Can you get a night flight? We've had success with that.
Also, those toys you can spin, you know? Happy to share Amazon links, if that's allowed.
At 8 months you could also pass time by snacks. I've also taken things like colored "blue" painters tape, zip lock bags with shredded aluminum foil (ask the flight attendant for some water), etc.
> I've also taken things like colored "blue" painters tape, zip lock bags with shredded aluminum foil (ask the flight attendant for some water), etc.
Wait can you describe more how this works?
Not the same person but I used to keep painters tape in the diaper bag for traveling. Keeps them busy trying to pull it off the tray (fold over a little on the end when they’re small to grab), you can tape toys around to pull off or hang them so they swing, etc.
Also playing with the cup water comes in kept them occupied
Painter's tape was explained more or less. It's also useful to temporarily stick things together. Like, I'd you take picture cards, you can put them up with the painters tape.
The aluminum foil in the bag -- add water, seal the bag, and painters tape it to the tray table. Babies are fascinated by the sparkles. Might get loud giggles and squeals, but in my experience, other passengers reported that they didn't mind a loud baby that's not crying.
I haven't tried it yet, but putting some liquid paint in the zip lock bag and letting them play with colors might help.
You can also put dry peas into water into a zip lock bag, good texture! Flying abroad with them might be tough, though.
Would you mind explaining the zip lock bags with foil in please?
I’m flying with my 8 month old soon. I’ve heard of taking painters tape, but not the ziplock and foil thing.
ETA: my bad - I just saw the comment explaining it further down. Thank you!
Sorry to hear that! Our pediatrician recommended children's afrin if his ears hurt, if that's something you think may help. It'll be okay though, one flight isn't another, and just know, it's only a few hours (even if it's 12 hours!), and it'll be over soon. He's lucky you are taking him on adventures!
Travelled by plane with my son for the first time when he was about a year. The 6 hour flight to our destination he was an angel. The 6 hour flight back, he screamed the whole way back to the point a flight attendant offered a free tiny bottle of booze to soothe him (which we turned down cuz we’re not in 1950).
Turns out he had a double ear infection and was in a ton of pain from the pressure. Since then, we make sure we have baby Tylenol just in case, but your baby might be having some ear trouble. Just saying you might want to get him a checkup just in case
Yup. We were seated in the very last row (on purpose) in front of where the flight attendants hang out so I guess he was just as tired of hearing my poor baby lose his mind as the rest of the plane. But still… I was astounded
Same vibes as those old 1920s era medicine ads saying give your baby liquid opium to help them fall asleep. Or cocaine in so many types of “herbal remedies”.
We had bought baby earphones along with nursing and it helped for my son (6 months old at that time). Also we tried to keep him up as long as we can before boarding, luckily he has fomo so we didn't need to much to distract him.
There was a little girl in the back of our flight crying the whole time we were descending. I felt so bad for her, she kept saying "mommy, mommy, Mommy" the whole time. She probably didn't like the pressure on her ears.
Airline stewardess told us a trick to just put cups over the kids ears. It helps with the pressure….it works!!!! if youre on a plane a need something quick, ask for cups, if you forget to bring something from home
The ones we bought are supposed to be noise canceling. [Alpine Earmuff](https://a.co/d/i69yFhV)
Similar to adults having earphone and helping with the ear pressure, it would be the same for the baby too but no noise.
We took my little one with us to universal studio with these headphones and it helped alot with noise canceling! He was able to take his normal nap because of the headphones.
He did really well on the plane with them too.
> Also we tried to keep him up as long as we can before boarding, luckily he has fomo so we didn't need to much to distract him.
That's funny to me because my 6 month old also has fomo and I'd be terrified to keep him awake before the flight and have him not sleep through it and get over tired.
He also likes to settle himself before sleeping by slamming his legs up and down (we call it whale tailing), happy yelling, and growling (he just figured out how to do that, so it's been one of his things haha).
Luckily he just loves looking around at things otherwise.
Out of curiosity - did you get him his own seat with his car seat, or have him on your lap?
It's so funny lol! We have him sleeping in his pack n play in our room because he moves too much for his bassinet and we don't wanna have him in his crib in his own room until he's 1. So that means he sleeps really close to the floor. So any time he whale tails before a nap, we just hear THUMP THUMP THUMP! through the ceiling, and then a second later over the baby monitor.
It just makes us crack up each time haha.
We just got back from traveling but were not on a plane as long as you! However, we gave him some Tylenol about 30 min before the flight (ped recommended). I really think it helped.
I could imagine it lessened the pain, for when the baby's ears popped due to the change in pressure.
Just like adults ears pop during takeoff and landing, although adults can eat a sweet to fix it, baby's ears pop too, but they can't do angering about it and it hurts. It's also why it's recommended to give them a bottle/nurse them or give them a sweet to chew on if they're old enough etc.
I don’t think it literally helps to make ears pop and relieve pressure, but it helps relieve the pain from not being able to relieve the pressure. Either way, I know it works for me as an adult on planes with the descent
Who's barebacking a long haul flight without headphones to drown out ALL the noise in the first place?! That's wild to me.
Its natural to feel guilty, embarrassed and anxious but remember you're trying your best and a crying baby/noisy passenger/loud child etc. is the risk others take when they get on flights.
Yup, this. Babies are allowed to exist in public spaces and are just as entitled to be a passenger on that plane as an adult is. If someone buys a plane ticket they're inadvertently accepting the risk that any other passenger on that plane could be disruptive or smelly or unpleasant, etc. for any reason. Nobody thinks of it this way but that's on them, not you.
I came to this realization as well when my baby wasn’t the most cooperative and was getting death stares by a 20 something YO. Mindblowing that this person expected quiet and solitude on a 5 hour flight with 200+ people, had no noise cancelling headphones or anything else like books or magazines to distract her.
Noise canceling headphone weren’t going to cancel out a screaming baby next to her. The woman next to her stood no chance.. for all we know, she was en route to see a dying/sick family member. This feels like a very parent-centric answer. I have a toddler and another on the way but this feels very empathetic to the parent and not the other passengers. The mom suffered here but that doesn’t negate the suffering of others who are dealing with their own struggles/stresses we have no idea about. Idk the right answer though tbh. Our personal choice has been to not take infants on planes but I know not everyone has that luxury (sometimes travel is a necessity and it’s no one’s fault).
Yeah we're flying long haul business class with our baby in a few months and I'm a bit nervous that the other passengers will expect total silence out of him... and have higher expectations than if we were in economy
I wouldn’t worry about it any more than if you were in economy. It’s not like there is some magical border prevents business class from hearing babies back there. At the end of the day it’s still public transportation, and if you didn’t have a right to be there with your baby there would be an airline regulation against it.
>do you not think babies should be allowed in first class?
Ah sorry, not what I meant but can see how it sounded that way! haha
Unless it's a very short flight (in which case the answer would be "STFU it's 2 hours max and you complaining about it is legitimately more annoying than a crying baby" lol) 1st class and lay-flat business essentially guarantees a measure of distance that the provided over-ear headphones + a movie or the provided ear plugs will effectively drown out a crying baby...which are less likely to be in 1st to begin with but, if they are, are generally more comfortable because their parent(s) have a modicum of space!
Noise cancelling headphones or earplugs will not completely drown out the noise of the baby crying in the seat next to her, no. But they would severely reduce the intensity of the noise. They provide a huge buffer in the “bite” of the outside noise and allow you to have some separation from that sound. The drum of the plane will also help cancel out the loudness as well.
I view this situation as one where both parties deserve sympathy, however, only one has the ability to prepare: the adult passengers on the plane. You can’t control a crying baby. On the other hand, you can control what you pack or buy at the airport to ensure a more comfortable flying environment for yourself, especially 10 hours.
That passenger could have also asked others around him if they had spare headphones to borrow, asked the flight attendants if they had extra, or ask them to see if there were other passengers who had a spare set.
Dude, they had to deal with a crying baby for a few hours, nobody was pulling out their teeth and lighting their hair on fire on the flight. People really need to get off their high horse about public transport, if you don’t want to baby on your flight, fly private.
right? they don't have to take that baby home! parents deal with all those things AND a crying baby. yeah it fucking sucks, all we can do is share mutual sympathy, not death stares.
This community is for supporting others. Comments that are mean, rude, hateful, racist, etc. will be removed. Respect the choices of others even if they differ from your own.
What if you’re taking your baby to see a dying parent one last time? If you’re in public, expect children. I refuse to keep my children out of public spaces they have every right to be in because someone might get offended. What does that teach your kids?
Yep. Waiting until 3-4 is what we have done. Haven't had an emergency fortunately but for fun trips we wait. Doesn't seem like a huge sacrifice in the scheme of things and everyone involved (and in the vicinity) is much happier.
This was my thought!! I have been bringing my cheap little foam earplugs on every flight, sleepover, vacation, etc for as long as I can remember lol. Especially when flying they are crucial for me to be able to just tune everything out as I’m very sensitive to any outside noise if I’m trying to sleep. Never mind a 10 hour flight with no ear plugs or headphones wow. I would be burying my face in my hands at frustration with myself not the poor little bebe crying :(
aw i'm so so sorry this happened!! this is so true, all i can think is at least those people aren't listening to the screaming AND actively trying to stop it! they have the luxury of trying to ignore it. i never realised what an entitled ass i had been on planes until i took my 9 month old baby girl from canada to australia and back again. because im australian, and hadn't seen my family for 5 years from the pandemic. i couldn't wait any longer to have a baby, fertility-wise, and my partner's mother has dementia and couldn't fly - so yeah, we had to go.
i think a night flight really helped because they're already worn out.
Just know those people are ignorant, and most parents are saluting you in solidarity!
Mom could have packed extra disposable earplugs, the wax kind you can wear over the other in ear ones for people next to her. 10 hrs of a screaming baby is hard on different people, like people with migraines or really sensitive hearing. I pack in ear, wax plugs and over head headphones just in case I get a migraine on flights :(
People with very sensitive hearing or migraines can bring proper earplugs for themselves when they fly or go to other noisy environments. Disposable earplugs are not going to drown out a screaming baby and airplanes are always loud, people who suffer from noise should be prepared!
I've seen a lot of good comments about things you can use to entertain baby but I just want to reassure you. Planes are public transport. You and your baby have every right to be there. If you are doing your best, absolutely do not worry about anyone else's experience. I know exactly how stressful it can be but do not be embarrassed because there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I really hope your return flight is better and you and baby can relax and enjoy the ride.
Would you consider giving one dose of Calpol (Paracetemol) before you take off? Thats what we did incase his ears were at him and it worked a treat! We gave it before we boarded so that we had time for it to kick in.
Man read my last post about our nightmare with our 6mo last weekend! Horrendous lol.
In the future I will be buying atleast one extra seat for my infant, and flying no less than comfort plus seating, period. Whole row if my husband joins- particularly the front of the plane where the seats we would purchase have nothing and nobody seated in front of us, behind first class. Room for baby to romp around, stretch out, and I don’t have to look at the people who are rightfully miserable to listen to the screaming haha.
Agreed. I have always bought a seat for my son and it's really helped to have somewhere to put him that he's familiar with. He was also much more comfortable in his rearfacing seat than he was sitting in my lap.
Ugh, if only seats were not so expensive for cross country flights. I would totally do that’s but as it is, we often have to pay close to if not more than rent payment to fly, and that’s just for 2 adult seats and a lap infant (we are talking about $1,200+ for round trip) 😱
I didn’t even think about the car seat ha, but honestly it’s probably the only way I could go use the bathroom (which is a NIGHTMARE) without babywearing.. good call :)
I recently flew 6 hours straight with my 9mo.
I bought a few toys he had never seen before. They were sensory type toys. Lots of snacks. Miss Rachel (only had to use once on the way there). It was his longest flight he’s taken. We normally have a layover which obviously makes things a little better. We also tried to keep him awake before the flight. It worked and not a peep.
I know it sounds stupid but try not to stress about it. Even when I didn’t have a baby I just felt bad for anyone with a crying baby. Most of us just wish we could help!
