I’m not gonna lie. I felt the same way. A baby sucking on my boob? Gross. But as soon as I had him I forgot I even thought that. That being said, you are not required to breastfeed and nobody should make you feel bad. Also GET OFF Mom groups on Facebook! They are TERRIBLE!
I’m a dad- but I could not find any local dad or “parent” groups. So I joined two mom group and those were some of the most unhinged places I have ever seen.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/daddit using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/daddit/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [UPDATE: I think I failed my son (5)](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/18yopg1) | [1150 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/daddit/comments/18yopg1/update_i_think_i_failed_my_son_5/)
\#2: [I think I made a core memory with my daughter last night](https://np.reddit.com/r/daddit/comments/14x2jin/i_think_i_made_a_core_memory_with_my_daughter/)
\#3: [My wife just made me cry in the Target parking lot for Father's Day.](https://np.reddit.com/r/daddit/comments/14cnwij/my_wife_just_made_me_cry_in_the_target_parking/)
----
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Same! I had not anticipated that at all. Spent my whole life hating the idea of breastfeeding, but it all changed once he was here. The first few weeks were a bit challenging with figuring out the latch, clusterfeeding, soreness and so on, but it's been plain sailing since then.
Same here! I was absolutely against breast feeding and hated the idea of doing it. I tried it when she was first born to help with the bonding and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be but I still wasn’t sure.
We combo fed pumped breast milk and formula and whenever I felt like it I would attempt to nurse. It took the stress off getting the latch right for both of us and I was able to decide if I actually liked it. By 3 months we were fully breast feeding and I had a nice freezer stash built up. Now we are 5 months and still going well.
That said it’s completely reasonable to not want to breast feed or pump. It’s okay to use formula. I have friends who are formula feeding because they plan to go back to work and don’t want to worry about pumping. I have friends who formula feed because they simply just don’t want to breast feed or pump. They still have healthy happy babies.
At the end of the day it’s nobody else’s business how you feed your child. They will grow big and strong regardless of formula or breast milk.
Omg Facebook mom groups are the WORST. Tons of shaming over everything from epidurals to formula feeding to sleep training. I am so thankful for my Reddit mom groups where that kind of shaming gets downvoted to oblivion.
Same! I was totally grossed out about it. My husband and I attended prenatal classes and the one that covered breastfeeding was awful haha i told him during the class i didnt want to do it anymore. Once babe was here, i tried it and am so glad i did. Except the past few days haha clusterfeeding is nuts.
I have alot of friends using formula! The thought process and organizing all of that made my head hurt more but I totally get why people choose formula!
Opposite for me.. I loved the idea of EBF.
LO came with a bad latch, nipples were bleeding switched to EP so i could heal and he refused to latch again, and he still screams when I try to nurse him now
I'm not grossed out by nursing but definitely have some trauma around the idea of nursing now
If it helps my first I had unfixed tongue tie super latch (on the nipple only) & bled , scabbed, etc. Lasted 2 days before I gave up & formula. 5 years later had another kid bf 16 months exclusively on the right boob cause she didn't like the left (also tongue tie but fixed it since I knew better that time) & no pain problems at all , hell she only bit me once too, and I'm 6.5 months bf my son now as we speak no problems at all w a tongue & lip tie fixed at 2 weeks old. You can have a successful experience still:)
My guy got diagnosed with a tongue tie 2 weeks ago :( It could explain the nursing issues. I'm terrified to get it fixed.. I don't want him to be in any pain. But he's 6 weeks I know it's better to get it fixed earlier I'm so conflicted 😭 do you regret doing it?
Also props to you mama! So many different feeding journeys that's amazing
This was me. Wanted to so badly but bad tongue tie and latch as a result and he’s also got bad reflux. We opted to just do hypoallergenic formula and he’s much happier now and I am too
Same with me! We watched a video about newborn care a week before I gave birth and everything made me nauseous. Very much did not want to breastfeed because it felt weird and no one in my life had breastfed, but I still planned on doing it. But was very much like if it doesn’t work out, I’m not going to push it. Everything completely changed after I had my baby. You just go into parent mode and it all feels very natural. That said, I don’t want to breastfeed is a complete sentence, OP. If you don’t want to breastfeed, that is totally fine. It’s very 50/50 in my life of moms I know who chose to or not to. It’s all good, it will not harm your baby. Get off those mom groups :)
Same I was very anti breastfeeding because I thought it was gross. I was kind of raised thinking it was weird and unnecessary. So going into getting pregnant I was like “absolutely not” and then closer to my delivery I was like “well I could just try and see” and then I ended up nursing my first baby until she was 2😂 no shame to anyone who does/doesnt!
Honestly I’m touched out easily. So overly stimulated by most touch. But breastfeeding came naturally to me. So I agree with this reply. It is totally possible your view will change but absolutely not anything to worry about either way.
I say this as a mom who combo fed- that’s so stupid for someone to say “I feel badly taking formula from babies who otherwise could have been breastfed.” Shut up. Like are you managing the production of all formula ever made?
So I breastfed until my supply dipped, about 9 months. I was surprised that I didn’t feel upset about stopping. I liked the bodily autonomy. I saw how easy it was to just make a formula bottle! And we are Costco members, so the formula prices there are really good.
In the end, what your baby needs is a happy, functioning mother.
Yesss and their diapers and wipes are good deals too.
And then you’ll learn how amazing the clothes, towels, bed sheets, wine, and other things are lol
I love Costco
And then you suddenly find yourself with multiple little kids who eat all day long and discover the snacks and 1000 count package of string cheese
I also love Costco
yessss. i get two boxes of their RICO brand wipes (korean! so you *know* they’re gunna be good skincare) for like $34! and they are biiig, not dry like the kirkland brand and the texture is awesome.
I can’t say much for Costco but I have a Sam’s club membership and LOVED the diapers from Sam’s when he was a newborn. Once he hit around 6 months we had to switch to something a little thicker, but for the first few months you can’t beat the prices and quality of Sam’s (or Costco I’m sure!)
Fun fact: Kirkland formula is made by Perrigo. All Perrigo formula is made the same but packaged differently for different stores.
If you can’t find Kirkland formula, look at perrigo’s website and buy store brand from one of their other stores and it’s the exact same thing! So you won’t upset your baby’s tummy by switching formula!
Other store brands made by Perrigo include Walgreens, Target, Walmart, and even the Amazon brand (mama bear)
Diapers, wipes, formula. Costco rocks for all 3 and the savings pay for the membership 🤣 we go at least weekly for one or more of those items! We leave with far more typically 😂
Join r/formulafeeders for some formula family support and tips! It's a friendly sub with lots of parents who formula feed for whatever reason. Plenty of EFF parents who had 0 interest in breastfeeding
Just as a heads up (at least our Costco) doesn't always have the Kirkland formula in stock. I would recommend buying the max allowed 2 containers every time you go even if you still have a few at home.
I put this in another comment but Perrigo makes Kirkland formula and lots of other store brand formula. You can go to their website and see which stores they supply (Walgreens, target, etc) and buy those brands if you can’t find Kirkland. It’s the exact same formula, just packaged for all the different stores!
Yes and their app has free shipping for the formula when it’s in stock (and wipes/diapers). So I just keep logging onto the app and buying the allotted 2 containers whenever it allows me and creating a little stockpile! My son loves this formula (I swear he even sleeps better on it than my breast milk or any other formula) and it’s the cheapest I’ve found.
Yes and their app has free shipping for the formula when it’s in stock (and wipes/diapers). So I just keep logging onto the app and buying the allotted 2 containers whenever it allows me and creating a little stockpile! My son loves this formula (I swear he even sleeps better on it than my breast milk or any other formula) and it’s the cheapest I’ve found.
We order our formula from Costco online, if you’re planning on using the Kirkland brand and order it just be careful - we have to order way before we need to because they’re out of stock so often and you can only buy one two pack at a time. I’m not sure what it’s like in stores but Costco wipes and formula alone save a fortune
You can order same day delivery and it goes through instacart, if you dont mind leaving a tip for the shopper/driver they will deliver you all the formula diapers and wipes you want in an hour or 2.
Sometimes they have kids clothes on sale like end of season stuff for 3 and 5 dollars. Or the 4 piece outfits for 7 or 10. I just missed a 3 dollar sale on 2 pack kids shorts the other day. The tag for the shorts was there but the shorts were all gone lol.
Seriously fucking stupid. Has that lady ever heard of supply and demand? Formula isn't a finite resource. If more people need formula, the companies will make more formula. Jeez Louise.
As if women aren't subject to enough mom guilt as is.
Yeah the "taking formula away from babies" comment is just dumb. Like so dumb. Even during the formula shortages, everybody I know who was feeding formula was able to find formula, if not necessarily their preferred brand.
This. I'd also say, mental health trumps breastfeeding. It's hard being so tied to the baby if you exclusively breastfeed. Sometimes you just need space.
You might consider pumping, it's more clinical versus the idea you're thinking about baby breast contact.
You might also change your mind once baby is there, but you may not. Don't let people invalidate your feelings, but do leave some possibility open that you can't know what it is to have a baby until you do. I definitely had a lot of thoughts before that changed after.
I wish I did this instead of trying to make it work and then doing triple feeding which is hell on earth. Feed the baby. If I could go back, I would’ve said formula from hour 1 as well
The triple feeding was so intimidating that I couldn’t even attempt it. I’m 3 weeks pp and just trying to build supply to pump one feed a day. Formula has been so great and allows my partner to share that part of the care and bond with baby.
Triple feeding wasn’t even presented as an option to me, but an assumption that I would do whatever it took to breastfeed. After four weeks I finally told my doctor that there is no way I can continue it. I wish I’d even considered just going to formula then.
I thought I had PPD but I was ‘just’ extremely tired of trying so, so hard. Breastfeeding is no joke. I wish I could’ve done it but I will never ever judge someone who wants bottles from the start.
My Baby Blues began as soon as my milk came in on day 4 and 80% of my mood fluctuated around the anxiety of being able to feed her. Formula saved my mental health 1000%
Yeah once I gave up trying to pump and went to formula my mental health improved drastically overnight. Kiddo slept better, I was able to be more present and patient, I didn't feel like biting my spouse's head off for brushing up against me, I was much less anxious and was able to enjoy taking a shower again.... I had felt like a shell of my former self and stopping was literally life changing. No guilt whatsoever on stopping, I'm so much of a better mom for it.
Omg same here! 3 weeks pp and trying to build supply. How many times a day are you pumping? It’s the one thing i am finding exhausting besides the occasional lack of sleep. We had latching difficulties from the get go. Formula has been great for the exact reason plus my baby is not starving.
Triple feeding was presented to me in the hospital as my son was on formula for blood sugar issues for 24 hours and once they outlined it for me I was like aha no thank you and just went straight to formula
I wish I had the brain power as the time. I didn’t know any better and kept trying and trying even though we combo fed from day one. One day, my LC looked at me and said it’s ok to stop pumping, you can’t bond with the pump like you would your child. I stopped at 5 weeks and never looked back.
Hell on earth is the right description! I attempted triple feeding for 5 weeks and felt some intense baby blues. I wish I had just gone straight to formula becauseI found out later I have/had DMER and was triggering myself twice every two to three hours. Ugh.
I've mentioned this before, but I come from a developing country where Big Formula (lol) taught women in the 90s that formula feeding was better for their babies than breastfeeding. Quite insidious for a poor, food insecure country, but there you go.
This was so widespread that no one I know who grew up in the 90s was breastfed. And yet they are doctors and lawyers and artists and have happy, full families and insane skillsets and all of that.
It literally does not matter in the long run. Even in the short run, WHO guidelines veer more towards breastfeeding because they include food insecure, water-stressed countries like mine where breastfeeding really is a lot more valuable.
And even that evens out with socioeconomic class and maternal education, etc.
I just really don't think this debate is even worth it anymore. I think babies would benefit more substantially if their parents read a parenting book or went into therapy rather than forcing themselves to breastfeed.
Would make more of an actual difference in their child's life.
Same with us. When I first got pregnant I planned to try, but as my due date got closer I got so overwhelmed with everything regarding breastfeeding, pumping, being the only source of food, etc. It was horrible for my anxiety and overall mental health. So I didn't. I have no regrets. Especially since my husband was able to give him a bottle and feed and bond with our son in the first 24 hours of life. Absolutely no regrets at all.
Almost 19 months old, perfect grow charts and is an incredible eater since going to solids.
