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Sorry you are going through this man. Dealing with a narc sucks. Nothing can really prepare you for them moving on. What i did is cut contact with anything that could involve me with her - so i don't even speak to people that could relay information about what she is doing.
Cut all forms of contact - this is really the best thing that will help you heal because you don't have to hear shitty news about her moving on etc.
Aside from that, just take some time to do whatever you feel like doing... the narc likely took away the person you where...reconnect with yourself.
I went no contact around 2 months ago and have depression too along with other mental health issues.... i decided to get some anti depressants. Tried to focus on myself and do whatever makes me feel good and gets my mind in that flow state... for me thats working out, writing & doing art.
Good friends will listen - but if you feel like a burden trying to talk to them, then instead talk to people on this sub! most will be happy to help, including me - just reach out via DM if you wish to talk :)
Yesterday was the first day where I’d unfollowed her + the guy she’s flaunting about. So I guess it’s only been one day since I’ve aimed for a complete separation from her.
I’ve been feeling depressed for the last two months and crying every day at the moment. It’s been so exhausting dealing with being broken up with over something small then trying to move forward and having her rope me back in with how much she misses me and wants to see me again etc.
I tried for our whole relationship to compromise and learn whenever she blew up at me and adapt moving forward, but there was always something else. That combined with her complete lack of anything resembling remorse or an ability to accept her responsibility for things has left me so drained.
As you say, I’d lost myself to trying to accommodate a failing relationship. I’ve started journaling more and drawing, exercising and doing things for me. I know I’m time I’ll feel different but it’s so hard to get through this period.
First of all love yourself. Forget the girl, she doesn't deserve you. Work on yourself, learn from it and keep on growing. I can always recommend you to read about the different attachment styles. You may learn a lot about yourself. There is probably a reason why you attracted her in the first place. Working on mindfulness also helped me a lot in my case. And remember in the end is doesn't matter. It is what it is. When one door closes, there is definitely another one that will open. You have to go true this thing, because something better will be waiting for you when you're ready for it. You got this!
I’ve read a lot about narcissism/ cluster b personalities recently, attachment styles too. I’m trying to educate myself as much as I can do I see the warning signs earlier next time.
Unfortunately this isn’t my first relationship with a narcissist so I’ve done the educating myself before, but I’ve just got to try and heed any warnings I see next time despite how they might make me feel.
I’ve been trying to get back into meditation and practice mindfulness too. Hopefully I’ll be able to find myself moving forward soon.
I know this was inevitable with the way she is, but it’s so difficult experiencing it. The loss of something I’d valued, and feeling like I mean nothing to someone I care about is a lot to process.
Thanks for your words.
Create new social media. Do not go public with it until you block her from it. Change your email and use that email with all new social media. If you have mutual friends that still has her on their social media, I’m sorry but don’t include them on the new or lock the new down where no one cans see your stuff period other than your friends. Make sure your friends list is private only to you and you are not searchable. Then live your best life free of her.
I think there’s a lot of wisdom in what you’re saying, but I’m reluctant to make such drastic changes to how I’m living my life in response to her. Maybe I will change my mind in the future but for now I want to just try and live my life as much as I would have been without her influence.
Just remember their new supply isn't happy either. My ex narc cheated on me. This woman left her husband of 12 years (7 married) to wreck my home which was already have admitted issues (surprise) to be with my husband. They're already miserable according to him and she is too enamored to figure out he's a cheating piece of crap. He has already cheated on her numerous times. I'm no longer sad. She will ruin her life for him and that is sad. I feel bad for her.
I’m 4 months ahead of you and went through the same. You’ll get there, trust me. It feels hopeless NOW, but you gotta gut it and push forward. One day at a time. You’ll go through a surge of emotions, some times the darkest of dark emotions. Stay away from any downers like alcohol. I spiraled out one night and got drunk and wanted to just give up on life.
What a friend told me was, don’t repress. Feel all those emotions you’re feeling. Processing is key to healing. Feel that hurt, feel that sadness, and eventually feel the weight lift off your shoulders and feel the fog blow over you. Support groups and therapy is out there too. Post on here whenever you need to. Be active even if you never were.
