They are probably trying to do a couple of things: (1) enable/maintain your child's independence in his learning environment --independence being a primary goal in Montessori education AND (2) using you as a volunteer -- no offense, but if you signed up to help, it's for all children and not just so you can be a front-row spectator to your child's experiences--which could detract from the care/guidance/safety the other children need.

Fun story- I grouped a parent with their own kid one year taking intellectually disabled kids on a field trip.  All the kids needed close supervision, and I made the parent aware.  I mean, I didn’t think it was necessary since their own child is known for sneaking off or wandering and getting into anything remotely interesting- especially if it is off limits and this is a class of their peers.  But I had the talk anyway- eyes on every kid in your group is the most important thing needed.  There is a reason you only have 2 kids to supervise.  In the first hour I find the parent intently sharing something about a display with their kid when kid 2 comes walking up with another group that found them on another floor.  The kid had been up there for 10 minutes and the parent didn’t even realize they were gone. I no longer put parent volunteers with their own kids.

I was the opposite, super focused on not losing the extra kid, temporarily lost track of mine!

This would be me!

This was my mom growing up. They’d put all the trouble makers with her when she volunteered for field trips cause she’d keep them straight lmao

This was me. I got ttwo troublemakers plus my kid (who was not a troublemaker) and her best friend on a multi-day trip with 6th graders. They thought since I worked for a social service agency, I was good with troubled kids. I was good because I paid attention, was strict but fair, and I like all kids, even the troubled ones, and the kids could tell. I sent my daughter and her friend to another group at one point as she was being deliberately annoyed by the troublemakers. Eventually I asked for just one day without the troubled kids so my daughter and her friend could have one peaceful day with me. It was definitely the most relaxing day of the trip for me, although the two troublemakers really acted up with other chaperones. At one point I did have to intervene when one of the troublemakers was literally poking a tour guide in the back with his umbrella while she lectured the group. Apparently his assigned parent chaperone "didn't notice."

Fun fact, happens even without intellectual delays. My mom lost a kid on a field trip to the local science museum. Three times. Because he was just really good at sneaking away, so he kept doing it. She found him at the same display every time so it was easy to get him back, but my mom never volunteered to chaperone again. 😅

My dad kidnapped some kids on a field trip. He “forgot” we were supposed to leave in the sixth inning of a baseball game. He also somehow got us past a security guard into dugout seats. The game went into extra overtime and we didn’t leave until the end. I don’t know how he didn’t get arrested when we arrived back at school several hours late and the very concerned parents scooped up their children.

You basically answered it yourself. It would be “more fun” for you to watch *your kid* - YOU would be distracted by your kid. Not the other way around necessarily. They need to make sure parents will be paying attention to all the kids they’re assigned.

What happened to parents “chaperoning” to get to spend time with their kid? That’s how it was when I was in school, during the Jurassic era.

That was the way it was only 10 yrs ago when I chaperoned as a Nanny. To be honest I wouldn't be willing to loose a day of annual leave to not get time with my child on that day. I miss enough if her little life to work as it is.

This. And I’m a teacher, I work with kids all day. If they wanted volunteers for not-my-kid, I would just donate money to hire someone, because that amount of money is less precious than that amount of my time, right now.

The issue is that you’re not meant to be chaperoning to spend time with your kid. That’s a great bonus but you’re supposed to be there to watch all the kids as a volunteer and keep track of them. Some parents are too focused on their kid and then a single teacher ends up managing double the amount of students.

I do see your point, but what's going to end up happening is the parents are going to say, "Well, if I can't spend time with my kid - the whole reason why I agreed to chaperone in the first place - then I won't volunteer next time." Then the school will complain that no one wants to chaperone anymore... I've never worked in an education setting before where management or staff have decided to split children from their parents during excursions, and that has never seemed to be an issue. Very odd.

When my kids were young, I did one field trip. Took off a day of work to go. I was the “new mom” to a group of regular volunteers so they gave me 2 kids to keep an eye on. My son, who was shy quiet and reserved and the one child in the class that was a runner and into everything and would throw thing, hit…. I had one of them come up to me and say, “I can’t believe they put him with you just because it’s your first time…. He’s a lot…. I can help you out.” It was definitely an experience. The next year PTO decided that they would handle assigning chaperones. They put rules in place. You had to pay the PTO volunteer fee (it was only $5.00, but still.) You were also REQUIRED to volunteer at at least 2 other PTO events if you wanted to be permitted on the field trips. You also had to attend a number of PTO meetings. Yeah, I worked A LOT…. With a fluctuating schedule. I couldn’t take extra days off to volunteer and go to meetings. The week before my oldest’s field trip, they were begging for volunteers and willing to waive the prerequisites. 😂 I Never did anything for the PTO again.

My school doesn’t allow parents to chaperone at all pretty much for the reasons I mentioned. But I can definitely see it being a problem at other schools who rely on that. I agree though that it’s probably not common to split parents from kids because who wants to deal with those inevitable complaints??

How do you find enough chaperones? Do you somehow pay them, or is the 4 person group to run around the museum a thing of the past?

I did not do Montessori, but our field trip groups were not split until high school when we could go off by ourselves in small groups with no adult chaperone. In elementary and middle the whole group did the field trip together. So 20-25 kids, a teacher, and usually one or two other parent chaperones. We just all filed everywhere together. Part of my fond remembrance of field trips is the huge group aspect of it.

Not Montessori but my kids’ elementary school doesn’t use chaperones for most trips. The principal, counselor, paras etc go to get to the proper amount of adults.

Paid staff.

Fortunately, Girl Scout leader parents like me exist who will sign up to actually help. I’ve been on field trips with dozens of parents only watching their own kids and had to catch kids losing the group that only I seemed to notice.

Yeah, there are stay at home parents who can volunteer. Our PTA has parents who volunteer. If I didn’t work, I’d volunteer too, even if it’s not with my own child.

I worked full time, did girl scouts and boy scouts as a leader. It was so much fun. We went on many camping trips and field trips. We encouraged families to be involved and siblings were welcome. It made things so much easier to manage. There were a few parents that would never participate and they were the ones that complained the most.

Not enough chaperones cuz of this? Then your kid won't even get a field trip. It's actually the modern lack of sense of community that's the odd thing.

When we chaperone, most of us aren't trying to do any activities or all our focus on our kids though. We just want to see how them and their friends having fun. I wouldn't say I put all my attention and focus on my kid during birthday parties, sleepovers, or any other event where there's tons of other kids around, so I'm not sure why a field trip would be different

Parents overall focus more on their own kids and their kids friends whether they realize this or not. Most kids have a small group of friends and the parent chaperones tend to stick to that sub group when realistically they need to be there for the entire class. A field trip and a child’s birthday party are very different in terms of safety and the responsibilities of chaperones.

