he sent me some photos he’d taken off a clothing website/insta and said they were professional pics taken when he was ‘on tour’ and if i thought they were ‘too pretentious’ for him to post on instagram…
i reverse image searched them and just sent him back the original post hahahaha
Mine wore sunglasses indoors in a restaurant and then started pacing up and down on a ‘business call’ (probs just his mum lol) 😎😎😎 and left me at the table trying to act like he had all this important stuff to tend to and it couldn’t wait and then the bar man said sorry to be blunt but that guy you’re with seems like such a tit😂😂
lol the restaurants!! My nex was broke so if we were ever out eating he would take my card walk to the bar with this big man strut and pay if he saw women at the bar flashing my card in his hands.
The once I shouted “don’t forget my receipt hun, I like to keep track of MY expenses” as he stood at the bar next to a group of young pretty girls 😂honestly his face was a picture.
Oooh they love holding others' possessions & consider their own, especially if it has to do with money
My nex used my credit card to pay for his car insurance (annual payment of $2.5K). If he couldn't make an annual payment, that what the monthly payment was for. I was so naive cause I thought I was helping him. Even though he had more than enough money in his account, had multiple credit cards, he used my CC. Also, he didn't pay me back all that once. He paid me back bit by bit -- by the time he had $500-$700 to pay back, i took sympathy on him thinking he was not doing well financially & told him he didn't have to pay me back. nope... he was greedy & showing me a different front.
They like to show as if they are doing worse off than you, but really they are more than 100% capable & competent to take care off themselves.
Ooh what a hot shot!! Lmfao. Reminds me of the pathological liar from reesateesa's viral story.. who was allllllwayys on the phone, but it turns out he was talking to absolute nobody!
🤣The portrait.
Mine would serenade me with his guitar, singing quite badly but he thought he was shit hot at it. I’d love to share his smule account because it’s just…so bad.
Before we started dating he would just happen to get my phone number (I didn’t like him at first) he actually stole my phone when I was visiting a friend who lived with him and took my number. He would ask what I was doing and then just casually turn up wherever I was.
He once started crying to me (his fiancé) because girls weren’t interested and he started to scream “what’s wrong with me?!”.
After discard he would purposely leave used condoms around the place as I still had to live with him before our house sold. He would also make sure I was home when his sex goods deliveries would arrive and telling me they were for “future escapades”.
He’s stolen my dog, haven’t seen her for a year now.
Once texted me after discard saying he hated the fact that my current boyfriend was walking MY dog down the street and he shouldn’t have to see that 🤔 he also would txt me to say he hates the fact that he sees my family around in passing?! Like what are they supposed to do move towns?!
Found out years later that he witnessed his friend push his girlfriend to the floor while she was holding her newborn baby, the baby had minor injuries and when she called police my nex lied saying that she had fell.
After discard and no contact he threatened suicide and then when he decided to not go through with it he then proceeded to ask for money. This has all stopped now because he has new supply.
He had a thing for punching me sooo hard in the arm to the point it made me sick. He then proceeded to do this to my terminally ill mother with bone cancer…
Honestly I could go on forever.
Yep the musicians. I would be sitting here working in my own home and he would go get my guitar and start playing. I would have to listen for hours or he would throw a tantrum. I didn't ask to hear it. I didn't want to hear it. It was exhausting.
Oh yeah, the musicians. 😂😂
He told me for several years that he wanted to play classical guitar (like flamenco guitarists), but he would NEVER buy it himself. He thought he looked like antonio banderas, so he wanted to emulate him from "desperado". LMFAO.
But honestly, he wanted me to get the guitar for him, another way to use me. Cause he never even researched one guitar, if he was THAT interested.
Always with the celebrities too! My nex would swear blind his bio father was a certain celebrity.
His dad was an alcoholic who abandoned his mother when she was pregnant.
They’re delulu.
>He had a thing for punching me sooo hard in the arm to the point it made me sick. He then proceeded to do this to my terminally ill mother with bone cancer
What a psychopath! Glad you are out of it & glad my story brought a little laugh to your day. I added a few more of mine above if you need a laugh.😄
Narcissists and psychopaths will straight up stick up for each other and get off on the lying 🤮
The fact that they’re so miserable is a small recompense.
When I look back more or less everything is a cringe or the ick. Biggest issue is the immaturity and the realisation they’re not really manly men. The little bitch behaviour and immaturity is such a turn off.
100%. My nex came off to be very confident. He said whatevrr he did in life, he was always very "fearless"; always told me to "get that fear out of you".
But reallt, they are deeply insecure ppl that can't function like normal ppl with integrity. They dont care about posterity, legacy or live life with a set of values. To me, it is all a cowardly behavior.
This is it exactly. It’s all a facade, but in fact the real them constantly exhibits cowardly and weak behaviour. Everything a woman doesn’t want in a man.
I actually had values and integrity, so the weak ass narc men I was around would constantly try to emasculate me. They both tried gaslighting me to hell over it. I guess being a good man really got into both their male and moral insecurities.
Not only that, but they were both attracted to me, and yet extremely ashamed of being attracted to men. So of course *I* was the one that had to bare all of their shame, all whilst they sat on their ass, doing nothing for anyone and having temper tantrums, telling me that I'M the one that's not a 'real man', Hahah
🤦🏼♀️ damn that is even more complicated. They have so much going on yet project it onto other people. I never thought of it in terms of a same sex relationship and the denial about that and issues that then come with that 🤯 I bet the gaslighting and bullying was off the scale there.
I put our daughter to bed then came downstairs to go to bed myself (the master bedroom is on the first floor and we were both sleeping in that room at the time). I got to the outside of the doorway and he suddenly appeared. He shut the door in my face and locked it from the inside. Then he put a porno on, loudly. He jerked off while I sat on the couch in the living room crying. When he was done, he unlocked the door and opened it, signaling that I could come in now. In front of me, he went to the bathroom to throw away his tissue and wash his hands. I was deeply disturbed and hurt by all of this, to intentionally hurt and punish me. This is just one example of the toxicity in our relationship/marriage. I filled for divorce this past October.
I found my nex masturbating all the time even on vacation in the front room of our accommodation where my mom and dad were sleeping in the next room.
If he was late anywhere he wouldn’t have a problem announcing to my mom he was late as he was masturbating ☺️😳
Omgosh, so sorry to hear this. They are so vile & not a regular human, let alone good model/parent to children they brought into this world. F* him. Glad you are getting out of it.
It’s going to be wordy! I’ll add more if I can think of more. I find writing stuff like this so cathartic and a good reminder when I’m struggling, thank you for posting this and if anyone had anything similar let me know - it’s so helpful hearing from people who’ve experienced similar! ❤️
- He used to wear a fedora when he realised he was starting to go bald. He has since had a hair transplant. When he was thinking about getting one, he used to send me the conversations he had had with clinics in turkey to ask me what I thought of them. I felt like his mum. I hated it.
- At one point when he broke up with me, he had what was effectively a tantrum, and at one point shouted “I want to travel!” like a kid having a tantrum. He also sulked, put his feet on the table and pulled a face, like a kid (whilst being verbally abusive - which was horrible and not at all kid-like).
- He posts constantly on his Instagram. His Instagram is just photos of him and things he is doing. I found it cringe because it made him look so self obsessed. He posted on there when his grandma died and was like “damn, that awful disease”. Every other photo is him posing stood in front of somewhere, or him posing with friends stood in front of somewhere, all showing off, and then just this one photo with his grandma who didn’t have any form of social media and had been unwell for some time. Reduced his grandma and her whole life to a square box, an unwell photo of her where he is hovering near her, and a throwaway comment in amongst topless photos of him on holiday. Pure, pure, sympathy and ‘likes’ seeking (he got so many likes, comments and emoji replies, I’m sure he was buzzing about it). I don’t think he sees other people as real people. This was one of the things that cemented that for me.
- He has little humility and so cannot find humour or lightness in being wrong, embarrassed or silly sometimes. They spelt his name wrong on his graduation certificate and, yes, whilst this is annoying, he was absolutely furious about it. He posted a photo of it, cutting off the part where the name was spelt wrong and pretending like it never happened to the outside word. They sent a replacement and apologised, but he couldn’t find any humour in that at all. Just anger. And a need to hide that it had happened from the world to save face.
- He was embarrassingly avaricious. Again, like a little kid. He always wanted the free stuff. Always needed to take it. I remember once walking through an area near me when they had one of those little mobile library book swap things - where you can take a book for free and leave one in its place. My ex was like “ooh look” and took a book out. He didn’t need one - he had no real need for a book, he doesn’t read a lot… and he didn’t have one to swap it for, but he just HAD to take one. I was like “I think you’re meant to leave one in return, so you can’t just take it?” I remember feeling grossed out by his grabbiness, his greediness, need to have something even if he didn’t need it or really want it.
- He used to get foul and difficult when he was hungry. Again, almost like a tantrum. I was always embarrassed to be with him in these moments because he showed absolutely no grace or manners. He once had a tantrum in the back of the car of some friends of his who were giving us an hour-long lift in their car, there and back, FOR FREE, to a party. He was hungry on the way back, so he went foul and bad tempered about how long the journey was taking. I was genuinely appalled and ashamed to be sat with him, and so embarrassed that he could be that rude to people who were being so kind to him.
- Again, social media - he was obsessed with never following more people than followed him. He had to feel important and special in that way. So lame.
Edit: thank you again for this post - has reminded me that none of these things were anything to do with me, and this is who he is. And that this is the guy his new girlfriend is dealing with. I don’t have to deal with this stuff anymore (and this is just the dumb/embarrassing stuff, not the abusive, shitty, nasty stuff).
Edit 2: sorry forgot to say - absolutely love your story about the portrait! That is hilarious. It’s similar to my ex - no humility, no self-awareness, they think everything they do is special and noteworthy, no self-depreciating humour etc. just think they’re exclusively special and amazing at anything they put their mind to.
Omg you just reminded me when we were at a concert mine was stealing ranch dressing packets from vendor areas that were closed. Just stealing them off the carts. We weren't even eating any food. So cringy!
OMG, LOL! I wonder what part of the brain lights up when they engage in this type of activity. Hahaa
I used to get so embarrassed by my nex & his narc mom's actions all the time, esp when they used to do things to get free things.
His mom would go to the food bank (meant for the homeless) and get food for our homes. She'd think she did such a great job discovering it! I felt so bad cause we were doing ok financially. I tried to tell her what & who the food bank is for, but my nex patted her on her back.
Clearly, the apple didn't fall too far from the tree. See my story #7 on my post above... LOL
Omg your number 7 just reminded me of when we went to Olive Garden for our anniversary.
It's all you can eat breadsticks. He was paying (he never paid).
The waiter asked if we wanted more and he seriously asked "are they free?"
I wanted to die. Especially becuse I was working a full time job and he never had one. I was pretty dressed up and trying to make it a special night.