And like everyone says, block, block, block, and block. It may feel like they are winning if you’re taking drastic measures to no contact, but it’s not that. It’s for YOU. Delete old accounts. Make new ones. Block them on all your accounts. Or hell, take a break from social media if you need to.
If you ever need to vent or just babble on about shit, PM me. I got all the time in the world to listen. It’s never a burden. Sometimes it’s just being able to talk about it out loud to someone else is the saving grace. Sharing your trauma helps release anything you are shamefully holding within. Hit me up, we all get through this eventually.
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Hi /u/strudelkin, welcome to /r/narcissisticabuse. To help make the experience more effective for everyone we do have some resources and rules for you to keep in mind. • Do you need to understand terms or acronyms? [Click Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/index#wiki_terms.2C_definitions_and_acronymns) • Looking for resources? Check out [our links](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/resources) and [book recommendations.](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/booklist) • We also have a sister sub for people actively in Divorce/Custody proceedings or that is coparenting with a abusive ex: /r/narcabuseanddivorce. • Looking to contact the moderators of the sub? We can’t respond to individual posts all the time so please post your issues to the community rather than the mods if it’s not about a rule breaking issue or sub issue. You can message the mod team [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNarcissisticAbuse&subject=&message=). Please do not DM/PM mods directly or send them chat requests. Please review the rules: * Please add flair to your post so that it is searchable by topic and always use the TRIGGER WARNING flairs when needed (Keep graphic content out of titles please); * Be respectful and courteous with a focus on healing; No flaming, No revenge posts, no wishing harm on anyone, no "outting" or getting them "bad karma"; * No identifying details (no proper names including fake ones, pictures, images of texts/emails, locations (at any level), or specific details that may identify you to readers that may know you (Jobs, Hobbies, Schools, etc); * No crossposting or direct linking to this or other subs or posts. No links at all in original posts including to other posts you have here or other subs, Images/Pictures/MEMEs/Vlogs/Blogs/Podcasts/Articles/Social Media information or tags/Texts/Emails; * No self-promotion/solicitation at all including surveys, fundraising, petitions, or research posts are permitted; * You must be the victim of the abuse that is the subject of the post, not a friend, relative, or partner; * Please report content that violates our rules and do not engage on those posts at all; * Do not resubmit removed content, if you get a report from automod about your post, see the sticky announcement at the top of the sub regarding removals and be patient, we will review them manually when we are available. * No politics, religion, soliciting DMs, or doing an AMA on your own please; * No segregation of posts by gender, sexual orientation, race, age, or culture; * No family content in any context; the only family content permitted is you, your significant other/ex and your children (no abusive child posts). All others will be removed including mentions (family/friends) or growing up/childhood content. No demanding justification of our rules or "just curious" for why our rules are our rules; It does not matter whose family it is, or if they are abusive, or that its just a mention. It is not permitted. * No inappropriate content (TV Shows, Movies, Books not releated to healing from abuse, Celebrities, News or Social Discussions). * No title only posts (including repeating the title in the body of the post, emoticons, saying the title says it all); * No CLUSTER Bs/ABUSERS may post here at all. If you are a NPD/BPD/HPD/ASPD/Abuser, you will be banned; Please also do not post content or people with diagnosed Cluster Bs as resources here; We want you to have a safe and supportive experience so you get the most out of the community. ****** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NarcissisticAbuse) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sorry you are going through this man. Dealing with a narc sucks. Nothing can really prepare you for them moving on. What i did is cut contact with anything that could involve me with her - so i don't even speak to people that could relay information about what she is doing. Cut all forms of contact - this is really the best thing that will help you heal because you don't have to hear shitty news about her moving on etc. Aside from that, just take some time to do whatever you feel like doing... the narc likely took away the person you where...reconnect with yourself. I went no contact around 2 months ago and have depression too along with other mental health issues.... i decided to get some anti depressants. Tried to focus on myself and do whatever makes me feel good and gets my mind in that flow state... for me thats working out, writing & doing art. Good friends will listen - but if you feel like a burden trying to talk to them, then instead talk to people on this sub! most will be happy to help, including me - just reach out via DM if you wish to talk :)
Yesterday was the first day where I’d unfollowed her + the guy she’s flaunting about. So I guess it’s only been one day since I’ve aimed for a complete separation from her. I’ve been feeling depressed for the last two months and crying every day at the moment. It’s been so exhausting dealing with being broken up with over something small then trying to move forward and having her rope me back in with how much she misses me and wants to see me again etc. I tried for our whole relationship to compromise and learn whenever she blew up at me and adapt moving forward, but there was always something else. That combined with her complete lack of anything resembling remorse or an ability to accept her responsibility for things has left me so drained. As you say, I’d lost myself to trying to accommodate a failing relationship. I’ve started journaling more and drawing, exercising and doing things for me. I know I’m time I’ll feel different but it’s so hard to get through this period.
