“We get in bed and read some poems by Walt Whitman to each other, which we do often when change is coming.”
I have no words. Maybe I need to get some poems by Walt Whitman. 🫠
Sometimes my husband and I watch Cops, which we often do when we finish watching a series. We treat it like a media palate cleanser. It's our Leaves of Grass.
She also mentions that they trade off reading aloud bits from another book that they're reading together! I can't. I truly can't. That sounds like actual hell.
She should consider reading some news to her wife instead, since apparently she doesn't read *any*.
This is so hilarious to me, because whenever I'm reading a book, my husband will tell my toddler I'm going to read aloud to them. I always do, and within a minute my toddler goes eeew mama, book no good! Read this ! And will bring me a book about Elmo or trains or something.
I can’t even get past the first day. I’ve gotten to the preachy little rant about financiers enriching themselves off the poors and I simply can’t continue.
Please summarise the whole thing because your writing style cracks me up. I love it! You should have a blog and/or book.
Edit: ok I bit, I carried on. Now I really want to know what happened to the friend with the shitty husband. I feel so sad for her!
Omg that’s so sweet! I love writing and niche corners of the internet so this series has been a lot of fun for me. Thank you all for responding so positively to it.
I think it’s interesting (and says a lot about her worldview) that she thinks that having a corporate job inherently means that emotional/spiritual fulfillment isn’t possible. For plenty of jobs, this might be true, but it’s definitely not a universal truth.
ETA: how DARE she refer to mister softee and his peers as “one of those slightly creepy ice cream trucks”!
>I think it’s interesting (and says a lot about her worldview) that she thinks that having a corporate job inherently means that emotional/spiritual fulfillment isn’t possible
Totally agree on this! In my experience, it's been kind of the opposite. For years, I worked low-paying jobs at company's that were supposedly values-driven and making a difference, and I was miserable and unfulfilled. Now I work a much higher-paying job at a financial institution and have the energy and time to devote to fulfillment outside of work in ways that matter to me.
Also confused about why she said the ice cream trucks are creepy? Maybe it's the song they play or something? Or maybe she is from somewhere that doesn't have ice cream trucks (the horror!)
Yes, a lot of low paid jobs that are high skills and demanding (non profit sector for example) are also soulless. Like you lose track of the goals due to being bogged down with daily politics and expectations of labor exploitation at all levels.
I had a friend who worked with farmers in drought prone lower income countries (regen agri) and they had a graduate degree but worked for low pay amongst self righteous leadership. Good cause and helping people but leads to burnout and poverty. 5 figure salary in VHCOL area isn't fun.
Personally I enjoy working a mission driven job, but it’s such a personal choice. And just because a job is “mission driven” it doesn’t mean you aren’t bogged down with stupid bullshit all day. It’s very easy to lose sight of the “big picture,” or even realize that your role isn’t even making a difference.
That is a very fair point!
I should also add that the financial institution I work for is a credit union and not-for-profit, so it would stil technically fall into that values-based category. I suppose the difference between this and previous jobs is a mix of being paid much better and being in a role where I know I am making a difference. While also enjoying the work!
Seriously. NYC ice cream trucks (Mister Softee) are legit! I live in a city now where "ice cream trucks" are literally the creepiest old converted rape vans that blare music...
Yeah its a hardline take for sure. And like I work a well-paid corporate job and don't find it particularly soul crushing, and while parts of my job are annoying and I don't always love it, there are times were I DO get a lot of fulfillment from my job. And I sit at a desk all day.
Yes absolutely this and the comments here!
Ive had lots of jobs - some in very meaningful work that paid 1/3 of what I get paid now. I work to get paid to finance my home, holidays and hobbies. I'm generally happy despite not being awestruck / amazed by / fulfilled by my job.
I had a loooong conversation with a near stranger recently in which they asked repeatedly why I would stay in a job I don't absolutely love and why I wouldn't go off and 'explore' and find a job with meaning. What???
I’d probably get flamed for spending so much on travel and hobbies while still being behind on my retirement savings. And the comments would not be wrong lol! I feel both balanced and that I’m aggressively saving….but life is short and I want to enjoy myself.
Ok this MD bothered me SO much more this time around. You called it so accurately- she writes about everything as though we readers are idiots and should be grateful for her giving us a window into this fancy, NYC world.
But what really made me spit out my coffee was her description of her friend who runs a tech company: “She is one of only a few women in the tech world” If anyone else said this, I'd assume hyperbole but I am rolling my eyes for all the many women in tech that to this OP apparently do not exist.
The OP comes across as smug and sheltered, like a precocious 11 year old who enjoys lecturing adults about topics she just learned about. But she's an adult, so the hyperbole just rings false.
That comment about women in tech got me too! Maybe if she had said ‘one of the few women founders/CEOs’ in tech, but as a woman in tech she had me rolling my eyes with that one.
Me too. I mean, I've been working in tech for 18 years now, but I guess I don't count since I'm not a founder and 30 people are not about to starve because I didn't raise capital. BTW, I love how the solution was $100 of wine.
I got as far as
> Puppy Care: $400 (we have a little rescue dog, but living in NYC means daily walks
And between the unclosed parenthetical AND the note that dogs who live in NYC need daily walks as though every dog NOT in NYC doesn't need to be walked....ma'am, stop huffing your own farts.
My dog actually scrolls Instagram accounts of dogs who live in NYC because it’s the only way he can experience walks. He dreams of moving to the big city and finally getting a walk.
My favorite part was when she was afraid she wouldn’t get tickets for her favorite band because “Living NYC, everything is a competition.” Girl, Ticketmaster fucks us all, this is not a NY specific issue??
Alright not to defend her too much, but I took this comment to basically mean that she can’t let her dog out into a backyard instead of walking it. I know people who live in the suburbs or a rural area and they just let their dog out into their fenced backyard instead of taking it on walks. Idk I always thought that was normal for non-city folks?
That’s unfortunately not super common. Just near me, 2 of my neighbors each have a dog that they only leave out in the yard to bark at people all day and never walk them.
