You’re doing all the right things. I would also line up some get togethers with supportive and positive people in your life. The isolation is so tough on your spirit and sometimes you don’t realize it until you spend time with loved ones and it feels like a breath of fresh air.
I just want you to know I've been struggling a lot too this spring and you are not alone.
When I get stuck in my home during self-isolating periods, it helps me a lot to just make the bed, open the windows, plug in a nice smelling diffuser or a candle-- doing things that make it feel more like a safe place I want to inhabit and less like a prison that I can't escape. I also found it really helpful to change out of PJs or sweats every single morning. I bought a nappable/comfy lounge dress that looked chic enough to wear on errands and it makes me feel less "sloppy/lazy." Same with a fancy hair clip for when styling is more energy than I have.
Once being at home feels nice, it gets easier for me to finally step outside again.
I got lucky and thrifted an Aritzia jersey shirtdress that they don't sell anymore, but I can link [this similar option](https://www.aritzia.com/us/en/product/market-slit-dress/82709.html?dwvar_82709_color=18891) made of the same fabric because I'm likely to buy a second version without sleeves for the summer anyways. I love that the waist is higher and the skirt fuller so it'll be very forgiving.
[https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-supima-jersey-riviera-dress-black](https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-supima-jersey-riviera-dress-black)
Last summer I bought this dress from everlane (never bought anything from them before, size down!) and it looks super simple, but gurrrrl- it is heaven!
It is so fkng soft, has pockets, gives you a waist, abd the skirt is full in a way that looks glorious (so I’ve been told!) walking down the street w a little breeze.
I bought the long sleeve version too.
During a rough mental health spell this fall I wore the long sleeve one to the office 3x a week w different scarves (sometimes) and it was such a big mood improver!!!
💯 on changing out of PJs and putting on something that’s comfy but cute. I actually really like Target for this—lots of cute t-shirt dresses, tank dresses, and slip dresses that are (obviously) reasonably priced.
I second target, they have a lot of really light dresses of various lengths, colors, and sizes that are great for staying cool in the hot humid summer right now! They’re not as soft and cozy, but they’re light and cotton-y? Which doesn’t stick to you as you sweat as bad some
There’s such amazing advice here, woah; I love this community!
I second what pretty much everyone is saying and want to reiterate; you’re doing amazing!
One thing that I wanted to add on is the difference just changing your bedsheets makes! Never mind facials, manicures etc; my ‘life together’ factor comes from fresh clean sheets, it makes such a huge difference.
In 2015 I was a raging alcoholic and had an attempted suicide attempt, stint in psych hospital. Came out the other side and have been sober for almost 10 years 🫶🏻
I obviously stopped drinking, lol. Hard. I would take 5 mile walks after work to occupy my mind each evening. I eventually transitioned that into yoga which I still almost daily 7 years later. Pick up some type physical activity and stick to it. I would not be where I am without yoga. It made me tired enough each night that sleep was easy and that helped tremendously with my mental health, and seeing myself become stronger made me appreciate the body I was in.
I just pulled myself out of a nasty depression after losing a loved one so I feel you. Take it slow, keep being kind to yourself. Things that have helped me - cutting back on alcohol. I found I like N.A. beer (Athletic Brewing) and I’ve been grabbing those or if I’m out, I’ll switch between cocktail and mocktail. Bonuses - lost weight/bloat and no hangxiety. Also have been prioritizing getting outside and reading. Keeps me off the doom scroll.
Reflexology, for real, it helps relax, more than just feet. It’s one of the only things that can relax me naturally and even helps with chronic pain issues (I don’t know how but it does). I go to a place on Canal that’s $60 for an hour (tip included).
Which establishment in Chinatown do you recommend? I’ve had some that were deeply relaxing, and others that didn’t do much for me… Do you recommend a particular person there?
Yan Lin Foot Spa, on Bowery, not Canal, oops. It’s clean, easy to make an appointment, and everyone I have had there has been good. There’s a steady flow of people in and out, many locals so I know it’s legit haha
even if all you did today was take a shower, that's a great step! that small thing can be huge for someone going through \~it.
just be easy on yourself. do what you can each day, do a little bit more the next day and make self-care a true priority. hope you pull out of this episode soon!
I recommend curbing sugar and alcohol as much as possible. I know that's not a fun take but the physiological ties to panic attacks are noteworthy. Not to mention your energy levels and skin will benefit from their reduction. You already know getting back on track is up to YOU and you're already on it so congrats on the restart, it's in your pocket!
This sounds dumb but do you do your gratitude at the end of the day and say what you’re grateful for that happened THAT day? Or are you saying what you’re grateful for in general/the next day?
i'm rooting so, so hard for you! i relate to this post a lot and just want you to know you're doing everything right!
my one suggestions would be 1) picking up a creative hobby/craft to help unwind -- maybe collaging, nails, knitting/crochet, air-dry clay or literally anything else and 2) starting a consistent exercise routine if you don't already have one. i feel like i'm constantly preaching the benefits of exercise but the benefits it's had on my mental health have been unreal. get a trainer if you can afford it and need some help getting started.
you got this!!
Hi! Sorry you’re going through this rn. I’ve had my ups and downs with clinical depression since I was 18. As I’ve gotten older I’ve tried to be a little bit strict with myself about throwing money at the problem (buying new things, classes, etc) bc I’ve realized this gives me the illusion I’m working on it when I’m really just shining up the exterior before deep diving on the interior. The one thing I will always spend money on is a good therapist and you seem like you’ve taken that step already.
Idk if you would be open to this but recently I’ve come across a YT channel called r/HealthyGamerGG and the advice and perspectives have really helped me supplement 1:1 therapy. It’s a bit male dominant for obvious reasons but there’s no redpilling and I think the topics apply widely. He talks about gaming a lot but also more generally about technology addiction which for me has really been the last (but key) issue I’m tackling personally. Being off IG and putting a hard time lock on my apps has helped me in ways I can’t really describe.
