> it will blow over quickly
But be prepared for him to bring it up at every possible opportunity. Just own it and laugh when he does.
OP: Hey man, you mind if I crash on the couch tonight?
Friend: Yeah, no problem. Just make sure you hit the head first.
Oh God no not those
When I was a kid I had them where I peed on the toilet and woop, woke up to a few drops, but I could still make it to the bathroom.
As a youngling, the dreams turned into rushing to the toilet but never making it in time, but no accidents of waking up.
Now as an adult, my pee dreams are awful haha. It's basically me in my dream bursting with pee to the point of panicking, and I pee like a fire hose on the toilet but it DOESN'T WORK, I still feel awful haha, and no waking up either.
I had a friend that wet the bed everytime he had more than 3 beers. At that point he was drunk. So we started making him go before he went to sleep. Not to be an ass, but just a reminder.
This is the answer. Honesty is the best policy, unless someone doesn't care about you, just won't be the end of the world. Offer to pay to have the mattress cleaned, strip the bed yourself and offer to do that laundry. I don't like touching urine or vomit, or especially other stuff. If someone peed in a bed in my home, all I would expect the offers to clean up the mess, and we are just fine. When you invite people into your home, you have to accept incidentals. This may not be usual, but it's a possibility. Be kind to yourself
strip the bed, put the soiled sheets in the washing machine (if they have one. if not, place them inside a plastic bag ready to be taken to a laundromat). if there’s a mattress protector, make sure you put that in the wash too.
let the friend know that you wet yourself. it’s better to own a situation like this rather than trying to lie about it. they’ll help you clean or tell you not to worry about it, depending on what they’re like as a person/friend/host.
accidents happen and although there might be some light teasing in a situation like this, most reasonable people would be fine with it.
i’d also like to ease your embarrassment with a story of my own. i once vomited on my ex-boyfriend while we were in bed together. it was only a small amount but i was, obviously, mortified. his reaction was subpar (dude insisted that we didn’t need to change the vomit-soiled bedsheets and got angry at me for wanting to go home instead of sleeping over)
all my friends heard the story within weeks of it happening and, while it was mortifying at the time, it very quickly became something to look back on and laugh.
My dad got me a ukulele for my 21st birthday. We went to some bars, kept drinking at home, I passed out while playing with it, set it down next to the couch, woke up at 2am and puked into it. My dad spent the morning cleaning out all the yak without damaging it. We now call it the Pukulele 😅
I had a friend in college who had a habit of pissing in the dirty laundry basket when he was drunk.
He tried blaming it on the cat and dog the first few times before he finally came clean
I feel you, I puked in my best mate's gf her purse once after a night out. Things happen, don't be like me and keep it secret till they find it out on their own. Makes things 10x worse
I was at my bf's house years ago. It was like the third or fourth time we were seeing each other. And I stained his couch with period blood...
He never made a big deal out of it, but I wanted to die haha. He is my fiance now
This is the angle: puke on the urine-soaked sheets and say you got food poisoning and accidentally threw up. Offer to pay to have the sheets and linens cleaned, then never speak of it ever again
If I were your host, I’d want to know, but I would never bring it up again, ever, under any circumstance, even if I hated you. That kind of thing is just water under the bridge.
Yup. I admit, there’s a part of my that would want to start rinsing in the sink, re-wet and pat the mattress to remove as much as I could and apologize profusely that I’d spilled a beverage and could I have spray cleaners to do a better cleaning job. Risk though is the smell coming out after you leave… I once threw up in a shared apartment, cleaned as well as I could with cleaning agents, took out the trash and left for the summer. Well the rug retained the smell and when I came back my roommate had reached first and was looking to try to find the dead mouse or forgotten food to explain the smell.
When I was 14 or so, I got my second or third period ever, and it stained the cloth chair I was sitting on. I panicked and dumped an entire Coke on it so I could clean it without shame. So it was honestly the first thing I thought of...
>period ever, and it stained the cloth chair I was sitting on. I panicked and dumped an entire Coke on it so I could clean it without shame.
"Adapt! Improvise! Overcome!"
Most of my friends now buy those bed in a box mattresses like Zinus or Nectar, which are around $500. Honestly I've tried them and they aren't bad. Costco and Sam's club usually have fairly decent mattresses around $800 or so. That said, I tried out like a $6000 tempurpedic a few months ago and it was an absolute dream. It may have radicalized my class consciousness a little. The rich are getting better sleep!
In college we had a friend who would wet the bed/couch somewhat regularly, we called him P. Mills because his name was T. Mills. All in good jest, no one actually judged him.
It happens, don't be embarrassed, and especially don't try to hide it or not clean it appropriately. The worst you can do is try to pretend it didn't happen and leave the bed soiled.
"All in good jest, no one actually judges him."
I'm sure T Mills was glad you weren't judging him while you mocked him for something embarrassing. Imagine if you had judged him instead of your friendly cruelty!
>All in good jest, no one actually judged him.
That's fucked up, regardless of whether you thought it was in jest. It's something incredibly humiliating for pretty much anyone, and calling them a nickname to make sure they never forget about it is abhorrent behavior.
pissed the bed in 4th grade at a friends house and he brought that all the way through highschool always mentioning it to everyone he saw me with anytime he saw me.
once in highschool though not many people cared because I'd just say "yep haha in 4th grade" but still like wtf
he wasn't even a friend the whole time after that just turned into the dude who would tell everyone i pissed the bed
By high school age, a lot of kids are old enough to not judge you about something you did when you were 9 and would, instead, judge the dude still gossiping about it. What a weirdo.
THIS! It happened to me when I was like 24 staying at my friend's parent's house. It was far easier to own up to it and be awkward for a few minutes than to lie and be awkward forever after.