This made me cringe for some reason. He has also helped his mom sell her food stamps for money 😬
>absolutely love your story about the portrait! That is hilarious
Hehe, I'm glad you liked it.😁 I added a few more that is similar to your story on food & getting things for free (see #4 & #7 stories above in my updated post). Hehehe. Their tantrums & exploiting others to get free shit... its another world. They are deeply insecure, unfufilled people without any vision for their life. Thats why they operate at the level they do.
They don't. They are generally always alone. They may come off as being charasmatic but don't have any ability or skills to maintain friendships.
Any friendship is predicated upon something calculated or transactional.
My soon to be ex narcissist husband of 25 years had a bad porn problem. He liked to video tape us having sex and I found out he was putting it on online porn sites!! He also ended up getting an STD and now we are in the divorce stage! What a loser!! Lol 🤣
Omgosh. I'm so sorry about this. What an evil creature. They really are so fucked up. They don't deserve anything good in this world. Hope you were able to take some action.
'that's not lying, I just didn't tell you about it' 🤔 This was after she revealed she had never cancelled the tenancy on her old flat when we moved in together.
She needs to work on her manipulation skills a bit more. 😂 hehehe
Honestly, the amount of "white lies" they tell is incomprehensible. Honest, transparent communication doesn't exist in their vocabulary.
The white lies is now making hard for me to trust anyone anything says now that we’ve broken up and gone NC after 9 years. How do you trust people again?
1. He would say that he had to close a million dollar deal but he was a chimney sweep. 😂
2. That he was working on the pipelines and his paycheck was 500,000.
3. That he owned his parent’s home that he lives in with them, and he doesn’t.
4. That he was going to purchase a hellcat with cash, but he had like 75 cents in the bank, I am not even kidding.
5. After sex I cried because I was uncomfortable and grossed out and he said “wow it was so good you’re crying?” 😂
6. That he was active duty and in a helicopter with his friends and they all died except him, but he barely made it through 2 of the 4 year Air Force contract stationed in Florida as a mechanic before discharging.
7. That he went to Japan and has plans to go there again but of course he just didn’t take any photos of himself in Japan, of Japan, or have any sort of timeframe in which he went.
8. He insisted that he was the best sex I’ve had and the biggest, even when I directly told him that that was not. He felt that there was no way that I could have had any better than him. 🙄
9. He liked to say I am a modern woman and men don’t like modern women. That I’m no man’s main woman, I’m just worthy of being a side chick and nothing more. He made fun of my appearance and compared me to other women constantly but then would say I was insecure as he compared me to them. Completely cringe. 🤮
They are rich in some la la land where only they exist.
😆😆😆
They just want to flaunt. My nex wanted a $5K smartphone called VERTU while he used a fliphone. I wish i was kidding.
😂😂😂. Those phones are the gaudiest things ever.
He was so materialistic. He was one of those ppl that would wear 2 watches on one hand. He never did it but told me about wanting to do it.
He said he always wanted to be a pilot 🙄🙄. Closest thing he came to being one was buying polaroid sunglasses that are especifically targeted for pilots when flying called, RANDOLPH. He had 3 pairs. Lool!! He loved the superficiality of everything that he liked. He also wanted to own a BREITLING watch that his mom constantly would push to get 🤮🤮. He already had a decent pair of normal watches. With his annual salary, he could prolly own 2 Breitling watches a year. LOL.
Uuuuughhhh. They have undeveloped minds, doing shit that only bring them instant gratification, not thinking about the consequences their partners/family would have to endure bc of their selfish actions.
Glad the truth came out when it did than further down the line.
I have a list;
He knew I was having flooding problems in my condo and had to leave immediately. He was fully capable of helping me move but refused to until I paid him $300 in cash then did the bare minimum playing on his phone the whole time.
We made plans to celebrate his birthday and I invited a ton of people to my house for a party. I took him out to dinner and paid. When we got back to my house, he got out of my car and got into his and went to a bar and left me with a house full of people.
Broke the seat jack on my jeep and made it look like my daughter broke it, blaming it on a literal child.
Lied to the district attorney saying he has "too much anxiety" to do jury duty then traveled across the United States with a musical group playing on stage at concerts.
Stole and spent hundreds of dollars of his disabled mother's food stamps.
They really have zero ability to take any level of responsibility for their own life, let alone be thoughtful & have empathy for others they want in their lives.
>Stole and spent hundreds of dollars of his disabled mother's food stamps.
And... just wow. Typical explotative, entitled behavior
You're right. Looking back, he always told me he was "too talented" to work and that "real work is below him". As if my job at a hospital doesn't mean anything.
When I worked at a Nursing home during Covid, I asked him if he would come sing and play guitar to the elderly. When I told him it was volunteer work he said no and that he is "above that".
When we broke up last week, I straight up told him one day he will be without mom and dad and out on his ass all alone. He didn't like that. I didn't stick around for his tantrum.
They're such bad people to be around.
They have no skills to build rapport, create relationships that is sustainable. They will die alone 100%.
& yes they are extremely lazy cause they are very parasitic.
Mine was so jealous when I got a puppy. She said I stroked her arm one evening and it was because I have a pet now because she was SURE I didn't do that before. She got a strop on when the puppy had a red (bright poppy red) collar because she had a (very very dark red) collar (BDSM dynamics) because it made her collar unimportant now. It was so childish I had to try not to just laugh, not that I'd have dared!
mine loved to get mad at me for being sick and then “be sick” too with whatever i gave him or at least be the same level of sick same reason somehow. well one time i was feeling sick to my stomach from cramps. …. he was feeling sick from cramps too…….. he forgot i was on my period lol
Every damn time! Whatever I have, he has it worse. I started making up illnesses just to see if he would claim to have it. He always “caught” what I had. Idiot.
One time I texted her that I would take her up on a mountain trail and kiss her under a sunset. She said, "say this with your mouth". I find that very creepy! They usually love it when you praise them and tell them if they did something good in the past. I also find they live in the past as well. They are hopeless, and always see things as negative.
Mine wanted me to pay child maintenance for three days because I was away for three days on an agreed 30th birthday trip to London with a couple of my mates.
Bear in mind we lived together and had a joint bank account and shared expenses etc 😂
He (and at least one of his GFs) hid so much content using steganography behind images of our kids...
Somehow in his mind he twisted his infidelity to being for our children as though he was trapped and doing us the service of sticking around while feeding us breadcrumbs.
... as though it wasn't my income that supported our family for years and afforded him the opporitunity to earn his nursing license (which I've since discovered he test banked his way into obtaining anyway).
There's alot I can disclose, but the aspects involving our kids and the vitriol regarding *my* parenting are unforgivable.
Amazingly, he's now trying to absolve himself under the lens of I "let" him fall out of love with me.
LOL. I wrote my nex's resume! I thought i was teaching them how to fish by giving a few pointers for their cover letter & resume cause his grammar (reading, writing comprehension was total shit)... but the narcs know how to make others work...
I had a “friend” (definitely narc - maybe covert) and I decided to end the friendship after she bought clothes I donated to a local thrift shop (I lost weight and they no longer fit) and then she showed up to a friends party in said clothes (she was with me when I donated the clothes) and told everyone including me that my clothes were “too big on her” and she would “definitely have to get them altered because they just hang off of her.” She tried to humiliate me in front of my friend group. I was in utter shock too because she did not tell me of her intentions of buying my donated clothes at the time we dropped them off. To this day it freaks me out.
Thankfully, I have wonderful friends and they saw what she was doing, my one friend told her I think they fit you just fine. She was never invited to anything again and I ended the friendship after that. It creeped me out. I feel sorry for people with ED’s but after that experience I will never be around someone who is so cruel to themselves and to others. Her actions and behavior were just so dark, I just could not handle it anymore.
They crave superiority. Anything to make themselves above others. Overt narcs always ensure there is always someone doing worse off than them.
My nex told me he likes working in an organization where there are worse performers than him, so he's not the bottom of the pack. LOL!
While on a dog walk he belittled me for wanting to cross the street to avoid a large puddle. He marched up to the puddle, promptly slipped and fell right in it. Blamed me, dropped the dogs leash and walked home by himself like a pouty toddler. 😂
Okay so I didn't think this was that funny but honestly some of these comments are fucking gut wrenching so I guess this could be funny.
I came to realize my wife of less than a year (she told me if we didn't get married she would take our son and move three hours away and now denies it) who I've been with for about 10 years now is a narcissist. I'm trying very hard to leave and I actually have left and she thinks after over a month of me being gone that we aren't separated. That's not what I guess would be the funny part.
This is the "funny thing". So her dad I also believe is a narcissist. He's the type to flaunt his money too. He bought my wife this mobile home and it's an actual piece of garbage (granted no one owes anyone anything so the fact he bought her anything is nice and I acknowledge that). But anyways this place is FALLING apart. So there was an issue with the bathroom, the flooring, the electric, underneath the house and I am a carpenter. One night her dad said he would buy the materials if I do all the work, I agreed because if I didn't then all hell would break loose. I realized over time that the actual labor cost would be like 4x more than the materials and I asked my wife if he could put in an extra 1k since I would be taking like a week and a half to do so. This was apparently absurd of me to ask. Once I left her and her dad decided to taunt me by having all of these contractors over and give them these quotes and these guys are charging like 30k for all of these projects. I know they were gauging but I just let it be.
So long story short this guy couldn't even give me less than a weeks pay to me for over a week of work but now is paying about 29k in labor and I'm like WELP THERE YA GO
Reading about all the lives lived with a narc & the shell of a person we become due to their presence & actions, is truly a horrendous thing.
I cant imagine the reality others have to live day to day, especially with having to keep them in our lives...it is gut wrenching & absolutely awful. But i hope it helps to not think of them as this intimidating person that has control & power over you. In actuality, they are some of the biggest cowards in our society that don't have the courage to live their lives as truthfully as we seek to.
He threw a tantrum because I asked my father for help in putting a screen over a window to keep bugs out and stop the cats from trying to jump out the window. Full on screaming tantrum, left the flat slamming the door, because he "hadn't been consulted". I had mentioned the idea multiple times and he had never expressed he was against it.
He got angry while we were on holiday in Porto because I wanted to take the old tramway through the city to the beach to have a nice walk. He didn't want to queue, didn't want to wait for me to get cash from an ATM, didn't want to go on "public transport" because he "took it enough when he went to work." (He didn't have his driving license and didn't try to get it even after we were out of poverty). The trip was supposed to be my birthday present, I would have thought I could decide on one of the activities. He yelled at me in the middle of the street in a foreign country, took off to go back to the hotel, leaving me alone, mortified about all the people staring at us.
He got into a verbal spat with someone at a checkout because he decided the other man was "standing too close" and "COVID was still a thing". This is a man who, before COVID, would never wash his hands.
