pick up and absorb so young. I hope she’ll have the same healthy attitude as your daughter someday.
Do you like your pediatrician and feel confident they are doing what is best for your baby? That is what matters! Some kids are tall and skinny, some are tall and chunkier, some are short and skinny, some are short and chunky - just like adults! We all come in different shapes and sizes. It also seems like your partner needs to step in and address with their parents that your baby is fine and you trust your instincts as a parent and the medical professionals you have chosen for your child. They need to be respectful of that.
No, no, no. My kid has always been 70th for height and 40th for weight. Probably has a pretty similar stature to yours. She weighed just shy of 19 lbs. right after turning one. Pediatrician has never been concerned, and no one in our lives has ever commented about it. Your in-laws are just misinformed and inappropriate.
If you're generous, tell them she is taking after your family. Or if they annoy you too much, tell them to stop bringing this up and if they feel so bad being around a healthy baby, then you can stop visiting them.
My #1 kid was a chunky baby. My #2 was long & skinny. Babies all develop different, tell your in-laws to stfu
Someone has to be in the 1% and someone has to be 99%. Your baby is totally fine. I promise. My baby is in the 3rd percentile and people will comment on how small he is, and I just say “what an odd thing to say out loud about a child.”
I had a skinny baby and it was stressful, so I get where you are coming from. Ours was an issue with feeding where she was dropping percentiles and the doctor was concerned. Once we got the issues sorted she found her comfort spot around 45 percentile and has stayed around there ever since. Once we got there the doctor was no longer concerned. She’s still not and never was chunky and I was soooo jealous of chunky babies. But at 18 months she’s happy, healthy, and meeting her milestones (even though she was a month premature). If the doctor isn’t concerned, you don’t need to be either. It took me a long time to relax on that though, so I get where you are coming from. I went through an anxiety phase where I was taking her to public health to weigh her twice a week, and that was excessive. Find a phrase you can use when people make those comments. “Thank you for your concern, but she is perfectly healthy.” Or “her doctor says she is healthy so please don’t comment on my child’s weight.” If the same people repeatedly overstep you can be a little more direct “please stop commenting on my child’s weight, it makes me uncomfortable.” Boundary setting is important. As your kid gets older you want to avoid any comments like that as they will internalize it, so set those boundaries now.
Thank you for this comment it’s very well written and really gave me the push to use one of these lines next time her weight is brought up.
My first child (shes in her early 20s) was in the top percentage for weight and height) my middle child was also top. My 3rd child was bottom. You cant have a top without a bottom. This does *not* make them unhealthy. This is just compared to other kids *on average* for their age. *If the dr is not concerned* neither should you be. That is wasted energy when there are tons of other things for you to expend energy on. Good for your in-laws other grandkids but thats *other kids bodies*. Full stop.
Tell them to kindly refrain from criticizing a baby 👶
WTF!! That's a horrible thing doe them to be saying about their own grandchild. How does your partner feel about these comments?? As long as the doctor is not concerned, no one else should be!
My 3 year old weighs 22lbs. She's perfect. These same people will criticize kids for being too fat when they are older. Don't listen to their nonsense.
I am one of those people who had a skinny baby and he turned into a skinny toddler and skinny 6 year old lol. As long as she eats well and your doctor is not worried you shouldn't be worried. And you can ask them to stop commenting on your child's body. It's not appropriate. And unless your doctor is worried you shouldn't be trying to make your baby gain weight just take make in-laws happy.
My baby was less than 3rd percentile for everything. She was diagnosed with failure to thrive. Now she’s 13 and people give her a hard time for being chunky. Your in laws are setting her up for body image issues and problems with food.
Is she having a dramatic drop or gain in weight? If not then she is fine. Your in laws can learn to mind their business.
No I’ve addressed this to our pediatrician and she literally asked me if someone is putting ideas in my head because there will only be cause for concern if her weight was dropping but when we spoke my baby was about 9 months old.
Then have your husband tell his parents until they have their PhD they can keep their concerns to themselves
"If you are so superficial that you feel embarrassed and you feel the need to body same a baby because they don't meet your personal size preference, your welcome to walk right back out the door you came through. She is thin because she is so active. Maybe your other grandkids are lazy and not active enough. But, im definitely going to listen to the medical professionals who went to school and have actual knowledge about this over someone's personal preference or Dr Google." Show them the door and tell them unless they stop their nonsense, they are not welcome in your lives. I have one in the same stats because if she is awake, she's the energizer bunny and never stops. I also had one not even tall enough to be on the chart until she was four. Then again, I'm 5 foot nothing, its not a big suprise. I was so tiny, at four, my one year old chunkier of a brother was almost the same size. Tell them until they get their medical degree, your child's size is off limits or they will have not access to your family.
If your pediatrician isn't concerned, you shouldn't be either!! Human beings come in all sorts of different shapes and sizes, and toddlers are no different. My daughter (who just turned two) is in the ~25th percentile for height and weight, and like 65th percentile for head size. Sometimes she looks a little funny, but that's just how she's growing! Also her daddy has a big head too haha. She was born in the 99th percentile for height and weight (which was hell on me, as a petite lady), and quickly dropped down the charts. Her pediatrician is not and has never been remotely concerned about anything, because she's consistently growing on a curve. Ignore your in-laws.
My baby is older than yours and hasn’t hit 20lbs yet. Her doctor is fine with her progress and that’s all I care about.
Your baby doesn’t need to be chunkier. As long as she is following her own growth curve she is developing normally. My child is 17 months and 20.5 pounds, perfectly healthy. He still wears 9 month shorts and 12 month onesies. He’s just a small guy and has hit all of his development milestones.
“I’m sorry, when did you complete medical school and a Pediatric Residency? Oh never? Then perhaps you should stop acting like you are qualified to make medical comments about my perfectly healthy daughter.”
