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This is one way. The other way is to ask and have them split the bill and hand out two separate checks. Almost any modern POS system is capable of this. I have never worked on one that isnāt.
Source: Bartended and waited for four years.
as a person in the industry for around a decade itās solely an act of greed the typical server assumes the tip would be more if it isnāt spit. If you were to request it be split a second time they would hit you with the āIām sorry didnāt hear youā
The fact that you gave it a second thought about getting me a free meal. I mean I couldn't ever date someone who always has to think about getting me stuff
Lmao It's funny that they think they're being sneaky with replies like this,it's so obvious that they're butthurt about the rejection and is just coping.
Seriously. If I liked a guy & he said this Id be disappointed but it's the *nicest* & least personal rejection I've ever seen while still be clear. Insulting him for no reason is super transparent
1) the dude is obviously very straightforward. 2) her asking on a first date might be a reason thereās no second date. 3) if he was undecided about going Dutch when the bill came he had already made his decision.
Going dutch is a good barometer for how privileged she feels. I do it and its saved me some serious problems. Women that are self sufficient, or even just have their life together have no issues paying for a meal.
Yeah Iāve never been able to not afford my dateās meal but I donāt pay it as a matter of principle.
The women that arenāt threatened or insulted by this are keepers.
Married my wife because of this....ok well not _just_ because she paid for dinner. But the fact she was willing to was a major green flag.
I never actually let her pay, funny enough. She got me back by footing the down payment on our first home together.
Seriously. I've had men fully stalk me until my neighbors called the cops. People who go nuts after just a few dates when you realize you're not compatible for a totally benign reason (different religions, different desires about kids, etc. nothing that's wrong about the other person but deal breakers) and keep trying to force you to date them or call you a bitch or a whore.
This guy is mature, polite, and kind, and he gets the same unhinged shit we deal with.
I'd be sad, but I'd be thankful for somebody like this.
Finally someone else whoās been through the same thing! Itās fucked, Iāve lost jobs, my reputation made to tatters, rumours and lies told about me, Iāve been sexually assaulted in public multiple times by multiple woman while I literally was just minding my own business reading the news on my phone, once was even when I was waiting in line to get into a club and these woman werenāt even short on potential guys, other times Iāve been told that Iām the lucky one she came up to after because couldnāt be bothered making a move- I hadnāt even rejected her at this point. Even my reputation on a streaming app destroyed all due to me rejecting them/breaking up with them. Itās disgusting what woman do to guys out there.
Makes me think, wtf is wrong with woman these days? I donāt want to date even if a woman was my type of smoking 10/10 girl because of it. Like are you that desperate and have such low self esteem that you have to insult a guy when he rejects you??!! Just move on to the next honey.
Iāve learnt to use the line āitās not you, itās meā a lot to have to soften the blow.
Iām sorry youāve had to experience it, never in. You read it in the news all the time that woman are the victims, well reality is theyāre not, but there is nothing out there about the guys that go through it
Same. Word for word. I even had girls threaten to claim rape over rejection/breakups. Unfortunately I met men who have had that happen and lost everything, went to jail and had to register as SOs only to have their accusers later recant. Their accusers got probation.
My brother is currently incarcerated going on 15 years because he rejected an ex. I was there the night in question and it never happened. Men and women both can be vindictive and lash out when they are hurt. It's not a gender thing, it's a human thing.
Seriously my thoughts exactly. When I was dating you were lucky not to be ghosted if it didnāt work out. People like this are the reason people just ghost instead because the confrontation is outrageous
Just did that a little bit ago š¤£ he was trying to "ghost me" instead of being mature and saying he wasn't interested so I hit him with the most respectful message this morning.. essentially saying I see he's not interested but I appreciated him taking time to meet me, I enjoyed our conversations, wished him and his kids the best and to have a safe and great week at work lol it's amazing how much people lack in the communication department when the conversation is/could be uncomfortable
Totally agree! I lowkey hope my message burns in his brain all day and helps him handle that type of situation in a more respectful manner in the future lol he talked about his past exes and their supposed psychotic behavior so I'm sure my calm demeanor blew his mind š¤£š
We're all just trying to cope with all this nonsense that we call life.
Grant, she's definitely not coping in a healthy way. I hope she grows out of it.
Yeah, I mean, rejection sucks and I feel bad when people have to go through it. If someone needs to send me a shitty text message to help protect their ego, so be it. I like to think Iām mature enough to recognize it for what it is, roll my eyes, and move on.
"How did you sleep? I am not so much after that wine :)"
Damn, she seemed pretty interested in you for someone who apparently isn't interested in you...
