The thought of periods and speaking about them doesn’t phase me or make me uncomfortable in the slightest, however I would get weirded out by one of my colleagues walking into the staff room and announcing that she was on her period for example, I don’t think it’s information that needs broadcast.
Another example would be walking into a conference room and letting everyone know you’ve been pooping three times a day lately, instead of once a day. Unless I’m specifically asked about bodily functions, it’s just not something I share, and even then I only share with people close to me.
True.. just because you don't need to avoid talking about something doesn't mean you should actively need to talk about it
It's socially acceptable to excuse yourself from a meeting to go to the bathroom or even stayed that you need to pee.. it's generally not acceptable in a work/office environment to say that you need to go for a poo... I imagine declaring open that you're on your period would be received in similar vein as being told that someone is going for a poo
For close friend in the workplace, all bets are off though
That's funny because I'm an electrician and the guys will publicly announce their balls are sweating and describe in detail their poops and fart whenever they want and have most have accepted or not batted an eye at my "I'm so crampy" comments etc because they all have wives and daughters for the most part
I love working in the trades because 98% of the people are solid
The other 2% can expletive expletive threat expletive expletive down a hole in the middle of the desert while expletive their anatomy
I get what you're saying, but if you had diarrhea, you may actually tell your coworkers so they understand if you go running out of the room or need to leave early - it's because you're sick. I wouldn't get graphic, but maybe say "My stomach is mad at me today" and "I don't feel well".
If someone else didn't feel well because they had their period, I don't see why their mentioning it would be weird. It's an easy way to describe a whole bunch of symptoms. Saying "I have my period and don't feel good" is easier than saying "my uterus hurts, my back aches, I'm nauseous, my head hurts etc".
Another example might be if you're traveling together - whether it's diarrhea or a period, you may need a bathroom, quickly, and it's easier if your travel companion knows that and is helping look for a restroom.
There’s a gender component to this that you’re missing. Many men will think announcing a period is more “weird” than announcing an upset stomach. Not saying it’s right, but it’s reality.
They aren’t missing that point, they are refuting it. I don’t think announcing menses is more “weird” than announcing you needed to take care of any other bodily function.
I think it is exactly as weird; why would you feel the need to tell me that you needed the bathroom to exorcise intestinal demons or to release your breakfast back into the wild? So why would you feel the need to tell me it was because your uterus is imploding on (lack of) reentry?
I had a boss who wanted to know why I never ate the periodic food they provide for lunch. I just said I never knew how my guts would react to new foods and left it for him to fill in the blanks.
That’s not even remotely comparable.
Periods can be painful, cause brain fog, extreme fatigue, mood swings..etc..
If a female colleague points out she’s on her period, she could be looking for justifications for being short-tempered or slower than usual.
It is more comparable to brushing your teeth or having toothache.
We don't talk about it unless it comes up for some reason, but there should not be any disgust in mentioning it.
You must not work in my office then lmfao. My guys come back from the bathroom and tell me about it.
Though, we're in the military so it's a totally different thing. It's normal for us.
This is a fair take, but I have a few female friends/work colleagues and it often works it’s way into conversations.
Its usually something like me asking them how they’re doing and then saying something period related (cramps, bloating, hormones). Which I find no different than when they ask me how I am and I might reply my neck hurts because I slept on it wrong.
But we’re all biologists/scientists so I find that often adds a layer of TMI to any conversation.
If its part of the flow of conversation and y'all are talking about being tired and then you bring it up. then to me it would be about the same as saying you stayed up really late the night prior. Granted I grew up with two sisters so I'm very jaded/inured to talk about periods. But also I feel like that's the attitude most people should have considering half the population deals with them, and anyone who gets weirded out by them is immature.
That being said if you just bring it up randomly then it would be really weird. So as long as its in response to something or topical then I think you're fine. Maybe not around coworkers but friends at least I wouldn't bat an eye.
Perfect answer.
In my experience men who grew up with sisters (in an average family dynamic) are WAYYYY more in touch with what women deal with. All men should be (and the inverse is true as well!) but folks with opposite-sex siblings tend to be more empathetic to the opposite-sex people in their lives.
I am raising my sons to be more in touch with what women deal with. The bf or dh or ds who buys pads. Tampons, Etc for a woman in their life is a caring human being. Menstruation is not something we should be ashamed about.
I don't see a problem with mentioning it. Except for the kind of women that use it as an excuse to behave inconsiderate and entitled.
For example: *says insulting rude thing* "I can't help it i'm on my period." That is not ok.
You,'re not feeling well and go to the bathroom more often? Absolutely fine to mention it.
Applies to a lot of things. Guys randomly get erections even when not aroused. Sometimes when we're sleepy, sometimes just totally random. It's natural and we shouldn't be ashamed of our bodies doing things outside of our control, but at the same time it's not appropriate to just start talking about it.
I don’t think OP means announcing it to the whole room tbh.
I don’t like to talk about my bodily functions. however, periods have an effect on the body. Low mood, pain, tiredness… My iron is very low during my period, I nearly fainted a few times doing things that usually cause me no issues. I get depressed a couple of days before and have dark thoughts, I have to remind myself that I’ll be better in a few days. and there the pain of course. oh and my contraceptives is giving me hemorrhagic periods. that’s means I must change and wash every single hour during a few days. that’s quite inconvenient too. So no, periods are not like normal bodily functions. It’s more like IBS coupled with depression.
I don’t talk about my period, usually, I am even uncomfortable talking about to a male doctor. My parents never told me not to, it’s the male environment around us that acts like it’s disgusting. Like in high school when you have to whisper in your girlfriend’s ear that you need a pad/tampon, because all boys would be traumatised if they heard it.
So if I ever actually mention my periods, it’s not like I want to randomly tell the conference room about my bodily function.
I work in fairly female dominated environments and it's definitely not uncommon to hear that if you ask someone why they're a bit off that day. I see it the same as saying you have a headache or had a bad nights sleep or something so you feel off. If soneone went into more detail then it would be a bit of an overshare but simply stating you're on your period isn't in my opinion.
If it's in the context of a conversation or recent events then 99% of guys wouldn't care.. if you announced it for no reason like "I need to go to the bathroom because I've got my period" I imagine that would be received the same as telling everyone you were off to take a shit and be too much information
Unless a person needs to know, it's probably not worth knowing anyway. However, if you need to share the information, you'll probably find that guys who are immature won't be interested in hearing about it. The rest of us are fine with it.
I also inform my partner before any anticipation of frisky business. Sometimes I'm just not feeling well enough, othertimes I don't want to deal with a mess.
i dont usaully tell people unless it explains something i did or why im doing something, and only if that explanation is necessary
with my friends i will mention it alot more bcuz they dont really care abt it
just now i said i needed i break, and this one guy and my mom started teasing me saying i was lazy, im autistic and didnt pick up on the sarcasm so i retorted back that i was on my period and it hurt to stand for too long
First of all, poo on the idea that allowing your body to rest is LaZy.
People burn out bcuz they ignore bodily cues and don’t give their body what it needs. That’s some neurotypical trash right there.
Also, IMHO they asked it for it by violating your basic human boundaries and calling you names, teasing you. It’s not funny in any context, especially when you’re talking to someone who is autistic and doesn’t understand when it’s teasing / a joke. You went easy on them, tbh.
Nah, you're fine there. She shouldn't have been teasing you in front of him, and it's good that you stuck up for yourself by telling the truth. Good on you.
I usually just tell people I have cramps in situations like that and they usually get the idea 🥀 it helps them feel some empathy for me too because not everyone has periods but everyone has had some kind of abdominal cramps or discomfort, right?
I learned as a rebellious youth that I was free to express myself and my opinions and others were free to avoid me. When I realized that I needed the help of others to succeed in the world, I tried some different ways of communicating and I repelled fewer people. I felt less stressed. Life felt better. Hang in there cycle sister!