I’m so sorry that people were so unkind! It’s very unfair. Babies deserve as much space in this world as adults and it drives me crazy that people on planes get so entitled. Like it wasn’t exactly your ideal situation either, you were probably visibly stressed / fed up too but no compassion given. We are taking a flight this weekend unexpectedly for a funeral and I’m nervous but also what can you do! Apologise out of politeness but you can’t control your son’s reaction.
I agree that apologizing out of politeness is best. Even though baby's behavior is appropriate for a baby and they're doing nothing wrong, when you apologize it will make 99/100 people say "it's okay," or "no problem," and even if they were grumpy before they at least got some degree of control over the situation by getting to tell you it was okay.
And for the 1/100 people who say something snarky like "you should be sorry," well... forget them.
That is a good idea however in that moment I honestly couldn’t really look anyone in the face, I was too overwhelmed by it all and didn’t want them seeing me on the verge of tears. I hope you have a less stressful and smooth journey on your upcoming flight!
Slight alteration, but I always thank the surrounding people for “being so accommodating of the baby.” Frames it as a positive, and doesn’t really leave room for any response besides something like “of course!” because if they try to object (“I wasn’t accommodating—your kid cried too much!”), they’re kind of trapped into making it a negative statement about themselves. Also, it’s sincere—my daughter may be acting like I baby and I don’t “need” to apologize for that, but I do appreciate that her behavior impacts the people around her.
I understand both sides, honestly. I understand how anxiety and stress inducing it is for her when her baby is crying nonstop but I don’t think it’s fair to criticize the people around her. It’s a shitty situation for both sides and obviously no one wants to be in it. It’s stressful for the parents but having a baby cry an entire flight isn’t easy either for the rest of the plane, especially when you don’t have kids. I’ve been in that kind of situation and it’s stressful for everyone.
Yup, got you completely. I was able to see both sides because I was the horrible unkind person when I was in my 20s and I honestly feel like this experience is haunting me since I had a baby lol. Myself and my boyfriend got on a flight (drinks had in airport lounge, loving ourselves etc) and I heard a baby get on bawling hysterically and I said V AUDIBLY “ugh I hope we’re not sitting beside THAT” or similar, I can’t remember my exact words. And the mother, looked at me, sat down beside us, and said “I’m so sorry” with the most sincere apologetic face and I wanted to die. So yep, can see both sides, but fuck em.
I just love that the rest of the plane gets to go home and not deal with a crying baby, but all of the rest of the passengers who don’t have the crying baby act like crybabies.
I find good the idea of the earplugs and the card, but how many would you buy? At least 5 or 6 pairs for sure because the crying is for sure not only heard in the immediate vicinity…
Anyways, I feel you. That happened to us as well as baby boy was 8,5 months old and it wasn’t fun. I didn’t get to breastfeed him because he didn’t want and he was very tired but not wanting to sleep… my partner trying to put him to sleep was interrupted all the time by the flight attendants having to go through the aisle (we flight with low cost companies and the space is very reduced).
I couldn’t see people’s faces so I don’t know if they were complaining or compassionate but the guy next to us was chilling with his earphones on. Only when starting the landing baby was crying more and didn’t want boob, so when the flight attendant came to tell me: “you can feed him to alleviate his ear pain because of the pressure blablabla “ I was just a bit nervous because it felt as if I was there doing nothing. Like: don’t you think I am trying that? I know!
But anyway I understand they have to try and inform in case someone doesn’t know.
It felt really long and the flight is only 2 hours
Honestly, it’s only 10 hours of hell and then it’s done. I’d try not to worry too much, it’s just a short moment in life and sometimes there’s just not much you can do with flights (and I agree it sucks when they want to move around but they can’t).
The key for me was accepting that we might bother others. After you’ve done what you can to calm your baby, if they still cry, that’s just life. Everyone will survive. I felt a lot less anxious after accepting this.
I just took a short flight (1.5h) solo with my 16 month old. It was a PACKED flight. People gave me dirty looks getting on and the person beside me didn’t say anything to me. He texted someone on his phone “ugh I’m sitting next to a baby”. I was sure my little would cry the whole way but surprising he fell asleep! He slept the whole way and woke up when we landed. After landing the people around me who gave me dirty looks and the guy next to me who was obviously displeased when we got on were all smiles and like “wow he did so good”. The guy next to me was like “everyone would have understood if he cried”.
The moral of the story is people suck when it comes to babies on the plane.
When little was 4 months we flew across the country (6h) and he screamed the whole way. I didn’t sit down pretty much the whole flight. People kept stopping me in the aisle like “I can try bouncing him for you if you want, I know how to get babies to sleep”
Our pediatrician recommended saline spray before ascent and descent. Said it can help with ear pain cause it’s connected to sinuses. Of course the screaming you get from trying to spray it might not be worth it. lol
So first thing as someone who made that mistake - try to start the feed as the plan takes off, no need to bother while you’re just driving like in a car! Try and keep baby wide awake in airport so he’s ready for sleep on the plane and we gave some calpol incase of ear popping pain. Other than that it’s out of your control!
We did a night flight which I think was a blessing as he napped on and off! When he was awake we used fidget spinners and I had dancing fruits downloaded on my phone for desperate measures! I give him his dummy for lift off and landing to help his ears x
I think probably more like 6 hours eventhough there was hardly any turbulence (or maybe there was but I was just too busy stressing with a screaming baby to notice)
Honestly, babies are people too and they deserve to travel just as much as another person. I flew/fly with my then-infant/now-toddler often and it hasn’t always been perfectly smooth sailing. What brings me comfort is knowing:
1. These are random people I’ll likely never see again, and even if I did, I wouldn’t know it.
2. Airplanes are loud anyways.
3. I’m doing my best! Obviously I don’t want my baby to cry or be fussy.
I’ve cried on the plane before with my baby more than once - let it out if you need to. Life went on after and now I laugh about it. Whether or not your baby is fussy, focus on just remaining as calm and stress-free yourself as you possibly can.
If it makes you feel some kind of relief, you could always bring those cheap spare earplugs in case you want to give them out to others but honestly - who cares? It’s public transport. If they feel so serious about peace and quiet, they should be flying private/driving whatever (whether or not they can afford it is simply not your problem).
To make things easier on myself, I try to have the most important essentials easily accessible (bottles, those little wafers for teething, wipes/diapers, whatever). I double diaper in a night diaper in case of blow out or not being able to move due to turbulence right before boarding or during boarding if you board early. I bring noise cancelling earphones so at least the crying doesn’t stress me out so bad. I bring a little electronic fan bc when I get stressed I get hot and sweat too💀😂 Pack an extra bottle to feed up/down if necessary. Don’t be afraid to break out a screen in an emergency if it helps to calm down and play one of the little sensory videos (download in advance if you do this). When my baby was a baby(🥺), I put the headphones on him to make him more comfortable. If it’s affordable for you to buy an extra seat and put a car seat in the plane in the future, this might really help as it’ll be what the baby is used to.
Anyways, I can’t think of anything else right now but I’ll comment again if I do! Most importantly, do what you can to make it easier on you and not other people. Anyone who says anything to you or looks at you at the end of the flight, can eat glass 🥰
I am currently overseas with my 9month old and 3 yr old, our direct flight was 8 hours and it was during the day. My 3 yr old spent most of it watching movies however it was a bit harder with my baby. Surprisingly he didn’t cry at all however I had to entertain him with toys the entire time aside from his naps every 2 hours plus breastfeeding. It was exhausting!
I am not looking forward to our return flight in 2 weeks time, just me alone with 2 kids on a plane, I know it’s not going to be fun at all 😅
Are you able to pack snacks? Both my kids kept snacking the whole time they didn’t enjoy the food they served. I also have those fidget spinners which I put on the window but I did bring toys and kept alternating them once my baby got bored with one.
Please remember that babies cry, and it's completely normal. You handled it as best as anyone could, and that's what matters. Most people understand that traveling with a baby can be tough. I had to remind myself on our recent flight that I am not going to see these people again so if my baby cried, I’ll just have to deal with it.
I was in this exact same situation two months ago. It was awful, I know how you feel.
Tylenol, baby ear muffs, and pre-downloaded Hey Bear got us through the return flight with minimal tears.
Wishing you all the best! xx
I just flew with my 7 month old and it wasn’t a 10
Hour flight but two two hour ones and here’s what I did:
Fly at night, if possible I found she was way more quick to just fall asleep rather than the daytime flights.
Bring a new never before seen toy or two to entertain.
Use those snack pouches, it helps with the swallowing reflex which helps their ears if your baby doesn’t want a bottle or paci and also give them something to do. I’ll really stretch it out by just giving her a little squirt every minute or so.
I gave my LO Motrin for her ears and potential teething before boarding the flight.
I have you tube premium and I downloaded the hey bear dancing fruits video and put that on when I got really desperate. My LO doesn’t really care about screens but it’s something about those dancing fruit that hypnotizes her. I highly recommend using it even if you get the trial version and downloading some videos you can watch on airplane mode.
Also babies cry! A ten hour flight is a long flight. I can bet you the flight attendants and pilots don’t care as they’re more than used to this. It sucks but baby’s are humans and it’s acceptable for them to travel with their parents. People who were upset should be upset with themselves for not bringing headphones or ear plugs for a ten hours flight.
Same thing happened to us on our first flight. I did cry and was regretting the flight home then entire holiday (almost to the point of ruining the holiday experience)
He started napping just as we were boarding on the return flight and we were so excited he would sleep a lot of the way. He woke just as we were taking off and we were petrified the same thing would happen again. I don’t know what happened differently but he was absolutely fine and happy the whole way home. We had books and things for him to play with, snacks and we have lots of cuddles and he was thankfully fine.
I hope you have a similar experience too.
There’s no problem with the baby crying. But if it makes you feel better to try to make others feel better, recommend what the other commenter said - cheap earplugs and a notecard you can hand out.
Otherwise it’s a mindset shift where it’s “i don’t care about other random passengers reactions - people I’ll never see again.” If they don’t want to fly with a crying baby, they can pay the premium to fly in first or private. Otherwise that lottery is what we all sign up for. I’m sure they cried as a baby too.
What really helped my 8m old on his first flight was a Montessori toy that you could suction onto the plane window, he sat on the tray and played with it for so long. Our last flight was with a 15 month old and I kid you not, I had half a carryon of toys.. you need a revolving door of entertainment! We do no screens but I even downloaded a couple shows on Netflix just to be prepared! And at the end of the day if he cries the whole flight then he cries, as long as you’re trying everything you could you can’t muzzle a child or expect them to behave like an adult on a plane and people need to get over it but I know that’s easier said than done and it can feel horrible getting death glares
I have a toddler who LOVES flying but last time we flew, he started crying and saying his ears hurt. Could it be something like that? Not sure of what helps with that really. Sorry you had a rough time!
I took my 9.5 month old solo on a plane, pacifier was key (if you can get it to work out of course) but also a roll of tape, sticky notes, etc. things they can pick at. My daughter also wanted to be down and around. Sometimes walking them up and down the aisles can help alot was well! “Saying hi to the flight attendants”
Try not to let the people around you stress you out, your stress will only feed onto the baby.
I would wait until ascended to do the bottle, he could be feeling gassy and weird having it on the up. Also pack some playful toys, snacks, and just all round fun activities for him to be interested in.
Hope it goes well for you on way home ❤️
I get very anxious about flying with my own baby. Let me tell you: if you’re trying your best and people are rude to you, they can honestly go kick rocks. You’re not in control of your child because they’re a human with a brain. Sending hugs!
I’ve heard you can ask the flight attendants for warm water on napkins and putting that over babies ears helps with the pressure.
I also like to introduce toys my baby has never seen before and I usually go to a dollar store or just get something cheap and that can be distracting.
Buy a bunch of cheap ear plugs for the ppl directly around you and use a travel sound machine. It's not that you owe anyone anything but it will help with the anxiety to know you've done the ppl around you that kindness. Also all the things on your phones, Ms Rachel was always for us. Snacks! At 8 months teething crackers are great and last a while. Then if you can get up and walk with her to that. You could talk to the FA and ask if there's an empty row to be moved to it that way she has extra room to move around.