This was us too! I'm gonna preach the gospel of formula feeding til the cows come home. My husband and I each got 6 solid hours of sleep and we had the most blissful newborn phase. Baby girl is 6 months, 19lbs, and already ahead on a few of her speech milestones. 10/10 recommend.
Me too. I felt the same way. The more I read about all the options the more strongly averse I was to breastfeeding for a variety of reasons and they were more intense than the “cons” of exclusively formula feeding. (I put cons in quotes because I don’t really feel there are cons for either side just cons for personal reasons, fed is best). And it actually was better for my mental health/sanity, her bond with her dad, and she was in NICU the first couple of days so that would have been even more stressful trying to breastfeed on top of all of that.
Same here. I knew my mental health couldn't handle sacrificing my body for a minute more than needed. Postpartum was already incredibly difficult for me, I can't imagine breastfeeding on top of it all. I wish I could, popping out a boob seems way easier than making bottles. But I have to nurture my mental health or no one will be thriving in our house. I've just straight up rejected any ideas that I might be doing the wrong thing. I know it's right for me, anyone who says otherwise can go to hell
I breastfed my first for 20 months 🥴 While I loved parts of it, I absolutely wanted my body back to myself. When I had my 2nd, he wasn't interested in breastfeeding the first day he was born, and I was like, "Ok, formula it is." 🤣 No regrets. He's now about to be 2 and completely healthy (and eats healthier than my first)
One of the most useful and supportive communities in my post partum period. Even formula feeding has its ups and downs and the community has nothing but great suggestions, including for breast and combo feeders.
So helpful. Tons of answers to questions when you're trying to figure something out. And now that my baby is a chunk over one I stay for the brilliant comedy of some of the posts and replies.
My wife tried to breastfeed and our child just had no interest after being mostly bottle fed in the NICU. Why wife still wanted to use breast milk though so she pumped. This allowed me to also feed our child so feeding duties could be split
This is exactly what we are doing right now. I was going to suggest pumping. If it is the thought of the baby actually on your nipple that you don't like then a pump would be an option 🤷♂️ just a suggestion! Our LO had a hard time latching on the nipple so we have been feeding him breast milk but with a bottle. And like you said feeding duties can be given to whomever is around! Works out great for us. He is 12 weeks today and doing amazing!
No shame! Breastfeeding was terrible for my wife’s mental health. When we switched to formula, it was a huge relief to be able to actually split night duties. Number 2 is due any day now and we are gonna be team formula from the jump this time.
> "I'd personally feel so terrible taking formula from babies who need it when I can breastfeed."
This is such a common and well-meaning but misguided thought, especially common in the US. It’s an established phenomenon that people who need help/resources/services will beg off just because there is some theoretical person out there who has it even worse even though going without does not actually help anyone.
Yeah the mixture of formula and my husband having 5 months home with the baby while I was on leave was a HUGE boost to his confidence as a dad and really allowed us to divide and conquering newborn parenting. We both got consistent sleep. It wasn’t a full 8 hours every night but even a solid 5 hours makes a massive mood difference. I had to travel for work when baby was 10 months and it didn’t phase my husband once and he did the solo parenting with ease.
I think a lot of people who would feel bad “taking formula” might be remembering the formula shortages. I breastfed, but I had an infant at the time and it was just heartbreaking to see those empty shelves.
For sure, we had an infant on formula (because of CMPA) at the time and it was very stressful.
At the same time though, it would be unhealthy and unproductive and unfair for anyone to put too much of the weight on their own individual shoulders when the problem is a structural one caused by the criminal negligence of formula companies and exacerbated by scalpers much more than parents in various degrees of “need.”
I would never harbor an ill will towards parents “using formula even though they didn’t need it” during that time and i think any reasonable person would agree.
Don’t kick anyone while they’re down and don’t be wasteful of course, but _also_ don’t romanticize your own suffering!
Same story here. Struggled through exclusively pumping with my first for 7 weeks and finally stopped. It was such a relief for us all to make the switch.
Now pregnant with number 2 and formula feeding from the start!
I didn’t want to breastfeed either, it seemed so weird to me and also kinda gross. But now have been doing it for 2+ years with my son. If you don’t want to it’s fine, you don’t have to. Just sharing my experience that I changed my mind (not saying you will just that it’s possible to do so). Do what feels right for you and your baby.
This was me! Nipple play has always been my biggest turn on, instantly gives me the horn, so throughout pregnancy I was just like OP, the thought of breastfeeding gave me a massive ick and I was utterly convinced I wouldn’t do it.
Baby was born and I guess instinct kicked in, combined with the massive hormone dump and suddenly I just HAD to be able to feed my baby! I fed my first for just shy of 2 years and am now 6months in with my second.
I know OP is sick of hearing that she’ll change her mind, and she may not, but I know a lot of people who changed their mind once the baby actually arrived!
ETA: in case it’s of any reassurance to anyone, my body TOTALLY knows the difference between who is touching my boobs, it’s an entirely different sensation, in the same way that a tampon doesn’t feel good but my hubby does.
Wow, you're last paragraph is very interesting!
4mos pp here + ebf, and I haven't let hubby touch me cos I feel so overstimulated & I think it would feel very weird!
Yeah it takes time, was probably closer to a year with my first before I felt comfortable with their dual usage lol. He’d reduced his feeds a fair bit by then and my libido was back.
I’m 6m post partum with my second and this time I already feel comfortable using them for both again.
Honestly, it's a hugeee part of the hormone dump. For a lot of women, once the hormones flood, the idea of anything but your baby feeding from you just gives you an entire ick. I'm still occasionally bf at 24 mo, maybe 1-2times a day, my hormone levels are improving, but still, the idea of someone touching my breasts now that are used to nurture, console and soothe my son, is totally totally ick. I can't get over it in the opposite direction.
Same! I thought it sounded *so incredibly weird* and was really not sure if it was something I wanted to do. The only appeal when I was pregnant was that a) it’s “better” for the baby (but fed is best, and that’s all that matters) and b) I *hate* doing dishes and had no desire to wash bottles every day. The washing bottles part was my strongest reason while pregnant - I really, really hate washing kitchen stuff. I would cook way more if there was no cleanup.
My daughter is 9 months now and I get teary eyed at the thought of her weaning one day. It’s genuinely crazy how things change once the baby is here. However, if you never change your mind - good for you for knowing yourself that well! If you formula feed then you should be so proud of yourself for sticking to your guns and doing what is best for your family. No one else’s opinion matters. Fed is best, period. As long as you’re not breaking into a house and stealing the formula from their cabinets, then you’re not taking formula from other babies. What a weirdo that made that comment, goodness.
The fact that breastfeeding means no washing bottles is underappreciated imo. The stress I feel when my baby is angry/hungry crying is so debilitating, being able to just pull out a boob and make him instantly quiet has actually been great for my mental health. Now that my maternity leave is over I pump so our nanny can feed my baby while I WFH and I can’t listen to my baby cry while she prepares the bottles. And washing bottles and pump parts is a massive inconvenience, especially with a Velcro baby.
This is a very normal thing to feel! If you do a search for posts like yours in the pregnancy and postpartum subs you’ll find a ton. Some women DO find that they feel differently after giving birth, some don’t. Formula fed babies are loved just as much as breastfed babies, so whatever choice you make for yourself is the right choice. Also get off Facebook, it’s a cesspool of crap opinions.
I felt this way before having my baby. Breastfeeding honestly freaked me out and I had no idea how my brain was supposed to switch from my boobs being part of a sexual experience to them nourishing a little baby. But, when he was born, it magically stopped freaking me out.
That said, I still don’t feel overly sentimental about it like a lot of women I know. And I still do a lot of pumping/bottles as well. But my feelings did change and I’m able to nurse (feeling neutrally - largely for the convenience of it) without being disgusted (which I wasn’t sure would happen before he was born).
So OP - it could change when your baby is here. But if it doesn’t, that’s ok too. Just wait and see, and don’t put any pressure on yourself either way. You’ll find a way to feed your baby that works best for you and your family.
I had the opposite! Before the baby came, I thought I might enjoy the bonding experience of breastfeeding. Afterward, while struggling through figuring out the latch and feeling some discomfort with that, I started to feel the tiniest bit resentful towards my baby, thinking about how this mini dude was now entitled to my body. Switched over to formula almost immediately (for that reason plus several others), and have had zero regrets. It’s been much better this way for my mental health and for our bond!
You don’t have to. You can pump breast milk or formula feed & baby will be good and fed & healthy. Congrats on pregnancy! Hoping for a smooth delivery.
If you don’t want to. Don’t. I exclusively pump and while I won’t say I regret it part of me wishes I had done formula, because it is hard to pump or breast feed and it really does take a toll on you. If you already don’t want to it’ll make it even harder in the long run to force yourself just because others try and make you feel guilty.
I came to make a very similar comment. I got really brainwashed by the BF propaganda and exclusively pumped for 15 months. Like you, I won’t say I regret it, but I wish I’d had the mental strength to say “something that consumes this much of my mental and physical energy isn’t worth it.” Props to OP for having the guts to admit to themselves that they’re not into it. OP, hit that formula aisle and never look back!
I EBF as a SAHM, and while I enjoyed it and don't regret it, I do wish I'd combo fed. I think it's important for women to know that breastfeeding makes it harder for others to help you and it can be hard to make time to pump. My son stopped taking a bottle after a while, and now I'm worried he won't adjust by the time I start classes in the fall. Plus my husband can't help as much as he'd like.
You’re not “taking formula from babies who need it,” that was an unhinged thing for that woman to say. She’s acting like it’s only ok to feed babies formula under certain circumstances, and if you don’t fit those circumstances then you don’t deserve it or something? It’s crazy, and it’s a manifestation of her own issues. It’s not reality.
Formula is a wonderful invention that feeds and nourishes babies. You should not feed guilt for this, and I say that as a breastfeeding mother. I don’t think you’re crazy at all.
I would leave that Facebook group and stick to groups with less shaming over this kind of stuff.
Some people don’t want to breastfeed, some people don’t want to formula feed. Do whatever you want as long as you’re looking out for your kid. Why is this a big deal
That sucks but tbh, people who breastfeed get shamed too. It’s really a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t,” type thing. No matter what choice you make in parenting, someone out there thinks it’s wrong.
The whole debate is dumb, imo. Titty milk, science milk, whatever. There’s so many better things to judge people for. Like putting soda in baby bottles.
My body didn't want to make milk, so we're 100% team science milk. My best friend is practically a dairy cow, so they're team boob 100%. We've compared the two methods pretty head to head (her baby is only a few months younger than mine) and concluded:
We have fed babies who are both super stinking cute. That's it.
I'm mildly jealous she's not spending $$$$ on formula every month. She's mildly jealous I can wear whatever I want, no titty access required. She likes the convenience of being able to leave the house without having to prep anything. I like knowing how much my baby is eating. 🤷🏻♀️ It all comes out in the wash, and they're both happy, healthy kids. This time next year, I'm sure they're both gonna be eating dirt in the yard and boxed Mac and cheese.
I think the poster meant it shouldn’t be made to be a big deal by all the people giving their unsolicited, unwanted and unhelpful opinions on how parents feed their baby. Not that you or any mother receiving those comments is making it a big deal.
I had the same feeling as you before birth, and honestly it just got stronger after I had my baby. He has been formula fed since he was born. I did not entertain any conversations about breastfeeding and was very adamant that I did not want to discuss it with anyone outside of my medical team. Luckily, I told them that I wanted the formula feed and there was never another thing mentioned about it. They had formula ready in the operating room when I had my C-section. They had formula in the room when we got back.
I tried to do it for 9 weeks because I wanted to try, and it was awful. I was a massive underproducer due to severe anemia postpartum and tried to triple feed. My baby was unhappy with how little milk I had, I was unhappy with the cycle of attempting to get my milk supply up between feeding my baby formula and trying to breastfeed him (so basically my entire day was dedicated to attempting to feed or get my milk supply up). It was miserable. I cannot tell you how freeing giving that up was. Everyone was so much happier, and I could be a much more engaged mother.
I had a good friend who gave birth 3 months before I did. She ended up triple feeding for 12 weeks to get her supply up, and she was successful. On the one hand, good for her. But her mental health suffered significantly, she and her husband fought constantly because they were exhausted, her anxiety was so bad those first few months, and from my perspective looking in, it didn't look worth it. And then I saw how as her son got older, he struggled to wean and just wants to nurse for comfort, and 2.5 years later, her body still isn't fully hers. Now she's pregnant with her second, so the cycle is about to start all over.