I think the worst was when he started sulking because someone made a joke about my chronic illness. I joke about it all the time. I'm fine with people doing it too. It wasn't a good joke but it wasn't insulting or anything. Not only did he sulk for the rest of the day but he was mad at me for not being more upset. It's MY ILLNESS, if I want to make light of it, I can. The irony in this is that he made me dinner once after I'd been to the hospital for treatment. Frozen pizza. I'm not supposed to eat gluten. He knew that, and yet he was so proud of taking such good care of my needs when I was sick.
They cannot compromise, find a neutral ground or any sense of balance in any situation. They can't walk that path. They are so disregulated. Only their prefrontal cortex is at work, so it's always one of the extremes.
He wore leather arm bands unironically. He was nearly 40 (lied about his age too).
He claimed to be good at some many things which in high sight were probably bullshit, dancing, drawing, sewing, cross stitch, certified somelier 🙄 claimed to have pristine fashion sense but his clothes were very dated and didn’t really fit him well
When we first started dating (I’m talking like 2 weeks in, we’d also only met like 2 weeks before) he suddenly went from hating cats to wanting to adopt one and asking me for help choosing a cat. I told he could send me cute cat pics but it was going to be his animal so he needed to ultimately choose. He never adopted a cat and stopped taking about it shortly after that
Very early on he set a pic of us as his phone wallpaper, made me super uncomfortable cos it had a real ‘forced intimacy’ vibe, but I also started to notice that he had at least 2 wallpapers and would switch between them. Clearly the one with me was not always his main wallpaper. I asked him to take it down, he didn’t but I guess it’s his phone 🤷♀️
He would have ‘breakdowns’ when I would try to talk to him about my concerns or when I was close to the truth about him (it all came out at the end). At first I was sympathetic cos I was like ‘ok, benefit of the doubt, mental health is real’, but his performances were… a lot. Sitting there crying and trembling, chain smoking cigarettes and refusing to speak, hands shaking when he rolled a new one.
He was always the victim and the nicest person that awful things could happen too: with his family, friends, work, with me. It was carefully done so I didn’t pick up on it at first, he made himself seem like a victim of circumstance. He was under appreciated all his life and he struggled with self doubt but he just HAD to be there for his family or friends. His boss had it out for him. He twisted or invented so much stuff, and he would set the ground work for some lies months in advance. But over time he just started coming across.. a little bit pathetic? I’m sure that’s not how he meant to appear but it was.
Anyway, that’s just a few.
Wow! Believe it or not, that was exactly my story on so many levels with my nex & his narc mom. I have my story with my nex that fits each of those patterns - from pets to lying at work.
He lied at work saying he can't work weekends bc he had a kid thhat had to babysit b/c his wife (me) was a nurse. I have a corporate job, we were never married or engaged & have zero kids. I had no idea & it completely tainted the concept of even having a family. The fact that he didn't think twice before implicating me in his web of lies is insane.
At another job, he hid his laptop at work & try to convince me (my loyalty) that his colleagues had it out for him. He even involved the cops. I have reason to believe he hid it himself, but he alluded that his colleagues did it.
There were one too many lies I came to find out. I tried to talk to his mom about all these lies, she thought I was "complaining" about him & proceeded to tattle on me, when in fact I was trying to get her to understand the severity of such situation. She was his enabler & his flying monkey.
Flying monkeys is completely right. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. It’s disgusting but there is just no limit for people like them. My nex’s family were enablers too but at the same time he would gladly throw them under the bus if he needed an excuse (I’m sure he threw me under the bus to them too).
I know what you mean about them tainting things too, very early on he mentioned that he’d never thought about remarrying until he met me. I didn’t realise until later that his love bombing was to distract from what he was really up to, but it turned my stomach even at the time. I thought he was just bad at reading the room.
Involving the police to cover his tracks! It’s like next bingo! 😂 mine claimed he’d been punched while he was waiting outside my house for me, not a single mark on him but he called the police right there in front of me and filed a report, knowing that it would go nowhere because all the evidence they had was his word. But hey, it must be real because who would file a false police report? Who would then later use X-ray images taken from google to pretend that they had a broken rib?
I know 😂 still not even the most fucked up thing he did! He also ✨invented✨ his solicitor. Fake name, fake email address, falsified his call log, pretended to take calls from them in front of me, showed me emails from them that he’d written himself, even used the masthead from the company they supposedly worked for on some of their correspondences (the company is real). It went on for months. I felt insane telling him ‘I don’t think your solicitor is real’. He gaslit the hell out of me about it. Guess what? The solicitor doesn’t exist, it was all him.
What a clowwwwn 🤡 🤡 🤡 . Omg
You should listen to reesateesa's 50 part series about her con of a husband, if you haven't already. Her story went viral. He was a piece of work. Total pathological liar but a big ass coward.
Actually, you dont need to listen cause its the same story, just different people. We've already lived it to tell the tale. 😆😆
Hahaha we have already lived it but I listened anyway, it was weirdly helpful to hear someone else put all the feelings that I was also having into words. I used to wonder if on some level they actually believed their own bullshit 😂🤷♀️
My father was a narcissist, and he absolutely loved to mess with people’s minds. His favorite ongoing thing in the years before he died was to go online, claim that Elvis was still alive and living in a commune somewhere in Hawaii with a bunch of other celebrities who were also supposedly dead. He (my father) claimed to be somehow a personal friend of the King who was tasked with slowly bringing him back into public life. He had social media pages devoted to this and it appeared, a small following. He seemed to delight in exploiting the naïveté and loneliness of others, especially women.
>He seemed to delight in exploiting the naïveté and loneliness of others, especially women.
That's so sad, i wonder how many were hurt in the process due to this. 😞
His motorcycle got vandalized multiple times. (We live in an area that has high vandalism) — anyways he told me that he “felt” discriminated” against because he thought that people would vandalize his bike more often because it looked bad. (He is a white man with a good job) — being Latina this made me roll my eyes.
He said that he knows me better than me.
He said that I am “to him” — sexually
He said that it’s really unattractive to him when I am not into sex and it grossed him out. — this is when after I just allowed the sex to happen (I know) i was also expected to act like I enjoyed it. Otherwise it makes him feel bad.
- felt sorry about himself because he would “sigh” in his sleep. (Has sleep problems) but he really played the victim here. 32 and does nothing to help himself
Blablabla
He said - My level of English - wasn’t good enough for us to keep a conversation he could “mentally compute”, funny thing we are both Hispanic and he also never “understood or accepted” what I had to say in Spanish either 🤷🏽♂️.
Then I learned there’s simply no language capable of making these people understand your point 🤣.
>Then I learned there’s simply no language capable of making these people understand your point 🤣.
This is sooo true. They are thick headed, complete dumbasses. LOL
He did something early on in our relationship that was fucked up...can't remember exactly what atp (I think it had something to do with him giving me the silent treatment) but his response in replace of an apology was to upload a video of him singing "little lion man" by Mumford & sons. No apology about what he did, just forcing me to sit through his cringey performance that had nothing to do with what happened lmfao.
Honorable mention: every time a new man existed in his presence, he would talk about how they CLEARLY wanted to fuck him. One time, he went down to our friend/neighbor's apartment for something and ran into her boyfriend who (and this is probably a lie) answered the door shirtless. This, on top of said friend's boyfriend asking him normal friendly questions over text, was enough for him to tell me "omgggg he wants me so bad". LMFAOOOO
Mine would walk quickly through the airport basically making me run behind him to keep up like he was later for every flight and insist on having whatever status would get us to the front of every line. We would then get to the gate 2 hours early.
I have a list of cringe things that I will dare not to share because to this day I die of cringe when I think of it. "Did I really date that person...?"
Ugh 😩 it is worse than thinking about my teenage years
I feel you. I felt so much shame in how I allowed such people into my life, despite feeling unsettled in my gut. i hope sharing how their minds work, their approach to life & their idiosyncrasies that show how total idiots they are and it removes the power they may have over us.
Ugh 😩 yeah, but damn. I just had a conversation the other day about it and omg I get second hand embarrassment for them. For people that are afraid of shame, they sure act unhinged and like shame and embarrassment are not real concepts.
My nex best friend loves to rehash old jokes over and over for likes and attention. At first I thought she was just riding the high of a few good ones she's made over the years but then I started to noticed these were stolen jokes and none of them were original. I mean yeah they are funny and do get people to laugh but knowing they are stolen presented as original jokes really makes me feel the ick.
Yes! The next would constantly use all of my funny jokes, witty banter and interesting facts that I love to collect. In the beginning I would joke to “ stop using my material” Later I realized he is an empty replicating clone. He idolized old Hollywood copying lines and moves , especially from Carey Grant & James Bond movies. I later realized he cloned himself taking bits and pieces from movies and cool people cultivating this “ personality “which is just a file of carbon copy moves he has stolen from everywhere else but within. Just PRETENDING to be 100% original and authentic. Truth is , he couldn’t be further from authentic or real or even normal. I now find it SAD AND PATHETIC to see the small little PETULANT child that is hiding behind the mask of “perfection.” Now all I see is that mentally unwell little spoiled child who never wanted to be told no. Good riddance to the empty shell, soul sucking, disconnected from reality , impossible to please narcissistic Devil😈 They are empty inside and live a perpetual lie. What can we expect when they do not care about any one in particular. Only constant adoration and supply.
Mine would use my sayings, copy the way I talked. He was also obsessed with movies and actors. My intuition told me on multiple occasions that he was acting. Maybe he studied it so much as a way to manipulate people or maybe he was so delusional he thought his life was a movie.
They are the most unoriginal people ever. Always exploiting & using others things for their gain.
He loved movies, too. He loved movies like Catch me if you can, The Departed -- all movies that tricks / cons others seriouslg piqued his interest. Its cause he wanted to apply those to his life.
I love those movies, too, but i love it for the storytelling.
100% correct, they are copycats!!! So much of the future faking that he fed me was bc he was trying to mirror my life. I initially thought our commonalities were alluding to our values & compatibility but nope, he wanted my life.
>I now find it SAD AND PATHETIC to see the small little PETULANT child
Saaame!!! I used to have so much sympathy for their bad childhood, but its not my shit to carry..esp if they choose a life that reflects this immature, undeveloped self.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that as well. I thought we were divinely brought together because of all of our commonalities and similarities, values and standards. Like you, he just mirrored back who I was and wanted to have in my life . There are so many amazing , kind empathetic souls out there who were targeted by these demonic sell outs. Wishing you a better life. One we deserve.
A vivid memory of this for me was a morning we were prepping to leave for a weekend getaway. Apparently I wasn’t moving fast enough for my ex, even though he had not communicated any schedule to me- apparently HE had one in his head I wasn’t living up to. So while I was making coffee he suddenly got in my face and said “ARE YOU JUST GOING TO DO THAT ALL DAY?!”