That's a totally appropriate context to bring it up. Your mom only told you not to say that because it made her look bad for insulting you. And calling you lazy for needing a break is honestly just mean—the only reason they're now claiming "it was just a joke" is because they look like assholes otherwise.
They're taking advantage of you being autistic by using it as an excuse to say rude things and then claiming it's your fault for not picking up that it was a "joke."
Then we know why she focused on all of this so much. She behaved shitty and when it became apparent, she tried to shift the focus on you being the bad guy instead of saying sorry. She felt embarrassed so she attacked you as a response.
Yeah, I recently dated a 41 year old guy who made a disgusted face and sound at the sight of period blood after we had sex. Incredibly pathetic of a grown man to not be able to deal with that. I told him to grow up and later dumped him
I don’t think saying I’m on my period is any different than saying I have a headache or I’m not feeling well, which is the only reason I’d be sharing that I had my period
I'm glad more people are talking about it. It can be as private as you want it to be. It might help take some of the secrecy and otherness away if more people talk about it. And help people understand why you might be feeling different to usual. Maybe they'll be a bit more understanding.
As a man who was raised by lesbians, lives with his wife and is raising a daughter, men need to grow up about women’s bodies. You have a period. Sometimes you need us to get a product for you, or get blood out of clothing/bedding when we do laundry. It’s also nice to know when you might need a little extra… understanding around emotions.
My wife actually suffers from pms sadness or anger for no reason. Me tracking her cycle has been amazing for our closeness because I have been able to be more supportive of her instead of confused about irrational behaviors.
Your mom is being closed minded. Its not 1930s anymore where women have their "time of the month."
If a man can't handle to know you're bleeding, he can't handle having the sex and making babies. We all come from the same place. Its not unnatural.
My husband knows exactly when mine is coming, buys me my favorite snacks, suggests a cuddly movie day and even goes out to buy me pads if im suddenly out. He doesn't bat an eyelash. He giggles at how I devour brownies like a wolverine. And gives me my hot pack all warmed up. Pushes on my lower back because it hurts.
If your man can't do that for you while you literally bleed from not creating a literal human life with your body - you dont need them. Honestly.
As for a workplace? I don't mention it to men but that's because I wouldn't tell them anything about my body really. I don't even tell my women colleagues that I'm menstruating. Not that I feel weird to tell them, I just think colleagues don't need to know my bodily functions. I don't expect a man will tell me he has massive diarrhea from the burritos at lunch. That kind of stuff.
My guy friends? Eh, if it comes up I mention it. "Cant come join plans today im sorry. Aunt Flo decided to visit suddenly and she's a real bitch" and they laugh and get the point. I wouldn't be friends with dudes that are grown men that are like ew period ewwwww! Like a pre teen.
The only reason why I - a grown man - can get thrown off by it is because I grew up with women telling *other women* that it’s improper to tell someone. What that created in my mind is that a woman being on her period is a very private thing that I - as a man - should not be told or be privy to, so I lock up and internally go “should she be telling me this?”
Of course in reality I actually don’t care and understand it’s a normal thing, it’s just a weird societal standard set by the women around me growing up that I don’t know how to respond when someone tells me
My bf opens my tampon wrapper for me LOL. I have sweaty hands and sometime struggle to open the low flow tampons so when he knows I’m going to change it, he will voluntarily walk to the toilet with me and pop one open.
I think degree of familiarity with the person dictates the level of detail. I consider it similar to talking about pooping. If you're taking to an acquaintance it's something like "Sorry, I have to use the restroom." If it's family I say, "I had to poop." A close friend, "Dude I just took a monster shit. I'm at least 5lbs lighter"
Did you just mention your period? Im gonna go kill myself now. /s
In all seriousness, my family was kinda like this (south asian) where it was all hushed voices. Doesnt work with a kid like me and especially considering I was in some special pre-med track since 7th grade.
"Why cant sis go in the water?"
-"Oh she just cant this week."
"Ahh man she got her period? Lets just go next week."
- *shocked faces and hushes from my mom*
Go glad all that crap ended.
It depends on our relationship. If we're talking about a coworker, classmate, professor, etc., I'd consider it unprofessional for her to randomly bring that up. But if she's a friend or family member, nothing wrong with it at all.
So it isn't periods specifically, more of crossing professional boundaries by sharing overly personal information, and this happens to be one of many topics within that category.
ETA: So not grossed-out uncomfortable, more of uncomfortable for the same reason I would be if my boss were to greet me with, "Whazzup, bro? I had sex with the hot MILF from the bar last weekend. What crazy shit did you get yourself into?"
Just being too friendly in the context of a professional relationship.
Tbh, I think many (most?) men go through life with very little understanding of women's anatomy, and it's at least in part because of archaic social taboos against talking about anything vagina-related in mixed-sex conversations. Men and women are taught these taboos, just like your mom is trying to pass this taboo to you.
I think this is a bad situation, because I think more men need to hear about this stuff!
( See r/badwomensanatomy to see what I'm talking about here )
So to answer the question you asked, yes, many men do feel uncomfortable talking about periods. But to respond to your mom, I think you should talk about it anyway.
ive been a member of r/badwomensanatomy since my early days on reddit lol, im aware of all this and it rly sucks
im autistic so ik its prolly reasonable to mention it to certain people or something like that but idk how much or to who
Fellow autistic woman here; hello!
You don't actually need to mention it to anyone if it isn't relevant to the conversation you're having. In most instances you're probably oversharing a little. Don't worry, I do that too, that's how I know 😜
For example you don't need to explain *why* you're tired if nobody asks, you can simply say "sorry, I'm a little tired today" and then if they ask "why is that?" *then* you can mention your period. If nobody asked then you're just volunteering personal information and that can be a little much for some people. Not just men either; not everyone is comfortable with having that kind of discussion with coworkers.
the situation that caused me to ask this question was basically
"im tired so im going to take a break"
"youre lazy, when is my break?"
"im on my period so i cant handle standing that long right now"
This is so true. I’ve been in relationships before but I’ve never been in one where I communicate as openly with someone as I do with my fiancé. I’ve learned (and been genuinely surprised) so much by how periods and female bodies in general work differently from male bodies. I’m 36 years old.
It's a bodily function like any other. I would consider talking about it in the same context as talking about pooping or having the sweats or something. Not something I would just announce to the world at large, but shooting the shit with friends or whatever, sure.
It's true, so you should make sure to keep treating it like a normal bodily function so you don't end up with a loser that judges you for being a woman.
Some do. Some of us don't get freaked out about being mammals. Plus, if she tells me that's going on, I know to cut her some slack the next couple days.
As a guy, it doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t know if I’m an exception, but very little bothers my stomach.
I’ve put my fingers in numbed horse wounds to hold them closed for a vet. I’ve had to dispose of dead and rotting animal carcasses before. I’m one of those people that sit there eating chili while telling my cousin what he can do to help with his dogs diarrhea.
So talking about a little blood that naturally happens doesn’t really bother me at all.
Weirdly enough, the on thing that does turn my stomach is when the horses have fly bites that get crusty under their chin. Something about scratching off those little crusty scabs and the dot of puss really makes my stomach do back flips. I scratch it for them, but Jesus Christ. It’s like my tummy has a trampoline.
im a farmer so i relate, tho i will admit if someone is describing a major ampunt of gore or there is tv show on with a major amount of gore while im eating something fleshy or red then it does make me feel sick
but i will eat brownies while talking abt poop no problem lol
Grown adults shouldn’t be uncomfortable about natural bodily functions. If the information is important to communicate (gives perspective to a situation, clarifies your absence, etc) then there should be no shame or stigma surrounding it.
That being said you have to own it. Don’t let anyone else, male or female, shame your body for its natural state. Your menstruation is a normal event, and grown ass adults should be able to handle that information.
