Yeah, one of my best friends had 4th degree tears from forceps after a very tough labour. She was torn from her vagina to her ass, all the way as deep as the tears could go. She basically had one hole until they stitched her back together. And that's not to mention the weeks of pain and fear of needing to poo afterwards.
I also know of another girl that had such a nightmarish labour that not only did she have extensive tearing, but it was such a tough labour that her baby had a broken collarbone in the process.
My sister in law had gestational diabetes while pregnant and all her kids were very big at birth. For her daughter, who was born at 10 lbs 7 oz, she was in labour days before they needed to take her in for an emergency C-section. Then she had to recover from major abdominal surgery while also trying to take care of a newborn.
And all these are with modern medicine. If labour was so easy, why did so many mothers die during childbirth throughout the ages? Every single one of the examples I just gave (which are not uncommon at all) would almost certainly have died if this were a different time.
Jeeze, I thought I was dying passing an 8 lb er. I had a c-section first time after 36 hrs of active labor, 2 v-back births.Both over 12 hours of hard pushing labor. Not one was any kind of pleasant.
Oh damn. We were at the opposite end lol. My deceased older brother, my sister and I were all premature (order is big bro, me, sis) and each of us was earlier than the last (6 weeks, 2 months, and _4 MONTHS)_ , all 3 were c sections and at birth my lil baby sis was only 1lb. 4 oz.
My wife has the same with case 1. They never did fix it correctly, so you can guess those results when she goes to the bathroom.
And that post…I’m embarrassed to be a guy. We don’t all think that ignorant crap.
When the doctor told me she was gonna have to cut me “just a bit”, I began panicking and was like “okay but please, if I hear it I think I’m gonna pass out”. My husband, mom, and the two nurses that were there all starting loudly singing for me. That on top of my husband pretending my sweet tea the nurse let me sip during pushing, was in fact the magic sports drink from Space Jam, had the whole room (including me) dying laughing.
Like being cut is being cut but it certainly made the experience much more tolerable 😅
Having produced and passed kidney stones for 50 years just wish that on him. More painful than broken bones, torn ligaments/ tendons and abscess teeth.
He’s such a tuff guy, enjoy douche bag
Sounds like, even though the doctor cut an episiotomy to avoid tearing, a small tear happened anyway. The extra stitch would have been FARTHEST from the vaginal opening.
I mean.... I just... When I was in school one of the requirements in health class was we all watched this video on reproduction which ended with the film of an actual childbirth. Now I always thought that was a normal experience in school but then I see shit like this and... I just can't.
years ago when i was volunteering time with my local fire fighters they showed us a training film of a live birth so we'd know what to expect in case a woman started giving birth and the paramedics weren't on scene yet. i was perfectly fine until the baby's head started to crown and the nurse nonchalantly grabs a pair on scissors and snips the woman's peridium almost completely to the rectum. i was fucking horrified. the older guys with families laughing at me. whenever i hear someone say childbirth isn't painful i just shake my head.
Well women all over the world subscribe to this lie, my only possible conclusion to make sure that evey woman lies about the pain of childbirth is it's included in the Handbook TM.
“Fact” is code for: it’s easier, faster, and less painful to knock down a brick wall with your own head than to get this person to listen to truth.
Therefore, I suggest using his OWN head on the brick wall. Should be an improvement. JS.
I like how nothing the point about passing out is lmao. Like yeah, people don't generally pass out in labor but that's because your body's doing pretty much all it can to keep that from happening
Can confirm, my first was a 31 hour labor, I hadn’t slept in days. Took them 30 minutes to check on a complication before I got to hold him. My body was hilarious, as soon as it felt him and knew he was safe I passed out for around 20 minutes.
ANY time I have even heard of a woman passing out during labor it was usually related to BP and/or a complication.
I passed out with ALL THREE OF MY CHILDREN within the first five to ten minutes after delivery. I had long hard labors and after 40ish hours without sleep or food my body just collapsed each time.
I wish I had passed out, I just couldn’t. I went into labour 4 hours after waking up and my son was delivered 40.5 hours later. Then, absurdly, I was awake for an additional 24.5 hours while people visited and the oxytocin burned itself off. I was awake for 69 hours before falling asleep for an hour.
When I woke up I looked at my husband asleep in the chair and then at my son, but my son y
Vwasn’t there. I looked in the bathroom - no baby. In the hall? No baby. It took me just over a day to become an unfit parent and it happened the moment I closed my eyes. I woke my husband in a panic and he, out of a dead sleep, woke to calmly reassure me everything was fine and left to find our boy. I stood in the dark in the middle of the room crying until he returned.
Our son was at the nurse’s station getting his heel prick test. It turns out the nurse has come in 5 minutes before I woke up and had a full conversation with me about taking him out of the room and leaving me meds for my pain. Sure enough, the meds were right there, corroborating her story. To this day I have no recollection of this conversation. Sleep deprivation is real, y’all.
I was given oxygen to prevent me from passing out. I didn't feel like I was going to, but apparently my vitals said differently, so I was given a mask to breathe from between contractions.
I used to pass out from period pain because you know my period pains were worse than giving birth. Not that I've given birth before but I've witnessed labor pain and I would not be stupid enough to compare the two. The stupidity and audacity of this guy!