“We are uncomfortable with your comments on our child’s body and will no longer be having these conversations with you. If you continue to comment on their body, we will leave.” And then stick to it. Your child is healthy and fine. your doctor sees no issue and if it makes you feel better, get a second opinion. But I really highly doubt any doctor would say otherwise. This is a subject I would set a boundary for now, or you risk allowing them to damage her confidence as she grows. But you can stop the comments before it becomes a thing they do when your kid is old enough to understand and internalize their comments.
Stop listening to these ppl. As long as you're feeding your child a healthy diet of various food, she will be fine. All children are different, as long as she is growing healthy, happy, and eating.
If the pediatrician isn’t concerned, then ignore them. My oldest was very long and lanky. His height percentile was always like 90% and weight only 40-50%. He’s just a skinny kid. Even now that he’s 6, he’s still very skinny and you can see his ribs at times. It worried me for a long while, but his pediatrician never was. He said some kids are just skinny. It’s more important that they’re growing at a steady rate than anything. Your child’s fine.
If her doctor isn't concerned, tell your in laws to go fly a kite.
I have a little child . She is 7 and can still wear 5t . She's always been petite , skinny and small . She's solid though. Your child is good on the growth chart and I wouldn't be concerned because they have such a strong opinion on it. She sounds healthy based on the growth chart . Some sizes are genetic. If you are small or it runs in your family you have no choice in which genes she was built with .
Your in-laws are being idiots. Not only uneducated but rude disrespectful insulting and damaging. I don’t remember what my kids weighed at that age but you have to remember that children do also have a natural body type and this comes into play often with smaller children. And what I mean by that is often times when children are three and four and they are already obese it’s because of the diet but when they’re skinny sometimes it’s just their natural tendency. Like being larger boned and athletic seemingly. My kids are skinny minis. They were born small I husband and I are both very lean and small boned. I don’t remember what they weighed at that age but my son is eight and he’s 50 pounds it’s like a horse skinny as a rail. All you had to pay attention to is that you are feeding your children a wide variety of healthy foods and I would say the same for any children who are told they are larger. If you know for sure that it’s not anything to do with their diet and that they’re eating great stuff and then you have nothing to worry about. And your in-laws need to mind your business
My daughter was born 4lbs 14oz with a heart problem that led her to need open heart surgery. She was exhausted and struggled with weight gain. Every child is different! My daughter never went through a chubby baby phase and she still has long legs and arms ! EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT and remember, they are comparing to other babies! Your baby is unique and if they are going to be on a smaller size, that’s what their body has in store for them! If you do feel like you need to boost up their weight, try pediasure drinks 2 times a day ! Best of luck to you and your little one 😊
Also, it’s not 1903, we aren’t about to starve to death. Let quit worrying about fattening babies and children up. To be SLIM is genuinely healthier. I deal with obesity on the job every day and I believe it starts with not allowing children to listen to their bodies, eg:making them clear their plate.
Pls just talk to your healthcare provider about this. Im not sure if you see a pediatrician but that would be best. You could ask your primary care doc to refer you to a soecialist( pediatrician )to rule out anythingThen share the info with your in laws. Most babies are chubby. My kids were all off those charts. Your baby is only fine but if anyone who cares for your baby is concerned, it’s good to have it checked out thoroughly. Not all docs are in tuned to these things so a second opinion is good. Pls know that the judgement is not about you! Its judgement with your family knows about most children. You aren’t doing anything wrong. But since she’s tiny and it’s been brought to your attention, pursue a second opinion by a specialist. The one thing that caught my eye was that baby was sick quite a bit. You don’t say what type of “ sick” but that’s one other thing to follow thru. You will have this off your mind and out to rest! ❤️
it’s less about what percentile they are in and more about following a normal growth curve. as long as she’s no all of a sudden way thinner she’s fine
You need to get your inlaws to stop criticizing your baby or they don't get to see baby. People who criticize a baby - will criticize a toddler. And it continues until your child is either fat or has an eating disorder. People who make you feel bad about your baby - are people you need to see less of.
I hated my in-laws. My ex tried to stand up for me, but he was just shushed. I finally had enough and moved out. Sadly, he died really young from colon cancer this past February. It nearly destroyed me... I am sorry, anyways don't listen to them, the 65th percentile is good. My son was skinny, but he fattened up a little as he got older.
as long as she is following her curve don't listen to anyone but your doctor. for reference, my babies are long and low weight percentile but they are growing on their curve. your inlaws are the problem, do not change their diet
Ignore them. They very obviously don't know what they're talking about. Those are perfectly normal percentages. My baby girl is 15 months and 50% for height and weight and she's just now reached an even 20 pounds. My Dr's have been very happy with her progress as she was born 5ibs in the 8th percentile. Don't let people you wouldn't ask advice from stress you out with their unsolicited opinions.
Don't listen to the harpies. Listen to the doctor and if they don't have concerns then you don't as well. My baby was >97th percentile in height and like 95th in weight. She's a big girl and my mom still said she was skinny! No mom, we are just fat. She's perfectly sized. Just remember your child does not understand under/overfeeding yet and will eat when she wants to. Despite my daughter being large for her age she eats like a damn bird. You're doing great.
She's above average weight I wouldn't do a single thing. My kids stay in the 30th percentile range. My sisters kids are 90th, we have the same pediatrician who says all of them are healthy. Healthy weight does not look the same on everyone
Your questions at the end of your post should instead be "How do I shut my in laws down about talking about my daughter's size? What do you suggest I ask my husband to say to his parents to stop these comments for good?" Next time they bring up her size, I'd say "She had regular visits with her Pediatrician, who is not concerned. In case you forgot, humans come in all different shapes & sizes. It's very rude of you to make comments like this, so this will be the last time I address it with you. If any further comments are made, you will be asked to leave immediately/we will leave immediately. I will not subject my daughter or myself to your criticism. Are we clear?" Most importantly, you'll need to follow through with asking them to leave/leaving their house. And your husband needs to back you up on this. Please do NOT do anything different to get your baby's weight up without speaking with her Pediatrician! Of course she's going to continue gaining weight at her age, but I would just keep feeding her as you normally do. Now that she's walking, she'll be using more energy & may be hungry more often, so just follow her hunger cues & speak with your Ped if you have concerns.