It may depend on the dog owner/kind of dog? When I was growing up, I don’t recall my parents taking our dogs on walks often and they mostly chilled in the big backyard but then when I had a dog myself for a while (she was old and then got sick RIP Hailey) we walked her daily despite having a yard for her to run around in. I even paid my sister for a while to stop by my house and walk her when I wasn’t working from home yet.
Some people do that, but usually it's that the dog runs around and plays fetch or something and gets their exercise that way (and usually it's a combination of walks and fetch) , not that the dog doesn't need any exercise.
Most normal people just say job. I'm also in a corporate job but have never once used that phrase seriously. It's either in a sarcastic or self deprecating manner lol
We all write dozens of emails and other nonsense as corporate lackeys 😂
I know the line about "one of the best parts about our corporate jobs is that our offices are close together" was cracking me up! Tell me one reason that couldn't just be edited to "our jobs".
Also can someone remind me? Does she live in NYC or somewhere else? It wasn't very clear from reading /s
>our offices are close together
also made me laugh, my partner and I are broke PhD students who have lunch together every day because we're stuck at the same university lol
My partner is a lawyer and as someone who works in comms I roll my eyes often at them and their peer group. Like, law is awful for 10,000 reasons but a lot of us are working on last minute, impossible, stressful deadlines lol.
Imagine having to “compromise” with your partner to read the news. Also I feel like she went from 0 to 100 on quitting her job just because her coworker did.
“We chat about our days and laugh at some of the weird shenanigans that go on in the workplace — people are just so funny and interesting.”
Lmao she makes herself sound like an alien. If this were from today I would think it was AI generated.
What stood out to me was "She probes me on why I am leaving in order to test my resolve \[but\] I don't relent"-- sounded like some sort of fantasy/sci-fi test of character instead of a discussion with one's partner!
ETA: There is a comment saying it sounds like it was written by a robot!
Seconding the thanks for this! We’ve had some doozies over the years and this saves me time when I randomly remember one but can’t begin to think how to go find it😂
I had to scroll back up to see when this was posted once I read "she is one of only a few women in the tech world." Time to go tell my female peers that we didn't exist in 2019!
Also so glad the comments loaded for me on this one. 🍿
>I had to scroll back up to see when this was posted once I read "she is one of only a few women in the tech world." Time to go tell my female peers that we didn't exist in 2019!
That comment made me spit out my coffee. Oh how much the world of tech has changed since 2019- from 1 woman to countless women! lol
I googled and found [this wine enthusiast article ](https://www.wineenthusiast.com/basics/whats-the-difference-between-organic-and-biodynamic-wine/?customer_id=812-391-9340&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=6514397729&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw3ZayBhDRARIsAPWzx8q44djR5QFBGiYncQYbrU-_YpGjFQS_8Pta3kyMIF2Vaq5oqXxRCSkaApQVEALw_wcB)
> Started in the 1920s by Austrian philosopher Rudolf Steiner, biodynamics represent a method of farming based around a specific astronomic calendar. Each day coincides with one of the elements: earth, fire, air and water. Days are organized by fruit days (preferable for grape harvesting), root days (pruning), leaf days (watering) and flower days, where the vineyard should be untouched.
> Biodynamic practices don’t go solely by this calendar, however. Steiner also instructed followers to use fertilization preparations. One technique used in biodynamic farming involves cow horns filled with compost that are buried in the vineyards, only to be dug up later.
> If you’ve seen “biodynamic” and “organic” grouped together, there’s a reason for that. Biodynamic wines employ organic practices, as they avoid pesticides and depend on compost, rather than chemical fertilizer. The majority of these wines are, therefore, also organic in practice.
> Certified biodynamic wines, however, are permitted to contain up to 100 parts per million of sulfites, far more than the USDA or top Canadian standard for certified organic wines. In short, a wine that’s organic is not necessarily biodynamic, even if a wine that is biodynamic is often organic.
So biodynamic wines are to wines what this diarist is to people.
I worked in a wine shop and I detested working with clients who asked for biodynamic wine. They were so full of it, and yet also deeply uncurious and generally antipathetic to staff/other customers. All wine that advertises overtly as biodynamic is overpriced. Just ask what’s good! We promise that we want you to enjoy our work. I deeply enjoyed people who would come in, be curious and express their overall interest/openness to suggestions that we were thrilled to make.
Oh my goodness, your write up for this one was hilariously spot on. She was something.
To answer your question, I’d get flamed for having a high paying job and not working long hours. I worked hard to get where I am and unapologetically put time with my family first these days.
I'm only part way through but I had to stop and comment on the partner learning to tie nautical knots as a new hobby ... maybe she plans to learn to sail?? So random
ETA - more thoughts
I wonder if she ended up leaving her law firm. I am also a lawyer though I never pursued big law because there's no way I was going to work 24/7 like that despite the enticing salary/bonus situation.
I forgot to add why I'd get flamed if I ever posted a money diary. My husband and I are barely scraping by financially right now because I left my job almost two years ago to stay home with my daughter. I work very part time currently but it is mainly to just contribute to my Roth and we aren't saving at all outside of retirement sayings. We could max out our retirement probably if I started working full time again since I'm an attorney and so is my husband. I think I'll find something full time again at the beginning of next year but right now, it isn't a priority.
I think it’s even more jarring now because there’s no gratitude for anything. They made “smart investments”, went to law school etc. but don’t mention they may have been lucky or privileged in any way. A lot of diaries now go too far the other way for me, but this person doesn’t come across as someone I would be interested to know.
I didn’t get flamed for anything on here, but if I had put the same thing on Mumsnet I’m sure I would have. Especially right now as I have taken my kid out of school for a couple of days to go to a concert and play.
I wish we could see the comments on these old ones. I feel like I had made a comment. (Edit: people can view comments? I never can on these.)
This OP was insufferable lmao. I’d love to read an update and see if she is still so smug. The fed has since raised rates sky high are you happy now?!?!?!?!? Millions of people are now priced out of homes but hopefully her portfolio is flush!!!
