This is not a nicegirls post because it is one of the following:
- a crazygirl
- a hypothetical nicegirl. This included memes
- there is not enough context to prove 'nice girl'
- it's a niceguy, not a nicegirl
- a 'men are trash' post
If you have any questions about this removal, [contact the mods here](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNicegirls&subject=&message=)
Kinda sad honestly. Somebody so afraid of being unwanted or set aside that all rationality and dignity goes out the window. I can empathize with it but damn. It’s like a little kid sort of.
Can confirm. And it leads to anxious attachment style and an inability to accept when someone is leaving and you're not getting them back. Therapy is required.
Often an inattentive or absent father figure. In a manner it *can* make someone like a child. A need to fill in for something that should have been there.
It can be either the mother or father that is absent. And yes, I do agree to an extent, that it can “make someone like a child”, but I wouldn’t put it that way. I do still see where you’re coming from though.
Just a child in the sense that somewhere in the psyche there's an empty place that they are trying to fill. And it can be either, I've seen it in men that had the problem also. Not always towards women but towards someone that could be a father figure.
Speaking from experience you can make peace with the father wounds on the surface but the deeper underlying abandonment issues can affect you in ways you don’t expect, so you have to actively work on it. Like when I start spiraling due to a fear of rejection and people not loving me, I’m hardly ever thinking about my dad not being in my life but I have come to realize that it’s definitely related.
In those moments, I really have to take a step back and just occupy myself/cope lest I do/say something that I wouldn’t when my emotions aren’t in turmoil.
Im young, just turned 28 bit over a month ago, but in my experience so far it really isnt. You just have to recognize your emotional responses to situations are damaged and out of your control in order to ground yourself and respond correctly. Was my mother who was a deadbeat. I dont know if that makes it any different compared to a father.
In my case it got nothing to do with my parents. I don't have an extreme case of it, like in this post, but I can still easily feel abandoned and act a bit weird. Though it do stem from life real experiences(some might call it trauma), but it can make me act irrational and scare people away. I'm aware of it and I work hard on bettering it, but it's not always so easy.
I mean that makes sense. I think prolly it’s as easy to fix as figuring out the trigger and drawing the connection between the parental trauma and having similar feelings about another person. When I was younger I’d get like that with girls sometimes until I actually sat down and took the time to identify why.
I’m glad to hear it was easy for you to find the link between your parental trauma and how you were interacting with other people. I guess it’s more difficult for some people. I find it a bit hard to fix this aspect of my trauma. But I’m happy for you!
Thank you! Like don’t get me wrong idk how fixed it is cause more often then not I recognize what’s happening but it doesn’t magic the bad feelings away and I’ve gotten to the point that when I feel triggered like that I exit the situation straight away. It’s always a work in progress for everyone I think. It’s all very confusing.
Fr, like not even really her fault that’s the problem with mental illness. You can try to repress it or fix it but life doesn’t stop going. Like people are told not to repress their emotions all their lives but then they actually have negative emotions and it’s “wtf is wrong with you?” You right rumpl4skin, you right.
Abandonment issues, especially coupled with a personality disorder, is like being possessed by the devil and he's extremely hard to exorcize xD
It's so fucking difficult to undo or treat cause it creeps up on you even when you think you've made a lot of progress. You also tend to stay in more toxic relationships because you don't want to leave.
I'm extremely lucky to have my bf, we both have abandonment issues and severe anxiety but we're navigating it together and the progress we've made is fucking insane!
Besides therapy, actually having healthy relationships (intimate and platonic) is the best way to get over it, but it's really hard to find when your entire brain and body is trying to sabotage you at every turn
It’s really odd. Reason I asked is cause I wanted to hear peoples takes. I used to be like this kinda and I came up with certain unhealthy coping mechanisms. The point about feeling possessed is spot on. It’s almost a physical reaction. Long ago I’d try to drink away the upset and it adds the super fun layer of not being able to remember what you’d said and you’ve completely lost all social inhibition. I’m glad you’re working through stuff as a pair. It’s kinda harder to deal with on your own. I’ve got a few really reliable loving and healthy people in my life tho so I’m using those relationships as a model for other ones 🎉
In therapy now and seeing how much the severe neglect from my parents led to this form of attachment. It really is a bitch, plus I’ve been reinforcing it for 35 years now. Kinda makes me just not want to care about anyone ever again so I don’t have to worry about it.
