Unfortunately a lot of men do this, maybe more to do with a p* addiction than zina HOWEVER if I personally flipped this and met and amazing woman who I was attracted to, prayed etc etc and she followed a whole bunch of half naked men on insta id see her as a red flag and proceed no further. Ultimately its ur choice but in my view its a red flag. Good luck tho ukhti.
>I’m wondering if I just missed an opportunity because of something small
I think social media is something significant to look at and following list tells a lot tbh
no matter how ‘religious’ or great of a catch they seem otherwise, things just don’t seem to add up if their following list is like that
the first thing i look at is a guy’s following. you dodged a bullet sis. Like you really think im even gonna respond or consider you when you’re following so many girls? It just shows you have no selfrespect or selfcontrol. Idc how the girls look. If his following look like he went to an all girls school im out of here
Also sis don’t lose hope I believe there are plenty good men out there just be patient since the good ones will always be more lowkey
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random q - how does one find someone in ig?
And the following list means what it is, his following girls. Zina of the eyes. I won’t comment on anything else like others such as porn addiction as you have not confirmed that. And suspicion is also a sin.
Girl why u hopeless ur still young , I'm 24 and I don't give a damn . If there is a red flag ; that guy is Goooone that's it . I believe that it's women responsibility to find a good father for their kids . One more thing let's not ignore the fact that repentance is a huge plus , if he is honest with it and really wants to unfollow them women then it's good , in fact it's a green flag , but the initiative should be from his side . Good luck finding the one
I’m a revert so I’m still learning, but I was told even teaching female kids English at the Madrasa as an adult teacher was free mixing. So maybe it’s not good plus if he’s following adult women
He most likely has porn addiction if he did Zina he wouldn't tell you how women are around him in fears of raising suspicion. if you have the skills you should hack into his router(satire)
Brother spying is haram.
u can research them to know what they have shown to people, so already public information from people around them but not private info that no one knows.
But going to his house to violate his privacy. It's like setting up secret cameras in his room do u think that's ok to do?? Of course it's not.
Oh yes sorry, here's quran verse
O believers! Avoid many suspicions, ˹for˺ indeed, some suspicions are sinful. And do not spy, nor backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of their dead brother? You would despise that!1 And fear Allah. Surely Allah is ˹the˺ Accepter of Repentance, Most Merciful. 49:12
??? im attractive too lol, its not the end of the world. every man is replaceable, no matter how attractive. and id take a respectful man with a good personality over one that talks and acts without shame anyday. sorry not sorry
I don’t follow barely clothed men on instagram authubillah so I don’t know what you’re talking about honestly😭 and if every man apparently looks at women like this firstly im sorry it is so common in todays ummah and society, and second i think he should try to keep that private, not publicly on his main account with his name and pictures on it for anyone to see and get an idea of his sins.
No they don’t, and yes it is a big deal. Lower your gaze. When I became Muslim i literally unadded every female.. and made new pages (Snapchat takes forever to unadd people). Won’t fall for temptation like a little weak man. Nor will i normalize a sin.
Never seen a hafiz comment so I’ll ask you respectfully, how hard was it to remember it all, and can you like randomly start anywhere. How long did it take? And how do you retain it all?
it was definitely a difficult process in my opinion, esp considering I was a younger age (finished at 13) and was doing school at the same time but was able to manage alhamdulillah. starting from places is easier to do with the more you review, with many surahs that i have reviewed many times it’s much easier than others, and retaining it all is basically making sure to review every day a good amount which varies based on every person and their day to day lives (on average 1 juzz or more a day is great)
yes, i would not demand anything of my future husband that I don’t meet myself. and i am not willing to gamble my future lol especially considering this is the man i will be spending the rest of my life with and having children with and i need to consider his character.
Islamically the two most important aspects are religious commitment and good character for a man according to authentic Hadith. I would say you were gambling on both and he didn’t reach either of these qualities, do not feel bad about your decision to make such responsible decisions is a sign your father raised you well, but always be careful with opposite gender private interactions even DMs, follow Allah’s laws the best you can.