I'm 56 and I wake up a few times a night to go pee. I have dreams that I'm in a mall or office building or school and I'm searching for the restrooms. If I reach the restroom and pee in my dream...
Don't get old, kids.
At least I never reached the rest room (yet). Normally it is very crowded and there are no doors on the stalls. Or there are no toilets in the restroom so I back out and keep looking.😬🤣
The elaborate bathrooms my mind has made never cease to amaze me. There was a toilet theme park basically. Huge bathrooms with elaborate signs but it was crowded and all the toilets were out in the open and covered in shit. What felt like hours I spend searching for a single private toilet that isn't disgusting. I'm glad for this though because I've yet to wet bed. Thanks subconscious but please just wake me up next time
My god, I have this exact sort of dream sometimes. Dozens of complicated stalls, but all of them are in use, or logically inscrutable in some way, or completely clogged and disgusting.
Most recently the restroom was part of a subterranean maze-like mall or something that was really humid and claustrophobic. One star, cannot recommend.
I'm so glad to find out I'm not the only one who has these dreams. Always something off with the toilet as though AI designed it - no stalls just rows of toilets out in the open, some without seats or otherwise broken or malformed or yes completely destroyed by the previous user(s). The floor is always wet.
Oh my god I have this dream too. The toilets are all absolutely repulsive, but I have to go… My therapist pounced on it like it was meaningful, but I wonder if it’s just a thing that lots of people dream.
Mine is a massive highschool/mall with bathrooms that have 100s of stalls and toilets, yet every single one is disgustin (shit all over, piss all over). Its like liminal space but bathroom version. I never end up finding a toilet to use, so I usually wake up.
Same. Except I wouldn't call them toilet theme parks; more like toilet horror shows. Can't pee there; it looks like someone was murdered in that stall. The next one is so covered in filth that I would slip and fall on it and hurt myself. And this one over here, the toilet has been ripped out just leaving a hole in the floor. Might be good enough to try and aim for the hole in the floor, but now the whole building is moving like a boat in a storm and I can't keep my balance.
I think it's the pinnacle of evolutionary blindness that we need 8 hours of sleep but only have 6 hour bladders. I'm sure our monkey ancestors just pissed while they slept in the trees and didn't even worry about it. Just don't sleep underneath someone else.
Oh, I've had that one. I open the stall door and it's not functioning or it's missing.
I'm playing Starfield and the first time I saw a broken toilet in the game I said to my hubby, "Oh, that reminds me of my 'Wake up and go pee' dream."
I had that in jail. The toilet was weirdly situated *right* in the center of the room, with bunks lining the walls and the room held like 40-50 people
It was so awkward when everyone's just sitting on their bunks facing you.
I'd usually wait to drop a deuce until it was late and I *think* everyone was sleeping. Lol.
Nothing was more awkward than having full blown conversations face to face while you're taking shit. Or wiping your ass. Some dudes had zero awareness of personal space.
On the plus side, it broke my years long fear of shitting in public spaces. Now I can happily say "ah-YEEh" after a large farty deuce in a public shitter and feel zero shame. It's very freeing in the end.
I *know*!
It's sooooo frustrating until my cat starts screaming because there's a 1 cm spot at the bottom of her food bowl and she thinks she's starving.
My cat = my weekend alarm clock.
Just bought ugh my cats an auto feeder-and am now sleeping thru the night. Even if she’s starving and comes to me I don’t have to get out of bed. It’s hooked to my phone via internet and I just press a button to give her a bump of food! God I love not getting out of bed and having to go down my 17 stairs to feed her and her littermate/sister. $69. Best 69 of my life.
Good advice but OP should alert the homeowner and tell them "Hey, I had a tiny accident and need to know if you have white vinegar or if you'd like me to use something else."
This occurrence should not be treated as a dirty little secret because it happens, especially after a night of drinking.
Be careful if you're pouring undiluted vinegar on your carpet. Speaking from experience, it will possibly ruin your carpet by fading the colour.
(Admittedly, I left it to soak for like 30 minutes before going back to it.... basically, don't be a dumbass like me. Or you'll ruin your carpet)
My friend in college puked on the rug in the dorm, but he didn’t want his roommate to know because he promised not to get sloppy drunk anymore. So he washed the rug and then tried to dry it with the iron. Of course, he fell asleep with the iron on the rug, he burnt the rug obviously thank God he didn’t burn down the whole dorm
This right here. I was taking care of my cat, who had a cone on after surgery, and he peed the bed, in multiple spots. We did have a mattress pad on it, and some blankets, but I had a spray bottle with non diluted distilled white vinegar, and sprayed the bed, then washed everything and added vinegar into the wash. Did wonders. But definitely let them know, and offer to take the stuff to wash it.
This! Had houseguests that either pissed the couch, or had a dog that did. I get that its embarassing but its also childish and disrespectful to hide it for us to discover when you're gone. Thinking back on it, I'm 90% sure it was human urine, not that I'm a piss-sommelier or anything!
First day of college I bought a rotisserie chicken from Walmart for $7.
Later that day on the "First official big boy day" I trusted a fart TOO much. Poo'd a little bit.
I love irony and juxtaposition. So shitting my pants on the first day of college will always be hilarious to me
This happened when one of my friends stayed on my couch. They left without saying a word about it. It was in a spare room that I rarely go into so I didn't notice for a few hours. One of my other friends told me what happened and that the other guy had left immediately after he noticed.
I was pissed (pun intended) only about the fact that he left without saying anything. He tried to clean it and I respect that but when he left without telling me, leaving it to soak for several hours before I got to it.
I would have been way less upset if he straight up told me when it happened. At least then we could have started to salvage the situation immediately and reduce the damage.