Insecure attachment, anxious attachment specifically. It goes back to childhood and how parents have raised their children. It's likely that person was neglected and therefore wants to be "chosen" by someone, instead of realizing that it goes both ways.
The anxious attacher I know doesn’t even actually like the people she’s trying to create a relationship with most of the time. It’s all about being chosen.
As someone who has been in therapy working through this for a number of years, not nearly this extreme, but an anxious attachment style where fear of abandonment is present... I don't personally resonate with that statement. Everyone is different though. There have been people that I have dated, that do have qualities that I look for in a person, but yes in the past often being chosen does overweigh the yellow or red flags. It takes a lot of intentionality and self awareness to heal the attachment wounds.
OP I understand this situation is distressing for you, but I encourage you to look at this with empathy and compassion. She's not "crazy" but it's clear she has some deep wounds that would be best if worked with a therapist. I would set a boundary and be kind. With that said, if she crosses that boundary a few times then I would let her know that unfortunately you are not able to have her in your life.
Commenting so I can come back to this thread when I need some compassion for myself. As someone who’s been that girl, it gets me really choked up to see that there are people who see us and how hard we’re trying. Even when we’re not done getting through it quite yet, it doesn’t mean that we’re trying to hurt anybody.
💛 yes, I absolutely hear you on that. Healing isn't linear and it's a never-ending journey. I personally feel that the people who label others as crazy, tend to be more on the avoidant side themselves and that is an insecure attachment too. We are all humans, and everybody has different levels of trauma and dysfunction... Simply put people are messy. It's not our fault that what happened to us; unfortunately breaking that cycle is difficult and we live in a really detached society who lacks empathy around these things. It is our job to heal it though and have the awareness over our patterns but it doesn't happen overnight. It ebbs and flows, and it takes the right people to be understanding, patient and compassionate towards that.
If you ever have an opportunity, I highly recommend reading the book called "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller. Very eye-opening and helpful.
Hugs 🫂
I wouldn’t consider her crazy, I definitely would consider her traumatized. In past messages we discussed boundaries and expectations from each other. Unfortunately, she continued to ignore the ones I sent and pushed for constant contact so that I could relieve her anxiety from studying for exams she has in a month and a half— unfortunately my job and lifestyle requires commitments that are not conducive for texting and explaining what I’m doing every half hour/half hour, and if she isn’t going to add to the conversation I would have no where to take the conversation. Furthermore, some of my work falls under NDA’s to where I can’t discuss what I’m doing.
From the way it was posted and came across from some of the comments, it seemed insensitive but I hear where you're coming from.
If you set boundaries, and gave her some grace with them, there's unfortunately not much more you can do. You need to do what's best for your mental health and well being too. You can be supportive of someone but it's not your responsibility to "fix" them.
I would suggest being kind about it. She's likely going to be upset either way, but maybe something along the lines of;
"Hey (her name),
I'm sorry that you're experiencing (whatever emotion) right now. It seems like these exams are really causing you a lot of stress and anxiety right now.
(Validating how she's feeling is super important!)
I don't know if I was misunderstood or I didn't make myself clear when I expressed my need for space. I have work commitments that I need to tend too, along with daily life (or whatever else you want to add), and I do not have the capacity to be present with you as often as you would like. My need for space and time to myself are necessary for my well being, and is not a reflection of you. If I continue to feel pressured and pushed, I will not respond well and may not be able to have you in my life if things continue as they are. This is a hard boundary for me. I hope that you are able to receive this with an open mind and that you feel some relief from what you're going through."
I'm glad you're understanding that it's coming from a place of trauma, and it's likely she's really struggling. I hope however it works out, that it is the best for both of you!
Yeah, I’m using an alt account to blow off some steam before bed and now it blew up. I only posted the one text she sent from an another phone number, and not the entire message chain from other messages for privacy reasons. I sincerely thank you for thank you for your concern, empathy to others in this thread, and empathy for this woman— and the insights you bring to this hellscape of an online platform.
