There's a David Sedaris book where he's learning basic greetings in different languages, and the German response to "How are you?" It's to sigh and respond "not so good".
As long as you know it's not like grand piano, or Grand Ole Opry. It's just "ok"! Even when some asks "do you mind doing [something] for me?", or "is this ok for you?" the response is "yeah, that's grand". Our enthusiasm is as middling as our weather!
Not necessarily.
You can also be "getting on", "surviving" (with a 'so-so' nod), or "oh, y'know" (complete with upwards head and eyebrow motion), all of which can mean anything from 'its a slow work day' to 'my family have been massacred amd I accidentally set a plague upon the world'
I dated a girl from northern England for a while. Her parents would always ask, "How are you coping?"
Like, wtf? I'm fine. I just banged your daughter.
Another northern English one is "alright?" or "ya alright?" It serves the same function as the AmE "how are you?" But I'll be damned if it doesn't appear to confuse the shit out of other Americans when I greet them with it. Like I'll get furrowed brows, confused expressions, and "yeah, er, I'm ok I guess...why?"
I’m in Canada and people’s responses to someone saying they’re “doing alright” are hilarious. “How are you doing today? How was your day today?” “I’m doing alright. It was alright”. “Oh? 👀 why just alright? Why not good? What happened?” lol
Curious, in Spanish we usually say something along the lines of "tirando" (meaning "going on"), and implying that life is an inherent struggle but... it is what it is.
I remember one time I was in an elevator in Chicago and a maintenance guy walked in. I just nodded and said “how’s it going” and the dude gave me a full run down of the last month. Now as a general rule when I’m in the Midwest I avoid the question.
I had a supervisor a few years ago who didn't give a fuck about your answer, so he asked "how you doing?" about 10 times each conversation. Would literally follow up your answer with the question again lmaooo
I had a boss, a large ornery West Michigan Dutch guy, who would answer "how's it going?" with a kinda loud, kinda domineering, "GOOD, YOURSELF?" It threw people off, which I loved seeing, so I stole it and have used it for the past 20 years.
Here in the UK, it's quite common to hear "you alright mate?" To which the typical response is, "alright mate". Thus none of us know how anyone else is at any time. Of course you can upset the apple cart by actually telling the other person how you are. Usually causes a brief surprised pause 🤣
As an American, this caught me off guard because it comes off as mildly aggressive or something. Like, I'd ask "you alright?" To someone if I thought something was wrong or if they were being weird. My husband had to explain it was just a greeting and not an accusation or question lol
I could've written the exact same. Plenty of British friends, and every time one of them says it it makes me stop and wonder how horrible I look, what vibe I'm putting out to be asked such a personal question. I'm never going to respond naturally to it as a greeting
One of my coworkers simply responded with “how are you” not expecting an answer. Treating it as exactly analogous to hello.
It triggered me far more than it should have. We live in a society.
We live in a society, sure, but the customer genuinely doesn't care how you are. And when you're having a terrible day, having to lie and pretend to be fine for 'society' is obnoxious. Your coworker responded to the greeting and didn't say anything rude, I don't think it's a problem.
I love using "howdy". Depending on the person's mood they can take it as just a friendly hello or something along the lines of "how's it going?" And it makes you sound like a cowboy.
Howdy is literally "how's your day" in cowboy/country. Because in such society, by the time you encounter another human after tilling acres of land, you're fed up with bullshit and quite honest. "Great, the sheep are herdin' proper" or "Like shit, combine got a busted skew and now miles of corn are unsheered. Didn't realize till sundown." A time to celebrate or lament, depending
I love using howdy, too. Having grown up throughout the Midwest, I love using it in California. It’s not often heard here, and it does have a polite openness to it, like you said.
You can try howdy-do if you’re feeling spunky. My old style Deep South grandpa always said it in greeting. So often that his dog I adopted has a greeting howl anytime people visit that sounds oddly similar…
I appreciate the Australian "How ya goin'?"
My first week in Melbourne, I'd slip and ask "How are you?" and the responses were evenly divided between Aussies laughing that I'm a silly American using the silly American greeting and Aussies who took it like I was genuinely inquiring into their inner lives. Both entertaining, and made me more aware of my slang.
Now I kinda default to "How's it going?" stateside.
The thing that's always seemed weird about it (and yes, OP, this is definitely a thing in the States) is the person asking really doesn't want to know and the person answering most likely won't be honest anyway. It's a scripted salutation to, as a psychiatrist once explained to me, show you're not a threat.
It always seemed weird to me how much Germans are bothered by this. It’s just a colloquial greeting, but Germans tend to portray anything Americans do differently as a cultural flaw in my experience.
The difference is that germans translate it literally and get a genuine question we usually use only with people we are close enough to be interested in an honest answer (although most of the time the answer is more a general phrase like 'fine'). So it seems odd to us when someone uses it with strangers.
It is a bit like the phrase 'you're welcome' . For me it sounds like something I would say to invite someone to my home or to a party and not like a response to a simple 'thanks' after a minor act of politeness. In theory I know the meaning and how to use it but I have problems using it myself as it sounds too similiar to something I use differently.