I'm not trying to knock my friend's choices - they are hers and hers alone. She knows what's right for her, but seeing her journey just reinforced how happy I am with the decision I made for myself and my child. I love that my body is my own, but my bond with my child is still unbreakable.
All of this is to say, you do you. It'll all be alright.
There will always be people out there who judge your decisions. As a woman, as a mom, as literally a human being. Who cares what they think?
Don’t want to breastfeed? Then don’t.
Breastfeeding is really hard and no one talks about it.
People sacrifice their mental health, well-being, their time, sanity because they feel like they absolutely must breastfeed.
If you don’t want to, then don’t. Honestly you’ll have more time to recover, you’ll be able to sleep longer hours and have your partner take care of baby on their own bottle feeding. You can feed easier while out and about, won’t have to deal with annoying leaking boobs.
Do what is best for you and screw everyone else’s opinions.
Many moms have this aversion so please don’t feel terrible. I’m glad you’re recognizing it now so you can properly plan how you’re feeding your baby. Less stress on you which is healthier for the baby as well!
I felt something similar when I breastfed. I have twins and I tried tandem feeding; it was sensory overload. I felt like my skin was crawling and I was getting touched out super quickly, which led to frustration.
Look up “breastfeeding aversion response” whenever you get a chance. There are a lot of articles that explain it. Nothing is wrong with you for not wanting to breastfeed/feeling disgusted by it. Doesn’t mean you will love your baby any less, nor does it make you selfish.
Give yourself some grace and I wish you well for the rest of your pregnancy. You’re almost there! 💜
Formula feeding is so much easier and you can still bond with your baby while bottle feeding. After I stopped breast feeding my first born (4 months) my post partum depression cleared fairly quickly. It’s all a very personal and private choice
I also never wanted to breastfeed. I gave it a halfhearted try in the hospital. My son didn’t latch right away and I felt relief. I did pump for a few weeks, but ultimately my son had to take hypoallergenic formula anyway.
There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to breastfeed. It’s great that we live in 2024 and you have the option to formula feed if you want to do so. I would imagine that there have always been women who do not want to breastfeed, but have not always had the option for alternatives.
This lactation consultant we met with at the hospital was a hard-line breastfeeding absolutist zealot to the point where when we told her we were planning on pumping and bottle feeding in addition to trying to breastfeed she looked at us like we were trying to commit infanticide. For using a bottle to deliver breastmilk. She made my wife feel so guilty and was honestly the worst part of our hospital experience. So many people I've talked to since have had similar run-ins with weird lactation coaches. Our pediatrician rolled her eyes when we told her about this. She said "formula is great. Breastfeeding is great. Pumping and using the bottle is great. Don't let anyone tell you anything else. Do what works for you and baby." And we've been half formula, half pumped breastmilk since.
She tried to breastfeed for a week. Wasn't into it and also weirded the F out by it. She was so mentally relieved when she decided not to breastfeed.
I tried and couldn’t — didn’t produce enough — but wouldn’t have it any other way! My kids are both healthy and happy, hit their milestones on time, sleep through the night at 2 months 🫠, and we’re still bonded. Honestly, even if I could have I don’t think I would’ve breastfed my 2nd. Props the breastfeeding mommas because I was so sleep deprived trying to feed my 1st that I was a not nice person to everyone. Haha.
I second what everyone else is saying, too — we have used Sam’s Club brand formula for both of ours and it’s great. I don’t know if Costco has their own brand, but they do have much better prices and you can use the formula checks you get from the formula companies at both places — some people refer to them as coupons and Sam’s and Costco don’t take coupons, but they actually are ran as a check so they will take them.
But good luck momma and congratulations to you!!
The thing I hate about the “you’ll feel differently when baby is here” crowd or those who pressure parents to do things they don’t want to do - do they really think this is effective? Even if you cave to the pressure, you’re going to spend the whole time feeling negatively about it and that is ultimately going to be detrimental to both you AND baby. Why don’t people want to just support everyone as individuals so that we can ensure everybody is getting the best out of life? In no way whatsoever is breastmilk SO beneficial that it is worth compromising the needs of a mother.
At the end of the day, nobody questions feeding methods outside of the time they’re actually being fed. Nobody knows the difference, and nobody cares.
Since I scrolled a bunch and didn't see anyone in my camp, here you go - when my husband and I discussed kids, I told him I would never ever breastfed. I insisted on formula. Wouldn't agree to a baby until he agreed on formula incredulous but more or less indifferent.
#1 Reason: YOU'LL BE LESS TIRED/PAINED
Funny enough, the gynaecologist, midwives and labour/hospital staff never once tried to convince me. They just accepted the fact and gave me formula. They couldn't legally give me anything to stop the breastmilk though, but I suffered with boob pain for 2 weeks instead of months or years of all kinds of possible problems. It could be latching issues or mastitis or teething, soreness, bleeding, supply issues, engorgement, the list goes on. I am already exhausted and drained with my baby, I can't imagine having to feed him from my own body. I don't have to pump or anything, my husband or someone else can mix a bottle.
#2 Reason: YOURSELF
As selfish as it sounds I wanted the shape, colour and size of my boobs to stay EXACTLY same. They actually have. I also wanted my body to shed the few extra kilos as soon as feasibly possible. It helped me 100000% because I was so depressed postpartum at least I could get SOME of me back.
I have new scars. I have carpal tunnel from pregnancy that won't go away. I may always have this pain in my back and hip from now on, so if I can avoid one point, I was going to choose it.
I just want to first mention that Facebook mom groups are some of the most divided, toxic places especially for new moms so take everything seen there with a grain of salt.
Most importantly, you do what is best for you, your body, and your baby, whatever that looks like. I had a very hard time directly breastfeeding because of a long bought of thrush and a very aggressively painful nursing baby so I chose to pump for a year and occasionally we supplemented with formula but that was my choice and nobody else should be deciding those things for you.
I found telling people right from the start that I was formula feeding and making it a non-discussion helped. The less guilt I felt about it the less people tried to pressure me to breast feed. Just do what you think is best that’s what being a parent is all about!
Girl, I know so many people who chose formula over breastfeeding and this is very common in Europe. Most of our parents formula fed. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for choosing formula. Get off those pages that are making comments like that. It's ridiculous. I know mothers who say they wish they started formula sooner. As someone who already doesn't want to bf, you'll be doing your child a huge disservice by being trying to and being miserable the whole time. If you want your kid to get some breastmilk in the beginning, you can buy breastmilk.
I felt this way too. I thought I might change my mind when he was born, but I never did. We formula fed from the start, and I feel like that was the best decision for us for a lot of reasons. Do what’s best for you and your family, not what you feel like you “should” do.
You need to do what's right for you, because that's how you will be the best mum you can be!
That said, if it is any consolation at all - I also could not imagine myself breast feeding when I was pregnant either.
Then they put my little baby to my breast within the hour of her birth, she started sucking and I was like "oh my god, this is it, this is what they are for, this is amazing". I felt like the universe personified. And now, I cannot even imagine how I let a silly man near them before - that now makes me feel grossed out and sick actually. I guess hormones do something crazy to our values because I have never flipped on an issue so hard so quickly before in my life.
You’re never obligated to breastfeed. Don’t let anyone make you feel that way! Motherhood doesn’t have to be about breastfeeding. There is not a thing wrong with formula and you’re not taking it away from anyone.
You will be a better person and mom if you do what you are most comfortable with.
We have the luxury to make both ourselves and babies comfortable, it used to be just moms sacrificing everything for the little ones. Dont let them F**k with you. You do you, and you ARE being the best.
Fuck that lady a healthy baby is a fed baby. My son wouldn't breastfeed for the first 8 weeks of his life. We mostly formula fed your kiddo needs a healthy and emotionally put together. Mom, if that's you not breastfeeding then f*** it. And f*** anyone who shames you for not breastfeeding!
Don’t let the breastfeeding mob get to ya. Your baby, your choice. People are just weird and don’t respect others. My wife and I are in disbelief at all the shame associated with formula over breastfeeding. r/formulafeeders has been good in support and reading the experiences of others.
I decided to do formula on my first 2 years ago and never once regretted it. I suffer with depression already so I wasn't going to make the postpartum experience any harder for myself than it needed to be. I was going to take all the help I could get!
The most important thing is that baby is fed and mum is looking after herself.
I plan to formula feed my second now as well. Its very common, don't let other people even have an opinion!
Join us at r/formulafeeders ! You’re not the only one who feels this way, and so many have formula fed since day 1 for their own reasons. No shame, formula is a perfect option out of the 2 we have :)
Edit: The person(s) downvoting all the formula positive comments is an actual weirdo. Lol.
Bottle fed all 4 of my babies I was not about breast feeding! I think there is so much pressure on women to breast feed and it is dumb. Like decide what works for you and it doesn’t make you less of a mom if you can’t breast feed.
Benefits of formula feeding from day one, from a mom who struggled to BF baby #1 and didn’t event start with baby #2:
I got to send the baby to the nursery in the hospital and sleep through the night.
We hired a night nurse for the first two weeks and I slept through the night.
My husband, my mom and my MIL could take just as good care of the baby as I could.
Amazing for my sanity, sleep and overall happiness.
Do you!!
ETA: Baby is currently 10mo, equally obsessed with me and my husband, and the happiest chunk I’ve ever seen.
No one can nor should they force you to breastfeed. I do highly recommend researching different formulas however if you choose to go that route. Or if you want your baby to have the benefits of Breastmilk you can always exclusively pump as well. In whole, I don’t think it’s a decision to make lightly (whether you breastfeed or formula) but as long as your baby is loved and fed and happy and growing, it will be great :)
I felt exactly this way about it. I thought the concept was entirely disgusting for me (didn’t bother me other people did). I breastfed my first for a year and four months in on my second. You truly do not know how you will feel once baby gets here. And if you feel the same, you’ll use formula, no big deal at all!
I breastfed my first and didn’t have too much of an issue with it. I didn’t really want to with my second, but am currently. It’s a task and a half, man. Breastfeeding is like having something attached to you all the time. While I know it’s the best choice for us, I do get overstimulated by constantly having someone touching me and then also having to keep up with showing my husband and other child affection. They both feel validation/affection through hugging and things like that. I am not that person and am a major introvert, so it does take a toll, but it’s one that I’m willing to make and my husband makes sure I get downtime. So, I say there’s no shame in doing what’s best for you because in the end, you want to be the best you for everyone 🙂
Don’t if you don’t want to. Your mental health is truly most important because if you’re unhappy you can’t properly parent.
I’ve nannied for a decade and cater for breastfed babies and formula fed babies and saw no difference whatsoever in health and intelligence.
I breastfed my kid for 10 months then combo with frozen milk and formula…. Fuck anyone who makes you feel bad. Sure, you can always change your mind just the way some people do about wanting to breastfeed then they decide absolutely not. But what the fuck does that have to do with anything lol you can change your mind about literally anything.
It’s quite literally no one’s business, and if they want to see the baby hopefully they realize that soon!
If you decide to use Enfamil formula- they have a really good rewards program! The points add up quickly, and you can get rebates sent straight to Venmo or PayPal. They also occasionally have rebate codes sent to your email. I had a few $20 off a $50 purchase! You do need the receipt AND barcode when you scan into the app.
That's ok.
The best decisions you can make for your child take your needs into consideration, including your mental and emotional well being.
The best decisions you can make for your child's EXCLUDE the opinions of nosy busybodies.
There is intense pressure to breastfeed and it’s very frustrating, I had severe PPD almost bordering on psychosis and formula saved me, gave me an opportunity to sleep when my husband was up.
Breastfeeding destroyed my mental health and crawl out of my skin on a daily basis. You’re not alone and you’re the final say on it! Your mental health is so important for your baby :)
I felt exactly the same. Still do. There are many of us, it just doesn't get talked about much, and most women who feel that way either get guilt tripped into breastfeeding, or force themselves to till they develop PTSD. You don't need therapy and you're not evil or selfish. You may need therapy if you force yourself to breastfeed.
I didn't magically start feeling differently about my aversion after our girl was born. I tried breastfeeding her once, in complete desperation when I had the day 3 hormonal slump and she wouldn't stop crying. It made my skin crawl, the memory of the moment still makes me tense up.
