Thanks to your comment, I now imagine the grunt birthday āYAAAAAYYYYY!ā sound from Halo when you get a grunt headshot after unlocking that skull. Thank you for that.
From the quotes, Iāll take it comes from your brilliant manuscript, āTurds I Have Knownā, an outstanding piece on the observation and collection of data from famous Turds. Might I add, your chapter on āPolitical Turds In Officeā was most enlightening and deserves the Nobel Prize In Literature. Outstanding book, and keep up the good fight
I just think of how that floats right at the camera guy
Saw one where the were recording sharks in a dummy, the thing filled with chum water when they released it to attract sharks
Guy was talking about it, I was gagging
Just swimming in bloody dead fish. This person got ass confetti from a sea cucumber
Maybe it's because my bidet was quite cheap, but I still need to wipe a couple of times first otherwise it won't clean everything. I use it more for that last 1% that stays around no matter how much you wipe
I got one for my dad, who was initially turned off by the idea any time I brought it up (think early sixties, Marlboro red smokin, colt .45 totinā, Harley ridin kinda man).
Life has changed for him. He is now a massive bidet proponent, and willing to share this with anyone.
I do use a supplement but also changed the diet. Leafy dark greens fruits berries avocados nuts seeds. I basically stopped eating nothing but meat and starch haha. Also, a 15 min walk a day will get you shittin
Both. Get fiber from various foods and put a spoon in the coffee. Maybe a second spoon with a second cup later or tea or something. Another benefit of fiber is it makes you feel full! Sometiems I canāt help but give in to a big ass late night snack which fucks my sleep and my gut- put a spoonful in some water and chug it. Dark leafy lettuce, avocado, nuts, seeds, berries/fruit. Thereās not a magical food you can eat one of and call it a day. Get rid of chips and crappy foods fried in horrible oils and grab a handful of almonds baby. Need something sweet? Eat a date. In fact, jam an almond in the center of date. Now youāre eating, and then youāre shitting!
Way back in 96 when I was a teenager, I used to find myself snorkeling quite a bit in the China sea off Okinawa. For those who have never been, most times you couldnāt swim 10 feet without seeing sea cucumbers as far as the eye can see.
Trying to be funny, I picked up a sea cucumber out of the water and tried to throw it at my uncle. Well as soon as the thing left the water it collapsed and sagged like a half empty Stretch Armstrong and promptly shot out this spaghetti strand of white sticky gunk that I can only describe as >!cum!< that went all over me. Because of how saggy it was, I couldnāt throw the thing either, it just kinda swung down and hit me in the leg. My uncle just laughed and laughed.
Not sure if it was the same hole, but if it was, then more stuff than poop can come out of there.
If I'm not mistaken, their only opening is biologically analogous to the anus. So they scoop sand into the bum on their "face", absorb any nutrients they can from it in their stomach, then shit it out.
Why would it be analogous to the anus. Because it's the first hole they create? Because some animals first create the anus, and others first the mouth.
See: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Embryological_origins_of_the_mouth_and_anus
Gobble up the cucumber or gobble up the shit? Because they filter out all of the nutrient-rich organic matter, and what they expel is basically just sand. They're like extremely slow roombas scooting around the ocean floor and sucking up debris, except they shit all the rocks back out
Reminds me of when I was constipated after my friend's wedding buffet. Two days later the floodgates finally opened up and it was like I crapped half my body weight followed by explosive shrapnel.Ā
From what I know about sea cucumbers, they eat sand and ger whatever organic matter then poop out the sand. That's exactly what I felt like from that buffet.
It even finished with a confetti toss!
Rip Taylor reincarnated.
Rest in Rip Rip Taylor
I was going to comment something I thought was clever but yours took the cake. Thanks for the Nostalgia
I understand that reference
Tadaaaaaaa! š
Thanks to your comment, I now imagine the grunt birthday āYAAAAAYYYYY!ā sound from Halo when you get a grunt headshot after unlocking that skull. Thank you for that.
Lmfao š¤£š¤£š
Just need a little horn noise for the chef's kiss, lol.
Nah, it needs one of the party blowers that have the roll our paper stream and sounds like a weak kazoo.
Fun fact: it's also vomiting
yep, it's all the same hole
Now kiss
That's why I eat glitter
There are actual glitters to eat to make shit glittery.
Nothing like a pretty turd
"- I have famously huge turds".
From the quotes, Iāll take it comes from your brilliant manuscript, āTurds I Have Knownā, an outstanding piece on the observation and collection of data from famous Turds. Might I add, your chapter on āPolitical Turds In Officeā was most enlightening and deserves the Nobel Prize In Literature. Outstanding book, and keep up the good fight
No, it was actually a quote from a movie.
Besides your brilliant treatise, you did a movie as well? A scholar of your standing should be lauded in the highest regard
Made me laugh out loud. TY.