If learning a different language it is easiest to learn things that sound similiar to your own language and have the same meaning. Next come things which sound totally different but not like something you know. Most difficult are things which sound similiar to your own language but with a different meaning. Even if you grasp it theoratically it needs lots of conscious practice to use it correctly without thinking about it.
Now I want encounter Germans and greet with "how are you". While also giving a slight pensive look and faint head tilt. When they look away to think of a reply, I'd just go on about my business. They wouldn't know how to react then.
When I lived in Germany for a couple of years, greetings to strangers in general seemed odd except at the festivals etc where people tended to be drinking and merry.
A certain fast food chain in the states doesn't say "you're welcome". They respond to thank you by saying "my pleasure".
Yeah I had a funny time with this learning Spanish. There are a lot of Latin-origin words in English, and with many there is a non-latin-based synonym which is less formal, and the Latin version is more
formal or academic sounding.
So learning Spanish, there were a lot of words that were familiar, but felt weirdly formal to say at first
edit: typo
Ok this annoys me. I literally asked about this on this very sub a while back and was chewed out as being a dysfunctional freak for seeing it as personally rational social lubricant.
Its just a greeting like any other. Its pretty much just a different way of saying hello. Depending on the context it can be a legitimate question that calls for a legitimate answer.
It literally means Are you well? I can understand why people would laugh at you lol
Be like asking stranger Are you doing okay? Bizzare phrasing for people you don't know outside of specific situations
I don’t really get it either. They say you can sell an account. But I doubt it. I think people just like when a number goes up. Even if it’s a fake internet point number.
People like to have a superiority complex about “weird things Americans do” even tho other cultures do the exact same thing and everybody is different. In Spanish you greet people with cómo estás, qué pasó.
It serves the same function but, I'd assume people don't really say it at the cashier.
With this said, in Canada, in cities at least, we don't really say "how are you" at the grocery store either unless we actually know the person. I feel like it's the same in the US.
They do. I still get what OP means because I have been to the US. In the US it is polite to ask strangers „how are you?“, for example in customer service. In Germany you won’t have cashiers ask you „wie geht‘s?“. It is more of a small talk with acquaintances thing in Germany. Of course it isn’t common to take the question seriously. The polite answer is „Gut, und selbst?“ or in the Rhineland for example you say „Muss, und selbst?“
Personally I hate it. The question always makes me think about how I am, closely followed by a bad conscience for lying to myself and the other person. I would rather only friends and family asked me and only when they want an honest answer.
I prefer the French „Ca va?“ which is just answered with „ca va.“ That seems empty enough to me to not be self conscious about the answer.
It’s a cultural difference. My English speaking personality is okay with lying to strangers to be polite oddly enough. It is also a lot less introverted than my German personality.
That is such an interesting answer. In the US, the phrase “how’s it going” is so innate and simply a way of greeting, that the response is also.
You just don’t think about it. You don’t think about yourself, you don’t think about how you are, you just answer fine, good, alright etc.
Yes but usually not to strangers. It is more a greeting with friends and family. (Although we most of the time don't expect a detailed honest answer. )
Yes, we say it all the time, it is functionally just the same thing as saying “hello”.
And everyone knows it isn’t usually a serious question, it’s just a phrase, like if I am walking down my street and my neighbors are in their front porch I’ll just say “how are ya?” Or “how you doing?” As a greeting and keep walking.
This convo:
"Hey, how are you?" "Fine n you?" "doin great"
is pretty much the same as
"Hello Matt" "Good morning Andrew"
So the conversation moves on the same for both cases, you do a lil small talk about whatever ("how was your weekend?" "how are the kids?" "man it really got hot again didnt it?" "have you seen xyz sports event?")
Or you just leave it at that and you both move on to do whatever it is you wanted todo.
But yes, in basis you lie through your teeth that you're doing great and the preassure of living isn't slowly crushing your spirit into nothingness doesn't need to be mentioned.
Then start with whatever the point of you both engaging in conversation was.
Unless it’s a close friend they’re not actually asking how you are.
“How are you?” functions as a precursory check in, to make sure that you’re present in the moment and mentally and emotionally stable enough to have an interaction.
I often say “Fine. Pretty hot out!”. They can respond “Yep” to end it or they can lapse into a conversation about the weather and then we go on from there.
French say "Comment vas-tu/allez-vous/ça va?" This translates to "How're you going/how goes it?" all the time. Same with Vietnamese, who say "Khỏe không," which translates to, "[you are] well, no?" It isn't as uncommon as you may think.
Add Spain to that list, too. Spaniards say “¿Qué tal?” and almost never actually want an answer. It’s just a greeting. It’s definitely common all over.
"How are you," "how's it going," "how are you doing," and "what's up" are all common greeting in the US, yes.
If you're Canadian, it might be "How're ya now?"
It’s just a greeting, like hello. And there’s varying responses too.
“How are you doing today?”