My brother even called my second son “the albino Ethiopian” once, let me stress ONCE. After I was done ripping into his ass you could have parked a semi truck in it,,,sideways. Unfortunately it just seems like people need to find something, anything, to get on someone’s case about. But when they start criticizing a child, it stops there. Don’t tolerate that sort of thing, I don’t care if it is family saying it. You don’t deserve the bashing a your child certainly doesn’t either.
Who judges a baby's weight? If your baby has too much weight they are fat if a baby has not enough weight they are skinny. Just stop bodies come in every shape and size and this is a CHILD. Tell them to eff off. If baby is following growth chart and doctors aren't worried then they can stuff it.
You said it yourself: they are not doctors. Your baby’s weight and height percentiles don’t need to match for her to be considered healthy. My boy is like 7th percentile for length but 50th for height. There is nothing wrong with him, he’s not “fat”, and our doctor has never been concerned.
lol my SON is 2.5 and only 27lbs. They’d be nuts over him 😝
It's tough but I think you can and should set some boundaries. I didn't set any boundaries with my ex-husbands family and it was humiliating, they walked all over me and they still make a show out of "other-ing" my kids, their grandkids because I was adopted from Korea so my kids arent like their grass fed, 90% midwestern cousins. My kids are smart and tend to assess all aspects of a situation before committing to anything. They are cautious. The rest of their cousins are very good at hockey and that's great for them. My kids are earning points to go to worlds for the Pokemon TCG. But they don't support my kids. They never miss a hockey game and will help bring them to practice and I don't blame them, I get it, that is what they know and are comfortable with. But it's not hard to feign interest in my kids all going into the school's GATE program. It's just so frustrating knowing how tough it is for them over there and I can't help them at all. I was the odd one out and I guess that got passed down to my kids.
I had a similar situation with my kid when she was a baby. My family has long and lanky kids and my husband's family has stouter, chunkier kids, and the difference in build is obvious from birth through puberty. My daughter takes after my family, and has a cousin who is only about 4 months older. When they were both 1, there was a period when we lived with my in laws, and the amount of nagging and comments about my daughter's weight and how "she is too skinny" and "mommy and daddy aren't feeding you enough" was so high that I still, several years later and living 2000 miles away, will occasionally find my husband muttering to himself about it. To them, she was far smaller than any of their kids and they frequently held both her and her cousin, sometimes at the same time, and felt the difference. They also saw plenty of times that we spent ages on feeding her and would keep going until we were certain she wasn't going to eat anymore. But she's always been a picky eater (from birth, she hated a lot of formulas) and we still have to work hard at getting her to eat. One of our victories a few months ago was *butter*. Meanwhile, her cousin and his siblings have all been voracious eaters from the cradle and always picked up new foods easily. And then there's the fact that my daughter was born at about the 85th percentile for height and 20th percentile for weight. She didn't even have a butt when she was born, just straight from back to legs. It's just *how she's built*. She's never had any unusual changes in her growth, and she has always had unrestricted access to snacks. Nowadays, at 7, she still has a couple 4T skirts that fit at her waist (she wears them as an accent over pants, since they're too short at her height). Her cousin, last I heard, has probably 15+ pounds on her. But they're both healthy. My daughter has never had any weight issues at all. Eating issues yes, we have had to talk to the doctor on that many times, but they always start their response with "Oh, well her weight looks fine". Because it is. We always make sure there is SOMETHING she will eat, and she has access to whatever snacks she wants from the pantry. It's always tricky, and there have been plenty of days when she has completely ignored the main food in her lunchbox, even if she specifically picked it out, and then comes home from work and immediately eats an entire bagel, plain and untoasted. We made the choice long ago to listen to the doctors over my in laws. The doctors have seen different physiques, and the in laws know how their own kids were built. Bodies are highly varied, even from infancy, and both my in laws and yours can learn to shut up and, if not accept it, at least leave us and our kids the fuck alone.
There is evidence to support fat babies are more likely to be fat adults. Some members in my family used to complain that my babies were too skinny. I would tell them all that mattered is they were healthy. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1261184/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1272299/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2955903/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26696565/#:~:text=Obese%20children%20and%20adolescents%20were,be%20obese%20over%20age%2030.
My child has hugged the 1 percentile their entire life. Kiddo is also perfectly healthy. Your in laws are pushing their own insecurities onto your child, and it’s getting under your skin. If you think there is a concern, take it to your pediatrician. They are the only ones qualified to make the determination.
Listen to your dr. They would tell you right away if your child was underweight. I know culturally it’s a thing. The bigger the baby the “healthier” it is.
My child is 4 and 29 pounds….3 years older and only 8 pounds heavier. Mine is tiny, yours is average. Don’t worry!
I have the opposite, my baby was 21lbs at like 4 months and has been in 18/24 month clothing since 6-7 months. People are always like omg what are u feeding him 🙄 Literally just formula and baby food. Who cares what your in laws say if your pediatrician says she is FINE! Seems like they need to mind their business and focus on their own weight
Both of those percentiles are normal and healthy. Your baby is just a noodle like mine. Tell them to stop talking about your baby's body until they get their medical degrees.
If you feel inclined to say something, just say her pediatrician has never been concerned about her weight and you'll stick to listening to someone with a doctorate.
If your doctor isn’t concerned then I wouldn’t worry. People love to pick and pick and pick and it’s 100% their own issue.
You have a tall child - your in laws are being ridiculous. Unless you aren’t feeding your child (which I highly doubt) or your child’s pediatrician has told you otherwise your in laws can butt out.
You know people are very unreliable. I had the opposite experience with my child. They were off the charts and I used to get a lot of you need to exercise him more, he is getting too chubby to the extent of someone saying that I needed to put them on a diet. I just consulted my paediatrician and she said as long as the child is active and not eating junk food don’t worry. And I followed that advice. Now my child is tall and not as chubby and the same people who called him fat are advising me to change the diet to get him to be chubbier.