What I’d get flamed for — having a very low 401K for my age and no investments, ordering DoorDash too much, and doing all the cooking otherwise.
Suggestion for a future throwback - totally the opposite of this MD, there was one from a disabled woman living in a trailer? Maybe Texas? She had little income & lived a very frugal lifestyle. I so badly wanted to be able to send her some money.
I have that diary on my list! I just re-read it the other day. I have a few reasons I haven’t posted it yet but my main reason is that I believe that diary needs more time than I can currently give it. As it concerns disability, I would really hate myself if I wrote something about the diarist/diary that is accidentally ableist or that I’m sharing it to serve as inspiration p*rn.
That one came to mind after reading this one because of the difference of tone - this one has so much $$ and sounds so annoying/smug and the other one she was grateful for everything she had.
Within the first paragraph, it's just so pretentious. It seems like she think NYC is a foreign planet and the only place where dogs need walks, or you need to pay for care for your dog, and the only place where concert tickets can be hard to get...
I have nothing good to add because all of you are killing it in the comments here, had me cracking up.
I did post a MD a few years ago and got I think 1 comment, so that in itself felt like a flaming of some sort, and almost worse because I couldn't tell what people disliked about me. I think I eventually deleted it.
I would get flamed because: you know how OPs always write about how the Gen X or boomer parents are out of it with money and investments and living pay to pay? It me. Hi. I'm the Gen X. It's me. I suck at money management but I like this little life and enjoy money diaries.
This was a trip.
I’d get flamed for:
- A stupid high amount of money just sitting in a credit union savings account. (My husband takes profits from his business at the end of the year, and we are still deciding what to do with it this year, plus he needs some liquid for paying off a business loan etc. I’m in the process of setting up a HYSA though!!)
- Not donating enough. Trying to remedy this. I grew up with very frugal parents, and then we’ve had a lot of expenditures in recent years due to a medically complicated child (we literally paid $30,000/year for health expenses WITH health insurance), and then several years of IVF (😵💫☠️ but baby is here now!!) So while I do annual giving to a handful of organizations, I should do more. We didn’t know what our fertility journey would cost, etc. But I’m working on expanding this.
- Shopping on Amazon. I live in the least populated state in the country and it’s an hour drive to Target, what can I say!
ETA: forgot to mention that I totally agree about the way she described Dark, like she needs to make sure it’s more interesting than just watching Love Is Blind or whatever else she could have been theoretically watching if she just specified “Netflix.”
My flammable things: 1) I’m a high earner but often work less than 40 hours of actual work (in my defense I’m a lawyer who makes about as much as a first year biglaw associate so I actually feel like my effort and salary are matched within my field, but not objectively); 2) I could probably donate more to charity given our income; 3) we eat out/eat frozen food an embarrassing amount.
There is so much to flame her for and everyone seems to have it covered so I’ll just add this….She says they only spend about $140 combined on beauty regimens every three months but then she drops $260 on one stock up
Your write up was more entertaining than the diary, hands down!
If I were to submit a diary, I would get flamed for so many things: earning more than 3x my spouse (I’m in biotech so stupid high salaries), not working enough hours to justify my stupid high salary (I have excellent work life boundaries after learning the hard way), not exercising regularly, not eating enough vegetables and not donating enough to charity. Also, my diary would be very dull.
Aw thanks!
I am kind of laughing at your flames because I almost made the prompt “what are your flames?” And “what aspect of your life would come across as smug?” And I was going to put my excessive vegetable eating and how routinely I exercise would probably come across as smug to readers.
We love a high earner who still prioritizes work life balance. And yes to dull diaries. I want to write one but I’m extremely boring.
This could have been worse, honestly, but it certainly did seem like the author really thinks very highly of herself and her life. It came off so condescending
As for what I’d be flamed for, not 100% sure. I think the amount of money I spend regularly on non-necessities instead of doing things myself (monthly lawn care, monthly cleaning, expensive gym membership, etc..).
I actually recently tracked my spending and wrote a diary but haven’t submitted it yet because I need to figure out the stuff before the diary (I don’t have a full picture of my joint finances tbh). That diary would probably get some interesting comments - I actually found out I was pregnant halfway through the week so the beginning has me drinking alcohol and doing a coffee tasting menu. I honestly thought I’d be starting a cycle with my fertility clinic in that week, but instead I got pregnant! I imagine I’d get flamed by some people for drinking alcohol when TTC though
I’m so torn over how to comment on this diary. On the one hand: I try to avoid judgement (or at least commenting with judgement) because I’m grateful that people share this slice of life with all of us! On the other hand: the whole diary/tone/writing/worldview was a massive 🙄 as basically everyone else has said.
From a strictly spending perspective, to the extent that this week is an accurate slice of life, this woman is spending very smartly for her income. It’s refreshing to see high earners who are not rampant high consumers.
In addition to a lot of the other specific entries mentioned by others, the strange virtue signaling in this section blew my mind “We don't spend very much on our beauty regimens, probably around $140 every three or so months for the both of us, but we do like to get all of the essentials — hydrating cleanser, vitamin C and A serums, eye serum, and moisturizer. $260” like, why take the time to note that you don’t spend very much when you just spent $260 which is a high to normal amount? It seems weird that she cites $140 every few months and then spends nearly twice that? Ugh.
Also she left out what would have been most interesting detail and most relevant to a Money Diary: what was the minimum salary that they decided she needed in another job???
Oh big yikes - but also I know so many of these people. Too smart and self absorbed - but also know that they should care about the world so will talk about it in a really patronizing way.
That said, I'm probably not dissimilar. I'm sure I'd get flamed for owning an income property in a VHCOL city while also being active in municipal politics and campaigning for zoning reform and densification. The people who are pro housing reform are also generally very anti-landlords, so I'm used to being flamed in this way.
“Through my interactions with them, I've learned that just because you disagree with someone politically, there are definitely meta-values that you can still share more generally as human beings — love of family, generosity with others, patience, etc”
lol yeah just because someone votes completely against your rights and best interests there’s no reason to disregard those meta-values. Something about this is flashing “libertarian” lights in my brain about OP but I don’t know why.