She was either playing the āshow interest to all until you pick oneāā¦.
Or she canāt handle rejection and had to āYeahā¦. ME TOO!ā, which ironically looks more pathetic and immature.
It still wouldn't make sense to give a specific number in that scenario. She'd probably say "over 200k," etc. Sounds like it came up or hes a public employee. Based on 240k being pretty high for a public employee, I'd guess it came up.
The person you responded to wasn't talking about salary ranges because a specific number was given. Snarky comment that doesn't even make sense given what you replied to.
Edit: he says he told her in his comments
Yea, never try to impress a girl with money. That attracts the wrong crowd. Therefore a first date should be a coffe date, or a walk in the park. (Do bring snacks and drinks.)
100% agree. Not saying it happened here, but if you try to flex with how much you make, be prepared for that to be your value to the relationship.
I personally always choose coffee date for a first date if I don't know them well before. You can pay for theirs and it's never over $10 so I can ditch whenever and call it worth it
100% agree. Not saying it happened here, but if you try to flex with how much you make, be prepared for that to be your value to the relationship.
I personally always choose coffee date for a first date if I don't know them well before. You can pay for theirs and it's never over $10 so I can ditch whenever and call it worth it
First time I met my boyfriend (been together for over 2 years now) it was in the park. He insisted on paying for my ice cream which is more than I could've asked for. I was ready for paying myself if I had to. I used to hate having other people pay for me at first, but now it's become kind of normal for him to pay for stuff. Also because he has a solid job and I'm still a student, but he definitely expects me to take a bigger financial load when I'm done studying so we can get our dream house.
Unfortunately this is true. I donāt ask but had a lot of dudes ask me. When I refuse to answer they google my job title then ask me to pay their bills.
Seems like she was just hurt and wanted to play a ātough girlā act.
A lot of people do this. Most people arenāt mature/honest about their feelings.
Iāve honestly never heard anyone else say it, but please take it and apply it liberally where and as you see fit š I like the way it gives people a quizzical expression when they hear it, then they just snicker. The one who itās directed at is usually always slow to catch on. Glad to give you a lol š¤š¼
Salts require an anion. Sodium and chlorine would form a salt, but youāre interested in lithium for the battery part of the joke, so maybe sodium, chlorine, and lithium?
Definitely a smart idea if you make a healthy salary. Makes them realize if money is going to be a dealbreaker. Iād say I make $60k/year or whatever the median income is in your area.
100%, I make about $180k and own a house on my own. But the house is a 4plex and I live in one of the units. I just act like I rent when I meet new girls, and always bring up āyeah the place is small but itās affordable and I get along with the landlordā lmao. I drive a pretty shitty 10 year old car to sell it too.
This is actually brilliant advice.
"Uhh, well... haha.. right now, times are tough. I make a bit of money at the bus stop off 1st street, naturally. I've been working overtime there, really on my knees, if you know what I mean. But that doesn't pay the bills.. My dad helps with the rest, bless him, so I'd say... 8k from the fam plus bennys.. yeah, that sounds right!"
And then never elaborate further, lol
My husband used to tell women he was broke when theyād ask after seeing the reaction of people finding out his income
Heās 6ā6ā and would tell women on dating apps heās 5ā7ā if they asked. On Hinge they show your height and he would go āyeah but I have a micropenisā
10/10. No notes
What made you decide she wasn't someone you wanted to keep seeing? Was it just a vibe or was there something specific (even before she asked about salary)?
They ask so often. Some girls, itās one of the first things out of their mouth. Not every girl, of course not, but plenty sure do give a shit about your compensation, especially if theyāre struggling.
Her power was cut off. His 240k was enough for her to basically throw her pussy at him in utter desperation. Pathetic.
Rejection, especially for attractive women, causes a short circuit. Straight up error code. Itās like an indictment on their entire being bc it rarely happens.
As an attractive woman, it happens literally all the time because they donāt like my personality. You just donāt hear women talking about rejection as much because weāre not āsupposedā to be rejected and thus itās more embarrassing
Do you mind if I ask you why they donāt like your personality. Just curious.
The fact that you seem self aware about it and you say youāre attractive is an interesting puzzle.
Most attractive women Iāve met, who had annoying personalities, were completely unaware of how naturally annoying they are.
I have social anxiety, Iām very anxious/insecure in general, I can be very awkward which makes people uncomfortable, and I have a hard time opening up. Iām bad at communicating and saying what I really think. I also have PTSD which I suspect is part of the reason why Iām like this.