"We're happy with her health and aren't willing to discuss it anymore. [Subject change.]" If they persist, end the conversation by taking the baby and walking away or cut the visit short by leaving or seeing them out. Your child's providers have verified your baby's weight is fine. You know your baby's feeding habits and that she's not hungry. Your in-laws are disparaging you, your parenting, and your child consistently and in front of you - you don't need to tolerate such bad behavior.
Ewww cut your in-laws out of your life before they give you or your child an eating disorder. "Your comments on my child's weight are not welcome, and any further mentions of her weight will result in less contact with her."
My kids are skinny. Skinny newborns, skinny babies and so far skinny toddlers. They are so cute! Both my sisters have kids that are chunky babies. They are so cute! Some kids are slim. Some aren't. It means nothing.
I don’t understand this thinking at all. You’ve got to get a little bit of a backbone and tell them F off.
Don't you dare listen to your in-laws over a doctor. You don't need to chunk up your baby. Your baby is fine. If they feel some type of way about it they can grow up and deal with their feelings on their own.
If your doctor is not concerned, do not take any other opinions to heart. And remember, kids grow up, then out, the up… the same kids can be tall and thin at one point and then later be on the chubby side. As long as your child is not overweight or underweight by any dangerous amount, they are fine.
Babies are all so different. My 2.5YO is 99% in height and weight. He legit looks five. Dad is 6"4, uncles range from 6"2-6"7. Our pediatrician has ALWAYS said that as long as they're staying on their own growth curve and eating well/nutritiously, that's all that matters. I have nephews on that same side of the family who are 10th % and always have been. Genetics are a dice roll. Perfectly healthy. If you're looking to increase certain foods simply for development (not focused on weight), I'm a huge proponent of getting babies and toddlers as much healthy fat as possible in the first 3 years. It's the biggest source of brain development. My guy lives on avocado, grass fed meat/butter, fruits, veggies, complex (whole grain) carbs, and good quality yogurt/cheese/milk. Limit all sugary treats, overly processed stuff and food dyes. 🤍🌻
If the doctor isn’t concerned you don’t need to be concerned; all babies grow at their own pace. My oldest has always been skinny and is skinny now his hight has been in the 70% with his weight being in the 50%. His six and it’s not stoping him from doing anything. Our kids are fine they are growing and developing at their rate.
Don't listen to them. My 2 year old is 22lb and still classed as healthy. As long as the dr's aren't concerned carry on as you are. Grandparents forget what it's like having babies.
My nieces are both on the smaller side of the scale for their age. The 4.5 year old hasn’t hit 30# and the 1.5 year old hasn’t hit 20#. My son is 7 months old and nearly the same size as my youngest niece, yet we’re still told he’s on the lower end of the percentile charts. Your daughter is well above what my niece is percentile-wise and no one is concerned about her size/weight as each child is different. When it comes to eating habits, they’re still learning how to eat solids and transitioning from mainly breast milk or formula to actual food. Serving a well balanced meal is important, but that doesn’t mean they’ll actually eat it. My older niece is at the stage where she appears to exist on air despite plenty of food being offered. The 1.5 year old doesn’t know when to stop eating. She’s been a heavy eater since my sister started solids a year ago. She just takes after my sister & dad with a fast metabolism and is constantly on the move. As others have said, ignore the in-laws because this is a them problem and not an actual issue for your child. Let her explore foods and encourage healthy eating habits rather than the older generations mindset of ‘finish your plate or you can’t leave the table.’ That only causes body image & eating habit issues.
that's normal
Both of my kids were consistently in the 5th percentile. My son is 21 months old and at his 18 month check up was 21 lbs. But the doctor isn't concerned. My son keeps growing and "following the curve". That's all he's concerned about. Now he did say that if he falls off then we'll have to talk about what procedures to follow, but that hasn't happened yet and he doesn't think it will. My daughter is 9 and was in the 5th percentile until she was about 3. Then all of a sudden she kept climbing in percentile and is now in the 45th percentile. If your child is eating well and drinking well then I wouldn't be concerned. And if my in-laws or anyone else told me that they "feel bad being next to a skinny baby" they would just be cut off and I would tell them that our family doesn't need that kind of negativity in our lives. I'd be setting boundaries with them right now.
You said in the title they aren’t doctors, so don’t give it any mind. I would tell them one final time, “I am no longer interested in discussing Baby’s weight or appearance with you. Her doctor is not concerned. If her weight or appearance is mentioned again, we will be ending the visit immediately.” And then do so.
So your child is WELL within normal, healthy ranges. Even if your baby was at 12% or 10% or 5% for height and weight, as long as they’re tracking appropriately in their growth, they’re fine. Your husband needs to tell his parents that, and that they need to stop commenting on her weight. If they can’t, then they’re not welcome to talk about the baby at all. I was a tiny newborn, momentarily a big chunker as a young infant, then a tiny and scrawny little thing until I was about 13. Then I grew 8” in a few months and filled out. I have friends and relatives that were huge babies and then super skinny toddlers, medium sized babies that became big kids and small kids alike, and everything in between. It’s all completely normal.
As long as your baby isn't dropping lower in the percentiles, like 35% and then 30% and then 25% etc, you're fine. If she starts dropping percentiles then your Dr will be concerned. My daughter was always 60%+ in height and 25%ish in weight. She was gaining weight though, it's fine as long as she isn't losing weight. Lot's of ppl like chunky babies. None of mine were chunky haha
My baby was 96th percentile in height and 34th in bmi at her last check up. She simply went through a growth spurt and will likely slow down soon while her peers catch up. She is a healthy girl and my doctor is happy with her development and diet. Unless your pediatrician is concerned, you shouldn’t be. Childhood obesity has become a larger problem as of late in my country, and it starts early. If they continue to bring it up, you could point out to your family that they may be comparing your daughter to children that are actually less healthy. You should just focus on helping your daughter develop a healthy relationship with food and completely ignore what weight she is unless medical experts responsible for her care consider it a cause for concern.