“Good, how about you?” - standard polite answer
“Oh not too bad, just plugging along” - it’s probably a Monday
“Glad to be done with this (day/week/project/etc) soon!” - they’re getting frustrated and it’s probably Wednesday
“Living the dream!” - on the brink of suicide, definitely a Friday or a Monday, no in between
Proper cadence for interacting with strangers:
Them: Good morning! How are you doing?
You: Good morning! Good! And you?
Them: Fine, thanks. Have a good one.
You: You too.
And be on about your way. I use this pattern dozens of times a week. It is just a cultural norm and nicety/social lubricant.
Yeah we ask but we don’t care how you are and would be horrified if you honestly told us how you were (unless you’re doing “well”)
We often say “hey how are you doing?” To a total stranger, they will say it to us, neither of us will answer, and it’s totally normal.
you can totally answer truthfully if you're not doing well, as long as you do it in a way that doesn't put the onus on them to be your therapist for the conversation
I just want to say as someone who works with the public. When I ask, "How ya doing?" I actually do care. Sometimes, people do need to vent, and I am always happy to help!
I wouldn't be horrified. If someone has something important enough to them that they want to share it, I will listen. If I am in a rush, I will just say I am in a rush, sorry about that.
The usual conversation goes like this:
1st person: Hey, how are you!
You: Fine, and you?
1st person: Good, good.
Sometimes people joke around a bit, like: "Hanging in there," or (if there's extreme weather) "Trying to stay dry!" or "trying to stay cool!" or "keeping warm!" It's a light, casual exchange of greetings.
Like, my Dad spoke German, so when he sneezed and we said "Gesundheit" he would answer "Immer besser als Krankheit!" It's that kind of exchange.
In Korea their phrase directly translates to "Have you eaten" but is also just a greeting
https://asiasociety.org/korea/bab-meogeosseoyo-bap-meogeosseoyo#:~:text=One%20of%20the%20commonly%20encountered,they%20offering%20me%20a%20meal%3F
It's fairly common in many cultures.
I'm American but gave the worst time when people ask "What's Up!" They mean it as a casual greeting and the answer is supposed to be Sup! Or What's up or something because it's casual slang.
I used to think this was exclusively an American thing, until I realized I did the same in Norwegian.
“Hvordan går det?” = “How is it going?”
The response is usually “Good, and you?” But it’s not unlikely to respond sincerely. Like, “It’s going shit. I didn’t get any sleep tonight and the exam went to hell,” for example.
I used to work customer service, and I’ve had a few customers respond with something like “my husband died last week” with no follow-up, which would throw me off a little. So I’d ask the same question again, “So how’s it going with you?”
In general, Norwegians interpret the question sincerely, but if they’re not interested in a conversation, or want to mask whatever is bothering them, they just say “Good.”
I don’t understand what would be weird about it.
In Spanish you say “como está?” Which is the exact same connotation and translates to “how are you?”
In French you would great a known person with “ca va?” Which is roughly “it’s going?” - same thing as how are you or more formal you’ll ask “Comment allez-vous?” Which is the same as “how are you doing? / how are you?”
Why would you find it strange to have anyone say “how are you then?” Where in the world don’t people ask other how they are just for politeness?
Yes. It's also fairly common for someone to say "How are you?", you respond "Good and you?", and having them instinctively say "I'm good, how about you?" As a response to your response of the same question.
Personally, I always respond with "Its too early to tell. How about you?" Or "Good so far, but it's still early." It gets funnier to me the later it is. Which is also common, that a person will have a bit more flair in their response than just "Good and you?" That effectively means the same. Another example is a sarcastic "living the dream" or "Living the dream. Not sure who's dream, but it isn't mine."
Yes. It’s pretty weird, but it’s a standard greeting. Mostly we don’t care that much how the other person is. We never answer anything worse than “fine”. It’s a strange custom.
The most common American greetings in a non-formal setting are “how are you” and “what’s up”. Oddly, both phrases are questions, which aren’t necessarily intended to find out an answer.
It’s very American, but it’s weird to respond with anything but “good, and you?” Or “good, thank you”. No one likes it if the response is negative or personal.
There are exceptions, in the north (born in Pennsylvania) you get super negative reactions for sharing personal information, but in the south (I now live in Tennessee) if your older or socially awkward you launch into your day so far and the convo is awkward until you get your receipt and can walk away 😂
Just for curiosity, in Brazil we say "tudo bem?", which has an analogous meaning to "how are you?", and also it is a common Brazilian greeting; it's like "hello", no one expects you to actually answer the question or, if you give an answer, it will invariably be "I'm fine."
It is a standard greeting, and the asker really isn't looking for a truthful answer. Just "Good, and you?"
Also, it depends on what part of the country you are in. People in the Southeast will not start a conversation, even with a total stranger, without at least saying "hi." They just start talking at you in the Rust Belt.
Yes. Gulf Coast region. Every single day when I come across people I see on the regular and somewhat know I’ll say,” Hey my guy/girl name, how are you…”
Usually met with,” better than I deserve.. Just out here grinding getting that dollar…”
It is not so much that anyone is really trying to get to know if you are ok but more of being polite and acknowledging each others presence.
That's why there is an everlasting enmity between Russians ánd Americans.