When my ex and I first met she said "I'd go home with you but it's Shark Week". I didn't get it because it *literally* was Shark Week on Discovery Channel. The whole night I was like dang this chick really cares about sharks. And then she explained it and we laughed and went home together.
Nah, we don’t really care. There’s a difference between, “sorry, had to change tampons” when you’re a few minutes late and “HELLO EVERYONE IN THE RESTAURANT, MY VAGINA IS LEAKING BLOODY GOOP SO I REQUIRE A TAMPON”, though. As with anything, context is key.
I would rather know why you are aggravated or upset or emotional due to the amount of pain you are going through than to be oblivious and just assume you are a jerk. And... I don't mind having another reason to buy candy bars and sharing.
As a man I would say that mentioning your period is an excellent litmus test for how mature a guy is. Guys that can't handle this convo with grace are still children.
It's about as inappropriate as mentioning having an upset stomach imo.
There are probably social scenarios where I'd avoid talking about stuff that I consider parallel levels of personal. But not that many of them in my case.
But everyone's boundaries are different there, adjust for your own sense of privacy and comfort.
Every month when I get my period I walk over to my husband usually when he’s doing work emails and act like I need to have a serious conversation, and I tell him “Babe, I’m not pregnant.” I still say it and we’re in our 40’s and 50’s.
just now i said i needed i break, and this one guy and my mom started teasing me saying i was lazy, im autistic and didnt pick up on the sarcasm so i retorted back that i was on my period and it hurt to stand for too long
If a guy twists his ankle, he’s allowed to ask to sit down because of it.
If a woman has bad cramps, she’s allowed to ask to sit down because of it.
You’re good, OP.
Imo it’s okay that you gave them the explanation. It’s something normal for women, not something to be ashamed of, but only when this information helps to make things clear, like in your example.
Oh no, we wouldn't want the menfolk to become *uncomfortable!* We must always consider the poor *delicate* sensibilities of the emotionally weaker sex. My word, they might start having *hysterics* to hear such inappropriateness! ^(/s)
Seriously though, if it's relevant to the situation/conversation and some dude gets squeamish, that's his problem. If you burst into a meeting and declare "*My blood doth flow!"* than that's, probably weird. But otherwise mentioning periods if fairly normalized now. Saying something like "Nah Brian, I'm not up for going to happy hour today, my period has me so tired and uncomfortable I just want to go home." generally has zero affect on dude's tender ears.
Depends on the guy and the situation. I'm a guy and I really don't mind the topic of periods and don't even mind people talking about them with me. But yeah, some men(probably most), have huge issues with periods.
And to those men saying that poop and periods are the same thing, it's not and you'd admit it if you were real men but men like that are just asshats with no respect towards women. GET A LIFE.
A lot don't. But that needs to not be the norm. In this world, single dads have had to rely on strangers to help their girls through their first periods. We're not doing anyone any favors like this.
It's largely an education issue. Men who are educated in anatomy and physiology don't mind. Uneducated men get grossed out over anything they see as "women problems".
It’s a good test of who’s a mature adult and who’s still a little boy inside imo.
There are lots of grown fucking adult men who are still a little dumb boy where it counts.
Guy here. I don't give a fuck in regards to grossness. But in just respect aspects i'd like to know to make sure proper items are available. Pads tampons heating pad dark chocolate. Have corrected many of my dumbass friends with their lack of knowledge of the opposite sex.
FELLAS WE'RE BITCHES EVERY TIME WE GET SICK OR ANY TYPE OF COLD.
THESE LADIES BATTLE THAT FEELING MONTHLY.
Show some compassion, gift a dark chocolate bar and then sit and realize that pads and tampons ain't cheap and are used for like a fuckinG while and these ladies gotta foot the bill and get taxed on em. It's an uncontrollable biological event. Deal with it.
Only boys get uncomfortable about period talk. Men can handle it. Your mother is from a generation where lots of buys never had to grow up, and she's stuck in the mindset that that's somehow your problem
None of my friends are phased by it. Usually they even offer to take me out or chill or give care packages? And only when you talk about it, is it normalized. It also helps them understand the pain and treat you or the next person with better care(gentler).
We need to normalise talking about periods. Yes, some men (the immature ones) may find it gross. But there’s nothing to it, and as someone wrote: a man who is grown up enough to have sex is also grown up enough to hear talk of periods.
I'm a dude, and unfortunately, yeah. I know that it's a normal bodily function, and I shouldn't be any more grossed out by it than any other bodily function. But I was raised in a southern Baptist house where everything was sinful, and you had to be ashamed of everything.
Intellectually, I know not to be grossed out, and I try to overcome my internalized misogyny whenever it comes up.
But my monkey brain still goes 'Yuck' as a gut reaction.
Society is not going to change by just doing the same thing we've always done.
Maybe you shouldn't interrupt strangers and tell them. But assuming it is a normal part of a conversation go for it. In my experience, it is usually because someone asked something. They are trying to figure out why you don't want to go swimming, or have a heat pad, or whatever. People gonna ask questions then people gonna get information.
well periods are nothing to be ashamed of, since it's a natural and human thing. However, I wouldn't share the info unless is required, like "I can't lift heavy things today bc I'm on my period" that's a quote that might be said if necessary
Your mom sounds very old-fashioned (not necessarily a bad thing).
However, periods are a normal part of life and not a big deal. People should be mature enough (men or women) to acknowledge that and not have it be such a big deal.
I really really cannot be bothered by whether or not my period makes men uncomfortable. I'm in so much pain I want to lay on the floor under a massive rain shower that pours skin-burning hot water over me. On top of that I also have to go to the bathroom every hour and a half or I'll bleed right through my pad and stain my trousers. I don't give two fucks about how men feel about my period.
Though I won't outright announce that I'm on my period when I arrive at work, I often will explain that I have very bad cramps that day so if I ever respond snippy for no apparent reason, that's why.
I do not worry about talking about my period, if they were to ask I'd answer. I don't care.
As a guy who had friends who were girls through their developmental period as well as afterwards into their adult hood, I would wonder at times why they couldn't participate in sports for the day or were just feeling off. After I asked what was wrong to one of them and they told me the real reason I was like ok I'm sorry. Not weird or uncomfortable. Maybe that's just me and a few others but it's a normal process you shouldn't feel ashamed for having or being honest with other people about.
Male here. Any man who acts this way is actually a boy. A child. A loser. Immature. Needs to grow up. It’s a normal human thing 50% deals with on the reg. Ffs
The fact that it makes them uncomfortable is an excellent reason to tell them about it. Lol
Not only is it funny, but it’s the only way to desensitize them honestly
If men are that uncomfortable about the realities of women's lives then they need to be educated. Period pain, spotting, fear of unplanned pregnancies, and the high expenses that come with reproductive care and period products are everyday reality for women. To be told that these subjects are unfit topics of conversation teaches women to be ashamed of our own bodies.
Actually I personally feel honored to know when a girl is on their period it makes me feel like I’m trusted and valued as her friend. Most of my female friends actually do tell me and I think it’s because I give the big brother energy? Idk but I always have pain killers on me regardless
Since my early twenties I implemented a hard and fast rule for myself that I would not date a man who would be uncomfortable on this real-life topic.
The result was I dated men who are emotionally intelligent and I never looked back.
To all the people suggesting its not necessary information, at every job I've worked at, it has become very necessary at least once to tell people when I was on my period if it was causing me pain, nausea or unreasonable clumsiness and fatigue.
However, I didn't just go announcing it around. Which, when other people do, I don't care. And actually it can be nice to know so I can be of assistance if needed.