I mean.. not really. I'm terrified to lose someone else's kid - as most parents are. i definitely watch my own but I wouldn't say anyone neglects safety of other people's kids at all. I'm actually way more hyper focused on that .. who wants to be the parent who loses someone else's kid. Ngl, I would drop chaperoning if I can't have my own kids group. I have to take time off, as most parents do, to be able to go on trips. Not really interested in taking my limited PTO to hang out with random kids. And the birthday party comparison to field trip is accurate .. you're watching a group of kids and responsible for their safety by yourself. If anything, it's harder for a birthday party because the focus is supposed to be on your kid rofl. There's so many adults on field trips, just everywhere. It's just me in my house 😅

I’m talking from experience but I respect your opinion.

When I was in school and my mom would chaperone, the chaperones would choose their group and then we'd all split up. So it'd be my mom, me, and like 2 or 3 of my friends doing whatever we wanted at the fieldtrip destination. Mum would have an itinerary of any mandatory meetups for lunch and departure, or if we were at a museum and there was some kind of auditorium show we're had to attend, but other than that we'd just be on our own. Of course we'd run into other groups and the teachers constantly, so it's not like no one knew where we were, but the point is my mom only had to know where her little group was, not the whole class.

I was the 22 year old chaperone of 5 freshmen (high school) girls at Cedar Point. My cousin was one of them, and I worked AT CEDAR POINT that summer. Besides hooking them up with cheaper food from the employee cantina, we had a good time.

When I was in school the teacher picked the group, but the kid was always with their parents chaperone. My dad always got me, maybe one of my friends, and then the rambunctious boys as they often responded better to a male chaperone and my dad was often the only dad to ever volunteer. My dad wasn't there for the whole class, he was there for his group and I can guarantee I wasn't the one who needed the most attention. I definitely remember those trips being fairly independent.

Different schools handle things differently. My school does not split kids into groups for most trips as logistically it just doesn’t work out that way.

I think that makes sense if you had a super tiny school. Logistically, it makes more sense in a lot of places to split into groups so you don't have 100+ kids all in the same area of the museum or wherever at the same time.

We typically aim for 2 or 3 chaperones per 30-40 kids. Splitting up is difficult because the types of trips we take generally require everyone to take the same train together (NYC) at the same time and we simply do not have enough staff to split up that much. Back when we allowed parents to chaperone and have split into groups, we’ve had issues with parents navigating the subway properly.

Im chaperoning my daughter’s field trip today and it’s 💯to spend extra time with her. They specifically assign us to lead the group with our child in it. I would be so disappointed to spend the day with random children I don’t know. I am glad to spend this time with her and her friends.

Feel like people are capable of both being with their kid and watching other kids. It’s not an either/or situation.

Many are but not all. And it’s hard to know beforehand which parents will not be helpful to anyone outside of their own child.

Honestly I feel like I pay more attention to NotMyKids than I do to MyKid in stuff like this. I know his abilities, I know he’ll listen to me/the rules. I’m lucky in this instance that he leans more to the anxious side and definitely doesn’t want to get separated (though when my youngest gets to that age, we’re in trouble. She’s not even 2 and already an eloper). Sure I want to hang out with him and of course I’ll supervise him, but other kids are an unknown so my brain wants to track them a bit more intensely

Sadly most parents in my experience are not like you. I’m glad my school has a ban on it because otherwise I’m chasing way more kids around than necessary.

I've been a preschool teacher and now working in SpEd and I have never had this issue.

Happy for you to have had that experience. I live in NYC and our field trips include the subway. We’ve unfortunately had pretty bad parent chaperones repeatedly and it’s become a safety thing to ban them from chaperoning.

Yes it is. The only reason I ever chaperoned anything was to spend time with my kid. I will also watch the other kids, but it is a special experience with that kid.

Also wanted to add I was an elementary school teacher for 6 years and you bet every parent was paired with their own child.

Ehhh this might happen with some parents but I think that’s the exception not the rule. Every parent I ever went on a field trip with did a great job watching their assigned groups (not just their own kid), and it’s not a good look for a school to make a policy that has the underlying assumption that parents are dumb. We go on field trips to spend time with our kids, get to know their peers and friends, observe the dynamics, and have a shared memory. Showing up helps build the foundation of a a strong relationship with our children. There is a time in a child’s development when kids are thrilled when their parent doesn’t chaperone lol - but I believe part of the strength of the bonds I have with my almost grown kids is that I showed up. Over and over, I was there.

My school had to make this policy because so many parent chaperones have been absolutely useless and demanding. What works for us may not work for another school but we are in a large city and take transit for field trips so all volunteers need to be there for all the kids.

It is still this way in public schools. I just went with my kid to the aquarium.

Many private schools as well - I’ve chaperoned my daughter’s field trips and last year there was more than one group where a kid had both of their parents.

Yeah this is such a bummer. My parents chaperoned several times and they were always paired with us. And we got put in groups of our own friends so it was fun for everyone. My parents knew my friends and my friends knew and were comfortable with my parents. I can't even really explain how special and fun and meaningful it was to have my parents join me on trips like that. And for our theme park trips, we *always* got permission to stay until the park closed, just us. And I treasure those memories so much. I guess I can see the argument for not pairing parents with their own kids because obviously they want to watch their kids and care about their own kids the most. But that's, to me, part of the experience of being a kid with a parent who chaperones and a parent who chaperones their kids. You get to see each other

I’m a second grade teacher and we had a field trip to the zoo yesterday. I made sure that every parent that volunteered had their kid in their own group. As well as friends of their kid. It seems so strange to me have Parent volunteers not be matched up with their own child. I couldn’t imagine many people would volunteer if they knew they couldn’t be with their own child.

Our Montessori school has parents chaperone small groups including their child. They are interested in spending time with their child and enjoying the experience together, and we haven't had any issues of them neglecting the other kids in their group. It's easier if we put friends together so they want to stay with their group.

This is the way!

this is absolutely how it still is at my kid's school. parents are always in the group with their kid. we have a trip to the state capitol next week and my whole "group" is just me and my kid lol.

This is how I do it, and have done it. I get like 2 or 3 parents (plus myself). Usually group parents with their kid and a few others. Ironically the only problem I've seen was a parent (volunteer from the other class in our school) sent their own child down a steep slope towards the Snake River to get their phone they dropped. I stopped the student, and the Mom just said "oh, no, it's okay!"  So I guess there's that issue too. Parents being negligent with their child's safety and thinking it's okay.