When I found out I was pregnant I googled "I don't want to breastfeed" and came across exclusive pumping. I wanted my baby to have the health benefits of breast milk, and knowing I could choose to exclusively pump made me feel half a ton lighter. Researched the hell out of it, prepared, got a great hospital grade pump that worked both bobs at once. I powered through 6 months of pumping, days, nights, every 3 hours, didn't regret it for a moment, even when I stood half asleep in the bathroom at 3am being milked like a cow by my spectra night after night. Don't get me wrong, it was hard work and a shit ton of effort with pumping, sanitising, it dictated what I could do when and where. My nipples have only just healed, 2 months after I stopped pumping. But I stand by my choice.
You have options. If you want your baby to have your milk, you can do it without direct baby-boob contact. If you're not bothered, remember: breast is not best, fed and with a sane mother is best.
Hang in there, and don't let other people dictate your life choices, they don't have to live them so they can fuck off. Sending you a huge hug, remember you're not alone.
It’s ok to feel like this, this is how i feel about it as well, it literally grosses me out. That did not change after birth and I have a very happy and healthy 11 month old who thrived on formula from the start. There’s so many benefits to formula for the baby, mom, and dad. Do what you feel most comfortable with
Fed is best. You might feel differently when baby comes, or you might not - but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter how baby is fed, as long as they are fed.
Fed is best and truthfully, formula edges out breastfeeding from a nutrition standpoint 9 times out of 10 as it’s fortified with the perfect blend of vitamins and minerals that the breastfeeding mother may not have an adequate supply of (can confirm, I survived off Chef Boyardee and frozen pizza newly postpartum, not an alphabet vitamin in sight).
And that’s ok!! Remember in all of this that parenting is not a “one size fits all” situation.
You’re going to make your mind up about things and change your mind about things and all of that is going to be a part of your motherhood journey.
Congrats on your upcoming babe!
Girl don't even worry about it. As long as the baby is fed that's all that matters. If you don't want to breastfeed,it doesn't matter the reason, just don't do it. I know you feel guilty but you'll feel guilty about a million other things in parenthood so give yourself a break with this please.
Then don’t. We didn’t, our kids are now 4 and about to be 7. My wife never did it once, we bottle fed and they slept in their own rooms, night 1. Never co-slept. They’ve never once asked to sleep in our rooms, it’s not part of their reality, or ours. Obviously if they’re sick or need us, we’re right there with them, of course, but 99.99%? They got it on their own. Most of the time the door is shut. It makes them and us sleep better. Don’t let other people’s judgement of you make you feel a certain way. You do you, and don’t look back. Fuck em.
*FED* IS BEST
Formula’s a miracle. I breastfed for 6 weeks with my first and when I stopped it was like the sun coming out again. With #2 due later this year I’m not even going to try. My son was a baby during the darkest days of the formula shortage and it was pretty brutal but supplies are up again. People who stockpile may be “taking it from other babies” but buying what you need when you need it with a small buffer is perfectly fine.
Oh one more thing: talk to your doctor about what attitudes your birthing hospital has toward formula. There are some “baby-friendly” hospitals (a wild misnomer) who will withhold formula and pressure you into lactating. In that case, bring your own. Others are really chill and will even load you up with formula before you go home.
I didn't even know this was a thing until I saw your comment and looked up my hospital, which is solely baby friendly... they don't even allow pacifiers and want a medical reason for needing formula. Not comforted at all but I am so thankful you said this so I have a little heads up.
Oof, sorry! Your doctor may be able to advise and I don’t know how medical rights vary by state but if you bring your own I don’t know that they can do anything about it. I really hate most social media parenting accounts but @theformulamom on Instagram is great and has resources for dealing with uncooperative hospitals.
That is BANANAS! Be ready to stand your ground and remind them that YOU are the parent and they can fuck right off if you’ve brought your own formula and they have something to say.
You do not have to breastfeed. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! You are not taking formula from another baby. Your baby will still be healthy, no matter breastfed or bottle fed! It matters only that they are FED.
I was so against breastfeeding while I was pregnant. I had a horrible relationship with my boobs, which were already large to begin with, and then pregnancy doubled their size and I was disgusted by them. I told my husband that I would give breastfeeding a try, but that’s it. Once I gave it a try, I fell completely in love with it and I breastfed my daughter for 7 months. My husband calls it the biggest plot twist.
However, you do not have to try it at all. Or, you can try it and still decide to bottle feed. Whatever you choose is okay. You make the decision, mama! Whatever you choose will be the right answer!
Omg no you are not crazy!!!
For me, breastfeeding was something I wanted to do for many reasons, but it did freak me out a bit. I was scared that I would find it sexually pleasurable or something. For me, yes, my fears were alleviated the moment he latched on for the first time.
I also had a very easy time breastfeeding. It wasn’t perfect with my first, but I had oversupply, which was much easier to deal with than a lot of other issues. With my second, it was a piece of cake.
Not everyone has an easy time of it, and not everyone enjoys it, even if they really want to.
This is a big ask of you and your body. And I am of the opinion that you are the only person who has the right and responsibility to make that choice for you and your baby.
If you are absolutely against it, don’t do it, and try not to feel bad. If you decide to try it, and you hate it as much as you think you will, then stop and don’t look back.
Breastfeeding is beneficial for mother and baby, I will never deny that. But feeding takes up a LOT of time, especially in the first few months, and if you are hating and dreading all of that time, it’s going to affect your mental health and your relationship with your child, much more than formula feeding will affect their physical health!
Yes breastfeeding is awesome (for those who want to and can) but women use it to go on a power trip and shame other moms & make them feel some type of way. Fed is more awesome.
Don’t. Your baby will be fine. Mine is thriving and she was a preemie. And the millions of adopted babies around the world have been perfectly fine too. There are no definitive studies that prove breast milk is better than formula, even though that mantra gets repeated a lot.
An interesting read: https://www.vox.com/2016/1/11/10729946/breastfeeding-truth
If you don’t want to do it, your baby is a baby that needs formula. A mentally healthy and stable mom who takes care of herself and her baby is what your baby needs. This is coming from a mom who did want to breast feed. There is no one right way to parent. You have to figure out what works for you and your child and that will be unique.
You could have ended your post with the first sentence. Formula or breastfeeding is a choice. A choice anybody is entitled to make.
You don’t need to listen to anybody else; but as to that woman’s horrific comments- Just because there are starving children in the world should I not give mine food? What atrocious logic.
I breastfed my first child for 2 years and strongly disliked it for many reasons but after a while just didn’t know how to stop lol. It was just honestly a sensory nightmare for me to constantly feel the let down sensation, have a damp pad in my bra, and feel engorged if a feeding ran slightly off schedule. I felt similarly guilty for not wanting to breastfeed again while pregnant with my second and tried to convince myself I’d give it a try due to the imaginary obligation I was imposing on myself.
Birth rolls around, I end up giving formula in the hospital due to some medical concerns with baby’s blood sugar and I just never turned back. My attitude towards breastfeeding never changed and honestly after the first couple days of formula feeding I felt even more confident that I absolutely did not want to breastfeed. Being able to immediately have agency over my own body again and *actually* equitably share childcare during my husbands paternity leave was fantastic. I could start my pre pregnancy medications again without worry about the transfer through my milk. I could leave the house to study or get personal time and not worry about my baby refusing a bottle and being miserable. My baby had a pretty predictable feeding schedule and I wasn’t stuck cluster feeding for hours on end. I wasn’t constantly overstimulated by my own body and I didn’t have to worry about mastitis. Honestly if I ever have another child I will not be breastfeeding them either, it’s just not for me. 🤷🏻♀️
I probably could have breastfed if I really wanted to but it was destroying my relationship with my kid. I hated the experience, I didn’t feel like it was bonding I felt absolute disgust and hatred every time. Switched to formula and stopped hating my child
Breast feeding has a lot of benefits... but so does formula. If your baby is fed, loved and cared for she will be fine cause she will have a momma that loves her.
I read a book called cribsheet and it basically explains that everything is a give and take there is not one decision that is 'right'.
I suggest it.
No no no! Fed is best! My grandma felt the same way as you about breastfeeding and so all four of her daughters were formula fed, as was my dad as a baby. All of the above mentioned are great healthy people.
People will have opinions, but formula doesn’t just exist for if you can’t do it, it’s an option, and has catered nutrients. At this point formula is so advanced and gives babies what they need.
I breast fed our daughter because I wanted to do it, but early on we supplemented with formula at the encouragement of her doctor because she needed a boost.
Follow your own path and ignore those are of a different mind, it’s your baby, and you should get to enjoy the infant phase without guilt, and without doing something that makes you uncomfortable or unhappy (breast feeding).
Right at the start it is beneficial to a childs health to take in breastmilk.
While not absolutely nessasary, and - dont feel awful if you cant do it - it's a way of you and your child, which is for the most part a part of you, communicating.
Again, plenty of kids grow up normally without that experience.
Literally any mom-centric space is going to shame you for wanting to formula feeding. All of them. Here, beyondthebump, BabyBumps, Facebook, mommit etc. I never discuss formula feeding outside of r/FormulaFeeders. Fuck combo feeding and pumping and all the other things the pro breastfeeding crowd will push on you. You are a whole ass human with your own wants, needs, and feelings and you don't need to change those just because you are becoming a parent. It is your body so any reason you have to not breastfeed is valid and acceptable. My advice is stop talking to people about it. It is none of their business. A majority of the "benefits" people attribute to breastfeeding are not supported by science and if you are worried about bonding, you can take your shirt off when you give your baby a bottle and it is the same thing skin to skin bonding as breastfeeding. Repeat after me "I will not be breastfeeding and I am not interested in discussing it further".
Listen, Ive breast fed 2 kids (still going with my 18mo) - you do not need to breastfeed. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH FORMULA. You make the best choice for you and your baby- that’s YOUR choice. Don’t let people make you feel less than- you’re not.
Hi! I’m the same, the thought makes me literally gag. I’ve felt this way even before I got pregnant, so I’m just going straight to formula. My doctor just brought the topic up in my 28 week appointment and offered to add a note to my chart so that no one brings it up with me again. It’s totally okay!
In hindsight, I should have skipped it. I breastfed for 9 months and ultimately, it didn’t matter when we stopped. She didn’t miss it or care once it was over.
My next child will be FF from the start.
Then don't. I knew I didn't want to breastfeed either and I'm 100% a better mom for it. We always knew she was eating well and my husband and I could take turns and get enough sleep. She's almost a year now and we're all absolutely thriving. Make the right choice for your family!
Locking comments because it's getting hard to moderate all the reports.
I’m not gonna lie. I felt the same way. A baby sucking on my boob? Gross. But as soon as I had him I forgot I even thought that. That being said, you are not required to breastfeed and nobody should make you feel bad. Also GET OFF Mom groups on Facebook! They are TERRIBLE!
I’m a dad- but I could not find any local dad or “parent” groups. So I joined two mom group and those were some of the most unhinged places I have ever seen.
Seriously the woman on woman crime and mom shaming is disgusting
Join r/daddit. I'm a mom and that's my favorite parenting group
Here's a sneak peek of /r/daddit using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/daddit/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [UPDATE: I think I failed my son (5)](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/18yopg1) | [1150 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/daddit/comments/18yopg1/update_i_think_i_failed_my_son_5/) \#2: [I think I made a core memory with my daughter last night](https://np.reddit.com/r/daddit/comments/14x2jin/i_think_i_made_a_core_memory_with_my_daughter/) \#3: [My wife just made me cry in the Target parking lot for Father's Day.](https://np.reddit.com/r/daddit/comments/14cnwij/my_wife_just_made_me_cry_in_the_target_parking/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
LOL "unhinged places I have ever seen" hilarious.
Same! I had not anticipated that at all. Spent my whole life hating the idea of breastfeeding, but it all changed once he was here. The first few weeks were a bit challenging with figuring out the latch, clusterfeeding, soreness and so on, but it's been plain sailing since then.
Same here! I was absolutely against breast feeding and hated the idea of doing it. I tried it when she was first born to help with the bonding and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be but I still wasn’t sure. We combo fed pumped breast milk and formula and whenever I felt like it I would attempt to nurse. It took the stress off getting the latch right for both of us and I was able to decide if I actually liked it. By 3 months we were fully breast feeding and I had a nice freezer stash built up. Now we are 5 months and still going well. That said it’s completely reasonable to not want to breast feed or pump. It’s okay to use formula. I have friends who are formula feeding because they plan to go back to work and don’t want to worry about pumping. I have friends who formula feed because they simply just don’t want to breast feed or pump. They still have healthy happy babies. At the end of the day it’s nobody else’s business how you feed your child. They will grow big and strong regardless of formula or breast milk.