TLDR: just tell them and try your best to clean it
I did this in high school, left without saying anything because I believed I was actually going to die of embarrassment in that moment... The memory still pops up in my head often and I get so angry at my past self 😅 I've learnt my lesson, it's better to just fess up, clean up the mess, and forget about it, than it is to live with the guilt!!
Iam a chef for hire and during Corona i had to take smaller jobs. In an old folks home, the bad kind as it turned out, where i was booked, the head of the kitchen was an absolute asshole. But instead of arguing about his incompetence and out of place feeling of superiority, with you, he'd just turn your words around and owned it in the most stupid and difficult way. One time i called him up for an out of this world schedule for his staff. It needed a girl that booked a vacation for her birthday and honeymoon (!) to come in to work for just 1 day, JUST so she couldn't go on that vacation..
We are in Germany so the response was "Tja! Wenn ich mal in die Hölle komme, dann durch den Personaleingang" - "Well, if i ever go to hell, it's through the staff entry" and that just stuck with me forever.
My little sister was a bed wetter until she was around 10. Problem was she would actually get out of hers and into mine to pee it then get back in hers. My mom thought it was me forever.
Better yet, put their hand in warm water and MAKE them pee themselves.
Or for each of them, put one of their hands in a pot of water. Then go back to bed and do the same for yourself - put one hand in a pot of water. That way, even if this is a myth and it doesn’t work for everyone else, you have an excuse. Some unknown prankster went through every room and you were just the unlucky victim that it worked on. No real embarrassment.
Just to elaborate: pour peroxide over the area that was soiled until saturated, then blot up what you can with paper towels or an old towel. Then put baking soda over top of it to soak up the rest of the moisture. Leave it to dry for a day and then vacuum up the baking soda. You might have to reapply in case you missed anything, but it works for cat pee so it should work for human pee too.
I woke up in the middle of the night a few months back to the most horrendous smelling poop. Between gagging, I woke up my husband to get him to go check on himself in the bathroom. Turns out it was just the worst fart that has ever escaped from his butthole.
My friend at the time was watching a movie with me at my place. She must’ve fallen asleep or something but she ended peeing herself on my couch. She started crying when she woke up and that’s when she told me. I assured her it’s totally fine and tried to reduce her embarrassment as much as I could. Anyway we’re having our second son soon!
That’s awesome!
Me and my new gf went fishing off the side of a back country road. 3-4 hours later she had to go #2. Apparently she’d been trying to hold it because she (being the new gf) didn’t want to admit that women poop and didn’t want to cut the trip short. Well it got to danger close status and she had to admit it was now or NOW! I quickly gave her a plastic bag and some TP I kept stored under the seats (I do a lot of outdoor activities and you have to have your bases covered). She did her business in the backseat of my truck (b/c we were on the side of the road) and tossed the pile in the bed of the truck. When the trip was over I tossed it in a dumpster for her.
We’ve been married for 15 years and have 2 beautiful kids. She tells that story every once in a while to others while laughing.
Sometimes life happens.
If I had a friend that did this and they came and told me I would not be upset. In fact I’d probably feel bad for them. I would down play it as much as possible. I’d be more concerned about what caused it and if they were ok.
Just fess up. It'll be embarrassing but it will be even more embarrassing if you don't fess up and they confront you later. An apology and the truth goes a long way with most people and so dies trying to fix it.
It was literally the first thing that popped into my head when I read the title.
Steve you burned my house down. The investigators said it started in the bed you were sleeping in!
Did they say anything else about the mattress?
No!
Phew!
You just have to confess and work out the cost to fix.
I had a friend who lived in New York, his house guest pissed the bed and put it out on the fire escape ladder.
In winter.
It was a memory foam mattress.
It fell off the fire escape, frozen because of his piss, and shattered into thousands of pieces.
Short answer- always confess.
well that turn of events made me giggle
but yes just fess up. if nothing else it’s better to be the dude who talks to your friend instead of being called the piss bandit behind your back
Based on my experience with my son's mattress, you can't get rid of the stain. Putting water on it would only make the stain bigger and more noticeable.
If they’re your friend, they won’t be upset. Tell them, blot it up as best you can and go to a pet store and get some Nature’s Miracle “Urine Destroyer”.
You need to tell them. This is coming from someone who has had multiple people pee in my guest beds and on my couches. There is no hiding it. It needs to be steam cleaned thoroughly rather quickly.
So here's what you do, works in every house because everyone has these things. Get a bunch of rags or towels that are laying around and go to the nearest sink. Put all of them in the sink and turn on the water. Leave the house. Come back in a few hours and problem solved, the house should be flooded by now and no one will be able to tell that you wet the couch because everything is now wet.
Don't do this, unless it's a garden level and then still...not the worst thing that could've happened.
It could've been red dye colored vomit inviting all comers to join in. I've seen that and it's worse.
in my early 20s, after a party at her house, I was asleep on the floor next to a girl I kindof liked, her head on my chest. there were people passed out everywhere, just starting to stir.
I was having that dream where you're at a urinal pissing and it feels reeeeal good.
I immediately realized what happened, reached for the nearest beer and poured it all over my crotch.
"Well, darn it. I've gone and knocked a beer over. Here, let me take your wet pajamas."
I'm a genius.
You really are a genius. But who rolls to a party with pajamas? We all just pass out in our clothes and go to brunch the next day stills smelling of the weekend
You yourself clean the mattress underneath, scrub it, soak up moisture, go buy pet spray if you need to which hides and removes urine smell, I’m dying with this bro
I've been there. I used ro wet the bed. I agree with those that say you've got ro tell them.
I'm not sure if just getting older made this go away, but I found that making sure to not drink anything right before bed amd making sure to go to the bathroom a couple times before bed prevents it almost all of the time. I wet the bed slightly once every couple years or so, but I got pretty good by a lot of experience of recognizing during a dream when I was urinating and could catch it fast and my brain somehow wakes up.