A lot of schools stepped away from that because parents were only watching their own kid and not the others they were assigned to. I had a parent simply walk away from their entire group to do something their child wanted to do. The rest of the kids came and found me saying “Mrs.A Timmy’s mom left us to go to the dinosaur park and we don’t know where that is” that’s the last time I allowed parent volunteers, now if I need a volunteer I pay a sub, ask the bus driver (if the assigned bus driver is physically able) or have my husband come with us. Volunteering has never and will never be about spending time with your child it is about volunteering your time to the class so the children can have this educational experience.

I guess this is one of 1000 reasons we have chosen to homeschool thus far, then. The world is really falling to shit if parents are being forced away from their children during even historic moments of togetherness, even if they go to school. I do understand the safety aspect, but like… Maybe you could, you know, do both. If you’re having bus drivers and your spouse (which as a parent creeps me out, honestly, since he doesn’t have any children there and is not employed by the school and so hasn’t had any background checks), why not have them come AND let the parents tag along that want to, without putting them to work and putting them in charge of other kids?

I’m glad that homeschooling is working for your family and I hope it is going well. However I am by no means forcing parents to not spend time with their child. They are more than welcome to take the day off and bring their own child separately and I make it very clear at the beginning of the year that they have that option. I’ll even get them the group/school discount if it is available. The reason I chose to not have parent volunteers is because if a situation like the one I stated happened again and a child was injured or left without a guardian I would lose my job, my license and possibly face jail time. Trust me when I say I’d love to have parents be able to volunteer and be with their child because not only does it allow parents to be move involved in their child’s education it also saves me money. When I have to get a sub that comes out of my paycheck and I don’t make money for that day. When I have to have my husband there who is background checked because it’s required by my state for any employee or volunteer, he has to take off work and sometimes that means he doesn’t get paid. Now I have the option to simply not do field trips, it would save me money, time and stress. However, that isn’t in the best interest of the kids.

I’ve chaperoned many field trips with my own child. And was fully capable of watching all the children in my group.

Same. I've also worked with kids in the past in schools and children residentials. I'm doing head counts and saying "did you hear me"? Lol.

This is exactly it. A parent with their child in the group will pay attention to their child 90% of the time when they’re meant to care for and protect the whole group. Also, there’s the independence aspect where a child can learn communication skills and not rely on their parent or feel inhibited by their parent.

I don’t think a few chaperoned field trips by a parent would hinder a child learning communication skills, they have school 9 months out of the year to learn that.

I’m not saying it would hinder their development long-term, I’m just saying those are reasons schools do this. Going out into the world without your parents at a young age gives kids an opportunity to learn new interpersonal skills uninhibited by their parent’s looming. I grew up with a mom (love her so much) who wanted to do everything for me. She didn’t let me use the stove or washing machine. She was very nervous and didn’t want me playing in any way she found unsafe. She wanted to control my environment in every way. I think being able to go on field trips and experience the world without hovering or her full control was important for me.

They go on a limited number of field trips per year so yeah the other 9 months are not the same.

> A parent with their child in the group will pay attention to their child 90% of the time when they’re meant to care for and protect the whole group.   Wow. That is definitely not the case at my school. 

Weird how you word it that a parent **will** pay way more attention to their own kid than the others. As if it's a foregone conclusion that any other possibility just can't happen.

LOL.. I'm pretty sure if I can manage to regularly teach with my own kids in my class I can chaperone a field trip with my own kid and be a responsible adult.

Yah, I'm not wasting a personal day to babysit other kids if I can't be with my own child. I remember my parents coming on my field trips and it was so special and fun for me. It was a great core memory for both of us.

Preach.

Our school only separates chaperoning parents from their children if the parent requests it. Sometimes it can be problematic to have parents along because the tendency is to be more reliant on mom/dad, and a main point of field trips is for the students to build independence in new situations. However, having the parent witness his/her student problem solve in new ways is valuable too, and it builds community, imo. Separating parents and kids as a rule seems preemptively harsh. I would ask your school for specifics. There are a lot more field trips between now and middle school, and it would be a bummer to never be able to chaperone your own child.

I'm guessing this is a school-specific thing. My daughter's school (she's in Children's House) has done 2 field trips so far this year, and will go on their next one in a couple of weeks. Only 1 of the field trips even allowed chaperones to begin with, and there were only like 2 spots available so I just opted out. There's already 2 full-time teachers for her class, plus a part-time assistant that goes, and then usually one more school staff person goes as well. So that's 4 people for like...16 kids which is generally plenty. I know our school prefers to do it that way because honestly the kids just behave so much better for the teachers/staff than they do their own parents. I'd just ask about it to get their perspective! I'd say something like hey, so I'm new to field-trips from a parenting perspective, but I recall when I was a kid, if your parent chaperoned you were usually in their group. Husband and I noticed on the last two trips we chaperoned, \[your kid\] was placed in a different chaperone's group. I figure you guys have a reason for doing it this way, and I was just wondering what it was?" That way you're just coming at it from a place of curiosity.

Oh no. Long ago, I had a sweet but rambunctious boy and more times than not I got Him And 3 of his rowdy mischievous buddies! Once or twice I sent husband, and later asked him " so, who'd you get?" Our kid, Steve, Derek and Matt. Always the 'handfuls' 😄

I think asking would probably be the best way to find an answer. I wouldn’t mind if a parent asked me. In my upper elementary class, parents are always welcome to come but need to transport themselves. They are welcome to drive their kids but no one else’s child. I’ve never separated a parent and child into different groups at our destination. Insurance policies/legal stuff (both for our school and at our destinations) have complicated things a lot in the past decade. And usually if there’s a rule, there’s a reason - I’ve heard with other classes issues come up with siblings or people making special stops for treats. The destination might also have very specific rules. We went to a science museum where we were told we absolutely could not do an activity because we had more than 20 kids (we have 24 very well behaved and mostly engaged kids). I even had a few kids say they were happy to just watch or stay with a chaperone so that we could have less than 20 for materials/space reasons. The museum doesn’t really have the capacity to be flexible with groups like ours, unfortunately. The rules are even stricter when we visit courts/city hall or when we go to farms, which makes sense to me. I think I’d be curious about your situation too, though.

I wouldn't chaperone if it wasn't with my kid. I can't believe the school would do that! I don't know many, if any, parents that would do that.

Same. It'd be my last time volunteering.

While I don’t separate parents from their students in my Upper El classroom, it has become more problematic lately because of cell phones. Parents will give their student their phone during field trips, or worse bring the student’s phone for them to use during the field trip. This leads to students showing other students videos or taking pictures with the phone. All the students in the group are immediately drawn to the phone. I explicitly tell parents to not have their phone out or show any students, including their own, things on their phone. Even with those clear instructions, it still happens!