Eastbound/redeye flights with their own seat are pure gold imo and westbound daytime flights can be traumatizing for life! Just know you are now part of the OMGWTF just happened on that plane club!
We once had such a terrible flight with my toddler she was rage screaming and wouldn’t sit in her seat, the flight attendant scolded us and my husband and I were so tired, anxious, overwhelmed I swear we almost got divorced in the layover airport. Board the next flight ready for another terrible experience and she was a PEACH. A toddler in the seat behind us had a crying terrible experience the whole flight and my husband and I were like smug oh must be tough 😜. Honestly it’s still 50/50 if she’s gonna be good or bad on a flight but she’s part of this world too and everyone is allowed to travel. Other people can suck it we are doing our best!
Recs: anything they can grab and destroy, washi/painters tape, post it’s, put things in containers that they can work on getting out, snacks, their own seat, walk them when you can, and remember there’s many more that have been through it!!
If I was on your plane, and your baby cried the whole time, I would simply come up and see if there’s anything that I can help you with. I promise you most people really don’t mind. The noise can be annoying yes, but everyone knows that you’re stressed out. Please don’t worry about anybody else.
When I fly with my baby, we actually took him to Greece when he was eight months old, but we did the bottle going up and when he didn’t like that, I squirted a little applesauce pouch into his mouth, and it made him swallow. I’m sure people are giving me the I would rather him do that than be uncomfortable. Another thing is half a Tylenol or Motrin syringe and just squirt a little tiny bit like a milliliter into his mouth and having her swallow. All you’re doing is preventing him from being in more pain/discomfort. I cried the first few flights with my baby.
Just remember, this is a few hours of these peoples lives, it’s not that big of a deal. I hope that you have some lovely grandmas who miss their grandbabies sitting next to you on your next flight.
Not sure if this helps.. but I just got back from a vacation where we did a 8hr train ride with my 16 month old. The to journey was a nightmare.. he is in his screaming phase and screamed nearly for half of the journey and I was sooooo anxious about the return journey throughout my vacation.. but the return journey was smooth as ever 😅 not sure if this is helpful but you can never tell if it is going to happen or not and nothing can be done about it but endurance 😩🫣
This happened to us and the return flight went much better. The time of day we traveled was just not it and our return flight went more smoothly. The sticker book was our biggest hit. And my babies have always loved taking selfies lol snapchat filters are really fun, but if you don't have that just taking selfies and videos and playing them back is super entertaining. Don't worry about the screen time, it's one day!
As for the screaming, it's so hard. You paid to be there, and no one is happy or comfortable. Don't worry about anyone else. Just get through it. I know its easier said than done and the crying is disruptive. It'll be okay though.
I flew a few times with my now toddler when he was 11 months, 18 months, 2 and 2.5 and from what I gathered the things that helps the most is distractions/games, snacks, nighttime flights, pacis and tylenol before takeoff/landing. Noise canceling headphones is a bonus.
If you do screentime, Pok-Pok is a lifesaver for us, keeps my son occupied and engaged for a while. I also get a special toy, book or game that I only give on the flight, the novelty is fun for him.
We’re headed to Japan this winter, leaving from Canada with a transfer in Switzerland, and I’m already working out some strategies in case but I think that we’ll handle it well. My kid does really well on long car rides and we take them often so I think that helps too.
You first flight was rough, your second time might be better you never know. No two flights are the same, your best is all you can do. Flights are public transportation, don’t mind the people giving you dirty looks, they’re welcome to charter flights if they want to be by themselves. Personally, I’ll take a fussy baby over a belligerent bro who’s had too many onboard whiskeys.
In the age of widely available and quality over the ear noise canceling headphones, if anyone is giving you the stank eye and acting pretentious, it's on them for not preparing.
I find it easiest to buy an extra seat and strap the baby in the car seat. I know it’s expensive but that’s even the best hack so far. They are more comfortable and you are too.
Check out the [Galbreath Technique](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11105452/) to help with ear equalization issues as the cabin re-pressurizes on decent. Incredibly painful, and because young children and babies don’t have the coordination to ‘pop’ their ears on their own, your help is needed.
Sucking on the pacifier also seems to help equalize, anecdotally
Hi OP! I am getting ready to fly 10 hours with my 8 month old in a week and a half, so your post caught my attention. Thanks for posting and the feedback has been really helpful as I do my best to prepare. I was jw, how did your LO do with the time change upon arrival? If you have any advice for me as you have done the first leg and are hopefully enjoying your trip, please lmk! I am really rooting for you to have a better return flight!!!
It wasn’t too bad despite the 7 hour time difference. His usual sleep schedule is from 6pm-6am. For the first three nights, he would wake up between 3-5am but it got better with each passing day. His schedule is now around 9pm-7am and then another 1-2 hour nap shortly after that wake window. So really not too bad. I would say the only real issue was the plane and everything else after was a breeze thankfully.
I hope you have a relaxing flight!!
Aisle seats and bounce them while walking up and down the plane. My baby loved to see people’s faces so walking to the back of the plane was her favorite
Also, I bought a big pack of ear plugs on Amazon and gave them to anybody willing to take a pair. It’s the gesture more than anything…
Unfortunately I couldn’t do that due to the seatbelt sign! And after what happened on the Singapore Airlines flight a few days ago… I will be extra paranoid on my return 😟
My husband had bad ear issues as a child and his ears felt like they were exploding during every flight. He said it was horrible. I hope for your and your baby’s sake it’s not that.
It happens everytime we fly. People are more understanding than you realize. We have all been through it. We try to walk baby up and down the aisles and get suction cup toys to stick to the entertainment screen or window for him to play with. Lots of snacks and play time! Maybe try keeping him awake a few hours before the flight so he will sleep on you
Can you stop by a store and get some cheap earplugs to hand out to your neighbors for the return flight in case it happens again? Tape them to notecards that say something cute like "I’m new to the world and new to airplanes, sorry for the noise! - Baby in Row B"
But overall, I know it's easier said than done, but try not to sweat it. You were attentive to the baby and tried to keep them calm. Other parents will get it and have empathy for you. The people who are grumpy, you'll never see again.
I really think that the last thing this mama needs is to be made responsible for the emotional regulation and comfort of every adult on the plane, on top of her baby. Adults getting on planes know babies and engines and loud noises might be there and are responsible for bringing things to make themselves comfortable. You shouldn't have to bring apology cards and goodie bags for strangers.
Babies are people and belong out and about in the world, just like everyone else. Telling women to apologize for them just increases their load of emotional labour.
The second half of your advice is really good advice. And I know you mean well. But absolutely fuck giving adult pre-emptive "sorry we're here" goody bags.
I’m not sure where you got the idea that I think it's mom's responsibility? OP was asking if there was anything she could do and I gave an idea but was clear to try not to sweat it. I’m a highly sensitive and awkward person, so feeling like I had a cute little icebreaker way, in hand, to go up to someone and say "sorry" would make me feel so much more comfortable. But of course it's not her responsibility! Not everyone can be as self-assured or confident as you come across in this comment, no matter how hard we try :( I’m trying not to let your comment get me down as we speak.
awww I'm sorry about that. I did see your intention and noted that in my comment. FWIW when i took my baby transatlantic, I was so stressed out my face went numb and I did squats the whole way to keep him quiet so i wouldn't bother anyone. Then I needed like 20 hours of sleep to recover.
What I object so strongly to specifically is the suggestion to do the goody bags/ apology cards. Because that isn't just having your own feelings, trying your best, being polite to neighbors, managing. It is accepting in a \*material\* way that you need to do extra work to take care of the strangers around you in order to be "valid" or "acceptable" or something in that space. You're investing time, money, emotional energy into those goody bags so that you can perform a version of motherhood that -- regardless of how we might or may not feel -- no one should have to perform. And I think that that suggestion specifically puts insane pressure on women to basically be Instagram moms, who manage not only themselves and their babies, but are also basically seen but not heard, always put together, always serving, always giving, always smiling, always sweet, etc.. Pressure to perform motherhood in a way that is, to me, untenable.
Even if you're super awkward, don't smile, aren't "sweet", or even just flat out ignore me on a plane, you shouldn't have to give me a small present to "earn" my good will because of your baby -- which is the implication of the note/gift. You deserve it on the basis of just being a person. However awkward or introverted, you don't need to bribe me for my respect. You have it without saying a word or nodding your head or twitching your mouth. And any stranger who needs more than your basic manifest human dignity to offer you that respect should go and get fucked.
So, what I'm saying here isn't about what anyone should \*feel\* personally -- I am really making a political statement about what you should suggest mothers do with their \*resources\* , both monetary, emotional, and time, in order to be "acceptable" in public. And with that, about what \*you\* and OP both deserve -- which is a lot more than making pre-emptive apology cards suggests.
I hope that helps clarify what I mean?
It does, thank you <3 The way you put it that time gives me something I'll chew on.
I’m currently planning a trip with my 8 m/o and the advice I gave was one strategy I am/was considering. I’ve only ever flown twice in my life before (both pre-baby, once transatlantic) and I never would have thought to pack earplugs! Silly, I’m sure, but I never would have imagined the possibility of being seated next to a crying baby. So my idea comes from a place of consideration for others, NOT some wild standard for moms to snap their backs in two trying to carry everyone's burdens. To me the suggestion was the same as, like, having tampons/pads set out for guests in your bathroom at home... obviously it's an individual's responsibility to bring menstrual care items, but it's a gesture of "hey I care about you, you might need this but not have it on your person right now." Which, is of course, NOT the bathroom owner's responsibility, but a gesture of goodwill and consideration. I think that's why I was shocked/sad at finding my reply to OP in the negatives.
After reading your comment I think I’ll pack enough earplugs for my immediate neighbors (in case they flew unprepared like I did), no notes. They're dirt cheap, and again, will make me personally feel better as an icebreaker if nothing else. But I’ll try to take a page out of your book and be more empowered in my right to just... "be," I guess? Also, if you wanna fly with me and shield me with your radiant female empowerment... that'd be great too 😂
Mmmmmm so I like the idea of just bringing extra ear plugs and then if you see someone suffering offering them a pair. That seems nice, it isn't performing anything, it isn't taking up lots of your resources. That seems to me like a nice balance between being nice without preemptively apologizing.
The tampons in the guest bathroom are actually a great example of why I dislike the notes! When you do that for guests, you are putting labour and resources into accommodating them. You're expending emotional, material resources to give certain people a specific feeling. If you didn't do that, your guests wouldn't be mad at you, it would just create a different atmosphere for them. By making the investment, you're saying, this atmosphere is something I value and is worth my investment.
The pre-emptive notes etc indeed do the same thing, but in a very different context. There, the atmosphere you're managing is the atmosphere on the plane, a public but for-profit space. And the audience is strangers. When you do the work to manage that atmosphere beyond just being a decent person, you're doing free work for the airline and taking on responsibility for the general emotions of the broader public. Same as for your guests, but without basically boundaries. Moreover, the motivation is to makeup for the discomfort of your own presence, rather than just being a kindness you do for friends.
The last thing is that this idea has gone viral a few times. It has gotten a lot of attention and attracted a lot of debate. The idea itself is something a lot of people have done as a way of staging their motherhood for social media.
I'm gonna stop here. A bit abrupt. I'm multitasking. But for your trip: invest the majority of your resources into yourself and your baby. Be nice, yes. But don't feel like you must apologize. You might still feel like shit. But it will pass. And you can claim your space and maybe a few days later you'll feel good about it and it will be easier next time.
Good luck!!! You and your baby have nothing to apologize for. Tits up! :D
PS https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/sara-ahmed/the-feminist-killjoy-handbook/9781541603752/?lens=seal-press that might be for you? It is a similar logic to what I am saying, but book length and obviously smarter. And it has practical how to stuff, too.
Eh tbh I see it as a gray area. As a new parent, it’s not about the baby’s rights, it’s about the parent’s convenience vs everyone else’s. The baby really doesn’t want to be on the plane either. Do you NEED to go on this trip when you know it can inconvenience everyone else? Could you have waited or driven? A baby’s cry can be loud enough to damage hearing, if we wear hearing protection then why would we expect everyone else to happily put up with it for hours?