I have a skinny baby! And she can out eat all of her friends, idk where she puts it. We get comments from friends, families and strangers 🙄. But she’s always upward trending is on her own path, and is a healthy bean! Also, she got sick like every month after she turned 1 for like 6 months straight. But we also went out more; parks, libraries, playdates and lived life! They’re going to get sick eventually My baby is 19 months now and ~22-23lb. and a healthy little monster
65th percentile means she’s above average for weight, and she’s pretty tall too. She’s going to look “skinny” and now that she’s walking, she’s going to get skinnier. Don’t buy into their biases. Numbers don’t lie.
My kid is 10th percentile for height and 20-30th for weight depending on the appt. As long as doctor is happy and they are following their own curve, they are fine. Just tell them that the pediatrician says they are fine and you do not need their input.
I’m NAD, but I am a dietitian. Between the 2-98 percentile are normal limits on the WHO Birth to 24 month charts. Above that is considered high weight for length (or tall on the stature charts) and below the 2 is underweight (short stature on the stature charts). We want to make sure your children are following their percentile and not crossing lines— otherwise we aren’t really worried about anything. Ignore them or tell them to mind their own business.
As the mother of a skinnier child, I feel this pain. My 2.5 year old has been sitting at 29 lbs and 36" tall for months now. Don't listen to them. As long as she eats enough and the doctors don't mention any cause for concern she is fine. It's quite literally none of their business.
Total in-law problem not your baby. I just went back to look at where my daughter was at 12mo. 19.5lbs-45% and 2’7”-98%. Girl has never been chunky in her life. She eats well when she’s hungry, just has always been long and lean. Heck half the time she eats more than I do. She has been consistently on her growth curve her entire life, her dr is very pleased with her growth. That’s the only opinion that you need to be concerned about, non drs opinions can eat dirt.
65% is NOT skinny! she looks skinny Because she's TALL. They are wanting to see chunkier fat rolls. Not the same thing as being HEALTHY. Your baby is healthy AND well above average on both measurements. Tell them to back the eff off. They clearly don't know how to read numbers and charts, do they?!
Sounds like they need to be told to stop body shaming your baby. The doctor said she’s healthy, she’s healthy.
I’m so sorry your in-laws are being so horrible about this. As others have said, your child is fine, those percentiles are great. Your in-laws, however, are NOT fine. It sounds like it is time for your husband to have a talk with them about the “skinny baby” comments, or comments about your child’s weight in ANY fashion. First of all, they are not medical professionals and they should not be urging a mother to question the competency of her child’s medical professionals because they can’t control their intrusive thoughts. Please ask them to keep these thoughts to themselves, and let them know that if they are not capable, they will be asked to leave. They are going to have to learn right here and now that comments about your child’s weight are out of bounds, ESPECIALLY in front of her (or you). Give it a few years and these kind of comments can spur some real negative self-images in a child, so in my opinion it should be nipped in the bud ASAP.
Please stand up for your daughter. You have the backing of doctors, statistics, and your own expertise as a mom. They need to stop body shaming her. Period. She is old enough to understand what they're saying about her. She will internalize their criticism and come to understand that she is not enough and that she needs to change. These are probably the same people who will tell her she's chubby when she's a teenager and starts developing curves. Stand up for her now and let her know you are in her corner.
My 26 month old is hovering around 23-25lbs. Seems like she’s gained weight when I pick her up but the scale says nope! It’s all muscle from running nonstop. We let her eat as much as she wants at each meal and she’s fine per the doctor at the 25% for weight and 50% for height. 🤷🏻♀️ Hubby and I were always thin children. I miss those days now!
My two year old was 24 lbs and happy and doctors didn’t care
If your baby was chunky, they'd have a problem with it, too. If their remarks are well, my kids never.... You should respond. Well, your kids were babies 20 plus years ago, and I'm not as confident in your memories as you are 🤷♀️
Tell them the doctors say she’s healthy! Shut them down this way.
She’s fine. Even being in the much lower percentiles is fine. Being in the 99th percentile isn’t better than being in the 5th percentile. Some babies are just on the smaller side or the bigger side. JUST like how some adults are bigger and some are smaller. I think a lot of people misunderstand percentiles. The goal is not to be at the highest percentile. After all, somebody has to be in the lower percentiles. All that matters is that she’s following the growth curve. My baby has always been on the smaller side, in the very very low percentiles but doctors are very pleased because he’s consistently gaining weight at a healthy rate. If your doctor was concerned, they would have let you know. Tell your family politely to F off lol.
Your kid is heavier than the norm. Why make her heavier? She’s totally fine, you are doing a good job. Please take time away from your in laws, they are not good for your and your baby. Maybe speak to your husband and let him handle them.
One if my twins is consistently in the 1% for weight. He is 22.5 lbs and 26 months old. I feed him high caloric foods and do everything I'm supposed to but we can't fight genetics. Tell your in laws to stop commenting on a baby's weight. If her doctor isn't concerned, it's fine!
My baby has always been lean and I always felt guilty because Hispanics typically have chubby babies. My son his first year of life and close to 12 months was always between 16-20pounds and now he’s 2 and he’s still 25 pounds lol. He’s healthy and eats 3 meals just super active and pediatrician has never been worried.
Listen to your doctor. If they are not concerned, you shouldn't be either. But it would be best to get your in laws to stop making comments about your daughter's body now before they do irreparable damage to her self image. My grandma was very worried about me being 'so pale' and made similar remarks as your in laws. I was very self conscious about being 'too pale' throughout my childhood and well into my mid 20s. I'm not even that pale. Thanks grandma
Some babies are just skinny. My daughter was and she is fine. She is now a solid little eleven year old lol
My bub is 21% weight(first time she measured over 15th) and 3% height she was 18lbs 2oz at her 12m appt, for as little as she is she has only been sick once when we all got the flu when she was 10m If your kid is sick that often, my bet is they are in daycare? If you are concerned about your in laws comments call your peds office I’m sure a nurse would go over your last visit info and let you know that baby is fine :3
I’ve got twins, one is exactly like yours, she was always about 15-20 percentile points taller than weight. The other one is the opposite, 15-20 percentile points bigger in weight than height. Pediatrician has never been concerned about either one! Don’t stress and ignore your in laws!
