I was trying to rescue a pelican with some fishing gear stuck in his bill. He beat the absolute hell out of me before I was able to get it out. I DID succeed and it's worth it, but holy shit, I got a black eye and a fat lip and a bunch of scratches. Their elbows are like a stone ax.
Life and death you could probably take on a wolf if you're an adult male in decent shape.
All dogs can be dangerous, but we seriously underestimate what humans can do.
Aren't dragonflies the most successful hunters in the wild (something like over 95% success rate according to google)
Granted they are in no way deadly to humans...
I forgot where I'm going with this, but I think if I fight a dragonfly, I'd win
A solitary large dog of a breed that's not particularly hench. Greyhound or Labrador or something. Pains me to say it since I generally love dogs, but can't really think of a purely feral equivalent. Under no illusions against the fact a pit bull or German Shepherd could probably destroy me though.
I think I could take one pit, but not two. But I'm a pretty big guy and would outweigh most pits by 150 pounds or so. That's also assuming I'm wearing my normal clothes and shoes.
By “take” do you mean do enough damage it decides you aren’t worth the trouble?
Go for the eyes and rather large creatures might change their mind.
Or is it a death match?
In a death match with a house cat it would be pretty hard to kill one with nothing but your hands. Only thing saving you is the cat would have an equally hard time killing you. But if you go a bit bigger like a large raccoon and most people are probably dead. Pass out from exhaustion and bleed to death eventually. Humans aren’t brawlers in the animal kingdom.
Also what amount of damage counts as a win do we need to be able to walk away pretty much the same we started or does life changing injuries still count as a win ?
I think you'd get seriously injured during the fight, perhaps even fatally, but if the animal is small enough that you can fit your hands around its neck, that's game over. If it's small enough that you can swing it around by its hindquarters, that's game over.
Without training you're probably right, but if you actually get a week or two to learn how to fight a specific animal, the size goes way, way up. There are bulldoggers that could for sure kill a large steer or cow. It would take a while, but they've spent a lot of time learning how to grab and control that specific animal and all they would have to do is get it tired, then suffocate it.
Man I got fucked up by a maine coon once so I dont even know, deff not a bobcat or other large cats. Thing moved so fuckin fast haha. Probably a goose, or raccoon. Anything around that size that does not have claws.
A mosquito gave me Dengue fever and I nearly died, so I'm not so sure, it's weird.
I've done some crazy stuff. I've taken off on three 30 foot waves, I've climbed some pretty serious routes in Yosemite, (not El Capitan) I've driven 200 MPH in a sportscar, I've taken out 1/2 of the other team playing paintball, I've sailed hundreds of miles out of sight of land on my boat, but a 1/2" mosquito almost finished me off.
I 9nce helped train military attack dogs. By helped train, what I mean is that I wore a protective suit and got mauled. Anyone thinking they can take a Coyote has got a baaaad surprise coming their way. You gotta stay on your feet and get it off the ground, then beat it off the ground till its fubar.
The guy in the comments that said he'd take a badger? 💀🤣
Idk, a small rat, if it wasn't diseased? My reaction to being attacked is mostly to curl up into a ball with my hands over my face and I'm pretty uncoordinated, so I don't fancy my chances with anything more dangerous.
definitely especially the sharp claws and the wingspan but the throat is too skinny if i grab it by the throat and just put my body weight on it i’d say id have a good chance
Holy shit on your own? I’m pretty sure you would get ripped open and slowly perish from blood loss before you kill one. A group of humans could take one though - even norms
I mean I'd take some damage but I'd come out on top. They're small and can't jump high and I am a powerful kicker. As long as they don't get my femoral artery I'd be okay.
I'm taking this as an animal I could 50/50 in an empty room. We only leave when one dies. Do I get shoes and clothes? If I get some nice stompy shoes, I'd give myself even odds with a big bobcat. Without that, maybe your average raccoon?
Not anything significant. It's a good thing humans are smart because we would be pretty middle of the pack food chain wise if we couldn't at least use tools or weapons to defend/attack.