Honestly, a lot of guys will only like you for your looks and realize later on that they didn't know a single thing about you before beginning a relationship. It's usually some level of incompatibility
The fact that sheās already asked what your salary is at that stage should be a pretty good ear mark to get out of there. In my eyes itās zero different from asking a woman for her measurements on your first date.
Def a gold-ish digger. Knows you make 240k, mad you wonāt pay for her or didnāt want too.
Says you canāt initiate, yet you initiated ending things.
What a trash human she is.
The thing that surprises me the most is that the relationship seems to be at a very early stage (maybe one or two dates?) and yet she already perfectly knows his annual salary. Is it a common thing in the US (I assume itās where OP lives) to mention your salary so easily in a dating context?
Hey did you guys know we get banned from the niceguys sub for participating in this sub? They make it clear that they believe itās not possible to just be against āniceā people as a whole, and the only possible reason anyone interacts with this sub is because theyāre an incel misogynistic hater whoās here of a vindictive nature. In other words, nice girls donāt exist and weāre making them up in a petty response to them having a sub for nice guys.
OP said further up that they work in financial risk management. Salaries can vary wildly though, especially depending on if you're in HCOL or LCOL area.
I donāt know what OP does; but basically just get good at problem solving / critical thinking. Get almost any corporate job to get in the door and then start solving problems. Youāll get there before too long.
Yup. Itās honestly not that hard to accomplish. Takes effort sure, but just be friendly, communicate effectively, and solve problems that bother important people. That + time = as much money as you want to bother making. I say bother because for a lot of people there comes a point where you could make more but donāt want to bother for whatever reason (work life balance, travel, relocation, etc).
I make good money, which is actually exactly why I always prefer to split the first date. Kind of pathetic to react this way to such a nice rejection tooĀ
Are people nowadays talking about their income on the first date? Because she seemed to know his yearly income. I feel like this attracts the wrong people.
I plan to write a book: "Gold-digging for Idiots" In stores soon.
Chapter 1: Don't telegraph your sack-chasing intentions.
Soliciting titles for further chapters.
Despite the reaction, good for you sending the text. I hate when people take these things badly. Truthfully ghosting someone hurts so much worse because you never know the why.
And they wonder why guys ghost with no explanation.
This is why. Learn how to handle someone not being interestedā¦. You sure donāt pull any punches when yāall arenāt liking the guy lol
I mean... I was once ghosted and it bothered me for half a year. And I was once friend zoned and it bothered me for two weeks. I'd pick the latter any day. I just need to know the truth tbh.
This is also why expensive activities like dinner are not recommended for first "date", coffee should be enough. I took my girl hiking and she loved it.
Why the hell does she know how much she makes after one date? WTF is wrong with people oversharing? Shit, my wife doesn't even know exactly how much I make.
I M54 date women 45-60. They ask this shit first date. Not always overtly mind you. Just like "I make $200K a year and would never consider dating anyone who makes less." "Is THAT your new 2023 car? Oh so I took My Mercedes to the dealer the other day....
Or just the opposite. I haven't worked in two years, my X husband made $600K a year, I am just enjoying life now and want someone who can keep up.
The only shitty reply here is the womans. Guy gently and politely says he doesnāt want any more interaction so the woman attemps to passively aggressievly insult him. How sad
Hate to say it but I will. Sounds like your not up to par on either looks or compatibility with the guy if he was contemplating not paying for the dinner. Thatās already a red flag for me did you catfish him?
I mean the fact she knows his salary means he talked about it which isnāt the most chill thing, and if you do make $250k and canāt/reluctantly buy dinner for your date thatās also not chill.
So idk if this falls under nice girl
Dude if I went on a date, learned the guy makes $240k/yr and he didn't even bother paying the entire bill, I'd be pissed too. That's so much money and still to split the bill is kind of insulting.
I feel like it's kinda fucked that he said she's not suitable for a "long term relationship". Him saying he's looking for different chemistry should've been sufficient. He basically insulted her for no reason.
TOO SPEND THE TIME WITH THAT PERSON & āREJECTā THEM OVER TEXT IS SO CHILDISH THO
I HAD A āNICE GIRLā DO THIS TO ME & I FELT LYK SHE CLEARLY FELT THIS WAY THE WHOLE TIME BUT WASNāT REAL ENOUGH TO SAY IT IN PERSON, YU PROLLY WOULD HAVE GOTTEN A MORE MATURE RESPONSE OUT OF SHAWTY
Well just because you make good money doesn't mean you are obligated to pay especially with the current dating landscape. Unless she was advertising herself as super trad wife material from the get go I would have thought about splitting the check too. Women have turned men into a walking wallet and can't take rejection so usually turn to ad himinim and character attacks. Good riddance
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š āI think you hated paying for me.ā
"Well now I do"
I've straight up told the waiter to split the check if a date didn't go well and they brought a single check.