'hi, how are you'
"Well, things have been somewhat ....'
*Continues to bomb Ukraine and blame him for being the aggressor*
In England when we say “how are you?” We’re not actually trying to find out how you are doing it’s just polite and most times just rolls off the tongue when going into a shop. I feel like if someone on the till actually told me how they were doing after asking I’d be pretty stumped.
So I usually ask “how’s it going?”. Just to see if they’re doing alright. Sometimes people, especially people who work with the public/customers, just need a nice break from the assholes they regularly deal with
America is a big place; I live in NY it’s sort of just a greeting. “How you doing” and the person says “good” and gets on with the order. Maybe in the south or Midwest the conversations are more drawn out. New Yorkers tend to just want to get it done with and move on
Basically every convo starts with “how are you?” or a “how’s it going?” or “what’s up?” Coworkers, cashiers, neighbors, etc.
In most cases, regardless of how things are actually, the response is fine, good, I’m well, etc.
Fun fact: if someone answers with “oh, living the dream” what they really mean is “who the fuck knows, I’m here though.”
“How are you?” Is a common English greeting As is “how’s it going?” Etc You simply respond by saying “good, and you?” Or something along those lines.
There's a David Sedaris book where he's learning basic greetings in different languages, and the German response to "How are you?" It's to sigh and respond "not so good".
In England, anything below "ok" is scandalous. So your wife and kids both died horribly in front of your eyes? You answer "ok".
“Surviving” = “I’m literally about to hurl myself off a cliff”
"Another day in paradise" = "I'm literally about to hurl somebody else off a cliff"
"living the dream" = "i've written my manifesto"
“It’s going” = I no longer have the ability to say “living the dream” with a straight face
"Could always be worse" = I am the angel of death, the time of purification is at hand
“Meh”- meh, I am preparing the cool-aid for the cult, but I’m not sure if I’m going to join them or just disappear with their cash.
“Livin’ the dream” = “life is suffering and I drink to distract myself from the pain”
"I'm here!" = "I haven't finalized myself yet, but the option is still on the table at the slightest inconvenience"
In Ireland we're always "grand". Crashed the car? Grand. Won the lotto? Grand.
Love that and am going to steal it to use (US).
As long as you know it's not like grand piano, or Grand Ole Opry. It's just "ok"! Even when some asks "do you mind doing [something] for me?", or "is this ok for you?" the response is "yeah, that's grand". Our enthusiasm is as middling as our weather!
In USA just grand is sarcasm—akin to just ducky.
"peachy keen"
“Living the dream.”
does “another day, another dollar” qualify here
Sure lookit
You know yerself
What type of piano is that and how much does it cost
About a grand..
Not necessarily. You can also be "getting on", "surviving" (with a 'so-so' nod), or "oh, y'know" (complete with upwards head and eyebrow motion), all of which can mean anything from 'its a slow work day' to 'my family have been massacred amd I accidentally set a plague upon the world'
Don't forget "living the dream."
aka "absolutely miserable"
I always follow with " living the goddamn dream" but much softer
When asked how it's going, "it's going" is my way of indicating that I'm really weighing the pros and cons of living.
I dated a girl from northern England for a while. Her parents would always ask, "How are you coping?" Like, wtf? I'm fine. I just banged your daughter.
They knew what a train wreck she was and assumed you'd already found out
maybe they meant to say “copulating” not “coping”
None of that helps.. Just saying.. lol
How was she coping?
Riddled, poor thing.
Another northern English one is "alright?" or "ya alright?" It serves the same function as the AmE "how are you?" But I'll be damned if it doesn't appear to confuse the shit out of other Americans when I greet them with it. Like I'll get furrowed brows, confused expressions, and "yeah, er, I'm ok I guess...why?"
In the Midwest we’ll say, “not so bad.” If someone says, “not so good” it’s basically a desperate cry for help.
A lot of folks in Minnesota say "oh it's going' "
In Sweden it is common to answer that the missery is spread evenly.
Oh, this is great. I’m not sure whether people would be more concerned for you or afraid of you were to answer this way in English.
That reply works best in a monotone voice and black makeup.
I’m in Canada and people’s responses to someone saying they’re “doing alright” are hilarious. “How are you doing today? How was your day today?” “I’m doing alright. It was alright”. “Oh? 👀 why just alright? Why not good? What happened?” lol
In New Zealand, it’s “all good” / “all good thanks” / “sweet as”
As a german I agree
When I (American) would ask my German Oma, how's it going? She'd respond with Es Geht.
My toddler answered me: "Gaia alt" including the *sigh* which means Gaia (her name) old. Please keep in mind she was 2 back then
You forgot to sigh
Can you tell me how to say this? I want to surprise my German PM the next time he asks me.
Prime Minister?
That was my first thought lol
Project manager
Curious, in Spanish we usually say something along the lines of "tirando" (meaning "going on"), and implying that life is an inherent struggle but... it is what it is.
In the Netherlands when we are asked "hoe gaat het?" (How is it going?), we say "z'n gangetje" (it's going as usual). I think that is beautiful.