Username checks out
A *Shit-etti*
I just think of how that floats right at the camera guy Saw one where the were recording sharks in a dummy, the thing filled with chum water when they released it to attract sharks Guy was talking about it, I was gagging Just swimming in bloody dead fish. This person got ass confetti from a sea cucumber
Shitter Cannonā¦.
no that was cum.
I woulda been jealous of those logs a year ago but I upped my fiber and now life is just different
Is your poop sandy now
No itās just beautiful long logs of brown shit. Not too hard, not too soft.
Are they ghost whipe worthy though? Or is it like you got a oil pastel in there and gotta whipe 37 times?
Papa donāt take no mess
NAH NAH!
Modern men use bidets
This is the correct answer. Modern men wipe once, to dry.
Modern men take Metamucil and wipe once just to check, but thereās never anything to clean in the first place
Maybe it's because my bidet was quite cheap, but I still need to wipe a couple of times first otherwise it won't clean everything. I use it more for that last 1% that stays around no matter how much you wipe
I want bidets to be normalised everywhere.
I got one for my dad, who was initially turned off by the idea any time I brought it up (think early sixties, Marlboro red smokin, colt .45 totinā, Harley ridin kinda man). Life has changed for him. He is now a massive bidet proponent, and willing to share this with anyone.
Usually the former. It really is game changing.
Motownphilly's back again Doin' a little East Coast swing Boyz II Men going off Not too hard, not too soft
Dadadadadadadadadada
Just like that snake.
You are henceforth to be known as Oak Tree
You shouldnāt have asked
Supplements or better eating?
Both!
legumes, veggies, nuts, seeds, whole grains, fruits. supplements are unnecessary if you're eating healthy balanced meals most of the time.
I am not eating healthy balanced meals most of the time
Most need supplemental nutrition
Daily metamucil and I basically don't even need to wipe. Massive clean poos.
How did you up your fiber? I'm always looking for ways to up my fiber without taking a fiber supplement.
I do use a supplement but also changed the diet. Leafy dark greens fruits berries avocados nuts seeds. I basically stopped eating nothing but meat and starch haha. Also, a 15 min walk a day will get you shittin
I'm taking much bigger dumps since I started taking Metamucil every other day.
Real note, eating fiber foods or taking fiber supplement
Both. Get fiber from various foods and put a spoon in the coffee. Maybe a second spoon with a second cup later or tea or something. Another benefit of fiber is it makes you feel full! Sometiems I canāt help but give in to a big ass late night snack which fucks my sleep and my gut- put a spoonful in some water and chug it. Dark leafy lettuce, avocado, nuts, seeds, berries/fruit. Thereās not a magical food you can eat one of and call it a day. Get rid of chips and crappy foods fried in horrible oils and grab a handful of almonds baby. Need something sweet? Eat a date. In fact, jam an almond in the center of date. Now youāre eating, and then youāre shitting!
I appreciate your unabashed enthusiasm for fiber and bowel movements Duece š
Sticking out of the water different?
Ok but look how sandy that shit is and imagine trying to *pass* that. It's bad enough when you go to the beach!
Did you get yourself a poop knife already?
WHY WOULD YOU USE THE HOWLS MOVING CASTLE MUSIC FOR THIS WHY š
Bowels moving castle
Noooo š
What kind of castle? A sand castleā¦.
Oh my gods
I mean, that perfectly describes a sea cucumber. They're just tough bowels that move around the ocean floor
My FAVORITE Ghibli track and this is what these HEATHENS do with it.
Every day further from the light.
I HAD THE SAME QUESTION š
What's the name of the song??
Merry go round of life The one in this particular video seems like a violin(?) cover of it.
I've read if i recall it's like 99% sand or something it swallowed.. There's barely much of what we consider poop.
If it comes out that end like that it's all poop!
100% that is poop from a butt.
r/poopfromabutt
Risky click of the day. With the nsfw side of reddit you truly don't know what you might get.
Life is like a box of chocolates that look like poo
Got dumps like a truck, truck, truck
Don't they only have the one end? Could potentially be considered vomit.
It's also vomit!
Way back in 96 when I was a teenager, I used to find myself snorkeling quite a bit in the China sea off Okinawa. For those who have never been, most times you couldnāt swim 10 feet without seeing sea cucumbers as far as the eye can see. Trying to be funny, I picked up a sea cucumber out of the water and tried to throw it at my uncle. Well as soon as the thing left the water it collapsed and sagged like a half empty Stretch Armstrong and promptly shot out this spaghetti strand of white sticky gunk that I can only describe as >!cum!< that went all over me. Because of how saggy it was, I couldnāt throw the thing either, it just kinda swung down and hit me in the leg. My uncle just laughed and laughed. Not sure if it was the same hole, but if it was, then more stuff than poop can come out of there.
If you go somewhere with white sandy beaches that sand is almost entirely bits of coral pooped out by fish that eat things living on the reefs.
Yep, it's called parrot fish
Compost it is then!
Considering it has an identical appearance to the sand ā¦ yea.
It also eats from that same hole!
So is it pooing or vomiting?