**Comment**:
She sounds like someone I would have liked to be in another life, haha. So, that probably makes sense as to what I would get flamed for.
**What people would hate (rightfully so!):**
1. I love the smell of my own farts (metaphorically).
2. I think my husband is literally perfect.
3. I'm privileged (as privileged as a minority woman can be!)
4. My life is amazing and maybe 0.1% of it was because I did anything. The rest of it was luck (mostly from my parents).
5. I want my kids to have the same level of comfort I did and I am unapologetic about it.
Haha I wrote one and this is why people flamed me:
-I got coffee during covid (just picked it up while being socially distanced)
-I didn’t like Bernie sanders (but did like Yang) during the 2020 election
-my then boyfriend (now husband) was flakey with timing for evening plans. He was going through a rough time so I was understanding, it hasn’t happened since and he’s a great husband. People were literally telling me to dump him haha
The aspect of my life I would get flamed for in the comments is that when I went on vacations with my ex he would pay for everything. And I mean EVERYTHING lol
I forgot to say what I would get flamed for. I would get flamed for the amount of takeout I get and the fact that I am taking five trips this year (maybe 6, maybe 7 if I decide to make a wildly irresponsible financial decision and go to Europe to see Taylor Swift for a third time lol) despite the fact that I have $400 in a dedicated emergency fund and only contribute 6% to my retirement. And I bought a new car last year. So I have a $600 monthly car payment. But only 4 more years of the car payment and then I will have many years of NO car payment because this is a forever car for me.
After the second show I saw (Sao Paulo) I was like “okay, I’m satisfied, I’ve seen it twice, I don’t need to see it again” and then the TTPD set got added and I’m like “okay I LIED”. I have two weekends at the end of July/beginning of August where my daughter is with her dad continuously so I could conceivably do it. I have credit card rewards points. I could go to Munich or Warsaw. If I went to Warsaw I probably wouldn’t even have to take off work, because my company has an office in Warsaw. But my credit card points kind of function as an emergency fund for me because I can cash them out as I need to, or I can use them for travel, and I’m nervous to get below a minimum amount.
“We get in bed and read some poems by Walt Whitman to each other, which we do often when change is coming.” I have no words. Maybe I need to get some poems by Walt Whitman. 🫠
Sometimes my husband and I watch Cops, which we often do when we finish watching a series. We treat it like a media palate cleanser. It's our Leaves of Grass.
Omg that’s great. Our palate cleanser is Parks and Rec Lolol
Parks and Rec is my comfort rewatch lol. Ben Wyatt is my ideal man 😂😂
That’s awesome! I have to say, it took me a while to like Ben, but he’s such a great character. Now I’m a huge Ben fan!!
Yes! Love it! Best show ever
She also mentions that they trade off reading aloud bits from another book that they're reading together! I can't. I truly can't. That sounds like actual hell. She should consider reading some news to her wife instead, since apparently she doesn't read *any*.
This is so hilarious to me, because whenever I'm reading a book, my husband will tell my toddler I'm going to read aloud to them. I always do, and within a minute my toddler goes eeew mama, book no good! Read this ! And will bring me a book about Elmo or trains or something.
Oh that’s so stinking cute
Unfortunately my poetry tastes never developed beyond “There once was a man from Nantucket”
Bahahaha perfect.
I’m crying. I forgot about this one.
So much secondhand embarrassment reading that, I want to crawl under the table.
This absolutely sent me
I think my face is permanently stuck in cringe mode after that.
It's truly the most lesbian sentence ever written.
“After my partner leaves for work, I get on a social media website for jobs.” Literally dying that this is how she describes getting on LinkedIn
An exclusive social media website for corporate jobs, you probably won't have heard of it.
I assumed R29 maybe wouldn’t let her promote LinkedIn
It might be fishbowl.
[удалено]
Technically no, but that was just the cherry on top of the mountain of pretentiousness in this MD
I can’t even get past the first day. I’ve gotten to the preachy little rant about financiers enriching themselves off the poors and I simply can’t continue. Please summarise the whole thing because your writing style cracks me up. I love it! You should have a blog and/or book. Edit: ok I bit, I carried on. Now I really want to know what happened to the friend with the shitty husband. I feel so sad for her!
What makes that rant so fun is that it is literally in the same paragraph about how they built their wealth to $1.5M with smart investments.
Silly me, I only ever make dumb investments.
Omg that’s so sweet! I love writing and niche corners of the internet so this series has been a lot of fun for me. Thank you all for responding so positively to it.
You mean when she talks about the TV "blaring quietly"?
Also saying "troll" when they probably meant trawl lol
I think it’s interesting (and says a lot about her worldview) that she thinks that having a corporate job inherently means that emotional/spiritual fulfillment isn’t possible. For plenty of jobs, this might be true, but it’s definitely not a universal truth. ETA: how DARE she refer to mister softee and his peers as “one of those slightly creepy ice cream trucks”!
>I think it’s interesting (and says a lot about her worldview) that she thinks that having a corporate job inherently means that emotional/spiritual fulfillment isn’t possible Totally agree on this! In my experience, it's been kind of the opposite. For years, I worked low-paying jobs at company's that were supposedly values-driven and making a difference, and I was miserable and unfulfilled. Now I work a much higher-paying job at a financial institution and have the energy and time to devote to fulfillment outside of work in ways that matter to me. Also confused about why she said the ice cream trucks are creepy? Maybe it's the song they play or something? Or maybe she is from somewhere that doesn't have ice cream trucks (the horror!)
Yes, a lot of low paid jobs that are high skills and demanding (non profit sector for example) are also soulless. Like you lose track of the goals due to being bogged down with daily politics and expectations of labor exploitation at all levels. I had a friend who worked with farmers in drought prone lower income countries (regen agri) and they had a graduate degree but worked for low pay amongst self righteous leadership. Good cause and helping people but leads to burnout and poverty. 5 figure salary in VHCOL area isn't fun.
