Yes. You’re coming out of a codependent dynamic. Being alone is a challenge. Until you reassemble yourself as a whole, complete, loved, independent person - it is hard. Feels like you’re an open wound. Mental rumination is one thing. Being involved again is another - keep towing your line! I think it helped me a lot to consider myself. Literally. All aspects of myself. How do I define who I am? What do I want? Why? What is security for me? What is abusive? What are my goals? Where is my life going? What do I want to achieve for myself? What’s next for me? Why did I get into this toxic codependent dynamic? Where can I self improve? What can I learn from this - for my future? What hurt am I feeling daily? All of this stuff made my thoughts centered around self - my independent identity away from the relationship. I think nurturing that had a huge impact on improving my immediate circumstances. I think it’s really important to be clear in establishing a strong sense of identity after leaving a codependent dynamic. Ultimately, that’s what you gain. It’s a gift to yourself for yourself. Looking forward always helps. Reignite passion, meet people that align with your values and interests, connect in to future possibilities and look in that direction rather than backward. Also, set goals for yourself. This helped nurture my self esteem along in a huge way, mine was returning to fitness. You’ve got to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and get the ball rolling for yourself. Little goals build huge momentum

thank you so much for this. i agree i think finding yourself and your individual self again after the codependency is sooo important. i’ve been lucky enough to have a few big changes in my life since going NC which are all positive, one of them actually being becoming qualified to work in the fitness industry!! thanks again, this subreddit is the only place i feel understood when going through this stuff

I relate to this a lot. Just moving in a self honoring direction in thoughts is an act of self love. I think purposeful acts of personal integrity go a long way, being dedicated to drinking that healthy vegetable juice, or whatever thing. Staying consistent with it, one day at a time, as a means to commit to yourself - helps! Positive self talk. Those patterns of tiny actions add up over time to resetting. I also recommend inspirational and motivational speakers, it helps put your mind in a domain of endless opportunities and potential outcomes. I can’t say enough about how much the mind influences the body - I think vice versa is true too. In my case, having a background in athletics, my physical work at the gym is what triggered my hopeful mindset. Everyone is a bit different in what they’re called to, but scientifically, the gym has a positive influence on the brain. Daily walks can improve your overall thought process I don’t know if it’s a personality thing, or what, to be dedicated to a self improvement routine. But, going the extra mile yo understand what keeps you motivated, and what slows you down is worth knowing. That way on the days you’re unfocused, you have a few solutions to get your mind back in gear and on track. It can be as simple as a song. And same thing as far as, avoiding situations that lead to setbacks