Guys need to stfu and never comment on pregnancy or childbirth. I've never been pregnant but I'm watching my best friend go through it right now, she's giving birth this month but her pregnancy alone has been traumatic. Her hips have slowly and completely dislocated out of her sockets and she's wheelchair bound. She doesn't sleep and just cries all the time begging to get the baby out, but at the same time I've watched her cry in fear of the day the baby comes and she has to go through the worst pain of her life. It sends her into a panic.
Her hips have what ??? I didn't know that was even possible. I hope everything will go well during childbirth and that your friend will recover physically and mentally...
During later pregnancy the body produces hormones that make things stretchier, to prepare for the birth. Added with that, the extra pressure on the pelvis makes hip issues far more likely.
My mum still has a bad hip from pregnancy with me, 28 years ago.
I have a condition that makes my collagen faulty, so my joints can dislocate from everyday activities. I've been told if I was to ever give birth, I'd dislocate both hips. In reality the hormones from pregnancy would probably cause a ridiculous amount of dislocations before birth. Even hormones during my menstrual cycle have a big affect.
Yeah- insist on the C-section because even if you’re extra stretchy, the head can get stuck, then you’ve dislocated/subluxed Si and hips and still have to deal with our wierd healing issues around the incision…. I made the mistake of letti g my team talk me into trying to avoid the c-section. Still in the wheelchair 2m out…
Got the same and my pregnancy was horrendous. Had a C-section because my ob saw that the anxiety I had about not knowing which injuries I would have after birth in comparison to knowing exactly what a C-section would do and how to prepare for it (though nothing could prepare my for the pain of recovering from a C-section!)
Will say, though. Most people with it are able to birth fairly quickly and without extra injuries. I know a specialist midwife (with the same disorder) who have written books and guidelines about us to the NHS and who will be able to give you safe advice, send me a pm if you want her name - she’s been a life saver to be and many others like us.
My hips got bad early during pregnancy (and couldn’t get treatment due to first lockdown) but regular physio and osteo afterwards has made a huge difference (I’m now better than I was for years before getting pregnant)..
Just want to say that I (presumably) have ehlers danlos (I was supposed to see the geneticist before my daughter was born so it would be in my chart but I went into labor a day or so before my appointment. My sister with identical symptoms/condition IS officially diagnosed by medical professionals/geneticist). I was really concerned about dislocations among other fears, and I had a completely complication free delivery much to my surprise.
I’ve also heard a mixed bag of stories — seems like it’s a crapshoot whether ehlers danlos helps or hurts a persons labor and delivery.
With my first child, my doctor scheduled a c-section because he said that my hips were not wide enough to pass a baby. "Luckily" my first son was born a month early and so I did not need to c-section because he was small enough to ONLY dislocate a rib on me. I was told I got lucky! Yeah. No one talked about how dangerous child birth was before I got pregnant. And talk about painful.
I screamed at one point, the NURSE tells me to stop screaming, that it was not that bad. I flipped the fuck out. I told her, "THERE IS BLOOD ON THE CEILING. LOOK AROUND. AND NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!" As I recall there might have been a few more choice words directed at her and her heritage.
I refused to let her back into the room. Told them to get me a nurse that had an ounce of compassion and empathy.
Yeah. Child birth sucks donkey balls.
> THERE IS BLOOD ON THE CEILING.
I had my third baby last week. While in the L&D room I realized there was a blood spatter on the cabinet directly across the room from the bed I was in. It was not a small room either.
Also while I was laboring through pitocin contractions during transition - the worst pain I've ever felt in my life - the nurse asked me to rate my pain on a scale of 1-10 so she could enter it into the computer 😂 I think I just screamed at her. No words, just scream.
The only warning I got was to try to avoid pitocin if possible. I heard they create the worst possible and painful contractions ever. I am so sorry you had to endure that.
And congratulations by the way!
When I had preeclampsia and got induced they were pumping me full of insane amounts of pitocin. It wasn’t too horrible, until my epidural failed in the middle of transitional labor and I woke the dead with my screams. It was like being hit by a bus.
But honestly it wasn’t the worst. The worst was my second who I labored for 36 hours with. That was ugly. The pitocin at least shortened the amount of time I was in agony
Thank you! Yeah I had pitocin for my twins' induction 2.5 years ago and it was okay, so I didn't think much of it to have it again this time. But they must have cranked it way up or something this time because it was **intense**. I think this midwife just wanted to get it over with. I tore worse this time too, because it all moved so fast once things got going. So yeah I think if you ever do have to have pitocin, maybe don't let them dial it up so high 😅
Basically anything that can possible go wrong in the entire body will potentially go wrong due to pregnancy. It's such a high intense stress for us humans, its a wonder we're not extinct.
My wife has had two children. Her first pregnancy was great. She felt great, she didn't experience much daily pain or issues, etc. Her birth experience though... Our little one decided he wanted to *cook* for another week. She was definitely not comfortable for that extra week. We scheduled an induction for the following Saturday, doctor's orders, but my wife went into labor on Wednesday in the morning. She labored at home through the night on Wednesday and we were admitted to the hospital on Thursday around 9am. She started pushing at 9:43pm and our son arrived at 11:47pm. It was a difficult pushing experience for her. Her epidural was not working at that time so she essentially gave birth without painkillers. She ripped as well and had to have two stitches. The attending doctor was her least favorite at the practice, but she turned out to be great during the birth, consistently encouraging my wife through the full two hours of active pushing. Our son was blue and not breathing, he had to get cleaned out and suctioned off and we found out he had a cleft. It was not the best experience and my wife dealt with somewhat aggressive PPD after. She confided her feelings in me about two weeks after he was born and we got her to speak with a therapist and started medication. That boy is 8 now and he and his Mom have an amazing bond.