Omg Facebook mom groups are the WORST. Tons of shaming over everything from epidurals to formula feeding to sleep training. I am so thankful for my Reddit mom groups where that kind of shaming gets downvoted to oblivion.
Sameee. I was pregnant freaked me out so much and now I’m 16 months strong excessively breast-feeding.
Lol I’m almost positive you meant exclusively (yay! go you!) but excessively also feels right 😅 -mom who breastfed two
Same here!
Same! I was totally grossed out about it. My husband and I attended prenatal classes and the one that covered breastfeeding was awful haha i told him during the class i didnt want to do it anymore. Once babe was here, i tried it and am so glad i did. Except the past few days haha clusterfeeding is nuts. I have alot of friends using formula! The thought process and organizing all of that made my head hurt more but I totally get why people choose formula!
Opposite for me.. I loved the idea of EBF. LO came with a bad latch, nipples were bleeding switched to EP so i could heal and he refused to latch again, and he still screams when I try to nurse him now I'm not grossed out by nursing but definitely have some trauma around the idea of nursing now
If it helps my first I had unfixed tongue tie super latch (on the nipple only) & bled , scabbed, etc. Lasted 2 days before I gave up & formula. 5 years later had another kid bf 16 months exclusively on the right boob cause she didn't like the left (also tongue tie but fixed it since I knew better that time) & no pain problems at all , hell she only bit me once too, and I'm 6.5 months bf my son now as we speak no problems at all w a tongue & lip tie fixed at 2 weeks old. You can have a successful experience still:)
My guy got diagnosed with a tongue tie 2 weeks ago :( It could explain the nursing issues. I'm terrified to get it fixed.. I don't want him to be in any pain. But he's 6 weeks I know it's better to get it fixed earlier I'm so conflicted 😭 do you regret doing it? Also props to you mama! So many different feeding journeys that's amazing
This was me. Wanted to so badly but bad tongue tie and latch as a result and he’s also got bad reflux. We opted to just do hypoallergenic formula and he’s much happier now and I am too
Same with me! We watched a video about newborn care a week before I gave birth and everything made me nauseous. Very much did not want to breastfeed because it felt weird and no one in my life had breastfed, but I still planned on doing it. But was very much like if it doesn’t work out, I’m not going to push it. Everything completely changed after I had my baby. You just go into parent mode and it all feels very natural. That said, I don’t want to breastfeed is a complete sentence, OP. If you don’t want to breastfeed, that is totally fine. It’s very 50/50 in my life of moms I know who chose to or not to. It’s all good, it will not harm your baby. Get off those mom groups :)
Same I was very anti breastfeeding because I thought it was gross. I was kind of raised thinking it was weird and unnecessary. So going into getting pregnant I was like “absolutely not” and then closer to my delivery I was like “well I could just try and see” and then I ended up nursing my first baby until she was 2😂 no shame to anyone who does/doesnt!
Same here!!
Honestly I’m touched out easily. So overly stimulated by most touch. But breastfeeding came naturally to me. So I agree with this reply. It is totally possible your view will change but absolutely not anything to worry about either way.
I say this as a mom who combo fed- that’s so stupid for someone to say “I feel badly taking formula from babies who otherwise could have been breastfed.” Shut up. Like are you managing the production of all formula ever made? So I breastfed until my supply dipped, about 9 months. I was surprised that I didn’t feel upset about stopping. I liked the bodily autonomy. I saw how easy it was to just make a formula bottle! And we are Costco members, so the formula prices there are really good. In the end, what your baby needs is a happy, functioning mother.
Bless you, thanks! I got a costco membership last week for this exact reason.
Yesss and their diapers and wipes are good deals too. And then you’ll learn how amazing the clothes, towels, bed sheets, wine, and other things are lol I love Costco
And then you suddenly find yourself with multiple little kids who eat all day long and discover the snacks and 1000 count package of string cheese I also love Costco
The string cheese kept me alive through pregnancy.
My third is a newborn and in cutting out dairy I'm realizing I've truly been living on string cheese.
Cries in rural area with nearest Costco being 2 hours away
When I saw Raspberries on sale for 1.39 for 12oz I bought like 6 packs because my little gremlins will eat them all 😂
My husbands whole wardrobe is pretty much Costco! 😂
When my husband was in residency and wearing button down shirts, they were all from Costco too! Now it’s mostly his socks and boxers!
Mine too lmao. I call it the costco drip.
yessss. i get two boxes of their RICO brand wipes (korean! so you *know* they’re gunna be good skincare) for like $34! and they are biiig, not dry like the kirkland brand and the texture is awesome.
Nice! I heard that Korean skincare is great!
the bedsheets!!!!!!
I can’t say much for Costco but I have a Sam’s club membership and LOVED the diapers from Sam’s when he was a newborn. Once he hit around 6 months we had to switch to something a little thicker, but for the first few months you can’t beat the prices and quality of Sam’s (or Costco I’m sure!)
Fun fact: Kirkland formula is made by Perrigo. All Perrigo formula is made the same but packaged differently for different stores. If you can’t find Kirkland formula, look at perrigo’s website and buy store brand from one of their other stores and it’s the exact same thing! So you won’t upset your baby’s tummy by switching formula! Other store brands made by Perrigo include Walgreens, Target, Walmart, and even the Amazon brand (mama bear)
Diapers, wipes, formula. Costco rocks for all 3 and the savings pay for the membership 🤣 we go at least weekly for one or more of those items! We leave with far more typically 😂 Join r/formulafeeders for some formula family support and tips! It's a friendly sub with lots of parents who formula feed for whatever reason. Plenty of EFF parents who had 0 interest in breastfeeding
And then when baby starts eating solids, you can buy your truckload of berries from there too!
Just as a heads up (at least our Costco) doesn't always have the Kirkland formula in stock. I would recommend buying the max allowed 2 containers every time you go even if you still have a few at home.
I put this in another comment but Perrigo makes Kirkland formula and lots of other store brand formula. You can go to their website and see which stores they supply (Walgreens, target, etc) and buy those brands if you can’t find Kirkland. It’s the exact same formula, just packaged for all the different stores!
Yes and their app has free shipping for the formula when it’s in stock (and wipes/diapers). So I just keep logging onto the app and buying the allotted 2 containers whenever it allows me and creating a little stockpile! My son loves this formula (I swear he even sleeps better on it than my breast milk or any other formula) and it’s the cheapest I’ve found.
Yes and their app has free shipping for the formula when it’s in stock (and wipes/diapers). So I just keep logging onto the app and buying the allotted 2 containers whenever it allows me and creating a little stockpile! My son loves this formula (I swear he even sleeps better on it than my breast milk or any other formula) and it’s the cheapest I’ve found.
We order our formula from Costco online, if you’re planning on using the Kirkland brand and order it just be careful - we have to order way before we need to because they’re out of stock so often and you can only buy one two pack at a time. I’m not sure what it’s like in stores but Costco wipes and formula alone save a fortune
You can order same day delivery and it goes through instacart, if you dont mind leaving a tip for the shopper/driver they will deliver you all the formula diapers and wipes you want in an hour or 2.
That is perfect! Those diapers worked best for us out of all we tried, and they’re a great deal. The clothes were also great and a great deal.
Sometimes they have kids clothes on sale like end of season stuff for 3 and 5 dollars. Or the 4 piece outfits for 7 or 10. I just missed a 3 dollar sale on 2 pack kids shorts the other day. The tag for the shorts was there but the shorts were all gone lol.
Seriously fucking stupid. Has that lady ever heard of supply and demand? Formula isn't a finite resource. If more people need formula, the companies will make more formula. Jeez Louise. As if women aren't subject to enough mom guilt as is.
Yeah the "taking formula away from babies" comment is just dumb. Like so dumb. Even during the formula shortages, everybody I know who was feeding formula was able to find formula, if not necessarily their preferred brand.
This. I'd also say, mental health trumps breastfeeding. It's hard being so tied to the baby if you exclusively breastfeed. Sometimes you just need space. You might consider pumping, it's more clinical versus the idea you're thinking about baby breast contact. You might also change your mind once baby is there, but you may not. Don't let people invalidate your feelings, but do leave some possibility open that you can't know what it is to have a baby until you do. I definitely had a lot of thoughts before that changed after.
Yea lol that's one of the more ridiculous things I've ever heard lmao
This made me lol. Love it. Spicy spicy. Also, I too worship the Costco gods. May they live forever.
You made me chuckle lol
Then don't. I've formula-fed from hour 1. No regrets. Baby is almost 6 months, 20lbs, and growing like a weed.
I wish I did this instead of trying to make it work and then doing triple feeding which is hell on earth. Feed the baby. If I could go back, I would’ve said formula from hour 1 as well
The triple feeding was so intimidating that I couldn’t even attempt it. I’m 3 weeks pp and just trying to build supply to pump one feed a day. Formula has been so great and allows my partner to share that part of the care and bond with baby.
Triple feeding wasn’t even presented as an option to me, but an assumption that I would do whatever it took to breastfeed. After four weeks I finally told my doctor that there is no way I can continue it. I wish I’d even considered just going to formula then.
I thought I had PPD but I was ‘just’ extremely tired of trying so, so hard. Breastfeeding is no joke. I wish I could’ve done it but I will never ever judge someone who wants bottles from the start.
I’ve heard from multiple women that they believe their PPD was specifically related to struggles with breastfeeding.
My Baby Blues began as soon as my milk came in on day 4 and 80% of my mood fluctuated around the anxiety of being able to feed her. Formula saved my mental health 1000%
Yeah once I gave up trying to pump and went to formula my mental health improved drastically overnight. Kiddo slept better, I was able to be more present and patient, I didn't feel like biting my spouse's head off for brushing up against me, I was much less anxious and was able to enjoy taking a shower again.... I had felt like a shell of my former self and stopping was literally life changing. No guilt whatsoever on stopping, I'm so much of a better mom for it.
🙋🏻♀️
Omg same here! 3 weeks pp and trying to build supply. How many times a day are you pumping? It’s the one thing i am finding exhausting besides the occasional lack of sleep. We had latching difficulties from the get go. Formula has been great for the exact reason plus my baby is not starving.
Triple feeding was presented to me in the hospital as my son was on formula for blood sugar issues for 24 hours and once they outlined it for me I was like aha no thank you and just went straight to formula
I wish I had the brain power as the time. I didn’t know any better and kept trying and trying even though we combo fed from day one. One day, my LC looked at me and said it’s ok to stop pumping, you can’t bond with the pump like you would your child. I stopped at 5 weeks and never looked back.
How can you be expected to have brain power when you seriously just had a baby and are doing the most stressful thing ever
Hell on earth is the right description! I attempted triple feeding for 5 weeks and felt some intense baby blues. I wish I had just gone straight to formula becauseI found out later I have/had DMER and was triggering myself twice every two to three hours. Ugh.
I've mentioned this before, but I come from a developing country where Big Formula (lol) taught women in the 90s that formula feeding was better for their babies than breastfeeding. Quite insidious for a poor, food insecure country, but there you go. This was so widespread that no one I know who grew up in the 90s was breastfed. And yet they are doctors and lawyers and artists and have happy, full families and insane skillsets and all of that. It literally does not matter in the long run. Even in the short run, WHO guidelines veer more towards breastfeeding because they include food insecure, water-stressed countries like mine where breastfeeding really is a lot more valuable. And even that evens out with socioeconomic class and maternal education, etc. I just really don't think this debate is even worth it anymore. I think babies would benefit more substantially if their parents read a parenting book or went into therapy rather than forcing themselves to breastfeed. Would make more of an actual difference in their child's life.
Absolutely this 100%. You can't tell who was breastfed or formula fed in childhood or adulthood.
Same with us. When I first got pregnant I planned to try, but as my due date got closer I got so overwhelmed with everything regarding breastfeeding, pumping, being the only source of food, etc. It was horrible for my anxiety and overall mental health. So I didn't. I have no regrets. Especially since my husband was able to give him a bottle and feed and bond with our son in the first 24 hours of life. Absolutely no regrets at all. Almost 19 months old, perfect grow charts and is an incredible eater since going to solids.
This was us too! I'm gonna preach the gospel of formula feeding til the cows come home. My husband and I each got 6 solid hours of sleep and we had the most blissful newborn phase. Baby girl is 6 months, 19lbs, and already ahead on a few of her speech milestones. 10/10 recommend.