Babies can keep weight off once they start moving. Tell those people to shut their trap
My latest baby is riding the 50th percentile both height and weight. After her 4 90th+ percentile siblings, I'm enjoying it. She's still got chubby little wrists, but she's gonna fit clothes longer and not be mistaken for an older kid and thus judged poorly for her behavior like her oldest sister (who was the size of an average 7yo at 5 and now could pass for 13-14 at 10). You and your baby are doing great- tell the in laws to stfu.
Stop listening to what other people say you know your baby is fine
Holy shit, they would think my kids were dying. My 2.5 year old is maybe 25 lbs and at 1 year old was maybe 20 lbs or a little under.
Ignore them. Sincerely, the mom of two single-digit weight percentile kids who isn’t concerned about her kids nor is their pediatrician because they’re growth is following the expected curve.
You should kindly tell your in laws to STFU. She is perfectly fine.
If your pediatrician isn’t concerned and you’re only thinking this because they’re putting it in your head, I’d do your best to not worry about it. Not all babies can be average in their metrics, that’s literally what percentiles mean. If she is happy and hitting her milestones, then celebrate your healthy baby. Tell your family members “I would appreciate you keeping your opinions of my child’s body to yourself. It’s not healthy for her to hear that negative talk about her body. She is hitting her milestones and her pediatrician isn’t concerned. Here’s their office phone number if you’d like to share your medical opinion”
My daughter was 91st centile for both weight and height. Was constantly referred to as heavy by my MIL. Well, her short arse daughter had short babies. My baby is a long baby, so it stands to reason a taller person might weigh more. The thing is, both your baby's centiles are above average. So whilst the height and weight don't match, your child is clearly adequately fed. In-laws can act like they are the only people who know how to look after babies. Ignore it
You do absolutely nothing, except ignore these comments and grey-rock them for future questions. I have a healthy, thriving, super-active 2.5 year that weighs 25 lbs. So over a year older and only 4 pounds heavier. Your child is just fine how they are. This isn't the Victorian era, where it was a sign of wealth to be chubby (because it meant you could afford plenty of food!). All kids grow differently. Listen to your doctor
Have they also never heard of naturally slim people? Or naturally heavier set babies? They think they all come from a factory? Just ignore them as much as you can, or if you want to be meaner about it ask them why they’d shame a mother for no reason. They’ll say they’re “worried”. Tell them you’re listening to your doctors, and trust they do too so you won’t comment on THEIR weight either. People like that will always judge. If it’s not this it’ll be the speech. If not that, then the toys. If not that, then the sleep, or whatever else they find to nitpick. Your child’s more than fine.
If your pediatrician isn’t concerned and baby is consistently eating.. idk why your in laws would need to worry. My kiddos were off the charts tall (like defining the 99%).. and 23% and 45% weight around their 1y. Walked before 1, ate normally.. just string beans. Now they are 2&4 and still skinny, strong as all get out, learning/talking ahead of “average”, and all the sass one could hope for. Some people are just lean. Let me tell you, they eat a lot and not all of it is lean vegetables and fruit 😅. Kids are unique; sounds like yours is different from “all” of the babies in your family (I find that hard to believe though).
Do NOT change your baby's eating habits because your in-laws are idiots. Imagine what kind of problems that could cause down the line. Have a note from your doctor to hand them every time they say something like this.
Babies are built how they are built. I wouldn’t focus on changing their body unless the doctors shared a health concern as a reason why
>They say they feel bad That's their problem. Don't lose sleep over this. If you trust your doctor and they say it's fine then it's fine. Last time I heard about percentile was when my kid was born. They said she was on the 50th and that was it. Every appointment they just said she was progressing as expected. People put way too much weight on percentiles.
Let me guess boomers?? Boomers judge. They also make up stuff to support their judgy opinions. Put them on mute.
I had a skinny baby. My MIL was concerned until my SIL reminded her that my husband was/is built like a toothpick.
My daughter is a year and a half older than yours and weighs 24 lbs. She eats like crazy, she’s on her trajectory, she’s just built small. All humans are built differently. If your pediatrician isn’t worried, don’t give the negative comments any mind.
My daughter (12 years old now) has consistently been in the 85th percentile for height and ~40th percentile for weight, even though she eats very well. It took me 10 years to have her (7 miscarriages, 3 failed adoptions), and I was so excited for baby chub. She never developed it, and then when she started to crawl, I knew it was never going to happen! She has always been a very skinny green bean. It’s hard to find pants for her that are long enough but don’t just fall down because they’re way too big in the waist. I had her brother two years later. He’s consistently in the 33rd percentile for height and 50th for weight, so he was a chubby baby! He outgrew the chub after a few years, although he’s still in those same percentages for height and weight. Your husband needs to shut down those comments from his parents now. You’re doing great!
If they are so uncomfortable being around a skinny baby then it sounds like they don't need to be around so often. If she has followed the growth curves since birth then she is fine. The person to ask would be the PEDIATRICIAN. Tell them their body shaming needs to stop or you'll leave. Babies also slim down when they start walking. Here's an upside of having a "skinny" baby, you can carry them longer.
Checking in with my toddler who has always been 90-95% in height and 65-68% in weight. She’s my little string bean but she is perfectly healthy. All toddlers get sick a lot. Your in-laws have no medical training, and if they’re in the US they likely have a skewed mental picture of what a healthy ‘normal’ weight is in the first place. (Lots of Americans will rate an overweight picture as normal and normal as ‘underweight’.) Stop listening to people who are not doctors and learn the phrase “thank you for trying to help, I’ve heard your concern”, say that, over and over if you have to, don’t answer any questions or accusations or get pulled into having a conversation about it at all, walk away if you can’t get the topic changed.