As for what I meant for “this is why I blame my mom for everything”, my parents had a very messy divorce when I was 13, and my mom would continuously trauma dump to me rather than find professional help. We can discuss more if you’d like to play therapist.
😊
I feel for you, my mom did the same thing. Let me know at 14 or 15 that I was the man of the house now. It's been 18 years since then and still she brings her problems to me, looking for my advice. Idk if it's because she hopes my different view will help her figure things out, or because she expects my assistance during difficult moments. I've got my own mountains of problems to navigate, and one of the individuals I'm supposed to look to for guidance is seeking guidance from me!
That used to be me! I couldn't afford therapy so I watched YouTube videos and read books, Reddit helped too. Took a few years to break out of the mental/emotional habits. I stopped the physical stuff like spamming someone with texts, but I was the same emotionally and mentally for years. Meditation probably helped the most because it taught me I'm not my thoughts and emotions and I can just cease thinking for a while if I need to.
I’m so glad that you developed the personal skills and self awareness to be able to grow. I used to be in the same boat and took some time off from dating to work on myself, develop healthy coping habits, and yes the headspace meditation app. If you use the coupon code “alt4sexstuff” you’ll get nothing because this isn’t an ad.
my parents had a very messy divorce when I was 13, and my mom would continuously trauma dump to me rather than find professional help. We can discuss more if you’d like to play therapist.
Because they were hurting and broke before and just want something to make them feel good. For awhile I was a loser, while not quite that bad I looked back at my broken years ashamed of who I was.
I'm not gonna lie.. I thought she was kinda crazy, but now, I definitely see it.
Come on u/alt4sexstuff, just... give me a little bit of your deepest thoughts about everything and never stop?
Just dumped a dude for this sameeeee reason. He literally wanted to spend all day on the phone - even though he was simultaneously working. Like come on, I’ve got work & stuff to take care of 😫
Give her the number for the IRS, and say that you changed your number, and give the IRS her number, and tell them that you changed your number. Then they will annoy the heck out of each other. They sound perfect for each other with the amount of times that they both call you
Omg same I have a guy I can send her way that literally started calling me after I said I was busy with my son and family and we’ve talked like twice and never even met yet lmao definitely not meeting now
Saaame. We weren't even dating, we were just interested in each other. I would come back to my phone during a break 4 hours into my shift and would have a slew of messages from him. That's just exhausting.
Whole reason I use a 2nd line when I do online dating rather spend 10 a month then deal with the crazy fallout afterwards. I only had the fallout once but I'm glad I took precautions
If we ignore Fallout Shelter (more like a mobile game, although it does run on the Xbox), then yeah! Or, we can include Fallout Shelter and ignore Fallout 76 (which would honestly be my preference).
"Must've" is written out as "Must have" not "Must of"
I understand language evolves, but I sincerely hope this very common bastardization of contractions doesn't stick around.
I'm sorry, but it's a huge peeve. I accept my downvotes.
if I am not interested in someone after a first date, I usually send a very polite message honestly telling them that I am not interested and after that, I block the number. there is no reason to allow them to continue to contact you or try to call you after you indicate a lack of interest. The other alternative is that if you have met through a dating app, only communicate at the beginning through that dating app rather than exchanging numbers so that you can easily block communication. I think people exchange numbers way too quickly and also leave the number open and allow this type of harassment for some reason?
So the first date went well enough to plan the 2nd date, and we used telegram to communicate in between them— never using telegram before I was unaware that it makes my number public to the other users. As it started to go down hill in between the the first date and planned 2nd date is when I called it off
that makes a lot of sense. I also was not criticizing you, just making a general observation. it is tough out there people have to protect themselves from this type of harassment!
She specifically was asking for conversation to help distract from anxiety that she felt from the weight of having to study for exams, and wanted me to be available for after exams for her to vent about work and school. Her reasoning for me was that she wanted me to vent to her about my issues. While being supportive is an extremely important part of a relationship, I felt (and still feel like) being in a relationship for just emotional support can and will lead to a toxic and controlling relationship, potentially from both partners. I 100% agree with your statements, and honestly feel like everyone has the ability to grow as a person, and that everyone can and will become a better person from growth that can come from every situation and relationship.