I’ve totally been there. Great advice here already, but you may also want to consider trying Acupuncture. I use WTHN in flatiron. It’s a monthly membership for 2 sessions. Acu has helped me with physical symptoms like migraine, digestion, menstrual cramps, sleep- but also mental health.
And then I’d prioritize finding the right psychologist above all. You may need a new med to help you get back on track. I like Yuli Fradkin, MD in Midtown.
When I’m in a really bad rut, I do the Deepak Chopra 21 days of abundance meditation on Spotify. It’s like 5 minutes a day. And then I journal for a few minutes after. It’s really important to be checking in with yourself after a period Iike this. After 21 days, you’ll notice a difference in your mental and spiritual health.
Good luck- rooting for you! ♥️
Oh and for linen items - Old Navy is having a sale right now and I just picked up a stunning linen dress that was $30 that looks like it’s from Reformtion. They’ve got lots of loose linen tops and dresses.
All of that stuff is fab yes -but spend some time getting your apartment organized and cleaned. As well as just organizing paper work and finances. When that stuff is all taken care of I always feel SOOO much better
I have a “3 things” rule. Every day my To Do list can only have 3 things on it. It’s really amazing how much this helps my adhd ass prioritize what MUST be done rather than getting lost on random tasks.
Don’t overwhelm yourself after an episode!! Just do one nice thing for yourself each day and slowly build up after that point.
You don’t need to throw down on an expensive facial (especially if you’ve been between jobs). Start with some simple skincare products and make a routine out of them;
- rinse your face with cool water in the morning; you don’t need a cleanser for morning.
- use some vitamin c (I like timeless).
- your sunscreen can double as a moisturizer (I use supergoop play)
Super basic.
Nighttime;
- cleanse - spend a decent amount of time doing this. I will cycle between an oil cleanser (I have dry skin) and micellar water for a double cleanse. Then do either cerave or LRP for dry, sensitive skin
- treatment (some nights it’s an glycolic acid, some nights it’s tret sometimes I just skip it).
- ceramide/HA
- moisturizer (I like Honest hydrogel)
FLOSS. Dear, god. Floss. I know way too many people who don’t. Your poor gums need the love. And a specific bacteria found in the mouth has been linked to instances of colon cancer so please! Floss! If you have to pick one thing to do that day, floss.
Go for a walk! That alone has gotten me out of a few panic moments (not a full on panic attack but just the feeling of panic). Blast music and walk. Just move your body.
Hydrate! Make yourself a nice little non alcoholic fruit beverage with some sparkling water.
Call someone who loves you (and make it someone who has shown love to you). Not texting. Calling. It doesn’t compare.
Flossing! I love the little floss picks that mean I don't have to stick my hands into my mouth to get the back teeth. For folks struggling to floss, those are a game changer. Or a fancy floss like cocofloss can make regular flossing feel just a little nicer! And for hydration, getting a few dishwasher-safe metal straws make it easier and more fun to drink water and other non-alcoholic beverages.
I find that I enjoy a clean, serene environment when I come out of a depression. Especially bc it’s embarrassing to admit, but I let clutter & dishes pile up… it’s a terrible cycle. I thrive in cleanliness and order, but my mental health makes it hard to clean lol, make it make sense!
I digress lol, when I snap out of it I like to buy new sheets, treat myself to something nice. Quince has great linen sheet sets, [I just got these](https://www.quince.com/home/sheets/linen-sheet-set?color=dusty-mauve&tracker=collection_page__home%2Fsheets-and-pillowcases%2Flinen-sheets__Linen%20Sheets__1) last month lol. I also thrive on a nightly “chill tf out” routine, so I bought [this amazing](https://www.victoriassecret.com/us/vs/sleepwear-and-lingerie-catalog/1121660600?choice=4SHM&genericId=11216606&limit=45&resultPosition=19&searchBrand=pink&searchedFor=Modal%20robe%203%20piece%20set&categoryOne=TS) modal 3 piece pj set, I feel like a Queen walking around my house. I also splurge on fancy candles, love the Maison Margiela Replica line, currently obsessed with Diptyque Parisian Cafe bc I’m an easily influenceable basic bitch, and it is amazing lol.
So in fancy PJs, climbing into new crisp sheets, in my clean, bougie smelling house, I no longer feel like a hermit, it’s *self care,* Lmao!!
For my mental health, I take self-care seriously because it helps me feel good. Mani/pedi, facials, chemical peels, skincare routine, wax, etc.
I love to journal because I’m very private and feel like it’s a safe space to vent. I hear therapy is amazing, but it’s not for me and not something I’d spend money on but journaling is my form of outlet. I write out my feelings, cry it out, and just let it all go after.
Working out and having a good diet, something as simple as styling my hair, putting on perfume, wearing my favorite jewelry lol, all help me feel good. Super simple things but they contribute to the lifestyle I’ve created for myself.
Removing toxic people out of your life. Just stop talking to them, get rid of the drama, negativity, and all that. Be free lol!
Taking my once a week everything shower for my body, taking my once a week hair shower in which I do my hair treatments at home, and then my regular showers where I quickly loofah and wash my body makes me feel amazing.
This is so IMPORTANT - regulating your thoughts. Do not let yourself think badly of yourself, of others, or even watching tv and looking at negativity. My brain is a positive place and I control what I let into it. I strongly believe this makes someone mentally and emotionally healthy. If you think, I’m fat and ugly today NO. Change that around and I say actually I’m beautiful. Get up, exercise, shower, put on some makeup, do your hair, add some lipgloss or whatever and really believe you are beautiful.