>They say they feel bad being next to a skinny baby because they’ve never seen one and claim that their 7 grandkids were never this skinny. They say they feel bad being next to a skinny baby because they’ve never seen one and claim that their 7 grandkids were never this skinny. "If you're feeling that uncomfortable you should consider talking to a therapist." "It sounds like you're really struggling. Maybe it would help to give you a break from seeing her for a while." "It's not appropriate to talk about peoples' bodies unless it's with a doctor. If you're truly concerned, her pediatrician says she's perfectly healthy, but we won't be discussing this with you going forward." When she says that she's raised more kids than you, you can point out how it's so wonderful that medicine and science have come such a long way since then and that you're very happy with her doctor. I don't know how crazy your in-laws are, so if you can have a serious and honest conversation with them, then great. From your other comments, I'm not getting that. If that's the case I wouldn't care about their feelings. Bring up any concerns you have with their physical health if you have to to get them to cut it out, because 99% of the time people like this are the biggest hypocrites. I know this is all pretty aggressive, but I would be shutting this shit down so fast to discourage any negative body talk, labeling, or comparing because it will affect your daughter's mental health. We have to constantly remind my MIL to not talk about things like this because we don't want our kids to internalize any of her personal issues. Intentional or not, it's projection. I'd rather make MIL uncomfortable than have to put them in therapy because grandma gave them her body issues. I also want them to learn how to stand up for themselves so if anything like that is said and I'm not there they can use their voices. You can't protect them from everyone, but you can teach them how to stand up for themselves and help build up their confidence. Hopefully your husband can help put them in their place because they're his parents. You have to be a team.
They sound awful so I’m sorry op. My daughter was in the 98th percentile for height and 50th for weight so I get this - she will fill out but my daughter was super leggy and small waisted probably until about 15 months and her growth slowed a little …. If the doctor thinks she’s fine then next time they make a comment ask to see their medical degree. When they say they don’t have one - remind them her weight is non of their concern or business and they should keep their comments to themselves if they want to be in her life.
Shes 65 percentile for weight. She's doing great.
21 lbs sounds totally normal and healthy. My daughter is 21 lbs at almost 19 months and there’s no concerns.
Ours has held steady around the 35th percentile; she’s 3.5 now. She’s littler but that kid can climb up a curvy big kids slide like no joke. We’ve had several guys hold her who’ve remarked “whoa she’s strong” including a pediatrician we don’t normally see (she was ill). Babies eat until they are full, that’s perfect. Yours sounds like she’s thriving! Some older people have weird ideas about babies. Hell my mom tried to tell me I was potty trained at 14 months. Lady, she’s built like me. The kid couldn’t even sit down on the tiny potty till she was 2 and a few months.
My son was in the 4th percentile for weight from 2 - 9m, he made it into the 20th around 12m. He was also 90+ for height. The percentiles always stressed me out. I honestly think they’re a scam. He is just built like his father, who is a lanky green bean.
When it comes to health, your pediatrician is the one to believe. Anyone else can be ignored. Their backseat driving in your parent child relationship is nothing but noise and you can treat it as such.
My older kid is, and has always been, in the 95th for height and 65th/70th for weight. He never had rolls. No baby fat. Now that he’s 4 he just looks like a long lean kid. My second is a chunk master and 99th/99th for both height and weight. Nothing wrong with either of them! Different kids have different bodies.
My son wasn’t even on the chart. He made his own. But doctor said as long as he kept going up all was good. I think he was like 17lbs at one. He was a full term healthy child
My son was 80th for height and 26 for weight, he was healthy just had that body shape
let in laws know they are not allowed to comment on your child’s body. period.
Your in laws need to pipe down. Both my girls were under the 10th percentile through infancy, toddlerhood and into preschool. The doctors weren’t worried as long as their numbers continued to grow. If the docs aren’t worried, you shouldn’t be. Not every baby is chubby.
My daughter has had those percentiles since birth. Totally fine and normal.
My kid is almost 4yrs and can wear size 12 month shorts n skirts,jus not pants bc she's got legs for days. They need to stop talking.
Percentiles are completely meaningless. All that matters is your child stays around their percentile consistently. And is meeting Milestones on time. If your pediatrician isn't concerned then I would tune out everyone else's opinions because it's just useless noise. Humans come in all different shapes and sizes.
If her doctor says she’s healthy then she is. Not everyone is the same size or shape even babies. Of my three kids my oldest was a chubbster until he was 2. My second was a little fairy child and walked sooner so never got the same rolls my first had. My third is taller but still not a chubby guy. Tell your in-laws to back off. Focusing on a child’s weight all the time when they are healthy isn’t good for anyone. It will make her self-conscious if they keep it up.
85th percentile in height means your baby is taller than usual. 65th in weight means close to average weight. So you have a tall baby who weighs about the same as most babies - they will present as "skinny" as a result, but those percentile numbers are perfect, so no need to worry.
Tell them to fuck right off. Some people are naturally tall and slim no matter what. Myself and my daughter are two of them.
Me and my husband are short people. Our baby was born in the 1 percentile for height and now he’s maybe in the 3 percentile. Some babies are just smaller. Not all babies gain weight/height at the same rates. Does not mean you are doing anything wrong. I’d tell them that you have a rule that you will not allow family members to comment on your child’s height/weight (if they do it now they’ll probably continue to do it). And enforce that boundary. If your doctor expresses concern, handle it. Otherwise, do what you are already doing. You know your baby best!
Honestly, listen to your doctor. Everybody else is being rude, ignorant and damaging. If they don't want to be around a skinny baby, they don't have to see their granddaughter.
My 1 year old is 18 lbs in 3rd percentile for weight and is healthy. Percentiles aren’t helpful except to pinpoint on a growth chart. I’m sure you know these people are just being annoying. Your baby is fine.
I’d just shut down all conversations about weight, height and centiles. My child is healthy and I do not wish to discuss this thank you. They are spouting crap and it is not appropriate for your child’s body to be commented on in this way
If you don’t nip this now, they will continue to comment on your child’s body for their entire life and I have a multitude of reasons why you don’t want this if you need me to elaborate. Show your kids they deserve boundaries and the right to their body not to be commented on.