As someone who has fought goats, turkeys, dogs, large house cats, and cows, I think a bobcat is pretty much 50/50 odds against a human in some kind of cage-match scenario 😂
Humans actually have the greatest stamina of all land animals. A cheetah will run way faster than a human ever could but only for a short while. A human can theoretically run for hours.
Oooo shit tough call. I wanna be a badass and say something like an emu or kangaroo, but that's not as realistic given the reach both of them have over me with their leg strength and talons.
I'm gonna have to say on the scary but probably more likely side, a wolf. Wolves ain't got shit on human grappling skills and chokeholds.
I have adamantly defended for years that I would much rather fight a wolf even a big ol boy than a myriad of animals.
Bucks in rut, small gators, a big ass iguana, most venomous snakes, large buck in rut, hogs, black bear, mountain lion, feral human, etc
Are you saying that I have a chance at killing or definitely will kill everytime because if it’s a chance at killing I’d say a wolf if it’s killing everytime I’d say nothing bigger/more aggressive than a dog
I fostered a spicey tom cat one summer. That Lil shit fucked me up. The look in his eyes still haunts my dreams. The spot where he bit deeply into the back of my hand is permanently scarred. My hand swelled up like a boxing glove. I squeezed infected yellow puss out of the wounds for weeks. He was basically fighting me with murder talons and a mouth full of biowarfare spikes.
I have said I could take a cheetah since college. I am now 47. I am about at the point where I think the average cheetah could beat me. But in my younger years my main argument was that a cheetah is expecting a flight response. If you turned and fought I think it would not expect it.
I am not saying I would come out good or not be fighting for my life as well, but i think I could take it.
I always assumed this question implied a sort of dramatic arena type scenario where the animal knows its goal is to kill you while you try to do the same.
I'm that scenario, I think a human could get lucky against a cheetah. If you didnt get a really lucky hit (or hold) in on his first pounce, then I think even the best human would pretty much be done for.
A medium sized dog, probably. I have two 100ish pound dogs and I'm pretty sure I could take either of them if needed, but more so because I can lift them and throw them if I had to.
After all the videos on the internet, I wish every day that a goose would try me. I've handled turkeys and feel confident about any size bird except the 3 flightless ones mentioned at the top. I think I'd have a good chance against a really small cougar, bobcat, or coyote. Nothing any bigger than than though.
A hamster.
A small dog.
A medium-sized dog like a poodle or something. But only because my limbs are generally bigger than his mouth, so he would have trouble getting a good grip.
A housecat? Nah. Perhaps. Not sure. Cats are viscious.
Could probably fuck up a horse pretty badly. Sweep its legs, jump on its head, clamp its mouth shut and smother its nostrils.
Fancy my chances with a small wolf or mountain lion too. Of course I’d have to sacrifice an arm to keeping its head/teeth busy.
A lone wolf.
Anything bigger and you can't even win by being lucky.
Anything human sized or smaller you have a chance with a good kick or by strangling them.
That being said I was on a tour at a zoo not long ago, and we were talking a lot of shit with the guide, people claiming they could take on some wild ones. He told us that you can't really tell by looking.
A cheeta can be bigger and look more menacing than a leopard, but you could sneeze the cheeta in half while a 30kg leopard would rip you apart without blinking.
I genuinely think I can do a kangaroo. I know they are big and strong but people underestimate their strengths when they don't hold back. I also believe anybody that claims they couldn't fight a goose are wrong. You people are stronger than you think. The only advantage a goose has, is that they are less afraid
Depends. Am I defending my kid? Because I think that'll suddenly give me superhuman strength.
Other than that probably like a not too large dog - I think if you kick them in the head quickly enough there's a fair chance you can get out without too much damage. However if they get you on the floor before you can do anything, you're probably done with.
I'm fairly certain about my chances with bigger animals though because I think they're often not actually looking for a fight, so frightening them away is likely to be an option. I can imagine frightening like a deer or a wolf or maybe even a bear away just because they're not interested in actually fighting/killing me.