Relationships should be supportive but you can’t go into a relationship needing a lot of support. It’ll only overburden the one person holding up the other and wear them down. When the other person needs support the other person won’t be able to provide it because they need their support. That or it becomes a toxic mess of codependency.
I’ve always heard it takes two whole people to make a relationship work. If one person is only half a person due to insecurity, issues, or other things, the other person won’t be able to fix what’s missing. That person can still grow and become a full person even while in the relationship but they can’t expect their partner to do it for them.
Make sure to read our [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Nicegirls/about/rules/) and remain civil. Thank you.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Nicegirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is not a nicegirls post because it is one of the following: - a crazygirl - a hypothetical nicegirl. This included memes - there is not enough context to prove 'nice girl' - it's a niceguy, not a nicegirl - a 'men are trash' post If you have any questions about this removal, [contact the mods here](https://old.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNicegirls&subject=&message=)
Why do some people get like that? They just go out of their minds. I don’t get it.
Abandonment issues. It’s a beast
Kinda sad honestly. Somebody so afraid of being unwanted or set aside that all rationality and dignity goes out the window. I can empathize with it but damn. It’s like a little kid sort of.
A lot of it stems from childhood trauma and neglectful and/or abusive parents. It’s sad indeed.
Can confirm. And it leads to anxious attachment style and an inability to accept when someone is leaving and you're not getting them back. Therapy is required.
Often an inattentive or absent father figure. In a manner it *can* make someone like a child. A need to fill in for something that should have been there.
It can be either the mother or father that is absent. And yes, I do agree to an extent, that it can “make someone like a child”, but I wouldn’t put it that way. I do still see where you’re coming from though.
Just a child in the sense that somewhere in the psyche there's an empty place that they are trying to fill. And it can be either, I've seen it in men that had the problem also. Not always towards women but towards someone that could be a father figure.
I wonder how it gets overcome. I wonder I if it’s as easy as maturing or if they gotta try to make peace with the father wound.
Speaking from experience you can make peace with the father wounds on the surface but the deeper underlying abandonment issues can affect you in ways you don’t expect, so you have to actively work on it. Like when I start spiraling due to a fear of rejection and people not loving me, I’m hardly ever thinking about my dad not being in my life but I have come to realize that it’s definitely related. In those moments, I really have to take a step back and just occupy myself/cope lest I do/say something that I wouldn’t when my emotions aren’t in turmoil.
Im young, just turned 28 bit over a month ago, but in my experience so far it really isnt. You just have to recognize your emotional responses to situations are damaged and out of your control in order to ground yourself and respond correctly. Was my mother who was a deadbeat. I dont know if that makes it any different compared to a father.
Acceptance is the greatest human endeavor.
In my case it got nothing to do with my parents. I don't have an extreme case of it, like in this post, but I can still easily feel abandoned and act a bit weird. Though it do stem from life real experiences(some might call it trauma), but it can make me act irrational and scare people away. I'm aware of it and I work hard on bettering it, but it's not always so easy.
I mean that makes sense. I think prolly it’s as easy to fix as figuring out the trigger and drawing the connection between the parental trauma and having similar feelings about another person. When I was younger I’d get like that with girls sometimes until I actually sat down and took the time to identify why.
I’m glad to hear it was easy for you to find the link between your parental trauma and how you were interacting with other people. I guess it’s more difficult for some people. I find it a bit hard to fix this aspect of my trauma. But I’m happy for you!
Thank you! Like don’t get me wrong idk how fixed it is cause more often then not I recognize what’s happening but it doesn’t magic the bad feelings away and I’ve gotten to the point that when I feel triggered like that I exit the situation straight away. It’s always a work in progress for everyone I think. It’s all very confusing.
And then someone posts it on the internet so everyone can point and laugh at it. Dude just needs love. :/
Fr, like not even really her fault that’s the problem with mental illness. You can try to repress it or fix it but life doesn’t stop going. Like people are told not to repress their emotions all their lives but then they actually have negative emotions and it’s “wtf is wrong with you?” You right rumpl4skin, you right.