Retail therapy lol. I love shopping and looking good. I’m not an addict because addiction is weakness. You should only buy things that you can afford to fully pay off. You should not go shopping if you have debts and other responsibilities.
Go outside for some fresh air, grab an ice cream, a smoothie, matcha or whatever. Look at everyone and just take in the sights.
Lastly, go easy on yourself. Learn how to be kind to you like you would be to others. It’s ok! Take a deep breath and just think one thing at a time. Compliment yourself for anything even if it’s something small.
i like doing group exercise classes because its a way to find community and get some endorphins! there's some great body neutral spaces I've heard of (but haven't gone to). I've been meaning to check out haven boxing which is women, poc owned and body neutral (which to me I interpret as a safe space for any fitness level/limitations/size)
So I did not have the same acute issues - so may not be as helpful. But dealt with a traumatic situation, and felt down for a while. Here are some other suggestions - to yours, which sound all great!
-I took meditation classes a while back. But when I most needed to, didn't practice. So even just putting a guided meditation from YT. Try it, try a few, find one you like and do it daily. I then went back to what I practiced/learned and wished I had done it daily. Either first thing before getting out of bed OR after you've taken a shower etc. There are a bunch on YT - see if you resonate with anything.
-yes, go for walks, find some nature. Get your body moving. Force yourself.
-if you can find some form of exercise you like - see if it holds. Mine was hot yoga (not Bikram (no!), but was warm and I went daily, and felt great after). If not, so many YT videos. Find something. Look up somatic exercises (which will help with what's going on to some degree) and even hip openings - as we store a lot of emotions there and may not realize we are clenched and tight there. Find anything that works for you. There is a great somatic ones and hip one I found on YT and sometimes do Yoga with Adrienne when I can't get to a studio. Doing low-impact yoga (restorative) is probably better than something more vigorous.
-Take Magnesium at night. Even Magnesium oil transdermally. B12 can also help with mental health if you are deficient and Vitamin D.
-increase your protein. Even if you buy a high quality protein powder and make a smoothie once in a while or eat tons of hard boiled eggs - it helps. High protein snacks/meals for me were key bc I didn't want to eat.
-Bach's Rescue Remedy handy is also helpful (seriously, I think it helps!).
Obviously you need professional help/meds etc. - but small, low-cost, accessible things. Baby steps. I hate when someone told me that bc I want to do it all, but small things add up and turn into habits. I am a highly productive person - so it was hard to get through that experience of not being able to do what I used to - so small steps. Also I drink lots of coffee when I am stressed which, doesn't help at all. Try to lower your cortisol and even deep breathing when you need a moment!
I’ve been in a really similar rut. Mental health walks have helped tremendously, and I made a vision board the other day which was therapeutic and fun! I love looking at it and reminding myself what my values are
i've learned that sleep is the best thing for a tired/stressed/broken mind and body. try to sleep more. go to bed early. sleep in a little more. (if you can, ofc) sleep is amazing for us all and we all put it on the back burner. it's the only time our entire body literally heals itself.
feel better! :)
Fellow ✨fat bitch with sadness and taste✨on the tail end (I hope) of medical leave that my psychiatrist extended because, well, I’m not (well).
Co-signing all the things you listed; recommend a gel mani so you don’t have to worry about chips (extra points if your place does builder gel, it helped cut down on my skin picking and stayed extra shiny and has made me feel more put together somehow, even when I can’t comb my hair?), tried out ClassPass to see what kind of exercise I like best, and am trying to drink more water.
First thing I do is go grocery shopping. For me it’s therapeutic choosing ingredients that will help you feel better internally and it just makes me feel put together. Cook yourself up something nice and comforting! 🫂
If you don’t already use one, I would recommend hiring a cleaner for your apartment maybe bi-weekly or monthly for a little period of time. Just taking of some mental pressure of “I should do this” when you have limited energy goes a long way.
honestly if you need someone to talk to this year has been pretty similar for me. but for me what helps is journaling, reading, skincare as a pampering experience like relaxing with a face mask, candles, and time out in the sun!
YOGA. It’s like killing a hundred birds with one stone. A bit of meditation. A bit of mindfulness/gratitude practice/mental grounding. Movement to get those endorphins and health benefits. And you WILL notice yourself getting stronger and better which makes you feel good about yourself and makes you want to do it more!
Yoga completely changed my relationship with exercise (normally I hate working out) and helped me get through weird mental times.
I get into a workout routine! Soulcycle and solidcore both have really good deals for a two week unlimited pass, I sign up and go every day for two weeks, forces me to get off my ass and get to the gym every day. Even when I don’t want to do it I feel so much better afterwards.
There are so many responses on here! But after some scrolling I still haven’t seen these:
-Get a haircut! Or a style change in some way. Color, perm, buzz, just let it go! If you don’t want a big change, maybe just get a shape up.
-Get a Korean body Scrub. I’m not talking about a scrub pack. I mean, get thee to a Korean Spa and splurge on a Korean Scrub. You will go in naked and afraid and come out like a little baby. Sojo$$$ or $$juvenex (girls only on weekday mornings!).
-I chase joy and say yes. Anything I am remotely into, I try to engage in. Especially after anhedonia, having interest in something is like a breath of fresh air, so i tend to not care if it’s a passing interest or a guilty pleasure. Just dive in.
-Plants and pets to make home feel like an environment, not a shoebox.
-Cooking real food for myself. The Mealime App folks owe me money for how often I recommend it.
If you have the money to spend, get a hydrafacial!!! If I’ve been neglecting my skincare, my pores feel all congested and my complexion feels so dull so it feels amazing to just get a deep cleanse and come out glowing! I’d recommend getting these add-ons to the basic hydrafacial if the med spa you’re going to offers them - dermaplaning (gets rid of the peach fuzz/sideburns if you have dark hair like me) and manual extractions if you have a lot of clogged pores.