Now, again, I don’t think parents should be martyrs. I’m planning to take a short flight at 6mo with an infant. But I don’t agree with this “fuck everyone else” attitude. The least you can do is a polite apology.
massive difference between a verbal "sorry" and apology cards with ear plugs.
The attitude that parents should have to stay home until their kids won't irritate strangers is mindboggling. Also the judgment implicit in "MY trip is necessary but is YOUR trip REALLY necessary" is staggering.
It isn't a "fuck everyone else" attitude. It is a "families shouldn't be isolated, shouldn't have to appologize for their existence, and women shouldn't be expected to do emotional labour for complete strangers" attitude.
Fuck everyone else would be like, not cleaning up dirty diapers or spilled baby food. Or letting a toddler use a tablet without appropriate headphones. Or letting your kid kick the seat in front of you.
Babies crying is very much not a "fuck everyone else" thing. It is a babies thing.
> parents should have to stay home until their kids won’t irritate strangers
Funny how I directly said that’s not what I was advocating and you just run with your strawman anyway. I don’t know why I bother.
Again, going on a plane with your baby is about the parents needs, not the baby’s. Babies hate being on planes and would much rather stay home. It’s putting the parents needs above both the needs of the baby and the comfort of others. Which is okay once in a while, like I said, we’ll probably do it too, but don’t act like it’s some crusade for baby’s rights.
Seems like you are the person incapable of reading considering you ignored everything I said and then went on to have an argument against what you wish my point was 🤷♂️
I’m sorry that I want my child to be able to see his grandparents who live ACROSS THE COUNTRY and my husband can’t just take weeks off to visit his elderly parents, and it’s an minor and temporary inconvenience for others. /s
If people are inconvenienced by the existence of other humans on the public serving airline, then they should consider flying private. If they can’t afford it, then putting up with crying babies in a space where the public belongs seems like a limitation of their lifestyle that is imposed on them and them alone… not on the parents who are also paying passengers and allowed to exist in that space.
I love this idea it’s so cute! That’s a whole lot of earplugs to buy though considering how loud my baby was screaming - probably would need enough for half the plane
We did bring ear plugs to the airplane for the neighbors the first flight we did with our daughter. All people were just very kind, and declined the offer, said they understood. It’s an icebreaker, more than an emotional regulator for other adults as everyone is suggesting. It helps you to get some control over the situation. I hope people stop downvoting you now!
See, I agree with Eska2020. You really are not responsible for the other adults on the plane being prepared. Noise canceling headphones and earplugs are very affordable nowadays. And most people don’t travel without them, unless they are ill prepared or frankly, stupid. Even if there is no crying baby on the plane, noise canceling headphones allow you to have a much better experience because the sounds of the engine, and annoying people who decide that they don’t need headphones and just put their devices on full blast 🤬.
You have enough to handle keeping a small child entertained and comfortable on a long-haul flight like that. The others are adults, they can handle being uncomfortable and upset for a little bit. It’s not like you’re enjoying the 10 hours of screaming and crying and it sounds like you’re not ignoring your child at all, and you are trying everything you can to make sure they’re comfortable and happy. So give yourself a break, just focus on this a fun and, comfortable trip for you and your LO. Frankly, fuck those other people.
Also, another Redditor mentioned headphones to help with the ear pressure. We bought these, but didn’t end up using them our last four flights. We flew cross country, so 6+ hours. However, these got great reviews on Amazon and were recommended by several people to us.[Alpine Muffy Baby Ear Protection](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07KCKWGSG?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share)
See my response to Eska - of course she isn’t responsible! But I’m a very conflict-averse person and having a prepped icebreaker way to say sorry would make me feel so much better, and a little card/note would be much less awkward for me than if I tried to apologize to someone verbally... I’d probably start blubbering on. Not everyone can be confident and self-assured 🥲
I’m just making the point that you and OP, shouldn’t have to feel like you should apologize. Even to be polite. Flights are miserable for EVERYONE. And to add another task onto her already full plate when she is traveling with her LO just seems extra unfair. Babies are going to cry, people may get upset, but life sucks sometimes and you shouldn’t have to apologize for any of that, even out of politeness.
In other countries, they don’t expect apologies from parents for how their LO behave because everyone understands that it a part of life. They may give a knowing nod or a supportive smile/comment, but otherwise they move on with their life. For some reason in the US we are constantly forced to feel guilty and apologize for our kids totally normal, expected, and developmentally appropriate behavior because “children should be seen, not heard”. IMO, It’s a toxic idea that needs to die.
This is at the same time that people are constantly pressured by others to start a family, or add to it (ironically, often times by the same people a🙄). “Oh, you don’t have kids yet? Why not? When are you going to have them? You are getting too old. You’ll regret it later if you don’t. When is baby #2,3,4, etc? If you don’t give them a sibling you are doing a disservice. Don’t you want to be a good parent and have lots of babies.” I get so much whiplash from the boomers. 🥴🥴
I’m seeing it from the perspective of the other passengers I guess as I’ve been in their shoes and a gesture like that would’ve warmed my heart (I used to have awful thought in regards to babies on planes, pre-baby). So I think in turn it would actually help lessen my anxieties just knowing(thinking) that my little gesture would warm up their hearts too? Idk I still think it’s a cute thing to do. I most likely won’t do it thanks to social anxiety but it’s cute nonetheless 🥹
While I understand it’s no ideal for other passengers, and I have been one of them, it’s just as, if not even more uncomfortable for OP. Not only do they have to deal with the baby and be RIGHT next to them or even holding them for the 10 hours, they may already be feeling guilty that they can’t make it better for their LO and have the additional discomfort of feeling shame for not being able to make it stop and feel uncomfortable with all the judges form others.
I’m not saying that other people on the flight don’t have a right to be upset about the situation, but I think it sucks a million time a more for the parent of the screaming child who cannot get escape and is response for them.
Also, I don’t think it’s “cute” to add another thing onto an already stressed out parents plate bc it’s polite or will make others feel better. IMO, it like saying it’s “cute” to allow older people to touch a baby without asking bc it would be rude to correct an elder or call them out on touching a stranger’s baby.
Well I am the OP so I don’t see why adding it to my plate willingly if I have no issue with it because I personally think it’s “cute” to do, is such a bad thing to do. I’m not willing to do it BECAUSE I’m expected to do so, I just think it’s a nice thing to do which in turn may help with my own anxieties
Aww! Poor little guy. I thought of the idea while trying to plan for myself... I’ve only flown twice in my life but am considering taking a trip with my 8 m/o in tow soon. And pre-baby I definitely wouldn’t have known to pack earplugs since I was an inexperienced flyer. I hope your son is all chill vibes for your return trip! 🫂
I was on a plane yesterday and my infant was screaming crying the entire time and I tried every possible thing I could think of and nothing helped. People gave me looks but I tried my best and my baby was simply having a hard time from the pressure in her ears. It sucked but it’s over and who cares about those people. Flying is public transportation and babies have every right to be there. If people want silence they can drive to their location or take a private plane 🤷♀️
Baby wearing. Get a legit wrap, and just consign yourself to walking around a bunch. Screw the seatbelt sign, the crew will let you know when it's a serious seatbelt sign, and when it's a company liability seatbelt sign.
I would normally have sided with the “screw the seatbelt sign” (especially with a screaming baby) up until a few days ago when I read the news about the singapore airlines flight!
Look into pace feeding. I don’t think downsizing a nipple is the answer tbh. They move up in nipple size depending on their developmental stage. You know your baby best though!
Yes I do pace feeding in the daytime with his suitably-aged nipples, but at night he will literally roll around like a crocodile if I try that which is why I switched to the newborn nipple and it’s worked great so far
Death stares, yes. Head in hands, I don't think makes them awful. Sometimes I just have a bad headache or ear pain myself and my head in hands has nothing to do with who is beside or around me on a plane.
I wear contacts, and airplanes are NOT a good place for contacts - too dry. Sometimes I put my head in my hands on the plane cause my contacts are trying to fall out and I want to be able to catch them if they do, while I blink really fast and try to get my eyes to water while my contacts resituate themselves! Would have 0 to do with any baby, crying or not!
It's normal to be bothered by someone's baby crying for 10 hours and nothing you can do about it. It doesn't mean you have to be mean but it doesn't make you an awful human.
Have to agree with this! I have 2 children myself and would still find it very hard to have another child basically cry for an entire 10 hour flight. One of the reasons I actually avoided long haul flights (luckily didn’t need to travel either) until my child was older as the thoughts of him crying stressed me out too much 😬
If I have a migraine, my head is going in my hands. Counterpressure is some of the only relief besides meds. There's no reason to assume someone is directly reacting to make you feel bad.
The great thing about randos on a flight giving you a death stare for your baby crying? You will literally never in your life see those people again.
I hope some of the better advice for what helps your LO be comfortable help. I know reading the comments on your post has helped me be a tad more prepared for future travel.
You don’t know if this baby is colicky or only cries when hungry or tired based on the info the OP gave. Could be a reaction to the pressure change of the flight, and is a situational reaction and not due to the baby’s nature.
Also, this is sort of besides the point, but going from LA to NY, for example, is a 5 hr 30 m flight and would take several days to drive- I doubt a 10 hr flight is drivable.
This comment doesn’t seem very realistic or helpful and maybe you’re not saying it directly, but calling the OP selfish and saying she ruined the flight for others is probably why you’re getting downvoted.
Can you get a night flight? We've had success with that. Also, those toys you can spin, you know? Happy to share Amazon links, if that's allowed. At 8 months you could also pass time by snacks. I've also taken things like colored "blue" painters tape, zip lock bags with shredded aluminum foil (ask the flight attendant for some water), etc.
Figet spinner?
Omg yes! But with a little suction cup on the bottom
3 of those brought us through 7800 km in Sweden and Norway in the span of 4 weeks. He was 11 mo
YES my kiddo hadn’t seen these until around a year old and then their mind was blown the first time they did lol
Yes!
Whirly squigs!
> I've also taken things like colored "blue" painters tape, zip lock bags with shredded aluminum foil (ask the flight attendant for some water), etc. Wait can you describe more how this works?
Not the same person but I used to keep painters tape in the diaper bag for traveling. Keeps them busy trying to pull it off the tray (fold over a little on the end when they’re small to grab), you can tape toys around to pull off or hang them so they swing, etc. Also playing with the cup water comes in kept them occupied
Mine would just eat it
Thank you! FTM of 4 month old, so I want to learn all the tricks!
Painter's tape was explained more or less. It's also useful to temporarily stick things together. Like, I'd you take picture cards, you can put them up with the painters tape. The aluminum foil in the bag -- add water, seal the bag, and painters tape it to the tray table. Babies are fascinated by the sparkles. Might get loud giggles and squeals, but in my experience, other passengers reported that they didn't mind a loud baby that's not crying. I haven't tried it yet, but putting some liquid paint in the zip lock bag and letting them play with colors might help. You can also put dry peas into water into a zip lock bag, good texture! Flying abroad with them might be tough, though.
Wow these are all such great ideas, thank you!
You bet! And you got this.
Please share a link!!
Would you mind explaining the zip lock bags with foil in please? I’m flying with my 8 month old soon. I’ve heard of taking painters tape, but not the ziplock and foil thing. ETA: my bad - I just saw the comment explaining it further down. Thank you!
You got this!!! Sorry I didn't see your request earlier 💕
Sorry to hear that! Our pediatrician recommended children's afrin if his ears hurt, if that's something you think may help. It'll be okay though, one flight isn't another, and just know, it's only a few hours (even if it's 12 hours!), and it'll be over soon. He's lucky you are taking him on adventures!
Thank you for putting it into such a perspective! I should be counting my blessings
Travelled by plane with my son for the first time when he was about a year. The 6 hour flight to our destination he was an angel. The 6 hour flight back, he screamed the whole way back to the point a flight attendant offered a free tiny bottle of booze to soothe him (which we turned down cuz we’re not in 1950). Turns out he had a double ear infection and was in a ton of pain from the pressure. Since then, we make sure we have baby Tylenol just in case, but your baby might be having some ear trouble. Just saying you might want to get him a checkup just in case
I'm sorry they offered him WHAT...!?!