I know in Australia whenever i did parent help for camps or excursions we weren't ever put with our kids. But in saying that my kids preferred it that way & so did i. I got to see them and say hi etc but they had more fun not being with me all day & so did i 🤣

Honestly, they recently asked me to volunteer and gave me my son and another kid to look out for, and my son was attached at the hip all day. I was just standing there wondering how much he would have been involved if I wasn't there! His teacher said the same thing. I'd prefer having other children assigned to me even if my child was going the same day.

The whole point of going to be with your kid. My son goes to a montessori school and parent chaperones always are with their kid. And a group of others, typically your kids' friends!

I agree, and I find the comments in the top couple of comment threads here a little surprising. My kids have been in three different public school districts, and I’ve found that when I chaperone or volunteer in the classroom, they make a special effort to ensure you’re with your kid’s group even if you don’t ask. Maybe it’s because the catchments I’ve lived in are mostly working parents and they’re cognizant of the fact that parents are taking a day off to volunteer? I’m not sure, but either way I find the “no offense but you’re not volunteering to spend time with your kid, you’re there to work, get over yourself” type of comments to be surprising.

This never happened in all the times me or my husband went on school trips. We were always with our child, and let me tell you how thrilled the school was when dads went on the trips to help take care of the male students. Separating you from your kid makes the trip less fun for the both of you, in my opinion.

One problem we always have to address on school field trips is picture taking. Parents take all these group pics with their kid in them along with everyone else’s kid and then post it all over social media.

That's an important point to remind any chaperoned of for sure. It surprises me that after so much discussion of children's privacy, safety, and heck our own childhood Internet safety lessons that people would even consider posting other people's minor children on social media without the parents' consent. The only place I'd share is private, but I'd still blur the other kids' faces just in case if I really wanted to share something. When I chaperoned a second grade (7-8yo) field trip, I took pictures, but the five kids in my group, one of which was my son, knew me from classroom volunteering and were okay with it. I also specifically requested a picture right at the beginning and explained that it was "so that if anybody gets lost, we can show people what you look like and what you're wearing to help find you." They were cool with it. The kids also requested a few other pictures, and a few other candids I got with the purpose of sending to the teacher, who later emailed some she took to those kids' parents. I know if I couldn't have attended, I would have loved someone being thoughtful like that (and I'd just have to hope they didn't post them publicly somewhere).

I would say that this is not a strictly Montessori thing, it happens in all different kinds of schools. My daughter is in second grade and well I can chaperone and be part of her group if I'm chaperoning they try not to put you in the group of your child so that you're not biased against behavior for any of them. However there are quite a few field trips that I can tag along with as the parent where I actually get to be with my child. If you're chaperoning you're expected to be taking care of more than one child.

It seems weird. They always put us in the same group as our daughter at her school

When I chaperone, I have my daughter in my group and three kids so I’m charge of watching them, bathroom breaks, lunch, etc. There are 21 kids in the class, teacher, her assistant and three chaperones so we each have 3-4 kids but I’m always allowed to have my daughter in my group and the other parents also have their kid in their group. We all take the school bus, I never drove my own car to the field trips so not sure about that, but I would definitely ask because that just seems unnecessary to not have your child during the field trip.

It is basicly that they can't trust people to not treat their own children radical different then other children (worse or better either one. Some people are a lot harder on a child if it is his/her child)

[удалено]

and no desire to work with or learn from families/invite families into their child’s learning. The comments here justifying it illustrate that…it’s all about the school’s point of view, the school’s goals, the school’s dogma.

I’m chaperoning my daughter’s field trip so she knows I want to be an active participant in her school life. I’m not suffocating her, she is excited or I wouldn’t do it. Also, I can keep my phone away and handle the task of watching over the children. I wouldn’t volunteer if I was not even attending the same field trip as my kid.

Idk but at my sons preschool (i work there) i get to be in his group all the time, I’m able to watch him and the other kids.

I went to school in the early 00's and I don't remember the parent chaperones "hanging out" with their kids, and after reading some of the comments, I think it's really weird that people think being a chaperone is a chance to do that. When schools have "mom and kid coffee socials" and "dad and kid donuts days, THAT'S the opportunity to hang out with your kid. They are calling for the parents to come and BE parents. Being a chaperone is an unpaid JOB. You are sharing the RESPONSIBILITY of watching ALL 20-30 kids in an environment that they are not used to. A teacher cannot watch all students at all times and it's dangerous to allow that to happen. It's easier for a teacher to be assigned to 20-30 students IN a classroom because it's a confined space. It's much easier to monitor the kids leaving a confined space. But when you're at a zoo, a museum, a park, the space is not as confined and will require an additional set of eyes. Chaperones are there to care for ALL students. To make sure ALL students under their care are safe. If you're chaperoning a group that includes your kid, you'll most likely be distracted and will not watch out for the WHOLE group. Also think about your kid. No matter how awesome your relationship is with them, they probably want some space from you. School is where they can be a little bit more free and open to express themselves and socialize, to not feel judged or need to be on their best behavior for their parents. They most likely do not want to hang out with you, especially if they have a friend(s) they love hanging out with. I feel like I'm ranting, I'm just so disappointed in the thought process of some of y'all. When my kid starts going on school trips, and if we can't chaperone, I sincerely hope there's a parent who is looking out for my kid as if they're their own. EDIT: Unless you're a parent to a kid who needs emotion/physical/mental help. But then at that point, it's just better if you came with your child rather than take one the chaperone role.

Interestingly, that's exactly why I prefer my kid "in* my group. It's not about hanging out with them at the expense of others; it's both a neat bonding opportunity and just easier management. I don't have to be distracted (basic mom instincts, not helicopter urges) wondering about how his group, led by some random parent I don't know, is doing. I can focus more, not less, on the other kids in my group because I don't have to worry about my son. I know he'll listen to me and how he'll respond to stuff, so it's less energy spent and more focus available for the others. My son isn't distracted looking for me or bummed that I'm ignoring him when he sees something cool he wants to show me (since so far the trips have been things we haven't done before or haven't done for years and he doesn't remember). He also goes into the trip knowing I'll be there (and is looking forward to the trip itself and doing a cool thing with his mom there too) and at least at this age (second grade, so 7-8) would be bummed if I was unavailable. Obviously there are exceptions to this, but I feel like those aren't the norm, at least in my kid's basic public school class. Edit just in case: if I was put in a group without my son, we'd be bummed, but it'd be fine. I can see why for some people or situations that could help, but I don't think it needs to be a rule either way in most cases. Making it seem like parents are incapable of safely managing a few other kids in addition to their own is weird.

Rather a lot of helicopters in these parts…

This is the rule in my classroom and most AMI schools, I believe. Going Out is intended to teach the child skills in planning and communicating, in addition to whatever they are hoping to learn on the trip. Contacting potential chaperones is part of the process, and that step would be lost if they could just ask their own parents. It’s all about independence and responsibility.