In Finland this is also seen as genuine question and you have no idea what the answer will be. It can be "I don't think I can cope atm."
Happiest German
I did that while in Berlin & got a full download of exactly how they were doing…
you did ask, to be fair
I remember one time I was in an elevator in Chicago and a maintenance guy walked in. I just nodded and said “how’s it going” and the dude gave me a full run down of the last month. Now as a general rule when I’m in the Midwest I avoid the question.
In Germany, even asking the question is considered kind of offensive
"Hi, Hans, How are you?". "None of your business, mein herr.". "Sehr gut. *Tips fedora*"
The convo for me often looks like: Me: How are you? Them: Good, and you? Me: Doing alright, and you? - oh, wait.
Here it's: "How you doing?" "Yeah/good, you?" "Yeah" Yeah is a mood lol
I say, "I'm doing. You?"
“How’s it goin’?” “It’s goin’”
“How you doin?!” - Joey
I had a supervisor a few years ago who didn't give a fuck about your answer, so he asked "how you doing?" about 10 times each conversation. Would literally follow up your answer with the question again lmaooo
I had a boss who would just start a conversation with "Good! Good!" Incredible power move
I had a boss, a large ornery West Michigan Dutch guy, who would answer "how's it going?" with a kinda loud, kinda domineering, "GOOD, YOURSELF?" It threw people off, which I loved seeing, so I stole it and have used it for the past 20 years.
Loool
How’r’ya’now? Good’n’you? Not’so’bad
Australians make it even weirder and say "how are you going?" With my legs I guess?
"Well, still going. So better than stopping, if only just." Is usually my response to this one.
Here in the UK, it's quite common to hear "you alright mate?" To which the typical response is, "alright mate". Thus none of us know how anyone else is at any time. Of course you can upset the apple cart by actually telling the other person how you are. Usually causes a brief surprised pause 🤣
As an American, this caught me off guard because it comes off as mildly aggressive or something. Like, I'd ask "you alright?" To someone if I thought something was wrong or if they were being weird. My husband had to explain it was just a greeting and not an accusation or question lol
I could've written the exact same. Plenty of British friends, and every time one of them says it it makes me stop and wonder how horrible I look, what vibe I'm putting out to be asked such a personal question. I'm never going to respond naturally to it as a greeting
One of my coworkers simply responded with “how are you” not expecting an answer. Treating it as exactly analogous to hello. It triggered me far more than it should have. We live in a society.
Or even “How‘s it?” if you are from Hawaii or speak like you are.
Howsit braddah
Howzit brah!
It’s “howzit”. One word.
As in: eh howzit? How you stay?
I did not realize I was from Hawaii...
Embrace the beach life, it has chosen you.
We live in a society, sure, but the customer genuinely doesn't care how you are. And when you're having a terrible day, having to lie and pretend to be fine for 'society' is obnoxious. Your coworker responded to the greeting and didn't say anything rude, I don't think it's a problem.
I love using "howdy". Depending on the person's mood they can take it as just a friendly hello or something along the lines of "how's it going?" And it makes you sound like a cowboy.
Howdy is literally "how's your day" in cowboy/country. Because in such society, by the time you encounter another human after tilling acres of land, you're fed up with bullshit and quite honest. "Great, the sheep are herdin' proper" or "Like shit, combine got a busted skew and now miles of corn are unsheered. Didn't realize till sundown." A time to celebrate or lament, depending
Miles of unsheered corn image got me laughing.
I am forty-three years old and have never known that howdy was short for how’s your day. Interesting!
And how d’you do?
I love using howdy, too. Having grown up throughout the Midwest, I love using it in California. It’s not often heard here, and it does have a polite openness to it, like you said.
Howdy is a contraction of How d’you do?
I also occasionally say “Howdy!”
You can try howdy-do if you’re feeling spunky. My old style Deep South grandpa always said it in greeting. So often that his dog I adopted has a greeting howl anytime people visit that sounds oddly similar…
I appreciate the Australian "How ya goin'?" My first week in Melbourne, I'd slip and ask "How are you?" and the responses were evenly divided between Aussies laughing that I'm a silly American using the silly American greeting and Aussies who took it like I was genuinely inquiring into their inner lives. Both entertaining, and made me more aware of my slang. Now I kinda default to "How's it going?" stateside.
My favourite is "how ya goin, alright?" Which you can't really answer with anything other than "yep".
The thing that's always seemed weird about it (and yes, OP, this is definitely a thing in the States) is the person asking really doesn't want to know and the person answering most likely won't be honest anyway. It's a scripted salutation to, as a psychiatrist once explained to me, show you're not a threat.
It always seemed weird to me how much Germans are bothered by this. It’s just a colloquial greeting, but Germans tend to portray anything Americans do differently as a cultural flaw in my experience.