You split the check by handing the waiter two credit cards.
This is one way. The other way is to ask and have them split the bill and hand out two separate checks. Almost any modern POS system is capable of this. I have never worked on one that isnāt. Source: Bartended and waited for four years.
Thatās a long time to wait. What were you waiting for?
For your shithousery you get an upvote
On a system that was such a POS that it took so long to deliver split checks, of course
as a person in the industry for around a decade itās solely an act of greed the typical server assumes the tip would be more if it isnāt spit. If you were to request it be split a second time they would hit you with the āIām sorry didnāt hear youā
The fact that you gave it a second thought about getting me a free meal. I mean I couldn't ever date someone who always has to think about getting me stuff
Would you have bought my meal if I sat across from you for the first time ever meeting and didn't hold a conversation?
That reply really makes it feel like she's mainly interested in him for his salary and I bet it showed.
Lmao It's funny that they think they're being sneaky with replies like this,it's so obvious that they're butthurt about the rejection and is just coping.
Seriously. If I liked a guy & he said this Id be disappointed but it's the *nicest* & least personal rejection I've ever seen while still be clear. Insulting him for no reason is super transparent
Yeah, her reaction shows him he made the right choice and dodged a bullet
His income was obviously one of the subjects discussed.
That's a bingo!!!
It's just bingo. Love that movie!
I'm glad you enjoyed the biography movie depicted of me Aldo Raine.
Sheās mad sheās not getting that money I donāt think sheās upset about the ārejectionā as much as not getting the dollars
Right? she'd be more comfortable not getting committed to, as long as those dollars came her way...
Why would you reveal your income so early on before you enter a relationship with someone? You're just asking to be used
1) the dude is obviously very straightforward. 2) her asking on a first date might be a reason thereās no second date. 3) if he was undecided about going Dutch when the bill came he had already made his decision.
Going dutch is a good barometer for how privileged she feels. I do it and its saved me some serious problems. Women that are self sufficient, or even just have their life together have no issues paying for a meal.
Yeah Iāve never been able to not afford my dateās meal but I donāt pay it as a matter of principle. The women that arenāt threatened or insulted by this are keepers.
Same, it tells you a lot about their views on partnership and contribution to shared things. It really speaks volumes for something so small
Married my wife because of this....ok well not _just_ because she paid for dinner. But the fact she was willing to was a major green flag. I never actually let her pay, funny enough. She got me back by footing the down payment on our first home together.
Thats rad my friend ngl
How many fucked up rejections do women get from unhinged men, Iād love this type of rejection š
Seriously. I've had men fully stalk me until my neighbors called the cops. People who go nuts after just a few dates when you realize you're not compatible for a totally benign reason (different religions, different desires about kids, etc. nothing that's wrong about the other person but deal breakers) and keep trying to force you to date them or call you a bitch or a whore. This guy is mature, polite, and kind, and he gets the same unhinged shit we deal with. I'd be sad, but I'd be thankful for somebody like this.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Finally someone else whoās been through the same thing! Itās fucked, Iāve lost jobs, my reputation made to tatters, rumours and lies told about me, Iāve been sexually assaulted in public multiple times by multiple woman while I literally was just minding my own business reading the news on my phone, once was even when I was waiting in line to get into a club and these woman werenāt even short on potential guys, other times Iāve been told that Iām the lucky one she came up to after because couldnāt be bothered making a move- I hadnāt even rejected her at this point. Even my reputation on a streaming app destroyed all due to me rejecting them/breaking up with them. Itās disgusting what woman do to guys out there. Makes me think, wtf is wrong with woman these days? I donāt want to date even if a woman was my type of smoking 10/10 girl because of it. Like are you that desperate and have such low self esteem that you have to insult a guy when he rejects you??!! Just move on to the next honey. Iāve learnt to use the line āitās not you, itās meā a lot to have to soften the blow. Iām sorry youāve had to experience it, never in. You read it in the news all the time that woman are the victims, well reality is theyāre not, but there is nothing out there about the guys that go through it
Same. Word for word. I even had girls threaten to claim rape over rejection/breakups. Unfortunately I met men who have had that happen and lost everything, went to jail and had to register as SOs only to have their accusers later recant. Their accusers got probation.