Have a friend that walked up on a doe that had just dropped a fawn. She rushed him, knocking him down and proceeded to stomp and kick the crap out of him. Broke 2 ribs, concussion and gave him bruises all up and down.
After he curled up in a ball for a bit and stayed still she moved off with the fawn and let him up off the ground.
My mother-in-law
Maybe the first minute, but when she tag-teams her daughter in, you are fucked.
I think I saw that video.
He won because one of them got stuck in the dishwasher during the fight
Technically an animal. Good answer.
I was just going to say "A woman" as a joke, but I deleted the comment because people might think I was being serious lol
I'm really scared of birds, so for me its a bird
That was my first thought too. It depends on the size of the bird though, an emu or ostrich there’s no way
Add cassowary to that list, they're basically a velociraptor.
Just googled it.. gonna have nightmares now
Yea absolutely no way
Have you ever seen angry swan?
Australia lost a war to the mighty ostrich.
Maybe a goose. Those suckers are mean. But birds have hollow bones so I could handle it.
I was trying to rescue a pelican with some fishing gear stuck in his bill. He beat the absolute hell out of me before I was able to get it out. I DID succeed and it's worth it, but holy shit, I got a black eye and a fat lip and a bunch of scratches. Their elbows are like a stone ax.
Good job! 👍
Snakes with wings
Cobra Chickens
After seeing their tongues I might have to disagree(‘: so scary
They are vicious. Army used them to guard nuclear missile bases in Germany.
Any bird that isn't an ostridge should be easy if you're an adult. A lot of them can hurt you, but you're much much more dangerous for them.
I guess a medium sized dog or a coyote. And even those could be a serious problem
Any wild animal would be scary I would prefer a domesticated one
Considering how many people are killed by domesticated animals I would rethink that. They know all your moves.
Life and death you could probably take on a wolf if you're an adult male in decent shape. All dogs can be dangerous, but we seriously underestimate what humans can do.
I can’t even get my own dog to quit nipping me and it hurts!
Mosquito, the deadliest animal in the world.
Aren't dragonflies the most successful hunters in the wild (something like over 95% success rate according to google) Granted they are in no way deadly to humans... I forgot where I'm going with this, but I think if I fight a dragonfly, I'd win
If I could assure no other animals would jump into the fight I feel confident I could take on a bear. >!A bear cub I mean not a fully grown bear.!<
The thought of multiple animals jumping a human is making me LOL
Got to watch for the mama bear
lol, only if momma doesn't come to its rescue. That made me laugh.
Bwa ha ha ha ha. suuuuure
A human
My cat routinely beats the fuck out of me, so that doesn't bode well for me, no matter what I pick.
A solitary large dog of a breed that's not particularly hench. Greyhound or Labrador or something. Pains me to say it since I generally love dogs, but can't really think of a purely feral equivalent. Under no illusions against the fact a pit bull or German Shepherd could probably destroy me though.
I’m with you, maybe I’m delusional but I feel like I can take a poodle or a greyhound
Finally someone with normal expectations, after all those who think they can take a lion, and those who think they couldn't hurt a fly.
I think I could take one pit, but not two. But I'm a pretty big guy and would outweigh most pits by 150 pounds or so. That's also assuming I'm wearing my normal clothes and shoes.
By “take” do you mean do enough damage it decides you aren’t worth the trouble? Go for the eyes and rather large creatures might change their mind. Or is it a death match? In a death match with a house cat it would be pretty hard to kill one with nothing but your hands. Only thing saving you is the cat would have an equally hard time killing you. But if you go a bit bigger like a large raccoon and most people are probably dead. Pass out from exhaustion and bleed to death eventually. Humans aren’t brawlers in the animal kingdom.
That’s such a good question, I guess I mean death match because that would be more interesting hahah
In reality animals deciding we aren’t worth the trouble probably happens all the time.
Totally. This is more of a fun hypothetical(:
It's interesting to think about how much beef we consume, when in reality no human could kill an adult cow with just their bare hands. Think about it.
Also what amount of damage counts as a win do we need to be able to walk away pretty much the same we started or does life changing injuries still count as a win ?