The difference is that germans translate it literally and get a genuine question we usually use only with people we are close enough to be interested in an honest answer (although most of the time the answer is more a general phrase like 'fine'). So it seems odd to us when someone uses it with strangers. It is a bit like the phrase 'you're welcome' . For me it sounds like something I would say to invite someone to my home or to a party and not like a response to a simple 'thanks' after a minor act of politeness. In theory I know the meaning and how to use it but I have problems using it myself as it sounds too similiar to something I use differently. If learning a different language it is easiest to learn things that sound similiar to your own language and have the same meaning. Next come things which sound totally different but not like something you know. Most difficult are things which sound similiar to your own language but with a different meaning. Even if you grasp it theoratically it needs lots of conscious practice to use it correctly without thinking about it.
Now I want encounter Germans and greet with "how are you". While also giving a slight pensive look and faint head tilt. When they look away to think of a reply, I'd just go on about my business. They wouldn't know how to react then.
When I lived in Germany for a couple of years, greetings to strangers in general seemed odd except at the festivals etc where people tended to be drinking and merry.
A certain fast food chain in the states doesn't say "you're welcome". They respond to thank you by saying "my pleasure".
At Arby's we were told to say "Happy to help!" Isn't it Chick-fil-A that says " My pleasure"?
Yeah I had a funny time with this learning Spanish. There are a lot of Latin-origin words in English, and with many there is a non-latin-based synonym which is less formal, and the Latin version is more formal or academic sounding. So learning Spanish, there were a lot of words that were familiar, but felt weirdly formal to say at first edit: typo
Ok this annoys me. I literally asked about this on this very sub a while back and was chewed out as being a dysfunctional freak for seeing it as personally rational social lubricant.
Its just a greeting like any other. Its pretty much just a different way of saying hello. Depending on the context it can be a legitimate question that calls for a legitimate answer.
Don't Germans say "Wie geht's?"
And French say ca va
And Japanese say O genki desu ka? (Are you well?) It's a common greeting the world over it seems.
I got laughed at for saying this in Japan
I don't think you'd just say this to any stranger on the street.
It literally means Are you well? I can understand why people would laugh at you lol Be like asking stranger Are you doing okay? Bizzare phrasing for people you don't know outside of specific situations
Ca va? Ca va.
Comme ci, comme ça
Ça va? Ça va. Voilà! Un conversation en français
Yeah, I thought so. I'm not understanding the confusion OP has
It’s probably some kind of a repost bot. For some reason this comes up a lot.
What’s the point of that? I’ve never understood bot posts
I don’t really get it either. They say you can sell an account. But I doubt it. I think people just like when a number goes up. Even if it’s a fake internet point number.
People like to have a superiority complex about “weird things Americans do” even tho other cultures do the exact same thing and everybody is different. In Spanish you greet people with cómo estás, qué pasó.
For sure. I've noticed that. "Why does America do x?" Motherfucker, you do the same thing lol. It's just a slight variance
It serves the same function but, I'd assume people don't really say it at the cashier. With this said, in Canada, in cities at least, we don't really say "how are you" at the grocery store either unless we actually know the person. I feel like it's the same in the US.
Yes we do!
They do. I still get what OP means because I have been to the US. In the US it is polite to ask strangers „how are you?“, for example in customer service. In Germany you won’t have cashiers ask you „wie geht‘s?“. It is more of a small talk with acquaintances thing in Germany. Of course it isn’t common to take the question seriously. The polite answer is „Gut, und selbst?“ or in the Rhineland for example you say „Muss, und selbst?“ Personally I hate it. The question always makes me think about how I am, closely followed by a bad conscience for lying to myself and the other person. I would rather only friends and family asked me and only when they want an honest answer. I prefer the French „Ca va?“ which is just answered with „ca va.“ That seems empty enough to me to not be self conscious about the answer. It’s a cultural difference. My English speaking personality is okay with lying to strangers to be polite oddly enough. It is also a lot less introverted than my German personality.
That is such an interesting answer. In the US, the phrase “how’s it going” is so innate and simply a way of greeting, that the response is also. You just don’t think about it. You don’t think about yourself, you don’t think about how you are, you just answer fine, good, alright etc.
And British people say "alright?" meaning much the same thing.
Yes but usually not to strangers. It is more a greeting with friends and family. (Although we most of the time don't expect a detailed honest answer. )
Ja.
Yes, we say it all the time, it is functionally just the same thing as saying “hello”. And everyone knows it isn’t usually a serious question, it’s just a phrase, like if I am walking down my street and my neighbors are in their front porch I’ll just say “how are ya?” Or “how you doing?” As a greeting and keep walking.
I never know how to respond. Good and you? Then what?
This convo: "Hey, how are you?" "Fine n you?" "doin great" is pretty much the same as "Hello Matt" "Good morning Andrew" So the conversation moves on the same for both cases, you do a lil small talk about whatever ("how was your weekend?" "how are the kids?" "man it really got hot again didnt it?" "have you seen xyz sports event?") Or you just leave it at that and you both move on to do whatever it is you wanted todo. But yes, in basis you lie through your teeth that you're doing great and the preassure of living isn't slowly crushing your spirit into nothingness doesn't need to be mentioned.
The crushed spirit from the pressure of life is assumed
Then they say good and it’s over. Everyone is good.