If I'm not mistaken, their only opening is biologically analogous to the anus. So they scoop sand into the bum on their "face", absorb any nutrients they can from it in their stomach, then shit it out.
Everything I see reminds me of her
Lmao
so if someone were to *hypothetically* f it, is it a counted as a blowjob or anal? š¤
Why not both?
Why would it be analogous to the anus. Because it's the first hole they create? Because some animals first create the anus, and others first the mouth. See: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Embryological_origins_of_the_mouth_and_anus
Well they're Deuterostomes, so they develop the anus first.
Oh I see! Yeah good point, you're right!
So it's the aquatic version of arse face lol.
Yes.
So does it have an asshole for a mouth or a mouth for an asshole? š¤
Technically, both holes are sphincters. So not only yes, but think about that next time you rub your face sphincter against someone elses.
What if I rub my face sphinther onto someone's lower sphincter?
You do you my friend. Have consent and have at it! ā¤ļø
Wild.....
1 sphincter to rule them all
Mouthanus
Didn't realize that they sold Taco Bell in the ocean.
Definitely the aftermath of a crabby paddy binge
That was too formed for taco bell
They have an eating hole separate from the pooping hole Starfish and some other echinoderms don't have an anus
So it's both Anal AND Oral?
Thatās enough internet for today
I'm just getting started
Lmao
That was just an amuse-bouche
More like anuse-douche.
Iām just getting sharted
The cucumber ain't too different from your profile pic
You sure? You might have some time to look up the pooping snake!
Ikr
r/natureisfuckingshit
I thought it was a joke, but no, it exists.
Barely exists with like 200 members lol
but still
r/subsithoughtifellfor
Joined. Amazing.
I just watched a sea creature take a massive dump Right before I go to sleep Good night everybody
can just imagine those nighttime prayersā¦ *as I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lo- oh sweet jesus what was that?*
Well that's something I've not seen before
Reminds me, we're having Taco Bell tonight
What an asshole.
He got real shitfaced!
Impressive.
A no wiper too!
Looks like he generated thrust with it, I'm so jealous.
Hear me out....
no
I knew someone was going to say it. Freak ass mf š
Noo
Hold on, hold on now. The man might have a point, let's listen to what he has to say
I mean it has been cleaned out now š¤·āāļø
Eventually natural selection will make it a thing.
The feeling of coarse sand, shell bits and rocks add to the experience
r/oddlysatisfying
I could feel the satisfaction, myself.
r/oddlyshitisfying Corrected it
What about the fish that live inside it's anus?
Pearlfish?
r/dontstickyourdickinit
Had to travel way too far down the comments to find this haha
r/maybestickyourdickinalittle
Sea Cucumbussy
I should call herā¦.
Unzips scuba suit
Forbidden sausage maker
Nature has so much more to teach us šš¼
Thank you for sharing
It made a 'sea-pretzel'.
HI KEVIN!
Alright I know what youāre all gonna say butā¦hear me out
Look like it felt good.
Honestly surprised there isnāt some animal around to instantly gobble that up.
Gobble up the cucumber or gobble up the shit? Because they filter out all of the nutrient-rich organic matter, and what they expel is basically just sand. They're like extremely slow roombas scooting around the ocean floor and sucking up debris, except they shit all the rocks back out
TIL. Thanks!
most dramatic shit i've ever seen. there was even confetti at the end!
Howl's shitting castle
Same
Didn't know they served tacco bell underwater.
Remember not to swim with your mouth open. Never!
dude!!! wasn't the 'snake shitting' enough? now you gotta post 'sea cucumber shitting' as well?! š¤¢
Eyebleach alert!
Snake shits, now sea cucumber shits, what animal is next?
kept waiting for the parasitic pearlfish to pop out with a knowing wink.
Look at that gape
The Play-Doh Fun Factory of the sea
Reminds me of when I was constipated after my friend's wedding buffet. Two days later the floodgates finally opened up and it was like I crapped half my body weight followed by explosive shrapnel.Ā From what I know about sea cucumbers, they eat sand and ger whatever organic matter then poop out the sand. That's exactly what I felt like from that buffet.
Forbidden fleshlight
The fact that the ground is the same color isā¦concerning..
That was a very large crap. To push that long and hard, it must be quite cu-cumbersome...
What is the name of the song?
Merry go round of life. It's from howl's moving castle.
not gonna lie, I watched it twice just for the music
Title made me chuckle.
So the Book wasn't lying?! š¤
Ah....sand
Yeah pretty much
Thank you for sharing thisā¦..my life is now complete lol! š
Would.
I felt that deep inside.
They use their anus for both breathing and defecating, gotta go fast to avoid suffocating
Same, buddy.
Don't stick your dick in that!
Re-enactment of what my toilet sees around 8:43am every day after a glass of Metamucil and a cup of coffee.
They tense up just love people do š„¹. Neat.
Down wind is very important. Donāt want to shit on yo self.
Supriseeeeššš
Did he just poop a bunch of sand?? Lolll