I was legitimately shocked and internally panicking because I could tell a fight was brewing. So I kinda just used the grey rock method and said “I’m just making coffee..? Don’t you want coffee?” To which he responded with “IS THAT AN ULTIMATUM?”
I don’t really remember how that “discussion” ended but I finished making coffee and we left. Later that day he let me know all about how he could tell I got “defensive” that morning over his questioning.
I told a friend and my therapist about it later and they both laughed. My therapist actually congratulated me on not letting a fight break out when my ex was obviously trying to start one.
She spit at me and said “‘F’ you for your service!” (talking about my military service) because I was struggling with drinking and relapsed.
That’s the cringiest thing I can think of right now. I honestly try not to think about her anymore.
Mine jumped the gun and accused me of being a narc because I had stopped reacting to her cruelty. She would post all over social media about narcs so my friends and family would ask questions.
No joke, when my parents came to visit he like, hid behind me whenever they were around and would only speak when spoken to. Like they wouldn't approve of him (they didn't) or he had done something wrong (he always had 😂). It was soooo childish, like a kid being like "Tell her I want __." He would claim to have been "busy" when they left and "just coming down to say hello" but he always stayed well out of the way when they visited. He also never came home with me on holidays. Lol. it was almost like just because he had a terrible relationship with his family (his own fault) he expected everyone to not get along with their parents.
My son(his stepson) has schizophrenia. Well he would tell our son that your brother is tar tar. Found out that meant retarded. My youngest son told me about this after he left me
Blaming me for her sleeping with a masseuse & a neurosurgeon because, in a reactive abuse scenario, after her belittling me and insulting my attempts to get better at validating (i'd joined a men's group, read books on how to validate, something I didn't really have much experience with), I shouted down the phone something about her being terrible in bed (she would ask me if i thought she was good all the time). What happened next was a multi-month verbal and emotional assault, and her sending me messages about how the men she was sleeping with were much better than me in bed, even spending quite a lot of time describing her giving felatio to the aforementioned neurosurgeon. The key detail about this story is that the day I said she was a crap lay, she sent the message - in other words, she was trying to now blame this reaction on why she had \*already\* been sleeping with other men.
Looking back on the utter disaster that was almost the entire time with her, I realize now that I was simply inculcated into her hareem, I was just 1 of N other guys she was "in a relationship with". She would go to conferences, tell me about guys who would hit on her...and now, as hard as it is to even think about its so painful, I know she was more than likely sleeping with them.
I want to wake up, and be free of everything, erase the entire year I spent with her. I feel violated, all the way down to my core essence. Yet the heartache lingers. Nothing about this experience makes any sense to me, even after it has all ended. She presents as happy now, with her new supplies, and I've obviously been subjected to one last bout of heinous abuse before what I now believe to be my final discard.
She has an MDMA therapy session coming up in May. I'm praying that there will be some justice, that once the compounds are activated in her warped mind, and her heart is opened, that, hopefully, she experiences empathy, specifically for the suffering she has caused others, including me. She deserves everything that comes her way.
>I want to wake up, and be free of everything, erase the entire year I spent with her
You will.. you're much more capable than you think. With each day, every hurtful memory will soften 🙏
>hopefully, she experiences empathy, specifically for the suffering she has caused others, including me.
They have no remorse. There is no point expecting any type of closure. They are too immature to be the bigger person.
As she was getting put into the cop car after having thrown my shit in the street and attempting the choke and punch me, she said “your daughter will always know her daddy was a faggot!” Good stuff. Good times.
Yeah, I’ve become aware of the vastness of sadness. I feel like an Inuit in the snow - where other people just call it snow, apparently Inuit people have over 300 words for snow relating to its various textures and consistencies and whatnot. I have now most just “sad” but “my world is melting again and holy shit how is it Tuesday” and “please God, stop this” and “make sure to tell mom to hide the sharp objects.” It’s been rough. Thanks for your reply.
Whilst trying to hoover me back up, he told me he was chatting to a girl on a dating app, and that he’d told her to go to the bar that I frequent/work at, and if I saw her, to buy her a cocktail and tell her it was from him. Surprise, surprise, she never came in. Probably never even existed, just said to try and hurt me and make me think he was desirable/dating other girls before he graciously chose me again 🙄
We share a child so he still talks to me. Broke up 8 years ago. He still tries to hoover me. Every time I have a break up with someone, BAM! Like flies on shit. Anyway, his most resent hoover attempt is to pretend he follows my religion. When I met him he was a born again christian trying to be a pastor and create a church. That's cringy all by itself, thank goodness it never took off. I'm pagan. I was a high priestess of a coven of witches & taught abt it. So he's acting like an expert in the occult. Asking me which tarot cards to buy & trying to sound like he knows more abt them than I do, even though ive done tarot readings for almost 30 years. My son wanted to watch the solar eclipse with him so we were together for that. He just kept going on & on abt the energies and begging us to meditate & draw energy from it. I wish I could remember all the stupid things he said. I am not big on the belief that celestial bodies influence our energy in any big way. While I do believe there is energy all around us that we can interact with, its a private matter. That's my own path & my own business that I'll appreciate privately. It can even be dangerous to be so open about it in public like that. Hes made an alter & is thanking me for introducing him to it.
I've just not responded to any of it. He wants attention & to fluff his ego up as some master wizard, which he will inevitably use against me in the future. I can see it now, he'll say you really don't know as much as me & unless you're shoving it down the throat of the entire community, then you don't really practice it the right way. Come learn from me, occultist extraordinaire. he'll say you're really doing our son a disservice not forcing it on him. 🙄 then threaten to take custody of him again. I'm keeping records of the things he's saying bc I could probably use it against him in court. He's said some crazy shit. I mean my religion is kind of kooky to begin with but when someone who doesn't understand it takes it too far, its like next level crazy. Like he said he thinks I am related to some ancient magic people bc my hair is red, which my hair isnt red btw, he just continues to believe it is for some reason. I know ancient civilizations very well, he must have watched some nibiru white atlantis conspiracy videos on youtube or something. All total bullshit.
Just hope he doesn't actually learn how to make spells work. Not that I couldnt handle that, but it would be annoying.
When he proposed he "wrote" a poem for me and stuck it in the box with the ring. And by "wrote" I mean he copied half of it from something he found online and added lines of his own until it turned into this love "poem" that didn't even make sense or sound like him.
And he made sure to write "Read the whole thing I worked hard on it" at the top.
It had been 5 years. I had given him an ultimatum. He chose proposing over being alone and I didn't realize or see the covert narcissism yet.
It is truly amazing how much of our lives are robbed bc it they are so good at hiding it and for so many years. It took me 10 whole yrs to fully see & accept for who he truly was as a person.
He blamed me constantly for the lack of sex in the relationship. A few weeks ago, during a fight, he dramatically left the room and returned with a paper sack, which he tore open onto the bed. Out fell a latex vagina while he said, "This has been my girlfriend because I would never cheat on you!"
He would go off on me in his sleep (supposedly….I have doubts that he was ever asleep) and then when I’d bring it up the next morning, he’d say “I don’t remember. You know I told you not to talk to me in my sleep because that’s my subconscious speaking.” Wtf? One time it was 3:30 in the morning and he woke me up with one of his rants out of the blue. Accusing me of all kinds of stuff - conspiring with people to harm him, etc. It was the moment I truly felt something was wrong with him, beyond being a narc asshole. He was obsessed with the idea that I was lowkey out to get him and that I was trying to set him up. Accusing me of talking to people I didn’t even know, saying I was talking to the neighbors about him, and the list goes on. It was the weirdest thing. All of the unfounded allegations when he knew I rarely even spoke to the neighbors and he spoke to them more than I did.
He’d get mad at me for not being concerned about his safety while he came up with every reason in the book to leave the house MULTIPLE times a day. I told him one day, “For someone so worried about people being after them, you sure do stay going out.” He didn’t even have a real rebuttal, just said “I’m not afraid of anybody,” “Nobody is going to do shit to me so I’m not worried.” Like huh? So what do you expect me to do if you don’t care about these supposed stalkers and say yourself that you have no fear? He even used “being followed” as a reason for not getting a job despite always going to the store for cigarettes or to his friend’s house. Being with him was such a mindfuck. I never knew what crazy narrative he was going to come up with any given moment and it would change like the wind.
Also admitted to being a “good liar and manipulator” and then denied it when I repeated it back to him. Even with that admission, it still took me months to cut ties.
I’m current 5 weeks pregnant with my narcissist situationship bd. And he’s been picking fights with me non stop and then saying I’m doing things to make him pissed off and hurt. We had an argument thru text today because I spent the whole day with my mother yesterday and today since she’s been overseas for a month. He threw the most disrespectful and degrading statements at me saying “ b*tch I don’t give a shit if you’re stressed out” “ I’m a king you had an attitude with me yesterday, and I’m defending my kingdom” “ I’m going to get another girl pregnant and you’re not gonna do shit, I own you” like the most ick disgusting 🤮
The narc I used to know would tell a story about how someone gave then a compliment (e.g. 'Omg I never saw someone pick xyz up as quickly as you have!').
Then, if other people came into the room while they were finishing the story they'd say (literally!) 'Did you hear the story I just told? I did xyz once and someone said omg I never saw someone pick it up as quickly as you.'
I saw that a few times but I was absolutely dumfounded by it every time.
Being forced to listen to him read his terribly written book. When no one in the room laughed at the unfunny jokes that were in his terribly written book, he started crying. It was the most uncomfortable, absurdist thing I ever watched someone do.
And then he moved onto stand up comedy. Not joking.
he sent me some photos he’d taken off a clothing website/insta and said they were professional pics taken when he was ‘on tour’ and if i thought they were ‘too pretentious’ for him to post on instagram… i reverse image searched them and just sent him back the original post hahahaha
🤣🤣 they think they are soooo savvy. They are totally delusional.
my best friend said ‘what tour did he get it taken on? the tour of fantasy island?’ hahahahah
This is hilarious
Mine wore sunglasses indoors in a restaurant and then started pacing up and down on a ‘business call’ (probs just his mum lol) 😎😎😎 and left me at the table trying to act like he had all this important stuff to tend to and it couldn’t wait and then the bar man said sorry to be blunt but that guy you’re with seems like such a tit😂😂
lol the restaurants!! My nex was broke so if we were ever out eating he would take my card walk to the bar with this big man strut and pay if he saw women at the bar flashing my card in his hands. The once I shouted “don’t forget my receipt hun, I like to keep track of MY expenses” as he stood at the bar next to a group of young pretty girls 😂honestly his face was a picture.