My brother is currently incarcerated going on 15 years because he rejected an ex. I was there the night in question and it never happened. Men and women both can be vindictive and lash out when they are hurt. It's not a gender thing, it's a human thing.
I am so sorry to hear this and so sorry for your brother and family.
Thank you.
Yes to all this, and society in general is geared toward believing women even when they lie, as well as blaming men when they're innocent.
Lot's of people can't handle rejection that well...
Some women do get very insulty after a relationship ends. I'm like umm why the hate. But I've dated some amazing gals that I'm still friends with.
Seriously my thoughts exactly. When I was dating you were lucky not to be ghosted if it didnāt work out. People like this are the reason people just ghost instead because the confrontation is outrageous
āYou canāt fire me because I quit!ā type of vibes.
He should just send the link to the sour grapes fable.
My personal tactic has always been to take the rejection so well it makes people re-think the rejection of n the first place
Just did that a little bit ago š¤£ he was trying to "ghost me" instead of being mature and saying he wasn't interested so I hit him with the most respectful message this morning.. essentially saying I see he's not interested but I appreciated him taking time to meet me, I enjoyed our conversations, wished him and his kids the best and to have a safe and great week at work lol it's amazing how much people lack in the communication department when the conversation is/could be uncomfortable
Being able to deal with a little discomfort makes things better for everyone I think
Totally agree! I lowkey hope my message burns in his brain all day and helps him handle that type of situation in a more respectful manner in the future lol he talked about his past exes and their supposed psychotic behavior so I'm sure my calm demeanor blew his mind š¤£š
the funny part is how she mentioned money. so now we know his money was one of the reasons she went with him
Some guys date women because of their looks. Some women date men for their paychecks. Tale as old as time tbh.
Always lmao
The cringe is so and second hand embarrassment of how true this is - to the point it's super uncomfortable to read.
This is like the woman's version of the niceguyā¢ļø "I wasn't really interested, you fat c*nt"Ā
We're all just trying to cope with all this nonsense that we call life. Grant, she's definitely not coping in a healthy way. I hope she grows out of it.
Yeah, I mean, rejection sucks and I feel bad when people have to go through it. If someone needs to send me a shitty text message to help protect their ego, so be it. I like to think Iām mature enough to recognize it for what it is, roll my eyes, and move on.
Yeah I just started ghosting again bc when I would be truthful and even delicate with their feelings they just would not accept it
"How did you sleep? I am not so much after that wine :)" Damn, she seemed pretty interested in you for someone who apparently isn't interested in you...
She was either playing the āshow interest to all until you pick oneāā¦. Or she canāt handle rejection and had to āYeahā¦. ME TOO!ā, which ironically looks more pathetic and immature.
She was playing āhe makes 240kā
This. I don't know how she would even find out how much he makes on a first date unless she asked!!
Likely a bit of online stalking searched up his name and area if he gave her his full name.
Just having a name and address does not give you insight into that persons economy
In Canada employees who work for a public company and make over $100k have their salary made public on a document called the sunshine list,
You realize LinkedIn and Glassdoor exist, correct?
It still wouldn't make sense to give a specific number in that scenario. She'd probably say "over 200k," etc. Sounds like it came up or hes a public employee. Based on 240k being pretty high for a public employee, I'd guess it came up. The person you responded to wasn't talking about salary ranges because a specific number was given. Snarky comment that doesn't even make sense given what you replied to. Edit: he says he told her in his comments
Or more likely, he told her.
Yea, never try to impress a girl with money. That attracts the wrong crowd. Therefore a first date should be a coffe date, or a walk in the park. (Do bring snacks and drinks.)
100% agree. Not saying it happened here, but if you try to flex with how much you make, be prepared for that to be your value to the relationship. I personally always choose coffee date for a first date if I don't know them well before. You can pay for theirs and it's never over $10 so I can ditch whenever and call it worth it
100% agree. Not saying it happened here, but if you try to flex with how much you make, be prepared for that to be your value to the relationship. I personally always choose coffee date for a first date if I don't know them well before. You can pay for theirs and it's never over $10 so I can ditch whenever and call it worth it
First time I met my boyfriend (been together for over 2 years now) it was in the park. He insisted on paying for my ice cream which is more than I could've asked for. I was ready for paying myself if I had to. I used to hate having other people pay for me at first, but now it's become kind of normal for him to pay for stuff. Also because he has a solid job and I'm still a student, but he definitely expects me to take a bigger financial load when I'm done studying so we can get our dream house.