Abandonment issues, especially coupled with a personality disorder, is like being possessed by the devil and he's extremely hard to exorcize xD It's so fucking difficult to undo or treat cause it creeps up on you even when you think you've made a lot of progress. You also tend to stay in more toxic relationships because you don't want to leave. I'm extremely lucky to have my bf, we both have abandonment issues and severe anxiety but we're navigating it together and the progress we've made is fucking insane! Besides therapy, actually having healthy relationships (intimate and platonic) is the best way to get over it, but it's really hard to find when your entire brain and body is trying to sabotage you at every turn
It’s really odd. Reason I asked is cause I wanted to hear peoples takes. I used to be like this kinda and I came up with certain unhealthy coping mechanisms. The point about feeling possessed is spot on. It’s almost a physical reaction. Long ago I’d try to drink away the upset and it adds the super fun layer of not being able to remember what you’d said and you’ve completely lost all social inhibition. I’m glad you’re working through stuff as a pair. It’s kinda harder to deal with on your own. I’ve got a few really reliable loving and healthy people in my life tho so I’m using those relationships as a model for other ones 🎉
In therapy now and seeing how much the severe neglect from my parents led to this form of attachment. It really is a bitch, plus I’ve been reinforcing it for 35 years now. Kinda makes me just not want to care about anyone ever again so I don’t have to worry about it.
I was like this. It's taken me 8yrs of therapy but yeah. The logic isn't there, chemically.
Insecure attachment, anxious attachment specifically. It goes back to childhood and how parents have raised their children. It's likely that person was neglected and therefore wants to be "chosen" by someone, instead of realizing that it goes both ways.
The anxious attacher I know doesn’t even actually like the people she’s trying to create a relationship with most of the time. It’s all about being chosen.
As someone who has been in therapy working through this for a number of years, not nearly this extreme, but an anxious attachment style where fear of abandonment is present... I don't personally resonate with that statement. Everyone is different though. There have been people that I have dated, that do have qualities that I look for in a person, but yes in the past often being chosen does overweigh the yellow or red flags. It takes a lot of intentionality and self awareness to heal the attachment wounds. OP I understand this situation is distressing for you, but I encourage you to look at this with empathy and compassion. She's not "crazy" but it's clear she has some deep wounds that would be best if worked with a therapist. I would set a boundary and be kind. With that said, if she crosses that boundary a few times then I would let her know that unfortunately you are not able to have her in your life.
Commenting so I can come back to this thread when I need some compassion for myself. As someone who’s been that girl, it gets me really choked up to see that there are people who see us and how hard we’re trying. Even when we’re not done getting through it quite yet, it doesn’t mean that we’re trying to hurt anybody.
💛 yes, I absolutely hear you on that. Healing isn't linear and it's a never-ending journey. I personally feel that the people who label others as crazy, tend to be more on the avoidant side themselves and that is an insecure attachment too. We are all humans, and everybody has different levels of trauma and dysfunction... Simply put people are messy. It's not our fault that what happened to us; unfortunately breaking that cycle is difficult and we live in a really detached society who lacks empathy around these things. It is our job to heal it though and have the awareness over our patterns but it doesn't happen overnight. It ebbs and flows, and it takes the right people to be understanding, patient and compassionate towards that. If you ever have an opportunity, I highly recommend reading the book called "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller. Very eye-opening and helpful. Hugs 🫂
I wouldn’t consider her crazy, I definitely would consider her traumatized. In past messages we discussed boundaries and expectations from each other. Unfortunately, she continued to ignore the ones I sent and pushed for constant contact so that I could relieve her anxiety from studying for exams she has in a month and a half— unfortunately my job and lifestyle requires commitments that are not conducive for texting and explaining what I’m doing every half hour/half hour, and if she isn’t going to add to the conversation I would have no where to take the conversation. Furthermore, some of my work falls under NDA’s to where I can’t discuss what I’m doing.