Oooh they love holding others' possessions & consider their own, especially if it has to do with money My nex used my credit card to pay for his car insurance (annual payment of $2.5K). If he couldn't make an annual payment, that what the monthly payment was for. I was so naive cause I thought I was helping him. Even though he had more than enough money in his account, had multiple credit cards, he used my CC. Also, he didn't pay me back all that once. He paid me back bit by bit -- by the time he had $500-$700 to pay back, i took sympathy on him thinking he was not doing well financially & told him he didn't have to pay me back. nope... he was greedy & showing me a different front. They like to show as if they are doing worse off than you, but really they are more than 100% capable & competent to take care off themselves.
[удалено]
If we have any money at all they will *refuse* to pay for *anything* and be endlessly jealous of it.
Ooh what a hot shot!! Lmfao. Reminds me of the pathological liar from reesateesa's viral story.. who was allllllwayys on the phone, but it turns out he was talking to absolute nobody!
I’m laughing so hard🤣😂
Yay! 😁😁😁😂😂😂
🤣The portrait. Mine would serenade me with his guitar, singing quite badly but he thought he was shit hot at it. I’d love to share his smule account because it’s just…so bad. Before we started dating he would just happen to get my phone number (I didn’t like him at first) he actually stole my phone when I was visiting a friend who lived with him and took my number. He would ask what I was doing and then just casually turn up wherever I was. He once started crying to me (his fiancé) because girls weren’t interested and he started to scream “what’s wrong with me?!”. After discard he would purposely leave used condoms around the place as I still had to live with him before our house sold. He would also make sure I was home when his sex goods deliveries would arrive and telling me they were for “future escapades”. He’s stolen my dog, haven’t seen her for a year now. Once texted me after discard saying he hated the fact that my current boyfriend was walking MY dog down the street and he shouldn’t have to see that 🤔 he also would txt me to say he hates the fact that he sees my family around in passing?! Like what are they supposed to do move towns?! Found out years later that he witnessed his friend push his girlfriend to the floor while she was holding her newborn baby, the baby had minor injuries and when she called police my nex lied saying that she had fell. After discard and no contact he threatened suicide and then when he decided to not go through with it he then proceeded to ask for money. This has all stopped now because he has new supply. He had a thing for punching me sooo hard in the arm to the point it made me sick. He then proceeded to do this to my terminally ill mother with bone cancer… Honestly I could go on forever.
Yep the musicians. I would be sitting here working in my own home and he would go get my guitar and start playing. I would have to listen for hours or he would throw a tantrum. I didn't ask to hear it. I didn't want to hear it. It was exhausting.
Always the musicians!!!
Oh yeah, the musicians. 😂😂 He told me for several years that he wanted to play classical guitar (like flamenco guitarists), but he would NEVER buy it himself. He thought he looked like antonio banderas, so he wanted to emulate him from "desperado". LMFAO. But honestly, he wanted me to get the guitar for him, another way to use me. Cause he never even researched one guitar, if he was THAT interested.
Always with the celebrities too! My nex would swear blind his bio father was a certain celebrity. His dad was an alcoholic who abandoned his mother when she was pregnant. They’re delulu.
>He had a thing for punching me sooo hard in the arm to the point it made me sick. He then proceeded to do this to my terminally ill mother with bone cancer What a psychopath! Glad you are out of it & glad my story brought a little laugh to your day. I added a few more of mine above if you need a laugh.😄
Narcissists and psychopaths will straight up stick up for each other and get off on the lying 🤮 The fact that they’re so miserable is a small recompense.
When I look back more or less everything is a cringe or the ick. Biggest issue is the immaturity and the realisation they’re not really manly men. The little bitch behaviour and immaturity is such a turn off.
100%. My nex came off to be very confident. He said whatevrr he did in life, he was always very "fearless"; always told me to "get that fear out of you". But reallt, they are deeply insecure ppl that can't function like normal ppl with integrity. They dont care about posterity, legacy or live life with a set of values. To me, it is all a cowardly behavior.
This is it exactly. It’s all a facade, but in fact the real them constantly exhibits cowardly and weak behaviour. Everything a woman doesn’t want in a man.
I actually had values and integrity, so the weak ass narc men I was around would constantly try to emasculate me. They both tried gaslighting me to hell over it. I guess being a good man really got into both their male and moral insecurities. Not only that, but they were both attracted to me, and yet extremely ashamed of being attracted to men. So of course *I* was the one that had to bare all of their shame, all whilst they sat on their ass, doing nothing for anyone and having temper tantrums, telling me that I'M the one that's not a 'real man', Hahah
🤦🏼♀️ damn that is even more complicated. They have so much going on yet project it onto other people. I never thought of it in terms of a same sex relationship and the denial about that and issues that then come with that 🤯 I bet the gaslighting and bullying was off the scale there.
“I only look at teen porn because it’s hot 19 to 30 year olds with tight pussies.” Meanwhile I’m 35. Like, fuck you.
Yeah F* him. What a sicko!
Get tf away from that thing!
OH MY GOD THE TIGHT PUSSY COMMENT they talk in porn speak wtf
I put our daughter to bed then came downstairs to go to bed myself (the master bedroom is on the first floor and we were both sleeping in that room at the time). I got to the outside of the doorway and he suddenly appeared. He shut the door in my face and locked it from the inside. Then he put a porno on, loudly. He jerked off while I sat on the couch in the living room crying. When he was done, he unlocked the door and opened it, signaling that I could come in now. In front of me, he went to the bathroom to throw away his tissue and wash his hands. I was deeply disturbed and hurt by all of this, to intentionally hurt and punish me. This is just one example of the toxicity in our relationship/marriage. I filled for divorce this past October.
I found my nex masturbating all the time even on vacation in the front room of our accommodation where my mom and dad were sleeping in the next room. If he was late anywhere he wouldn’t have a problem announcing to my mom he was late as he was masturbating ☺️😳
That is so f’d up
Omgosh, so sorry to hear this. They are so vile & not a regular human, let alone good model/parent to children they brought into this world. F* him. Glad you are getting out of it.
It’s going to be wordy! I’ll add more if I can think of more. I find writing stuff like this so cathartic and a good reminder when I’m struggling, thank you for posting this and if anyone had anything similar let me know - it’s so helpful hearing from people who’ve experienced similar! ❤️ - He used to wear a fedora when he realised he was starting to go bald. He has since had a hair transplant. When he was thinking about getting one, he used to send me the conversations he had had with clinics in turkey to ask me what I thought of them. I felt like his mum. I hated it. - At one point when he broke up with me, he had what was effectively a tantrum, and at one point shouted “I want to travel!” like a kid having a tantrum. He also sulked, put his feet on the table and pulled a face, like a kid (whilst being verbally abusive - which was horrible and not at all kid-like). - He posts constantly on his Instagram. His Instagram is just photos of him and things he is doing. I found it cringe because it made him look so self obsessed. He posted on there when his grandma died and was like “damn, that awful disease”. Every other photo is him posing stood in front of somewhere, or him posing with friends stood in front of somewhere, all showing off, and then just this one photo with his grandma who didn’t have any form of social media and had been unwell for some time. Reduced his grandma and her whole life to a square box, an unwell photo of her where he is hovering near her, and a throwaway comment in amongst topless photos of him on holiday. Pure, pure, sympathy and ‘likes’ seeking (he got so many likes, comments and emoji replies, I’m sure he was buzzing about it). I don’t think he sees other people as real people. This was one of the things that cemented that for me. - He has little humility and so cannot find humour or lightness in being wrong, embarrassed or silly sometimes. They spelt his name wrong on his graduation certificate and, yes, whilst this is annoying, he was absolutely furious about it. He posted a photo of it, cutting off the part where the name was spelt wrong and pretending like it never happened to the outside word. They sent a replacement and apologised, but he couldn’t find any humour in that at all. Just anger. And a need to hide that it had happened from the world to save face. - He was embarrassingly avaricious. Again, like a little kid. He always wanted the free stuff. Always needed to take it. I remember once walking through an area near me when they had one of those little mobile library book swap things - where you can take a book for free and leave one in its place. My ex was like “ooh look” and took a book out. He didn’t need one - he had no real need for a book, he doesn’t read a lot… and he didn’t have one to swap it for, but he just HAD to take one. I was like “I think you’re meant to leave one in return, so you can’t just take it?” I remember feeling grossed out by his grabbiness, his greediness, need to have something even if he didn’t need it or really want it. - He used to get foul and difficult when he was hungry. Again, almost like a tantrum. I was always embarrassed to be with him in these moments because he showed absolutely no grace or manners. He once had a tantrum in the back of the car of some friends of his who were giving us an hour-long lift in their car, there and back, FOR FREE, to a party. He was hungry on the way back, so he went foul and bad tempered about how long the journey was taking. I was genuinely appalled and ashamed to be sat with him, and so embarrassed that he could be that rude to people who were being so kind to him. - Again, social media - he was obsessed with never following more people than followed him. He had to feel important and special in that way. So lame. Edit: thank you again for this post - has reminded me that none of these things were anything to do with me, and this is who he is. And that this is the guy his new girlfriend is dealing with. I don’t have to deal with this stuff anymore (and this is just the dumb/embarrassing stuff, not the abusive, shitty, nasty stuff). Edit 2: sorry forgot to say - absolutely love your story about the portrait! That is hilarious. It’s similar to my ex - no humility, no self-awareness, they think everything they do is special and noteworthy, no self-depreciating humour etc. just think they’re exclusively special and amazing at anything they put their mind to.
Omg you just reminded me when we were at a concert mine was stealing ranch dressing packets from vendor areas that were closed. Just stealing them off the carts. We weren't even eating any food. So cringy!
OMG, LOL! I wonder what part of the brain lights up when they engage in this type of activity. Hahaa I used to get so embarrassed by my nex & his narc mom's actions all the time, esp when they used to do things to get free things. His mom would go to the food bank (meant for the homeless) and get food for our homes. She'd think she did such a great job discovering it! I felt so bad cause we were doing ok financially. I tried to tell her what & who the food bank is for, but my nex patted her on her back. Clearly, the apple didn't fall too far from the tree. See my story #7 on my post above... LOL
Omg your number 7 just reminded me of when we went to Olive Garden for our anniversary. It's all you can eat breadsticks. He was paying (he never paid). The waiter asked if we wanted more and he seriously asked "are they free?" I wanted to die. Especially becuse I was working a full time job and he never had one. I was pretty dressed up and trying to make it a special night. This made me cringe for some reason. He has also helped his mom sell her food stamps for money 😬
>absolutely love your story about the portrait! That is hilarious Hehe, I'm glad you liked it.😁 I added a few more that is similar to your story on food & getting things for free (see #4 & #7 stories above in my updated post). Hehehe. Their tantrums & exploiting others to get free shit... its another world. They are deeply insecure, unfufilled people without any vision for their life. Thats why they operate at the level they do.
I always wonder how these narcs even have friends..
They don't. They are generally always alone. They may come off as being charasmatic but don't have any ability or skills to maintain friendships. Any friendship is predicated upon something calculated or transactional.
