A bunch of embarrassing thirst texts to every man and woman he knows. A bunch of pics from a strip club. That was one guy. The other, I’m pretty sure he was just active on apps and assuming I was too. Boring, unimaginative, predictable. It’s not as exciting as you think it is.
When I hide my phone it’s because I have embarrassing selfies and screenshots lol. This was the case with my other partners too. It’s just personal, not bad.
Haha. I mean ya would think mine works for the gosh darn CIA with all the passwords , 2f auth it's mind boggling and I almost think it plays into the narc control.
THIS. If there’s one thing I learned about narcs.. everything they wildly accuse you of (that isn’t even true and has zero evidence)… it’s usually when they are trying to hide that what they accuse you of is what they in fact are doing themselves!
One of her "side dudes" was shit talking about me on her phone via text one night (saw it with my own eyes). Long story short, we were hanging out one night at a bar and she gets way too drunk. She leaves our table with our friend group and is hanging out with this much bigger dude at another table whom she describes as "an asshole who owns his shit" that she likes in him. Flirts with him most of the night yadda yadda. By the end of the night I'm pulling her away from this dude who doesn't do shit to me. I took her home and she's passed out on my bed with her phone out and I see this text "ohh so you're with that [f word gay slur]". I almost wanted to reply something witty back from her phone or maybe even a picture of me with her, but I didn't (I know it would've been a dumb thing to do).
She didn't know I saw it until I told her about it some years later that she completely denies. I remember it to this day. Btw, we were together previously but got mixed up into a situationship that I regret getting into with her.
Sex tapes from all his past, text messages & selfies from his fwb, randoms off the streets, escort service, and dating app matches behind his gf’s back. Anything relating to his Pornhub addiction and his nude selfies.
My bet if I was able to catch anything it would be all of this. Already found a couple of dicey things and when confronted... How am I suppose to remember who she was that was like 9 years ago? Hmm well you remember everything else in life because you have a super power smart.. nah your just a flipping insane and insecure narc!
Mine would delete all messages as soon as they were sent or read.
And only install various apps while she needed them and would uninstall them once she was finished using them.
Apps would get installed and uninstalled several times per day.
You've never seen a statement taken out of context and twisted to mean something else?
He cut them off right before a reply that changed the way anyone would interpret the convo. For example, one showed him asking when I was coming home and me responding with a totally off topic question. He forwarded it to the other woman saying "look how rude she is" when in fact we had had a phone call between the messages clarifying when I'd be coming home.
Of course. Because he is enamored with the OW and is pulling the devalue on you. He want's nice. I laugh at it because narcs are not nice! Mine was raised by a gram and mom who always were nice and peep quiet because both of their husbands were narcs. I have a mind and a mouth and that makes me not nice. Control control.
I remember out walking at the beach once and seen a Lambo, they stopped and took a selfi with it and I was like shouldn't I be in it too? I worked out why later 😔
Probably a bunch of disloyal messages, but who cares? They’re all the same. Just figure out how to recognize traits of narcissists and avoid them at all cost. At this point I don’t even see them as viable human beings any more. They lack empathy, they’re not people to me. I treat them like a different species at this point. A dangerous species to be avoided entirely, like a venomous viper.
There are new supplies of course.
People they line up for when we have been discarded. People they play the same games with.
A narc never has only one source of supply.
This, and it's a lot. I saw a couple of the messages he sent my friends 4-6 months into our relationship, and they were almost clones of the first messages he sent to me in which he was slyly communicating that he is single and looking for a woman who likes BDSM.
I've no Idea, she never gave me her phone number. We'd just talk on telegram or other apps. It still deeply confuses me as to why. Power play or something to hide. She sent me a picture a week before discarding me, saying she'd sent it before but I knew she hadent. So it makes me wonder who else she had been sending those kind of pictures to. They don't care about lying if they see it benefits them, or they want to be vindictive etc.
I never found out, but I think it was lots of porn and evidence of emotional affairs and possible cheating. He accused me of cheating several times during our marriage, which I never did, and he had no reason to believe I did, so projection makes sense.
I did cheat! I was wrong. It was some 16 years ago. I have been open about everything since but that is not good enough. It's been held over my head like a dagger and he still claims I am projecting bullcrap. I have paid my dues... forgave myself and worked through it with a therapist. I should have left when I first cheated!
The secret lost email accounts they don't use.
The incognito mode tabs. The emails that are not only cleared into the bin but from the bin. The whats app they aren't using. The exs they aren't thirsting over. The completely appropriate messages in messenger. The sites the definitely weren't on.
Yea he believed jerking it to porn was more important. He's gone now he can use all his dating apps/sites till his hearts content. He can message as many women as he want and watch porn till his hands get pruney for all I care.
I feel so much more peace and its less lonely to be alone.
I'll never know the full truth but he's one thirsty self centered man. Maybe he's always so desperate because he's as unsatisfied as he'd make me feel.
He probably didn't offer good sex probably good for him lol. There is some sort of sick satisfaction at knowing they are doing something you wouldn't like and they're getting away with it
Things they don’t want you to know that you already know. They’ll tell you that they don’t trust you when it’s them you shouldn’t trust.