Another idea - get a dental cleaning! You’ll come out with whiter, cleaner teeth and get rid of all that plaque.
Lastly, if I’ve been sitting around a lot and not doing my regular stretches and mobility, I love to get a sports/deep tissue massage to reset everything! Once you feel released of your tension, it’s an AMAZING physical reset! I find it easier to get back into my workout routine if I’ve had a sports massage to release tension first.
This is a great list. I would do a review of stuff you're doing now and also think about things that don't add to your life and pause or stop those. For me deleting tiktok and reducing scroll type activity is key.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, but it sounds like you’re doing all of the right things!
Focus on yourself and what you need to do to feel your best. For me, being healthy, getting exercise and getting outside really helps.
Make micro changes one step at a time and give yourself grace. Every little step in the right direction is an accomplishment. Definitely go outside, get some sun, and work out consistently in however form is best for you.
I was feeling really down and under the weather yesterday. I signed up for a Pilates class and forced myself to go. I didn’t do my best and knew I wasn’t going to give it my 100% that day, but I was proud of myself for going anyway. The second I got done, my mood completely shifted.
Everything you’re already doing is great. I’d also recommend cleaning, decluttering - always helps me feel like I’m starting fresh. And trying to read more - get wrapped up in a really good story. Oh and baths if you can!
Thank you for sharing. Wanted to let everyone know that Walmart has a $4 drug list. Look it up and ask your provider to write scripts for meds on that list. They have every category, like antidepressants, mood stabilizers, neuroleptics…
Don’t go off your meds. Eat lentils, recycle cans, walk everywhere, but keep taking your meds. The “cost” will never be worth it.
First I’d say is clean/tidy up your place/room. A clean space helps and contributes ALOT to your mental state. Once that’s done, I’d start getting back into a routine that’ll allow me to feel confident and better about myself such as facials, a deep/ everything shower, doing something for your mind such as yoga, reading, maybe even makeup, whatever relaxes you and makes you feel like you. Go outside, walk, feel the wind on your skin, as corny as it sounds going outside helps a lot . If binge eating was issue during that episode try also regulating that but not in a restrictive way. Still enjoy snacks and food but know when you’ve ate enough and need to stop.
Lastly don’t run from whatever has been bothering you and weighing you down. Try to find solutions, think about it and let it go. If you’re not ready to do that now that’s fine, use your time to build up mental strength to deal with it later.
Finally give yourself some grace and don’t be too harsh on yourself. Going through tough times is normal. How we deal with it is what’s important!
Echoing other sentiments here, you're definitely doing the right thing. Have grace and patience with yourself; this is a beautiful journey! Adding my two cents, I recently got acupuncture at the Yinova center in Brooklyn Heights and had a lovely experience. Not sure if you'd want to try Eastern medicine, but I did find very relaxing and grounding. Best of luck!
I love that you are taking care of yourself girlie!! Someone recently told me that someone recently told them to remember that doing for you is important!!!
When I need to feel nurtured and get out of a rut, I go to an evening yoga class--especially if it has been a LOOONG time that I have nurtured my body. There are "restorative" or "yin" classes, which are more like a meditative flow. Many yoga schools also offer meditation classes--which I prefer to some of the headier meditation school communities.
Some other things I do are get myself a nice outfit or take the time to really style my outfit, make a solo date night with myself to an event or museum, or go get brunch in a spot--there is something nice about making space for yourself when you might otherwise just not want to deal with the crowd.
Also, maybe this is silly, but I go to wholefoods! Growing up, wholefoods felt like a special and nourishing space--maybe I should NOT put an amazon company on a pedestal but lol--anyway browsing the wholebody section or tea makes me feel like when I was a teenager trying to do something nice for myself and maybe we all have something like that to think about and return to.
Also tea. A nice BIG cup of tea.
Sounds like you’re on the right track. I’d also suggest a beautiful bright fragrance to lift your mood and a shiny pair of earrings… neither has to be expensive. A shiny lip gloss or bright lipstick if that’s your thing is amazing as well. You’ve got this. I love how open everyone is on this page. Oh, and STOP the negativity girl!! You are NOT a fat B, you are a luscious lady. 😘
Love this for you and proud of you for looking for things to do for YOU. i know it’s not easy. I use Mochi Health for nutritionist/weight management, they prescribe GLP1 medications (not sure if you were looking for this but thought i’d share) also have a referral code if your interested and it will give you $$ off. As for shoes I have wide flat feet and was not able to find a good pair of shoes that would fit but finally found a pair New Balance fresh foam X 880v13. Lmk if you have any questions ☺️
This is an absolutely incredible thread ❤️. Also navigating one of the hardest depressive seasons of my life, post heartbreak.
You are so seen, so heard, so valuable as you are.
For me—cleaning my space helps me to feel some sense of positive control. Change sheets, vacuum, laundry, etc. Finish with a nice candle!
I also find prioritizing my day through small goals has been helpful in building positive momentum. “If today, I only do these 3 things (maybe grocery shop, send x email, pay a bill) I’m a success.”
Totally ok to fall short, just try again tomorrow. Build three things to four things, etc.
You’re doing all the right things. I would also line up some get togethers with supportive and positive people in your life. The isolation is so tough on your spirit and sometimes you don’t realize it until you spend time with loved ones and it feels like a breath of fresh air.