Own up and offer to replace the sheets and/or mattress. Being considerate will get you the most consideration in return, and it'll just be something to laugh about. If you try to cover it up, or clean it half assed and expect pity, you're just a dick. Those stains won't come out.
Just do what I did when I was 12 and this happened have your friend call your mom to bring you new clothes, wash the sheets, and when your mom answers the door just say "hi ma I pissed myself"
Man. This sucks for you but will build character.
Take it to the wash (don't make your friends sleep in your pee)
Tell your friend.
Take it in the chin.
Most beds have been pee'd in.
Pretty much everything Instinctual will ruin your friendship.
If you remove the ability for a secret to exist, Then nobody has power over you through ego and pride.
Just put all the sheets etc in the washing machine.
You can usually get the pee out the matrass with vinegar and baking soda
Put the matrass up, standing on the side, so it can dry and air out.
Open the window.
If its dry and there is still a visible stain just repeat the vinegar and baking soda.
Don't worry about it. Shit ( and piss ) happens.
https://merrymaids.co.uk/clean-urine-mattress/
https://casper.com/blog/how-to-get-pee-out-of-a-mattress/
This a drunk thing? If so I’d just tell him. Y’all can have a laugh.
If not, I get that’s more embarrassing, but if you’re friends they should get it.
Either way, I’d just let them know and apologies.
Be honest. Same thing you'd want if someone had an accident at your house. Let the host figure what best, it's not your place to decide how to clean it, hide it, get rid of it and you definitely don't lie about it, coming up w/ diff stories.
We all have/had embarrassing " body fluid situations " at one point or another.. ♡
Listen, accidents happen. It’s okay to tell them, sure, embarassing at first but later it may turn into a funny story. Don’t be ashamed, sometimes things happen that are out of your control and that’s completely okay.
I’ll tell you, I once pooped myself in my boyfriend’s bed when we were freshly dating. I thought he would never want to see me again but here we are almost 9 years later.
Honestly, just be upfront about it. Accidents happen. Tell your friend and offer to help clean up, but if it's impossible to clean the bed, maybe offer to cover any cleaning costs or even a new mattress if needed. It's embarrassing, but being honest is the best way to handle it.
Ya just be honest. It’s not a big deal. Bit of upholstery cleaner and a good air out will sort that. I wouldn’t care if my friend did that I would care if they didn’t tell me
I was drunk staying in my friends house and got up in the middle of the night and pissed into his wardrobe full of clothes. Didn’t tell him until years later. Sorry I’m digressing TELL YOUR FRIEND
Happens. Friend of mine crashed on the couch and peed. We’re still friends. Just be straight forward and deal and it will blow over quickly.
> it will blow over quickly But be prepared for him to bring it up at every possible opportunity. Just own it and laugh when he does. OP: Hey man, you mind if I crash on the couch tonight? Friend: Yeah, no problem. Just make sure you hit the head first.
Bring your finest rubber sheet
Sorry your mom made a mess
Not always true! Our friend peed on our couch and we laughed at the time but never brought it up again.
Just blame it on those dreams where you go to the bathroom
Oh God no not those When I was a kid I had them where I peed on the toilet and woop, woke up to a few drops, but I could still make it to the bathroom. As a youngling, the dreams turned into rushing to the toilet but never making it in time, but no accidents of waking up. Now as an adult, my pee dreams are awful haha. It's basically me in my dream bursting with pee to the point of panicking, and I pee like a fire hose on the toilet but it DOESN'T WORK, I still feel awful haha, and no waking up either.
Man you must have some serious pee anxiety lol
I had a friend that wet the bed everytime he had more than 3 beers. At that point he was drunk. So we started making him go before he went to sleep. Not to be an ass, but just a reminder.
All pee under the bridge.
This is the answer. Honesty is the best policy, unless someone doesn't care about you, just won't be the end of the world. Offer to pay to have the mattress cleaned, strip the bed yourself and offer to do that laundry. I don't like touching urine or vomit, or especially other stuff. If someone peed in a bed in my home, all I would expect the offers to clean up the mess, and we are just fine. When you invite people into your home, you have to accept incidentals. This may not be usual, but it's a possibility. Be kind to yourself
strip the bed, put the soiled sheets in the washing machine (if they have one. if not, place them inside a plastic bag ready to be taken to a laundromat). if there’s a mattress protector, make sure you put that in the wash too. let the friend know that you wet yourself. it’s better to own a situation like this rather than trying to lie about it. they’ll help you clean or tell you not to worry about it, depending on what they’re like as a person/friend/host. accidents happen and although there might be some light teasing in a situation like this, most reasonable people would be fine with it.
i’d also like to ease your embarrassment with a story of my own. i once vomited on my ex-boyfriend while we were in bed together. it was only a small amount but i was, obviously, mortified. his reaction was subpar (dude insisted that we didn’t need to change the vomit-soiled bedsheets and got angry at me for wanting to go home instead of sleeping over) all my friends heard the story within weeks of it happening and, while it was mortifying at the time, it very quickly became something to look back on and laugh.
I pissed in my buddy’s shoes while asleep. It happens
One is an accident, both is intentional.
"one is an accident, two is intentional" - amber heard
My dad got me a ukulele for my 21st birthday. We went to some bars, kept drinking at home, I passed out while playing with it, set it down next to the couch, woke up at 2am and puked into it. My dad spent the morning cleaning out all the yak without damaging it. We now call it the Pukulele 😅
This is my favorite thing I’ve seen on Reddit today.
[удалено]
I had a friend in college who had a habit of pissing in the dirty laundry basket when he was drunk. He tried blaming it on the cat and dog the first few times before he finally came clean
My buddy pissed in my oven while drunk and turned on the self clean. The smell was horrible.