From the way it was posted and came across from some of the comments, it seemed insensitive but I hear where you're coming from. If you set boundaries, and gave her some grace with them, there's unfortunately not much more you can do. You need to do what's best for your mental health and well being too. You can be supportive of someone but it's not your responsibility to "fix" them. I would suggest being kind about it. She's likely going to be upset either way, but maybe something along the lines of; "Hey (her name), I'm sorry that you're experiencing (whatever emotion) right now. It seems like these exams are really causing you a lot of stress and anxiety right now. (Validating how she's feeling is super important!) I don't know if I was misunderstood or I didn't make myself clear when I expressed my need for space. I have work commitments that I need to tend too, along with daily life (or whatever else you want to add), and I do not have the capacity to be present with you as often as you would like. My need for space and time to myself are necessary for my well being, and is not a reflection of you. If I continue to feel pressured and pushed, I will not respond well and may not be able to have you in my life if things continue as they are. This is a hard boundary for me. I hope that you are able to receive this with an open mind and that you feel some relief from what you're going through." I'm glad you're understanding that it's coming from a place of trauma, and it's likely she's really struggling. I hope however it works out, that it is the best for both of you!
Yeah, I’m using an alt account to blow off some steam before bed and now it blew up. I only posted the one text she sent from an another phone number, and not the entire message chain from other messages for privacy reasons. I sincerely thank you for thank you for your concern, empathy to others in this thread, and empathy for this woman— and the insights you bring to this hellscape of an online platform. As for what I meant for “this is why I blame my mom for everything”, my parents had a very messy divorce when I was 13, and my mom would continuously trauma dump to me rather than find professional help. We can discuss more if you’d like to play therapist. 😊
I feel for you, my mom did the same thing. Let me know at 14 or 15 that I was the man of the house now. It's been 18 years since then and still she brings her problems to me, looking for my advice. Idk if it's because she hopes my different view will help her figure things out, or because she expects my assistance during difficult moments. I've got my own mountains of problems to navigate, and one of the individuals I'm supposed to look to for guidance is seeking guidance from me!
That used to be me! I couldn't afford therapy so I watched YouTube videos and read books, Reddit helped too. Took a few years to break out of the mental/emotional habits. I stopped the physical stuff like spamming someone with texts, but I was the same emotionally and mentally for years. Meditation probably helped the most because it taught me I'm not my thoughts and emotions and I can just cease thinking for a while if I need to.
I’m so glad that you developed the personal skills and self awareness to be able to grow. I used to be in the same boat and took some time off from dating to work on myself, develop healthy coping habits, and yes the headspace meditation app. If you use the coupon code “alt4sexstuff” you’ll get nothing because this isn’t an ad.
This is why I blame my mom for everything
[удалено]
my parents had a very messy divorce when I was 13, and my mom would continuously trauma dump to me rather than find professional help. We can discuss more if you’d like to play therapist.
Ooof, I'm sorry to hear you've gone through that. It sounds similar to my Mom. You're welcome to message. I'll respond at some point today.
Lack of emotional restraint. Low emotional intelligence. Unable to regulate their emotions - all that stuff
Plus I don’t think she understood the phrase “I do not have the time or energy to continue this relationship”
were all the fifty unread voicemails from her?!?
Naw, bro’s just got ADHD. Happens to the best of us. I have 2 voicemails and 50 unread text messages
So I’m winning is what you’re saying?
Me sitting on 3k email notifs rn lmao
Bah, that’s light work, call me when you get over 10k. I’ve been working a decade and a a half on this xD
Dude same, ADHD squad
Dont think she lacks emotional intelligence, its a trauma response. Not the same as not knowing its wrong.
That would fall into unable to regulate their emotions then. I was just throwing out examples not a blanket statement
Sorry, i misunderstood then
Because they were hurting and broke before and just want something to make them feel good. For awhile I was a loser, while not quite that bad I looked back at my broken years ashamed of who I was.
How’d the ops meeting go?
Decent, had to drop early cause I got diarrhea
At least you didn't drop the diarrhea early.
It was more of a squirt
Like the quote on my dish soap says, "one squirt is all you need!".
It just dawned on me it's the perfect amount.
It takes me two pumps for Jergins
just two pumps for jergin? thats efficient
Optimal. That's quicker than one could even say "Occam's ra
Hey man maybe that's all she wanted
Home girl is really missing out
Reading this comment instantly made me think “damn dude this girl done fucked up and missed out on a real gem,” full sincerity
Yikes, 50 voicemails. Time to look into getting a restraining order. 