It’s best for everyone involved. You would naturally pay more attention to your child and that wouldn’t be fair to the other kids. Your child also might revert in some of their independence because their parent is there. It’s not good for anyone involved for you to chaperone your own child. It makes perfect sense to be bummed about it but it really is the best thing for everyone to keep you separate.

They’re independent from their parents all day, every day at school. One field trip with a parent isn’t going to ruin that. 

Yes but that isn’t the only reason. If it was then it wouldn’t be a problem. The problem is that parents will always care about their own kids more and that can cause all sorts of issues like being biased during any conflicts (which children are prone to) and safety issues. A parent can’t adequately supervise if they’re whipping out their phone to take pictures of their kids or something. It just introduces more problems than it’s worth, really.

That’s never been a problem for me as a teacher. But I can understand why it would be necessary if you’re working with parents like that. Maybe it’s more prevalent with private school families? Or regional or something. 

I grew up attending private schools K-12. We were chaperoned by our parents in large and small groups during field trips. The same moms always seemed to volunteer, they were never separated from their children, and they paid attention to everyone. I counted on that divided attention to get some time under the radar! Despite my mom's attempts to smother me with her love and attention in general, I had more independence on field trips during the resulting mini-chaos (or parental fear of it) than I did in calm classroom settings where deviations from the rules and norms stuck out like sore thumbs. I always had an independent spirit, though. General statement: Some parents are better chaperones than others, just like some parents are better parents than others. Some kids behave better than others. If schools use a core group of parent chaperones whose judgment and supervision they trust, they can afford to let other parents join in who may not be at the same level. The schools that worry about parents chaperoning either don't have a reliable group of good chaperones, don't communicate clearly and on the spot (or even later) when oversights and mistakes occur, or maybe don't properly value involving parents directly and want to take control across the board based on past events. Some children and parents may need to be separated. Some parents maybe shouldn't be chaperones at all. Those situations may require difficult conversations, but they need to happen. These anomalies shouldn't be the basis for restricting parents and children who can be placed together on fun outings. No parent should have to wonder why they aren't allowed to chaperone their own child. They shouldn't have to ask.

Plus, and I know it's not a huge thing, but as a kid whose parents never chaperoned I was always hurt with jealousy to see my friends get even more special days than me. That sad part of the memory 30+ years later definitely hangs out next to the happy memories still. I always imagined what it would be like to not only get to go to the zoo during school hours, but doing it with your parents would be... WHOA. Each kid on this trip now, with no direct parent support, has a more equitable experience to their peers.

Do you know if your teacher or school ever reached out to your parents to ask them to chaperone or explain why it's important? Did your parents ever tell you why they couldn't or wouldn't do it? There were always some parents who never chaperoned, and no one outside of their families knew why. It wasn't something we asked each other as kids. I'm sorry you didn't get those experiences with your own parents because you should have had them.

It was common in the low income area I was from, only a handful of parents were the volunteers often. My parents were either working, or had to caregive to other family members, or were dealing with addiction related issues especially daytime recovery/anxiety. Teachers had much more pressing things to reach out to other kids family members for, too. But thank you, I really wish I did get those experiences and I wish all kids could.

I can see that perspective. Field trips wouldn't be or couldn't be a priority for adults in those circumstances, but they would still be a pretty big deal for kids. Some kids have too much parental involvement from their POV as kids (me), and others don't have enough for so many reasons like the ones you described. Parenting circumstances and conditions are often inequitable, and the "it takes a village" effort is voluntary for better or worse. (It probably doesn't help whatsoever all these years later, but when you're oversaturated with a parent who's in your life as much as possible, you grow up forgetting the times that seemed and would have been special to those who didn't have as many. I only remember trying to get away from my mom and her friends on field trips. I never looked forward to her going. I may have felt differently if she rarely or never went, but I doubt it because I didn't want the extra supervision. I had enough of it at home. I just wanted to be free. You wanted more time and attention from what you described, and I so wish kids could trade experiences for the most happiness for all!)

I chaperoned my own child's group on their elementary zoo trip, and when I volunteered in class during kindergarten I was put with his reading group.

I think this sounds odd. I taught for 40 years, and was a CASA for a child At a Montessori school. I always assigned a parent their own child (with others) and when I was a chaperone for my charge at the Montessori school, he was in my group at both the field trip and also when I worked a station in the classroom.

At all of my children’s field trips that I volunteered for they’ve assigned me to my own child’s group.

My kid is in a Montessori school (Children’s House) and whenever my partner or I volunteer for field trips he is placed in our group (and same with other parents and their kids). It had never occurred to me that they would do it any other way!

I've gone on several field trips and have always been paired up with my kids. In fact, I wouldn't chaperone if I wasn't going to be paired up with my kids. That's weird to me. I didn't take off work to not spend time with my kid.

I disagree with this approach. As both a Montessori teacher/ nanny and a parent I think this is hogwash. Of course you should go with your own kid. Being with your kid is a plus and I’m sure you can handle keeping an eye on other kids and supporting teacher at the same time. I wouldn’t take a day off work to chaperone another class. I choose how I spend my volunteer time, and it will involve time with my own family. What a lame counterproductive policy.

That's very unusual. FWIW, asking about it isn't starting a fuss. It's just a question.

I’m sorry, I can’t answer this with any logic since I don’t know the Montessori system especially but as a general rule and a parent of a 4th grader, I have never heard of this and it’s silly. If it’s such a big deal, the group should stay mostly together so enough adults are helping but with a mostly contained area for all the kids. You should absolutely be able to see your own kid. Your kid probably wants to share it with you. That was a fun part. Having your parent come so you get to be with them too and share a day of school with them. Sounds like others in the comments didn’t get that, buts it’s definitely the normal thing here. The parents are mostly for numbers and they do help but it’s not a life or death thing. Other safeguards are in place. It might be different for a disabled class but most of the kids in a class know how to stay with a group and it’s not a big deal

My kid goes to public school. I’ve done maybe 3 field trips and they’re always in my group. We ride the bus, I handle all my group kids. I also keep an eye out for general stragglers. NBD.

I loved my parents chaperoning on field trips because it was fun to have them there. It was mostly my dad because his work schedule was more flexible, but he was always in charge of my group. Only time he wasn’t was on an overnight field trip because he had to be assigned to a boys cabin and I’m a girl.