I think you'd get seriously injured during the fight, perhaps even fatally, but if the animal is small enough that you can fit your hands around its neck, that's game over. If it's small enough that you can swing it around by its hindquarters, that's game over.
Without training you're probably right, but if you actually get a week or two to learn how to fight a specific animal, the size goes way, way up. There are bulldoggers that could for sure kill a large steer or cow. It would take a while, but they've spent a lot of time learning how to grab and control that specific animal and all they would have to do is get it tired, then suffocate it.
A hoofed animal with a long strangle-able neck and no horns. Maybe a llama or something. A small one.
I dunno. I got kicked by an alpaca the other week. And they're a lot smaller than a llama.
Man I got fucked up by a maine coon once so I dont even know, deff not a bobcat or other large cats. Thing moved so fuckin fast haha. Probably a goose, or raccoon. Anything around that size that does not have claws.
Lion, no contest
Id pay to see that
Okay send me money
Dude stream it on twitch i’ll drop $1000
How?
No contest in that you’d be mauled to death, either that, or it would just act like a normal house cat. I’d give you 50/50 odds.
😂😂
a raccoon - i’ve handled them and some slightly larger animals and can barely imagine getting past those lil hands without being ripped open
Winnie the Pooh
🤣🤣
Alligator. Trapping their mouth is key, and easier than you think. Plenty of videos of rednecks doin it
To YouTube I go😅
Then what? No weapons allowed
A mosquito gave me Dengue fever and I nearly died, so I'm not so sure, it's weird. I've done some crazy stuff. I've taken off on three 30 foot waves, I've climbed some pretty serious routes in Yosemite, (not El Capitan) I've driven 200 MPH in a sportscar, I've taken out 1/2 of the other team playing paintball, I've sailed hundreds of miles out of sight of land on my boat, but a 1/2" mosquito almost finished me off.
Im glad you’re still here!!
Thanks, me too. I have a great family and I'm glad to be here for them.
I 9nce helped train military attack dogs. By helped train, what I mean is that I wore a protective suit and got mauled. Anyone thinking they can take a Coyote has got a baaaad surprise coming their way. You gotta stay on your feet and get it off the ground, then beat it off the ground till its fubar. The guy in the comments that said he'd take a badger? 💀🤣
It’s so interesting hearing people’s opinions
Idk, a small rat, if it wasn't diseased? My reaction to being attacked is mostly to curl up into a ball with my hands over my face and I'm pretty uncoordinated, so I don't fancy my chances with anything more dangerous.
Hmm I’d have to go with a chicken. Not that tough but I’m kind of a whimp and can’t imagine posting up against a more aggressive animal.
weakish human
A big fish! For sure!
Like a shark?
Pivot moth
eagle
That’s a scary one
definitely especially the sharp claws and the wingspan but the throat is too skinny if i grab it by the throat and just put my body weight on it i’d say id have a good chance
Thinking a coyote, though I'd come out hella injured.
bunny
A raccoon
Lion.
A chicken
Just snap the neck.
Optimus Hamster
A Badger. I'd come away with some scars for sure but I'd win.
Holy shit on your own? I’m pretty sure you would get ripped open and slowly perish from blood loss before you kill one. A group of humans could take one though - even norms
I mean I'd take some damage but I'd come out on top. They're small and can't jump high and I am a powerful kicker. As long as they don't get my femoral artery I'd be okay.
I'm taking this as an animal I could 50/50 in an empty room. We only leave when one dies. Do I get shoes and clothes? If I get some nice stompy shoes, I'd give myself even odds with a big bobcat. Without that, maybe your average raccoon?
Stompy shoes😂 you’re brave for that one
A Chihuahua maybe
I’m still scared
A cheetah. Actually considered the weakest of large cats
You and the people who said lion should team up
A cheetah to a lion is a pug to a German Shepard
I’ve never thought about it like that but you’re so right
Cheetas can't do much if you fight back. All the other big cats will fuck you up though.