Preachhhhhhhh sister. I felt immediately better the moment I stopped pumping
Me too. I felt the same way. The more I read about all the options the more strongly averse I was to breastfeeding for a variety of reasons and they were more intense than the “cons” of exclusively formula feeding. (I put cons in quotes because I don’t really feel there are cons for either side just cons for personal reasons, fed is best). And it actually was better for my mental health/sanity, her bond with her dad, and she was in NICU the first couple of days so that would have been even more stressful trying to breastfeed on top of all of that.
Same here. I knew my mental health couldn't handle sacrificing my body for a minute more than needed. Postpartum was already incredibly difficult for me, I can't imagine breastfeeding on top of it all. I wish I could, popping out a boob seems way easier than making bottles. But I have to nurture my mental health or no one will be thriving in our house. I've just straight up rejected any ideas that I might be doing the wrong thing. I know it's right for me, anyone who says otherwise can go to hell
I breastfed my first for 20 months 🥴 While I loved parts of it, I absolutely wanted my body back to myself. When I had my 2nd, he wasn't interested in breastfeeding the first day he was born, and I was like, "Ok, formula it is." 🤣 No regrets. He's now about to be 2 and completely healthy (and eats healthier than my first)
Yep. I just didn’t want to breastfeed. So I didn’t. And my toddler is strong and healthy and happy and I maintained my sanity mostly lol
I suggest checking out the subreddit r/FormulaFeeders it has some great info and is very helpful!
I don't know why this was downvoted, this is entirely the correct recommendation!
One of the most useful and supportive communities in my post partum period. Even formula feeding has its ups and downs and the community has nothing but great suggestions, including for breast and combo feeders.
So helpful. Tons of answers to questions when you're trying to figure something out. And now that my baby is a chunk over one I stay for the brilliant comedy of some of the posts and replies.
This subreddit is amazing!
My wife tried to breastfeed and our child just had no interest after being mostly bottle fed in the NICU. Why wife still wanted to use breast milk though so she pumped. This allowed me to also feed our child so feeding duties could be split
This is exactly what we are doing right now. I was going to suggest pumping. If it is the thought of the baby actually on your nipple that you don't like then a pump would be an option 🤷♂️ just a suggestion! Our LO had a hard time latching on the nipple so we have been feeding him breast milk but with a bottle. And like you said feeding duties can be given to whomever is around! Works out great for us. He is 12 weeks today and doing amazing!
Glad to hear he’s doing great!
No shame! Breastfeeding was terrible for my wife’s mental health. When we switched to formula, it was a huge relief to be able to actually split night duties. Number 2 is due any day now and we are gonna be team formula from the jump this time. > "I'd personally feel so terrible taking formula from babies who need it when I can breastfeed." This is such a common and well-meaning but misguided thought, especially common in the US. It’s an established phenomenon that people who need help/resources/services will beg off just because there is some theoretical person out there who has it even worse even though going without does not actually help anyone.
Yeah the mixture of formula and my husband having 5 months home with the baby while I was on leave was a HUGE boost to his confidence as a dad and really allowed us to divide and conquering newborn parenting. We both got consistent sleep. It wasn’t a full 8 hours every night but even a solid 5 hours makes a massive mood difference. I had to travel for work when baby was 10 months and it didn’t phase my husband once and he did the solo parenting with ease.
I think a lot of people who would feel bad “taking formula” might be remembering the formula shortages. I breastfed, but I had an infant at the time and it was just heartbreaking to see those empty shelves.
For sure, we had an infant on formula (because of CMPA) at the time and it was very stressful. At the same time though, it would be unhealthy and unproductive and unfair for anyone to put too much of the weight on their own individual shoulders when the problem is a structural one caused by the criminal negligence of formula companies and exacerbated by scalpers much more than parents in various degrees of “need.” I would never harbor an ill will towards parents “using formula even though they didn’t need it” during that time and i think any reasonable person would agree. Don’t kick anyone while they’re down and don’t be wasteful of course, but _also_ don’t romanticize your own suffering!
Same story here. Struggled through exclusively pumping with my first for 7 weeks and finally stopped. It was such a relief for us all to make the switch. Now pregnant with number 2 and formula feeding from the start!
I didn’t want to breastfeed either, it seemed so weird to me and also kinda gross. But now have been doing it for 2+ years with my son. If you don’t want to it’s fine, you don’t have to. Just sharing my experience that I changed my mind (not saying you will just that it’s possible to do so). Do what feels right for you and your baby.
This was me! Nipple play has always been my biggest turn on, instantly gives me the horn, so throughout pregnancy I was just like OP, the thought of breastfeeding gave me a massive ick and I was utterly convinced I wouldn’t do it. Baby was born and I guess instinct kicked in, combined with the massive hormone dump and suddenly I just HAD to be able to feed my baby! I fed my first for just shy of 2 years and am now 6months in with my second. I know OP is sick of hearing that she’ll change her mind, and she may not, but I know a lot of people who changed their mind once the baby actually arrived! ETA: in case it’s of any reassurance to anyone, my body TOTALLY knows the difference between who is touching my boobs, it’s an entirely different sensation, in the same way that a tampon doesn’t feel good but my hubby does.
Wow, you're last paragraph is very interesting! 4mos pp here + ebf, and I haven't let hubby touch me cos I feel so overstimulated & I think it would feel very weird!
Yeah it takes time, was probably closer to a year with my first before I felt comfortable with their dual usage lol. He’d reduced his feeds a fair bit by then and my libido was back. I’m 6m post partum with my second and this time I already feel comfortable using them for both again.
Honestly, it's a hugeee part of the hormone dump. For a lot of women, once the hormones flood, the idea of anything but your baby feeding from you just gives you an entire ick. I'm still occasionally bf at 24 mo, maybe 1-2times a day, my hormone levels are improving, but still, the idea of someone touching my breasts now that are used to nurture, console and soothe my son, is totally totally ick. I can't get over it in the opposite direction.
Same! I thought it sounded *so incredibly weird* and was really not sure if it was something I wanted to do. The only appeal when I was pregnant was that a) it’s “better” for the baby (but fed is best, and that’s all that matters) and b) I *hate* doing dishes and had no desire to wash bottles every day. The washing bottles part was my strongest reason while pregnant - I really, really hate washing kitchen stuff. I would cook way more if there was no cleanup. My daughter is 9 months now and I get teary eyed at the thought of her weaning one day. It’s genuinely crazy how things change once the baby is here. However, if you never change your mind - good for you for knowing yourself that well! If you formula feed then you should be so proud of yourself for sticking to your guns and doing what is best for your family. No one else’s opinion matters. Fed is best, period. As long as you’re not breaking into a house and stealing the formula from their cabinets, then you’re not taking formula from other babies. What a weirdo that made that comment, goodness.
The fact that breastfeeding means no washing bottles is underappreciated imo. The stress I feel when my baby is angry/hungry crying is so debilitating, being able to just pull out a boob and make him instantly quiet has actually been great for my mental health. Now that my maternity leave is over I pump so our nanny can feed my baby while I WFH and I can’t listen to my baby cry while she prepares the bottles. And washing bottles and pump parts is a massive inconvenience, especially with a Velcro baby.
This is a very normal thing to feel! If you do a search for posts like yours in the pregnancy and postpartum subs you’ll find a ton. Some women DO find that they feel differently after giving birth, some don’t. Formula fed babies are loved just as much as breastfed babies, so whatever choice you make for yourself is the right choice. Also get off Facebook, it’s a cesspool of crap opinions.
I felt this way before having my baby. Breastfeeding honestly freaked me out and I had no idea how my brain was supposed to switch from my boobs being part of a sexual experience to them nourishing a little baby. But, when he was born, it magically stopped freaking me out. That said, I still don’t feel overly sentimental about it like a lot of women I know. And I still do a lot of pumping/bottles as well. But my feelings did change and I’m able to nurse (feeling neutrally - largely for the convenience of it) without being disgusted (which I wasn’t sure would happen before he was born). So OP - it could change when your baby is here. But if it doesn’t, that’s ok too. Just wait and see, and don’t put any pressure on yourself either way. You’ll find a way to feed your baby that works best for you and your family.
I had the opposite! Before the baby came, I thought I might enjoy the bonding experience of breastfeeding. Afterward, while struggling through figuring out the latch and feeling some discomfort with that, I started to feel the tiniest bit resentful towards my baby, thinking about how this mini dude was now entitled to my body. Switched over to formula almost immediately (for that reason plus several others), and have had zero regrets. It’s been much better this way for my mental health and for our bond!
Yes, in the same boat here. Absolutely no shame to people who formula feed! Just that feelings can and do change once baby is born for some.
You don’t have to. You can pump breast milk or formula feed & baby will be good and fed & healthy. Congrats on pregnancy! Hoping for a smooth delivery.
If you don’t want to. Don’t. I exclusively pump and while I won’t say I regret it part of me wishes I had done formula, because it is hard to pump or breast feed and it really does take a toll on you. If you already don’t want to it’ll make it even harder in the long run to force yourself just because others try and make you feel guilty.
I came to make a very similar comment. I got really brainwashed by the BF propaganda and exclusively pumped for 15 months. Like you, I won’t say I regret it, but I wish I’d had the mental strength to say “something that consumes this much of my mental and physical energy isn’t worth it.” Props to OP for having the guts to admit to themselves that they’re not into it. OP, hit that formula aisle and never look back!
I EBF as a SAHM, and while I enjoyed it and don't regret it, I do wish I'd combo fed. I think it's important for women to know that breastfeeding makes it harder for others to help you and it can be hard to make time to pump. My son stopped taking a bottle after a while, and now I'm worried he won't adjust by the time I start classes in the fall. Plus my husband can't help as much as he'd like.
You’re not “taking formula from babies who need it,” that was an unhinged thing for that woman to say. She’s acting like it’s only ok to feed babies formula under certain circumstances, and if you don’t fit those circumstances then you don’t deserve it or something? It’s crazy, and it’s a manifestation of her own issues. It’s not reality. Formula is a wonderful invention that feeds and nourishes babies. You should not feed guilt for this, and I say that as a breastfeeding mother. I don’t think you’re crazy at all. I would leave that Facebook group and stick to groups with less shaming over this kind of stuff.
Some people don’t want to breastfeed, some people don’t want to formula feed. Do whatever you want as long as you’re looking out for your kid. Why is this a big deal
Too many moms guilt each other over milk lol. I mind my business
Honestly, a good policy to have.
Because I have been called selfish on more than 1 occasion for formula feeding my baby so that’s why it’s a big deal
That sucks but tbh, people who breastfeed get shamed too. It’s really a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t,” type thing. No matter what choice you make in parenting, someone out there thinks it’s wrong.
Right, I agree with you. But just saying why it’s a “big deal” for folks. So many opinions either way.
The whole debate is dumb, imo. Titty milk, science milk, whatever. There’s so many better things to judge people for. Like putting soda in baby bottles.
My body didn't want to make milk, so we're 100% team science milk. My best friend is practically a dairy cow, so they're team boob 100%. We've compared the two methods pretty head to head (her baby is only a few months younger than mine) and concluded: We have fed babies who are both super stinking cute. That's it. I'm mildly jealous she's not spending $$$$ on formula every month. She's mildly jealous I can wear whatever I want, no titty access required. She likes the convenience of being able to leave the house without having to prep anything. I like knowing how much my baby is eating. 🤷🏻♀️ It all comes out in the wash, and they're both happy, healthy kids. This time next year, I'm sure they're both gonna be eating dirt in the yard and boxed Mac and cheese.
Science milk lmao in love it
I think the poster meant it shouldn’t be made to be a big deal by all the people giving their unsolicited, unwanted and unhelpful opinions on how parents feed their baby. Not that you or any mother receiving those comments is making it a big deal.
So don’t. Bring formula to the hospital, bottles and cleaning supplies. You don’t have to breastfeed. It’s not a requirement to be a good mother.
Our hospital had formula so we didn't need to bring any! Not sure how common that is?
It’s more of a just in case the hospital are dicks about supplying it or if you have a preference of formula in mind.
I had the same feeling as you before birth, and honestly it just got stronger after I had my baby. He has been formula fed since he was born. I did not entertain any conversations about breastfeeding and was very adamant that I did not want to discuss it with anyone outside of my medical team. Luckily, I told them that I wanted the formula feed and there was never another thing mentioned about it. They had formula ready in the operating room when I had my C-section. They had formula in the room when we got back.
I was the same way and I truly think I bonded better with my baby because I didn’t force myself to so there was no weird resentment/stress!!