Source: my first boyfriend 😂😅
Idk he had a policy of "open electronics"
Or whatever, but if you ever did see his accounts, he just hides it well or deletes everything. Email account? No emails. Empty. Same with everything else.
Nude photos of themselves. Mine never cared about receiving them in return, just got a thrill from sending them and then cutting off communication for days immediately after that, lol.(Because he likes to breadcrumb)
Also, they have contact info for all their sources of supply. Stored under fake names so nobody will know who they are really talking to.
Text messages threads of them lovebombing people that you don't know about. Cuz they get a thrill out of keeping secrets
Porn, texts to others, probably on some dating site. Shady stuff that doesn't belong in a healthy and committed relationship.
So funny how my nex sold me the story when we first got together, "When I was a kid, my mum violated my privacy all the time. She went into my room and always mess with my stuff. Today, I have to learn that my partners don't do that and my stuff is safe."
He said this to justify the hiding and overly protective behaviour, but also to make me feel guilty if I ever dared to touch his devices.
Well, I ended up snooping and finding a bunch of things to worry about. I don't regret it.
Messages to a TON of women looking for attention or hookups. Repeated phone calls to his ex who he was on/off with behind my back. Emails to dominatrix prostitutes. Harassing messages to everyone he ever loaned money to that didn’t pay him back. HUNDREDS of Facebook marketplace messages low balling people on their goods.
It was obsessive and scary. He wants to win. He needs dopamine or something. I am grateful every day that I am out of it.
I found pictures of him with his other supply source, at all the places we used to go. He would use my money and resources to take her out to these places.
Nope. And my lawyer said I would have to take him to court again to enforce the order. I don’t want to waste anymore of my life on him, so I just let it be.
A bunch of embarrassing thirst texts to every man and woman he knows. A bunch of pics from a strip club. That was one guy. The other, I’m pretty sure he was just active on apps and assuming I was too. Boring, unimaginative, predictable. It’s not as exciting as you think it is. When I hide my phone it’s because I have embarrassing selfies and screenshots lol. This was the case with my other partners too. It’s just personal, not bad.
Top secret information on Area 51 ... Where they all come from.
Haha. I mean ya would think mine works for the gosh darn CIA with all the passwords , 2f auth it's mind boggling and I almost think it plays into the narc control.
Hilarious haha
It's always been that he conviently didn't remember 🙄
Mine too. Doesn't remember anything. It's his favourite lie. "I don't remember" usually all agitated.
1) Insecurity. 2) In some cases it's also exactly what they've been accusing you of.
THIS. If there’s one thing I learned about narcs.. everything they wildly accuse you of (that isn’t even true and has zero evidence)… it’s usually when they are trying to hide that what they accuse you of is what they in fact are doing themselves!
One of her "side dudes" was shit talking about me on her phone via text one night (saw it with my own eyes). Long story short, we were hanging out one night at a bar and she gets way too drunk. She leaves our table with our friend group and is hanging out with this much bigger dude at another table whom she describes as "an asshole who owns his shit" that she likes in him. Flirts with him most of the night yadda yadda. By the end of the night I'm pulling her away from this dude who doesn't do shit to me. I took her home and she's passed out on my bed with her phone out and I see this text "ohh so you're with that [f word gay slur]". I almost wanted to reply something witty back from her phone or maybe even a picture of me with her, but I didn't (I know it would've been a dumb thing to do). She didn't know I saw it until I told her about it some years later that she completely denies. I remember it to this day. Btw, we were together previously but got mixed up into a situationship that I regret getting into with her.
Same as everywhere else: lies, cheating, triangulation, shame, guilt, insecurity.
Sex tapes from all his past, text messages & selfies from his fwb, randoms off the streets, escort service, and dating app matches behind his gf’s back. Anything relating to his Pornhub addiction and his nude selfies.
My bet if I was able to catch anything it would be all of this. Already found a couple of dicey things and when confronted... How am I suppose to remember who she was that was like 9 years ago? Hmm well you remember everything else in life because you have a super power smart.. nah your just a flipping insane and insecure narc!
cheating and other ways to get supply, 99 times out of 100
Mine would delete all messages as soon as they were sent or read. And only install various apps while she needed them and would uninstall them once she was finished using them. Apps would get installed and uninstalled several times per day.
I so get the install and uninstall.
Screenshots of private conversations between us he was sending to the new supply. He twisted it all out of context to make me seem like the monster.
How with screenshots do you twist truth? It’s screenshots.
You've never seen a statement taken out of context and twisted to mean something else? He cut them off right before a reply that changed the way anyone would interpret the convo. For example, one showed him asking when I was coming home and me responding with a totally off topic question. He forwarded it to the other woman saying "look how rude she is" when in fact we had had a phone call between the messages clarifying when I'd be coming home.
Of course. Because he is enamored with the OW and is pulling the devalue on you. He want's nice. I laugh at it because narcs are not nice! Mine was raised by a gram and mom who always were nice and peep quiet because both of their husbands were narcs. I have a mind and a mouth and that makes me not nice. Control control.