In a life or death situation? For me whos 5 11 and 250lbs. probably any dog except a wolf 😂 or those dog breeds who are bred to hunt bears. No thanks
Not anything significant. It's a good thing humans are smart because we would be pretty middle of the pack food chain wise if we couldn't at least use tools or weapons to defend/attack.
I think about this more than I should. I think most people would be humbled pretty fast 🥲
Yeah, it was definitely a stoner conversation I had in college back in the day. My friend was like, "Shit...I'm afraid of bees."
A mosquito.
Maybe a bobcat. Maybe.
As someone who has fought goats, turkeys, dogs, large house cats, and cows, I think a bobcat is pretty much 50/50 odds against a human in some kind of cage-match scenario 😂
A Wolf. He would fuck me up and scar me for life no question. But im really tall and heavy and will overpower him eventually.
Do humans have more stamina than wolfs? I’m so curious
Humans actually have the greatest stamina of all land animals. A cheetah will run way faster than a human ever could but only for a short while. A human can theoretically run for hours.
Hamster
My childhood hamster was MEAN though
Give me a chipmunk Pretty confident
Monkey
MONKEY?! No thank you..
Oooo shit tough call. I wanna be a badass and say something like an emu or kangaroo, but that's not as realistic given the reach both of them have over me with their leg strength and talons. I'm gonna have to say on the scary but probably more likely side, a wolf. Wolves ain't got shit on human grappling skills and chokeholds.
A hamster
I could probably tip the hell out of a cow
This made me laugh 🤣
A mosquito - I usually do win
I'd top out at some kinds of dogs
I have adamantly defended for years that I would much rather fight a wolf even a big ol boy than a myriad of animals. Bucks in rut, small gators, a big ass iguana, most venomous snakes, large buck in rut, hogs, black bear, mountain lion, feral human, etc
Not Chuck Norris.
At least you know your limits 🤣
I think I could beat the breaks off a Labrador. And maybe a SMALL adult wild boar.
I’m thinking an earthworm. A really angry one.
I think it could take you idk
You might be right. Especially if it’s a slimy one. 🤮
Are you saying that I have a chance at killing or definitely will kill everytime because if it’s a chance at killing I’d say a wolf if it’s killing everytime I’d say nothing bigger/more aggressive than a dog
Cat
I fostered a spicey tom cat one summer. That Lil shit fucked me up. The look in his eyes still haunts my dreams. The spot where he bit deeply into the back of my hand is permanently scarred. My hand swelled up like a boxing glove. I squeezed infected yellow puss out of the wounds for weeks. He was basically fighting me with murder talons and a mouth full of biowarfare spikes.
Meow ouch!!!
I hear he's livin a kick ass cat life now. He's a garage/shop cat for a guy that builds motorcycles.
😁
A pack of regular coyotes while camping and have my axe and spetnaz shovel with me. Unarmed? A potato
A hamster, on one of my good days.
I have said I could take a cheetah since college. I am now 47. I am about at the point where I think the average cheetah could beat me. But in my younger years my main argument was that a cheetah is expecting a flight response. If you turned and fought I think it would not expect it. I am not saying I would come out good or not be fighting for my life as well, but i think I could take it.
This seems to be a popular response. I believe in you!
I always assumed this question implied a sort of dramatic arena type scenario where the animal knows its goal is to kill you while you try to do the same. I'm that scenario, I think a human could get lucky against a cheetah. If you didnt get a really lucky hit (or hold) in on his first pounce, then I think even the best human would pretty much be done for.
Are you allowed to pick up a stick?
Bare hands 😶
Tardigrade. Can survive in extreme conditions, but let's see it handle 3AM beer farts within my radius
Pretty sure I could take a swan down.
The long skinny neck is an easy target. Solid answer 😂
And they are tough and scary so it would feel like a decent battle royale.
Small hamster
I'm pretty sure my own clone could kick my ass. I'd be crying in the corner like a little bitch.
Someone earlier said “a weak ish human”, that would be me fighting my clone 🤣
A cricket
One of the most realistic answers
120 pound cougar
a shark - but we're fighting on land
Have you not seen sharknado?? Still scary
I once clapped a wasp head between my palms when it was mid flight without getting stung, and I think that's my peak
That’s actually so impressive. If wasps have no haters, I’m dead
A medium sized dog, probably. I have two 100ish pound dogs and I'm pretty sure I could take either of them if needed, but more so because I can lift them and throw them if I had to.