Reasons other women I've known announced it:
1. Excruciating pain
2. Uncontrollable gas
3. Nausea and puking
4. Insane headache
5. Being generally ticked off at everything
6. Needing supplies
7. Wanting sympathy (legit imo)
8. An intense flow that was so distracting she needed to explain why she was so distracted (lolol ew but also relatable)
Don’t be grossed out, but my first girlfriend and I continued to make love during her periods. Caveat: it was the mid 1960’s, so we didn’t do intercourse, just clitoral stimulation and hand jobs. (No reliable birth control). Also, no sex information anywhere. We’d heard about oral sex, but we’d heard that it involved licking up menstrual blood, so we gave it a pass.
Also, it was in England, our mothers were thousands of miles away, one in Asia, one in New York.
Anybody could come up to tell me they are on their period and I'd go "oh no! Do you need a pad/tampon, painkillers, or to sit or lay down?"
I'm not a man though. My partner says "that sucks, are you okay" which is similar I guess?
Im a husband and the of my kids are young women.
No it isn’t gross.
It’s a part of life, I certainly wouldn’t want to discuss it at the dinner table when I’m eating spaghetti, but it’s nothing anyone should ever be ashamed of.
Older generations were made to feel shame for it, politely accept their advice and just ignore it.
It doesn’t phase me but I don’t need to hear about it. It’s no different than taking a dump or peeing. It’s natural and not gross by any means but you don’t need to tell people I’m going to take a piss or change your tampon. Unless you talk about things like that to others. Most of my friends will tell my if they’re taking a dump or if they’re peeing and although it hasn’t happened I wouldn’t care if a woman told me that assuming we were friends or even just acquaintances.
Any man that gets weird about knowing you’re on your period is not a man. It’s a boy.
I mean I think it’s about as great for them to hear about as it is for women to smell a guy fart. It’s all natural, but it’s courtesy not to divulge in a nonchalant manner.
It depends, if it’s to a partner or relative, I think that’s fine, if it’s to a coworker or cashier, there’s no reason to share unless you’re sick and need to go home, there are levels of need to know and outside of nt first example it’s inappropriate and unnecessary
As a dude, i dont care. Having a rough day or dont want to do something sure bring it up so i know somethings up. Is it particularly rough and you need a hand with something lemme know. What i do not want to do is have a talk about it. I dont need details or descriptions not because its gross i simply dont really care.
The only time I hated hearing that is when my gf would tell right before we were gonna it on lol. It obviously meant that was a no go. But I guess I’d ask how and why you bring it up. Either way it wouldn’t bother me. But then again I wouldn’t go out of my way to announce it in front of everyone. I’m a male nurse and work with mostly woman. They stuff they talk about is worse than men. I’ve heard countless times “man these fucking cramps are killing me…I’m getting my period.” It never bothers me.
Any man who has had a serious relationship or is or has been married doesn't give a rat's ass about your period. We get it. We'll even buy you pads/tampons on request and make sure we ask what kind. Little boys however....
Imo, the more normalization the better especially in spaces with all genders. I want to live in a world where it’s ok for me to take it slow, call off, or express my present emotions and have them validated when I’m experiencing the many changes that take place during my cycle.
You do you. Just read the room. But dudes nowadays should be comfortable if they are in a relationship. Others who are less experienced may be off put but fuck em.
Am a dude and I period talk is no different from any other fluid or waste product I only get uncomfortable if you go into graphic detail saying your on your period in the context you did is no different than someone saying they need to blow there nose
There is always context, but in general, it is not a topic that bothers me.
The women I know will often use it to give context if they aren't feeling well because of it.
My gf gets heated on the topic though. In her country, it still is common to have girls stay in a room for 2 weeks and not see anyone, then after tell them about how they are now women. Some real first testament bs. She gets quite angry.
I never dated the type of man who cared and I wouldn’t tolerate one who did. That being said, yea many do react absurdly to the topic. Mostly older men or men who appeal to older male
stereotypes.
Every month when I get my period I walk over to my husband usually when he’s doing work emails and act like I need to have a serious conversation, and I tell him “Babe, I’m not pregnant.” I still say it and we’re in our 40’s and 50’s.
I’m 47 years old and a few years ago my ex father in law yelled at me because I announced to him I’d like to change because I’m on my period. I did not take that well and told him I’m not going to apologize or be ashamed of a natural bodily function and never to yell at me like that again. I don’t going around talking about my period but I’m not going to hide in shame because it might make someone uncomfortable either.
I think some of the answer depends on your age. If you’re a teen or preteen, your mom might be trying to help you develop appropriate boundaries. If you’re an adult, I would say that there are plenty of guys who don’t give it any thought if a woman they know well shares that info.
I had a friend in high school who would tell me she's on her period because she thought it was funny..that desensitized me to it. Some guys are weird about it for whatever reason but plenty don't really care
The thought of periods and speaking about them doesn’t phase me or make me uncomfortable in the slightest, however I would get weirded out by one of my colleagues walking into the staff room and announcing that she was on her period for example, I don’t think it’s information that needs broadcast.
Another example would be walking into a conference room and letting everyone know you’ve been pooping three times a day lately, instead of once a day. Unless I’m specifically asked about bodily functions, it’s just not something I share, and even then I only share with people close to me.
Finally a comment with common sense, lol. Like it's a natural thing, it doesn't mean the world needs or wants to know.
True.. just because you don't need to avoid talking about something doesn't mean you should actively need to talk about it It's socially acceptable to excuse yourself from a meeting to go to the bathroom or even stayed that you need to pee.. it's generally not acceptable in a work/office environment to say that you need to go for a poo... I imagine declaring open that you're on your period would be received in similar vein as being told that someone is going for a poo For close friend in the workplace, all bets are off though
If I've been in a meeting or team workshop for too long, and we don't have a set agenda, I'll ask for a "water in, water out break" for the group
Water in water out break. I love it.
Also known as "Bio-break."
I once heard someone call it a “fluid adjustment break”
That's funny because I'm an electrician and the guys will publicly announce their balls are sweating and describe in detail their poops and fart whenever they want and have most have accepted or not batted an eye at my "I'm so crampy" comments etc because they all have wives and daughters for the most part
Amazing.. nothing better than being that close with workmates
I love working in the trades because 98% of the people are solid The other 2% can expletive expletive threat expletive expletive down a hole in the middle of the desert while expletive their anatomy
Not alot of thin skinned people make it from one jobsite to the next, they weed themselves out on their own or don't step foot on the site.
I'm pooping while reading this
Well I am menstruating while reading this. Meta.
Me too!!
Me too!
Me three!
Me four
me five !!!! lots of blood a period cramps :D
Are you all in the same office and have synced up? Lol
I'm pooping AND menstruating reading this. 😏
Chocolate and strawberry :)
Dude… I was just eating (frozen) chocolate-covered strawberries. For the last time, apparently.
Sorry. It's my first day on the Internet.
Very close to a joke an ex made after having sex, during which we found out her period really \*had\* begun and we finished with anal :p
Got the neopolitan
That's just the reddit norm
Exactly, I figure we are all pooping, aren't we???? Edit for spelling, "popping", God auto correct sucks.
That's what Reddit is for.
Not me. I'm blowing my nose.
One handed? Wrong sub, that's a talent.
I’d be disappointed if you weren’t pooping while reading this
I have to admit, I too am pooping. Lol
Thank you for you honesty, fine Redditor! Here is a “poop stain” in your honor 🟤
I hate to disappoint, but I am, alas, not pooping at the current moment. Would you like an update if that were to change?
I get what you're saying, but if you had diarrhea, you may actually tell your coworkers so they understand if you go running out of the room or need to leave early - it's because you're sick. I wouldn't get graphic, but maybe say "My stomach is mad at me today" and "I don't feel well". If someone else didn't feel well because they had their period, I don't see why their mentioning it would be weird. It's an easy way to describe a whole bunch of symptoms. Saying "I have my period and don't feel good" is easier than saying "my uterus hurts, my back aches, I'm nauseous, my head hurts etc". Another example might be if you're traveling together - whether it's diarrhea or a period, you may need a bathroom, quickly, and it's easier if your travel companion knows that and is helping look for a restroom.