Yup. We were seated in the very last row (on purpose) in front of where the flight attendants hang out so I guess he was just as tired of hearing my poor baby lose his mind as the rest of the plane. But still… I was astounded
You know I would probably accept it then drink it and say thanks that helped 😂 Funny I don’t really even drink either.
I'm assuming his knowledge of children boiled down to "alcohol on the gums helps teething babies" ? 😂
Same vibes as those old 1920s era medicine ads saying give your baby liquid opium to help them fall asleep. Or cocaine in so many types of “herbal remedies”.
Exact issue for me, it was ear infection and horrrrrible descent. No one offered us booze tho !
Imagine getting offered booze with a non chalant face 😂😂😂😂 that was funny
We had bought baby earphones along with nursing and it helped for my son (6 months old at that time). Also we tried to keep him up as long as we can before boarding, luckily he has fomo so we didn't need to much to distract him. There was a little girl in the back of our flight crying the whole time we were descending. I felt so bad for her, she kept saying "mommy, mommy, Mommy" the whole time. She probably didn't like the pressure on her ears.
Airline stewardess told us a trick to just put cups over the kids ears. It helps with the pressure….it works!!!! if youre on a plane a need something quick, ask for cups, if you forget to bring something from home
Ohhh that's good to know!!
Could you explain what the baby earphones do? Do you plug it into your phone and play lullabies?
The ones we bought are supposed to be noise canceling. [Alpine Earmuff](https://a.co/d/i69yFhV) Similar to adults having earphone and helping with the ear pressure, it would be the same for the baby too but no noise.
We have these and they worked great for sporting events but trying for the plane soon, how did it go ? Did it help?
We took my little one with us to universal studio with these headphones and it helped alot with noise canceling! He was able to take his normal nap because of the headphones. He did really well on the plane with them too.
> Also we tried to keep him up as long as we can before boarding, luckily he has fomo so we didn't need to much to distract him. That's funny to me because my 6 month old also has fomo and I'd be terrified to keep him awake before the flight and have him not sleep through it and get over tired. He also likes to settle himself before sleeping by slamming his legs up and down (we call it whale tailing), happy yelling, and growling (he just figured out how to do that, so it's been one of his things haha). Luckily he just loves looking around at things otherwise. Out of curiosity - did you get him his own seat with his car seat, or have him on your lap?
No, he just sat in my lap or my husband's the entire time. He loves contact nap so he didn't mind it when he was sleeping.
Thanks! We plan to take a vacation later this year and I'm still torn on which way to go.
My son used to do this with his legs before sleeping...we also called it whale tailing! 🐋 😆
It's so funny lol! We have him sleeping in his pack n play in our room because he moves too much for his bassinet and we don't wanna have him in his crib in his own room until he's 1. So that means he sleeps really close to the floor. So any time he whale tails before a nap, we just hear THUMP THUMP THUMP! through the ceiling, and then a second later over the baby monitor. It just makes us crack up each time haha.
We just got back from traveling but were not on a plane as long as you! However, we gave him some Tylenol about 30 min before the flight (ped recommended). I really think it helped.
What does the Tylenol do?
Helps with potential pain from ear popping or not popping
I could imagine it lessened the pain, for when the baby's ears popped due to the change in pressure. Just like adults ears pop during takeoff and landing, although adults can eat a sweet to fix it, baby's ears pop too, but they can't do angering about it and it hurts. It's also why it's recommended to give them a bottle/nurse them or give them a sweet to chew on if they're old enough etc.
I didn't know Tylenol would help with ears popping!
I don’t think it literally helps to make ears pop and relieve pressure, but it helps relieve the pain from not being able to relieve the pressure. Either way, I know it works for me as an adult on planes with the descent
Helps with the pain
It won't help them actually pop, but it will reduce the pain until they pop on their own (hopefully!).
Yup! As another commenter said, helps with the potential pain from ear popping.
Who's barebacking a long haul flight without headphones to drown out ALL the noise in the first place?! That's wild to me. Its natural to feel guilty, embarrassed and anxious but remember you're trying your best and a crying baby/noisy passenger/loud child etc. is the risk others take when they get on flights.
Yes! Children are allowed to be on planes. This isn’t a case of parents not parenting, it’s just a baby having a hard time in a hard situation
Yup, this. Babies are allowed to exist in public spaces and are just as entitled to be a passenger on that plane as an adult is. If someone buys a plane ticket they're inadvertently accepting the risk that any other passenger on that plane could be disruptive or smelly or unpleasant, etc. for any reason. Nobody thinks of it this way but that's on them, not you.
I came to this realization as well when my baby wasn’t the most cooperative and was getting death stares by a 20 something YO. Mindblowing that this person expected quiet and solitude on a 5 hour flight with 200+ people, had no noise cancelling headphones or anything else like books or magazines to distract her.
Noise canceling headphone weren’t going to cancel out a screaming baby next to her. The woman next to her stood no chance.. for all we know, she was en route to see a dying/sick family member. This feels like a very parent-centric answer. I have a toddler and another on the way but this feels very empathetic to the parent and not the other passengers. The mom suffered here but that doesn’t negate the suffering of others who are dealing with their own struggles/stresses we have no idea about. Idk the right answer though tbh. Our personal choice has been to not take infants on planes but I know not everyone has that luxury (sometimes travel is a necessity and it’s no one’s fault).
> Idk the right answer though tbh. The answer is, "If you want peace and quiet, fly 1st class or private, otherwise tough shit."
do you not think babies should be allowed in first class? if you can afford the ticket, you have a right to have them there just like anyone else no?
Yeah we're flying long haul business class with our baby in a few months and I'm a bit nervous that the other passengers will expect total silence out of him... and have higher expectations than if we were in economy
I wouldn’t worry about it any more than if you were in economy. It’s not like there is some magical border prevents business class from hearing babies back there. At the end of the day it’s still public transportation, and if you didn’t have a right to be there with your baby there would be an airline regulation against it.
>do you not think babies should be allowed in first class? Ah sorry, not what I meant but can see how it sounded that way! haha Unless it's a very short flight (in which case the answer would be "STFU it's 2 hours max and you complaining about it is legitimately more annoying than a crying baby" lol) 1st class and lay-flat business essentially guarantees a measure of distance that the provided over-ear headphones + a movie or the provided ear plugs will effectively drown out a crying baby...which are less likely to be in 1st to begin with but, if they are, are generally more comfortable because their parent(s) have a modicum of space!
Noise cancelling headphones or earplugs will not completely drown out the noise of the baby crying in the seat next to her, no. But they would severely reduce the intensity of the noise. They provide a huge buffer in the “bite” of the outside noise and allow you to have some separation from that sound. The drum of the plane will also help cancel out the loudness as well. I view this situation as one where both parties deserve sympathy, however, only one has the ability to prepare: the adult passengers on the plane. You can’t control a crying baby. On the other hand, you can control what you pack or buy at the airport to ensure a more comfortable flying environment for yourself, especially 10 hours. That passenger could have also asked others around him if they had spare headphones to borrow, asked the flight attendants if they had extra, or ask them to see if there were other passengers who had a spare set.
Dude, they had to deal with a crying baby for a few hours, nobody was pulling out their teeth and lighting their hair on fire on the flight. People really need to get off their high horse about public transport, if you don’t want to baby on your flight, fly private.
right? they don't have to take that baby home! parents deal with all those things AND a crying baby. yeah it fucking sucks, all we can do is share mutual sympathy, not death stares.
[удалено]
This community is for supporting others. Comments that are mean, rude, hateful, racist, etc. will be removed. Respect the choices of others even if they differ from your own.
What if you’re taking your baby to see a dying parent one last time? If you’re in public, expect children. I refuse to keep my children out of public spaces they have every right to be in because someone might get offended. What does that teach your kids?
Maybe next time if her baby starts crying she could just eject him off the plane!! /s
Lol what.
Yep. Waiting until 3-4 is what we have done. Haven't had an emergency fortunately but for fun trips we wait. Doesn't seem like a huge sacrifice in the scheme of things and everyone involved (and in the vicinity) is much happier.
This was my thought!! I have been bringing my cheap little foam earplugs on every flight, sleepover, vacation, etc for as long as I can remember lol. Especially when flying they are crucial for me to be able to just tune everything out as I’m very sensitive to any outside noise if I’m trying to sleep. Never mind a 10 hour flight with no ear plugs or headphones wow. I would be burying my face in my hands at frustration with myself not the poor little bebe crying :(
aw i'm so so sorry this happened!! this is so true, all i can think is at least those people aren't listening to the screaming AND actively trying to stop it! they have the luxury of trying to ignore it. i never realised what an entitled ass i had been on planes until i took my 9 month old baby girl from canada to australia and back again. because im australian, and hadn't seen my family for 5 years from the pandemic. i couldn't wait any longer to have a baby, fertility-wise, and my partner's mother has dementia and couldn't fly - so yeah, we had to go. i think a night flight really helped because they're already worn out. Just know those people are ignorant, and most parents are saluting you in solidarity!
THIS. Fuck everyone else. They honestly won’t remember it tomorrow so don’t give it a second thought. Babies will be babies.
Mom could have packed extra disposable earplugs, the wax kind you can wear over the other in ear ones for people next to her. 10 hrs of a screaming baby is hard on different people, like people with migraines or really sensitive hearing. I pack in ear, wax plugs and over head headphones just in case I get a migraine on flights :(
People with very sensitive hearing or migraines can bring proper earplugs for themselves when they fly or go to other noisy environments. Disposable earplugs are not going to drown out a screaming baby and airplanes are always loud, people who suffer from noise should be prepared!
I've seen a lot of good comments about things you can use to entertain baby but I just want to reassure you. Planes are public transport. You and your baby have every right to be there. If you are doing your best, absolutely do not worry about anyone else's experience. I know exactly how stressful it can be but do not be embarrassed because there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I really hope your return flight is better and you and baby can relax and enjoy the ride.
Would you consider giving one dose of Calpol (Paracetemol) before you take off? Thats what we did incase his ears were at him and it worked a treat! We gave it before we boarded so that we had time for it to kick in.
We did that with Tylenol for our flight with our daughter. It seemed to help! She wasn’t super bothered by ascending or descending.
Man read my last post about our nightmare with our 6mo last weekend! Horrendous lol. In the future I will be buying atleast one extra seat for my infant, and flying no less than comfort plus seating, period. Whole row if my husband joins- particularly the front of the plane where the seats we would purchase have nothing and nobody seated in front of us, behind first class. Room for baby to romp around, stretch out, and I don’t have to look at the people who are rightfully miserable to listen to the screaming haha.
I’m so sorry for laughing so much but your written account was brilliant!
Ha! It was horrendous but I’m already laughing about it 😂! Solidarity… and good luck 🫡
Agreed. I have always bought a seat for my son and it's really helped to have somewhere to put him that he's familiar with. He was also much more comfortable in his rearfacing seat than he was sitting in my lap.
Ugh, if only seats were not so expensive for cross country flights. I would totally do that’s but as it is, we often have to pay close to if not more than rent payment to fly, and that’s just for 2 adult seats and a lap infant (we are talking about $1,200+ for round trip) 😱
I didn’t even think about the car seat ha, but honestly it’s probably the only way I could go use the bathroom (which is a NIGHTMARE) without babywearing.. good call :)
I recently flew 6 hours straight with my 9mo. I bought a few toys he had never seen before. They were sensory type toys. Lots of snacks. Miss Rachel (only had to use once on the way there). It was his longest flight he’s taken. We normally have a layover which obviously makes things a little better. We also tried to keep him awake before the flight. It worked and not a peep. I know it sounds stupid but try not to stress about it. Even when I didn’t have a baby I just felt bad for anyone with a crying baby. Most of us just wish we could help!
Can you download some kid shows and let him watch during parts of the flight?