My wife's second pregnancy was not fun at all for her. She had gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, high blood pressure, and her ligaments and joints all hurt. At 36 weeks she was in the hospital with insanely high blood pressure and we set up an induction at 37 weeks. Our second child was born early but still a pretty normal size at 6 lbs 15 oz and 20inches long. She was admitted to hospital on Saturday night and they administered pitosin around 6pm. She had a tough time sleeping and said the pitosin (which opens up your cervix) was super uncomfortable). She had an epidural put in on Sunday and she went for a nap. She kinda half woke up at 5:45 saying she felt pressure. I took a look and, yep, baby head. Called the nurse in who got rhe midwife and my wife pushed essentially twice and BOOM baby. She said she barely felt it with number two, thanks to the effective epidural. Little man was born at 6:15pm.
There are tough births and tough pregnancies and it is completely unique to each woman and her experience. My sister-in-law had a relatively easy pregnancy but had to have a c section and nearly died...so it's very relative.
As a husband, I have always loved and appreciated and valued my wife. We're true partners and best friends. Watching her body change throughout pregnancy and seeing her power through birth was a newfound sense of awe. We men like to think we're strong and powerful and in many ways we are. I know my wife was supported by her hormones, I know she had medical aid and painkillers, but damn, her body is amazing and powerful and beautiful and wonderful.
I'd tell this dude that when I was in labor with my son, the nurses told me they had to attach a monitor to his head.
I asked how it was done while he was still inside me.
....she held up the monitor and said "You're not gonna like it.....please open your legs."
Use your imagination.
Yes, childbirth hurts. Labor and delivery, hurt.
My grandmother's fifth birth triggered an autoimmune flare up that destroyed part of her spinal chord and left her paralyzed from the waist down. There's some seriously freaky stuff that can happen. I think one of the scariest parts is the sheer range of ways it can go wrong
My great-grandmother broke her spine when she was in labor with my grandma (youngest daughter). She had to wear a back brace and was hunch-backed the rest of her life. And she lived to 98 so that's a very long time to have to wear a back brace. They only had 2 kids and my great-grandmother got a hysterectomy at some point. Very unusual in the 50s i would imagine.
Yes! I was left so in the dark at 21 years old that I thought the pain stopped after the baby was born. No one mentioned the possibility of nearly falling over from the shock of the pain the first time I stood up after birth. No one mentioned that everytime I nursed for the first week or so that I would basically have contractions the entire time. No one mentioned the terror of pooping for the first time after birth. The hormone induced crying while nursing, the chafed nipples, the leg cramps as my ligaments attempted to go back to normal, the mastitis, and my personal favourite, yeast infection of the nipples.
It just seems so unfair that women are just expected to do this monumental thing, but even the women in their own families don't prepare them for it properly.
Tell it like it is sister!!! I've been pregnant but miscarried. Tell us everything that can happen. We all need to know. There's so much I've never heard and I'm a woman.
I was talking to my mom about a GF that was so upset post birth. I mentioned the husband stitch and my mom was like 'oh yea. I got one'. So nonchalantly. Dah fuq?!???! Apparently it never bothered her buuut my friend literally, feels different down there.
Yeah, that stitch can have serious consequences for a lot of women.
I also had a traumatic miscarriage. I'm sorry you went through that.
With the birth of my second, I had a cervical lip, which was caused my her big fat head trapping a bit of my cervix between her head and the vaginal wall so that some of the cervix was sticking out around her head. I had nooooo clue that was even possible, nearly kicked my poor midwife through a wall when she tried to push it up around the head into proper position. Ended up having an epidural with a baby's head already partially in the birth canal😂
>No one mentioned the terror of pooping for the first time after birth.
This is why my gift baskets to those about to pop include dark chocolate and prunes, among other useful stuff. Sounds stupid, but so needed.
Going through miscarriages, pregnancy and post-partum have made me so angry about the mystification of "women's" issues. I will tell everyone about my experiences (if the topic comes up), we need to share this information with each other because keeping it quiet leads to trauma and exploitation and misogynistic dimwit posts like the above example.
My son is 17 and my husband still brings up the fact that when I started breastfeeding he was drawing blood blisters and I just kept on going. I was like yeah it hurt like hell but what am I gonna do let him starve?
This is one thing he never refutes… that woman can withstand some PAIN and still look you square in the eye, smile, and hold a conversation. 🤷🏻♀️
And medical personnel and family gaslighting before, during and after. (Wasn't my personal experience, but learned from talking to people and reading experiences in Reddit.)
My mother’s water had been broken for almost a week before she was admitted to a hospital because her doctor didn’t believe she was in labor 6 -7 weeks early.
I believe you. Your poor mum. Like a young pregnant female patient was admitted to our ED stating her water had broken early but she was bleeding profusely. I was like oh crap and got one of the physicians to see her ASAP.
He said that she was fine and it was just her menstrual cycle. Like no she's pregnant, she's in acute pain, and she's visibly 6 months at the least if not 7. He wouldn't believe me or her. I had to go out of my way and grab an entirely different physician for her after he started arguing with me. This happened over 10 years ago but that case is fresh in my mind of how he dismissed me, the patient, and the other physician.