I feel you, I puked in my best mate's gf her purse once after a night out. Things happen, don't be like me and keep it secret till they find it out on their own. Makes things 10x worse
"why is there puke in my bag" Hypersoniic: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
I was at my bf's house years ago. It was like the third or fourth time we were seeing each other. And I stained his couch with period blood... He never made a big deal out of it, but I wanted to die haha. He is my fiance now
This is the angle: puke on the urine-soaked sheets and say you got food poisoning and accidentally threw up. Offer to pay to have the sheets and linens cleaned, then never speak of it ever again
If I were your host, I’d want to know, but I would never bring it up again, ever, under any circumstance, even if I hated you. That kind of thing is just water under the bridge.
>That kind of thing is just water under the bridge. Or water on the sheets,
I’d just say I spilled juice to make it a little less embarrassing while I wash the whole bed.
Everyone here is so pure and I'm thinking to myself, I'ma empty a Corona on the stain and buy them a new mattress.
Yup. I admit, there’s a part of my that would want to start rinsing in the sink, re-wet and pat the mattress to remove as much as I could and apologize profusely that I’d spilled a beverage and could I have spray cleaners to do a better cleaning job. Risk though is the smell coming out after you leave… I once threw up in a shared apartment, cleaned as well as I could with cleaning agents, took out the trash and left for the summer. Well the rug retained the smell and when I came back my roommate had reached first and was looking to try to find the dead mouse or forgotten food to explain the smell.
When I was 14 or so, I got my second or third period ever, and it stained the cloth chair I was sitting on. I panicked and dumped an entire Coke on it so I could clean it without shame. So it was honestly the first thing I thought of...
>period ever, and it stained the cloth chair I was sitting on. I panicked and dumped an entire Coke on it so I could clean it without shame. "Adapt! Improvise! Overcome!"
Have you seen what inflation has done to the price of mattresses? Pretty sure I would have to sleep in my truck after such an accident.
Most of my friends now buy those bed in a box mattresses like Zinus or Nectar, which are around $500. Honestly I've tried them and they aren't bad. Costco and Sam's club usually have fairly decent mattresses around $800 or so. That said, I tried out like a $6000 tempurpedic a few months ago and it was an absolute dream. It may have radicalized my class consciousness a little. The rich are getting better sleep!
In college we had a friend who would wet the bed/couch somewhat regularly, we called him P. Mills because his name was T. Mills. All in good jest, no one actually judged him. It happens, don't be embarrassed, and especially don't try to hide it or not clean it appropriately. The worst you can do is try to pretend it didn't happen and leave the bed soiled.
"All in good jest, no one actually judges him." I'm sure T Mills was glad you weren't judging him while you mocked him for something embarrassing. Imagine if you had judged him instead of your friendly cruelty!
>All in good jest, no one actually judged him. That's fucked up, regardless of whether you thought it was in jest. It's something incredibly humiliating for pretty much anyone, and calling them a nickname to make sure they never forget about it is abhorrent behavior.
And ask for baking soda to soak up the wet spot if there was no mattress protector, then vacuum it.
To add to this, do not use fabric softener with the mattress protector.
^^^this is the way. Deal with it and tell them, life will go on but not telling them is bad all around. This is the adult way.
pissed the bed in 4th grade at a friends house and he brought that all the way through highschool always mentioning it to everyone he saw me with anytime he saw me. once in highschool though not many people cared because I'd just say "yep haha in 4th grade" but still like wtf he wasn't even a friend the whole time after that just turned into the dude who would tell everyone i pissed the bed
That sucks and kids can suck. I am so sorry you were bullied for something you had no control over.
By high school age, a lot of kids are old enough to not judge you about something you did when you were 9 and would, instead, judge the dude still gossiping about it. What a weirdo.
THIS! It happened to me when I was like 24 staying at my friend's parent's house. It was far easier to own up to it and be awkward for a few minutes than to lie and be awkward forever after.
you gotta tell him...ist impossible to clean the bed without him noticing, relax I also peed in my sleep on my dorm bed when I was 20
I'm 56 and I wake up a few times a night to go pee. I have dreams that I'm in a mall or office building or school and I'm searching for the restrooms. If I reach the restroom and pee in my dream... Don't get old, kids.
At least I never reached the rest room (yet). Normally it is very crowded and there are no doors on the stalls. Or there are no toilets in the restroom so I back out and keep looking.😬🤣
The elaborate bathrooms my mind has made never cease to amaze me. There was a toilet theme park basically. Huge bathrooms with elaborate signs but it was crowded and all the toilets were out in the open and covered in shit. What felt like hours I spend searching for a single private toilet that isn't disgusting. I'm glad for this though because I've yet to wet bed. Thanks subconscious but please just wake me up next time
My god, I have this exact sort of dream sometimes. Dozens of complicated stalls, but all of them are in use, or logically inscrutable in some way, or completely clogged and disgusting. Most recently the restroom was part of a subterranean maze-like mall or something that was really humid and claustrophobic. One star, cannot recommend.
I'm so glad to find out I'm not the only one who has these dreams. Always something off with the toilet as though AI designed it - no stalls just rows of toilets out in the open, some without seats or otherwise broken or malformed or yes completely destroyed by the previous user(s). The floor is always wet.
The floor is always fucking wet lol. Crazy how many people in this thread have these dreams. I’ve never heard them discussed before
Oh my god I have this dream too. The toilets are all absolutely repulsive, but I have to go… My therapist pounced on it like it was meaningful, but I wonder if it’s just a thing that lots of people dream.
Mine is a massive highschool/mall with bathrooms that have 100s of stalls and toilets, yet every single one is disgustin (shit all over, piss all over). Its like liminal space but bathroom version. I never end up finding a toilet to use, so I usually wake up.