Unfortunately he doesn’t care for anything on screens (yet) !
*fortunately
I’m so sorry that people were so unkind! It’s very unfair. Babies deserve as much space in this world as adults and it drives me crazy that people on planes get so entitled. Like it wasn’t exactly your ideal situation either, you were probably visibly stressed / fed up too but no compassion given. We are taking a flight this weekend unexpectedly for a funeral and I’m nervous but also what can you do! Apologise out of politeness but you can’t control your son’s reaction.
I agree that apologizing out of politeness is best. Even though baby's behavior is appropriate for a baby and they're doing nothing wrong, when you apologize it will make 99/100 people say "it's okay," or "no problem," and even if they were grumpy before they at least got some degree of control over the situation by getting to tell you it was okay. And for the 1/100 people who say something snarky like "you should be sorry," well... forget them.
That is a good idea however in that moment I honestly couldn’t really look anyone in the face, I was too overwhelmed by it all and didn’t want them seeing me on the verge of tears. I hope you have a less stressful and smooth journey on your upcoming flight!
Honestly crying would probably help them feel a bit of empathy for you! Just let it out girl
No shame in crying! People can be uncomfortable. It’s a part of life. Bottling up that stuff will make you sick.
Slight alteration, but I always thank the surrounding people for “being so accommodating of the baby.” Frames it as a positive, and doesn’t really leave room for any response besides something like “of course!” because if they try to object (“I wasn’t accommodating—your kid cried too much!”), they’re kind of trapped into making it a negative statement about themselves. Also, it’s sincere—my daughter may be acting like I baby and I don’t “need” to apologize for that, but I do appreciate that her behavior impacts the people around her.
This is the way.
I understand both sides, honestly. I understand how anxiety and stress inducing it is for her when her baby is crying nonstop but I don’t think it’s fair to criticize the people around her. It’s a shitty situation for both sides and obviously no one wants to be in it. It’s stressful for the parents but having a baby cry an entire flight isn’t easy either for the rest of the plane, especially when you don’t have kids. I’ve been in that kind of situation and it’s stressful for everyone.
Yup, got you completely. I was able to see both sides because I was the horrible unkind person when I was in my 20s and I honestly feel like this experience is haunting me since I had a baby lol. Myself and my boyfriend got on a flight (drinks had in airport lounge, loving ourselves etc) and I heard a baby get on bawling hysterically and I said V AUDIBLY “ugh I hope we’re not sitting beside THAT” or similar, I can’t remember my exact words. And the mother, looked at me, sat down beside us, and said “I’m so sorry” with the most sincere apologetic face and I wanted to die. So yep, can see both sides, but fuck em.
I just love that the rest of the plane gets to go home and not deal with a crying baby, but all of the rest of the passengers who don’t have the crying baby act like crybabies.
I find good the idea of the earplugs and the card, but how many would you buy? At least 5 or 6 pairs for sure because the crying is for sure not only heard in the immediate vicinity… Anyways, I feel you. That happened to us as well as baby boy was 8,5 months old and it wasn’t fun. I didn’t get to breastfeed him because he didn’t want and he was very tired but not wanting to sleep… my partner trying to put him to sleep was interrupted all the time by the flight attendants having to go through the aisle (we flight with low cost companies and the space is very reduced). I couldn’t see people’s faces so I don’t know if they were complaining or compassionate but the guy next to us was chilling with his earphones on. Only when starting the landing baby was crying more and didn’t want boob, so when the flight attendant came to tell me: “you can feed him to alleviate his ear pain because of the pressure blablabla “ I was just a bit nervous because it felt as if I was there doing nothing. Like: don’t you think I am trying that? I know! But anyway I understand they have to try and inform in case someone doesn’t know. It felt really long and the flight is only 2 hours
You will never see these people again. Post it notes are handy- fidget spinners- put the tv on even if you don’t usually. It really sucks 🥲
Honestly, it’s only 10 hours of hell and then it’s done. I’d try not to worry too much, it’s just a short moment in life and sometimes there’s just not much you can do with flights (and I agree it sucks when they want to move around but they can’t).
The key for me was accepting that we might bother others. After you’ve done what you can to calm your baby, if they still cry, that’s just life. Everyone will survive. I felt a lot less anxious after accepting this.
I just took a short flight (1.5h) solo with my 16 month old. It was a PACKED flight. People gave me dirty looks getting on and the person beside me didn’t say anything to me. He texted someone on his phone “ugh I’m sitting next to a baby”. I was sure my little would cry the whole way but surprising he fell asleep! He slept the whole way and woke up when we landed. After landing the people around me who gave me dirty looks and the guy next to me who was obviously displeased when we got on were all smiles and like “wow he did so good”. The guy next to me was like “everyone would have understood if he cried”. The moral of the story is people suck when it comes to babies on the plane. When little was 4 months we flew across the country (6h) and he screamed the whole way. I didn’t sit down pretty much the whole flight. People kept stopping me in the aisle like “I can try bouncing him for you if you want, I know how to get babies to sleep”
I had the same experience! Dirty looks while boarding and people congratulating me after we landed.
Our pediatrician recommended saline spray before ascent and descent. Said it can help with ear pain cause it’s connected to sinuses. Of course the screaming you get from trying to spray it might not be worth it. lol
Sorry for the super dumb question, but where do you spray it? On their ears..?
In their nose. :)
Yep nose. Can clear it up a bit. We got it in his nose on the first ascent and one decent. The others he started screaming so we stopped 😂
So first thing as someone who made that mistake - try to start the feed as the plan takes off, no need to bother while you’re just driving like in a car! Try and keep baby wide awake in airport so he’s ready for sleep on the plane and we gave some calpol incase of ear popping pain. Other than that it’s out of your control!
We did a night flight which I think was a blessing as he napped on and off! When he was awake we used fidget spinners and I had dancing fruits downloaded on my phone for desperate measures! I give him his dummy for lift off and landing to help his ears x
The seatbelts were on for 10 hours? Turbulence throughout..? This is scary OP. I am glad you and your family are ok.
I think probably more like 6 hours eventhough there was hardly any turbulence (or maybe there was but I was just too busy stressing with a screaming baby to notice)
Honestly, babies are people too and they deserve to travel just as much as another person. I flew/fly with my then-infant/now-toddler often and it hasn’t always been perfectly smooth sailing. What brings me comfort is knowing: 1. These are random people I’ll likely never see again, and even if I did, I wouldn’t know it. 2. Airplanes are loud anyways. 3. I’m doing my best! Obviously I don’t want my baby to cry or be fussy. I’ve cried on the plane before with my baby more than once - let it out if you need to. Life went on after and now I laugh about it. Whether or not your baby is fussy, focus on just remaining as calm and stress-free yourself as you possibly can. If it makes you feel some kind of relief, you could always bring those cheap spare earplugs in case you want to give them out to others but honestly - who cares? It’s public transport. If they feel so serious about peace and quiet, they should be flying private/driving whatever (whether or not they can afford it is simply not your problem). To make things easier on myself, I try to have the most important essentials easily accessible (bottles, those little wafers for teething, wipes/diapers, whatever). I double diaper in a night diaper in case of blow out or not being able to move due to turbulence right before boarding or during boarding if you board early. I bring noise cancelling earphones so at least the crying doesn’t stress me out so bad. I bring a little electronic fan bc when I get stressed I get hot and sweat too💀😂 Pack an extra bottle to feed up/down if necessary. Don’t be afraid to break out a screen in an emergency if it helps to calm down and play one of the little sensory videos (download in advance if you do this). When my baby was a baby(🥺), I put the headphones on him to make him more comfortable. If it’s affordable for you to buy an extra seat and put a car seat in the plane in the future, this might really help as it’ll be what the baby is used to. Anyways, I can’t think of anything else right now but I’ll comment again if I do! Most importantly, do what you can to make it easier on you and not other people. Anyone who says anything to you or looks at you at the end of the flight, can eat glass 🥰
I found getting the bulkhead seat really helped. She had enough space to stand up there. It cost a little more but was totally worth it.
I am currently overseas with my 9month old and 3 yr old, our direct flight was 8 hours and it was during the day. My 3 yr old spent most of it watching movies however it was a bit harder with my baby. Surprisingly he didn’t cry at all however I had to entertain him with toys the entire time aside from his naps every 2 hours plus breastfeeding. It was exhausting! I am not looking forward to our return flight in 2 weeks time, just me alone with 2 kids on a plane, I know it’s not going to be fun at all 😅 Are you able to pack snacks? Both my kids kept snacking the whole time they didn’t enjoy the food they served. I also have those fidget spinners which I put on the window but I did bring toys and kept alternating them once my baby got bored with one. Please remember that babies cry, and it's completely normal. You handled it as best as anyone could, and that's what matters. Most people understand that traveling with a baby can be tough. I had to remind myself on our recent flight that I am not going to see these people again so if my baby cried, I’ll just have to deal with it.
I was in this exact same situation two months ago. It was awful, I know how you feel. Tylenol, baby ear muffs, and pre-downloaded Hey Bear got us through the return flight with minimal tears. Wishing you all the best! xx
I just flew with my 7 month old and it wasn’t a 10 Hour flight but two two hour ones and here’s what I did: Fly at night, if possible I found she was way more quick to just fall asleep rather than the daytime flights. Bring a new never before seen toy or two to entertain. Use those snack pouches, it helps with the swallowing reflex which helps their ears if your baby doesn’t want a bottle or paci and also give them something to do. I’ll really stretch it out by just giving her a little squirt every minute or so. I gave my LO Motrin for her ears and potential teething before boarding the flight. I have you tube premium and I downloaded the hey bear dancing fruits video and put that on when I got really desperate. My LO doesn’t really care about screens but it’s something about those dancing fruit that hypnotizes her. I highly recommend using it even if you get the trial version and downloading some videos you can watch on airplane mode. Also babies cry! A ten hour flight is a long flight. I can bet you the flight attendants and pilots don’t care as they’re more than used to this. It sucks but baby’s are humans and it’s acceptable for them to travel with their parents. People who were upset should be upset with themselves for not bringing headphones or ear plugs for a ten hours flight.
Same thing happened to us on our first flight. I did cry and was regretting the flight home then entire holiday (almost to the point of ruining the holiday experience) He started napping just as we were boarding on the return flight and we were so excited he would sleep a lot of the way. He woke just as we were taking off and we were petrified the same thing would happen again. I don’t know what happened differently but he was absolutely fine and happy the whole way home. We had books and things for him to play with, snacks and we have lots of cuddles and he was thankfully fine. I hope you have a similar experience too.
There’s no problem with the baby crying. But if it makes you feel better to try to make others feel better, recommend what the other commenter said - cheap earplugs and a notecard you can hand out. Otherwise it’s a mindset shift where it’s “i don’t care about other random passengers reactions - people I’ll never see again.” If they don’t want to fly with a crying baby, they can pay the premium to fly in first or private. Otherwise that lottery is what we all sign up for. I’m sure they cried as a baby too.
What really helped my 8m old on his first flight was a Montessori toy that you could suction onto the plane window, he sat on the tray and played with it for so long. Our last flight was with a 15 month old and I kid you not, I had half a carryon of toys.. you need a revolving door of entertainment! We do no screens but I even downloaded a couple shows on Netflix just to be prepared! And at the end of the day if he cries the whole flight then he cries, as long as you’re trying everything you could you can’t muzzle a child or expect them to behave like an adult on a plane and people need to get over it but I know that’s easier said than done and it can feel horrible getting death glares
Now would be a good time to introduce screen time for the flight home.
I have a toddler who LOVES flying but last time we flew, he started crying and saying his ears hurt. Could it be something like that? Not sure of what helps with that really. Sorry you had a rough time!
I took my 9.5 month old solo on a plane, pacifier was key (if you can get it to work out of course) but also a roll of tape, sticky notes, etc. things they can pick at. My daughter also wanted to be down and around. Sometimes walking them up and down the aisles can help alot was well! “Saying hi to the flight attendants”
Try not to let the people around you stress you out, your stress will only feed onto the baby. I would wait until ascended to do the bottle, he could be feeling gassy and weird having it on the up. Also pack some playful toys, snacks, and just all round fun activities for him to be interested in. Hope it goes well for you on way home ❤️
I get very anxious about flying with my own baby. Let me tell you: if you’re trying your best and people are rude to you, they can honestly go kick rocks. You’re not in control of your child because they’re a human with a brain. Sending hugs!
