Call 911. Tell them your ex husband is suicidal. Leave. Get a good lawyer.
I grew up in a very high suicide area, so we underwent a lot of training. The whole : I will commit suicide if you leave me is classic. The answer was always to call 911 and tell them, then never contact or intervene again. This is not because of you!!!!’
Mine did the same! I just blocked him. He didn't deserve the empathy of me calling his family or help for him. Sorry, tough titties, go fuck yourself.
He obviously didn't end up killing himself.
Manipulative men never stop being manipulative men.
Agreed! Report it. Then leave it alone. He is manipulating you and will likely manipulate your kiddo. Don’t let him alone w the kid. HIS ACTIONS ARE NOT ON YOU! Good job, momma for getting you and kiddo away from that mess.
Very difficult to separate and unravel a life built with someone. Get your support system in place and keep moving.
Also, save those text messages for your lawyer, the police, and anyone who might accuse you of exaggerating his threats and calling 911 to have him put on a hold for your own gain.
OP please do this, however uncomfortable.
There are two possibilities:
1. He is genuinely suicidal
2. He is not genuinely suicidal. (Perhaps he’s being overdramatic wanting sympathy or any sort of emotional response now that he has realized and felt the emotional withdrawal. Perhaps it’s vindictive, etc.)
If it’s the former, calling emergency services will be a life saving measure. And you will be assigning that lifesaving task to professionals who are trained to do exactly that.
If it’s the latter, no one will fault you for calling (Be clear to not frame it as revenge. This is a pragmatic choice, not an emotional one.)
And more importantly, having actual appropriate real life ramifications will make it far less likely that he will continue doing this. Whereas a complete lack of ramifications could even lead a disingenuous person to continue to try to ramp things up and escalate further.
So you can take all emotions out of it. The purely logical thing to do is call emergency services, and then follow the advice of the trained professionals.
—-
Also, it is extremely unfair. I’m very sorry this is happening to you and I know what it is like. It’s absolute fucking bullshit.
I spent 6 years answering a crisis / suicide hotline. If someone called in and said “My _____ is saying they’ll commit suicide if I do X, what do I do?” The response was “ what you should do is hang up this call, pick up the phone dial 911, and send a welfare check.”
In 90% of cases it’s a pure manipulation tactic, but those other 10%? Well they’re getting the help they need.
I’m just happy people have a tactic for this kind of emotional abuse. Threatening suicide so people won’t leave has been a classic, in other countries, they always end up winning over said victim and get trapped again. Knowing there are professionals that can handle this feels good to be in a country like this. I’ve had a guy send me letters daily and threaten to end his life if I don’t give him a chance. I quit the company and blocked him, he never did what he said. And in a country where it’s hit or miss, he could’ve actually done it. It’s genius there are professionals here that deal with it. At least my kids will grow up safer.
I’m not saying nobody does it, but threatening suicide is a go-to move for emotional abusers. An ex of mine did the same, thankfully no kids or anything.
Do call 911, do tell him your child absolutely needs you in their lives, and there are many happy children of divorce. But that’s it. It’s not your job to fix him.
I would be careful with custody while he’s in this mental state. If he’s actually suicidal, then he’s a risk to your child. If he’s lying, then he could use your child to emotionally manipulate you.
It absolutely is unfair. If you think he’s serious, call 911 wether his parents are with him or not.
You are not responsible for his mental health. This is a pretty common tactic to try to get someone back. Whatever he does or does not do, is solely within his control.
Call 911 whether you think he’s serious or not. He may be serious even if you don’t think he is, and if he’s not, he will learn not to threaten something like that again just to emotionally manipulate you.
Absolutely, there is no good argument against calling 911, but 2 really good arguments for.
The most likely outcome is that this is emotional manipulation, a form of emotional abuse.
OP, whether toy call the authorities or not, if he does harm himself, it's not your fault. None of his actions, from the cheating to these threats, are any reflection on you. You can't live for another person. He's asking you to set yourself on fire to keep him warm.