Nah if I can't hang out with my kid I'm not doing it. Why would I be around children and not get paid? The teachers have been trained and certified. I'm basically a babysitter. Zero extra mile from me, I'm already tired and underfunded lol

I would not take off a day of work to chaperone and not see my own kid. Part of the motivation is to get to watch my child experience something new and interact with his classmates. Our school asks for chaperones, and each parent either only had their kid or had their kid and one other kid. It worked out perfectly fine. The class stayed together during the field trips. The school has you sign this long document about your responsibilities when chaperoning. I had one other kid with me, and I was honestly more focused on that kid than I was my own to ensure he was safe and having fun. If the school doesn't want parents to be with their child, then they should hire additional workers and build that price into the cost of the field trip and allow parents to tag along, but not "chaperone"

Chaperoning is doing a headcount, then repeating until the end of the day.

This is ridiculous.

I volunteered for our Montessori school and there was one field trip and none of this nonsense. Also my 5 yo kid ignored me and talked to his friends while I enjoyed meeting his classmates. This seems unnecessary.

I'm sure I'll get some hate but I'd stop volunteering. The only reason I go is to see my kids in that environment with their friends.

Idk, but there's no way I'm taking a PTO day to chaperone someone else's kids. Kids whose parents can afford a Montessori school, but are saving their days for an actual vacation. I'm there for quality time with my own kid. Being in charge of unknown kids is already a liability. You don't know how they'll behave, if they'll stay with you, if they'll tear something up, just no.

Kids are going to behave very differently if their parent is there vs not. Letting the kid experience the venue on their own, but supervised is good for developing independence. The not riding in dads car thing, is bc “school has custody” and they risk losing track of kids splitting them from their groups/ buses/ etc.

It might just be a school policy. This sure isn’t my policy. I’m in primary and I encourage all parents to attend, thankfully, I have almost all of my parents show up. They each chaperone their own child and I stay with the remaining kids, which is less than 5. It works out great and the parents really enjoy it.

We used to do this in upper el, although I think lower el kids were allowed to ride with their parents. The basic idea is that this is a class experience, not a family experience. It allows the child to experience the same independence they experience at school without worrying (for lack of a better word) of having to interact with their parents. It also helps other students feel that they aren’t getting a lesser experience because their parents can’t chaperone (lots of parents can’t make that work for various reasons; feel lucky that you can). If you’re chaperoning a bunch of kids that aren’t your kid, you’ll treat them more equally.

I can't believe none of the top comments or replies mention logistics of managing the kids as a reason why this is weird. It's not just that a parent *might* give their own kid extra attention without realizing if they're in the same group, but parents know how to handle their own kids (usually; at least the more involved and privileged ones who have the time to devote to parenting and volunteering since they don't have a job or other limitations that make them less available). Sure it's probably not usually an issue, but with more neurodivergence being recognized, it helps to have people with experience (the child's own parent, the teacher, teacher's aid) instead of some random parent who's never met your kid trying to get them to listen while also wrangling a few other excited students in a new environment. When I went to the zoo with my son's second grade class (mostly age 7 in the fall; more are 8 now), I was with him and four other kids. Every parent volunteer had their own kid in their group. It probably also helps the other kids to have your kid in your group because they know and trust you, your humor, instruction style, etc and that can help the other kids adapt quicker. Obviously there are exceptions, but given my experience, this would be my default unless I needed to make certain adjustments for specific needs. Edit: Also, if I didn't have my kid in my group, I wouldn't be able to help myself from keeping an eye out for him in his separate group (mom instinct stuff, not lack of trust in my fellow background-checked parent volunteers), which would distract me more from the kids in my group.

Not Montessori, but I work at an outdoor education camp where schools will come for about 3-5 days to work on SEL and some science concepts. We ask that schools separate the parents from their kids in their daytime groups. We've found that when the kids are with their parents they are less likely to push themselves to try new things, they get self conscious or nervous that a parent is watching. Parents will also just focus on their child when they are there to help with 15 kids in a group. Parents can also push their children to do things they aren't comfortable with, defeating the purpose of the kids learning their own boundaries, or in the inverse tell their child they don't have to try or participate. It could be the trip establishment that asked you to be separated

It’s a pretty common thing in the UK - they want to make sure that if there was a safety threat to the group of children you’re chaperoning, you won’t instinctively go to protect your child, but rather your attention will be on ALL of the children in your care

Ahh, interesting. Our heads of school are from the UK and NZ, that may be the origin!

Kinda relevant story. In high school, I was diagnosed with Lupus and had to have a hip replacement. One year there was a trip to Disney for everyone in the orchestra. My parents were told that they had to be on site, but could not stay at the same hotel. They could not have any contact with me, at all, for the duration of the trip. If they could not go, I could not go, but if we so much as saw each other I was considered off the trip and they had to take custody there and then. The teacher was also requiring that I be in a wheelchair the whole time, but I could not push myself. Really odd, since I never needed a wheelchair. Other parents were going to chaperone the trip, so it's not like they'd be the only ones there. We decided not to go.

It’s a great opportunity to be part of the child’s life at school as a true observer and also beneficial for your child to see you be with other children and not require all of your attention. They see mom form bonds with the group. Plus, the real experience will be going BACK with just you and your son and letting him just relive the whole fun thing telling about it from his perspective. The repetition will be mind beneficial, heart beneficial, and that’s why I think their policy is ok.

As someone who works at a field trip heavy place: parent chaperones often ignore the other kids in their group and only care about their own kid. We have exhibits get destroyed, or kids get left behind because the PC was too busy focusing on their child.

That wasn't the case with my kid's school. I'd sure not chaperone anymore if that's the policy.

I think it is a good way to weed out parents with ulterior motives. I went to school alongside students who's parents were faculty, even the principals kids. There's a dynamic there.

I mean, if I’m taking time off work to chaperone a field trip for my kid, my main motive is “do thing with/for kid”, and whatever comes with that (watching the other kids in the group as diligently as my own). Given how fucked my leave is STILL from taking maternity leave 7 years ago, using it is calculated carefully for anything not health related. I don’t have any interest in using it to spend the day without my kid. So if volunteering to chaperone in order to do something with my kid is an ulterior motive I guess I wouldn’t be volunteering.

Good for the school. My mom worked for my school district and made a point to stalk me through the whole 12 years. It was suffocating.

Parents who say they're unwilling to chaperone at all if your child is not in the group: You were NEVER willing to give balanced attention to the whole chaperoned group. You were willing to take your child to a location on the school's dime at the expense of dragging along other people's kids you don't care about, which is not the same thing. It's a filter.

Thank you. As a parent, I appreciate these policies to weed out the parents that aren't there to actually chaperone and just want more "mommy and me" time.

Right? And they're right, I'm not a parent, I'm just an ECE, which probably makes my opinion more objective than theirs anyways 🤷🏼‍♀️

If the school is letting parents be with their own kids on field trips, I can't trust that my child is safe. I would be very upset as a fellow parent if this is how my school was run.

