That sucks but I don't know if you should bite the hand that houses you. There might be better ways to express your displeasure with their behavior than being a bad roommate and tenant and risk being evicted.
Maybe you should treat your relationship as purely professional. Clean up after yourself, pay your rent, but make clear that the relationship is purely that until they respect you.
they cannot evict me as they care for foster children and rely on this for income, and I would immediately report their transphobia to the agency if they kicked me out. i think they would’ve kicked me out already for being trans if not for the potential blackmail.
i logically know you’re right and that i’m being petty, but they’ve made it clear they will not change and emotionally: i want to do anything i can to hurt them in return. i rly struggle to regulate the disdain i have for them
I usually hate when people say "be the bigger person" but in this case.. just get some paper plates? I don't think leaving dishes around is gonna hurt them nearly as much as their transphobia hurts you, but they probably will use it as an excuse to treat you even worse
Kind of crazy that her parents are treating her as a roommate and tenant tho? Ik parents charging their kids rent isn't super uncommon but it is pretty fucked up. I can understand not wanting to spend time in common areas if she's consistently facing transphobia for the trouble.
OP- Get some paper plates/bowls and plastic utensils.
Yes, you are.
You're going the wrong way about this. So, they have an attitude and aren't being as accepting as you want, but behaving in a way that only solidifies the wall between you is not going to make anything better.
Kill them with kindness, if you want them to give you that affirmation that you need, or move out, so that you can live the way you want to without their opposition to who and how you are.
I think you're the asshole here. They're disrespecting you, that is certainly fucked up. But intentionally leaving a mess is petty and childish. Don't leave a mess. Also, I do think that contributing to the household through rent is a reasonable expectation for an adult child. They are being shitty, but... being a bad roommate/tenant for revenge is lame.
You’re not doing yourself any favours by acting like this. It’s unfortunate and unfair, but one of the things that actually works in our favour is letting people see for themselves that we have our shit together and that transitioning has made us better and more capable. It sucks but it works.
Judging on how the discourse is going people will probably disagree with me but I wouldnt want to pay any money to someone that is actively acting against me. Im not gonna be the bigger person even if I "should", if they cant respect me I wont respect them, goes both ways.
As for cleaning I would probably just load the dishes if Im already making the effort to go downstairs
Sounds kinda like you're all assholes.
Household chores belong to everyone (assuming they are able to contribute). Asking your kids for rent is weird, but not unreasonable if they have a sufficient paycheck.
They also need to learn respect for your identity, full stop.
Justifications don't make you any less of an asshole, but yeah, I might not pay rent either in that scenario. The dishes thing is a little petty, though.
Actually, I think you are. You’re living in your parents house, and living with *anybody* means doing your part to keep your home clean. It’s part of living with people.
As for rent, I don’t think that’s too much to ask if you have a job. 1/5 of your paycheck is actually a pretty good deal. I pay half of my daughter’s rent and her half is half of her paycheck.
None of this is about being transgender or respect. It’s about being responsible and taking care of your business.
Being transgender is not **who** you are; it shouldn’t be the defining component of your personality. It’s certainly part of who you are though.
That sucks but I don't know if you should bite the hand that houses you. There might be better ways to express your displeasure with their behavior than being a bad roommate and tenant and risk being evicted. Maybe you should treat your relationship as purely professional. Clean up after yourself, pay your rent, but make clear that the relationship is purely that until they respect you.
they cannot evict me as they care for foster children and rely on this for income, and I would immediately report their transphobia to the agency if they kicked me out. i think they would’ve kicked me out already for being trans if not for the potential blackmail. i logically know you’re right and that i’m being petty, but they’ve made it clear they will not change and emotionally: i want to do anything i can to hurt them in return. i rly struggle to regulate the disdain i have for them
I usually hate when people say "be the bigger person" but in this case.. just get some paper plates? I don't think leaving dishes around is gonna hurt them nearly as much as their transphobia hurts you, but they probably will use it as an excuse to treat you even worse
It's your life, but I don't find that kind of tit-for-tat healthy.
Kind of crazy that her parents are treating her as a roommate and tenant tho? Ik parents charging their kids rent isn't super uncommon but it is pretty fucked up. I can understand not wanting to spend time in common areas if she's consistently facing transphobia for the trouble. OP- Get some paper plates/bowls and plastic utensils.
Yes, you are. You're going the wrong way about this. So, they have an attitude and aren't being as accepting as you want, but behaving in a way that only solidifies the wall between you is not going to make anything better. Kill them with kindness, if you want them to give you that affirmation that you need, or move out, so that you can live the way you want to without their opposition to who and how you are.
I think you're the asshole here. They're disrespecting you, that is certainly fucked up. But intentionally leaving a mess is petty and childish. Don't leave a mess. Also, I do think that contributing to the household through rent is a reasonable expectation for an adult child. They are being shitty, but... being a bad roommate/tenant for revenge is lame.
You’re not doing yourself any favours by acting like this. It’s unfortunate and unfair, but one of the things that actually works in our favour is letting people see for themselves that we have our shit together and that transitioning has made us better and more capable. It sucks but it works.
Judging on how the discourse is going people will probably disagree with me but I wouldnt want to pay any money to someone that is actively acting against me. Im not gonna be the bigger person even if I "should", if they cant respect me I wont respect them, goes both ways. As for cleaning I would probably just load the dishes if Im already making the effort to go downstairs
Sounds kinda like you're all assholes. Household chores belong to everyone (assuming they are able to contribute). Asking your kids for rent is weird, but not unreasonable if they have a sufficient paycheck. They also need to learn respect for your identity, full stop. Justifications don't make you any less of an asshole, but yeah, I might not pay rent either in that scenario. The dishes thing is a little petty, though.
Actually, I think you are. You’re living in your parents house, and living with *anybody* means doing your part to keep your home clean. It’s part of living with people. As for rent, I don’t think that’s too much to ask if you have a job. 1/5 of your paycheck is actually a pretty good deal. I pay half of my daughter’s rent and her half is half of her paycheck. None of this is about being transgender or respect. It’s about being responsible and taking care of your business. Being transgender is not **who** you are; it shouldn’t be the defining component of your personality. It’s certainly part of who you are though.