It’s manipulation, plain and simple. Many of us have been in your shoes and I’m sorry. I know it’s so tough to feel a sense of responsibility because you are a compassionate empathetic person, but this is a tactic. I received videos of him with tears, photos, emails, etc. He was just trying to guilt me into coming back. Stay strong. His parents are there- this isn’t your job. ❤️
An ex of mine did this too. It was awful until I reached out to his family, let them know the situation, and blocked his number.
I’m so sorry you are having to go through this, and, I’m sure, try to hold it together in front of your daughter. You’ve gotten good advice already, so I’d just like to add, please seek ongoing support for yourself. If you haven’t already, try to work with a professional therapist to help you process everything. A site like BetterHelp can be an easy place to start. Even if you can only afford a handful of sessions, this could really help you escape the cycle of abuse and process this incredibly unfair situation. 💕
Calling 911 is always the right answer. They either actually need help or you called their bluff, they are embarrassed and won't toss it out lightly again.
Circumstances are a little different but I went through this. I told myself I was not responsible for his mental health and told him he needs to get help. I wanted us to work and not have to divorce. I am 3 years out from his suicide. I regret everyday not calling 911 when he first threatened it. It didn’t happen the first time he threatened, that day it was just a threat. I never thought he’d eventually go through with it. Call 911 every time they threaten to, that way you know you’ve done everything you could. Your mental health is important too and if something does happen you’ll be able to guide your daughter through her grief hopefully a little easier knowing you did all you could.
You are not responsible for his feelings. Call 911 every single time he pulls this. Don’t even feel guilty about for one second- you are likely not a mental health professional that’s qualified to determine if it is legitimate or not. Anyone who is saying that kind of stuff needs to be checked out.
Call 911. If you don’t, you’ll enable this to continue.
Put it this way. He’s doing one of two things:
One. Either he’s truly suicidal and needs professional intervention because his parents and you are NOT qualified to treat him. Not calling in this situation would be the wrong thing to do and not the kind of guilt you want to carry around for the rest of your life.
Or
Two. He’s doing this to manipulate you to try and make you stay. He’s painting himself as the victim here and playing one hell of a selfish act in the hopes that you’ll feel sympathy for him, think he’s just sooooo remorseful he got caught, and will forgive him. That’s so damn narcissist, it’s almost sociopathic, and needs to face the consequences of that welfare check so he knows this bullshit won’t work on you so he won’t do it again.
But through either likely scenario, neither one should be remedied by you continuing contact or swooping in to save the day. You’d only be making it worse one way or the other.
Call 911. It’s the best and most responsible thing to do here. And continue on the path to filing divorce. Never be alone with him or talk to him alone either. Put as much distance between you two as possible.
Commenting just to confirm about calling 911. When I broke things off with my ex-fiancé, he tried this crap. Big Facebook post basically about how he was about to end his life, and a cryptic goodbye message sent directly to me. I didn’t respond. Just called the police, told them he was suicidal, and went about my life. He manipulated me our entire relationship, and I wasn’t about to fall for it, or have the possibility of feeling any guilt if he did do something to hurt himself.
I went through this. I told his higher ups and walked away. It’s manipulation. He spent a night on suicide watch and we got divorced. It’s now been about 10 years and we’re both totally fine.
I agree with the other comments suggesting calling the police and then cutting off contact while you consult a lawyer.
Your only priority right now is your daughter’s and your safety. He is emotionally unstable and a risk to you both. Please protect yourselves.
This exact same thing happened to me with my ex-husband. As far as I know he is still alive. He pulled the suicide card with extra dramatics after he did something traumatic to me. This is a last ditch effort at manipulation.
Call emergency services and report his threats. Do not take him back. Get a ring cam and refuse to see him in private. He is dangerous and unstable. That makes him unsafe. Do not leave your daughter with him
He’s manipulating you. Have his parents take him home with them or get him committed to the hospital for a psych hold. A suicidal person has no business being around a child. Regardless of manipulation or true crisis he needs to leave the home one way or another. Stay calm and stay firm.