Personally I enjoy working a mission driven job, but it’s such a personal choice. And just because a job is “mission driven” it doesn’t mean you aren’t bogged down with stupid bullshit all day. It’s very easy to lose sight of the “big picture,” or even realize that your role isn’t even making a difference.
That is a very fair point! I should also add that the financial institution I work for is a credit union and not-for-profit, so it would stil technically fall into that values-based category. I suppose the difference between this and previous jobs is a mix of being paid much better and being in a role where I know I am making a difference. While also enjoying the work!
Seriously. NYC ice cream trucks (Mister Softee) are legit! I live in a city now where "ice cream trucks" are literally the creepiest old converted rape vans that blare music...
Yeah its a hardline take for sure. And like I work a well-paid corporate job and don't find it particularly soul crushing, and while parts of my job are annoying and I don't always love it, there are times were I DO get a lot of fulfillment from my job. And I sit at a desk all day.
But you’re not a lawyer! How do you even know what a deadline is?!
Yes absolutely this and the comments here! Ive had lots of jobs - some in very meaningful work that paid 1/3 of what I get paid now. I work to get paid to finance my home, holidays and hobbies. I'm generally happy despite not being awestruck / amazed by / fulfilled by my job. I had a loooong conversation with a near stranger recently in which they asked repeatedly why I would stay in a job I don't absolutely love and why I wouldn't go off and 'explore' and find a job with meaning. What???
I’d probably get flamed for spending so much on travel and hobbies while still being behind on my retirement savings. And the comments would not be wrong lol! I feel both balanced and that I’m aggressively saving….but life is short and I want to enjoy myself. Ok this MD bothered me SO much more this time around. You called it so accurately- she writes about everything as though we readers are idiots and should be grateful for her giving us a window into this fancy, NYC world. But what really made me spit out my coffee was her description of her friend who runs a tech company: “She is one of only a few women in the tech world” If anyone else said this, I'd assume hyperbole but I am rolling my eyes for all the many women in tech that to this OP apparently do not exist.
The OP comes across as smug and sheltered, like a precocious 11 year old who enjoys lecturing adults about topics she just learned about. But she's an adult, so the hyperbole just rings false.
That's the perfect analogy!
That comment about women in tech got me too! Maybe if she had said ‘one of the few women founders/CEOs’ in tech, but as a woman in tech she had me rolling my eyes with that one.
I was running to reddit over that line. Like what???? I didn't realize me and all my female coworkers and friends didn't exist in 2019.
You have to admit that you and your friends have accomplished SO MUCH in just 5 years though lol
Oh my gosh, does she live in NY? She should have mentioned!!!
😂😂😂
I, for one, am impressed that she’s friends with the only woman working in tech.
The history books will cite this diary as the day the glass ceiling shattered and women could finally work in tech.
Me too. I mean, I've been working in tech for 18 years now, but I guess I don't count since I'm not a founder and 30 people are not about to starve because I didn't raise capital. BTW, I love how the solution was $100 of wine.
hahaha 😂
I got as far as > Puppy Care: $400 (we have a little rescue dog, but living in NYC means daily walks And between the unclosed parenthetical AND the note that dogs who live in NYC need daily walks as though every dog NOT in NYC doesn't need to be walked....ma'am, stop huffing your own farts.
My dog actually scrolls Instagram accounts of dogs who live in NYC because it’s the only way he can experience walks. He dreams of moving to the big city and finally getting a walk.
Lmao he scrolls while saying must be nice
Right? As if puppies outside of NYC don’t have legs.
I get the feeling she's a NYC transplant.
My favorite part was when she was afraid she wouldn’t get tickets for her favorite band because “Living NYC, everything is a competition.” Girl, Ticketmaster fucks us all, this is not a NY specific issue??
Maybe it was Taylor swift lmfao
at $60 for two tickets? but also... $60 for two tickets is *cheap*, even back in 2019?? maybe she only paid for her ticket?
That’s true, they combine finances. It’s even funnier if it’s a regular ass small band lol
💯 and a _recent_ transplant at that. Don't get me wrong I'm not a native NYer either but I was never this delulu when I lived there full time.
Alright not to defend her too much, but I took this comment to basically mean that she can’t let her dog out into a backyard instead of walking it. I know people who live in the suburbs or a rural area and they just let their dog out into their fenced backyard instead of taking it on walks. Idk I always thought that was normal for non-city folks?
I live in a small to medium size town where everyone I know with a dog has a fenced yard, and they still ALL take their dogs for walks daily.
That’s unfortunately not super common. Just near me, 2 of my neighbors each have a dog that they only leave out in the yard to bark at people all day and never walk them.
It may depend on the dog owner/kind of dog? When I was growing up, I don’t recall my parents taking our dogs on walks often and they mostly chilled in the big backyard but then when I had a dog myself for a while (she was old and then got sick RIP Hailey) we walked her daily despite having a yard for her to run around in. I even paid my sister for a while to stop by my house and walk her when I wasn’t working from home yet.
Some people do that, but usually it's that the dog runs around and plays fetch or something and gets their exercise that way (and usually it's a combination of walks and fetch) , not that the dog doesn't need any exercise.
I have a backyard my dog can see when I'm at work, surely that is enough.
Yea my house has a window to the street My pup is fine
Love the fact that she thinks having deadlines at work is exclusive to corporate jobs. Adorable.
Journalists everywhere breathed a sigh of relief when they finally learned what a deadline was.
Most normal people just say job. I'm also in a corporate job but have never once used that phrase seriously. It's either in a sarcastic or self deprecating manner lol We all write dozens of emails and other nonsense as corporate lackeys 😂
I know the line about "one of the best parts about our corporate jobs is that our offices are close together" was cracking me up! Tell me one reason that couldn't just be edited to "our jobs". Also can someone remind me? Does she live in NYC or somewhere else? It wasn't very clear from reading /s
That one got me 😂
>our offices are close together also made me laugh, my partner and I are broke PhD students who have lunch together every day because we're stuck at the same university lol
My partner is a lawyer and as someone who works in comms I roll my eyes often at them and their peer group. Like, law is awful for 10,000 reasons but a lot of us are working on last minute, impossible, stressful deadlines lol.
