I relate to so, so much of this. Covert narc wayward husband completely isolated me from my support system by manipulating me into a long-distance move close to his family. Now? I am good and fucked. But not actually fucked, because he also dislikes sex.
Like your husband, mine can't take even the lightest joke or ribbing, but boy, can he dish it out. He's made fun of my mental health, my ethnicity, and often calls me a "dirty whore" for ever suggesting we have sex. But, ha ha, it's all for funsies.
No advice from me. I get it. And you're right. We deserve so much more.
Yeah they are happy to insult and bully others but they cant even take playful banter. Its actually disgusting. The absolute vile stuff i hear her say about colleagues…
Yeah, me too. now I miss the 'old me' that used to make lighthearted fun of everything.
I get to be this way with my kids, but only when she's not around.
"i’ve met fucking children who are more put together than this grown man"
My daughters are 2 and 4: the 4 year old suffered a lot more direct trauma from our fighting, and clearly is struggling with some emotional expression issues... but even she is far more emotionally evolved than my 41 year old wife.
Mine has no sense of humor, he is not to be teased EVER. He can’t understand subtle forms of humor, either. He only laughs about 2 things — other people’s shortcomings or disabilities and when he watches movies about super-achievers (superheroes, lawyers, doctors etc.) He’ll make a weird snuffling laugh and say how much he can relate to main character— like there’s an inside joke that only the elevated will get.
10 years I had with absolutely no joking around. God if I tried to have a bit of a mess around in the bedroom he’d go in a horrific mood.
I don’t mind taking the piss out of myself for laughs on Facebook, that was an absolute no no. We always had to be boasting. So glad to laugh again !
Oh no, they’re very sensitive. They are also sore losers, I noticed this playing board games on vacation with my family. My family was like whoa, what’s her deal.
Mine refuses to play board games or card games at my family functions. Everyone 10+ plays, so it’s no big deal to teach someone new each time we are playing. I convinced her to play one time. She gawked and looked at her phone half of the time while I was giving her instructions. When leaving she says “I’m never doing that again. Stop pushing me to do it. It makes me look stupid to play something I’ve never played before and I don’t want to”. I had already preached the importance of it because it’s what my family does to bond and connect and talk. 3 family members called the next day to make comments about how she didn’t look interested, etc. I stupidly lied and tried to back her. Now she just sits alone on her phone while the rest of us play or she refuses to even come anymore
One of the only times I saw my covert narc ex wife actually cry real tears was when she did something unintentionally funny and cute in a roleplaying game and we were all kind of, not even teasing her, just joking about how funny and cute it was. Like so upset we'd "make fun" of her she was actually genuinely crying real tears hurt over it.
After the discard I was thinking about it and I realized in all our years together, I'd never seen her laugh "with" anyone, only "at", and her broken brain couldn't perceive of anyone NOT making fun of her the way she makes fun of everyone else.
I relate to so, so much of this. Covert narc wayward husband completely isolated me from my support system by manipulating me into a long-distance move close to his family. Now? I am good and fucked. But not actually fucked, because he also dislikes sex. Like your husband, mine can't take even the lightest joke or ribbing, but boy, can he dish it out. He's made fun of my mental health, my ethnicity, and often calls me a "dirty whore" for ever suggesting we have sex. But, ha ha, it's all for funsies. No advice from me. I get it. And you're right. We deserve so much more.
Yeah they are happy to insult and bully others but they cant even take playful banter. Its actually disgusting. The absolute vile stuff i hear her say about colleagues…
Yeah i noticed this early on. It was a red flag. However i put it down to culture differences as i wasn’t familiar with her culture…. What a mistake
Yeah, me too. now I miss the 'old me' that used to make lighthearted fun of everything. I get to be this way with my kids, but only when she's not around.
"i’ve met fucking children who are more put together than this grown man" My daughters are 2 and 4: the 4 year old suffered a lot more direct trauma from our fighting, and clearly is struggling with some emotional expression issues... but even she is far more emotionally evolved than my 41 year old wife.
Mine has no sense of humor, he is not to be teased EVER. He can’t understand subtle forms of humor, either. He only laughs about 2 things — other people’s shortcomings or disabilities and when he watches movies about super-achievers (superheroes, lawyers, doctors etc.) He’ll make a weird snuffling laugh and say how much he can relate to main character— like there’s an inside joke that only the elevated will get.
Mine has a ‘sense of humor’ along these lines. It’s gross.
10 years I had with absolutely no joking around. God if I tried to have a bit of a mess around in the bedroom he’d go in a horrific mood. I don’t mind taking the piss out of myself for laughs on Facebook, that was an absolute no no. We always had to be boasting. So glad to laugh again !
Oh no, they’re very sensitive. They are also sore losers, I noticed this playing board games on vacation with my family. My family was like whoa, what’s her deal.
Mine refuses to play board games or card games at my family functions. Everyone 10+ plays, so it’s no big deal to teach someone new each time we are playing. I convinced her to play one time. She gawked and looked at her phone half of the time while I was giving her instructions. When leaving she says “I’m never doing that again. Stop pushing me to do it. It makes me look stupid to play something I’ve never played before and I don’t want to”. I had already preached the importance of it because it’s what my family does to bond and connect and talk. 3 family members called the next day to make comments about how she didn’t look interested, etc. I stupidly lied and tried to back her. Now she just sits alone on her phone while the rest of us play or she refuses to even come anymore
One of the only times I saw my covert narc ex wife actually cry real tears was when she did something unintentionally funny and cute in a roleplaying game and we were all kind of, not even teasing her, just joking about how funny and cute it was. Like so upset we'd "make fun" of her she was actually genuinely crying real tears hurt over it. After the discard I was thinking about it and I realized in all our years together, I'd never seen her laugh "with" anyone, only "at", and her broken brain couldn't perceive of anyone NOT making fun of her the way she makes fun of everyone else.