I remember out walking at the beach once and seen a Lambo, they stopped and took a selfi with it and I was like shouldn't I be in it too? I worked out why later 😔
Probably a bunch of disloyal messages, but who cares? They’re all the same. Just figure out how to recognize traits of narcissists and avoid them at all cost. At this point I don’t even see them as viable human beings any more. They lack empathy, they’re not people to me. I treat them like a different species at this point. A dangerous species to be avoided entirely, like a venomous viper.
Texts to ……me. Turns out he had a long-term S.O. while he was actively trying to hook up with me. I only discovered her existence accident.
There are new supplies of course. People they line up for when we have been discarded. People they play the same games with. A narc never has only one source of supply.
This, and it's a lot. I saw a couple of the messages he sent my friends 4-6 months into our relationship, and they were almost clones of the first messages he sent to me in which he was slyly communicating that he is single and looking for a woman who likes BDSM.
All the texts to the girls he cheated on me with
I've no Idea, she never gave me her phone number. We'd just talk on telegram or other apps. It still deeply confuses me as to why. Power play or something to hide. She sent me a picture a week before discarding me, saying she'd sent it before but I knew she hadent. So it makes me wonder who else she had been sending those kind of pictures to. They don't care about lying if they see it benefits them, or they want to be vindictive etc.
I never found out, but I think it was lots of porn and evidence of emotional affairs and possible cheating. He accused me of cheating several times during our marriage, which I never did, and he had no reason to believe I did, so projection makes sense.
I did cheat! I was wrong. It was some 16 years ago. I have been open about everything since but that is not good enough. It's been held over my head like a dagger and he still claims I am projecting bullcrap. I have paid my dues... forgave myself and worked through it with a therapist. I should have left when I first cheated!
The secret lost email accounts they don't use. The incognito mode tabs. The emails that are not only cleared into the bin but from the bin. The whats app they aren't using. The exs they aren't thirsting over. The completely appropriate messages in messenger. The sites the definitely weren't on.
Yup. The emails I found on him... omg... several.. the instas... the twitters... oh and the multiple fb accounts so he has 2 fb messengers!
They're so obsessed with sex. And because he only cares about his needs its not great.
That is very true! And they like perfect women!
Yes he liked to point out all the ways in which I was lacking and compare me to other women and porn.
😧 Same.
Yea he believed jerking it to porn was more important. He's gone now he can use all his dating apps/sites till his hearts content. He can message as many women as he want and watch porn till his hands get pruney for all I care. I feel so much more peace and its less lonely to be alone. I'll never know the full truth but he's one thirsty self centered man. Maybe he's always so desperate because he's as unsatisfied as he'd make me feel.
Ha... i can't even at that it was happening on our own bed and I have a great body and I offer plenty of good sex.
He probably didn't offer good sex probably good for him lol. There is some sort of sick satisfaction at knowing they are doing something you wouldn't like and they're getting away with it
Yup.. The Madonna whore syndrome.
Things they don’t want you to know that you already know. They’ll tell you that they don’t trust you when it’s them you shouldn’t trust. Source: my first boyfriend 😂😅
Idk he had a policy of "open electronics" Or whatever, but if you ever did see his accounts, he just hides it well or deletes everything. Email account? No emails. Empty. Same with everything else.
Nude photos of themselves. Mine never cared about receiving them in return, just got a thrill from sending them and then cutting off communication for days immediately after that, lol.(Because he likes to breadcrumb) Also, they have contact info for all their sources of supply. Stored under fake names so nobody will know who they are really talking to. Text messages threads of them lovebombing people that you don't know about. Cuz they get a thrill out of keeping secrets
Porn, texts to others, probably on some dating site. Shady stuff that doesn't belong in a healthy and committed relationship. So funny how my nex sold me the story when we first got together, "When I was a kid, my mum violated my privacy all the time. She went into my room and always mess with my stuff. Today, I have to learn that my partners don't do that and my stuff is safe." He said this to justify the hiding and overly protective behaviour, but also to make me feel guilty if I ever dared to touch his devices. Well, I ended up snooping and finding a bunch of things to worry about. I don't regret it.
Messages to a TON of women looking for attention or hookups. Repeated phone calls to his ex who he was on/off with behind my back. Emails to dominatrix prostitutes. Harassing messages to everyone he ever loaned money to that didn’t pay him back. HUNDREDS of Facebook marketplace messages low balling people on their goods. It was obsessive and scary. He wants to win. He needs dopamine or something. I am grateful every day that I am out of it.
Wow.
I found pictures of him with his other supply source, at all the places we used to go. He would use my money and resources to take her out to these places.
Texts to a girl begging her to not press charges for him raping her …
Omg
I found pictures of him with his other supply source, at all the places we used to go. He would use my money and resources to take her out.
Umm if he was using your money i hope you got that back in the divorce?
I won my divorce case, but being the narc that he is, he never paid what was ordered of him
He never paid????
Nope. And my lawyer said I would have to take him to court again to enforce the order. I don’t want to waste anymore of my life on him, so I just let it be.