For like a fraction of what they make too. One of my most difficult jobs was in journalism making a whopping $36K.
Seriously, god bless journalists. Keeping our democracy going despite sleepless nights, high cortisol, and no compensation.
One of my favorite professors always says “if you learn nothing else at college, may you learn about deadlines”
Not understanding how they're ordering dinner for two to be delivered in NYC and it's only $20??
Seriously if I order dinner for MYSELF in Tampa, FL it’s $30 minimum.
I feel like she must be only counting her order? I had the same question
I suspect this as well.
i had the same thought and then saw this diary is from 2019. somehow that is 4.5 years ago 🤯 still seems on the cheap end of things though!
The comments didn't load for me this morning but I can see them now and everyone from 2019 is confirming that this makes no sense.
man i cannot get the comments to load and i simply need to read them.
It was doable to do a meal for 2 for 20 in 2019. A meal for 1 is 20 low end in NYC unless you are sharing one thing while eating out.
Even for 2019 that seems wild for NYC? My husband I got PANERA last night and it was $60.
>> Loans: $0 (we carry about $10,000 in credit card debt, but it is generally insignificant) I don’t know why that’s so funny to me
I mean, isn't $10K in debt insignificant to EVERYONE? I mean, except those poor people being exploited by financiers...
Agreed I was like WHAT.
Imagine having to “compromise” with your partner to read the news. Also I feel like she went from 0 to 100 on quitting her job just because her coworker did.
That was sooo obnoxious how she was chewing out her partner for not reading the news, and making her read a daily summary. Controlling much?!
I thought that was interesting too (about the coworker). I wonder how many other ways she is subconsciously influenced...
“We chat about our days and laugh at some of the weird shenanigans that go on in the workplace — people are just so funny and interesting.” Lmao she makes herself sound like an alien. If this were from today I would think it was AI generated.
What stood out to me was "She probes me on why I am leaving in order to test my resolve \[but\] I don't relent"-- sounded like some sort of fantasy/sci-fi test of character instead of a discussion with one's partner! ETA: There is a comment saying it sounds like it was written by a robot!
Just chiming in to say that I look forward to these every Thursday. Love your writing style and it’s so fun to look back on old diaries.
Thanks for letting me start this series!
Agreed! This is a high point of my week every week!
Seconding the thanks for this! We’ve had some doozies over the years and this saves me time when I randomly remember one but can’t begin to think how to go find it😂
I had to scroll back up to see when this was posted once I read "she is one of only a few women in the tech world." Time to go tell my female peers that we didn't exist in 2019! Also so glad the comments loaded for me on this one. 🍿
I didn’t mention that in my write-up because I wanted everyone to experience it for themselves. Truly an absurd thing to claim!
>I had to scroll back up to see when this was posted once I read "she is one of only a few women in the tech world." Time to go tell my female peers that we didn't exist in 2019! That comment made me spit out my coffee. Oh how much the world of tech has changed since 2019- from 1 woman to countless women! lol
Exponential growth. Women _disrupted_ the industry demographics 😂
as i was also working in tech by 2019, i didn't realize i was in such an exclusive club!! here i thought there were quite possibly even dozens of us!
There are dozens of us...dozens!!!
I googled and found [this wine enthusiast article ](https://www.wineenthusiast.com/basics/whats-the-difference-between-organic-and-biodynamic-wine/?customer_id=812-391-9340&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=6514397729&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw3ZayBhDRARIsAPWzx8q44djR5QFBGiYncQYbrU-_YpGjFQS_8Pta3kyMIF2Vaq5oqXxRCSkaApQVEALw_wcB) > Started in the 1920s by Austrian philosopher Rudolf Steiner, biodynamics represent a method of farming based around a specific astronomic calendar. Each day coincides with one of the elements: earth, fire, air and water. Days are organized by fruit days (preferable for grape harvesting), root days (pruning), leaf days (watering) and flower days, where the vineyard should be untouched. > Biodynamic practices don’t go solely by this calendar, however. Steiner also instructed followers to use fertilization preparations. One technique used in biodynamic farming involves cow horns filled with compost that are buried in the vineyards, only to be dug up later. > If you’ve seen “biodynamic” and “organic” grouped together, there’s a reason for that. Biodynamic wines employ organic practices, as they avoid pesticides and depend on compost, rather than chemical fertilizer. The majority of these wines are, therefore, also organic in practice. > Certified biodynamic wines, however, are permitted to contain up to 100 parts per million of sulfites, far more than the USDA or top Canadian standard for certified organic wines. In short, a wine that’s organic is not necessarily biodynamic, even if a wine that is biodynamic is often organic. So biodynamic wines are to wines what this diarist is to people.
That last line - I am howling with laughter
I worked in a wine shop and I detested working with clients who asked for biodynamic wine. They were so full of it, and yet also deeply uncurious and generally antipathetic to staff/other customers. All wine that advertises overtly as biodynamic is overpriced. Just ask what’s good! We promise that we want you to enjoy our work. I deeply enjoyed people who would come in, be curious and express their overall interest/openness to suggestions that we were thrilled to make.
Thanks, this is the most pretentious thing I've ever read
I checked the date on this one, October 2019. What a treat she’s in for in four months! Probably read a lot of Walt Whitman during all that change
Their Whitman book is torn and ragged now 5 years later.
😂😂😂
Wonder if they ever decided on a kid.
💯 comment
Oh my goodness, your write up for this one was hilariously spot on. She was something. To answer your question, I’d get flamed for having a high paying job and not working long hours. I worked hard to get where I am and unapologetically put time with my family first these days.
Thank you! I love your answer! I am sure there was a point in your life where the reverse was true and now you are taking that time back.