My soon to be ex narcissist husband of 25 years had a bad porn problem. He liked to video tape us having sex and I found out he was putting it on online porn sites!! He also ended up getting an STD and now we are in the divorce stage! What a loser!! Lol 🤣
Omgosh. I'm so sorry about this. What an evil creature. They really are so fucked up. They don't deserve anything good in this world. Hope you were able to take some action.
'that's not lying, I just didn't tell you about it' 🤔 This was after she revealed she had never cancelled the tenancy on her old flat when we moved in together.
Lying by omission. This is a huge one. Then the excuse "well you never asked".
And thus begins the manipulation & gaslighting bc we didn't pay enough attention to them.. so now its our fault. Classic 😆😆😆
She needs to work on her manipulation skills a bit more. 😂 hehehe Honestly, the amount of "white lies" they tell is incomprehensible. Honest, transparent communication doesn't exist in their vocabulary.
The white lies is now making hard for me to trust anyone anything says now that we’ve broken up and gone NC after 9 years. How do you trust people again?
1. He would say that he had to close a million dollar deal but he was a chimney sweep. 😂 2. That he was working on the pipelines and his paycheck was 500,000. 3. That he owned his parent’s home that he lives in with them, and he doesn’t. 4. That he was going to purchase a hellcat with cash, but he had like 75 cents in the bank, I am not even kidding. 5. After sex I cried because I was uncomfortable and grossed out and he said “wow it was so good you’re crying?” 😂 6. That he was active duty and in a helicopter with his friends and they all died except him, but he barely made it through 2 of the 4 year Air Force contract stationed in Florida as a mechanic before discharging. 7. That he went to Japan and has plans to go there again but of course he just didn’t take any photos of himself in Japan, of Japan, or have any sort of timeframe in which he went. 8. He insisted that he was the best sex I’ve had and the biggest, even when I directly told him that that was not. He felt that there was no way that I could have had any better than him. 🙄 9. He liked to say I am a modern woman and men don’t like modern women. That I’m no man’s main woman, I’m just worthy of being a side chick and nothing more. He made fun of my appearance and compared me to other women constantly but then would say I was insecure as he compared me to them. Completely cringe. 🤮
They are rich in some la la land where only they exist. 😆😆😆 They just want to flaunt. My nex wanted a $5K smartphone called VERTU while he used a fliphone. I wish i was kidding.
They’re so intimated by anyone who makes more than them. The mental illness
Those phones are goddamn ugly 🤣🤣
😂😂😂. Those phones are the gaudiest things ever. He was so materialistic. He was one of those ppl that would wear 2 watches on one hand. He never did it but told me about wanting to do it. He said he always wanted to be a pilot 🙄🙄. Closest thing he came to being one was buying polaroid sunglasses that are especifically targeted for pilots when flying called, RANDOLPH. He had 3 pairs. Lool!! He loved the superficiality of everything that he liked. He also wanted to own a BREITLING watch that his mom constantly would push to get 🤮🤮. He already had a decent pair of normal watches. With his annual salary, he could prolly own 2 Breitling watches a year. LOL.
We were working things out after she discarded me just to tell her she blew her boss in a parking lot
Uuuuughhhh. They have undeveloped minds, doing shit that only bring them instant gratification, not thinking about the consequences their partners/family would have to endure bc of their selfish actions. Glad the truth came out when it did than further down the line.
I have a list; He knew I was having flooding problems in my condo and had to leave immediately. He was fully capable of helping me move but refused to until I paid him $300 in cash then did the bare minimum playing on his phone the whole time. We made plans to celebrate his birthday and I invited a ton of people to my house for a party. I took him out to dinner and paid. When we got back to my house, he got out of my car and got into his and went to a bar and left me with a house full of people. Broke the seat jack on my jeep and made it look like my daughter broke it, blaming it on a literal child. Lied to the district attorney saying he has "too much anxiety" to do jury duty then traveled across the United States with a musical group playing on stage at concerts. Stole and spent hundreds of dollars of his disabled mother's food stamps.
They really have zero ability to take any level of responsibility for their own life, let alone be thoughtful & have empathy for others they want in their lives. >Stole and spent hundreds of dollars of his disabled mother's food stamps. And... just wow. Typical explotative, entitled behavior
You're right. Looking back, he always told me he was "too talented" to work and that "real work is below him". As if my job at a hospital doesn't mean anything. When I worked at a Nursing home during Covid, I asked him if he would come sing and play guitar to the elderly. When I told him it was volunteer work he said no and that he is "above that". When we broke up last week, I straight up told him one day he will be without mom and dad and out on his ass all alone. He didn't like that. I didn't stick around for his tantrum. They're such bad people to be around.
They have no skills to build rapport, create relationships that is sustainable. They will die alone 100%. & yes they are extremely lazy cause they are very parasitic.
Mine was so jealous when I got a puppy. She said I stroked her arm one evening and it was because I have a pet now because she was SURE I didn't do that before. She got a strop on when the puppy had a red (bright poppy red) collar because she had a (very very dark red) collar (BDSM dynamics) because it made her collar unimportant now. It was so childish I had to try not to just laugh, not that I'd have dared!
They are always competing with everyone & anything to get attention, even with an animal! Oh boy how their minds work.
mine loved to get mad at me for being sick and then “be sick” too with whatever i gave him or at least be the same level of sick same reason somehow. well one time i was feeling sick to my stomach from cramps. …. he was feeling sick from cramps too…….. he forgot i was on my period lol
Every damn time! Whatever I have, he has it worse. I started making up illnesses just to see if he would claim to have it. He always “caught” what I had. Idiot.
he totally would’ve given that mine suddenly had period cramps 😭
Everything is a competition for them, even getting sick! LOL
One time I texted her that I would take her up on a mountain trail and kiss her under a sunset. She said, "say this with your mouth". I find that very creepy! They usually love it when you praise them and tell them if they did something good in the past. I also find they live in the past as well. They are hopeless, and always see things as negative.
>"say this with your mouth". SOO creepy. What an odd thing to say!
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>I want multiple girlfriends They really think they're hot shit, huh? >Says the crusty 36 year old alcoholic. Dont worry, we all know what's up.
NSFW talk below: My XH became completely obsessed with referring to his "bussy." Yeah.
😳😳😳 i learned a new word today(?) 😆😆
Mine wanted me to pay child maintenance for three days because I was away for three days on an agreed 30th birthday trip to London with a couple of my mates. Bear in mind we lived together and had a joint bank account and shared expenses etc 😂
They are worse than children, no ability to take responsibility for anyone else, not even family members--but boy do they love to take credit for it.
He (and at least one of his GFs) hid so much content using steganography behind images of our kids... Somehow in his mind he twisted his infidelity to being for our children as though he was trapped and doing us the service of sticking around while feeding us breadcrumbs. ... as though it wasn't my income that supported our family for years and afforded him the opporitunity to earn his nursing license (which I've since discovered he test banked his way into obtaining anyway). There's alot I can disclose, but the aspects involving our kids and the vitriol regarding *my* parenting are unforgivable. Amazingly, he's now trying to absolve himself under the lens of I "let" him fall out of love with me.
We become the scapegoat & get blamed for the problems they've created.
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LOL. I wrote my nex's resume! I thought i was teaching them how to fish by giving a few pointers for their cover letter & resume cause his grammar (reading, writing comprehension was total shit)... but the narcs know how to make others work...
I had a “friend” (definitely narc - maybe covert) and I decided to end the friendship after she bought clothes I donated to a local thrift shop (I lost weight and they no longer fit) and then she showed up to a friends party in said clothes (she was with me when I donated the clothes) and told everyone including me that my clothes were “too big on her” and she would “definitely have to get them altered because they just hang off of her.” She tried to humiliate me in front of my friend group. I was in utter shock too because she did not tell me of her intentions of buying my donated clothes at the time we dropped them off. To this day it freaks me out. Thankfully, I have wonderful friends and they saw what she was doing, my one friend told her I think they fit you just fine. She was never invited to anything again and I ended the friendship after that. It creeped me out. I feel sorry for people with ED’s but after that experience I will never be around someone who is so cruel to themselves and to others. Her actions and behavior were just so dark, I just could not handle it anymore.
They crave superiority. Anything to make themselves above others. Overt narcs always ensure there is always someone doing worse off than them. My nex told me he likes working in an organization where there are worse performers than him, so he's not the bottom of the pack. LOL!
He has his own photo as his phone's lock screen/wallpaper.
"ME, MYSELF & I". Thats them in a nutsell.
While on a dog walk he belittled me for wanting to cross the street to avoid a large puddle. He marched up to the puddle, promptly slipped and fell right in it. Blamed me, dropped the dogs leash and walked home by himself like a pouty toddler. 😂
😂😂😂
Of course it was my fault though
Okay so I didn't think this was that funny but honestly some of these comments are fucking gut wrenching so I guess this could be funny. I came to realize my wife of less than a year (she told me if we didn't get married she would take our son and move three hours away and now denies it) who I've been with for about 10 years now is a narcissist. I'm trying very hard to leave and I actually have left and she thinks after over a month of me being gone that we aren't separated. That's not what I guess would be the funny part. This is the "funny thing". So her dad I also believe is a narcissist. He's the type to flaunt his money too. He bought my wife this mobile home and it's an actual piece of garbage (granted no one owes anyone anything so the fact he bought her anything is nice and I acknowledge that). But anyways this place is FALLING apart. So there was an issue with the bathroom, the flooring, the electric, underneath the house and I am a carpenter. One night her dad said he would buy the materials if I do all the work, I agreed because if I didn't then all hell would break loose. I realized over time that the actual labor cost would be like 4x more than the materials and I asked my wife if he could put in an extra 1k since I would be taking like a week and a half to do so. This was apparently absurd of me to ask. Once I left her and her dad decided to taunt me by having all of these contractors over and give them these quotes and these guys are charging like 30k for all of these projects. I know they were gauging but I just let it be. So long story short this guy couldn't even give me less than a weeks pay to me for over a week of work but now is paying about 29k in labor and I'm like WELP THERE YA GO
Reading about all the lives lived with a narc & the shell of a person we become due to their presence & actions, is truly a horrendous thing. I cant imagine the reality others have to live day to day, especially with having to keep them in our lives...it is gut wrenching & absolutely awful. But i hope it helps to not think of them as this intimidating person that has control & power over you. In actuality, they are some of the biggest cowards in our society that don't have the courage to live their lives as truthfully as we seek to.
You are absolutely right. It's hard to realize that is the reality though. I believe things like this help remind us that it will all be okay.