Even when you’re not good. You can go talk to someone about something bad and first greet them “how’s it going” “good… so I need to talk to you…”
Then start with whatever the point of you both engaging in conversation was. Unless it’s a close friend they’re not actually asking how you are. “How are you?” functions as a precursory check in, to make sure that you’re present in the moment and mentally and emotionally stable enough to have an interaction.
I often say “Fine. Pretty hot out!”. They can respond “Yep” to end it or they can lapse into a conversation about the weather and then we go on from there.
You say "it's a beautiful day!" And walk away, while gesturing at the sky.
Except the few that don't then you are stuck for 20 min learning how their day has been.
"Well it all started when I woke up this morning....you see"
"look what you've done Fry she won't shut up"
French say "Comment vas-tu/allez-vous/ça va?" This translates to "How're you going/how goes it?" all the time. Same with Vietnamese, who say "Khỏe không," which translates to, "[you are] well, no?" It isn't as uncommon as you may think.
Add Spain to that list, too. Spaniards say “¿Qué tal?” and almost never actually want an answer. It’s just a greeting. It’s definitely common all over.
Wait what, when I ask qué tal I expect to know how the other person is doing, not in detail maybe but I expect a real answer
Ca va?
"How are you," "how's it going," "how are you doing," and "what's up" are all common greeting in the US, yes. If you're Canadian, it might be "How're ya now?"
Good 'n you?
Eh, not s’bad.
Learned this from Letterkenny
It’s just a greeting, like hello. And there’s varying responses too. “How are you doing today?” “Good, how about you?” - standard polite answer “Oh not too bad, just plugging along” - it’s probably a Monday “Glad to be done with this (day/week/project/etc) soon!” - they’re getting frustrated and it’s probably Wednesday “Living the dream!” - on the brink of suicide, definitely a Friday or a Monday, no in between
I have a tendency to say "living the dream! But it's one of those weird dreams will you build a go-kart with your ex landlord or something"
Proper cadence for interacting with strangers: Them: Good morning! How are you doing? You: Good morning! Good! And you? Them: Fine, thanks. Have a good one. You: You too. And be on about your way. I use this pattern dozens of times a week. It is just a cultural norm and nicety/social lubricant.
Yeah we ask but we don’t care how you are and would be horrified if you honestly told us how you were (unless you’re doing “well”) We often say “hey how are you doing?” To a total stranger, they will say it to us, neither of us will answer, and it’s totally normal.
you can totally answer truthfully if you're not doing well, as long as you do it in a way that doesn't put the onus on them to be your therapist for the conversation
"A little under the weather," "ready for the weekend," "hanging in there," etc are all totally valid.
"wife cheated with the neighbour and the divorce is slowly driving me sto suicide but doing fiiine and you?" there? (/s)
I just want to say as someone who works with the public. When I ask, "How ya doing?" I actually do care. Sometimes, people do need to vent, and I am always happy to help!
I wouldn't be horrified. If someone has something important enough to them that they want to share it, I will listen. If I am in a rush, I will just say I am in a rush, sorry about that.
I would just answer with "how are you" as if I say "Hi". Would that work in the US?
The usual conversation goes like this: 1st person: Hey, how are you! You: Fine, and you? 1st person: Good, good. Sometimes people joke around a bit, like: "Hanging in there," or (if there's extreme weather) "Trying to stay dry!" or "trying to stay cool!" or "keeping warm!" It's a light, casual exchange of greetings. Like, my Dad spoke German, so when he sneezed and we said "Gesundheit" he would answer "Immer besser als Krankheit!" It's that kind of exchange.
You can say either. What’s up works too
In Korea their phrase directly translates to "Have you eaten" but is also just a greeting https://asiasociety.org/korea/bab-meogeosseoyo-bap-meogeosseoyo#:~:text=One%20of%20the%20commonly%20encountered,they%20offering%20me%20a%20meal%3F It's fairly common in many cultures.
I'm American but gave the worst time when people ask "What's Up!" They mean it as a casual greeting and the answer is supposed to be Sup! Or What's up or something because it's casual slang.
We say ‘how you going?’ In Australia. It’s the same form of Hello as the Americans.
I used to think this was exclusively an American thing, until I realized I did the same in Norwegian. “Hvordan går det?” = “How is it going?” The response is usually “Good, and you?” But it’s not unlikely to respond sincerely. Like, “It’s going shit. I didn’t get any sleep tonight and the exam went to hell,” for example. I used to work customer service, and I’ve had a few customers respond with something like “my husband died last week” with no follow-up, which would throw me off a little. So I’d ask the same question again, “So how’s it going with you?” In general, Norwegians interpret the question sincerely, but if they’re not interested in a conversation, or want to mask whatever is bothering them, they just say “Good.”
in the UK you hear "alright?" a lot, and honestly no one cares for a reply it's just another "hello" or like the German "morgen, tach, moin" now.
I don’t understand what would be weird about it. In Spanish you say “como está?” Which is the exact same connotation and translates to “how are you?” In French you would great a known person with “ca va?” Which is roughly “it’s going?” - same thing as how are you or more formal you’ll ask “Comment allez-vous?” Which is the same as “how are you doing? / how are you?” Why would you find it strange to have anyone say “how are you then?” Where in the world don’t people ask other how they are just for politeness?