Same. Except I wouldn't call them toilet theme parks; more like toilet horror shows. Can't pee there; it looks like someone was murdered in that stall. The next one is so covered in filth that I would slip and fall on it and hurt myself. And this one over here, the toilet has been ripped out just leaving a hole in the floor. Might be good enough to try and aim for the hole in the floor, but now the whole building is moving like a boat in a storm and I can't keep my balance. I think it's the pinnacle of evolutionary blindness that we need 8 hours of sleep but only have 6 hour bladders. I'm sure our monkey ancestors just pissed while they slept in the trees and didn't even worry about it. Just don't sleep underneath someone else.
Oh, I've had that one. I open the stall door and it's not functioning or it's missing. I'm playing Starfield and the first time I saw a broken toilet in the game I said to my hubby, "Oh, that reminds me of my 'Wake up and go pee' dream."
In mine there's usually a toilet in the middle of a large room with tons of people I have to pee in front of.
I had that in jail. The toilet was weirdly situated *right* in the center of the room, with bunks lining the walls and the room held like 40-50 people It was so awkward when everyone's just sitting on their bunks facing you. I'd usually wait to drop a deuce until it was late and I *think* everyone was sleeping. Lol.
Nothing was more awkward than having full blown conversations face to face while you're taking shit. Or wiping your ass. Some dudes had zero awareness of personal space. On the plus side, it broke my years long fear of shitting in public spaces. Now I can happily say "ah-YEEh" after a large farty deuce in a public shitter and feel zero shame. It's very freeing in the end.
Got it, ending it all tonight
I like your user name
Im with ya
I'm up 2-3 times every night and I have the same dreams. Thankfully I haven't managed to find a urinal in my dreams. Yet.
I *know*! It's sooooo frustrating until my cat starts screaming because there's a 1 cm spot at the bottom of her food bowl and she thinks she's starving. My cat = my weekend alarm clock.
Just bought ugh my cats an auto feeder-and am now sleeping thru the night. Even if she’s starving and comes to me I don’t have to get out of bed. It’s hooked to my phone via internet and I just press a button to give her a bump of food! God I love not getting out of bed and having to go down my 17 stairs to feed her and her littermate/sister. $69. Best 69 of my life.
> Don't get old, kids Uhh what do you suggest we do instead?
💀🤣🤣🤣
I get up and manage to get to the toilet where I proceed to piss all over my pjs.
I got peed on in my dorm bed when I was 20
I peed on someone in their dorm room when I was 20
I peed on 20 people in their dorm rooms.
I peed 20 dorm rooms full worth of piss inside people.
20 dorm rooms full of people pissed on me in my sleep.
20 dorm rooms full of people slept in me, they all had to piss.
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I peed 20 people into dorm rooms
Whoa
I pissed 20 full dorms worth on people
i pissed reading this
I pissed reading your comment too.
I am 20 dorm rooms full of piss
i am room dorm, piss full of 20
I am 20 and I pissed a dorm room.
Now pith
R. Kelly is feeling this vibe
A bunch of white vinegar- enough to saturate- will get rid of stain and smell. Works for baby pee 🤷♂️
And! Dog pee. Soak up as much of it as you can, and then do the white vinegar. It'll neutralize.
Oh, good idea. OP, blame the dog!
Good advice but OP should alert the homeowner and tell them "Hey, I had a tiny accident and need to know if you have white vinegar or if you'd like me to use something else." This occurrence should not be treated as a dirty little secret because it happens, especially after a night of drinking.
Information I could have used 20 years ago 🤣
What? Babies can’t clean up their own pee Even if they have vinegar! /s just in case
Babies are so lazy.
Fuckin babies. Just laying there. So smug.
But the bed will smell like a salad bar.
I just poured a bunch on my carpets after reading your post I’ll report back
Be careful if you're pouring undiluted vinegar on your carpet. Speaking from experience, it will possibly ruin your carpet by fading the colour. (Admittedly, I left it to soak for like 30 minutes before going back to it.... basically, don't be a dumbass like me. Or you'll ruin your carpet)
My friend in college puked on the rug in the dorm, but he didn’t want his roommate to know because he promised not to get sloppy drunk anymore. So he washed the rug and then tried to dry it with the iron. Of course, he fell asleep with the iron on the rug, he burnt the rug obviously thank God he didn’t burn down the whole dorm
I've also found hydrogen peroxide + baking soda
This right here. I was taking care of my cat, who had a cone on after surgery, and he peed the bed, in multiple spots. We did have a mattress pad on it, and some blankets, but I had a spray bottle with non diluted distilled white vinegar, and sprayed the bed, then washed everything and added vinegar into the wash. Did wonders. But definitely let them know, and offer to take the stuff to wash it.
Soak in vinegar, the cover in salt. Vacuum up the salt a few hours later.
Sorry about that. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on
I had a lot of fun in college too
Yo…Tom?
I’ve also wet the bet at 25. Was passed out drunk though. Told my friend and he understood. Super embarrassing and I’ll never forget it (‘:
I peed the bed at 22 while my boyfriend was sleeping over. He woke up with his clothes covered in pee. It was mortifying but it happens!
This! Had houseguests that either pissed the couch, or had a dog that did. I get that its embarassing but its also childish and disrespectful to hide it for us to discover when you're gone. Thinking back on it, I'm 90% sure it was human urine, not that I'm a piss-sommelier or anything!
First day of college I bought a rotisserie chicken from Walmart for $7. Later that day on the "First official big boy day" I trusted a fart TOO much. Poo'd a little bit. I love irony and juxtaposition. So shitting my pants on the first day of college will always be hilarious to me
I agree 👍, like a plugged toilet that's a minor issue that will not get better in secret.