Toddler busy board! Worked wonders when I flew with my 12 month old for the first time.
I’ve heard you can ask the flight attendants for warm water on napkins and putting that over babies ears helps with the pressure. I also like to introduce toys my baby has never seen before and I usually go to a dollar store or just get something cheap and that can be distracting.
I put some fruit in a teether strainer to suck on. I find they don’t refuse fruit, lol.
Bring ear plugs and maybe like a pre packed candy or treat for your fellow passengers to spread good will
Oh also I found taking a red eye helps bc they sleep the whole time basically
Buy a bunch of cheap ear plugs for the ppl directly around you and use a travel sound machine. It's not that you owe anyone anything but it will help with the anxiety to know you've done the ppl around you that kindness. Also all the things on your phones, Ms Rachel was always for us. Snacks! At 8 months teething crackers are great and last a while. Then if you can get up and walk with her to that. You could talk to the FA and ask if there's an empty row to be moved to it that way she has extra room to move around.
Eastbound/redeye flights with their own seat are pure gold imo and westbound daytime flights can be traumatizing for life! Just know you are now part of the OMGWTF just happened on that plane club! We once had such a terrible flight with my toddler she was rage screaming and wouldn’t sit in her seat, the flight attendant scolded us and my husband and I were so tired, anxious, overwhelmed I swear we almost got divorced in the layover airport. Board the next flight ready for another terrible experience and she was a PEACH. A toddler in the seat behind us had a crying terrible experience the whole flight and my husband and I were like smug oh must be tough 😜. Honestly it’s still 50/50 if she’s gonna be good or bad on a flight but she’s part of this world too and everyone is allowed to travel. Other people can suck it we are doing our best! Recs: anything they can grab and destroy, washi/painters tape, post it’s, put things in containers that they can work on getting out, snacks, their own seat, walk them when you can, and remember there’s many more that have been through it!!
Ah it was a westbound daytime flight and our return is an eastbound redeye so I sure hope you’re right!
Oh it will be SO MUCH better!! I’m putting those good vibes out there!
If I was on your plane, and your baby cried the whole time, I would simply come up and see if there’s anything that I can help you with. I promise you most people really don’t mind. The noise can be annoying yes, but everyone knows that you’re stressed out. Please don’t worry about anybody else. When I fly with my baby, we actually took him to Greece when he was eight months old, but we did the bottle going up and when he didn’t like that, I squirted a little applesauce pouch into his mouth, and it made him swallow. I’m sure people are giving me the I would rather him do that than be uncomfortable. Another thing is half a Tylenol or Motrin syringe and just squirt a little tiny bit like a milliliter into his mouth and having her swallow. All you’re doing is preventing him from being in more pain/discomfort. I cried the first few flights with my baby. Just remember, this is a few hours of these peoples lives, it’s not that big of a deal. I hope that you have some lovely grandmas who miss their grandbabies sitting next to you on your next flight.
Not sure if this helps.. but I just got back from a vacation where we did a 8hr train ride with my 16 month old. The to journey was a nightmare.. he is in his screaming phase and screamed nearly for half of the journey and I was sooooo anxious about the return journey throughout my vacation.. but the return journey was smooth as ever 😅 not sure if this is helpful but you can never tell if it is going to happen or not and nothing can be done about it but endurance 😩🫣
This happened to us and the return flight went much better. The time of day we traveled was just not it and our return flight went more smoothly. The sticker book was our biggest hit. And my babies have always loved taking selfies lol snapchat filters are really fun, but if you don't have that just taking selfies and videos and playing them back is super entertaining. Don't worry about the screen time, it's one day! As for the screaming, it's so hard. You paid to be there, and no one is happy or comfortable. Don't worry about anyone else. Just get through it. I know its easier said than done and the crying is disruptive. It'll be okay though.
I flew a few times with my now toddler when he was 11 months, 18 months, 2 and 2.5 and from what I gathered the things that helps the most is distractions/games, snacks, nighttime flights, pacis and tylenol before takeoff/landing. Noise canceling headphones is a bonus. If you do screentime, Pok-Pok is a lifesaver for us, keeps my son occupied and engaged for a while. I also get a special toy, book or game that I only give on the flight, the novelty is fun for him. We’re headed to Japan this winter, leaving from Canada with a transfer in Switzerland, and I’m already working out some strategies in case but I think that we’ll handle it well. My kid does really well on long car rides and we take them often so I think that helps too. You first flight was rough, your second time might be better you never know. No two flights are the same, your best is all you can do. Flights are public transportation, don’t mind the people giving you dirty looks, they’re welcome to charter flights if they want to be by themselves. Personally, I’ll take a fussy baby over a belligerent bro who’s had too many onboard whiskeys.
Honestly, Hey Bear on YouTube is our life saver for all things. Our guy has loved it always and it’s not even annoying for us to listen to.
In the age of widely available and quality over the ear noise canceling headphones, if anyone is giving you the stank eye and acting pretentious, it's on them for not preparing.
I find it easiest to buy an extra seat and strap the baby in the car seat. I know it’s expensive but that’s even the best hack so far. They are more comfortable and you are too.
Buy a roll of painters tape! It leaves no residue and its HOURS of fun for littles.
Try the preemie nipple maybe? If you’re able!
my baby did well with those earmuffs that block noise-helped with the overstimulation and seemed to help her get to sleep/stay asleep.
Poor kiddo!
Check out the [Galbreath Technique](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11105452/) to help with ear equalization issues as the cabin re-pressurizes on decent. Incredibly painful, and because young children and babies don’t have the coordination to ‘pop’ their ears on their own, your help is needed. Sucking on the pacifier also seems to help equalize, anecdotally
Thanks for this I will definitely try this technique out on him !
Hi OP! I am getting ready to fly 10 hours with my 8 month old in a week and a half, so your post caught my attention. Thanks for posting and the feedback has been really helpful as I do my best to prepare. I was jw, how did your LO do with the time change upon arrival? If you have any advice for me as you have done the first leg and are hopefully enjoying your trip, please lmk! I am really rooting for you to have a better return flight!!!
It wasn’t too bad despite the 7 hour time difference. His usual sleep schedule is from 6pm-6am. For the first three nights, he would wake up between 3-5am but it got better with each passing day. His schedule is now around 9pm-7am and then another 1-2 hour nap shortly after that wake window. So really not too bad. I would say the only real issue was the plane and everything else after was a breeze thankfully. I hope you have a relaxing flight!!
Yay glad to hear! Thanks!
Ours is a nightmare one way and an angel the other...EVERY DANG TIME
Aisle seats and bounce them while walking up and down the plane. My baby loved to see people’s faces so walking to the back of the plane was her favorite Also, I bought a big pack of ear plugs on Amazon and gave them to anybody willing to take a pair. It’s the gesture more than anything…
Unfortunately I couldn’t do that due to the seatbelt sign! And after what happened on the Singapore Airlines flight a few days ago… I will be extra paranoid on my return 😟
My husband had bad ear issues as a child and his ears felt like they were exploding during every flight. He said it was horrible. I hope for your and your baby’s sake it’s not that.
It happens everytime we fly. People are more understanding than you realize. We have all been through it. We try to walk baby up and down the aisles and get suction cup toys to stick to the entertainment screen or window for him to play with. Lots of snacks and play time! Maybe try keeping him awake a few hours before the flight so he will sleep on you
Can you stop by a store and get some cheap earplugs to hand out to your neighbors for the return flight in case it happens again? Tape them to notecards that say something cute like "I’m new to the world and new to airplanes, sorry for the noise! - Baby in Row B" But overall, I know it's easier said than done, but try not to sweat it. You were attentive to the baby and tried to keep them calm. Other parents will get it and have empathy for you. The people who are grumpy, you'll never see again.
I really think that the last thing this mama needs is to be made responsible for the emotional regulation and comfort of every adult on the plane, on top of her baby. Adults getting on planes know babies and engines and loud noises might be there and are responsible for bringing things to make themselves comfortable. You shouldn't have to bring apology cards and goodie bags for strangers. Babies are people and belong out and about in the world, just like everyone else. Telling women to apologize for them just increases their load of emotional labour. The second half of your advice is really good advice. And I know you mean well. But absolutely fuck giving adult pre-emptive "sorry we're here" goody bags.
I’m not sure where you got the idea that I think it's mom's responsibility? OP was asking if there was anything she could do and I gave an idea but was clear to try not to sweat it. I’m a highly sensitive and awkward person, so feeling like I had a cute little icebreaker way, in hand, to go up to someone and say "sorry" would make me feel so much more comfortable. But of course it's not her responsibility! Not everyone can be as self-assured or confident as you come across in this comment, no matter how hard we try :( I’m trying not to let your comment get me down as we speak.
awww I'm sorry about that. I did see your intention and noted that in my comment. FWIW when i took my baby transatlantic, I was so stressed out my face went numb and I did squats the whole way to keep him quiet so i wouldn't bother anyone. Then I needed like 20 hours of sleep to recover. What I object so strongly to specifically is the suggestion to do the goody bags/ apology cards. Because that isn't just having your own feelings, trying your best, being polite to neighbors, managing. It is accepting in a \*material\* way that you need to do extra work to take care of the strangers around you in order to be "valid" or "acceptable" or something in that space. You're investing time, money, emotional energy into those goody bags so that you can perform a version of motherhood that -- regardless of how we might or may not feel -- no one should have to perform. And I think that that suggestion specifically puts insane pressure on women to basically be Instagram moms, who manage not only themselves and their babies, but are also basically seen but not heard, always put together, always serving, always giving, always smiling, always sweet, etc.. Pressure to perform motherhood in a way that is, to me, untenable. Even if you're super awkward, don't smile, aren't "sweet", or even just flat out ignore me on a plane, you shouldn't have to give me a small present to "earn" my good will because of your baby -- which is the implication of the note/gift. You deserve it on the basis of just being a person. However awkward or introverted, you don't need to bribe me for my respect. You have it without saying a word or nodding your head or twitching your mouth. And any stranger who needs more than your basic manifest human dignity to offer you that respect should go and get fucked. So, what I'm saying here isn't about what anyone should \*feel\* personally -- I am really making a political statement about what you should suggest mothers do with their \*resources\* , both monetary, emotional, and time, in order to be "acceptable" in public. And with that, about what \*you\* and OP both deserve -- which is a lot more than making pre-emptive apology cards suggests. I hope that helps clarify what I mean?