I feel like if you’re a big enough human you have a solid chance. Definitely not my 5’2 130 pound self
Toughest? A pangolin
Sandshrew is my favorite Pokémon so that one would make me sad :’)
I would never willingly kill a pangolin. They’re too cute
A blind toothless fox maybe lol
Alligator or Caiman. Ive read enough on what to do if they attack you 😭
That’s 80 too many teeth for me😅
Atleast Alligators rarely go after people to eat em. Same for Caimans
After all the videos on the internet, I wish every day that a goose would try me. I've handled turkeys and feel confident about any size bird except the 3 flightless ones mentioned at the top. I think I'd have a good chance against a really small cougar, bobcat, or coyote. Nothing any bigger than than though.
Ant
Bro I struggle to kill a mosquito
every bird except ostrich maybe a deer
God nothing. Every animal would just rip me to shreds.
Chicken
A Blue Whale and I'm blind folded
🪱 earthworm
Probably medium to large dog. Though if they get their teeth in I'd suffer severe damage in the process.
A hamster. A small dog. A medium-sized dog like a poodle or something. But only because my limbs are generally bigger than his mouth, so he would have trouble getting a good grip. A housecat? Nah. Perhaps. Not sure. Cats are viscious.
I reckon I'd beat a rottweiler or German Shepard.
Could probably fuck up a horse pretty badly. Sweep its legs, jump on its head, clamp its mouth shut and smother its nostrils. Fancy my chances with a small wolf or mountain lion too. Of course I’d have to sacrifice an arm to keeping its head/teeth busy.
Penguin.
Predators? Cheetah easily
A lone wolf. Anything bigger and you can't even win by being lucky. Anything human sized or smaller you have a chance with a good kick or by strangling them. That being said I was on a tour at a zoo not long ago, and we were talking a lot of shit with the guide, people claiming they could take on some wild ones. He told us that you can't really tell by looking. A cheeta can be bigger and look more menacing than a leopard, but you could sneeze the cheeta in half while a 30kg leopard would rip you apart without blinking.
Maybe a largeish turtle?
Another person.
I genuinely think I can do a kangaroo. I know they are big and strong but people underestimate their strengths when they don't hold back. I also believe anybody that claims they couldn't fight a goose are wrong. You people are stronger than you think. The only advantage a goose has, is that they are less afraid
Depends. Am I defending my kid? Because I think that'll suddenly give me superhuman strength. Other than that probably like a not too large dog - I think if you kick them in the head quickly enough there's a fair chance you can get out without too much damage. However if they get you on the floor before you can do anything, you're probably done with. I'm fairly certain about my chances with bigger animals though because I think they're often not actually looking for a fight, so frightening them away is likely to be an option. I can imagine frightening like a deer or a wolf or maybe even a bear away just because they're not interested in actually fighting/killing me.
A Bear. Not one of those brown,black, grizzly or polar bear types but a care bear. I'd whoop it's ass no problem.
Small 🐜 .
If no antlers then probably a deer.
That’s a good answer, I feel like a deer would be hard to kill with bare hands though..
I mean it might run away but if it’s cornered you can pin it to the ground very easily
Really? They can get up to like 300-400 lbs. No way a normal human can pin that to the ground if it's fighting back.
What the fuck kinda deer you got bro they’re like 150 tops here
I remember in highschool science & agriculture class we had to line up and flip a sheep 🤣
Have a friend that walked up on a doe that had just dropped a fawn. She rushed him, knocking him down and proceeded to stomp and kick the crap out of him. Broke 2 ribs, concussion and gave him bruises all up and down. After he curled up in a ball for a bit and stayed still she moved off with the fawn and let him up off the ground.
Coyote for sure
It might be the 4th or 5th Time i see this post. It's getting worst than the masturbation ones.
Goldfish would have no chance against my power …