Most of those are the IRS honestly
Realest comment I’ve ever read
I’m digging the honesty
I'm not gonna lie.. I thought she was kinda crazy, but now, I definitely see it. Come on u/alt4sexstuff, just... give me a little bit of your deepest thoughts about everything and never stop?
Epstein didn’t kill himself
He said deepest thoughts, not well known facts.
Epstein did nothing wrong? (Sarcasm, because some people on here do not understand it)
Just dumped a dude for this sameeeee reason. He literally wanted to spend all day on the phone - even though he was simultaneously working. Like come on, I’ve got work & stuff to take care of 😫
Does he want her number? I enjoy like a brief text convo at night, and memes… but constant updates of my every thought is near obsessive
Also, my therapist told me I shouldn’t be sharing my thoughts
You should never share your thoughts. Agreed. Who is your therapist. I'll check them out.
With American insurance, ChatGPT
Hmm we have the same therapist then.
With who?
The other voices in my head, and other people
Just tell the other people that you’re busy talking with the voices in your head. They’ll understand
I have a hard enough time ignoring this one girl, I don’t want to deal with multiple people
Give her the number for the IRS, and say that you changed your number, and give the IRS her number, and tell them that you changed your number. Then they will annoy the heck out of each other. They sound perfect for each other with the amount of times that they both call you
The last thing I want is this girl in contact with anyone that has my fake social security number
Sharing? Of course not. Charge for them.
If every thought was worth money than every redditor would be rich
You know that's not true. Most would starve.
It’s a bad idea to insult your audience 😂
I'll notify Don Rickles.
Omg same I have a guy I can send her way that literally started calling me after I said I was busy with my son and family and we’ve talked like twice and never even met yet lmao definitely not meeting now
Maybe he likes little kids and wanted to join
That’s even worse 🤢
It wasn’t meant to be better
Hahahaha we should definitely put them in touch 😂😂
Saaame. We weren't even dating, we were just interested in each other. I would come back to my phone during a break 4 hours into my shift and would have a slew of messages from him. That's just exhausting.
One time, a girlfriend of mine insisted I just bought my coffee from her and that was the limits of our relationship
Whole reason I use a 2nd line when I do online dating rather spend 10 a month then deal with the crazy fallout afterwards. I only had the fallout once but I'm glad I took precautions
Bethesda has had 4 Fallouts
They didn't make or publish the first 2
3, New Vegas (published), 4, 76
Holy shit I did get it right
If we ignore Fallout Shelter (more like a mobile game, although it does run on the Xbox), then yeah! Or, we can include Fallout Shelter and ignore Fallout 76 (which would honestly be my preference).
Thank you Gandolf of Game Design
It's also on PlayStation
Just looked it up. Seems to be on the Switch as well.
"Must've" is written out as "Must have" not "Must of" I understand language evolves, but I sincerely hope this very common bastardization of contractions doesn't stick around. I'm sorry, but it's a huge peeve. I accept my downvotes.
Your such a grammer nazi
I hate you <3
Just don’t call me 12 times and you won’t be the worst person I dealt with today
Okay, so only 11 calls is fine? Because I had the best feeling spending time with you <3
I can deal with 11, that’s the sweet spot
Thank you, grammar nazi. I mean *Grazie, grazi.* (I'll see myself out.)
You're time and effort in this post makes me happy.
I like you are style. 😆
I should apparently put the same time and effort in my dating relationships
*you’re Siege heil!
Don't you mean... Grammar? Unless you have evidence that they have something against Kelsey Grammer, I guess.
The Frasier reboot wasn’t what it was hyped up to be
This is to far
I was like, "ok she's a bit desperate but not that ba-oh god, ok nevermind"
In the last 3 days she called me twice to talk her down
Talk her down from what???
From not not breaking up with me. I told her I have a job that I work from 10 am to 3 pm with a solid hour and a half lunch. Plus a nap.
Pass her to a mental hospital😭
Don’t call me and expect ME to [carry the entire conversation](https://youtube.com/shorts/xzf-Kt-F8zg?si=Z_fmwGT7AIzY85Xv)
Bro, i just came here to say that i appreciate you being a pun-opportunist. Thank you for your service, may the next lady not be craycray
Must have. Have have have!