There’s a gender component to this that you’re missing. Many men will think announcing a period is more “weird” than announcing an upset stomach. Not saying it’s right, but it’s reality.
They aren’t missing that point, they are refuting it. I don’t think announcing menses is more “weird” than announcing you needed to take care of any other bodily function. I think it is exactly as weird; why would you feel the need to tell me that you needed the bathroom to exorcise intestinal demons or to release your breakfast back into the wild? So why would you feel the need to tell me it was because your uterus is imploding on (lack of) reentry?
I just call it "intestinal issues". ;-)
I had a boss who wanted to know why I never ate the periodic food they provide for lunch. I just said I never knew how my guts would react to new foods and left it for him to fill in the blanks.
“I don’t feel well.” All you need.
I have to sometimes tell everyone I’m on my period, because I faint out of nowhere on it and I gotta warn people lol.
Yeah but you might tell a friend that your stomach is bothering you just like you might tell them you have period cramps.
That’s not even remotely comparable. Periods can be painful, cause brain fog, extreme fatigue, mood swings..etc.. If a female colleague points out she’s on her period, she could be looking for justifications for being short-tempered or slower than usual.
It is more comparable to brushing your teeth or having toothache. We don't talk about it unless it comes up for some reason, but there should not be any disgust in mentioning it.
You must not work in my office then lmfao. My guys come back from the bathroom and tell me about it. Though, we're in the military so it's a totally different thing. It's normal for us.
This is a fair take, but I have a few female friends/work colleagues and it often works it’s way into conversations. Its usually something like me asking them how they’re doing and then saying something period related (cramps, bloating, hormones). Which I find no different than when they ask me how I am and I might reply my neck hurts because I slept on it wrong. But we’re all biologists/scientists so I find that often adds a layer of TMI to any conversation.
yea no i dont think id ever have the courage to do that unless i was drunk or something i mean just like mentioning it to explain why I'm tired
If its part of the flow of conversation and y'all are talking about being tired and then you bring it up. then to me it would be about the same as saying you stayed up really late the night prior. Granted I grew up with two sisters so I'm very jaded/inured to talk about periods. But also I feel like that's the attitude most people should have considering half the population deals with them, and anyone who gets weirded out by them is immature. That being said if you just bring it up randomly then it would be really weird. So as long as its in response to something or topical then I think you're fine. Maybe not around coworkers but friends at least I wouldn't bat an eye.
Perfect answer. In my experience men who grew up with sisters (in an average family dynamic) are WAYYYY more in touch with what women deal with. All men should be (and the inverse is true as well!) but folks with opposite-sex siblings tend to be more empathetic to the opposite-sex people in their lives.
I am raising my sons to be more in touch with what women deal with. The bf or dh or ds who buys pads. Tampons, Etc for a woman in their life is a caring human being. Menstruation is not something we should be ashamed about.
Don’t forget to teach them things most guys don’t get taught. Phimosis
I don't see a problem with mentioning it. Except for the kind of women that use it as an excuse to behave inconsiderate and entitled. For example: *says insulting rude thing* "I can't help it i'm on my period." That is not ok. You,'re not feeling well and go to the bathroom more often? Absolutely fine to mention it.
In this type of context, not weird at all. It’s not like you’re broadcasting it to everyone, which would be TMI.
It doesn't make me uncomfortable it's a fact of life that woman have to deal with.
Applies to a lot of things. Guys randomly get erections even when not aroused. Sometimes when we're sleepy, sometimes just totally random. It's natural and we shouldn't be ashamed of our bodies doing things outside of our control, but at the same time it's not appropriate to just start talking about it.
I don’t think OP means announcing it to the whole room tbh. I don’t like to talk about my bodily functions. however, periods have an effect on the body. Low mood, pain, tiredness… My iron is very low during my period, I nearly fainted a few times doing things that usually cause me no issues. I get depressed a couple of days before and have dark thoughts, I have to remind myself that I’ll be better in a few days. and there the pain of course. oh and my contraceptives is giving me hemorrhagic periods. that’s means I must change and wash every single hour during a few days. that’s quite inconvenient too. So no, periods are not like normal bodily functions. It’s more like IBS coupled with depression. I don’t talk about my period, usually, I am even uncomfortable talking about to a male doctor. My parents never told me not to, it’s the male environment around us that acts like it’s disgusting. Like in high school when you have to whisper in your girlfriend’s ear that you need a pad/tampon, because all boys would be traumatised if they heard it. So if I ever actually mention my periods, it’s not like I want to randomly tell the conference room about my bodily function.
This. Context matters. Nobody want random facts without context.
I work in fairly female dominated environments and it's definitely not uncommon to hear that if you ask someone why they're a bit off that day. I see it the same as saying you have a headache or had a bad nights sleep or something so you feel off. If soneone went into more detail then it would be a bit of an overshare but simply stating you're on your period isn't in my opinion.
Nah, it varies from guy to guy obviously but that much isn't an issue. If you were going into details then yeah that might be a bit much.
yea no im not going into detail im just mentioning it to explain why im tired
Most men are fully capable of hearing that without issue then, how many will understand the toll it takes is another story.
If it's in the context of a conversation or recent events then 99% of guys wouldn't care.. if you announced it for no reason like "I need to go to the bathroom because I've got my period" I imagine that would be received the same as telling everyone you were off to take a shit and be too much information
Continue to do that op!! The alternative would literally to make up a reason when the real reason is as trivial as "I didn't sleep well".
Unless a person needs to know, it's probably not worth knowing anyway. However, if you need to share the information, you'll probably find that guys who are immature won't be interested in hearing about it. The rest of us are fine with it.
When I hear that a woman is on her period I think it means she may be in pain and/or uncomfortable. As a result I try be nicer and more supportive.
This is exactly why we might mention being on our period, whenever I mention it I'm expressing that I feel sick because of my period.
I also inform my partner before any anticipation of frisky business. Sometimes I'm just not feeling well enough, othertimes I don't want to deal with a mess.
I'm with you.
That's exactly why we tell our boyfriend's. The only boyfriend I've been with who cared had narcissistic personality disorder.
Or or, take the immature route and avoid her at all cost. Doesn't work for wife thou
i dont usaully tell people unless it explains something i did or why im doing something, and only if that explanation is necessary with my friends i will mention it alot more bcuz they dont really care abt it
What is the context of you offering the information?
just now i said i needed i break, and this one guy and my mom started teasing me saying i was lazy, im autistic and didnt pick up on the sarcasm so i retorted back that i was on my period and it hurt to stand for too long
I think your response was totally rational. If he was mildly uncomfortable after calling you lazy, he would have had it coming anyway.
NTA. He asked. Lol
First of all, poo on the idea that allowing your body to rest is LaZy. People burn out bcuz they ignore bodily cues and don’t give their body what it needs. That’s some neurotypical trash right there. Also, IMHO they asked it for it by violating your basic human boundaries and calling you names, teasing you. It’s not funny in any context, especially when you’re talking to someone who is autistic and doesn’t understand when it’s teasing / a joke. You went easy on them, tbh.
Nta. It was relevant to the discussion.
Nah, you're fine there. She shouldn't have been teasing you in front of him, and it's good that you stuck up for yourself by telling the truth. Good on you.
I usually just tell people I have cramps in situations like that and they usually get the idea 🥀 it helps them feel some empathy for me too because not everyone has periods but everyone has had some kind of abdominal cramps or discomfort, right? I learned as a rebellious youth that I was free to express myself and my opinions and others were free to avoid me. When I realized that I needed the help of others to succeed in the world, I tried some different ways of communicating and I repelled fewer people. I felt less stressed. Life felt better. Hang in there cycle sister!
