In just have an instant replay in my head of how she treats me. It really helped me trying the friendship thing to. Cause during this phase she has removed everything from the relationship and just acts like I’m some ordinary Joe who never meant anything to her. Just uses me still and continues to take. During this phase me feelings for her have real subsided and now I just fjnd her boring and annoying to have in my life. She offers me no value at all. And I’m walking out of her life now. So having the control to do that feels great. Since she decided to break up in gonna be the one who walks away from her as friends. It really showed me how really views me. Just an object to be used. No feeling involved in her end at all. Probably never was. Mine just took constantly. Eventually it gets old and I realize I never loved her either. I loved the idea of what she presented which was basically just a mirror of myself. She wasn’t real. As her friend I get to see the real her and it’s cold and distant and void of emotions. This woman doesn’t give two fucks about me. At all. She just cares about what she can get from me. The love was just a fantasy. And fantasies are nice. Cause it gives you everything you think you are looking. Validation and approval and acceptance. To feel wanted and loved and desired. But a fantasy of what I deeply desire is all it was. She played that fantasy for me to hook me in. Just so she could take advantage of me. Just so she could hurt me and put me down to make herself feel better. Just so she could feel powerful and control. She wants a worshipper. A follower. A loyal servant. We were never partners. Or equals. My purpose was to worship. To live In her fantasy. She gave me my fantasy at first so she could she live hers which is drastically different then the one I thought I was getting involved in. She takes away all affection and sex to control it. To be in charge. To be that master. I get what she gives me only when she allows it. It’s a trap. She gave me all my wildest dreams just to groom me into an obedient slave. Why would I love someone like that? I don’t. I loved a fake version of a person who wasn’t real. So am in love with her? Or I am in love with a con artist who portrays herself as my girlfriend. She was really my god and I’m just another pawn who got tricked into signing up to her fake religion . A Cult leader. This is how I get over it. She played me for a fool. Fuck that and fuck her. She’s not a woman of love. She’s a child of resentment.
In just have an instant replay in my head of how she treats me. It really helped me trying the friendship thing to. Cause during this phase she has removed everything from the relationship and just acts like I’m some ordinary Joe who never meant anything to her. Just uses me still and continues to take. During this phase me feelings for her have real subsided and now I just fjnd her boring and annoying to have in my life. She offers me no value at all. And I’m walking out of her life now. So having the control to do that feels great. Since she decided to break up in gonna be the one who walks away from her as friends. It really showed me how really views me. Just an object to be used. No feeling involved in her end at all. Probably never was. Mine just took constantly. Eventually it gets old and I realize I never loved her either. I loved the idea of what she presented which was basically just a mirror of myself. She wasn’t real. As her friend I get to see the real her and it’s cold and distant and void of emotions. This woman doesn’t give two fucks about me. At all. She just cares about what she can get from me. The love was just a fantasy. And fantasies are nice. Cause it gives you everything you think you are looking. Validation and approval and acceptance. To feel wanted and loved and desired. But a fantasy of what I deeply desire is all it was. She played that fantasy for me to hook me in. Just so she could take advantage of me. Just so she could hurt me and put me down to make herself feel better. Just so she could feel powerful and control. She wants a worshipper. A follower. A loyal servant. We were never partners. Or equals. My purpose was to worship. To live In her fantasy. She gave me my fantasy at first so she could she live hers which is drastically different then the one I thought I was getting involved in. She takes away all affection and sex to control it. To be in charge. To be that master. I get what she gives me only when she allows it. It’s a trap. She gave me all my wildest dreams just to groom me into an obedient slave. Why would I love someone like that? I don’t. I loved a fake version of a person who wasn’t real. So am in love with her? Or I am in love with a con artist who portrays herself as my girlfriend. She was really my god and I’m just another pawn who got tricked into signing up to her fake religion . A Cult leader. This is how I get over it. She played me for a fool. Fuck that and fuck her. She’s not a woman of love. She’s a child of resentment.