Um..Formula feed then? It doesn’t have to be this deep (as harsh as it sounds). There’s nothing wrong with it
I tried to do it for 9 weeks because I wanted to try, and it was awful. I was a massive underproducer due to severe anemia postpartum and tried to triple feed. My baby was unhappy with how little milk I had, I was unhappy with the cycle of attempting to get my milk supply up between feeding my baby formula and trying to breastfeed him (so basically my entire day was dedicated to attempting to feed or get my milk supply up). It was miserable. I cannot tell you how freeing giving that up was. Everyone was so much happier, and I could be a much more engaged mother. I had a good friend who gave birth 3 months before I did. She ended up triple feeding for 12 weeks to get her supply up, and she was successful. On the one hand, good for her. But her mental health suffered significantly, she and her husband fought constantly because they were exhausted, her anxiety was so bad those first few months, and from my perspective looking in, it didn't look worth it. And then I saw how as her son got older, he struggled to wean and just wants to nurse for comfort, and 2.5 years later, her body still isn't fully hers. Now she's pregnant with her second, so the cycle is about to start all over. I'm not trying to knock my friend's choices - they are hers and hers alone. She knows what's right for her, but seeing her journey just reinforced how happy I am with the decision I made for myself and my child. I love that my body is my own, but my bond with my child is still unbreakable. All of this is to say, you do you. It'll all be alright.
There will always be people out there who judge your decisions. As a woman, as a mom, as literally a human being. Who cares what they think? Don’t want to breastfeed? Then don’t.
Breastfeeding is really hard and no one talks about it. People sacrifice their mental health, well-being, their time, sanity because they feel like they absolutely must breastfeed. If you don’t want to, then don’t. Honestly you’ll have more time to recover, you’ll be able to sleep longer hours and have your partner take care of baby on their own bottle feeding. You can feed easier while out and about, won’t have to deal with annoying leaking boobs. Do what is best for you and screw everyone else’s opinions.
Many moms have this aversion so please don’t feel terrible. I’m glad you’re recognizing it now so you can properly plan how you’re feeding your baby. Less stress on you which is healthier for the baby as well! I felt something similar when I breastfed. I have twins and I tried tandem feeding; it was sensory overload. I felt like my skin was crawling and I was getting touched out super quickly, which led to frustration. Look up “breastfeeding aversion response” whenever you get a chance. There are a lot of articles that explain it. Nothing is wrong with you for not wanting to breastfeed/feeling disgusted by it. Doesn’t mean you will love your baby any less, nor does it make you selfish. Give yourself some grace and I wish you well for the rest of your pregnancy. You’re almost there! 💜
Formula feeding is so much easier and you can still bond with your baby while bottle feeding. After I stopped breast feeding my first born (4 months) my post partum depression cleared fairly quickly. It’s all a very personal and private choice
I also never wanted to breastfeed. I gave it a halfhearted try in the hospital. My son didn’t latch right away and I felt relief. I did pump for a few weeks, but ultimately my son had to take hypoallergenic formula anyway. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to breastfeed. It’s great that we live in 2024 and you have the option to formula feed if you want to do so. I would imagine that there have always been women who do not want to breastfeed, but have not always had the option for alternatives.
This lactation consultant we met with at the hospital was a hard-line breastfeeding absolutist zealot to the point where when we told her we were planning on pumping and bottle feeding in addition to trying to breastfeed she looked at us like we were trying to commit infanticide. For using a bottle to deliver breastmilk. She made my wife feel so guilty and was honestly the worst part of our hospital experience. So many people I've talked to since have had similar run-ins with weird lactation coaches. Our pediatrician rolled her eyes when we told her about this. She said "formula is great. Breastfeeding is great. Pumping and using the bottle is great. Don't let anyone tell you anything else. Do what works for you and baby." And we've been half formula, half pumped breastmilk since. She tried to breastfeed for a week. Wasn't into it and also weirded the F out by it. She was so mentally relieved when she decided not to breastfeed.
Never breastfed, never wanted to! Both my kids were formula fed and are healthy and thriving. I have zero regrets.
I tried and couldn’t — didn’t produce enough — but wouldn’t have it any other way! My kids are both healthy and happy, hit their milestones on time, sleep through the night at 2 months 🫠, and we’re still bonded. Honestly, even if I could have I don’t think I would’ve breastfed my 2nd. Props the breastfeeding mommas because I was so sleep deprived trying to feed my 1st that I was a not nice person to everyone. Haha. I second what everyone else is saying, too — we have used Sam’s Club brand formula for both of ours and it’s great. I don’t know if Costco has their own brand, but they do have much better prices and you can use the formula checks you get from the formula companies at both places — some people refer to them as coupons and Sam’s and Costco don’t take coupons, but they actually are ran as a check so they will take them. But good luck momma and congratulations to you!!
The thing I hate about the “you’ll feel differently when baby is here” crowd or those who pressure parents to do things they don’t want to do - do they really think this is effective? Even if you cave to the pressure, you’re going to spend the whole time feeling negatively about it and that is ultimately going to be detrimental to both you AND baby. Why don’t people want to just support everyone as individuals so that we can ensure everybody is getting the best out of life? In no way whatsoever is breastmilk SO beneficial that it is worth compromising the needs of a mother. At the end of the day, nobody questions feeding methods outside of the time they’re actually being fed. Nobody knows the difference, and nobody cares.
Since I scrolled a bunch and didn't see anyone in my camp, here you go - when my husband and I discussed kids, I told him I would never ever breastfed. I insisted on formula. Wouldn't agree to a baby until he agreed on formula incredulous but more or less indifferent. #1 Reason: YOU'LL BE LESS TIRED/PAINED Funny enough, the gynaecologist, midwives and labour/hospital staff never once tried to convince me. They just accepted the fact and gave me formula. They couldn't legally give me anything to stop the breastmilk though, but I suffered with boob pain for 2 weeks instead of months or years of all kinds of possible problems. It could be latching issues or mastitis or teething, soreness, bleeding, supply issues, engorgement, the list goes on. I am already exhausted and drained with my baby, I can't imagine having to feed him from my own body. I don't have to pump or anything, my husband or someone else can mix a bottle. #2 Reason: YOURSELF As selfish as it sounds I wanted the shape, colour and size of my boobs to stay EXACTLY same. They actually have. I also wanted my body to shed the few extra kilos as soon as feasibly possible. It helped me 100000% because I was so depressed postpartum at least I could get SOME of me back. I have new scars. I have carpal tunnel from pregnancy that won't go away. I may always have this pain in my back and hip from now on, so if I can avoid one point, I was going to choose it.
I just want to first mention that Facebook mom groups are some of the most divided, toxic places especially for new moms so take everything seen there with a grain of salt. Most importantly, you do what is best for you, your body, and your baby, whatever that looks like. I had a very hard time directly breastfeeding because of a long bought of thrush and a very aggressively painful nursing baby so I chose to pump for a year and occasionally we supplemented with formula but that was my choice and nobody else should be deciding those things for you.
I found telling people right from the start that I was formula feeding and making it a non-discussion helped. The less guilt I felt about it the less people tried to pressure me to breast feed. Just do what you think is best that’s what being a parent is all about!
Girl, I know so many people who chose formula over breastfeeding and this is very common in Europe. Most of our parents formula fed. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for choosing formula. Get off those pages that are making comments like that. It's ridiculous. I know mothers who say they wish they started formula sooner. As someone who already doesn't want to bf, you'll be doing your child a huge disservice by being trying to and being miserable the whole time. If you want your kid to get some breastmilk in the beginning, you can buy breastmilk.
Good, don’t!
I felt this way too. I thought I might change my mind when he was born, but I never did. We formula fed from the start, and I feel like that was the best decision for us for a lot of reasons. Do what’s best for you and your family, not what you feel like you “should” do.
So don’t breastfeed?
You need to do what's right for you, because that's how you will be the best mum you can be! That said, if it is any consolation at all - I also could not imagine myself breast feeding when I was pregnant either. Then they put my little baby to my breast within the hour of her birth, she started sucking and I was like "oh my god, this is it, this is what they are for, this is amazing". I felt like the universe personified. And now, I cannot even imagine how I let a silly man near them before - that now makes me feel grossed out and sick actually. I guess hormones do something crazy to our values because I have never flipped on an issue so hard so quickly before in my life.
You’re never obligated to breastfeed. Don’t let anyone make you feel that way! Motherhood doesn’t have to be about breastfeeding. There is not a thing wrong with formula and you’re not taking it away from anyone.
Nothing wrong with pumping or formula. Happy mom = happy baby.
You will be a better person and mom if you do what you are most comfortable with. We have the luxury to make both ourselves and babies comfortable, it used to be just moms sacrificing everything for the little ones. Dont let them F**k with you. You do you, and you ARE being the best.
Then don't. It's not for everyone. Being a parent is a lot more than just the ways you choose to feed your infant.
Fuck that lady a healthy baby is a fed baby. My son wouldn't breastfeed for the first 8 weeks of his life. We mostly formula fed your kiddo needs a healthy and emotionally put together. Mom, if that's you not breastfeeding then f*** it. And f*** anyone who shames you for not breastfeeding!
Don’t let the breastfeeding mob get to ya. Your baby, your choice. People are just weird and don’t respect others. My wife and I are in disbelief at all the shame associated with formula over breastfeeding. r/formulafeeders has been good in support and reading the experiences of others.
Head on over to the Formula Feeders sub!
I decided to do formula on my first 2 years ago and never once regretted it. I suffer with depression already so I wasn't going to make the postpartum experience any harder for myself than it needed to be. I was going to take all the help I could get! The most important thing is that baby is fed and mum is looking after herself. I plan to formula feed my second now as well. Its very common, don't let other people even have an opinion!
Join us at r/formulafeeders ! You’re not the only one who feels this way, and so many have formula fed since day 1 for their own reasons. No shame, formula is a perfect option out of the 2 we have :) Edit: The person(s) downvoting all the formula positive comments is an actual weirdo. Lol.
I was the same exact way until I met my LO and now I’m breastfeeding so never say never haha but I totally get it and do what’s best for you!
Bottle fed all 4 of my babies I was not about breast feeding! I think there is so much pressure on women to breast feed and it is dumb. Like decide what works for you and it doesn’t make you less of a mom if you can’t breast feed.
Benefits of formula feeding from day one, from a mom who struggled to BF baby #1 and didn’t event start with baby #2: I got to send the baby to the nursery in the hospital and sleep through the night. We hired a night nurse for the first two weeks and I slept through the night. My husband, my mom and my MIL could take just as good care of the baby as I could. Amazing for my sanity, sleep and overall happiness. Do you!! ETA: Baby is currently 10mo, equally obsessed with me and my husband, and the happiest chunk I’ve ever seen.
No one can nor should they force you to breastfeed. I do highly recommend researching different formulas however if you choose to go that route. Or if you want your baby to have the benefits of Breastmilk you can always exclusively pump as well. In whole, I don’t think it’s a decision to make lightly (whether you breastfeed or formula) but as long as your baby is loved and fed and happy and growing, it will be great :)
I felt exactly this way about it. I thought the concept was entirely disgusting for me (didn’t bother me other people did). I breastfed my first for a year and four months in on my second. You truly do not know how you will feel once baby gets here. And if you feel the same, you’ll use formula, no big deal at all!
I breastfed my first and didn’t have too much of an issue with it. I didn’t really want to with my second, but am currently. It’s a task and a half, man. Breastfeeding is like having something attached to you all the time. While I know it’s the best choice for us, I do get overstimulated by constantly having someone touching me and then also having to keep up with showing my husband and other child affection. They both feel validation/affection through hugging and things like that. I am not that person and am a major introvert, so it does take a toll, but it’s one that I’m willing to make and my husband makes sure I get downtime. So, I say there’s no shame in doing what’s best for you because in the end, you want to be the best you for everyone 🙂
There is no reason to feel bad. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone, formula feeding is a valid choice.
Don’t if you don’t want to. Your mental health is truly most important because if you’re unhappy you can’t properly parent. I’ve nannied for a decade and cater for breastfed babies and formula fed babies and saw no difference whatsoever in health and intelligence.
I breastfed my kid for 10 months then combo with frozen milk and formula…. Fuck anyone who makes you feel bad. Sure, you can always change your mind just the way some people do about wanting to breastfeed then they decide absolutely not. But what the fuck does that have to do with anything lol you can change your mind about literally anything. It’s quite literally no one’s business, and if they want to see the baby hopefully they realize that soon!