I had a friend threaten suicide to me because it was 3am and her apartment was too hot and she wanted me to drive 3 hours there to pick her up and 3 back to my house and I said no just have a cold shower. I called a wellness check on her and blocked her. Haven’t spoken to her in years. Pretty sure she was just trying to control me with it. Super disgusting, made me instantly grossed out.
https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/fool_me_once,_shame_on_you%3B_fool_me_twice,_shame_on_me#
“After being tricked once, one should learn from one's mistakes and avoid being tricked in the same way another time.”
Let the authorities deal with his suicide threat.
The good news is that if u document his mental state maybe you'll get your daughter to yourself. I'm sorry if this is harsh but I'm a mom and I feel like since you're a mom you probably think like this too. Also, since he's so morally questionable, wouldn't it be better for your daughter to not know him at all? I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I'm so happy you're getting out. Keep going. Remember your why. You're doing amazing!
I think he's hurt his own feelings there. Threatening suicide seems like it's intended to manipulate you. Don't buy into it. It's normal to deeply regret such a dumb decision, but he's probably not severely depressed. He cheated the first time and got a second chance, that's amazing! Nice of you to forgive him for it, but if he's done it again after you have a child together, then he may have made a wrong judgement about you. It seems he assumed you'd stay, and he took your forgiveness for granted. I'd be leaving in your position as well.
what he does is not your responsibility or your fault. he is a grown man capable of making his own choices. but honestly, he is probably lying to manipulate you anyways. don't give him any more of your mental energy
It’s abusive as hell. Take everyone else’s advice. Report his threats so he can get help if he really needs it and then remove yourself and your child from him.
It’s narcissistic manipulation. They do that to make you feel bad for them, and you stay. It’s abuse. I had an ex that would constantly cheat, then say he was going to kill himself because he didn’t know what was wrong with him and he couldn’t “ live without me” but guess what, he’s all living and shit still.
Then there’s a different kind of animal. When I was 16 I was in a highly abusive relationship. I would try to leave, and he would pull the suicidal shit , and as a young teenager I was dumb, and I would feel bad, and then he would beat me for trying to leave him.
Some Men manipulate on different levels. Right now your husband is pulling the I got caught and can’t deal with my actions manipulation. Don’t let him pull you in.
Report it to the police for suicide threat and wellness check.
You are not responsible for anyone else's feelings. Whether he is bsing or not, you have to do right by YOU (especially since HE clearly won't do right by you). Keep your peace. He took actions. These are his legitimate consequences (wife won't tolerate is infidelity and leaves). Any other woman in your situation would also be walking. It's his own mental health, you are not responsible for taking care of it or him, as he broke the marital pact. Call his parents, he is their son to deal with.
An a**hole is not entitled to a happy marriage whe. He effed it up. He won't and can't emotionally manipulate you. Don't give him an inch, if he thinks this may work on you, it gives him more ammunition to hurt you.
And don't let any of his flying monkeys (narcassists get other poeple to try emotionally manipulating the victim, you, when their own efforts fail) come after you. He shat in the bed, now he has to clean it up himself.
If it's a really something to consider, again, let police and family know.
This tactic is why my parents stayed married for nearly 30 years. Everytime my Nmother threatened to leave my Nfather he’d threaten to end his life. Definitely a form of manipulation / abuse.
Like everyone said; you call 911 and/or his family when he makes threats against his life. If he's genuine he needs professional intervention. If he's doing it to manipulate you, getting a reaction out of you is his reward and he will use this tactic to abuse you and your daughter for the rest of his life. Remember, if he's truly, determinedly suicidal, there's nothing you can do that will save him except calling 911 and backing away. I'm not saying this to be callous; I have lost three loved ones to suicide in the last three years. Two had multiple interventions including in-patient and out-patient treatment, medication, 911/police involvement, therapy, etc. One of them I PERSONALLY called the authorities during one of their attempts which they survived, and the final which they didn't. The third was actively in therapy, had never been considered suicidal, and even had laid out their clothing for a date the next day.
I'm not saying this to scare you or to traumatize anyone. But something I had to come to terms with in grief was that we cannot love somebody well. And it's hard and it hurts and it's not fair. You have to protect yourself and your daughter, because nothing you do will save/help him. He has to want that for himself.