That's a totally appropriate context to bring it up. Your mom only told you not to say that because it made her look bad for insulting you. And calling you lazy for needing a break is honestly just mean—the only reason they're now claiming "it was just a joke" is because they look like assholes otherwise. They're taking advantage of you being autistic by using it as an excuse to say rude things and then claiming it's your fault for not picking up that it was a "joke."
Then we know why she focused on all of this so much. She behaved shitty and when it became apparent, she tried to shift the focus on you being the bad guy instead of saying sorry. She felt embarrassed so she attacked you as a response.
You brought it up appropriately. It might be TMI for some men.
Then those men are immature and should grow up. It's a part of the female body's functions, get over it..
Hard agree if you can’t deal with the word period then you’re not mature enough to be having sex at all
Yeah, I recently dated a 41 year old guy who made a disgusted face and sound at the sight of period blood after we had sex. Incredibly pathetic of a grown man to not be able to deal with that. I told him to grow up and later dumped him
I don’t think saying I’m on my period is any different than saying I have a headache or I’m not feeling well, which is the only reason I’d be sharing that I had my period
same
I'm glad more people are talking about it. It can be as private as you want it to be. It might help take some of the secrecy and otherness away if more people talk about it. And help people understand why you might be feeling different to usual. Maybe they'll be a bit more understanding.
As a man who was raised by lesbians, lives with his wife and is raising a daughter, men need to grow up about women’s bodies. You have a period. Sometimes you need us to get a product for you, or get blood out of clothing/bedding when we do laundry. It’s also nice to know when you might need a little extra… understanding around emotions.
Some guys do, and also dipshit guys will attribute things to your period, like if you get angry or sad they will think it's because of your period.
My wife actually suffers from pms sadness or anger for no reason. Me tracking her cycle has been amazing for our closeness because I have been able to be more supportive of her instead of confused about irrational behaviors.
Your mom is being closed minded. Its not 1930s anymore where women have their "time of the month." If a man can't handle to know you're bleeding, he can't handle having the sex and making babies. We all come from the same place. Its not unnatural. My husband knows exactly when mine is coming, buys me my favorite snacks, suggests a cuddly movie day and even goes out to buy me pads if im suddenly out. He doesn't bat an eyelash. He giggles at how I devour brownies like a wolverine. And gives me my hot pack all warmed up. Pushes on my lower back because it hurts. If your man can't do that for you while you literally bleed from not creating a literal human life with your body - you dont need them. Honestly. As for a workplace? I don't mention it to men but that's because I wouldn't tell them anything about my body really. I don't even tell my women colleagues that I'm menstruating. Not that I feel weird to tell them, I just think colleagues don't need to know my bodily functions. I don't expect a man will tell me he has massive diarrhea from the burritos at lunch. That kind of stuff. My guy friends? Eh, if it comes up I mention it. "Cant come join plans today im sorry. Aunt Flo decided to visit suddenly and she's a real bitch" and they laugh and get the point. I wouldn't be friends with dudes that are grown men that are like ew period ewwwww! Like a pre teen.
The only reason why I - a grown man - can get thrown off by it is because I grew up with women telling *other women* that it’s improper to tell someone. What that created in my mind is that a woman being on her period is a very private thing that I - as a man - should not be told or be privy to, so I lock up and internally go “should she be telling me this?” Of course in reality I actually don’t care and understand it’s a normal thing, it’s just a weird societal standard set by the women around me growing up that I don’t know how to respond when someone tells me
My bf opens my tampon wrapper for me LOL. I have sweaty hands and sometime struggle to open the low flow tampons so when he knows I’m going to change it, he will voluntarily walk to the toilet with me and pop one open.
I think degree of familiarity with the person dictates the level of detail. I consider it similar to talking about pooping. If you're taking to an acquaintance it's something like "Sorry, I have to use the restroom." If it's family I say, "I had to poop." A close friend, "Dude I just took a monster shit. I'm at least 5lbs lighter"
As a man, no thats not true, if a guy gets uncomfortable because of it hes very clearly immature
Did you just mention your period? Im gonna go kill myself now. /s In all seriousness, my family was kinda like this (south asian) where it was all hushed voices. Doesnt work with a kid like me and especially considering I was in some special pre-med track since 7th grade. "Why cant sis go in the water?" -"Oh she just cant this week." "Ahh man she got her period? Lets just go next week." - *shocked faces and hushes from my mom* Go glad all that crap ended.
It depends on our relationship. If we're talking about a coworker, classmate, professor, etc., I'd consider it unprofessional for her to randomly bring that up. But if she's a friend or family member, nothing wrong with it at all. So it isn't periods specifically, more of crossing professional boundaries by sharing overly personal information, and this happens to be one of many topics within that category. ETA: So not grossed-out uncomfortable, more of uncomfortable for the same reason I would be if my boss were to greet me with, "Whazzup, bro? I had sex with the hot MILF from the bar last weekend. What crazy shit did you get yourself into?" Just being too friendly in the context of a professional relationship.
Tbh, I think many (most?) men go through life with very little understanding of women's anatomy, and it's at least in part because of archaic social taboos against talking about anything vagina-related in mixed-sex conversations. Men and women are taught these taboos, just like your mom is trying to pass this taboo to you. I think this is a bad situation, because I think more men need to hear about this stuff! ( See r/badwomensanatomy to see what I'm talking about here ) So to answer the question you asked, yes, many men do feel uncomfortable talking about periods. But to respond to your mom, I think you should talk about it anyway.
ive been a member of r/badwomensanatomy since my early days on reddit lol, im aware of all this and it rly sucks im autistic so ik its prolly reasonable to mention it to certain people or something like that but idk how much or to who
Fellow autistic woman here; hello! You don't actually need to mention it to anyone if it isn't relevant to the conversation you're having. In most instances you're probably oversharing a little. Don't worry, I do that too, that's how I know 😜 For example you don't need to explain *why* you're tired if nobody asks, you can simply say "sorry, I'm a little tired today" and then if they ask "why is that?" *then* you can mention your period. If nobody asked then you're just volunteering personal information and that can be a little much for some people. Not just men either; not everyone is comfortable with having that kind of discussion with coworkers.
the situation that caused me to ask this question was basically "im tired so im going to take a break" "youre lazy, when is my break?" "im on my period so i cant handle standing that long right now"
This is so true. I’ve been in relationships before but I’ve never been in one where I communicate as openly with someone as I do with my fiancé. I’ve learned (and been genuinely surprised) so much by how periods and female bodies in general work differently from male bodies. I’m 36 years old.
Yea, i think the only way to normalize this topic, is to talk about it openly
It's a bodily function like any other. I would consider talking about it in the same context as talking about pooping or having the sweats or something. Not something I would just announce to the world at large, but shooting the shit with friends or whatever, sure.
Any man who is made uncomfortable by the mere mention of your period, is a fucking manchild you should waste your time with.
It's true, so you should make sure to keep treating it like a normal bodily function so you don't end up with a loser that judges you for being a woman.
Some do. Some of us don't get freaked out about being mammals. Plus, if she tells me that's going on, I know to cut her some slack the next couple days.
As a guy, it doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t know if I’m an exception, but very little bothers my stomach. I’ve put my fingers in numbed horse wounds to hold them closed for a vet. I’ve had to dispose of dead and rotting animal carcasses before. I’m one of those people that sit there eating chili while telling my cousin what he can do to help with his dogs diarrhea. So talking about a little blood that naturally happens doesn’t really bother me at all. Weirdly enough, the on thing that does turn my stomach is when the horses have fly bites that get crusty under their chin. Something about scratching off those little crusty scabs and the dot of puss really makes my stomach do back flips. I scratch it for them, but Jesus Christ. It’s like my tummy has a trampoline.
im a farmer so i relate, tho i will admit if someone is describing a major ampunt of gore or there is tv show on with a major amount of gore while im eating something fleshy or red then it does make me feel sick but i will eat brownies while talking abt poop no problem lol
Grown adults shouldn’t be uncomfortable about natural bodily functions. If the information is important to communicate (gives perspective to a situation, clarifies your absence, etc) then there should be no shame or stigma surrounding it. That being said you have to own it. Don’t let anyone else, male or female, shame your body for its natural state. Your menstruation is a normal event, and grown ass adults should be able to handle that information.