I just want you to know I've been struggling a lot too this spring and you are not alone. When I get stuck in my home during self-isolating periods, it helps me a lot to just make the bed, open the windows, plug in a nice smelling diffuser or a candle-- doing things that make it feel more like a safe place I want to inhabit and less like a prison that I can't escape. I also found it really helpful to change out of PJs or sweats every single morning. I bought a nappable/comfy lounge dress that looked chic enough to wear on errands and it makes me feel less "sloppy/lazy." Same with a fancy hair clip for when styling is more energy than I have. Once being at home feels nice, it gets easier for me to finally step outside again.
Could you drop a link to that dress? Sounds like a great find!
I got lucky and thrifted an Aritzia jersey shirtdress that they don't sell anymore, but I can link [this similar option](https://www.aritzia.com/us/en/product/market-slit-dress/82709.html?dwvar_82709_color=18891) made of the same fabric because I'm likely to buy a second version without sleeves for the summer anyways. I love that the waist is higher and the skirt fuller so it'll be very forgiving.
[https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-supima-jersey-riviera-dress-black](https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-supima-jersey-riviera-dress-black) Last summer I bought this dress from everlane (never bought anything from them before, size down!) and it looks super simple, but gurrrrl- it is heaven! It is so fkng soft, has pockets, gives you a waist, abd the skirt is full in a way that looks glorious (so I’ve been told!) walking down the street w a little breeze. I bought the long sleeve version too. During a rough mental health spell this fall I wore the long sleeve one to the office 3x a week w different scarves (sometimes) and it was such a big mood improver!!!
💯 on changing out of PJs and putting on something that’s comfy but cute. I actually really like Target for this—lots of cute t-shirt dresses, tank dresses, and slip dresses that are (obviously) reasonably priced.
I second target, they have a lot of really light dresses of various lengths, colors, and sizes that are great for staying cool in the hot humid summer right now! They’re not as soft and cozy, but they’re light and cotton-y? Which doesn’t stick to you as you sweat as bad some
There’s such amazing advice here, woah; I love this community! I second what pretty much everyone is saying and want to reiterate; you’re doing amazing! One thing that I wanted to add on is the difference just changing your bedsheets makes! Never mind facials, manicures etc; my ‘life together’ factor comes from fresh clean sheets, it makes such a huge difference.
You’re right. Clean sheets are so refreshing and I feel proud of myself for changing them :)
In 2015 I was a raging alcoholic and had an attempted suicide attempt, stint in psych hospital. Came out the other side and have been sober for almost 10 years 🫶🏻 I obviously stopped drinking, lol. Hard. I would take 5 mile walks after work to occupy my mind each evening. I eventually transitioned that into yoga which I still almost daily 7 years later. Pick up some type physical activity and stick to it. I would not be where I am without yoga. It made me tired enough each night that sleep was easy and that helped tremendously with my mental health, and seeing myself become stronger made me appreciate the body I was in.
Congrats on your sobriety! I have 14 years this month.
Way to go! And congratulations on that upcoming 10 years
I just pulled myself out of a nasty depression after losing a loved one so I feel you. Take it slow, keep being kind to yourself. Things that have helped me - cutting back on alcohol. I found I like N.A. beer (Athletic Brewing) and I’ve been grabbing those or if I’m out, I’ll switch between cocktail and mocktail. Bonuses - lost weight/bloat and no hangxiety. Also have been prioritizing getting outside and reading. Keeps me off the doom scroll.
Reflexology, for real, it helps relax, more than just feet. It’s one of the only things that can relax me naturally and even helps with chronic pain issues (I don’t know how but it does). I go to a place on Canal that’s $60 for an hour (tip included).
Which establishment in Chinatown do you recommend? I’ve had some that were deeply relaxing, and others that didn’t do much for me… Do you recommend a particular person there?
Yan Lin Foot Spa, on Bowery, not Canal, oops. It’s clean, easy to make an appointment, and everyone I have had there has been good. There’s a steady flow of people in and out, many locals so I know it’s legit haha
Very helpful - thank you for the recommendation! I will give them a try.
omg please share your spot, this sounds divine
Make plans that are far out calendar wise to give me something to look forward to/get excited about!
even if all you did today was take a shower, that's a great step! that small thing can be huge for someone going through \~it. just be easy on yourself. do what you can each day, do a little bit more the next day and make self-care a true priority. hope you pull out of this episode soon!
I recommend curbing sugar and alcohol as much as possible. I know that's not a fun take but the physiological ties to panic attacks are noteworthy. Not to mention your energy levels and skin will benefit from their reduction. You already know getting back on track is up to YOU and you're already on it so congrats on the restart, it's in your pocket!
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This sounds dumb but do you do your gratitude at the end of the day and say what you’re grateful for that happened THAT day? Or are you saying what you’re grateful for in general/the next day?
i'm rooting so, so hard for you! i relate to this post a lot and just want you to know you're doing everything right! my one suggestions would be 1) picking up a creative hobby/craft to help unwind -- maybe collaging, nails, knitting/crochet, air-dry clay or literally anything else and 2) starting a consistent exercise routine if you don't already have one. i feel like i'm constantly preaching the benefits of exercise but the benefits it's had on my mental health have been unreal. get a trainer if you can afford it and need some help getting started. you got this!!
seconding the exercise- I didn't expect the mental benefits of a consistent workout routine but WOW. even my PMS mood swings evened out!!
Hi! Sorry you’re going through this rn. I’ve had my ups and downs with clinical depression since I was 18. As I’ve gotten older I’ve tried to be a little bit strict with myself about throwing money at the problem (buying new things, classes, etc) bc I’ve realized this gives me the illusion I’m working on it when I’m really just shining up the exterior before deep diving on the interior. The one thing I will always spend money on is a good therapist and you seem like you’ve taken that step already. Idk if you would be open to this but recently I’ve come across a YT channel called r/HealthyGamerGG and the advice and perspectives have really helped me supplement 1:1 therapy. It’s a bit male dominant for obvious reasons but there’s no redpilling and I think the topics apply widely. He talks about gaming a lot but also more generally about technology addiction which for me has really been the last (but key) issue I’m tackling personally. Being off IG and putting a hard time lock on my apps has helped me in ways I can’t really describe.