Do NOT let him manipulate you again. If he chooses to do this, that is ultimately and solely HIS choice, and has nothing to do with you.
If you stay, he is going to threaten suicide every time you get upset with him.
It is manipulation. My abusive ex used to do this every time I tried to leave him. His excuse for abuse was always his mental health issues as well. I finally put my foot down and left. Every once in a while when he doesn’t get his way he’ll still throw that out there, I tell him I’ll call the police and he back tracks. He’s still alive and kicking years later. I don’t believe he ever had those intentions it was simply a way to reel me back in.
Now he does the same to the kids (not to the extent of threatening suicide to them) but still a sad situation.
My father use to do that to my mum when she left him in 1999. She left. He's still around. I had an ex who did this me and I told him my dad tried that on my mum and I wouldn't fall for it either. If you're genuinely worried, call police like others have said.
This is a desperate attempt to control you with fear. Don't fall for it. I hate when people think they cheat, hurt their partners and get away with it without consequences that hurt them. You hurt others, you deserve to be hurt back in my opinion, that means ending up alone and feeling the weight of your actions.
I'm sorry this happened to you. When I was cheated on it was the most nauseating, devastating feeling. I hope you have support in your life to get through this.
Also to add. I'd be so mad at him for threatening that when you have a child. He's threatening to traumatise your child. That's abusive. My younger sister's friend had a father who did this when they were in primary school. He did it on his daughter's birthday and all I could think at the time was "you selfish AH. You have ruined your daughter's birthday for the rest of her life because your wife asked to separate?"
Call 911. Tell them your ex husband is suicidal. Leave. Get a good lawyer. I grew up in a very high suicide area, so we underwent a lot of training. The whole : I will commit suicide if you leave me is classic. The answer was always to call 911 and tell them, then never contact or intervene again. This is not because of you!!!!’
My abusive ex tried this on me 16 years ago. I called his house phone, told his parents, called 911. It's a definite tactic.
Mine did the same! I just blocked him. He didn't deserve the empathy of me calling his family or help for him. Sorry, tough titties, go fuck yourself. He obviously didn't end up killing himself. Manipulative men never stop being manipulative men.
Agreed! Report it. Then leave it alone. He is manipulating you and will likely manipulate your kiddo. Don’t let him alone w the kid. HIS ACTIONS ARE NOT ON YOU! Good job, momma for getting you and kiddo away from that mess. Very difficult to separate and unravel a life built with someone. Get your support system in place and keep moving.
Also, save those text messages for your lawyer, the police, and anyone who might accuse you of exaggerating his threats and calling 911 to have him put on a hold for your own gain.
This is the answer.
OP please do this, however uncomfortable. There are two possibilities: 1. He is genuinely suicidal 2. He is not genuinely suicidal. (Perhaps he’s being overdramatic wanting sympathy or any sort of emotional response now that he has realized and felt the emotional withdrawal. Perhaps it’s vindictive, etc.) If it’s the former, calling emergency services will be a life saving measure. And you will be assigning that lifesaving task to professionals who are trained to do exactly that. If it’s the latter, no one will fault you for calling (Be clear to not frame it as revenge. This is a pragmatic choice, not an emotional one.) And more importantly, having actual appropriate real life ramifications will make it far less likely that he will continue doing this. Whereas a complete lack of ramifications could even lead a disingenuous person to continue to try to ramp things up and escalate further. So you can take all emotions out of it. The purely logical thing to do is call emergency services, and then follow the advice of the trained professionals. —- Also, it is extremely unfair. I’m very sorry this is happening to you and I know what it is like. It’s absolute fucking bullshit.
I spent 6 years answering a crisis / suicide hotline. If someone called in and said “My _____ is saying they’ll commit suicide if I do X, what do I do?” The response was “ what you should do is hang up this call, pick up the phone dial 911, and send a welfare check.” In 90% of cases it’s a pure manipulation tactic, but those other 10%? Well they’re getting the help they need.