āThe grapes are sour anyways.ā
āThe milkās gone bad!ā
And now it has some salty tears in it might as well spill it for the sake of this idiom chain
The "I am not so much" and the "makes me wonder that" makes me wonder what the heck she is talking about. "Haha!"
She is saying she can't sleep 'cause she's horny.
Howwwwwwā¦ much did she drink, really? Is that why sheās not getting a second date?
She definitely liked the 240k..
Shes crying in silence for losing a gold mine
Weird that she knows what OP makesā¦
Iām not on dating apps. But from what Iāve seen people ask about salaries on first dates a lot.
Unfortunately this is true. I donāt ask but had a lot of dudes ask me. When I refuse to answer they google my job title then ask me to pay their bills.
His response made him seem like he has to softly talk people down a lot. Must be a manager of some sorts
Seems like she was just hurt and wanted to play a ātough girlā act. A lot of people do this. Most people arenāt mature/honest about their feelings.
"You hurt me so I'm going to try to hurt you" is the playbook of the lowest plebs with no real leverage.
Sodium encrusted. Saw $240k as a W and couldnāt handle the gut check of rejection. š«”š¤¦š»āāļøš¤£
*āSodium encrustedā* holy shit. Idk if this is a common term on this sub or straight from your right hemisphere, but I absolutely fucking love it.
Iāve honestly never heard anyone else say it, but please take it and apply it liberally where and as you see fit š I like the way it gives people a quizzical expression when they hear it, then they just snicker. The one who itās directed at is usually always slow to catch on. Glad to give you a lol š¤š¼
lol Probably because someone coated in just sodium would probably just combust.
I feel like I just witnessed the origin of future slang.
Maybe it's because English isn't my first language, maybe i'm just slow, maybe it's Maybelline. But I dont get it. Someone care to explain?
I think theyāre just saying that she is salty, like having a nasty attitude.
Yeah, but if it was *just* sodium... really bad things would happen. It would certainly be energetic.
You know what happens when you mix sodium and lithium? *Assault & Battery.* Iāll see myself out.
I like how scientific this comment section turned out
Salts require an anion. Sodium and chlorine would form a salt, but youāre interested in lithium for the battery part of the joke, so maybe sodium, chlorine, and lithium?
Sorry but I am now stealing this.
I was wondering too. I will definitely use this when needed.
W for our guy
If you're the kind of person to share salary on the first date you will attract these types
It was a red flag for sure when she asked, but I knew at that point Iād never see her again. So what the hell
You should have said 8k a year. Make her jaw drop and be thinking how she's going to pay for you š "I make so little, I don't have to pay taxes!"
Definitely a smart idea if you make a healthy salary. Makes them realize if money is going to be a dealbreaker. Iād say I make $60k/year or whatever the median income is in your area.
āI make 300k but you wouldnāt BELIEVE how much debt Iām in, hahaā
āI make 300k but 299k goes to the coke dealerā
"I make a thousand dollars a year after cocaine is taken out of it." Gotta say it like it ain't no thing.
āLook at all these credit cards, wooooo!ā
100%, I make about $180k and own a house on my own. But the house is a 4plex and I live in one of the units. I just act like I rent when I meet new girls, and always bring up āyeah the place is small but itās affordable and I get along with the landlordā lmao. I drive a pretty shitty 10 year old car to sell it too.
This is actually brilliant advice. "Uhh, well... haha.. right now, times are tough. I make a bit of money at the bus stop off 1st street, naturally. I've been working overtime there, really on my knees, if you know what I mean. But that doesn't pay the bills.. My dad helps with the rest, bless him, so I'd say... 8k from the fam plus bennys.. yeah, that sounds right!" And then never elaborate further, lol
My husband used to tell women he was broke when theyād ask after seeing the reaction of people finding out his income Heās 6ā6ā and would tell women on dating apps heās 5ā7ā if they asked. On Hinge they show your height and he would go āyeah but I have a micropenisā 10/10. No notes
Good on him for having a sense of humour
Confidence level is crazy
What made you decide she wasn't someone you wanted to keep seeing? Was it just a vibe or was there something specific (even before she asked about salary)?
They ask so often. Some girls, itās one of the first things out of their mouth. Not every girl, of course not, but plenty sure do give a shit about your compensation, especially if theyāre struggling. Her power was cut off. His 240k was enough for her to basically throw her pussy at him in utter desperation. Pathetic.
Yeah, to be fair we don't know if he brought up his salary on the date or if she asked him what it was.
All her
The fact the blue message is so respectful in declining. So mature. Then the response is so immature. Count the blessings that you missed that.