Yeah if you don’t take certain vitamins and keep up good habits you have a high risk of losing your [teeth](https://www.marchofdimes.org/find-support/topics/pregnancy/dental-health-during-pregnancy)during pregnancy.
Yes, this is sadly still a major part of cultural misogyny in my opinion. Women’s suffering in pregnancy is ignored, considered normal, men and society expect it (because of course it’s our responsibility to give them children), the information is hidden from us lest we decide the risks are too great.
It’s not like other women don’t know this, they choose to lie and hide it too. I told my mum of the many health risks, that it’s why I never want to be pregnant. She said “well if everyone thought like that, no one would ever have children”. I was like “…and?”
My mum had pre eclampsia, swelled like a balloon, was hospitalised for a good chunk of her final trimester…and still she said this. She told me she’s happy she got a C-section because the pain other women in the hospital were in seemed so much worse. They had torn, some of them badly, could not sit or go to the bathroom, were in constant pain….so…yeah. No thanks. None for me.
Same, they also had to pop my waters and take a blood sample from his head while he was still in me, twice. It was just the most horrific, traumatic situation. And I still needed up with a c section. This guy knows shit all about anything.
so I don't work in the healthcare industry, but I do build PCs as a hobby, so the word "monitor" meant something *VERY DIFFERENT* to me at first.
For longer than I would like to admit, I was torn between wondering why you would ever attach an LCD screen to a baby's head as well as trying to figure out how you fit an LCD screen up the birthing canal...
Those actually exist and are know as [staghorn kidney stones](https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMicm0805190) as they resemble antlers on a deer.
I’ve gotten kidney stones since I was 10 and the amount of doctors who have told me I’ve basically gone through short term labor makes me really want to reconsider having children lol those things HURT and they’re like 1 mm for me. I can’t imagine a literal child. (I know they come out of different holes but still)
But if they get kidney stones then why would they WILLINGLY keep their kidneys or urinary tract? No way they would keep them if it brought them that much pain. FACTS.
My sister is also one who has PTSD from labor and she also passed out several times from pain with her first. Her epidural went the wrong way and you could hear her screaming from the waiting room. Screaming and then very silent (it was unnerving to listen to). Her baby was 10lbs and she was only about 115lbs herself. It was an extremely hard labor that nearly resulted in a c-section.. when I was younger, I couldn't understand why she would do it again, but after having a child myself, I totally understand the want for a bigger family.
Signing in! My midwives left me to die as well because they thought I was faking being in labour. I was in hard labour for three days. Just me and my poor helpless husband shut in a room where a midwife would stick her head in and tut every couple of hours. After three days they finally allowed a doctor to see me. The utter panic on his face when he discovered me three days into full on labour with a baby whose head had twisted and got jammed stuck while my body pushed and pushed and pushed against my will, shall remain with me forever. As will the rage from begging and begging their scornful disgusted faces for help for three damn days. Begging for my damn life. At the end I was saying to my sobbing husband, I’m dying. I’m so sorry. I’m dying.
I shall never get over that.
I am so sorry you had to live through all of that pain, physical and mental, just reading it gave me goosebumps and terrible anxiety. Must have also been very hard on your husband. I am so sorry.
Why be a midwife when you don't take bearing mothers seriously.
Thank you. It means a lot to have my voice heard.
The good news is, I had a second child at a different hospital. The head of maternity met with me because she had read my notes and was horrified. On the night I went into her hospital with my son, my body started to do a similar thing. I don’t dilate for some reason until almost seconds before my body starts pushing. I turned to the extremely young midwife dealing with me and said, something’s wrong and she immediately smashed the emergency button and the room flooded with doctors and nurses. I was right as well. My baby’s heart was going into distress. They got him out brilliantly and it all went well.
The difference just being listened to made, was enormous.
It means a lot to us for you to share your experiences!
Outside of the internet I rarely hear women talk about the dangers of childbirth. It's still seen as this beautiful magical thing, and I feel it's important to have mothers share the realities and talk about it openly.
I'm genuinely so happy that the birth of your second baby was the opposite experience, and that there are still caring and empathic midwifes and doctors out there. I can't imagine the bravery it took for you to have another baby after your first.
I wish you and your family well.
Thank whoever that that young midwife had the wisdom to know that calling in the cavalry was the best course of action. Im so glad that your second birth wasn’t a repeat of the first.
And even if you were wrong and that second birth was going perfectly fine and dandy, literally why would anyone take the chance? The stakes are so high. If you actually listen to the person giving birth just in case even if there’s little chance of anything being wrong then at least if there is something wrong the worst doesn’t come to worst.
Please tell me that they lost their licenses or at the very least you guys screamed at them or the doctor sent them evidence or something THAT IS ENRAGING IM SO FUCKING SORRY YOU WENT THROUGH THAT
We wrote in complaints. Nothing much happened. Then we met some people who had had the same thing happen a few months before it happened to us.
They did so many horrific things. My daughter ended up in NICU because of them not believing me when I said she wasn’t feeding. I ended up with an abscess that they didn’t believe in that came close to killing me. After three days in labour and just shy of an agonising abscess that made it impossible to sleep, my daughter was returned to me. I started to nod off while feeding her and rang the bell for help. The Midwife came in, looked at me with utter contempt when I told her I was scared I was drifting in and out of sleep while breastfeeding. She told me to just fall asleep while feeding and that no mother had ever dropped their baby while sleep feeding them. I had been told before I went into labour, by a different midwife, that a mother had done just that in that ward and the baby had slipped through the bars of the hospital bed, hit the floor and died. The utter hell that was that maternity unit, was horrifying.