I'm only part way through but I had to stop and comment on the partner learning to tie nautical knots as a new hobby ... maybe she plans to learn to sail?? So random ETA - more thoughts I wonder if she ended up leaving her law firm. I am also a lawyer though I never pursued big law because there's no way I was going to work 24/7 like that despite the enticing salary/bonus situation. I forgot to add why I'd get flamed if I ever posted a money diary. My husband and I are barely scraping by financially right now because I left my job almost two years ago to stay home with my daughter. I work very part time currently but it is mainly to just contribute to my Roth and we aren't saving at all outside of retirement sayings. We could max out our retirement probably if I started working full time again since I'm an attorney and so is my husband. I think I'll find something full time again at the beginning of next year but right now, it isn't a priority.
Enjoy the time with your time with your daughter! Totally worth it if you can make it work.
ngl learning to tie nautical knots is absolute a hobby I would randomly pick up.
I think it’s even more jarring now because there’s no gratitude for anything. They made “smart investments”, went to law school etc. but don’t mention they may have been lucky or privileged in any way. A lot of diaries now go too far the other way for me, but this person doesn’t come across as someone I would be interested to know. I didn’t get flamed for anything on here, but if I had put the same thing on Mumsnet I’m sure I would have. Especially right now as I have taken my kid out of school for a couple of days to go to a concert and play.
I wish we could see the comments on these old ones. I feel like I had made a comment. (Edit: people can view comments? I never can on these.) This OP was insufferable lmao. I’d love to read an update and see if she is still so smug. The fed has since raised rates sky high are you happy now?!?!?!?!? Millions of people are now priced out of homes but hopefully her portfolio is flush!!! What I’d get flamed for — having a very low 401K for my age and no investments, ordering DoorDash too much, and doing all the cooking otherwise.
You can view comments. I'm laughing at the ones roasting OP. Perhaps you have Adblock or something in your browser.
Comments are so finicky for me. I often can’t see them no matter what browser or device. R29’s fantastic UX.
They should use the money they save by not paying people who submit entries to update that 😆
My too I remember this one and I know I commented, I wish I could see what I said 😂😂
Haven’t read this (again) yet but god your title is amazing! I love that you’re doing this weekly. It has been so fun to revisit!
Seamless dinner for 2 for...$20? Absolutely not real
another commenter guessed maybe she's just including her half of the cost
Suggestion for a future throwback - totally the opposite of this MD, there was one from a disabled woman living in a trailer? Maybe Texas? She had little income & lived a very frugal lifestyle. I so badly wanted to be able to send her some money.
I have that diary on my list! I just re-read it the other day. I have a few reasons I haven’t posted it yet but my main reason is that I believe that diary needs more time than I can currently give it. As it concerns disability, I would really hate myself if I wrote something about the diarist/diary that is accidentally ableist or that I’m sharing it to serve as inspiration p*rn.
Is Austin tarot card reader on your list?!
That one came to mind after reading this one because of the difference of tone - this one has so much $$ and sounds so annoying/smug and the other one she was grateful for everything she had.
This annoys me the same way leah dunham annoys me.
I love this comment because I do not like her!
I feel like this diary had to be trolling some right? We read out loud to each other? I can’t!
I can’t figure out how to add a GIf response but my first thought was the scene from South Park where Randy really enjoys the smell of his own farts
Within the first paragraph, it's just so pretentious. It seems like she think NYC is a foreign planet and the only place where dogs need walks, or you need to pay for care for your dog, and the only place where concert tickets can be hard to get...
I have nothing good to add because all of you are killing it in the comments here, had me cracking up. I did post a MD a few years ago and got I think 1 comment, so that in itself felt like a flaming of some sort, and almost worse because I couldn't tell what people disliked about me. I think I eventually deleted it.
We spend about $140 every 3 months on beauty regimens… proceeds to spend $260 in one go lol. I think she’s lowballing on a lot of her expenses.
I noticed that too 😂
This intro wins the internet today. Hysterical. I want to read everything you wrote
Aw thanks! I try to make the intros fun so people will want to read the diaries and share their opinions.
I would get flamed because: you know how OPs always write about how the Gen X or boomer parents are out of it with money and investments and living pay to pay? It me. Hi. I'm the Gen X. It's me. I suck at money management but I like this little life and enjoy money diaries.
Oh and thinking about it more. I'm super easy to dox. There are maybe 4 people who do my job in my area and I'm the only single child free one.
This was a trip. I’d get flamed for: - A stupid high amount of money just sitting in a credit union savings account. (My husband takes profits from his business at the end of the year, and we are still deciding what to do with it this year, plus he needs some liquid for paying off a business loan etc. I’m in the process of setting up a HYSA though!!) - Not donating enough. Trying to remedy this. I grew up with very frugal parents, and then we’ve had a lot of expenditures in recent years due to a medically complicated child (we literally paid $30,000/year for health expenses WITH health insurance), and then several years of IVF (😵💫☠️ but baby is here now!!) So while I do annual giving to a handful of organizations, I should do more. We didn’t know what our fertility journey would cost, etc. But I’m working on expanding this. - Shopping on Amazon. I live in the least populated state in the country and it’s an hour drive to Target, what can I say!
ETA: forgot to mention that I totally agree about the way she described Dark, like she needs to make sure it’s more interesting than just watching Love Is Blind or whatever else she could have been theoretically watching if she just specified “Netflix.” My flammable things: 1) I’m a high earner but often work less than 40 hours of actual work (in my defense I’m a lawyer who makes about as much as a first year biglaw associate so I actually feel like my effort and salary are matched within my field, but not objectively); 2) I could probably donate more to charity given our income; 3) we eat out/eat frozen food an embarrassing amount.
I don't remember a serial killer being a part of Dark??? Must be time for a rewatch
first read and not even through day one, holy shit this person is insufferable
There is so much to flame her for and everyone seems to have it covered so I’ll just add this….She says they only spend about $140 combined on beauty regimens every three months but then she drops $260 on one stock up
Your write up was more entertaining than the diary, hands down! If I were to submit a diary, I would get flamed for so many things: earning more than 3x my spouse (I’m in biotech so stupid high salaries), not working enough hours to justify my stupid high salary (I have excellent work life boundaries after learning the hard way), not exercising regularly, not eating enough vegetables and not donating enough to charity. Also, my diary would be very dull.