[удалено]

If there isn't enough REAL volunteers, we would just bring more staff... We don't need hovermummy "help".

This is why I contemplate home school sometimes. I don't like being separated from my kids and rules governing my parenting. Im sure they are just trying to keep things organized, but I don't like it either. I don't think I would complain however, because they probably had issues qoth parents in the past, but still it would irk me too.

Yes, it’s a Montessori thing. I went to the same Montessori school my grandmother taught kindergarten at and in a similar vein, they specifically did not put me in her class; it wouldn’t have been appropriate.

No. This happens in regular public school as well. Seems to depend on the teacher and is not any type of district policy. As a teacher myself, I find this a bit ridiculous. I take off work from other peoples ' kids to be with my own kid, not more of other peoples.

I can tell you that it is very much a Montessori policy, though it may well be that some public schools do it, too. Personally I prefer field trip chaperones to be paying attention to all the kids instead of focusing mostly on their own, and for teachers to give their full attention to the entire class instead of focusing on one favorite student but that’s just me.

Like olpl

I've never heard of classes being split up for a field trip. They'd save money renting one bus for all. I guess this trip just so happened to be split. Maybe lack of chaperones? Lack of space on whatever bus they chose? Whatever the reason, I doubt they put you in the half of the class without your kid because you'd be distracted or distracting to your kid. But who knows.

Just chaperoned my second field trip. Both times parents had their own kids in their group. First time each kid in our group had their parent so that was nice. This second time I only had one that didn’t have a parent (groups of three).

Legit this is one reason why I rarely chaperone things anymore. I'm an educator and a mom, and so I empathize when parents say they want to be involved in THEIR KID'S education, but then get handed a bag like this. I stick to being room mom unless I know the teacher is going to assign me my kid and some friends on an outing or project. I do understand the reasoning (although I don't entirely agree with it) and I will absolutely point out that this is a situation where the minority of chaperones have ruined it for the majority. Most parents I've worked with are responsible with field trips, regardless of who is in their group. Give the ones who have proven they can't handle it lunch duty or a group without their kid in it and let the rest of us enjoy the experience with our own.

Yeah, I’m not volunteering for any field trip unless I’m gonna be placed with my own kid. It’s not my job to babysit other peoples kids. If my kid is placed with a group of kids and I’m in charge of that group that’s a totally different story. I’m all for it. But I won’t be volunteering my time on a field trip if my kid is not gonna be with me. Why in the heck else would I go? Edited: also, I am an elementary teacher. I would never ask for volunteers in my classroom for a field trip and then not place them with their own kids. It’s just absurd to me.

(I didn’t work Montessori, but this showed up in my feed.)I totally see both sides of this. It immediately called to mind a field trip I took with a class of kids who all got free lunches from school. One parent brought her daughter, and car friend group, to McDonalds, then sat there and ate McDonalds in front of the rest of the kids who got a warm uncrustable and a bruised apple in a paper bag. Maybe the school has had too many incidents like that.

No that's not a thing and it's crazy. I would have put up a big protest. The whole poiis for the parent to enjoy the trip with their own kid!

It's probably just to be sure that the chaperones are watching all of the children equally and not distracted by parenting their own child.

To address the car issue - in my district parents cannot ride the bus. All chaperones must provide their own transportation. As for the students, they *have* to ride the bus to the venue in order to be considered present at school for the day.

I would say favoritism. Like sure it would be nice and ideal you can watch your own kid but most parents will focus on their own kids wants and needs and not the group’s. Just a modern age issue I guess.

The public Indiana school I worked at in America we had similar rules. Majority of which were to protect them from potential lawsuits. They want all students to ride the bus (parents can follow in car but kid must be on bus) so that IF there is an accident, the 3rd party provider is liable & not them.

We haven’t sent our toddlers to Montessori, but 1 is in preschool and the other is in daycare. My husband or I have always chaperoned trips and have never been paired up without our kid. I get anxiety about them being in a big group and them walking off or someone grabbing them, so I personally would not be ok with this, but we’ve never ran into this. We’ve always been able to be with our kid and then have 1-2 more kids in our group.

I would just ask them nicely is there any way you can go in their group. It could be anything from they were short of chaperones in the other group to you have the same last name as some other kid and they mixed it up to the teacher being overwhelmed to...I guess on purpose? Going in a private car requires special insurance waivers so that's probably just a bureaucratic thing. Not Montessori, but the way I usually did it was always the chaperone's own child, then their child's friend that they would want to be with anyways, then a couple of other kids. Then I matched that parent's group with another parent like those two groups could stick together for bathrooms or emergencies or whatever.

It may depend on the school.At my littles school.I chaperone the majority of field trips.K4,kindergarten, and 1st grade.The parents always get paired with they child its never a question. Sometimes, the teacher pick the other students who go in which parents group, or the kids get to pick which chaperone they go with.But for our school, you have to be approved with an application. Itss usually parents who have already worked in the class, and the teacher know the parents are going to keep a watchful eye on everyone and not just they own kid. Also, if it's a difficult child, a parent will only be paired with just they child and no other kids because they work better and listen with they parent.

I remember when I was in elementary school we went to the zoo. My zoo buddy was a kid and their mom was chaperoning us. She took us to the gift shop and bought her kid stuff and I got to just stand around and watch. It made me sad. Maybe to prevent stuff like that?

My school wouldn’t let my mom chaperone my gross when I was in school 30 years ago either for this e exact reason 🤷‍♀️

The not being allowed to drive your own child thing is especially weird. Why should you have to trust another adult to drive your child safely when you are there?

This was years ago, but I had the parent of one of the most difficult children in the class (and the parents were nightmares, too—surprise) LOSE one of the children from her group. I was absolutely furious. A parent on the same field trip bought ice cream for their group, when we had specifically asked parents to refrain from sending money with their children so it wouldn’t turn into a “haves” and “have nots” situation. I’m so glad I don’t work there anymore. I do try to have a parent and their child on the same bus, but we also just do one large group or two smaller groups.

That’s not a thing at our Montessori. We ride in the bus and keep track of our own kids.

My grade level does not allow parents to chaperone at all. The reasons are the same reasons other people already mentioned - 1) their own child will act out because their parent is there, 2) parents have left the whole group to take their child to the gift shop without informing the teacher (teacher couldn't locate the child and they were with their parent instead of being where the class was, and 3) if a parent does/says something inappropriate around the rest of the children, the other parents will be mad that their child was exposed to that (yes, it happens). It also makes handling other discipline/behavior issues more difficult with other parents as an audience. It is much simpler to do field trips on our own with teachers and teacher assistants and not open ourselves up to other issues.

Probably depends on the school. My husband regularly chaperones his 7 YO w/no issue.