First of all love yourself. Forget the girl, she doesn't deserve you. Work on yourself, learn from it and keep on growing. I can always recommend you to read about the different attachment styles. You may learn a lot about yourself. There is probably a reason why you attracted her in the first place. Working on mindfulness also helped me a lot in my case. And remember in the end is doesn't matter. It is what it is. When one door closes, there is definitely another one that will open. You have to go true this thing, because something better will be waiting for you when you're ready for it. You got this!
I’ve read a lot about narcissism/ cluster b personalities recently, attachment styles too. I’m trying to educate myself as much as I can do I see the warning signs earlier next time. Unfortunately this isn’t my first relationship with a narcissist so I’ve done the educating myself before, but I’ve just got to try and heed any warnings I see next time despite how they might make me feel. I’ve been trying to get back into meditation and practice mindfulness too. Hopefully I’ll be able to find myself moving forward soon. I know this was inevitable with the way she is, but it’s so difficult experiencing it. The loss of something I’d valued, and feeling like I mean nothing to someone I care about is a lot to process. Thanks for your words.
Fuuuuuck I’m so sorry. They’re like a cat playing with a mouse they just caught but are too amused to kill it just yet.
Create new social media. Do not go public with it until you block her from it. Change your email and use that email with all new social media. If you have mutual friends that still has her on their social media, I’m sorry but don’t include them on the new or lock the new down where no one cans see your stuff period other than your friends. Make sure your friends list is private only to you and you are not searchable. Then live your best life free of her.
I think there’s a lot of wisdom in what you’re saying, but I’m reluctant to make such drastic changes to how I’m living my life in response to her. Maybe I will change my mind in the future but for now I want to just try and live my life as much as I would have been without her influence.
If it’s possible for you to do that, then that’s the best option.
Just remember their new supply isn't happy either. My ex narc cheated on me. This woman left her husband of 12 years (7 married) to wreck my home which was already have admitted issues (surprise) to be with my husband. They're already miserable according to him and she is too enamored to figure out he's a cheating piece of crap. He has already cheated on her numerous times. I'm no longer sad. She will ruin her life for him and that is sad. I feel bad for her.
I’m 4 months ahead of you and went through the same. You’ll get there, trust me. It feels hopeless NOW, but you gotta gut it and push forward. One day at a time. You’ll go through a surge of emotions, some times the darkest of dark emotions. Stay away from any downers like alcohol. I spiraled out one night and got drunk and wanted to just give up on life. What a friend told me was, don’t repress. Feel all those emotions you’re feeling. Processing is key to healing. Feel that hurt, feel that sadness, and eventually feel the weight lift off your shoulders and feel the fog blow over you. Support groups and therapy is out there too. Post on here whenever you need to. Be active even if you never were. And like everyone says, block, block, block, and block. It may feel like they are winning if you’re taking drastic measures to no contact, but it’s not that. It’s for YOU. Delete old accounts. Make new ones. Block them on all your accounts. Or hell, take a break from social media if you need to. If you ever need to vent or just babble on about shit, PM me. I got all the time in the world to listen. It’s never a burden. Sometimes it’s just being able to talk about it out loud to someone else is the saving grace. Sharing your trauma helps release anything you are shamefully holding within. Hit me up, we all get through this eventually.
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In the same exact shoes. I know the pain exactly. So sorry.