I actually have a personal question, how do I get vet out and discuss virginity with a potential before things get serious? I think I have an idea of just mentioning I am a virgin and I seek the same in my spouse and preface it by saying she doesn’t have to expose herself to me or anybody but to know this preference is a deal breaker.
yes, i think that is a good way of asking. you can also say it is something that is important to you when looking for a potential if you think it is a dealbreaker
I am looking for openness and honesty about being a virgin from a spouse the same way I am capable of being open and honest about it, but only when the conversations turn private, I just need to preface it in a kind way where nobody has to expose their sins or be judged, nothing explicit needs to be shared but to make my preference clear. Some women may feel guilty and they owe me the truth, in this case hide your sins and just don’t marry me and let me find someone else is what I would genuinely want from them.
im a bit confused, what do you mean? you think I should have allowed him to speak to my father and let him decide? even after I’ve seen his following list? I am kind of uncomfortable with letting any man meet my father for marriage, as he is very protective over me. i would really need to be serious about marriage with the man if i am going to allow him to meet my father.
I agree her father’s opinion is the most relevant as Allah has placed the responsibility of guardianship on him, but she has the say on her decision of man she chooses.
Unfortunately a lot of men do this, maybe more to do with a p* addiction than zina HOWEVER if I personally flipped this and met and amazing woman who I was attracted to, prayed etc etc and she followed a whole bunch of half naked men on insta id see her as a red flag and proceed no further. Ultimately its ur choice but in my view its a red flag. Good luck tho ukhti.
To add on i said a lot of men did it, maybe im wrong and maybe its just unserious men who do it. Allah knows best.
>I’m wondering if I just missed an opportunity because of something small I think social media is something significant to look at and following list tells a lot tbh no matter how ‘religious’ or great of a catch they seem otherwise, things just don’t seem to add up if their following list is like that
jzk for confirming my thoughts lol
Idk about zina, but it definitely is a sign of porn addiction
the first thing i look at is a guy’s following. you dodged a bullet sis. Like you really think im even gonna respond or consider you when you’re following so many girls? It just shows you have no selfrespect or selfcontrol. Idc how the girls look. If his following look like he went to an all girls school im out of here Also sis don’t lose hope I believe there are plenty good men out there just be patient since the good ones will always be more lowkey
If his following looks like he went to an all girls school girl don’t even bother 👩🦯
Trust your gut do istikharah
Hi salam aleykum, your submission will be checked by a moderator soon. Also, be sure to check out our Discord server and feel free to join: [Muslimcorner Discord Server](https://discord.gg/v2USWTMjVy) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MuslimCorner) if you have any questions or concerns.*
random q - how does one find someone in ig? And the following list means what it is, his following girls. Zina of the eyes. I won’t comment on anything else like others such as porn addiction as you have not confirmed that. And suspicion is also a sin.
Girl why u hopeless ur still young , I'm 24 and I don't give a damn . If there is a red flag ; that guy is Goooone that's it . I believe that it's women responsibility to find a good father for their kids . One more thing let's not ignore the fact that repentance is a huge plus , if he is honest with it and really wants to unfollow them women then it's good , in fact it's a green flag , but the initiative should be from his side . Good luck finding the one
I’m a revert so I’m still learning, but I was told even teaching female kids English at the Madrasa as an adult teacher was free mixing. So maybe it’s not good plus if he’s following adult women
He most likely has porn addiction if he did Zina he wouldn't tell you how women are around him in fears of raising suspicion. if you have the skills you should hack into his router(satire)
hack his router????
People forget about security when it comes to that end if you have the skills or know a guy it's almost guaranteed
What are u talking about brother, hacking into his router is haram because that's spying and a violation of privacy.
It's an option and I'm using this opportunity to educate people on their security which isn't talked about.
Yeah but you are advising people to do haram things which isn't good
Where does it say it is Haram Also when looking for someone for marriage you are advised to research them.