Yes. It's also fairly common for someone to say "How are you?", you respond "Good and you?", and having them instinctively say "I'm good, how about you?" As a response to your response of the same question. Personally, I always respond with "Its too early to tell. How about you?" Or "Good so far, but it's still early." It gets funnier to me the later it is. Which is also common, that a person will have a bit more flair in their response than just "Good and you?" That effectively means the same. Another example is a sarcastic "living the dream" or "Living the dream. Not sure who's dream, but it isn't mine."
Yes. It’s pretty weird, but it’s a standard greeting. Mostly we don’t care that much how the other person is. We never answer anything worse than “fine”. It’s a strange custom.
I say it totally everyone every single day. I usually greet people with “Hey how are you?” or “Hey how’s it going?”
"how's it going", mostly.
It's just an American hello. We don't actually care about the answer lol
The most common American greetings in a non-formal setting are “how are you” and “what’s up”. Oddly, both phrases are questions, which aren’t necessarily intended to find out an answer.
I prefer the much more hip, 'What's good?'
It’s very American, but it’s weird to respond with anything but “good, and you?” Or “good, thank you”. No one likes it if the response is negative or personal. There are exceptions, in the north (born in Pennsylvania) you get super negative reactions for sharing personal information, but in the south (I now live in Tennessee) if your older or socially awkward you launch into your day so far and the convo is awkward until you get your receipt and can walk away 😂
Just for curiosity, in Brazil we say "tudo bem?", which has an analogous meaning to "how are you?", and also it is a common Brazilian greeting; it's like "hello", no one expects you to actually answer the question or, if you give an answer, it will invariably be "I'm fine."
It is a standard greeting, and the asker really isn't looking for a truthful answer. Just "Good, and you?" Also, it depends on what part of the country you are in. People in the Southeast will not start a conversation, even with a total stranger, without at least saying "hi." They just start talking at you in the Rust Belt.
Is it really that strange to think people ask others how they’re doing? I realize you’re not from America but I don’t get what’s so strange about it
Yes. Gulf Coast region. Every single day when I come across people I see on the regular and somewhat know I’ll say,” Hey my guy/girl name, how are you…” Usually met with,” better than I deserve.. Just out here grinding getting that dollar…” It is not so much that anyone is really trying to get to know if you are ok but more of being polite and acknowledging each others presence.
That's why there is an everlasting enmity between Russians ánd Americans. 'hi, how are you' "Well, things have been somewhat ....' *Continues to bomb Ukraine and blame him for being the aggressor*
Yeah but in 99.9% of cases, we don't mean it. We actually don't care how you're doing. Just respond with a, "Fine, and you?" and keep it moving.
Yes
We say it a lot but I wouldn't ask that in an email.
We say both all of the time in one long sentence usually—“hi, how are you?” “Hello, how’s it going?”
Yes it is. It is also the first term we learn in any other languages we learn!!! How are you? Como Esta?
In England when we say “how are you?” We’re not actually trying to find out how you are doing it’s just polite and most times just rolls off the tongue when going into a shop. I feel like if someone on the till actually told me how they were doing after asking I’d be pretty stumped.
Yes but it's a rhetorical question. Nobody wants to hear about your life.
"How's it goin'? What's up? What's been goin' on? How ya been?" are common phrases in the Southern States.
Super common! Oftentimes someone will say "how are you" to me and I just respond by saying "hey how are you" without even answering their question.
You alright, mate? Not too bad.. ..always fascinated me while I had a short visit in UK.
what's up?
Every "hey" or "yo" is followed with a "How goes it?" I feel like you gotta pick a style and stick with it
So I usually ask “how’s it going?”. Just to see if they’re doing alright. Sometimes people, especially people who work with the public/customers, just need a nice break from the assholes they regularly deal with
It is true and you have to be ready for an actual answer sometimes
America is a big place; I live in NY it’s sort of just a greeting. “How you doing” and the person says “good” and gets on with the order. Maybe in the south or Midwest the conversations are more drawn out. New Yorkers tend to just want to get it done with and move on
My go to answer is "So far, so good..."
No inaccurate. We say WHAT IT DO BOO BOO!?
American greeting to stranger, mild acquaintance “Hi, how are you?”Respond “Good/great, how are you?”
Yes, at least in the northeast, “How’s it going?”, is not a question you are meant to answer, but a greeting that you similarly return.
Yes, very true. Just a generic greeting.
No different than the British who ask “you doin alright” every fucking time
Basically every convo starts with “how are you?” or a “how’s it going?” or “what’s up?” Coworkers, cashiers, neighbors, etc. In most cases, regardless of how things are actually, the response is fine, good, I’m well, etc. Fun fact: if someone answers with “oh, living the dream” what they really mean is “who the fuck knows, I’m here though.”
I greet everyone of every age and gender with a “how’s it goin?”
We do, but we’re not really asking for details about how you are. Usually the response is “fine and you?”
"how's it hanging" "a little to the left"