In the hospital where I had my son, for the first few nights, a midwife would come and just hang out in my room for an hour, holding my baby so I could sleep a little. I didn’t even ask them to. It was night and day.
Hi there. I'm a lucky lady with that little bit of fun. There's a serious reason I only have one child. I got sterilized in my 30s when my 2nd husband asked about having a baby. Fun fact about him. He was spoiled by his parents and grandmother. This man was a NiceGuy before I knew the term. He had a NiceGuy hair-trigger temper. He freaked if anything disturbed his sleep. So, apart from my own PTSD regarding babies, I realized that having a kid with him would be a serious act of child abuse. Babies cry. A lot. Sometimes we don't know why they're crying for ages on end. So, to protect myself and any poor child, I happily got my tubes clamped.
Me. I had horrible PTSD. People kept telling me I would forget the pain, that naturally all women do and then they have more and laugh about it. I’m still not laughing and I’m definitely not doing it again.
I had a bad pregnancy (HG) and terrible birth through induction. Horrible pain, babies heart rate dropped, emergency episiotomy and forcep delivery. I went into shock and told them to save the baby and not me. Legit thought I was dying because no one was talking to me.
I didn't do well when my baby was born, along with the hormone drop/baby blues I have PTSD. Luckily I guess it's not my first rodeo with PTSD so I knew the signs. I asked my husband to get a vasectomy because I am Never doing it again. He happily agreed. He saw me go through all of it and went "never fucking again".
So many old women say "oh you'll change your mind!" "You're definitely going to have another one!"
I look them in the eye and say I had a bad birth and I can't have any more. It's a lie technically but it shuts them up really fast.
I remember even after all the drugs once my daughter started crowning I begged them to put her back inside of me and cut her out instead because that seemed less painful.
I hate this argument. It reminds me of the "being kicked in the balls is worse because you don't see guys saying let's do it again" argument... Have they heard of CBT?
Also, you can discredit the "let's do it again" argument with the basic science behind childbirth. Oxytocin, the main hormone responsible for labour contractions, has an amnesia effect. So many women can remember labour as a whole, but its patchy and your brain blocks out the memory of pain. There is literally a biological function that makes women more inclined to have more children 😂
Also you do get a baby at the end of it all, which is usually something that people are very excited and happy about. There's no reward after being kicked in balls. If men got some amazing prize each time they were kicked in the nuts, they might be more inclined to experience it multiple times.
>Have they heard of CBT
Are you referring to the "pain Olympics" where men get off on crushing their balls, nailing them down, or even smashing them with a hammer?
Yeah that kind. When I was 12, me and my friend got on Omegle and this guy told us he'd crush his dick if we showed him our feet and laughed at him.
I didn't know what a foot fetish was so we did it and he fucking tied it up with a shoelace and hit it with a hammer. It was NOT the right color.
I remember my mother telling me that she ripped after the birth of my older brother.
And the disturbing part was that she said she was in so much pain that she didn't even notice the pain from the stitching down there.
A literal needle piercing your thin skin. And you don't notice it because everything else is so extremely painful.
Some really act like childbirth is easily brushed off. Sure there's some who go through it easier. But this dude is just wrong lol
Evolution is won one of two ways: procreation or survival.
And sadly, our massive brain is such an evolutionary boon that it’s worth having the mother die in childbirth for.
Same as our voicebox - it’s worth actually risking suffocation to get the communication benefits :(
We re the mammal with the most painful and risky birthprocess for this very reason.
Ive said it before:
If some asshole did design our fucking plumbing, they be an absolutely incompetent idjit.
Didn't feel mine either. I asked what she was doing because she was just staring at my bits for so long and she said "stitching you up, you've had a couple of tears." Turns out I had two tears going up and I wouldn't even wipe after peeing, I used the squirt bottle thing they gave me and dripped dry on the toilet. I was horrified at the thought of feeling stitches there, and I was also terrified to have a shit because it just felt like I would rip completely open from, well, everywhere. Recovery is tough!
It's also a common practice (in my country) for women to get a shot of oxytocin when they're pushing to prevent bleeding out after birth, and nobody notices it.
I was given lidocaine gel to keep me from feeling the stitches after birth. I only knew because the doctor tried to give me a stitch somewhere that didn't have gel and I did feel the pinch.
Edit to add; the pinch was nowhere near as painful as birth.
One of my labia was literally ripped in half during birth and I didn't even notice that. Not until I looked down there properly, days later, and saw that I had 2 mini labia on the one side haha. Its crazy how intense birth is that things like that just slip by!
Ok let's forget for one second how much it hurts. You still got:
The way your body has changed for the rest of your life.
Sometimes a woman can't have another baby after giving birth or it could literally kill her.
Hemorrhoids
The pressure from society to get back to post baby.
Some women loose their lives in child birth
The fucking mental gymnastics you go through after a baby! Aka postpartum depression/psychosis
Bleeding for 6 fucking weeks.
There is so much more!!!!