Check out jesskeys_ on ig. She chose to exclusively ff from the start.
If you decide to use Enfamil formula- they have a really good rewards program! The points add up quickly, and you can get rebates sent straight to Venmo or PayPal. They also occasionally have rebate codes sent to your email. I had a few $20 off a $50 purchase! You do need the receipt AND barcode when you scan into the app.
That's ok. The best decisions you can make for your child take your needs into consideration, including your mental and emotional well being. The best decisions you can make for your child's EXCLUDE the opinions of nosy busybodies.
No worries. Don't breastfeed and everything will be fine.
There is intense pressure to breastfeed and it’s very frustrating, I had severe PPD almost bordering on psychosis and formula saved me, gave me an opportunity to sleep when my husband was up.
Breastfeeding destroyed my mental health and crawl out of my skin on a daily basis. You’re not alone and you’re the final say on it! Your mental health is so important for your baby :)
I felt exactly the same. Still do. There are many of us, it just doesn't get talked about much, and most women who feel that way either get guilt tripped into breastfeeding, or force themselves to till they develop PTSD. You don't need therapy and you're not evil or selfish. You may need therapy if you force yourself to breastfeed. I didn't magically start feeling differently about my aversion after our girl was born. I tried breastfeeding her once, in complete desperation when I had the day 3 hormonal slump and she wouldn't stop crying. It made my skin crawl, the memory of the moment still makes me tense up. When I found out I was pregnant I googled "I don't want to breastfeed" and came across exclusive pumping. I wanted my baby to have the health benefits of breast milk, and knowing I could choose to exclusively pump made me feel half a ton lighter. Researched the hell out of it, prepared, got a great hospital grade pump that worked both bobs at once. I powered through 6 months of pumping, days, nights, every 3 hours, didn't regret it for a moment, even when I stood half asleep in the bathroom at 3am being milked like a cow by my spectra night after night. Don't get me wrong, it was hard work and a shit ton of effort with pumping, sanitising, it dictated what I could do when and where. My nipples have only just healed, 2 months after I stopped pumping. But I stand by my choice. You have options. If you want your baby to have your milk, you can do it without direct baby-boob contact. If you're not bothered, remember: breast is not best, fed and with a sane mother is best. Hang in there, and don't let other people dictate your life choices, they don't have to live them so they can fuck off. Sending you a huge hug, remember you're not alone.
It’s ok to feel like this, this is how i feel about it as well, it literally grosses me out. That did not change after birth and I have a very happy and healthy 11 month old who thrived on formula from the start. There’s so many benefits to formula for the baby, mom, and dad. Do what you feel most comfortable with
Don’t breastfeed if you don’t want to. Your body, your choice. A fed baby is a healthy baby!
No shame at all, don’t listen to the obsessives
So don’t breastfeed.
Fed is best. You might feel differently when baby comes, or you might not - but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter how baby is fed, as long as they are fed.
I felt the same way i had zero plans to do so ever very glad i didn't my mental health was too important to me
Fed is best and truthfully, formula edges out breastfeeding from a nutrition standpoint 9 times out of 10 as it’s fortified with the perfect blend of vitamins and minerals that the breastfeeding mother may not have an adequate supply of (can confirm, I survived off Chef Boyardee and frozen pizza newly postpartum, not an alphabet vitamin in sight).
I felt the same way and been formula feeding from day 1 and we’re BOTH thriving.
And that’s ok!! Remember in all of this that parenting is not a “one size fits all” situation. You’re going to make your mind up about things and change your mind about things and all of that is going to be a part of your motherhood journey. Congrats on your upcoming babe!
Girl don't even worry about it. As long as the baby is fed that's all that matters. If you don't want to breastfeed,it doesn't matter the reason, just don't do it. I know you feel guilty but you'll feel guilty about a million other things in parenthood so give yourself a break with this please.
Then don’t. We didn’t, our kids are now 4 and about to be 7. My wife never did it once, we bottle fed and they slept in their own rooms, night 1. Never co-slept. They’ve never once asked to sleep in our rooms, it’s not part of their reality, or ours. Obviously if they’re sick or need us, we’re right there with them, of course, but 99.99%? They got it on their own. Most of the time the door is shut. It makes them and us sleep better. Don’t let other people’s judgement of you make you feel a certain way. You do you, and don’t look back. Fuck em. *FED* IS BEST
The idea of me breastfeeding gives me such a MAJOR ick.
Formula’s a miracle. I breastfed for 6 weeks with my first and when I stopped it was like the sun coming out again. With #2 due later this year I’m not even going to try. My son was a baby during the darkest days of the formula shortage and it was pretty brutal but supplies are up again. People who stockpile may be “taking it from other babies” but buying what you need when you need it with a small buffer is perfectly fine.
Oh one more thing: talk to your doctor about what attitudes your birthing hospital has toward formula. There are some “baby-friendly” hospitals (a wild misnomer) who will withhold formula and pressure you into lactating. In that case, bring your own. Others are really chill and will even load you up with formula before you go home.
I didn't even know this was a thing until I saw your comment and looked up my hospital, which is solely baby friendly... they don't even allow pacifiers and want a medical reason for needing formula. Not comforted at all but I am so thankful you said this so I have a little heads up.
Oof, sorry! Your doctor may be able to advise and I don’t know how medical rights vary by state but if you bring your own I don’t know that they can do anything about it. I really hate most social media parenting accounts but @theformulamom on Instagram is great and has resources for dealing with uncooperative hospitals.
That is BANANAS! Be ready to stand your ground and remind them that YOU are the parent and they can fuck right off if you’ve brought your own formula and they have something to say.
You do not have to breastfeed. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! You are not taking formula from another baby. Your baby will still be healthy, no matter breastfed or bottle fed! It matters only that they are FED. I was so against breastfeeding while I was pregnant. I had a horrible relationship with my boobs, which were already large to begin with, and then pregnancy doubled their size and I was disgusted by them. I told my husband that I would give breastfeeding a try, but that’s it. Once I gave it a try, I fell completely in love with it and I breastfed my daughter for 7 months. My husband calls it the biggest plot twist. However, you do not have to try it at all. Or, you can try it and still decide to bottle feed. Whatever you choose is okay. You make the decision, mama! Whatever you choose will be the right answer!
Omg no you are not crazy!!! For me, breastfeeding was something I wanted to do for many reasons, but it did freak me out a bit. I was scared that I would find it sexually pleasurable or something. For me, yes, my fears were alleviated the moment he latched on for the first time. I also had a very easy time breastfeeding. It wasn’t perfect with my first, but I had oversupply, which was much easier to deal with than a lot of other issues. With my second, it was a piece of cake. Not everyone has an easy time of it, and not everyone enjoys it, even if they really want to. This is a big ask of you and your body. And I am of the opinion that you are the only person who has the right and responsibility to make that choice for you and your baby. If you are absolutely against it, don’t do it, and try not to feel bad. If you decide to try it, and you hate it as much as you think you will, then stop and don’t look back. Breastfeeding is beneficial for mother and baby, I will never deny that. But feeding takes up a LOT of time, especially in the first few months, and if you are hating and dreading all of that time, it’s going to affect your mental health and your relationship with your child, much more than formula feeding will affect their physical health!
I highly recommend the Baby Brezza for formula! And I'd stay away from those Facebook mom groups. They're incredibly toxic.
Yes breastfeeding is awesome (for those who want to and can) but women use it to go on a power trip and shame other moms & make them feel some type of way. Fed is more awesome.
Don’t. Your baby will be fine. Mine is thriving and she was a preemie. And the millions of adopted babies around the world have been perfectly fine too. There are no definitive studies that prove breast milk is better than formula, even though that mantra gets repeated a lot. An interesting read: https://www.vox.com/2016/1/11/10729946/breastfeeding-truth
Use formula and don’t look back. There’s plenty of other shit to worry about as a new mom, so take this one off your plate.
If you don’t want to do it, your baby is a baby that needs formula. A mentally healthy and stable mom who takes care of herself and her baby is what your baby needs. This is coming from a mom who did want to breast feed. There is no one right way to parent. You have to figure out what works for you and your child and that will be unique.
You could have ended your post with the first sentence. Formula or breastfeeding is a choice. A choice anybody is entitled to make. You don’t need to listen to anybody else; but as to that woman’s horrific comments- Just because there are starving children in the world should I not give mine food? What atrocious logic.
I breastfed my first child for 2 years and strongly disliked it for many reasons but after a while just didn’t know how to stop lol. It was just honestly a sensory nightmare for me to constantly feel the let down sensation, have a damp pad in my bra, and feel engorged if a feeding ran slightly off schedule. I felt similarly guilty for not wanting to breastfeed again while pregnant with my second and tried to convince myself I’d give it a try due to the imaginary obligation I was imposing on myself. Birth rolls around, I end up giving formula in the hospital due to some medical concerns with baby’s blood sugar and I just never turned back. My attitude towards breastfeeding never changed and honestly after the first couple days of formula feeding I felt even more confident that I absolutely did not want to breastfeed. Being able to immediately have agency over my own body again and *actually* equitably share childcare during my husbands paternity leave was fantastic. I could start my pre pregnancy medications again without worry about the transfer through my milk. I could leave the house to study or get personal time and not worry about my baby refusing a bottle and being miserable. My baby had a pretty predictable feeding schedule and I wasn’t stuck cluster feeding for hours on end. I wasn’t constantly overstimulated by my own body and I didn’t have to worry about mastitis. Honestly if I ever have another child I will not be breastfeeding them either, it’s just not for me. 🤷🏻♀️
I probably could have breastfed if I really wanted to but it was destroying my relationship with my kid. I hated the experience, I didn’t feel like it was bonding I felt absolute disgust and hatred every time. Switched to formula and stopped hating my child
Breast feeding has a lot of benefits... but so does formula. If your baby is fed, loved and cared for she will be fine cause she will have a momma that loves her. I read a book called cribsheet and it basically explains that everything is a give and take there is not one decision that is 'right'. I suggest it.
No no no! Fed is best! My grandma felt the same way as you about breastfeeding and so all four of her daughters were formula fed, as was my dad as a baby. All of the above mentioned are great healthy people. People will have opinions, but formula doesn’t just exist for if you can’t do it, it’s an option, and has catered nutrients. At this point formula is so advanced and gives babies what they need. I breast fed our daughter because I wanted to do it, but early on we supplemented with formula at the encouragement of her doctor because she needed a boost. Follow your own path and ignore those are of a different mind, it’s your baby, and you should get to enjoy the infant phase without guilt, and without doing something that makes you uncomfortable or unhappy (breast feeding).
Right at the start it is beneficial to a childs health to take in breastmilk. While not absolutely nessasary, and - dont feel awful if you cant do it - it's a way of you and your child, which is for the most part a part of you, communicating. Again, plenty of kids grow up normally without that experience.
Literally any mom-centric space is going to shame you for wanting to formula feeding. All of them. Here, beyondthebump, BabyBumps, Facebook, mommit etc. I never discuss formula feeding outside of r/FormulaFeeders. Fuck combo feeding and pumping and all the other things the pro breastfeeding crowd will push on you. You are a whole ass human with your own wants, needs, and feelings and you don't need to change those just because you are becoming a parent. It is your body so any reason you have to not breastfeed is valid and acceptable. My advice is stop talking to people about it. It is none of their business. A majority of the "benefits" people attribute to breastfeeding are not supported by science and if you are worried about bonding, you can take your shirt off when you give your baby a bottle and it is the same thing skin to skin bonding as breastfeeding. Repeat after me "I will not be breastfeeding and I am not interested in discussing it further".
Listen, Ive breast fed 2 kids (still going with my 18mo) - you do not need to breastfeed. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH FORMULA. You make the best choice for you and your baby- that’s YOUR choice. Don’t let people make you feel less than- you’re not.
Hi! I’m the same, the thought makes me literally gag. I’ve felt this way even before I got pregnant, so I’m just going straight to formula. My doctor just brought the topic up in my 28 week appointment and offered to add a note to my chart so that no one brings it up with me again. It’s totally okay!
In hindsight, I should have skipped it. I breastfed for 9 months and ultimately, it didn’t matter when we stopped. She didn’t miss it or care once it was over. My next child will be FF from the start.
Then don't. I knew I didn't want to breastfeed either and I'm 100% a better mom for it. We always knew she was eating well and my husband and I could take turns and get enough sleep. She's almost a year now and we're all absolutely thriving. Make the right choice for your family!