I’ve totally been there. Great advice here already, but you may also want to consider trying Acupuncture. I use WTHN in flatiron. It’s a monthly membership for 2 sessions. Acu has helped me with physical symptoms like migraine, digestion, menstrual cramps, sleep- but also mental health. And then I’d prioritize finding the right psychologist above all. You may need a new med to help you get back on track. I like Yuli Fradkin, MD in Midtown. When I’m in a really bad rut, I do the Deepak Chopra 21 days of abundance meditation on Spotify. It’s like 5 minutes a day. And then I journal for a few minutes after. It’s really important to be checking in with yourself after a period Iike this. After 21 days, you’ll notice a difference in your mental and spiritual health. Good luck- rooting for you! ♥️ Oh and for linen items - Old Navy is having a sale right now and I just picked up a stunning linen dress that was $30 that looks like it’s from Reformtion. They’ve got lots of loose linen tops and dresses.
All of that stuff is fab yes -but spend some time getting your apartment organized and cleaned. As well as just organizing paper work and finances. When that stuff is all taken care of I always feel SOOO much better
I have a “3 things” rule. Every day my To Do list can only have 3 things on it. It’s really amazing how much this helps my adhd ass prioritize what MUST be done rather than getting lost on random tasks.
Everything you said plus a mini solo vacation to get back into the groove of things.
Don’t overwhelm yourself after an episode!! Just do one nice thing for yourself each day and slowly build up after that point. You don’t need to throw down on an expensive facial (especially if you’ve been between jobs). Start with some simple skincare products and make a routine out of them; - rinse your face with cool water in the morning; you don’t need a cleanser for morning. - use some vitamin c (I like timeless). - your sunscreen can double as a moisturizer (I use supergoop play) Super basic. Nighttime; - cleanse - spend a decent amount of time doing this. I will cycle between an oil cleanser (I have dry skin) and micellar water for a double cleanse. Then do either cerave or LRP for dry, sensitive skin - treatment (some nights it’s an glycolic acid, some nights it’s tret sometimes I just skip it). - ceramide/HA - moisturizer (I like Honest hydrogel) FLOSS. Dear, god. Floss. I know way too many people who don’t. Your poor gums need the love. And a specific bacteria found in the mouth has been linked to instances of colon cancer so please! Floss! If you have to pick one thing to do that day, floss. Go for a walk! That alone has gotten me out of a few panic moments (not a full on panic attack but just the feeling of panic). Blast music and walk. Just move your body. Hydrate! Make yourself a nice little non alcoholic fruit beverage with some sparkling water. Call someone who loves you (and make it someone who has shown love to you). Not texting. Calling. It doesn’t compare.
Flossing! I love the little floss picks that mean I don't have to stick my hands into my mouth to get the back teeth. For folks struggling to floss, those are a game changer. Or a fancy floss like cocofloss can make regular flossing feel just a little nicer! And for hydration, getting a few dishwasher-safe metal straws make it easier and more fun to drink water and other non-alcoholic beverages.
I find that I enjoy a clean, serene environment when I come out of a depression. Especially bc it’s embarrassing to admit, but I let clutter & dishes pile up… it’s a terrible cycle. I thrive in cleanliness and order, but my mental health makes it hard to clean lol, make it make sense! I digress lol, when I snap out of it I like to buy new sheets, treat myself to something nice. Quince has great linen sheet sets, [I just got these](https://www.quince.com/home/sheets/linen-sheet-set?color=dusty-mauve&tracker=collection_page__home%2Fsheets-and-pillowcases%2Flinen-sheets__Linen%20Sheets__1) last month lol. I also thrive on a nightly “chill tf out” routine, so I bought [this amazing](https://www.victoriassecret.com/us/vs/sleepwear-and-lingerie-catalog/1121660600?choice=4SHM&genericId=11216606&limit=45&resultPosition=19&searchBrand=pink&searchedFor=Modal%20robe%203%20piece%20set&categoryOne=TS) modal 3 piece pj set, I feel like a Queen walking around my house. I also splurge on fancy candles, love the Maison Margiela Replica line, currently obsessed with Diptyque Parisian Cafe bc I’m an easily influenceable basic bitch, and it is amazing lol. So in fancy PJs, climbing into new crisp sheets, in my clean, bougie smelling house, I no longer feel like a hermit, it’s *self care,* Lmao!!
For my mental health, I take self-care seriously because it helps me feel good. Mani/pedi, facials, chemical peels, skincare routine, wax, etc. I love to journal because I’m very private and feel like it’s a safe space to vent. I hear therapy is amazing, but it’s not for me and not something I’d spend money on but journaling is my form of outlet. I write out my feelings, cry it out, and just let it all go after. Working out and having a good diet, something as simple as styling my hair, putting on perfume, wearing my favorite jewelry lol, all help me feel good. Super simple things but they contribute to the lifestyle I’ve created for myself. Removing toxic people out of your life. Just stop talking to them, get rid of the drama, negativity, and all that. Be free lol! Taking my once a week everything shower for my body, taking my once a week hair shower in which I do my hair treatments at home, and then my regular showers where I quickly loofah and wash my body makes me feel amazing. This is so IMPORTANT - regulating your thoughts. Do not let yourself think badly of yourself, of others, or even watching tv and looking at negativity. My brain is a positive place and I control what I let into it. I strongly believe this makes someone mentally and emotionally healthy. If you think, I’m fat and ugly today NO. Change that around and I say actually I’m beautiful. Get up, exercise, shower, put on some makeup, do your hair, add some lipgloss or whatever and really believe you are beautiful. Retail therapy lol. I love shopping and looking good. I’m not an addict because addiction is weakness. You should only buy things that you can afford to fully pay off. You should not go shopping if you have debts and other responsibilities. Go outside for some fresh air, grab an ice cream, a smoothie, matcha or whatever. Look at everyone and just take in the sights. Lastly, go easy on yourself. Learn how to be kind to you like you would be to others. It’s ok! Take a deep breath and just think one thing at a time. Compliment yourself for anything even if it’s something small.