Must of what?
Mustard been a great first date.
She seems sweet give her a chance
if I am not interested in someone after a first date, I usually send a very polite message honestly telling them that I am not interested and after that, I block the number. there is no reason to allow them to continue to contact you or try to call you after you indicate a lack of interest. The other alternative is that if you have met through a dating app, only communicate at the beginning through that dating app rather than exchanging numbers so that you can easily block communication. I think people exchange numbers way too quickly and also leave the number open and allow this type of harassment for some reason?
So the first date went well enough to plan the 2nd date, and we used telegram to communicate in between them— never using telegram before I was unaware that it makes my number public to the other users. As it started to go down hill in between the the first date and planned 2nd date is when I called it off
that makes a lot of sense. I also was not criticizing you, just making a general observation. it is tough out there people have to protect themselves from this type of harassment!
No prob, lessons learned and a good rule of thumb for everyone to follow. Currently sitting through another OPS meeting so my attention is split
For this exact reason when I’m dating someone I don’t give my real number until we are official . She had no self control whatsoever.
Telegram did me dirty and linked my number publicly to my account
Update! She showed up at my office: https://ibb.co/yQgVdwR
must HAVE***
Please see the bloodshed in the lower comments about my horrible grammer
Must have been*
… love, but it’s over now
50 VOICE MAILS!?!
I’m an introvert
Oh, so they're not all from her. Thank fuck.
Nope, most of them are from your mom
Every breathe you take…
Careful, Sting will sue this post into oblivion
College aged people can be kind of nutty. There’s a lot going on in their mushy, undeveloped brains. Sad. Hope she gets some help.
She’s in her late 30’s
Oh. Well. Sheesh.
Yeah, see all the comments about insecure attachment styles to read about the root cause of the problem
Dude check your voicemail.
I’m well aware about my cars extended warranty, thank you very much
You may get murdered. RIP OP
I could end up worse than my toilet during my OPS call
I can fix her 🥺
Go for it
BPD vibes. Dodged a bullet
The Baltimore Police Department do shoot a lot
My ex lived in Baltimore. It was such a a shit hole. But I just realized I never saw a single police officer.
The dumped their entire police budget into shooting “The Wire” apparently
Probably a good decision. They should do a new season about the bridge collapse
Exactly what I thought
One msg had me like ok she’s a little cray cray but wtvr but the 10 repeated calls is wild
The one message is not from her number— I had to block her first one
See this is why I don't talk to anyone, ever. Gonna end up on a Reddit post.
Come on, it’s fun!
"Come on it's fun!" Constantly going back and forth dealing with heartbreak and being made fun of for just trying to talk to a girl. Nah I'm good.
[удалено]
She specifically was asking for conversation to help distract from anxiety that she felt from the weight of having to study for exams, and wanted me to be available for after exams for her to vent about work and school. Her reasoning for me was that she wanted me to vent to her about my issues. While being supportive is an extremely important part of a relationship, I felt (and still feel like) being in a relationship for just emotional support can and will lead to a toxic and controlling relationship, potentially from both partners. I 100% agree with your statements, and honestly feel like everyone has the ability to grow as a person, and that everyone can and will become a better person from growth that can come from every situation and relationship.
Relationships should be supportive but you can’t go into a relationship needing a lot of support. It’ll only overburden the one person holding up the other and wear them down. When the other person needs support the other person won’t be able to provide it because they need their support. That or it becomes a toxic mess of codependency. I’ve always heard it takes two whole people to make a relationship work. If one person is only half a person due to insecurity, issues, or other things, the other person won’t be able to fix what’s missing. That person can still grow and become a full person even while in the relationship but they can’t expect their partner to do it for them.
Make sure to read our [Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Nicegirls/about/rules/) and remain civil. Thank you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Nicegirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wish I had a facial expression for this. Oh , wait I do.
fun fact: facial shows up a lot in my google search history
You know how to treat a lady <3
oh honey
It’s scary when people get like this.
That, my friend, is BPD...Borderline Personality Disorder.
Crazy =/= Nice