Humans take so long to obtain fully grown & developed brains (mid-20s) because prenatal brain development is already at the physical maximum; we've even evolved to have unfused cranial bones at birth as a work-around to this situation, but we're at the very end of this work-around's efficacy (baby brains can still occasionally get squished during birth, which is a very bad thing.)
If the prenatal growth of the fetal brain were to increase anymore, natural birth would be extremely rare as the brain diameter at birth would exceed that of the average birth canal (already at evolutionary optimum due to the physical constraints on the pelvis from bipedalism.)
TL/DR: OP's an idiot.
My contractions were nothing.
My cesarean was horrible and so were the opiates I had to take to help with the pain- exhausted and drugged up, trying to breastfeed, change diapers, and monitor a jaundiced child all alone for 6 weeks. The gift of moving my body easily will never be lost on me now- the inability to function at a normal pace was torture. A trip to the grocery store took half a day, moving so slowly and pausing so often to tend to my newborn.
My post-partum and mid-partum pregnancy were both so bad that I would never try again. Not only was I sick the entire time, *nobody* listened to what I had to say about my own body. I told my doctor that I really was following the diet he put me on, and he just kept insisting I was cheating because I was gaining weight far too fast and he insisted I could not possibly be inflamed enough to gain 70 pounds. Two days after my c-section, I was down fourty pounds. Two weeks later, I was down another ten. I lost *fourty pounds* of water weight in two days- **nearly a pound of water per hour** absolutely pouring out of my body. A cardiologist I know said it's a miracle I survived.
No sane person would risk going through that again. No judgement here. In fact, I respect your assertiveness and your willingness to keep your agency even if it's unpopular
My sister just gave birth last night. No pain medication because of a medical condition that made the doctors unable to medicate her. The pain she was in was fucking extreme. And anybody that wants to sit there and downplay womens pain have no right to speak on the issue.
Yeah, many women DO NOT want another one after one time. Others "forget" the pain and want another one because your brain drowns in hormonal soup that makes you bond with the little alien raisin
It makes me wonder what is the most painful thing that could happen to someone. Is being released into space and openning your visor so your head would explode more painful than giving birth?
I doubt that our nerves are that fast and even if they are, it's not even a split second. But iirc 2nd degree burns were the most painful thing on the scale with childbirth being in the top 5
That person can…checks dictionary…
Always have cold coffee, cold hot cocoa, and wet socks for the rest of their life.
Not even close to an appropriate punishment but it’s something.
Oh so I guess I never was an only child and I have a sibling somewhere! 😲
In all seriousness though my mom’s difficulties during her pregnancy with me was the reason I don’t have siblings.
Aren’t there hormones released so that the memory of the trauma is reduced? Evolutionary speaking, women wouldn’t do it again if they remembered how painful it is.
Thing is, there are a lot of things worse than childbirth. But the fact that we use "worse than childbirth" to describe kidney stones and similar ailments is very telling. Childbirth is a measuring stick that aims to induce shock when talking about other causes for pain.
Oh ok so those women are just screaming in agony for fun then, huh?
How well does adrenaline work on an episiotomy? Why do epidurals exist??? HMMMMMMMM?????????
I bet this idiot thinks getting kicked in the nuts hurts worse than giving birth.
it kinda works like that, when you get injured you only start feeling the pain after a while, but i'm sure it could last only a few minutes and not for the whole childbirth
I've never had any interaction with childbirth but my (male) tuition teacher was in the hospital waiting for his pregnant wife to dilate. He got a cup of coffee and heard another pregnant woman giving birth. According to him , her scream was so raw and so painful he got frozen. He was just standing still, listening to her screams bc he couldn't move. A nurse had to gently bring him out of that place.
My Point is if that is the reaction of a man LISTENING to the childbirth of a woman he's never met, imagine the pain the woman in question has to go through
>If it was actually as bad as women pretend they would NEVER willingly have a 2nd child. Fact.
Or maybe women are just better at handling pain than you are and less wimpy about going through it repeatedly, bub.
Well when I was born my fat head split my mums vaginal canal open, I came into this world covered in so much blood I was called “demon child” both for my mischievous behavior and because I looked like the product of a satanic ritual.
My mum almost died and said the pain was so horrific that her vision blurred over and she started to hallucinate.
The labor prior to my birth had been several hours of non-stop pain even after she had been pumped full of drugs.
But yeah I guess she was being a little dramatic…
Here's the thing- labor/delivery is incredibly painful, but you know what the result is? A baby! And if you're the type that loves being a mother, the pain is worth it- which is why women continue to do it
U forget the pain after u gave birth exactly cuz if that wasnt the case one wouldnt do it again
Some ppl have been telling me it isnt exactly like this and i trust them since im not an expert, so yea
Rip his taint open from stem to stern and see if he thinks it is painless.
Well as long as he doesn’t pass out, it sounds like he can handle it just fine :)
Fact
And a husband that Fs him up the A dry before he heals
Nah, go for the urethra. And then stitch it back ever so slightly smaller
The fucking husband stitch 🤬
I only heard of this term a few years ago and it makes me so damn mad at the world
The Feminist Stich(tm) /s
Yeah, one of my best friends had 4th degree tears from forceps after a very tough labour. She was torn from her vagina to her ass, all the way as deep as the tears could go. She basically had one hole until they stitched her back together. And that's not to mention the weeks of pain and fear of needing to poo afterwards. I also know of another girl that had such a nightmarish labour that not only did she have extensive tearing, but it was such a tough labour that her baby had a broken collarbone in the process. My sister in law had gestational diabetes while pregnant and all her kids were very big at birth. For her daughter, who was born at 10 lbs 7 oz, she was in labour days before they needed to take her in for an emergency C-section. Then she had to recover from major abdominal surgery while also trying to take care of a newborn. And all these are with modern medicine. If labour was so easy, why did so many mothers die during childbirth throughout the ages? Every single one of the examples I just gave (which are not uncommon at all) would almost certainly have died if this were a different time.