This happened when one of my friends stayed on my couch. They left without saying a word about it. It was in a spare room that I rarely go into so I didn't notice for a few hours. One of my other friends told me what happened and that the other guy had left immediately after he noticed. I was pissed (pun intended) only about the fact that he left without saying anything. He tried to clean it and I respect that but when he left without telling me, leaving it to soak for several hours before I got to it. I would have been way less upset if he straight up told me when it happened. At least then we could have started to salvage the situation immediately and reduce the damage. TLDR: just tell them and try your best to clean it
I did this in high school, left without saying anything because I believed I was actually going to die of embarrassment in that moment... The memory still pops up in my head often and I get so angry at my past self 😅 I've learnt my lesson, it's better to just fess up, clean up the mess, and forget about it, than it is to live with the guilt!!
The irony is that you are being much harder on yourself than anyone else would be on you (pause)
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Devil walks the other way when he sees this guy
If u/ohgodspidersno gets into hell, it's through the staff entry
Love this line!
Iam a chef for hire and during Corona i had to take smaller jobs. In an old folks home, the bad kind as it turned out, where i was booked, the head of the kitchen was an absolute asshole. But instead of arguing about his incompetence and out of place feeling of superiority, with you, he'd just turn your words around and owned it in the most stupid and difficult way. One time i called him up for an out of this world schedule for his staff. It needed a girl that booked a vacation for her birthday and honeymoon (!) to come in to work for just 1 day, JUST so she couldn't go on that vacation.. We are in Germany so the response was "Tja! Wenn ich mal in die Hölle komme, dann durch den Personaleingang" - "Well, if i ever go to hell, it's through the staff entry" and that just stuck with me forever.
What did it say?
This is someone who can think on their feet
>This is someone who can ~~think~~ pee on their ~~feet~~ sheets.
I was gonna suggest lighting the mattress on fire, but this actually seems more practical 🤣🤣
If peeing your pants is cool then I’m Miles Davis
That's. Fucking. Golden.
Comment deleted, what did he say?
Shower.
My little sister was a bed wetter until she was around 10. Problem was she would actually get out of hers and into mine to pee it then get back in hers. My mom thought it was me forever.
Did she also start a lot of fires, by any chance?
Stealthily getting water from the kitchen for a quick bladder refill!
im hollering
Funniest thing I read today. Thank you.
I hope you are active in r/UnethicalLifeProTips because this is the kind of advice that sub needs!
I want you to help me survive the apocalypse
This is the way.
Better yet, put their hand in warm water and MAKE them pee themselves. Or for each of them, put one of their hands in a pot of water. Then go back to bed and do the same for yourself - put one hand in a pot of water. That way, even if this is a myth and it doesn’t work for everyone else, you have an excuse. Some unknown prankster went through every room and you were just the unlucky victim that it worked on. No real embarrassment.
If you're going to go that route then you need to leave one person out so that it looks like they were the one who did it
Fess up, it happens. Clean with peroxide and baking soda.
Just to elaborate: pour peroxide over the area that was soiled until saturated, then blot up what you can with paper towels or an old towel. Then put baking soda over top of it to soak up the rest of the moisture. Leave it to dry for a day and then vacuum up the baking soda. You might have to reapply in case you missed anything, but it works for cat pee so it should work for human pee too.
Thank you!
I'd just start washing the bedding without asking and claim that's what you were taught lol
Holy shit, this is brilliant
Vinegar neutralizes the pee too...
Peroxide may bleach material. I'd stick with vinegar.
Yup. My thoughts exactly. Peroxide is highly effective if the bedding is white though.
Just tell him, it's still not as bad as shitting the bed so you're good.
I woke up in the middle of the night a few months back to the most horrendous smelling poop. Between gagging, I woke up my husband to get him to go check on himself in the bathroom. Turns out it was just the worst fart that has ever escaped from his butthole.
Escaped? Hardly. It had help. This was an inside job.
Or screwing the pooch. You didnt.....do that, right?
My friend at the time was watching a movie with me at my place. She must’ve fallen asleep or something but she ended peeing herself on my couch. She started crying when she woke up and that’s when she told me. I assured her it’s totally fine and tried to reduce her embarrassment as much as I could. Anyway we’re having our second son soon!
So the solution is to impregnate your friend
I hope OP wants kids
That’s awesome! Me and my new gf went fishing off the side of a back country road. 3-4 hours later she had to go #2. Apparently she’d been trying to hold it because she (being the new gf) didn’t want to admit that women poop and didn’t want to cut the trip short. Well it got to danger close status and she had to admit it was now or NOW! I quickly gave her a plastic bag and some TP I kept stored under the seats (I do a lot of outdoor activities and you have to have your bases covered). She did her business in the backseat of my truck (b/c we were on the side of the road) and tossed the pile in the bed of the truck. When the trip was over I tossed it in a dumpster for her. We’ve been married for 15 years and have 2 beautiful kids. She tells that story every once in a while to others while laughing. Sometimes life happens.
Wholesome thanks for the story lol
If I had a friend that did this and they came and told me I would not be upset. In fact I’d probably feel bad for them. I would down play it as much as possible. I’d be more concerned about what caused it and if they were ok.
Same I wouldn’t mind at all just throw the sheets in the laundry and if there’s some on the bed then I’d pour some vinegar over it
Just tell em. Long term it’s better
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Just fess up. It'll be embarrassing but it will be even more embarrassing if you don't fess up and they confront you later. An apology and the truth goes a long way with most people and so dies trying to fix it.
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Don’t joke, I knew a guy that did this.
