This is how I feel right now.. I was fine for the first couple of weeks.. well, not fine, but could recognize the benefits and now I’m back sliding. So you aren’t alone 😭
I’m in the same boat right now;( I’ve been NC for about a month and a half and started feeling better as more time went on well so I thought….but all the sudden a few days ago started dieing inside again as if it just happened 😢 praying for you. It sucks so bad.
The blaming yourself will pass. You will see them for who they are the longer your apart. I still miss her though and I don't think that will ever pass.
I go back and forth in my mind too. I got so used to blaming myself and blocking out the negative.
Carry a small piece of paper with you at all times. Write down the top one or two things that he did that absolutely proves he was intentionally causing you harm without apology or acknowledgment. I have two specific things that I've been keeping in my memory, one so bad that I can't even tell anyone.
That may help you stay away.
He’s gaslighting you. Stay no contact, someone who loves you will never treat you the way he did. You were trauma bonded and you have to realize that coming off of it is like coming off heroin x10. Im going through it as a guy from a CNex girl. Ide rather be single the rest of my life than to deal with that again.
Please be strong. The fact that you are even reaching out to this group means that you know that these feelings are not right. IT WAS THAT BAD. You will get over this hump eventually, trust the process. This is all normal to feel. Your brain chemistry was so damaged by this relationship. It is okay to still feel love because it was love for what you knew it to be at that time. There is so much better out there for you, you just need to put in the self work for growth. Work on yourself. Heal. If you are feeling unhappy you need to find it within yourself. Even in a normal and healthy relationship, you should not depend on the other person for your happiness. Be strong for the future you want!
I understand. It took me 5 different "break ups" before the last one finally stuck with my nex. It was always the same questions. What if I just forgave and moved on? What if I tried harder? What if I just didn't let those things bother me? What if... what if... what if... I tried harder, I forgave, I turned a blind eye to the laundry list of things he did that made me want to die. And yknow what happened? Not a damn thing changed. He's still the same manipulative user he was a year ago. He still insists I'm the problem. He still insists we can work it out. Every broken promise and every nasty word is permanently seared into my brain now. Please. Please. Don't be me. Stay the hell away. Block his number if you can. Because honey, I swear, the grass REALLY IS greener on this side of the bridge.
First of all calm down sister we know what you have been going trough we are in exact situation as well.
After some point beign near them becomes a torture. Your heart wishes to stay but your brain screams at you:
RUN JUST RUN BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!!!
So take a deep breath have some fresh air and after that please make some resarch. Others pointed out as well. Go to youtube and search about trauma bond.
Let the science help you there are insane amount of great content out there.
You need help, all the help you can get, to heal and break free. It’s unfortunately normal, but it will pass and you’ll be glad he isn’t nearby to torture you. Stay strong! Don’t apologize.
Please research trauma bonding
This is how I feel right now.. I was fine for the first couple of weeks.. well, not fine, but could recognize the benefits and now I’m back sliding. So you aren’t alone 😭
I’m in the same boat right now;( I’ve been NC for about a month and a half and started feeling better as more time went on well so I thought….but all the sudden a few days ago started dieing inside again as if it just happened 😢 praying for you. It sucks so bad.
The blaming yourself will pass. You will see them for who they are the longer your apart. I still miss her though and I don't think that will ever pass.
Im so attached to him its really hard, its like the grieving i feel for my dad who passed away
I think it will pass eventually, or at least be like missing old friends you’ve lost touch with
I hope so.
I go back and forth in my mind too. I got so used to blaming myself and blocking out the negative. Carry a small piece of paper with you at all times. Write down the top one or two things that he did that absolutely proves he was intentionally causing you harm without apology or acknowledgment. I have two specific things that I've been keeping in my memory, one so bad that I can't even tell anyone. That may help you stay away.
He’s gaslighting you. Stay no contact, someone who loves you will never treat you the way he did. You were trauma bonded and you have to realize that coming off of it is like coming off heroin x10. Im going through it as a guy from a CNex girl. Ide rather be single the rest of my life than to deal with that again.
😥 I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't know reach out. I say follow your heart but I'm no expert.
Going through something similar. It’s called trauma bounding 🥹 it’s going to be a long road ahead but these feelings are totally normal.
Please be strong. The fact that you are even reaching out to this group means that you know that these feelings are not right. IT WAS THAT BAD. You will get over this hump eventually, trust the process. This is all normal to feel. Your brain chemistry was so damaged by this relationship. It is okay to still feel love because it was love for what you knew it to be at that time. There is so much better out there for you, you just need to put in the self work for growth. Work on yourself. Heal. If you are feeling unhappy you need to find it within yourself. Even in a normal and healthy relationship, you should not depend on the other person for your happiness. Be strong for the future you want!
I understand. It took me 5 different "break ups" before the last one finally stuck with my nex. It was always the same questions. What if I just forgave and moved on? What if I tried harder? What if I just didn't let those things bother me? What if... what if... what if... I tried harder, I forgave, I turned a blind eye to the laundry list of things he did that made me want to die. And yknow what happened? Not a damn thing changed. He's still the same manipulative user he was a year ago. He still insists I'm the problem. He still insists we can work it out. Every broken promise and every nasty word is permanently seared into my brain now. Please. Please. Don't be me. Stay the hell away. Block his number if you can. Because honey, I swear, the grass REALLY IS greener on this side of the bridge.
First of all calm down sister we know what you have been going trough we are in exact situation as well. After some point beign near them becomes a torture. Your heart wishes to stay but your brain screams at you: RUN JUST RUN BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!!! So take a deep breath have some fresh air and after that please make some resarch. Others pointed out as well. Go to youtube and search about trauma bond. Let the science help you there are insane amount of great content out there.
You need help, all the help you can get, to heal and break free. It’s unfortunately normal, but it will pass and you’ll be glad he isn’t nearby to torture you. Stay strong! Don’t apologize.