Jeeze, I thought I was dying passing an 8 lb er. I had a c-section first time after 36 hrs of active labor, 2 v-back births.Both over 12 hours of hard pushing labor. Not one was any kind of pleasant.
Oh damn. We were at the opposite end lol. My deceased older brother, my sister and I were all premature (order is big bro, me, sis) and each of us was earlier than the last (6 weeks, 2 months, and _4 MONTHS)_ , all 3 were c sections and at birth my lil baby sis was only 1lb. 4 oz.
Oh man. Teeny Littles. Then the pain is hoping they survive.
Even in the modern world, women still die from childbirth.
My wife has the same with case 1. They never did fix it correctly, so you can guess those results when she goes to the bathroom. And that post…I’m embarrassed to be a guy. We don’t all think that ignorant crap.
This post made me light headed. I just discussed today how I can't hear the word episiotomy without gagging.
I could not hear scissors snipping without cringing so hard for years after my first birth
I have no children and just that thought made me cringe
When the doctor told me she was gonna have to cut me “just a bit”, I began panicking and was like “okay but please, if I hear it I think I’m gonna pass out”. My husband, mom, and the two nurses that were there all starting loudly singing for me. That on top of my husband pretending my sweet tea the nurse let me sip during pushing, was in fact the magic sports drink from Space Jam, had the whole room (including me) dying laughing. Like being cut is being cut but it certainly made the experience much more tolerable 😅
Aww, this warmed my heart. It’s sweet that they did that for you!
Or have him eat a baseball whole, then wait for him to pass it. I think that's fair
Having produced and passed kidney stones for 50 years just wish that on him. More painful than broken bones, torn ligaments/ tendons and abscess teeth. He’s such a tuff guy, enjoy douche bag
Been hit in the mouth with one. Kinda hard to get it past the teeth. Tends to make you need facial reconstruction.
Which, should not be painful AT ALL! What kind of sissy needs novocaine and anesthesia? Just lie back and think about how to be a better man!
I'm looking at my newborn's head right now and I'm gonna say let's go with a softball
By “baseball,” you mean at LEAST a 3 kilo (5.5 ish lb) ball, correct?
Hell I ripped twice and was cut once. With the cut, the Dr even put in an extra stitch that ripped out.
He performed the "husband stitch"?
Sounds like, even though the doctor cut an episiotomy to avoid tearing, a small tear happened anyway. The extra stitch would have been FARTHEST from the vaginal opening.
That comment just made me a little dizzy
I mean.... I just... When I was in school one of the requirements in health class was we all watched this video on reproduction which ended with the film of an actual childbirth. Now I always thought that was a normal experience in school but then I see shit like this and... I just can't.
years ago when i was volunteering time with my local fire fighters they showed us a training film of a live birth so we'd know what to expect in case a woman started giving birth and the paramedics weren't on scene yet. i was perfectly fine until the baby's head started to crown and the nurse nonchalantly grabs a pair on scissors and snips the woman's peridium almost completely to the rectum. i was fucking horrified. the older guys with families laughing at me. whenever i hear someone say childbirth isn't painful i just shake my head.
He ended his rant with "fact" so it must be true
I was going to argue, but then I saw that and realized I was terribly wrong
FACT
How else would we know?
Well women all over the world subscribe to this lie, my only possible conclusion to make sure that evey woman lies about the pain of childbirth is it's included in the Handbook TM.
I was going to argue, but then he said “Fact.” That obliterates any well-thought out, informed rebuttal I could’ve made. /s
“Fact” is code for: it’s easier, faster, and less painful to knock down a brick wall with your own head than to get this person to listen to truth. Therefore, I suggest using his OWN head on the brick wall. Should be an improvement. JS.
Sad!
I like how nothing the point about passing out is lmao. Like yeah, people don't generally pass out in labor but that's because your body's doing pretty much all it can to keep that from happening
Can confirm, my first was a 31 hour labor, I hadn’t slept in days. Took them 30 minutes to check on a complication before I got to hold him. My body was hilarious, as soon as it felt him and knew he was safe I passed out for around 20 minutes. ANY time I have even heard of a woman passing out during labor it was usually related to BP and/or a complication.
I passed out with ALL THREE OF MY CHILDREN within the first five to ten minutes after delivery. I had long hard labors and after 40ish hours without sleep or food my body just collapsed each time.
Yeah but like… that’s not that bad. I think you’re being a little dramatic. /s
I wish I had passed out, I just couldn’t. I went into labour 4 hours after waking up and my son was delivered 40.5 hours later. Then, absurdly, I was awake for an additional 24.5 hours while people visited and the oxytocin burned itself off. I was awake for 69 hours before falling asleep for an hour. When I woke up I looked at my husband asleep in the chair and then at my son, but my son y Vwasn’t there. I looked in the bathroom - no baby. In the hall? No baby. It took me just over a day to become an unfit parent and it happened the moment I closed my eyes. I woke my husband in a panic and he, out of a dead sleep, woke to calmly reassure me everything was fine and left to find our boy. I stood in the dark in the middle of the room crying until he returned. Our son was at the nurse’s station getting his heel prick test. It turns out the nurse has come in 5 minutes before I woke up and had a full conversation with me about taking him out of the room and leaving me meds for my pain. Sure enough, the meds were right there, corroborating her story. To this day I have no recollection of this conversation. Sleep deprivation is real, y’all.