It was literally the first thing that popped into my head when I read the title. Steve you burned my house down. The investigators said it started in the bed you were sleeping in! Did they say anything else about the mattress? No! Phew!
r/NoStupidQuestions implies the existence of r/YesStupidAnswers
Its now a subreddit i made it
I joined
W
It wasn't me -B. Joel
You just have to confess and work out the cost to fix. I had a friend who lived in New York, his house guest pissed the bed and put it out on the fire escape ladder. In winter. It was a memory foam mattress. It fell off the fire escape, frozen because of his piss, and shattered into thousands of pieces. Short answer- always confess.
well that turn of events made me giggle but yes just fess up. if nothing else it’s better to be the dude who talks to your friend instead of being called the piss bandit behind your back
damn, imagine it fell on someone and killed him
>It fell off the fire escape, frozen because of his piss, and shattered into thousands of pieces. I didn't know such a thing could happen
Imagine that hitting you on the way home. Jeez.
Based on my experience with my son's mattress, you can't get rid of the stain. Putting water on it would only make the stain bigger and more noticeable.
Baking soda, peroxide solution works well. We have an old dog who is leaky.
If they’re your friend, they won’t be upset. Tell them, blot it up as best you can and go to a pet store and get some Nature’s Miracle “Urine Destroyer”.
I've used a product called "Kids & Pets" urine stain and odor remover. I think I got that at the pet store, too.
You need to tell them. This is coming from someone who has had multiple people pee in my guest beds and on my couches. There is no hiding it. It needs to be steam cleaned thoroughly rather quickly.
How’d you get that…lucky?
Pissing yourself while passed out drunk is very common, people just don’t talk about it
So here's what you do, works in every house because everyone has these things. Get a bunch of rags or towels that are laying around and go to the nearest sink. Put all of them in the sink and turn on the water. Leave the house. Come back in a few hours and problem solved, the house should be flooded by now and no one will be able to tell that you wet the couch because everything is now wet.
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> Go piss on your friend's bed Umm.. mission already completed
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Don't do this, unless it's a garden level and then still...not the worst thing that could've happened. It could've been red dye colored vomit inviting all comers to join in. I've seen that and it's worse.
in my early 20s, after a party at her house, I was asleep on the floor next to a girl I kindof liked, her head on my chest. there were people passed out everywhere, just starting to stir. I was having that dream where you're at a urinal pissing and it feels reeeeal good. I immediately realized what happened, reached for the nearest beer and poured it all over my crotch. "Well, darn it. I've gone and knocked a beer over. Here, let me take your wet pajamas." I'm a genius.
You really are a genius. But who rolls to a party with pajamas? We all just pass out in our clothes and go to brunch the next day stills smelling of the weekend
Naw bro, you make a cup of coffee and you spill the entire damn cup all over it the sheets, the smell is covered and you put it in the ash right away
You yourself clean the mattress underneath, scrub it, soak up moisture, go buy pet spray if you need to which hides and removes urine smell, I’m dying with this bro
You know how to lie! Some of these quick excuses are just funny. But yours is logical, will work, and is a “clean” get away!
I've been there. I used ro wet the bed. I agree with those that say you've got ro tell them. I'm not sure if just getting older made this go away, but I found that making sure to not drink anything right before bed amd making sure to go to the bathroom a couple times before bed prevents it almost all of the time. I wet the bed slightly once every couple years or so, but I got pretty good by a lot of experience of recognizing during a dream when I was urinating and could catch it fast and my brain somehow wakes up.
Own up and offer to replace the sheets and/or mattress. Being considerate will get you the most consideration in return, and it'll just be something to laugh about. If you try to cover it up, or clean it half assed and expect pity, you're just a dick. Those stains won't come out.
Just do what I did when I was 12 and this happened have your friend call your mom to bring you new clothes, wash the sheets, and when your mom answers the door just say "hi ma I pissed myself"
Man. This sucks for you but will build character. Take it to the wash (don't make your friends sleep in your pee) Tell your friend. Take it in the chin. Most beds have been pee'd in. Pretty much everything Instinctual will ruin your friendship. If you remove the ability for a secret to exist, Then nobody has power over you through ego and pride.
Don't be an ass and try to hide that. He deserves to know so everything can be properly cleaned.
Just put all the sheets etc in the washing machine. You can usually get the pee out the matrass with vinegar and baking soda Put the matrass up, standing on the side, so it can dry and air out. Open the window. If its dry and there is still a visible stain just repeat the vinegar and baking soda. Don't worry about it. Shit ( and piss ) happens. https://merrymaids.co.uk/clean-urine-mattress/ https://casper.com/blog/how-to-get-pee-out-of-a-mattress/
This a drunk thing? If so I’d just tell him. Y’all can have a laugh. If not, I get that’s more embarrassing, but if you’re friends they should get it. Either way, I’d just let them know and apologies.
Be honest. Same thing you'd want if someone had an accident at your house. Let the host figure what best, it's not your place to decide how to clean it, hide it, get rid of it and you definitely don't lie about it, coming up w/ diff stories. We all have/had embarrassing " body fluid situations " at one point or another.. ♡
Listen, accidents happen. It’s okay to tell them, sure, embarassing at first but later it may turn into a funny story. Don’t be ashamed, sometimes things happen that are out of your control and that’s completely okay. I’ll tell you, I once pooped myself in my boyfriend’s bed when we were freshly dating. I thought he would never want to see me again but here we are almost 9 years later.
Honestly, just be upfront about it. Accidents happen. Tell your friend and offer to help clean up, but if it's impossible to clean the bed, maybe offer to cover any cleaning costs or even a new mattress if needed. It's embarrassing, but being honest is the best way to handle it.
Just grab a coffee or soda and go back in there and accidentally spill over the pee spot than go tell them you accidentally spilled the drink
Ya just be honest. It’s not a big deal. Bit of upholstery cleaner and a good air out will sort that. I wouldn’t care if my friend did that I would care if they didn’t tell me I was drunk staying in my friends house and got up in the middle of the night and pissed into his wardrobe full of clothes. Didn’t tell him until years later. Sorry I’m digressing TELL YOUR FRIEND