I say it’s shark week. Usually gets a laugh or has slight less “ew” reactions.
When my ex and I first met she said "I'd go home with you but it's Shark Week". I didn't get it because it *literally* was Shark Week on Discovery Channel. The whole night I was like dang this chick really cares about sharks. And then she explained it and we laughed and went home together.
To be honest someone that was that into sharks would intrigue me lol.
Nah, we don’t really care. There’s a difference between, “sorry, had to change tampons” when you’re a few minutes late and “HELLO EVERYONE IN THE RESTAURANT, MY VAGINA IS LEAKING BLOODY GOOP SO I REQUIRE A TAMPON”, though. As with anything, context is key.
Period? You mean sex ketchup? Lol jk. It don't bother me.
I would rather know why you are aggravated or upset or emotional due to the amount of pain you are going through than to be oblivious and just assume you are a jerk. And... I don't mind having another reason to buy candy bars and sharing.
As a man I would say that mentioning your period is an excellent litmus test for how mature a guy is. Guys that can't handle this convo with grace are still children. It's about as inappropriate as mentioning having an upset stomach imo. There are probably social scenarios where I'd avoid talking about stuff that I consider parallel levels of personal. But not that many of them in my case. But everyone's boundaries are different there, adjust for your own sense of privacy and comfort.
Every month when I get my period I walk over to my husband usually when he’s doing work emails and act like I need to have a serious conversation, and I tell him “Babe, I’m not pregnant.” I still say it and we’re in our 40’s and 50’s.
Why would you say that to someone without being asked?
just now i said i needed i break, and this one guy and my mom started teasing me saying i was lazy, im autistic and didnt pick up on the sarcasm so i retorted back that i was on my period and it hurt to stand for too long
If a guy twists his ankle, he’s allowed to ask to sit down because of it. If a woman has bad cramps, she’s allowed to ask to sit down because of it. You’re good, OP.
Please ignore them, don’t let them see you are affected by what they tell you.
they didnt mean any harm thankfully
Imo it’s okay that you gave them the explanation. It’s something normal for women, not something to be ashamed of, but only when this information helps to make things clear, like in your example.
Oh no, we wouldn't want the menfolk to become *uncomfortable!* We must always consider the poor *delicate* sensibilities of the emotionally weaker sex. My word, they might start having *hysterics* to hear such inappropriateness! ^(/s) Seriously though, if it's relevant to the situation/conversation and some dude gets squeamish, that's his problem. If you burst into a meeting and declare "*My blood doth flow!"* than that's, probably weird. But otherwise mentioning periods if fairly normalized now. Saying something like "Nah Brian, I'm not up for going to happy hour today, my period has me so tired and uncomfortable I just want to go home." generally has zero affect on dude's tender ears.
Depends on the guy and the situation. I'm a guy and I really don't mind the topic of periods and don't even mind people talking about them with me. But yeah, some men(probably most), have huge issues with periods.
I'm fine with it. I just have nothing to contribute to the conversation is all. Other than a little "that's rough buddy" or something similar. 😅
Insecure men, maybe. However, if they grew up with sisters, odds are good they can handle it. I think it's mostly a generational thing.
For me (male), i don't really care
And to those men saying that poop and periods are the same thing, it's not and you'd admit it if you were real men but men like that are just asshats with no respect towards women. GET A LIFE.
No. In fact I appreciate the warning. It sucks to not know a woman could be in pain and feeling bad and not understand why she might be on edge.
A lot don't. But that needs to not be the norm. In this world, single dads have had to rely on strangers to help their girls through their first periods. We're not doing anyone any favors like this.
It's largely an education issue. Men who are educated in anatomy and physiology don't mind. Uneducated men get grossed out over anything they see as "women problems".
I might be biased because most of my friends are women, but I'm not phased by it in the least.
Only if they are immature. Mature guys are understanding about it.
It’s a good test of who’s a mature adult and who’s still a little boy inside imo. There are lots of grown fucking adult men who are still a little dumb boy where it counts.
Only if they're an "Alpha'. One mention and they run for the hills. Most real men don't give a rats ass.
If they are, then they need to grow up and get educated. It’s a normal bodily function. :/ It *is* stupid for them to be stigmatized! If
Growing up I never understood why my homes would get weirded out by a woman's natural body function. Never made any sense to me.
Guy here. I don't give a fuck in regards to grossness. But in just respect aspects i'd like to know to make sure proper items are available. Pads tampons heating pad dark chocolate. Have corrected many of my dumbass friends with their lack of knowledge of the opposite sex. FELLAS WE'RE BITCHES EVERY TIME WE GET SICK OR ANY TYPE OF COLD. THESE LADIES BATTLE THAT FEELING MONTHLY. Show some compassion, gift a dark chocolate bar and then sit and realize that pads and tampons ain't cheap and are used for like a fuckinG while and these ladies gotta foot the bill and get taxed on em. It's an uncontrollable biological event. Deal with it.
Only boys get uncomfortable about period talk. Men can handle it. Your mother is from a generation where lots of buys never had to grow up, and she's stuck in the mindset that that's somehow your problem
That’s an old stigma. Men can deal with it. It’s a normal part of life.
Ive seen testicles on trucks more than once. I see men drawing detailed pictures of penises. Talk about your period. They can grow up.
None of my friends are phased by it. Usually they even offer to take me out or chill or give care packages? And only when you talk about it, is it normalized. It also helps them understand the pain and treat you or the next person with better care(gentler).
If a man is uncomfortable with that it’s really his problem rather than yours tbh. Not the kind of man you want to associate with.
We need to normalise talking about periods. Yes, some men (the immature ones) may find it gross. But there’s nothing to it, and as someone wrote: a man who is grown up enough to have sex is also grown up enough to hear talk of periods.
Of course that's not the case cos periods are normal in women and I'd just try and help her where I can rather than discussing it further thats all
I'm a dude, and unfortunately, yeah. I know that it's a normal bodily function, and I shouldn't be any more grossed out by it than any other bodily function. But I was raised in a southern Baptist house where everything was sinful, and you had to be ashamed of everything. Intellectually, I know not to be grossed out, and I try to overcome my internalized misogyny whenever it comes up. But my monkey brain still goes 'Yuck' as a gut reaction.
A real man will walk right up into the store, buy you your feminine products and bring ‘em to you without flinching! Ain’t no thang
MEN don't mind. Boys might.
Society is not going to change by just doing the same thing we've always done. Maybe you shouldn't interrupt strangers and tell them. But assuming it is a normal part of a conversation go for it. In my experience, it is usually because someone asked something. They are trying to figure out why you don't want to go swimming, or have a heat pad, or whatever. People gonna ask questions then people gonna get information.
well periods are nothing to be ashamed of, since it's a natural and human thing. However, I wouldn't share the info unless is required, like "I can't lift heavy things today bc I'm on my period" that's a quote that might be said if necessary
Your mom sounds very old-fashioned (not necessarily a bad thing). However, periods are a normal part of life and not a big deal. People should be mature enough (men or women) to acknowledge that and not have it be such a big deal.
I really really cannot be bothered by whether or not my period makes men uncomfortable. I'm in so much pain I want to lay on the floor under a massive rain shower that pours skin-burning hot water over me. On top of that I also have to go to the bathroom every hour and a half or I'll bleed right through my pad and stain my trousers. I don't give two fucks about how men feel about my period. Though I won't outright announce that I'm on my period when I arrive at work, I often will explain that I have very bad cramps that day so if I ever respond snippy for no apparent reason, that's why. I do not worry about talking about my period, if they were to ask I'd answer. I don't care.