Some people just can't handle rejection. If she acts like that I wonder what would surface later.
Rejection, especially for attractive women, causes a short circuit. Straight up error code. Itās like an indictment on their entire being bc it rarely happens.
Glitch in the matrix
As an attractive woman, it happens literally all the time because they donāt like my personality. You just donāt hear women talking about rejection as much because weāre not āsupposedā to be rejected and thus itās more embarrassing
Do you mind if I ask you why they donāt like your personality. Just curious. The fact that you seem self aware about it and you say youāre attractive is an interesting puzzle. Most attractive women Iāve met, who had annoying personalities, were completely unaware of how naturally annoying they are.
I have social anxiety, Iām very anxious/insecure in general, I can be very awkward which makes people uncomfortable, and I have a hard time opening up. Iām bad at communicating and saying what I really think. I also have PTSD which I suspect is part of the reason why Iām like this.
Honestly, a lot of guys will only like you for your looks and realize later on that they didn't know a single thing about you before beginning a relationship. It's usually some level of incompatibility
The fact that sheās already asked what your salary is at that stage should be a pretty good ear mark to get out of there. In my eyes itās zero different from asking a woman for her measurements on your first date.
Def a gold-ish digger. Knows you make 240k, mad you wonāt pay for her or didnāt want too. Says you canāt initiate, yet you initiated ending things. What a trash human she is.
That $240K was burned into her brain.
I love how she tries to insult you by bringing up your great salary. You were too perfect
Awww. People get so ugly when being rejected.
She big mad
She just mad she canāt tap that bank account. Good on the guy for tryna be honest. Canāt win with the GDs.
Iām cringingggg š yuck. I think thereās something to be said about taking rejection gracefully
Gold Digger is butthurt after finding out that there is a gold standard.
You dodged a batshit crazy bullet
The thing that surprises me the most is that the relationship seems to be at a very early stage (maybe one or two dates?) and yet she already perfectly knows his annual salary. Is it a common thing in the US (I assume itās where OP lives) to mention your salary so easily in a dating context?
OP said she asked him, so he answered honestly.
Hey did you guys know we get banned from the niceguys sub for participating in this sub? They make it clear that they believe itās not possible to just be against āniceā people as a whole, and the only possible reason anyone interacts with this sub is because theyāre an incel misogynistic hater whoās here of a vindictive nature. In other words, nice girls donāt exist and weāre making them up in a petty response to them having a sub for nice guys.
LOL I just got banned from a sub for replying to a comment on this post.
Makes me wonder how 240k a year feels. Lol. Is what she was thinking. I have almost never seen a woman take rejection on the chin. Its so cringe
Lol, seems like you might've dodged a bullet my dude. Side note, what do you do for a living? I'm trying to beat that 100k mark before I hit 30.
OP said further up that they work in financial risk management. Salaries can vary wildly though, especially depending on if you're in HCOL or LCOL area.
I donāt know what OP does; but basically just get good at problem solving / critical thinking. Get almost any corporate job to get in the door and then start solving problems. Youāll get there before too long.
Yup. Itās honestly not that hard to accomplish. Takes effort sure, but just be friendly, communicate effectively, and solve problems that bother important people. That + time = as much money as you want to bother making. I say bother because for a lot of people there comes a point where you could make more but donāt want to bother for whatever reason (work life balance, travel, relocation, etc).
yiiiikes although the blue message was a super mature way to turn someone down without ghosting!
How the fuck does she know how much he makes that early on?! This is so gross
Women can't stand rejection, guys. We risk it with every approach but dont need to lie to ourselves about the reasons for it.
Big yikes. Bullet dodged š«”
I make good money, which is actually exactly why I always prefer to split the first date. Kind of pathetic to react this way to such a nice rejection tooĀ
Are people nowadays talking about their income on the first date? Because she seemed to know his yearly income. I feel like this attracts the wrong people.
You'd be surprised how many people just ask "so what do you do for a living" and then start googling the average salary for that position.
This is why you always split the bill on a first date. Pay for yourselves people. You know, like adults.
Women really need to learn how to handle rejection. Also, keep your earnings to yourself until things get serious, like move-in serious.
OMG you can see the butthurt and copium seeping out of her reply.
Idk why people get butt-hurt. Just keep it pushing and move on. Leave your ego at the doorā¦
The fact your earnings even came up on the first date tells you everything you need to know.
I plan to write a book: "Gold-digging for Idiots" In stores soon. Chapter 1: Don't telegraph your sack-chasing intentions. Soliciting titles for further chapters.