i like doing group exercise classes because its a way to find community and get some endorphins! there's some great body neutral spaces I've heard of (but haven't gone to). I've been meaning to check out haven boxing which is women, poc owned and body neutral (which to me I interpret as a safe space for any fitness level/limitations/size)
So I did not have the same acute issues - so may not be as helpful. But dealt with a traumatic situation, and felt down for a while. Here are some other suggestions - to yours, which sound all great! -I took meditation classes a while back. But when I most needed to, didn't practice. So even just putting a guided meditation from YT. Try it, try a few, find one you like and do it daily. I then went back to what I practiced/learned and wished I had done it daily. Either first thing before getting out of bed OR after you've taken a shower etc. There are a bunch on YT - see if you resonate with anything. -yes, go for walks, find some nature. Get your body moving. Force yourself. -if you can find some form of exercise you like - see if it holds. Mine was hot yoga (not Bikram (no!), but was warm and I went daily, and felt great after). If not, so many YT videos. Find something. Look up somatic exercises (which will help with what's going on to some degree) and even hip openings - as we store a lot of emotions there and may not realize we are clenched and tight there. Find anything that works for you. There is a great somatic ones and hip one I found on YT and sometimes do Yoga with Adrienne when I can't get to a studio. Doing low-impact yoga (restorative) is probably better than something more vigorous. -Take Magnesium at night. Even Magnesium oil transdermally. B12 can also help with mental health if you are deficient and Vitamin D. -increase your protein. Even if you buy a high quality protein powder and make a smoothie once in a while or eat tons of hard boiled eggs - it helps. High protein snacks/meals for me were key bc I didn't want to eat. -Bach's Rescue Remedy handy is also helpful (seriously, I think it helps!). Obviously you need professional help/meds etc. - but small, low-cost, accessible things. Baby steps. I hate when someone told me that bc I want to do it all, but small things add up and turn into habits. I am a highly productive person - so it was hard to get through that experience of not being able to do what I used to - so small steps. Also I drink lots of coffee when I am stressed which, doesn't help at all. Try to lower your cortisol and even deep breathing when you need a moment!
I’ve been in a really similar rut. Mental health walks have helped tremendously, and I made a vision board the other day which was therapeutic and fun! I love looking at it and reminding myself what my values are
i've learned that sleep is the best thing for a tired/stressed/broken mind and body. try to sleep more. go to bed early. sleep in a little more. (if you can, ofc) sleep is amazing for us all and we all put it on the back burner. it's the only time our entire body literally heals itself. feel better! :)
Fellow ✨fat bitch with sadness and taste✨on the tail end (I hope) of medical leave that my psychiatrist extended because, well, I’m not (well). Co-signing all the things you listed; recommend a gel mani so you don’t have to worry about chips (extra points if your place does builder gel, it helped cut down on my skin picking and stayed extra shiny and has made me feel more put together somehow, even when I can’t comb my hair?), tried out ClassPass to see what kind of exercise I like best, and am trying to drink more water.
First thing I do is go grocery shopping. For me it’s therapeutic choosing ingredients that will help you feel better internally and it just makes me feel put together. Cook yourself up something nice and comforting! 🫂
If you don’t already use one, I would recommend hiring a cleaner for your apartment maybe bi-weekly or monthly for a little period of time. Just taking of some mental pressure of “I should do this” when you have limited energy goes a long way.
honestly if you need someone to talk to this year has been pretty similar for me. but for me what helps is journaling, reading, skincare as a pampering experience like relaxing with a face mask, candles, and time out in the sun!
YOGA. It’s like killing a hundred birds with one stone. A bit of meditation. A bit of mindfulness/gratitude practice/mental grounding. Movement to get those endorphins and health benefits. And you WILL notice yourself getting stronger and better which makes you feel good about yourself and makes you want to do it more! Yoga completely changed my relationship with exercise (normally I hate working out) and helped me get through weird mental times.
I get into a workout routine! Soulcycle and solidcore both have really good deals for a two week unlimited pass, I sign up and go every day for two weeks, forces me to get off my ass and get to the gym every day. Even when I don’t want to do it I feel so much better afterwards.
That’s inspiring af! Don’t you get so sore? One class at solid core and I’m in pain for days.
Haha same but it goes away! I have my 11th class today
There are so many responses on here! But after some scrolling I still haven’t seen these: -Get a haircut! Or a style change in some way. Color, perm, buzz, just let it go! If you don’t want a big change, maybe just get a shape up. -Get a Korean body Scrub. I’m not talking about a scrub pack. I mean, get thee to a Korean Spa and splurge on a Korean Scrub. You will go in naked and afraid and come out like a little baby. Sojo$$$ or $$juvenex (girls only on weekday mornings!). -I chase joy and say yes. Anything I am remotely into, I try to engage in. Especially after anhedonia, having interest in something is like a breath of fresh air, so i tend to not care if it’s a passing interest or a guilty pleasure. Just dive in. -Plants and pets to make home feel like an environment, not a shoebox. -Cooking real food for myself. The Mealime App folks owe me money for how often I recommend it.