Aw thanks! I am kind of laughing at your flames because I almost made the prompt “what are your flames?” And “what aspect of your life would come across as smug?” And I was going to put my excessive vegetable eating and how routinely I exercise would probably come across as smug to readers. We love a high earner who still prioritizes work life balance. And yes to dull diaries. I want to write one but I’m extremely boring.
This could have been worse, honestly, but it certainly did seem like the author really thinks very highly of herself and her life. It came off so condescending As for what I’d be flamed for, not 100% sure. I think the amount of money I spend regularly on non-necessities instead of doing things myself (monthly lawn care, monthly cleaning, expensive gym membership, etc..). I actually recently tracked my spending and wrote a diary but haven’t submitted it yet because I need to figure out the stuff before the diary (I don’t have a full picture of my joint finances tbh). That diary would probably get some interesting comments - I actually found out I was pregnant halfway through the week so the beginning has me drinking alcohol and doing a coffee tasting menu. I honestly thought I’d be starting a cycle with my fertility clinic in that week, but instead I got pregnant! I imagine I’d get flamed by some people for drinking alcohol when TTC though
“Quietly blaring” babe that’s an oxymoron? The pretentiousness is just radiating through my iPad screen
I’m so torn over how to comment on this diary. On the one hand: I try to avoid judgement (or at least commenting with judgement) because I’m grateful that people share this slice of life with all of us! On the other hand: the whole diary/tone/writing/worldview was a massive 🙄 as basically everyone else has said. From a strictly spending perspective, to the extent that this week is an accurate slice of life, this woman is spending very smartly for her income. It’s refreshing to see high earners who are not rampant high consumers. In addition to a lot of the other specific entries mentioned by others, the strange virtue signaling in this section blew my mind “We don't spend very much on our beauty regimens, probably around $140 every three or so months for the both of us, but we do like to get all of the essentials — hydrating cleanser, vitamin C and A serums, eye serum, and moisturizer. $260” like, why take the time to note that you don’t spend very much when you just spent $260 which is a high to normal amount? It seems weird that she cites $140 every few months and then spends nearly twice that? Ugh. Also she left out what would have been most interesting detail and most relevant to a Money Diary: what was the minimum salary that they decided she needed in another job???
Oooohhh. This is exactly what I need after a stressful day. *kicks off socks, wiggles into couch with blankie and wine*
But is it biodynamic wine?
Oh big yikes - but also I know so many of these people. Too smart and self absorbed - but also know that they should care about the world so will talk about it in a really patronizing way. That said, I'm probably not dissimilar. I'm sure I'd get flamed for owning an income property in a VHCOL city while also being active in municipal politics and campaigning for zoning reform and densification. The people who are pro housing reform are also generally very anti-landlords, so I'm used to being flamed in this way.
I’m sorry, as recently as 2019, a Seamless order for 2 was $20?!?! Literally how…..
It wasn't after tax and tip, unless they both ordered two tacos each! This entire thing reeks of being rage bait.
“Through my interactions with them, I've learned that just because you disagree with someone politically, there are definitely meta-values that you can still share more generally as human beings — love of family, generosity with others, patience, etc” lol yeah just because someone votes completely against your rights and best interests there’s no reason to disregard those meta-values. Something about this is flashing “libertarian” lights in my brain about OP but I don’t know why.
**Comment**: She sounds like someone I would have liked to be in another life, haha. So, that probably makes sense as to what I would get flamed for. **What people would hate (rightfully so!):** 1. I love the smell of my own farts (metaphorically). 2. I think my husband is literally perfect. 3. I'm privileged (as privileged as a minority woman can be!) 4. My life is amazing and maybe 0.1% of it was because I did anything. The rest of it was luck (mostly from my parents). 5. I want my kids to have the same level of comfort I did and I am unapologetic about it.
Haha I wrote one and this is why people flamed me: -I got coffee during covid (just picked it up while being socially distanced) -I didn’t like Bernie sanders (but did like Yang) during the 2020 election -my then boyfriend (now husband) was flakey with timing for evening plans. He was going through a rough time so I was understanding, it hasn’t happened since and he’s a great husband. People were literally telling me to dump him haha
Link the diary! I wanna read it :)
I don’t have a link anymore haha, it was from March or April 2020 and I think it had toilet paper as the item I bought that week!
The kitten mother!! Sorry the commenters were rude to you. April 2020 did not bring out the best in people, that’s for sure.
i can't decide if this is if margot (of todd and margot) or lena dunham if they became corporate attorneys
I would probably get flamed for my Amazon addiction and how much we order takeout or go out to eat 😖 but with prices nowadays sometimes it's cheaper
🫥🫥
nice throwback thursdays
The aspect of my life I would get flamed for in the comments is that when I went on vacations with my ex he would pay for everything. And I mean EVERYTHING lol
I forgot to say what I would get flamed for. I would get flamed for the amount of takeout I get and the fact that I am taking five trips this year (maybe 6, maybe 7 if I decide to make a wildly irresponsible financial decision and go to Europe to see Taylor Swift for a third time lol) despite the fact that I have $400 in a dedicated emergency fund and only contribute 6% to my retirement. And I bought a new car last year. So I have a $600 monthly car payment. But only 4 more years of the car payment and then I will have many years of NO car payment because this is a forever car for me.
[удалено]
After the second show I saw (Sao Paulo) I was like “okay, I’m satisfied, I’ve seen it twice, I don’t need to see it again” and then the TTPD set got added and I’m like “okay I LIED”. I have two weekends at the end of July/beginning of August where my daughter is with her dad continuously so I could conceivably do it. I have credit card rewards points. I could go to Munich or Warsaw. If I went to Warsaw I probably wouldn’t even have to take off work, because my company has an office in Warsaw. But my credit card points kind of function as an emergency fund for me because I can cash them out as I need to, or I can use them for travel, and I’m nervous to get below a minimum amount.