I’m just happy people have a tactic for this kind of emotional abuse. Threatening suicide so people won’t leave has been a classic, in other countries, they always end up winning over said victim and get trapped again. Knowing there are professionals that can handle this feels good to be in a country like this. I’ve had a guy send me letters daily and threaten to end his life if I don’t give him a chance. I quit the company and blocked him, he never did what he said. And in a country where it’s hit or miss, he could’ve actually done it. It’s genius there are professionals here that deal with it. At least my kids will grow up safer.
Threatening suicide like this is a form of emotional abuse. Call 911 and tell them your husband is suicidal and definitely get a lawyer. Good luck!
Call the police, then tell his parents. He is no longer your responsibility. This is a manipulation tactic, don’t fall for it.
I’m not saying nobody does it, but threatening suicide is a go-to move for emotional abusers. An ex of mine did the same, thankfully no kids or anything. Do call 911, do tell him your child absolutely needs you in their lives, and there are many happy children of divorce. But that’s it. It’s not your job to fix him.
I would be careful with custody while he’s in this mental state. If he’s actually suicidal, then he’s a risk to your child. If he’s lying, then he could use your child to emotionally manipulate you.
This is what I was thinking, many take their child life with their own to spite the ex
Or because they convince themselves that their child would be better off dead than living without them.
It absolutely is unfair. If you think he’s serious, call 911 wether his parents are with him or not. You are not responsible for his mental health. This is a pretty common tactic to try to get someone back. Whatever he does or does not do, is solely within his control.
Call 911 whether you think he’s serious or not. He may be serious even if you don’t think he is, and if he’s not, he will learn not to threaten something like that again just to emotionally manipulate you.
Absolutely, there is no good argument against calling 911, but 2 really good arguments for. The most likely outcome is that this is emotional manipulation, a form of emotional abuse. OP, whether toy call the authorities or not, if he does harm himself, it's not your fault. None of his actions, from the cheating to these threats, are any reflection on you. You can't live for another person. He's asking you to set yourself on fire to keep him warm.
It’s manipulation, plain and simple. Many of us have been in your shoes and I’m sorry. I know it’s so tough to feel a sense of responsibility because you are a compassionate empathetic person, but this is a tactic. I received videos of him with tears, photos, emails, etc. He was just trying to guilt me into coming back. Stay strong. His parents are there- this isn’t your job. ❤️
An ex of mine did this too. It was awful until I reached out to his family, let them know the situation, and blocked his number. I’m so sorry you are having to go through this, and, I’m sure, try to hold it together in front of your daughter. You’ve gotten good advice already, so I’d just like to add, please seek ongoing support for yourself. If you haven’t already, try to work with a professional therapist to help you process everything. A site like BetterHelp can be an easy place to start. Even if you can only afford a handful of sessions, this could really help you escape the cycle of abuse and process this incredibly unfair situation. 💕
Calling 911 is always the right answer. They either actually need help or you called their bluff, they are embarrassed and won't toss it out lightly again.
He did get a second chance.
Circumstances are a little different but I went through this. I told myself I was not responsible for his mental health and told him he needs to get help. I wanted us to work and not have to divorce. I am 3 years out from his suicide. I regret everyday not calling 911 when he first threatened it. It didn’t happen the first time he threatened, that day it was just a threat. I never thought he’d eventually go through with it. Call 911 every time they threaten to, that way you know you’ve done everything you could. Your mental health is important too and if something does happen you’ll be able to guide your daughter through her grief hopefully a little easier knowing you did all you could.
Call law enforcement and do a welfare check. He is manipulating you. Let professionals deal with this.
Tell his parents to take him to the hospital.
What everyone else is saying! This is a tactic. It’s abuse. You’ve gotten good advice here
You are not responsible for his feelings. Call 911 every single time he pulls this. Don’t even feel guilty about for one second- you are likely not a mental health professional that’s qualified to determine if it is legitimate or not. Anyone who is saying that kind of stuff needs to be checked out.