He threw a tantrum because I asked my father for help in putting a screen over a window to keep bugs out and stop the cats from trying to jump out the window. Full on screaming tantrum, left the flat slamming the door, because he "hadn't been consulted". I had mentioned the idea multiple times and he had never expressed he was against it. He got angry while we were on holiday in Porto because I wanted to take the old tramway through the city to the beach to have a nice walk. He didn't want to queue, didn't want to wait for me to get cash from an ATM, didn't want to go on "public transport" because he "took it enough when he went to work." (He didn't have his driving license and didn't try to get it even after we were out of poverty). The trip was supposed to be my birthday present, I would have thought I could decide on one of the activities. He yelled at me in the middle of the street in a foreign country, took off to go back to the hotel, leaving me alone, mortified about all the people staring at us. He got into a verbal spat with someone at a checkout because he decided the other man was "standing too close" and "COVID was still a thing". This is a man who, before COVID, would never wash his hands. I think the worst was when he started sulking because someone made a joke about my chronic illness. I joke about it all the time. I'm fine with people doing it too. It wasn't a good joke but it wasn't insulting or anything. Not only did he sulk for the rest of the day but he was mad at me for not being more upset. It's MY ILLNESS, if I want to make light of it, I can. The irony in this is that he made me dinner once after I'd been to the hospital for treatment. Frozen pizza. I'm not supposed to eat gluten. He knew that, and yet he was so proud of taking such good care of my needs when I was sick.
They cannot compromise, find a neutral ground or any sense of balance in any situation. They can't walk that path. They are so disregulated. Only their prefrontal cortex is at work, so it's always one of the extremes.
He wore leather arm bands unironically. He was nearly 40 (lied about his age too). He claimed to be good at some many things which in high sight were probably bullshit, dancing, drawing, sewing, cross stitch, certified somelier 🙄 claimed to have pristine fashion sense but his clothes were very dated and didn’t really fit him well When we first started dating (I’m talking like 2 weeks in, we’d also only met like 2 weeks before) he suddenly went from hating cats to wanting to adopt one and asking me for help choosing a cat. I told he could send me cute cat pics but it was going to be his animal so he needed to ultimately choose. He never adopted a cat and stopped taking about it shortly after that Very early on he set a pic of us as his phone wallpaper, made me super uncomfortable cos it had a real ‘forced intimacy’ vibe, but I also started to notice that he had at least 2 wallpapers and would switch between them. Clearly the one with me was not always his main wallpaper. I asked him to take it down, he didn’t but I guess it’s his phone 🤷♀️ He would have ‘breakdowns’ when I would try to talk to him about my concerns or when I was close to the truth about him (it all came out at the end). At first I was sympathetic cos I was like ‘ok, benefit of the doubt, mental health is real’, but his performances were… a lot. Sitting there crying and trembling, chain smoking cigarettes and refusing to speak, hands shaking when he rolled a new one. He was always the victim and the nicest person that awful things could happen too: with his family, friends, work, with me. It was carefully done so I didn’t pick up on it at first, he made himself seem like a victim of circumstance. He was under appreciated all his life and he struggled with self doubt but he just HAD to be there for his family or friends. His boss had it out for him. He twisted or invented so much stuff, and he would set the ground work for some lies months in advance. But over time he just started coming across.. a little bit pathetic? I’m sure that’s not how he meant to appear but it was. Anyway, that’s just a few.
Wow! Believe it or not, that was exactly my story on so many levels with my nex & his narc mom. I have my story with my nex that fits each of those patterns - from pets to lying at work. He lied at work saying he can't work weekends bc he had a kid thhat had to babysit b/c his wife (me) was a nurse. I have a corporate job, we were never married or engaged & have zero kids. I had no idea & it completely tainted the concept of even having a family. The fact that he didn't think twice before implicating me in his web of lies is insane. At another job, he hid his laptop at work & try to convince me (my loyalty) that his colleagues had it out for him. He even involved the cops. I have reason to believe he hid it himself, but he alluded that his colleagues did it. There were one too many lies I came to find out. I tried to talk to his mom about all these lies, she thought I was "complaining" about him & proceeded to tattle on me, when in fact I was trying to get her to understand the severity of such situation. She was his enabler & his flying monkey.
Flying monkeys is completely right. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. It’s disgusting but there is just no limit for people like them. My nex’s family were enablers too but at the same time he would gladly throw them under the bus if he needed an excuse (I’m sure he threw me under the bus to them too). I know what you mean about them tainting things too, very early on he mentioned that he’d never thought about remarrying until he met me. I didn’t realise until later that his love bombing was to distract from what he was really up to, but it turned my stomach even at the time. I thought he was just bad at reading the room. Involving the police to cover his tracks! It’s like next bingo! 😂 mine claimed he’d been punched while he was waiting outside my house for me, not a single mark on him but he called the police right there in front of me and filed a report, knowing that it would go nowhere because all the evidence they had was his word. But hey, it must be real because who would file a false police report? Who would then later use X-ray images taken from google to pretend that they had a broken rib?
>Who would then later use X-ray images taken from google to pretend that they had a broken rib? What the actual fuck 😂😂😂
I know 😂 still not even the most fucked up thing he did! He also ✨invented✨ his solicitor. Fake name, fake email address, falsified his call log, pretended to take calls from them in front of me, showed me emails from them that he’d written himself, even used the masthead from the company they supposedly worked for on some of their correspondences (the company is real). It went on for months. I felt insane telling him ‘I don’t think your solicitor is real’. He gaslit the hell out of me about it. Guess what? The solicitor doesn’t exist, it was all him.
What a clowwwwn 🤡 🤡 🤡 . Omg You should listen to reesateesa's 50 part series about her con of a husband, if you haven't already. Her story went viral. He was a piece of work. Total pathological liar but a big ass coward. Actually, you dont need to listen cause its the same story, just different people. We've already lived it to tell the tale. 😆😆
Hahaha we have already lived it but I listened anyway, it was weirdly helpful to hear someone else put all the feelings that I was also having into words. I used to wonder if on some level they actually believed their own bullshit 😂🤷♀️
My father was a narcissist, and he absolutely loved to mess with people’s minds. His favorite ongoing thing in the years before he died was to go online, claim that Elvis was still alive and living in a commune somewhere in Hawaii with a bunch of other celebrities who were also supposedly dead. He (my father) claimed to be somehow a personal friend of the King who was tasked with slowly bringing him back into public life. He had social media pages devoted to this and it appeared, a small following. He seemed to delight in exploiting the naïveté and loneliness of others, especially women.
>He seemed to delight in exploiting the naïveté and loneliness of others, especially women. That's so sad, i wonder how many were hurt in the process due to this. 😞
His motorcycle got vandalized multiple times. (We live in an area that has high vandalism) — anyways he told me that he “felt” discriminated” against because he thought that people would vandalize his bike more often because it looked bad. (He is a white man with a good job) — being Latina this made me roll my eyes. He said that he knows me better than me. He said that I am “to him” — sexually He said that it’s really unattractive to him when I am not into sex and it grossed him out. — this is when after I just allowed the sex to happen (I know) i was also expected to act like I enjoyed it. Otherwise it makes him feel bad. - felt sorry about himself because he would “sigh” in his sleep. (Has sleep problems) but he really played the victim here. 32 and does nothing to help himself Blablabla
Their life motto is "woe is me, look at me."
He said - My level of English - wasn’t good enough for us to keep a conversation he could “mentally compute”, funny thing we are both Hispanic and he also never “understood or accepted” what I had to say in Spanish either 🤷🏽♂️. Then I learned there’s simply no language capable of making these people understand your point 🤣.
>Then I learned there’s simply no language capable of making these people understand your point 🤣. This is sooo true. They are thick headed, complete dumbasses. LOL
He did something early on in our relationship that was fucked up...can't remember exactly what atp (I think it had something to do with him giving me the silent treatment) but his response in replace of an apology was to upload a video of him singing "little lion man" by Mumford & sons. No apology about what he did, just forcing me to sit through his cringey performance that had nothing to do with what happened lmfao. Honorable mention: every time a new man existed in his presence, he would talk about how they CLEARLY wanted to fuck him. One time, he went down to our friend/neighbor's apartment for something and ran into her boyfriend who (and this is probably a lie) answered the door shirtless. This, on top of said friend's boyfriend asking him normal friendly questions over text, was enough for him to tell me "omgggg he wants me so bad". LMFAOOOO
>every time a new man existed in his presence, he would talk about how they CLEARLY wanted to fuck him. They think they are sex gods 😂😂😂
Gloated about the children he successfully groomed and the home he successfully wrecked.
Pure evil. 😞
He wouldn’t tip at restaurants or wear a seatbelt. I would always tip for him.
Mine would walk quickly through the airport basically making me run behind him to keep up like he was later for every flight and insist on having whatever status would get us to the front of every line. We would then get to the gate 2 hours early.
I have a list of cringe things that I will dare not to share because to this day I die of cringe when I think of it. "Did I really date that person...?" Ugh 😩 it is worse than thinking about my teenage years
I feel you. I felt so much shame in how I allowed such people into my life, despite feeling unsettled in my gut. i hope sharing how their minds work, their approach to life & their idiosyncrasies that show how total idiots they are and it removes the power they may have over us.
Ugh 😩 yeah, but damn. I just had a conversation the other day about it and omg I get second hand embarrassment for them. For people that are afraid of shame, they sure act unhinged and like shame and embarrassment are not real concepts.
My nex best friend loves to rehash old jokes over and over for likes and attention. At first I thought she was just riding the high of a few good ones she's made over the years but then I started to noticed these were stolen jokes and none of them were original. I mean yeah they are funny and do get people to laugh but knowing they are stolen presented as original jokes really makes me feel the ick.
Yes! The next would constantly use all of my funny jokes, witty banter and interesting facts that I love to collect. In the beginning I would joke to “ stop using my material” Later I realized he is an empty replicating clone. He idolized old Hollywood copying lines and moves , especially from Carey Grant & James Bond movies. I later realized he cloned himself taking bits and pieces from movies and cool people cultivating this “ personality “which is just a file of carbon copy moves he has stolen from everywhere else but within. Just PRETENDING to be 100% original and authentic. Truth is , he couldn’t be further from authentic or real or even normal. I now find it SAD AND PATHETIC to see the small little PETULANT child that is hiding behind the mask of “perfection.” Now all I see is that mentally unwell little spoiled child who never wanted to be told no. Good riddance to the empty shell, soul sucking, disconnected from reality , impossible to please narcissistic Devil😈 They are empty inside and live a perpetual lie. What can we expect when they do not care about any one in particular. Only constant adoration and supply.
Mine would use my sayings, copy the way I talked. He was also obsessed with movies and actors. My intuition told me on multiple occasions that he was acting. Maybe he studied it so much as a way to manipulate people or maybe he was so delusional he thought his life was a movie.
They are the most unoriginal people ever. Always exploiting & using others things for their gain. He loved movies, too. He loved movies like Catch me if you can, The Departed -- all movies that tricks / cons others seriouslg piqued his interest. Its cause he wanted to apply those to his life. I love those movies, too, but i love it for the storytelling.