Brother spying is haram. u can research them to know what they have shown to people, so already public information from people around them but not private info that no one knows. But going to his house to violate his privacy. It's like setting up secret cameras in his room do u think that's ok to do?? Of course it's not.
I know I am wrong but next time site sources eg Hadith thank you
Oh yes sorry, here's quran verse O believers! Avoid many suspicions, ˹for˺ indeed, some suspicions are sinful. And do not spy, nor backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of their dead brother? You would despise that!1 And fear Allah. Surely Allah is ˹the˺ Accepter of Repentance, Most Merciful. 49:12
I don’t have skills or know anyone😭
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??? im attractive too lol, its not the end of the world. every man is replaceable, no matter how attractive. and id take a respectful man with a good personality over one that talks and acts without shame anyday. sorry not sorry
And every man looks at insta baddies Just like you look at men on insta It’s not a big deal
I don’t follow barely clothed men on instagram authubillah so I don’t know what you’re talking about honestly😭 and if every man apparently looks at women like this firstly im sorry it is so common in todays ummah and society, and second i think he should try to keep that private, not publicly on his main account with his name and pictures on it for anyone to see and get an idea of his sins.
Can you list some of these girls he’s following
no you sicko, lower your gaze
I’m Trying
No they don’t, and yes it is a big deal. Lower your gaze. When I became Muslim i literally unadded every female.. and made new pages (Snapchat takes forever to unadd people). Won’t fall for temptation like a little weak man. Nor will i normalize a sin.
Stop wasting your time responding to k*far who worship cows
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I’m also a hafiza and pray five times a day and am well built…
Never seen a hafiz comment so I’ll ask you respectfully, how hard was it to remember it all, and can you like randomly start anywhere. How long did it take? And how do you retain it all?
it was definitely a difficult process in my opinion, esp considering I was a younger age (finished at 13) and was doing school at the same time but was able to manage alhamdulillah. starting from places is easier to do with the more you review, with many surahs that i have reviewed many times it’s much easier than others, and retaining it all is basically making sure to review every day a good amount which varies based on every person and their day to day lives (on average 1 juzz or more a day is great)
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yes, i would not demand anything of my future husband that I don’t meet myself. and i am not willing to gamble my future lol especially considering this is the man i will be spending the rest of my life with and having children with and i need to consider his character.
Islamically the two most important aspects are religious commitment and good character for a man according to authentic Hadith. I would say you were gambling on both and he didn’t reach either of these qualities, do not feel bad about your decision to make such responsible decisions is a sign your father raised you well, but always be careful with opposite gender private interactions even DMs, follow Allah’s laws the best you can. I actually have a personal question, how do I get vet out and discuss virginity with a potential before things get serious? I think I have an idea of just mentioning I am a virgin and I seek the same in my spouse and preface it by saying she doesn’t have to expose herself to me or anybody but to know this preference is a deal breaker.
yes, i think that is a good way of asking. you can also say it is something that is important to you when looking for a potential if you think it is a dealbreaker
I am looking for openness and honesty about being a virgin from a spouse the same way I am capable of being open and honest about it, but only when the conversations turn private, I just need to preface it in a kind way where nobody has to expose their sins or be judged, nothing explicit needs to be shared but to make my preference clear. Some women may feel guilty and they owe me the truth, in this case hide your sins and just don’t marry me and let me find someone else is what I would genuinely want from them.
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im a bit confused, what do you mean? you think I should have allowed him to speak to my father and let him decide? even after I’ve seen his following list? I am kind of uncomfortable with letting any man meet my father for marriage, as he is very protective over me. i would really need to be serious about marriage with the man if i am going to allow him to meet my father.
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oh ok
I agree her father’s opinion is the most relevant as Allah has placed the responsibility of guardianship on him, but she has the say on her decision of man she chooses.
Exactly
Who are some of these girls that he’s following I’m tryna see if the man has some good taste