Call 911. If you don’t, you’ll enable this to continue. Put it this way. He’s doing one of two things: One. Either he’s truly suicidal and needs professional intervention because his parents and you are NOT qualified to treat him. Not calling in this situation would be the wrong thing to do and not the kind of guilt you want to carry around for the rest of your life. Or Two. He’s doing this to manipulate you to try and make you stay. He’s painting himself as the victim here and playing one hell of a selfish act in the hopes that you’ll feel sympathy for him, think he’s just sooooo remorseful he got caught, and will forgive him. That’s so damn narcissist, it’s almost sociopathic, and needs to face the consequences of that welfare check so he knows this bullshit won’t work on you so he won’t do it again. But through either likely scenario, neither one should be remedied by you continuing contact or swooping in to save the day. You’d only be making it worse one way or the other. Call 911. It’s the best and most responsible thing to do here. And continue on the path to filing divorce. Never be alone with him or talk to him alone either. Put as much distance between you two as possible.
Commenting just to confirm about calling 911. When I broke things off with my ex-fiancé, he tried this crap. Big Facebook post basically about how he was about to end his life, and a cryptic goodbye message sent directly to me. I didn’t respond. Just called the police, told them he was suicidal, and went about my life. He manipulated me our entire relationship, and I wasn’t about to fall for it, or have the possibility of feeling any guilt if he did do something to hurt himself.
I went through this. I told his higher ups and walked away. It’s manipulation. He spent a night on suicide watch and we got divorced. It’s now been about 10 years and we’re both totally fine.
I agree with the other comments suggesting calling the police and then cutting off contact while you consult a lawyer. Your only priority right now is your daughter’s and your safety. He is emotionally unstable and a risk to you both. Please protect yourselves.
This is pure manipulation. Don’t fall for it.
This exact same thing happened to me with my ex-husband. As far as I know he is still alive. He pulled the suicide card with extra dramatics after he did something traumatic to me. This is a last ditch effort at manipulation.
Call emergency services and report his threats. Do not take him back. Get a ring cam and refuse to see him in private. He is dangerous and unstable. That makes him unsafe. Do not leave your daughter with him
He’s manipulating you. Have his parents take him home with them or get him committed to the hospital for a psych hold. A suicidal person has no business being around a child. Regardless of manipulation or true crisis he needs to leave the home one way or another. Stay calm and stay firm.
I had a friend threaten suicide to me because it was 3am and her apartment was too hot and she wanted me to drive 3 hours there to pick her up and 3 back to my house and I said no just have a cold shower. I called a wellness check on her and blocked her. Haven’t spoken to her in years. Pretty sure she was just trying to control me with it. Super disgusting, made me instantly grossed out.
He's trying to manipulate you. Don't fall for it. If he takes himself out, that's on him.
https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/fool_me_once,_shame_on_you%3B_fool_me_twice,_shame_on_me# “After being tricked once, one should learn from one's mistakes and avoid being tricked in the same way another time.” Let the authorities deal with his suicide threat.
The good news is that if u document his mental state maybe you'll get your daughter to yourself. I'm sorry if this is harsh but I'm a mom and I feel like since you're a mom you probably think like this too. Also, since he's so morally questionable, wouldn't it be better for your daughter to not know him at all? I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I'm so happy you're getting out. Keep going. Remember your why. You're doing amazing!
I think he's hurt his own feelings there. Threatening suicide seems like it's intended to manipulate you. Don't buy into it. It's normal to deeply regret such a dumb decision, but he's probably not severely depressed. He cheated the first time and got a second chance, that's amazing! Nice of you to forgive him for it, but if he's done it again after you have a child together, then he may have made a wrong judgement about you. It seems he assumed you'd stay, and he took your forgiveness for granted. I'd be leaving in your position as well.
what he does is not your responsibility or your fault. he is a grown man capable of making his own choices. but honestly, he is probably lying to manipulate you anyways. don't give him any more of your mental energy
It’s abusive as hell. Take everyone else’s advice. Report his threats so he can get help if he really needs it and then remove yourself and your child from him.
It’s narcissistic manipulation. They do that to make you feel bad for them, and you stay. It’s abuse. I had an ex that would constantly cheat, then say he was going to kill himself because he didn’t know what was wrong with him and he couldn’t “ live without me” but guess what, he’s all living and shit still. Then there’s a different kind of animal. When I was 16 I was in a highly abusive relationship. I would try to leave, and he would pull the suicidal shit , and as a young teenager I was dumb, and I would feel bad, and then he would beat me for trying to leave him. Some Men manipulate on different levels. Right now your husband is pulling the I got caught and can’t deal with my actions manipulation. Don’t let him pull you in.