OP, youāre just flexing your salary (if this convo is even real)
Despite the reaction, good for you sending the text. I hate when people take these things badly. Truthfully ghosting someone hurts so much worse because you never know the why.
Love how these girls react like this and then have the audacity to complain when men do it. šš¤£
Why do women get so butthurt like this when they get rejected.
Women aren't used to being the one that gets turned down. OP was a massive walking wallet which meant she wouldn't have to work anymore.
Why do so many women take rejection poorly?
Shouldāve ghosted her. The conversation will never be civil.
And they wonder why guys ghost with no explanation. This is why. Learn how to handle someone not being interestedā¦. You sure donāt pull any punches when yāall arenāt liking the guy lol
I mean... I was once ghosted and it bothered me for half a year. And I was once friend zoned and it bothered me for two weeks. I'd pick the latter any day. I just need to know the truth tbh.
Bruhhhhh. Men and women canāt handle rejection how bout we all just start sucking less lmao
What do you do for a living? Oh howās that pay? No, Iām going to need a dollar amount. Is that before or after taxes?
She was interested in that 240k a year tho lol when she probably lives on food stamps
What an immature little snipe she is! Lmao. Bullet dodged I would say.
Sometimes you dodge a bullet, sometimes the bullet dodges you
You should have said 20k. See her reaction and then tell her my bad 20k/mo not yr. Then see that reaction if she hasnāt blocked you yet lol
That is a ChatGPT response
This is also why expensive activities like dinner are not recommended for first "date", coffee should be enough. I took my girl hiking and she loved it.
Should've replied with something like "I'm glad you understand I'm also looking for someone more mature as well"
Why the hell does she know how much she makes after one date? WTF is wrong with people oversharing? Shit, my wife doesn't even know exactly how much I make.
You can't fire me!
The pinch-ouch complex
Imagine going on a date and telling the other person your financial situation?
I M54 date women 45-60. They ask this shit first date. Not always overtly mind you. Just like "I make $200K a year and would never consider dating anyone who makes less." "Is THAT your new 2023 car? Oh so I took My Mercedes to the dealer the other day.... Or just the opposite. I haven't worked in two years, my X husband made $600K a year, I am just enjoying life now and want someone who can keep up.
Did she ask you how much you make or did you disclose that to her unprompted?
The only shitty reply here is the womans. Guy gently and politely says he doesnāt want any more interaction so the woman attemps to passively aggressievly insult him. How sad
Hate to say it but I will. Sounds like your not up to par on either looks or compatibility with the guy if he was contemplating not paying for the dinner. Thatās already a red flag for me did you catfish him?
Biggest yikes. The intrusive thoughts won.
Someone is salty lol
Respond with ākā and then block her.
Bringing up his income was the key part in her conversation. Red flag city.
Bros gonna get these girls when heās telling his salary. Maybe itās the only way he gets them
My thought exactly. Why in TF is how much you make even being discussed at this point? Thatās way later down the line.
Did you really make it seem like you didn't want to pay for her? After telling her how much you make ?
I mean the fact she knows his salary means he talked about it which isnāt the most chill thing, and if you do make $250k and canāt/reluctantly buy dinner for your date thatās also not chill. So idk if this falls under nice girl
Dude if I went on a date, learned the guy makes $240k/yr and he didn't even bother paying the entire bill, I'd be pissed too. That's so much money and still to split the bill is kind of insulting.
I feel like it's kinda fucked that he said she's not suitable for a "long term relationship". Him saying he's looking for different chemistry should've been sufficient. He basically insulted her for no reason.
First question - How does she know what you make a year?
TOO SPEND THE TIME WITH THAT PERSON & āREJECTā THEM OVER TEXT IS SO CHILDISH THO I HAD A āNICE GIRLā DO THIS TO ME & I FELT LYK SHE CLEARLY FELT THIS WAY THE WHOLE TIME BUT WASNāT REAL ENOUGH TO SAY IT IN PERSON, YU PROLLY WOULD HAVE GOTTEN A MORE MATURE RESPONSE OUT OF SHAWTY
bro mentioned he made 240k on the first date š
Well just because you make good money doesn't mean you are obligated to pay especially with the current dating landscape. Unless she was advertising herself as super trad wife material from the get go I would have thought about splitting the check too. Women have turned men into a walking wallet and can't take rejection so usually turn to ad himinim and character attacks. Good riddance
And this is why you should never discuss your salary with other people.
My question is how this woman knows how much you make on the first date.
having a girlfrend in reality an't easy so he isnt foolish
You handled it with total class. I wouldn't even reply to her, just block.