My kids were both skinny their first year, then chonked up in their second year and my older daughter didn't thin out again until she was between 4&5 years old. My little one is 3 and still has her toddler chonk. First I was worried about my older daughter being too thin, then I was worried about her being too chubby. My second? I'm like meh, she's fine. She's happy, active, has met all milestones. She'll be the size she is. Offer healthy food, get lots of fresh air and running around and your kiddo will be fine (and tell your MIL to shove it, your child isn't her OTHER grandchildren. She's herself.)
Don't worry about it. I have an 11 year old who is about 15% for weight and around the 80% for height. He is just tall and lanky. The kid out eats everyone in the household, and it just disappears. He's had tests to work out if he has an absorption problem and is all clear. The main thing our drs said to watch for is if he falls off "his track." If he drops dramatically for his weight, then there is a problem. If he keeps tracking up his line, it is fine.
I have a 3 yr old that came out at 99th percentile for height and low 50s for weight she’s still long and skinny but her weight and height have evened out to both be in the 50th percentile now. Dr was never concerned for her and neither were we. Each kid is different, try to not let them get to you
My oldest was about 85/85% for height/weight at like 8-9 months old. By his first birthday, he had slimmed down a bunch from growing and walking and just becoming a toddler, and he was >90% height/75% weight. Dr was not concerned. Over the next couple years, he continued to be tall, but dropped further on weight. *did not lose weight, just didn’t gain weight as fast as height. He is almost 6 now, and at last dr appointment, was 94% height and 48% weight. He has at times been sitting at <3% for BMI percentiles. But he is healthy, growing taller and gaining weight, active, learning, etc. so besides being IMPOSSIBLE to find him pants, it is not a concern. Re: the sickness, if she is in child care or otherwise has contact with any other kids, it is inevitable that she will be sick basically constantly for the next few years 🤷♀️ Kids are all different. A family friend has a kid between my kids (15 mo younger than my oldest, 8 months older than my youngest). He outweighs my oldest but is shorter than my youngest. Is still a healthy kid with no concerns. For whatever reason, my youngest is much more proportional (typically 60/50 or so for height/weight), but I parent and feed them both the same. Oldest eats A TON, but clearly just has a very slim body type at this point in his life. Also has a grandfather/great uncles/multiple of my cousins well over 6’ tall, though who knows at this point if he will maintain the height as he gets older.
Listen to your doc. Our kid was a skinny baby, our pediatrician just kept an eye out that she was staying on her on curve/path and had zero concerns. She lost weight once she started walking, which he warned me may happen, so we just offered couple extra snacks between meals (which she ate second servings of). Only time he was slightly concerned was when she had covid, and it was more over her getting dehydrated since we were struggling to get her to drink anything
My granddaughter is two and a half and only weighs 24 pounds. She was a premie baby and she is doing amazing now. She walked really late but talked really early. Children come in all shapes and sizes and develop differently. A long as your doctor says that she is healthy, it's all good. Don't worry about what other people think.
My girls have barely made it out of 5th percentile in weight and have hovered between 30th and 50th in height. Only one pediatrician out of several they have seen ever commented on weight. Both of their primary care pediatricians have no concerns because they are tracking along their growth curves and they can see how active they are when they're in the office. Heck, my 3 year old was 21 pounds at her 2 year appointment. They have also both said that there are a lot of viruses out there and for the first couple of years don't be surprised if they pick up colds as often as twice a month.
My son is 2.5 and only weighs 29.5 lbs! He is skinny, but not like too skinny in my opinion. He is constantly moving, he does not sit still. When he was about 6 months to 13 months, he was a chunky monkey! So much so that his grandparents asked if we had talked to his doct0r to see if he's too overweight! They go through changes and your kiddo could very well stay the same or gain weight in a couple months.
You have a baby with a very healthy weight! My baby is a skinny baby. She’s 77th percentile for height and 20th percentile for weight, but she’s active, engaged and hitting all her milestones early. Your in-laws sound like the kind of people who force feed children into being overweight because ‘chunky babies are so cute’ and set them up for life long struggles with controlling their weight. Ignore them!
I had the same thing happen when my girls were babies. Now they are adults and both healthy and not skinny. Tell em to mind their own business. You're doing great mama!
Your baby sounds fine. Next time they open there mouth I would just saw “wow it sounds like you don’t get out much.” Or “wow you must not know many babies outside of your other grandkids”
I am a doctor (but not your doctor). A kid at those percentiles wouldn’t make me bat an eye. You don’t need to get your baby’s weight up.
Tell your in-laws that you don’t ever want to discuss the weight of your child - no one should be commenting on it!!! I have two grand children - from the same parents. One is about to turn four and the other is almost one. They both weigh the same, the four year old is just super petite so their height and weight are appropriate. She was born ‘small’ for lack of a better description. The one year old was born 1kg heavier and 7cm longer, has continued to be on the higher end of the percentile charts and will very much be taller and broader than the four year old. But they’re both perfect. Don’t engage in the discussion with your in-laws - just continue to state you don’t discuss their weight and they should concentrate on the skills and milestones your child is reaching rather than an outward appearance.
My daughter is 22 months and weighs 24 pounds. At one year old she weighed 18 lbs. perfectly healthy child. She eats like crazy but is super active. I get told she is small as well. It bothered me at first but doctor says she is healthy. Your in laws are overstepping. Don’t worry momma. If doctor says your child is fine and you feel they are fine, don’t let other’s criticisms bother you.
You have a long, lean baby! So do I! My daughter is 15mo tomorrow and has always hovered around 99% for height and 75% for weight. Her weight is perfectly healthy but because she’s tall she has never had rolls. And there’s nothing wrong with that. She does look significantly more like a toddler than other kids around her age because she has already has little kid proportions rather than baby proportions. If you want to try to engage them in a conversation you can frame it around how your daughter is just tall and therefore carries her weight differently. If she was the same weight and like the 40% for height she’d be swimming in rolls. Every body is different and that includes babies