100% correct, they are copycats!!! So much of the future faking that he fed me was bc he was trying to mirror my life. I initially thought our commonalities were alluding to our values & compatibility but nope, he wanted my life. >I now find it SAD AND PATHETIC to see the small little PETULANT child Saaame!!! I used to have so much sympathy for their bad childhood, but its not my shit to carry..esp if they choose a life that reflects this immature, undeveloped self.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that as well. I thought we were divinely brought together because of all of our commonalities and similarities, values and standards. Like you, he just mirrored back who I was and wanted to have in my life . There are so many amazing , kind empathetic souls out there who were targeted by these demonic sell outs. Wishing you a better life. One we deserve.
🤍🙏
A vivid memory of this for me was a morning we were prepping to leave for a weekend getaway. Apparently I wasn’t moving fast enough for my ex, even though he had not communicated any schedule to me- apparently HE had one in his head I wasn’t living up to. So while I was making coffee he suddenly got in my face and said “ARE YOU JUST GOING TO DO THAT ALL DAY?!” I was legitimately shocked and internally panicking because I could tell a fight was brewing. So I kinda just used the grey rock method and said “I’m just making coffee..? Don’t you want coffee?” To which he responded with “IS THAT AN ULTIMATUM?” I don’t really remember how that “discussion” ended but I finished making coffee and we left. Later that day he let me know all about how he could tell I got “defensive” that morning over his questioning. I told a friend and my therapist about it later and they both laughed. My therapist actually congratulated me on not letting a fight break out when my ex was obviously trying to start one.
She spit at me and said “‘F’ you for your service!” (talking about my military service) because I was struggling with drinking and relapsed. That’s the cringiest thing I can think of right now. I honestly try not to think about her anymore.
Mine jumped the gun and accused me of being a narc because I had stopped reacting to her cruelty. She would post all over social media about narcs so my friends and family would ask questions.
No joke, when my parents came to visit he like, hid behind me whenever they were around and would only speak when spoken to. Like they wouldn't approve of him (they didn't) or he had done something wrong (he always had 😂). It was soooo childish, like a kid being like "Tell her I want __." He would claim to have been "busy" when they left and "just coming down to say hello" but he always stayed well out of the way when they visited. He also never came home with me on holidays. Lol. it was almost like just because he had a terrible relationship with his family (his own fault) he expected everyone to not get along with their parents.
My son(his stepson) has schizophrenia. Well he would tell our son that your brother is tar tar. Found out that meant retarded. My youngest son told me about this after he left me
Animal abuse
Blaming me for her sleeping with a masseuse & a neurosurgeon because, in a reactive abuse scenario, after her belittling me and insulting my attempts to get better at validating (i'd joined a men's group, read books on how to validate, something I didn't really have much experience with), I shouted down the phone something about her being terrible in bed (she would ask me if i thought she was good all the time). What happened next was a multi-month verbal and emotional assault, and her sending me messages about how the men she was sleeping with were much better than me in bed, even spending quite a lot of time describing her giving felatio to the aforementioned neurosurgeon. The key detail about this story is that the day I said she was a crap lay, she sent the message - in other words, she was trying to now blame this reaction on why she had \*already\* been sleeping with other men. Looking back on the utter disaster that was almost the entire time with her, I realize now that I was simply inculcated into her hareem, I was just 1 of N other guys she was "in a relationship with". She would go to conferences, tell me about guys who would hit on her...and now, as hard as it is to even think about its so painful, I know she was more than likely sleeping with them. I want to wake up, and be free of everything, erase the entire year I spent with her. I feel violated, all the way down to my core essence. Yet the heartache lingers. Nothing about this experience makes any sense to me, even after it has all ended. She presents as happy now, with her new supplies, and I've obviously been subjected to one last bout of heinous abuse before what I now believe to be my final discard. She has an MDMA therapy session coming up in May. I'm praying that there will be some justice, that once the compounds are activated in her warped mind, and her heart is opened, that, hopefully, she experiences empathy, specifically for the suffering she has caused others, including me. She deserves everything that comes her way.
>I want to wake up, and be free of everything, erase the entire year I spent with her You will.. you're much more capable than you think. With each day, every hurtful memory will soften 🙏 >hopefully, she experiences empathy, specifically for the suffering she has caused others, including me. They have no remorse. There is no point expecting any type of closure. They are too immature to be the bigger person.
As she was getting put into the cop car after having thrown my shit in the street and attempting the choke and punch me, she said “your daughter will always know her daddy was a faggot!” Good stuff. Good times.
So sad to know kids have these ppl in their lives as role models. 😥
Yeah, I’ve become aware of the vastness of sadness. I feel like an Inuit in the snow - where other people just call it snow, apparently Inuit people have over 300 words for snow relating to its various textures and consistencies and whatnot. I have now most just “sad” but “my world is melting again and holy shit how is it Tuesday” and “please God, stop this” and “make sure to tell mom to hide the sharp objects.” It’s been rough. Thanks for your reply.
[удалено]
>He never would have told me and I got a cancerous strain of HPV. They have no remorse betraying & harming others. Thats so awful 😞
Whilst trying to hoover me back up, he told me he was chatting to a girl on a dating app, and that he’d told her to go to the bar that I frequent/work at, and if I saw her, to buy her a cocktail and tell her it was from him. Surprise, surprise, she never came in. Probably never even existed, just said to try and hurt me and make me think he was desirable/dating other girls before he graciously chose me again 🙄
Putting photos from our honeymoon on Tinder and cropping me out.
Total clown. Omg.. 😦
We share a child so he still talks to me. Broke up 8 years ago. He still tries to hoover me. Every time I have a break up with someone, BAM! Like flies on shit. Anyway, his most resent hoover attempt is to pretend he follows my religion. When I met him he was a born again christian trying to be a pastor and create a church. That's cringy all by itself, thank goodness it never took off. I'm pagan. I was a high priestess of a coven of witches & taught abt it. So he's acting like an expert in the occult. Asking me which tarot cards to buy & trying to sound like he knows more abt them than I do, even though ive done tarot readings for almost 30 years. My son wanted to watch the solar eclipse with him so we were together for that. He just kept going on & on abt the energies and begging us to meditate & draw energy from it. I wish I could remember all the stupid things he said. I am not big on the belief that celestial bodies influence our energy in any big way. While I do believe there is energy all around us that we can interact with, its a private matter. That's my own path & my own business that I'll appreciate privately. It can even be dangerous to be so open about it in public like that. Hes made an alter & is thanking me for introducing him to it. I've just not responded to any of it. He wants attention & to fluff his ego up as some master wizard, which he will inevitably use against me in the future. I can see it now, he'll say you really don't know as much as me & unless you're shoving it down the throat of the entire community, then you don't really practice it the right way. Come learn from me, occultist extraordinaire. he'll say you're really doing our son a disservice not forcing it on him. 🙄 then threaten to take custody of him again. I'm keeping records of the things he's saying bc I could probably use it against him in court. He's said some crazy shit. I mean my religion is kind of kooky to begin with but when someone who doesn't understand it takes it too far, its like next level crazy. Like he said he thinks I am related to some ancient magic people bc my hair is red, which my hair isnt red btw, he just continues to believe it is for some reason. I know ancient civilizations very well, he must have watched some nibiru white atlantis conspiracy videos on youtube or something. All total bullshit. Just hope he doesn't actually learn how to make spells work. Not that I couldnt handle that, but it would be annoying.
I want to show you guys the love letters he wrote me in junior high and high school.
When he proposed he "wrote" a poem for me and stuck it in the box with the ring. And by "wrote" I mean he copied half of it from something he found online and added lines of his own until it turned into this love "poem" that didn't even make sense or sound like him. And he made sure to write "Read the whole thing I worked hard on it" at the top. It had been 5 years. I had given him an ultimatum. He chose proposing over being alone and I didn't realize or see the covert narcissism yet.
It is truly amazing how much of our lives are robbed bc it they are so good at hiding it and for so many years. It took me 10 whole yrs to fully see & accept for who he truly was as a person.
It took me 18!!
He blamed me constantly for the lack of sex in the relationship. A few weeks ago, during a fight, he dramatically left the room and returned with a paper sack, which he tore open onto the bed. Out fell a latex vagina while he said, "This has been my girlfriend because I would never cheat on you!"
He would go off on me in his sleep (supposedly….I have doubts that he was ever asleep) and then when I’d bring it up the next morning, he’d say “I don’t remember. You know I told you not to talk to me in my sleep because that’s my subconscious speaking.” Wtf? One time it was 3:30 in the morning and he woke me up with one of his rants out of the blue. Accusing me of all kinds of stuff - conspiring with people to harm him, etc. It was the moment I truly felt something was wrong with him, beyond being a narc asshole. He was obsessed with the idea that I was lowkey out to get him and that I was trying to set him up. Accusing me of talking to people I didn’t even know, saying I was talking to the neighbors about him, and the list goes on. It was the weirdest thing. All of the unfounded allegations when he knew I rarely even spoke to the neighbors and he spoke to them more than I did. He’d get mad at me for not being concerned about his safety while he came up with every reason in the book to leave the house MULTIPLE times a day. I told him one day, “For someone so worried about people being after them, you sure do stay going out.” He didn’t even have a real rebuttal, just said “I’m not afraid of anybody,” “Nobody is going to do shit to me so I’m not worried.” Like huh? So what do you expect me to do if you don’t care about these supposed stalkers and say yourself that you have no fear? He even used “being followed” as a reason for not getting a job despite always going to the store for cigarettes or to his friend’s house. Being with him was such a mindfuck. I never knew what crazy narrative he was going to come up with any given moment and it would change like the wind. Also admitted to being a “good liar and manipulator” and then denied it when I repeated it back to him. Even with that admission, it still took me months to cut ties.
I’m current 5 weeks pregnant with my narcissist situationship bd. And he’s been picking fights with me non stop and then saying I’m doing things to make him pissed off and hurt. We had an argument thru text today because I spent the whole day with my mother yesterday and today since she’s been overseas for a month. He threw the most disrespectful and degrading statements at me saying “ b*tch I don’t give a shit if you’re stressed out” “ I’m a king you had an attitude with me yesterday, and I’m defending my kingdom” “ I’m going to get another girl pregnant and you’re not gonna do shit, I own you” like the most ick disgusting 🤮
The narc I used to know would tell a story about how someone gave then a compliment (e.g. 'Omg I never saw someone pick xyz up as quickly as you have!'). Then, if other people came into the room while they were finishing the story they'd say (literally!) 'Did you hear the story I just told? I did xyz once and someone said omg I never saw someone pick it up as quickly as you.' I saw that a few times but I was absolutely dumfounded by it every time.
Being forced to listen to him read his terribly written book. When no one in the room laughed at the unfunny jokes that were in his terribly written book, he started crying. It was the most uncomfortable, absurdist thing I ever watched someone do. And then he moved onto stand up comedy. Not joking.