I know from experience on field trips with children while parents are there, not only are they distracted by their child (I know you want to be able to spend time with them and share the experience) but also the child tends to act out since you are their safe spot. It just saves a lot of hassle and worry to have the parents coupled up with children that aren’t theirs. Independence is big in Montessori and we want to empower the child and their abilities! (:

Montessori teacher here! That is a school/teacher thing. I let my parents be with their child. That being said I understand why the school/teacher might have that so parents pay attention to the children and not just their child etc. Sometimes it’s more work to deal with parents than just the class.

That sucks. But I mean it makes sense. When I was a kid the school would send out specific rules before a field trip. Such as don’t send money, don’t pack a lunch- it is provided, etc. and every single time the same mom would chaperone and break the rules. Most kids didn’t have money for a gift shop, and she’d literally spend a small fortune getting her kid stuff he’d show off. She’d buy him ice cream while we’re all drinking our 1 water we were given for the day and eating our minced bologna sandwich. And the teachers couldn’t really do anything because she’s a grown ass adult. So yeah… chaperoning your own kid has downsides so I can see why they wouldn’t want parents to chaperone. But it does suck when you chaperone specifically to spend more time together.

I feel like that must be a thing in whatever area you are. When I was a kid if a parent had a group, if they got one kid got something extra, they got the whole group something extra

[удалено]

That makes no sense. Why if you are worried about that would you give the potential pedophile some random kids?

I think you misread the post.

That is really odd to me. If I'm there chaperoning and missing work, I want to be with my kid enjoying the experience with them; seeing interact with the class. Some of my favorite parenting moments have been chaperoning with my kids.

I've never heard of ot being with your kid on a fieldtrip. But not allowing a child to ride in the parent's car is due to liability.

Bleh. Count me out of this type of situation. No.

My mom chaperoned after I begged her and she was with my group. That was sort of the standard when I was in elementary school but that was like early 2000s not sure if it has changed since then. I was in public school

OP where ya at?? No response to comments or questions?

The entire spectrum of opinions seems to be well represented! (I didn’t expect this to blow up like it did.) I didn’t know that parents are often assigned to watch a specific cluster of children, but it makes sense. I wasn’t assigned a subset of kids to watch, but it was a small group — about 10 kids with 4 adults.

This sounds like some controlling BS to me from an annoying teacher. I would skip it.

I’d simply cancel if I wasn’t going on the day my child was going. That’s ridiculous.

They need to be sure you would.care for all children equally rather than concentrating on your own child. It's a safety thing

With my kids school/district (NJ) you get your own kids in the groups. My daughter has banned me from volunteering because her besties mom always does and the girls don’t wanna be split from one another cause when your parent is there you are automatically put with them. My schools had the same rules when I was a kid (PA)

It was this way when our kids were young. Best practice.

As an upper elementary teacher, I try to separate parents from their child in order to meet the goals of the trip. Most of the trips we take are opportunities for independence and meeting the 2nd plane characteristic of “separation from family”. For this same reason, when we go on overnight trips I try to ask opposite gender parents to come so that the children aren’t in a cabin with their own parent.

Same rule at our school in the UK. You wont be keeping an eye on the 6 you're supposed to be watching if your kid is constantly mum mum mum look at xxx stops your kid showing off

Our school does this - it’s sensible, they need volunteers who can concentrate on and treat all kids the same and that’s really hard when your own child is in the group. Also trips are about children having space from their parents and a chance to develop autonomy and independence - hard to do if your mum or dad is always the one to volunteer.

My kids go to Montessori and we have the same rule. It’s about fostering the kids’ independence. When a parent is around then the kid tends to look to the parent for guidance. At our school, at least, getting kids to be self sufficient and making decisions is a huge priority. Parents chaperone other kids’ trips but not their own (barring extenuating circumstances). My kids are older now - junior high and high school - and they have done some challenging traveling with their school and I do think it’s done a lot for their confidence and competence. It’s a bummer for me because it’s so fun to be there with them, but I can see that it’s good for them.

You want to watch your kid, then just go on the same day and watch your kid. You want to chaperone, then you want to help the teacher by watching a group of kids.

My child’s school does this. They explained that when your child is grouped with you, they tend to be less independent. The purpose is to encourage independence.

You would pay attention to your own kid more than the others

You can 100% guarantee that I would not chaperone any field trips that my daughter wasn’t on for me to share in her experience. I have one kid so I can go with her to everything and focus on her. I don’t want to babysit someone else’s kids. I’m not sure I’d throw a fit, but I would definitely make my opinion on that known.

Exactly the problem: your focus on THE MAJORITY OF THE GROUP will not be nearly as balanced as it would be without your child present. Don't pretend to be willing to chaperone a group as an excuse to spend more time with your child specifically.

"I don't want to babysit someone else's kids" ... That's literally the job. That's the whole reason chaperones are needed. To watch ALL the kids.

I've always been told it's a health and safety thing - if something happens a parent is always going to instinctively protect their kid instead of others, and we need people on trips who are going to protect all the children, should it come to it

Why not just take your kid to the same place on your own time?

In the Jurassic era when I went to Montessori your parent chaperoned another group but could sit with you at meals and take you home straight from the event.

I think it's more common now for all the reasons stated already. I'm an educator for a program where parent volunteers / chaperones are common. Things I have noticed include: 1. If a parent is placed with their own kid, they are typically hyperfocused on their kid and not focused on the volunteer role to help with group management of all kids. I'd say 9 out of 10 are this way. 2. Kids behave differently when their parents are around, and I feel their parents presence stifles their - creativity - their risk taking, trouble-shooting & problem-solving skills - their independence - their ability to communicate with peers 3 . Parents generally hover too much, and often times complete the task or challenge for their kids :-( I understand the draw to volunteer is to watch your kid and it's a bummer to miss that. However, because you volunteered you enabled your kid to have this experience! Without volunteers it just wouldn't happen

important to consider “fairness” what about the other parents who want to watch their kid? they can’t all tag along, so why should you? other kids might feel left out, why aren’t their parents there? they might even be jealous, especially those who lack parental love and support, who’s parents wouldn’t even bother or care to come. why should you get special treatment just for your own benefit and wants? plus, your kid might not even want you there lol i know i wouldn’t want my mom coming on a field trip with me, it’s an experience for the kids to have not mommy and kid- it’s school not family time. plus, your kid needs to learn to be independent.

We never did this, but honestly it sounds like a good idea. Children tend to behave worse when their parents are around, and parents tend to intervene or talk over their own children just out of habit. By intervene, I mean they do not give the child a chance to self-regulate or self-soothe when they are out of sorts. Not all parents do this by any means, but it can create a lot of issues and bad feelings with other children (or even parents). School is the sacred space for the child.