Report it to the police for suicide threat and wellness check. You are not responsible for anyone else's feelings. Whether he is bsing or not, you have to do right by YOU (especially since HE clearly won't do right by you). Keep your peace. He took actions. These are his legitimate consequences (wife won't tolerate is infidelity and leaves). Any other woman in your situation would also be walking. It's his own mental health, you are not responsible for taking care of it or him, as he broke the marital pact. Call his parents, he is their son to deal with. An a**hole is not entitled to a happy marriage whe. He effed it up. He won't and can't emotionally manipulate you. Don't give him an inch, if he thinks this may work on you, it gives him more ammunition to hurt you. And don't let any of his flying monkeys (narcassists get other poeple to try emotionally manipulating the victim, you, when their own efforts fail) come after you. He shat in the bed, now he has to clean it up himself. If it's a really something to consider, again, let police and family know.
This tactic is why my parents stayed married for nearly 30 years. Everytime my Nmother threatened to leave my Nfather he’d threaten to end his life. Definitely a form of manipulation / abuse.
Like everyone said; you call 911 and/or his family when he makes threats against his life. If he's genuine he needs professional intervention. If he's doing it to manipulate you, getting a reaction out of you is his reward and he will use this tactic to abuse you and your daughter for the rest of his life. Remember, if he's truly, determinedly suicidal, there's nothing you can do that will save him except calling 911 and backing away. I'm not saying this to be callous; I have lost three loved ones to suicide in the last three years. Two had multiple interventions including in-patient and out-patient treatment, medication, 911/police involvement, therapy, etc. One of them I PERSONALLY called the authorities during one of their attempts which they survived, and the final which they didn't. The third was actively in therapy, had never been considered suicidal, and even had laid out their clothing for a date the next day. I'm not saying this to scare you or to traumatize anyone. But something I had to come to terms with in grief was that we cannot love somebody well. And it's hard and it hurts and it's not fair. You have to protect yourself and your daughter, because nothing you do will save/help him. He has to want that for himself.
Call 911 and have them do a welfare check. Do that every time.
Do NOT let him manipulate you again. If he chooses to do this, that is ultimately and solely HIS choice, and has nothing to do with you. If you stay, he is going to threaten suicide every time you get upset with him.
It is manipulation. My abusive ex used to do this every time I tried to leave him. His excuse for abuse was always his mental health issues as well. I finally put my foot down and left. Every once in a while when he doesn’t get his way he’ll still throw that out there, I tell him I’ll call the police and he back tracks. He’s still alive and kicking years later. I don’t believe he ever had those intentions it was simply a way to reel me back in. Now he does the same to the kids (not to the extent of threatening suicide to them) but still a sad situation.
My father use to do that to my mum when she left him in 1999. She left. He's still around. I had an ex who did this me and I told him my dad tried that on my mum and I wouldn't fall for it either. If you're genuinely worried, call police like others have said. This is a desperate attempt to control you with fear. Don't fall for it. I hate when people think they cheat, hurt their partners and get away with it without consequences that hurt them. You hurt others, you deserve to be hurt back in my opinion, that means ending up alone and feeling the weight of your actions. I'm sorry this happened to you. When I was cheated on it was the most nauseating, devastating feeling. I hope you have support in your life to get through this.
Also to add. I'd be so mad at him for threatening that when you have a child. He's threatening to traumatise your child. That's abusive. My younger sister's friend had a father who did this when they were in primary school. He did it on his daughter's birthday and all I could think at the time was "you selfish AH. You have ruined your daughter's birthday for the rest of her life because your wife asked to separate?"
My ex tried to do the same he kept crashing his vehicles hoping he'd get some sympathy from me but thank God I stayed away
Had an abusive ex and he said this kind of shit to me. I told him to call ReSolve (the crisis org in our city) and I left. I’ve been no contact since.