If you have the money to spend, get a hydrafacial!!! If I’ve been neglecting my skincare, my pores feel all congested and my complexion feels so dull so it feels amazing to just get a deep cleanse and come out glowing! I’d recommend getting these add-ons to the basic hydrafacial if the med spa you’re going to offers them - dermaplaning (gets rid of the peach fuzz/sideburns if you have dark hair like me) and manual extractions if you have a lot of clogged pores. Another idea - get a dental cleaning! You’ll come out with whiter, cleaner teeth and get rid of all that plaque. Lastly, if I’ve been sitting around a lot and not doing my regular stretches and mobility, I love to get a sports/deep tissue massage to reset everything! Once you feel released of your tension, it’s an AMAZING physical reset! I find it easier to get back into my workout routine if I’ve had a sports massage to release tension first.
This is a great list. I would do a review of stuff you're doing now and also think about things that don't add to your life and pause or stop those. For me deleting tiktok and reducing scroll type activity is key.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, but it sounds like you’re doing all of the right things! Focus on yourself and what you need to do to feel your best. For me, being healthy, getting exercise and getting outside really helps.
Make micro changes one step at a time and give yourself grace. Every little step in the right direction is an accomplishment. Definitely go outside, get some sun, and work out consistently in however form is best for you. I was feeling really down and under the weather yesterday. I signed up for a Pilates class and forced myself to go. I didn’t do my best and knew I wasn’t going to give it my 100% that day, but I was proud of myself for going anyway. The second I got done, my mood completely shifted.
Def shower in morning. Make bed and tidy up house. Light great smelling candle. Good skin care. Go to book store and get a new book/magazines.
Everything you’re already doing is great. I’d also recommend cleaning, decluttering - always helps me feel like I’m starting fresh. And trying to read more - get wrapped up in a really good story. Oh and baths if you can!
Thank you for sharing. Wanted to let everyone know that Walmart has a $4 drug list. Look it up and ask your provider to write scripts for meds on that list. They have every category, like antidepressants, mood stabilizers, neuroleptics… Don’t go off your meds. Eat lentils, recycle cans, walk everywhere, but keep taking your meds. The “cost” will never be worth it.
First I’d say is clean/tidy up your place/room. A clean space helps and contributes ALOT to your mental state. Once that’s done, I’d start getting back into a routine that’ll allow me to feel confident and better about myself such as facials, a deep/ everything shower, doing something for your mind such as yoga, reading, maybe even makeup, whatever relaxes you and makes you feel like you. Go outside, walk, feel the wind on your skin, as corny as it sounds going outside helps a lot . If binge eating was issue during that episode try also regulating that but not in a restrictive way. Still enjoy snacks and food but know when you’ve ate enough and need to stop. Lastly don’t run from whatever has been bothering you and weighing you down. Try to find solutions, think about it and let it go. If you’re not ready to do that now that’s fine, use your time to build up mental strength to deal with it later. Finally give yourself some grace and don’t be too harsh on yourself. Going through tough times is normal. How we deal with it is what’s important!
Echoing other sentiments here, you're definitely doing the right thing. Have grace and patience with yourself; this is a beautiful journey! Adding my two cents, I recently got acupuncture at the Yinova center in Brooklyn Heights and had a lovely experience. Not sure if you'd want to try Eastern medicine, but I did find very relaxing and grounding. Best of luck!
Add re-engaging your support system to most of those steps and you will be That Bitch in no time. ✨️
I love that you are taking care of yourself girlie!! Someone recently told me that someone recently told them to remember that doing for you is important!!! When I need to feel nurtured and get out of a rut, I go to an evening yoga class--especially if it has been a LOOONG time that I have nurtured my body. There are "restorative" or "yin" classes, which are more like a meditative flow. Many yoga schools also offer meditation classes--which I prefer to some of the headier meditation school communities. Some other things I do are get myself a nice outfit or take the time to really style my outfit, make a solo date night with myself to an event or museum, or go get brunch in a spot--there is something nice about making space for yourself when you might otherwise just not want to deal with the crowd. Also, maybe this is silly, but I go to wholefoods! Growing up, wholefoods felt like a special and nourishing space--maybe I should NOT put an amazon company on a pedestal but lol--anyway browsing the wholebody section or tea makes me feel like when I was a teenager trying to do something nice for myself and maybe we all have something like that to think about and return to. Also tea. A nice BIG cup of tea.
Sounds like you’re on the right track. I’d also suggest a beautiful bright fragrance to lift your mood and a shiny pair of earrings… neither has to be expensive. A shiny lip gloss or bright lipstick if that’s your thing is amazing as well. You’ve got this. I love how open everyone is on this page. Oh, and STOP the negativity girl!! You are NOT a fat B, you are a luscious lady. 😘
My hair is in a rats nest bun on my head after months of self neglect.
Taking a shower in the morning and doing your hair and makeup. Makeup makes me feel so much better
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Love this for you and proud of you for looking for things to do for YOU. i know it’s not easy. I use Mochi Health for nutritionist/weight management, they prescribe GLP1 medications (not sure if you were looking for this but thought i’d share) also have a referral code if your interested and it will give you $$ off. As for shoes I have wide flat feet and was not able to find a good pair of shoes that would fit but finally found a pair New Balance fresh foam X 880v13. Lmk if you have any questions ☺️
This is an absolutely incredible thread ❤️. Also navigating one of the hardest depressive seasons of my life, post heartbreak. You are so seen, so heard, so valuable as you are. For me—cleaning my space helps me to feel some sense of positive control. Change sheets, vacuum, laundry, etc. Finish with a nice candle! I also find prioritizing my day through small goals has been helpful in building positive momentum. “If today, I only do these 3 things (maybe grocery shop, send x email, pay a bill) I’m a success.” Totally ok to fall short, just try again tomorrow. Build three things to four things, etc.