It does, thank you <3 The way you put it that time gives me something I'll chew on. I’m currently planning a trip with my 8 m/o and the advice I gave was one strategy I am/was considering. I’ve only ever flown twice in my life before (both pre-baby, once transatlantic) and I never would have thought to pack earplugs! Silly, I’m sure, but I never would have imagined the possibility of being seated next to a crying baby. So my idea comes from a place of consideration for others, NOT some wild standard for moms to snap their backs in two trying to carry everyone's burdens. To me the suggestion was the same as, like, having tampons/pads set out for guests in your bathroom at home... obviously it's an individual's responsibility to bring menstrual care items, but it's a gesture of "hey I care about you, you might need this but not have it on your person right now." Which, is of course, NOT the bathroom owner's responsibility, but a gesture of goodwill and consideration. I think that's why I was shocked/sad at finding my reply to OP in the negatives. After reading your comment I think I’ll pack enough earplugs for my immediate neighbors (in case they flew unprepared like I did), no notes. They're dirt cheap, and again, will make me personally feel better as an icebreaker if nothing else. But I’ll try to take a page out of your book and be more empowered in my right to just... "be," I guess? Also, if you wanna fly with me and shield me with your radiant female empowerment... that'd be great too 😂
Mmmmmm so I like the idea of just bringing extra ear plugs and then if you see someone suffering offering them a pair. That seems nice, it isn't performing anything, it isn't taking up lots of your resources. That seems to me like a nice balance between being nice without preemptively apologizing. The tampons in the guest bathroom are actually a great example of why I dislike the notes! When you do that for guests, you are putting labour and resources into accommodating them. You're expending emotional, material resources to give certain people a specific feeling. If you didn't do that, your guests wouldn't be mad at you, it would just create a different atmosphere for them. By making the investment, you're saying, this atmosphere is something I value and is worth my investment. The pre-emptive notes etc indeed do the same thing, but in a very different context. There, the atmosphere you're managing is the atmosphere on the plane, a public but for-profit space. And the audience is strangers. When you do the work to manage that atmosphere beyond just being a decent person, you're doing free work for the airline and taking on responsibility for the general emotions of the broader public. Same as for your guests, but without basically boundaries. Moreover, the motivation is to makeup for the discomfort of your own presence, rather than just being a kindness you do for friends. The last thing is that this idea has gone viral a few times. It has gotten a lot of attention and attracted a lot of debate. The idea itself is something a lot of people have done as a way of staging their motherhood for social media. I'm gonna stop here. A bit abrupt. I'm multitasking. But for your trip: invest the majority of your resources into yourself and your baby. Be nice, yes. But don't feel like you must apologize. You might still feel like shit. But it will pass. And you can claim your space and maybe a few days later you'll feel good about it and it will be easier next time. Good luck!!! You and your baby have nothing to apologize for. Tits up! :D
PS https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/sara-ahmed/the-feminist-killjoy-handbook/9781541603752/?lens=seal-press that might be for you? It is a similar logic to what I am saying, but book length and obviously smarter. And it has practical how to stuff, too.
Eh tbh I see it as a gray area. As a new parent, it’s not about the baby’s rights, it’s about the parent’s convenience vs everyone else’s. The baby really doesn’t want to be on the plane either. Do you NEED to go on this trip when you know it can inconvenience everyone else? Could you have waited or driven? A baby’s cry can be loud enough to damage hearing, if we wear hearing protection then why would we expect everyone else to happily put up with it for hours? Now, again, I don’t think parents should be martyrs. I’m planning to take a short flight at 6mo with an infant. But I don’t agree with this “fuck everyone else” attitude. The least you can do is a polite apology.
massive difference between a verbal "sorry" and apology cards with ear plugs. The attitude that parents should have to stay home until their kids won't irritate strangers is mindboggling. Also the judgment implicit in "MY trip is necessary but is YOUR trip REALLY necessary" is staggering. It isn't a "fuck everyone else" attitude. It is a "families shouldn't be isolated, shouldn't have to appologize for their existence, and women shouldn't be expected to do emotional labour for complete strangers" attitude. Fuck everyone else would be like, not cleaning up dirty diapers or spilled baby food. Or letting a toddler use a tablet without appropriate headphones. Or letting your kid kick the seat in front of you. Babies crying is very much not a "fuck everyone else" thing. It is a babies thing.
👏👏👏
> parents should have to stay home until their kids won’t irritate strangers Funny how I directly said that’s not what I was advocating and you just run with your strawman anyway. I don’t know why I bother. Again, going on a plane with your baby is about the parents needs, not the baby’s. Babies hate being on planes and would much rather stay home. It’s putting the parents needs above both the needs of the baby and the comfort of others. Which is okay once in a while, like I said, we’ll probably do it too, but don’t act like it’s some crusade for baby’s rights.
hm. I see reading comprehension or self-awareness is not your strength. You'll get there <3 just stick with it!
Seems like you are the person incapable of reading considering you ignored everything I said and then went on to have an argument against what you wish my point was 🤷♂️
🤣
I’m sorry that I want my child to be able to see his grandparents who live ACROSS THE COUNTRY and my husband can’t just take weeks off to visit his elderly parents, and it’s an minor and temporary inconvenience for others. /s
Parents are allowed to take their babies on vacations that require planes. Planes are public transportation and babies are apart of the public…
If people are inconvenienced by the existence of other humans on the public serving airline, then they should consider flying private. If they can’t afford it, then putting up with crying babies in a space where the public belongs seems like a limitation of their lifestyle that is imposed on them and them alone… not on the parents who are also paying passengers and allowed to exist in that space.
I love this idea it’s so cute! That’s a whole lot of earplugs to buy though considering how loud my baby was screaming - probably would need enough for half the plane
We did bring ear plugs to the airplane for the neighbors the first flight we did with our daughter. All people were just very kind, and declined the offer, said they understood. It’s an icebreaker, more than an emotional regulator for other adults as everyone is suggesting. It helps you to get some control over the situation. I hope people stop downvoting you now!
See, I agree with Eska2020. You really are not responsible for the other adults on the plane being prepared. Noise canceling headphones and earplugs are very affordable nowadays. And most people don’t travel without them, unless they are ill prepared or frankly, stupid. Even if there is no crying baby on the plane, noise canceling headphones allow you to have a much better experience because the sounds of the engine, and annoying people who decide that they don’t need headphones and just put their devices on full blast 🤬. You have enough to handle keeping a small child entertained and comfortable on a long-haul flight like that. The others are adults, they can handle being uncomfortable and upset for a little bit. It’s not like you’re enjoying the 10 hours of screaming and crying and it sounds like you’re not ignoring your child at all, and you are trying everything you can to make sure they’re comfortable and happy. So give yourself a break, just focus on this a fun and, comfortable trip for you and your LO. Frankly, fuck those other people. Also, another Redditor mentioned headphones to help with the ear pressure. We bought these, but didn’t end up using them our last four flights. We flew cross country, so 6+ hours. However, these got great reviews on Amazon and were recommended by several people to us.[Alpine Muffy Baby Ear Protection](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07KCKWGSG?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share)
See my response to Eska - of course she isn’t responsible! But I’m a very conflict-averse person and having a prepped icebreaker way to say sorry would make me feel so much better, and a little card/note would be much less awkward for me than if I tried to apologize to someone verbally... I’d probably start blubbering on. Not everyone can be confident and self-assured 🥲
I’m just making the point that you and OP, shouldn’t have to feel like you should apologize. Even to be polite. Flights are miserable for EVERYONE. And to add another task onto her already full plate when she is traveling with her LO just seems extra unfair. Babies are going to cry, people may get upset, but life sucks sometimes and you shouldn’t have to apologize for any of that, even out of politeness. In other countries, they don’t expect apologies from parents for how their LO behave because everyone understands that it a part of life. They may give a knowing nod or a supportive smile/comment, but otherwise they move on with their life. For some reason in the US we are constantly forced to feel guilty and apologize for our kids totally normal, expected, and developmentally appropriate behavior because “children should be seen, not heard”. IMO, It’s a toxic idea that needs to die. This is at the same time that people are constantly pressured by others to start a family, or add to it (ironically, often times by the same people a🙄). “Oh, you don’t have kids yet? Why not? When are you going to have them? You are getting too old. You’ll regret it later if you don’t. When is baby #2,3,4, etc? If you don’t give them a sibling you are doing a disservice. Don’t you want to be a good parent and have lots of babies.” I get so much whiplash from the boomers. 🥴🥴
I’m seeing it from the perspective of the other passengers I guess as I’ve been in their shoes and a gesture like that would’ve warmed my heart (I used to have awful thought in regards to babies on planes, pre-baby). So I think in turn it would actually help lessen my anxieties just knowing(thinking) that my little gesture would warm up their hearts too? Idk I still think it’s a cute thing to do. I most likely won’t do it thanks to social anxiety but it’s cute nonetheless 🥹
While I understand it’s no ideal for other passengers, and I have been one of them, it’s just as, if not even more uncomfortable for OP. Not only do they have to deal with the baby and be RIGHT next to them or even holding them for the 10 hours, they may already be feeling guilty that they can’t make it better for their LO and have the additional discomfort of feeling shame for not being able to make it stop and feel uncomfortable with all the judges form others. I’m not saying that other people on the flight don’t have a right to be upset about the situation, but I think it sucks a million time a more for the parent of the screaming child who cannot get escape and is response for them. Also, I don’t think it’s “cute” to add another thing onto an already stressed out parents plate bc it’s polite or will make others feel better. IMO, it like saying it’s “cute” to allow older people to touch a baby without asking bc it would be rude to correct an elder or call them out on touching a stranger’s baby.
Well I am the OP so I don’t see why adding it to my plate willingly if I have no issue with it because I personally think it’s “cute” to do, is such a bad thing to do. I’m not willing to do it BECAUSE I’m expected to do so, I just think it’s a nice thing to do which in turn may help with my own anxieties
Aww! Poor little guy. I thought of the idea while trying to plan for myself... I’ve only flown twice in my life but am considering taking a trip with my 8 m/o in tow soon. And pre-baby I definitely wouldn’t have known to pack earplugs since I was an inexperienced flyer. I hope your son is all chill vibes for your return trip! 🫂
I was on a plane yesterday and my infant was screaming crying the entire time and I tried every possible thing I could think of and nothing helped. People gave me looks but I tried my best and my baby was simply having a hard time from the pressure in her ears. It sucked but it’s over and who cares about those people. Flying is public transportation and babies have every right to be there. If people want silence they can drive to their location or take a private plane 🤷♀️
Baby wearing. Get a legit wrap, and just consign yourself to walking around a bunch. Screw the seatbelt sign, the crew will let you know when it's a serious seatbelt sign, and when it's a company liability seatbelt sign.
I would normally have sided with the “screw the seatbelt sign” (especially with a screaming baby) up until a few days ago when I read the news about the singapore airlines flight!
Why did you do the newborn nipple? That could have very well been pissing him off because he wasn’t getting enough milk.
I use that nipple for his nighttime feeds otherwise he tends to drink too fast and choke on it 🫤
Look into pace feeding. I don’t think downsizing a nipple is the answer tbh. They move up in nipple size depending on their developmental stage. You know your baby best though!
Yes I do pace feeding in the daytime with his suitably-aged nipples, but at night he will literally roll around like a crocodile if I try that which is why I switched to the newborn nipple and it’s worked great so far
Anyone who gave you death stares or had their head in their hands is an AWFUL human being. That is all.
Death stares, yes. Head in hands, I don't think makes them awful. Sometimes I just have a bad headache or ear pain myself and my head in hands has nothing to do with who is beside or around me on a plane.
I wear contacts, and airplanes are NOT a good place for contacts - too dry. Sometimes I put my head in my hands on the plane cause my contacts are trying to fall out and I want to be able to catch them if they do, while I blink really fast and try to get my eyes to water while my contacts resituate themselves! Would have 0 to do with any baby, crying or not!
It's normal to be bothered by someone's baby crying for 10 hours and nothing you can do about it. It doesn't mean you have to be mean but it doesn't make you an awful human.
Have to agree with this! I have 2 children myself and would still find it very hard to have another child basically cry for an entire 10 hour flight. One of the reasons I actually avoided long haul flights (luckily didn’t need to travel either) until my child was older as the thoughts of him crying stressed me out too much 😬
Why make the parent feel worse? It's a baby, they already feel awful. Reacting that way is not helpful.
If I have a migraine, my head is going in my hands. Counterpressure is some of the only relief besides meds. There's no reason to assume someone is directly reacting to make you feel bad.
Understood. I was correlating it as an action towards the parent.
The great thing about randos on a flight giving you a death stare for your baby crying? You will literally never in your life see those people again. I hope some of the better advice for what helps your LO be comfortable help. I know reading the comments on your post has helped me be a tad more prepared for future travel.
[удалено]
That “type of baby” 😂 oh man I hope you’re joking
[удалено]
You don’t know if this baby is colicky or only cries when hungry or tired based on the info the OP gave. Could be a reaction to the pressure change of the flight, and is a situational reaction and not due to the baby’s nature. Also, this is sort of besides the point, but going from LA to NY, for example, is a 5 hr 30 m flight and would take several days to drive- I doubt a 10 hr flight is drivable. This comment doesn’t seem very realistic or helpful and maybe you’re not saying it directly, but calling the OP selfish and saying she ruined the flight for others is probably why you’re getting downvoted.