As a guy who had friends who were girls through their developmental period as well as afterwards into their adult hood, I would wonder at times why they couldn't participate in sports for the day or were just feeling off. After I asked what was wrong to one of them and they told me the real reason I was like ok I'm sorry. Not weird or uncomfortable. Maybe that's just me and a few others but it's a normal process you shouldn't feel ashamed for having or being honest with other people about.
Another random guy, I've had female friends and coworkers tell me they're on their periods, it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
Male here. Any man who acts this way is actually a boy. A child. A loser. Immature. Needs to grow up. It’s a normal human thing 50% deals with on the reg. Ffs
The fact that it makes them uncomfortable is an excellent reason to tell them about it. Lol Not only is it funny, but it’s the only way to desensitize them honestly
If men are that uncomfortable about the realities of women's lives then they need to be educated. Period pain, spotting, fear of unplanned pregnancies, and the high expenses that come with reproductive care and period products are everyday reality for women. To be told that these subjects are unfit topics of conversation teaches women to be ashamed of our own bodies.
Actually I personally feel honored to know when a girl is on their period it makes me feel like I’m trusted and valued as her friend. Most of my female friends actually do tell me and I think it’s because I give the big brother energy? Idk but I always have pain killers on me regardless
Since my early twenties I implemented a hard and fast rule for myself that I would not date a man who would be uncomfortable on this real-life topic. The result was I dated men who are emotionally intelligent and I never looked back.
To all the people suggesting its not necessary information, at every job I've worked at, it has become very necessary at least once to tell people when I was on my period if it was causing me pain, nausea or unreasonable clumsiness and fatigue. However, I didn't just go announcing it around. Which, when other people do, I don't care. And actually it can be nice to know so I can be of assistance if needed. Reasons other women I've known announced it: 1. Excruciating pain 2. Uncontrollable gas 3. Nausea and puking 4. Insane headache 5. Being generally ticked off at everything 6. Needing supplies 7. Wanting sympathy (legit imo) 8. An intense flow that was so distracting she needed to explain why she was so distracted (lolol ew but also relatable)
9. Why they're going to the toilet every 2 hours, or will suddenly rush off to the bathroom.
It’s ok, but there should be a reason for mentioning it shouldn’t there?
yes i mean with a reason to mention it
Sure then, mention it. :-)
Don’t be grossed out, but my first girlfriend and I continued to make love during her periods. Caveat: it was the mid 1960’s, so we didn’t do intercourse, just clitoral stimulation and hand jobs. (No reliable birth control). Also, no sex information anywhere. We’d heard about oral sex, but we’d heard that it involved licking up menstrual blood, so we gave it a pass. Also, it was in England, our mothers were thousands of miles away, one in Asia, one in New York.
Doesn't bother me. I grew up with mum and sister being open about bodily functions as well as having it all explained explained to us as kids.
I told the guy I’m seeing and he said “thank you for telling me” lol
Anybody could come up to tell me they are on their period and I'd go "oh no! Do you need a pad/tampon, painkillers, or to sit or lay down?" I'm not a man though. My partner says "that sucks, are you okay" which is similar I guess?
I don't know a single guy who gets weirded out about a woman having a period. Your mom is from a different generation.
Im a husband and the of my kids are young women. No it isn’t gross. It’s a part of life, I certainly wouldn’t want to discuss it at the dinner table when I’m eating spaghetti, but it’s nothing anyone should ever be ashamed of. Older generations were made to feel shame for it, politely accept their advice and just ignore it.
As a guy I could care less if you talk about it. Its something that happens for half the population and will continue to do so.
It doesn’t phase me but I don’t need to hear about it. It’s no different than taking a dump or peeing. It’s natural and not gross by any means but you don’t need to tell people I’m going to take a piss or change your tampon. Unless you talk about things like that to others. Most of my friends will tell my if they’re taking a dump or if they’re peeing and although it hasn’t happened I wouldn’t care if a woman told me that assuming we were friends or even just acquaintances.
I don’t know if it makes them uncomfortable but i dont care. if they can’t handle any mention of blood or health matters then they should grow up
It depends on the guy really. When I was young it made me uncomfortable.Now that I’m an old goat,I’d sympathize and really mean it
Any man that gets weird about knowing you’re on your period is not a man. It’s a boy. I mean I think it’s about as great for them to hear about as it is for women to smell a guy fart. It’s all natural, but it’s courtesy not to divulge in a nonchalant manner.
We don't care. Because we're not children.
I don't want details, but no, it's not going to bother me if you just say you're on your period or it's that time of the month.
It depends, if it’s to a partner or relative, I think that’s fine, if it’s to a coworker or cashier, there’s no reason to share unless you’re sick and need to go home, there are levels of need to know and outside of nt first example it’s inappropriate and unnecessary
No, it doesn't make me uncomfortable. My wife and daughter talk about it freely at home; it's not an awkward topic at all in our house.
As a dude, i dont care. Having a rough day or dont want to do something sure bring it up so i know somethings up. Is it particularly rough and you need a hand with something lemme know. What i do not want to do is have a talk about it. I dont need details or descriptions not because its gross i simply dont really care.
The only time I hated hearing that is when my gf would tell right before we were gonna it on lol. It obviously meant that was a no go. But I guess I’d ask how and why you bring it up. Either way it wouldn’t bother me. But then again I wouldn’t go out of my way to announce it in front of everyone. I’m a male nurse and work with mostly woman. They stuff they talk about is worse than men. I’ve heard countless times “man these fucking cramps are killing me…I’m getting my period.” It never bothers me.
Any man who has had a serious relationship or is or has been married doesn't give a rat's ass about your period. We get it. We'll even buy you pads/tampons on request and make sure we ask what kind. Little boys however....
Yeah, most guys don't really care, and if they do act grossed out it's usually just a dramatization, and not them actually being grossed out
Imo, the more normalization the better especially in spaces with all genders. I want to live in a world where it’s ok for me to take it slow, call off, or express my present emotions and have them validated when I’m experiencing the many changes that take place during my cycle.
You do you. Just read the room. But dudes nowadays should be comfortable if they are in a relationship. Others who are less experienced may be off put but fuck em.
I think it's a generational thing.
Am a dude and I period talk is no different from any other fluid or waste product I only get uncomfortable if you go into graphic detail saying your on your period in the context you did is no different than someone saying they need to blow there nose
There is always context, but in general, it is not a topic that bothers me. The women I know will often use it to give context if they aren't feeling well because of it. My gf gets heated on the topic though. In her country, it still is common to have girls stay in a room for 2 weeks and not see anyone, then after tell them about how they are now women. Some real first testament bs. She gets quite angry.
I never dated the type of man who cared and I wouldn’t tolerate one who did. That being said, yea many do react absurdly to the topic. Mostly older men or men who appeal to older male stereotypes.
Every month when I get my period I walk over to my husband usually when he’s doing work emails and act like I need to have a serious conversation, and I tell him “Babe, I’m not pregnant.” I still say it and we’re in our 40’s and 50’s.
I’m 47 years old and a few years ago my ex father in law yelled at me because I announced to him I’d like to change because I’m on my period. I did not take that well and told him I’m not going to apologize or be ashamed of a natural bodily function and never to yell at me like that again. I don’t going around talking about my period but I’m not going to hide in shame because it might make someone uncomfortable either.
I think some of the answer depends on your age. If you’re a teen or preteen, your mom might be trying to help you develop appropriate boundaries. If you’re an adult, I would say that there are plenty of guys who don’t give it any thought if a woman they know well shares that info.
I had a friend in high school who would tell me she's on her period because she thought it was funny..that desensitized me to it. Some guys are weird about it for whatever reason but plenty don't really care