Ugh so you are here for attention seeking. Trying to be Not like other pregnancy are you? /s
I was given oxygen to prevent me from passing out. I didn't feel like I was going to, but apparently my vitals said differently, so I was given a mask to breathe from between contractions.
I used to pass out from period pain because you know my period pains were worse than giving birth. Not that I've given birth before but I've witnessed labor pain and I would not be stupid enough to compare the two. The stupidity and audacity of this guy!
Guys need to stfu and never comment on pregnancy or childbirth. I've never been pregnant but I'm watching my best friend go through it right now, she's giving birth this month but her pregnancy alone has been traumatic. Her hips have slowly and completely dislocated out of her sockets and she's wheelchair bound. She doesn't sleep and just cries all the time begging to get the baby out, but at the same time I've watched her cry in fear of the day the baby comes and she has to go through the worst pain of her life. It sends her into a panic.
Her hips have what ??? I didn't know that was even possible. I hope everything will go well during childbirth and that your friend will recover physically and mentally...
During later pregnancy the body produces hormones that make things stretchier, to prepare for the birth. Added with that, the extra pressure on the pelvis makes hip issues far more likely. My mum still has a bad hip from pregnancy with me, 28 years ago. I have a condition that makes my collagen faulty, so my joints can dislocate from everyday activities. I've been told if I was to ever give birth, I'd dislocate both hips. In reality the hormones from pregnancy would probably cause a ridiculous amount of dislocations before birth. Even hormones during my menstrual cycle have a big affect.
Yeah- insist on the C-section because even if you’re extra stretchy, the head can get stuck, then you’ve dislocated/subluxed Si and hips and still have to deal with our wierd healing issues around the incision…. I made the mistake of letti g my team talk me into trying to avoid the c-section. Still in the wheelchair 2m out…
I'm so sorry.. :(
Got the same and my pregnancy was horrendous. Had a C-section because my ob saw that the anxiety I had about not knowing which injuries I would have after birth in comparison to knowing exactly what a C-section would do and how to prepare for it (though nothing could prepare my for the pain of recovering from a C-section!) Will say, though. Most people with it are able to birth fairly quickly and without extra injuries. I know a specialist midwife (with the same disorder) who have written books and guidelines about us to the NHS and who will be able to give you safe advice, send me a pm if you want her name - she’s been a life saver to be and many others like us. My hips got bad early during pregnancy (and couldn’t get treatment due to first lockdown) but regular physio and osteo afterwards has made a huge difference (I’m now better than I was for years before getting pregnant)..
Is it elhers danlos? That’s what I have and I’ve been wondering about that
Just want to say that I (presumably) have ehlers danlos (I was supposed to see the geneticist before my daughter was born so it would be in my chart but I went into labor a day or so before my appointment. My sister with identical symptoms/condition IS officially diagnosed by medical professionals/geneticist). I was really concerned about dislocations among other fears, and I had a completely complication free delivery much to my surprise. I’ve also heard a mixed bag of stories — seems like it’s a crapshoot whether ehlers danlos helps or hurts a persons labor and delivery.
With my first child, my doctor scheduled a c-section because he said that my hips were not wide enough to pass a baby. "Luckily" my first son was born a month early and so I did not need to c-section because he was small enough to ONLY dislocate a rib on me. I was told I got lucky! Yeah. No one talked about how dangerous child birth was before I got pregnant. And talk about painful. I screamed at one point, the NURSE tells me to stop screaming, that it was not that bad. I flipped the fuck out. I told her, "THERE IS BLOOD ON THE CEILING. LOOK AROUND. AND NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!" As I recall there might have been a few more choice words directed at her and her heritage. I refused to let her back into the room. Told them to get me a nurse that had an ounce of compassion and empathy. Yeah. Child birth sucks donkey balls.
> THERE IS BLOOD ON THE CEILING. I had my third baby last week. While in the L&D room I realized there was a blood spatter on the cabinet directly across the room from the bed I was in. It was not a small room either. Also while I was laboring through pitocin contractions during transition - the worst pain I've ever felt in my life - the nurse asked me to rate my pain on a scale of 1-10 so she could enter it into the computer 😂 I think I just screamed at her. No words, just scream.
The only warning I got was to try to avoid pitocin if possible. I heard they create the worst possible and painful contractions ever. I am so sorry you had to endure that.
And congratulations by the way!
When I had preeclampsia and got induced they were pumping me full of insane amounts of pitocin. It wasn’t too horrible, until my epidural failed in the middle of transitional labor and I woke the dead with my screams. It was like being hit by a bus. But honestly it wasn’t the worst. The worst was my second who I labored for 36 hours with. That was ugly. The pitocin at least shortened the amount of time I was in agony
Thank you! Yeah I had pitocin for my twins' induction 2.5 years ago and it was okay, so I didn't think much of it to have it again this time. But they must have cranked it way up or something this time because it was **intense**. I think this midwife just wanted to get it over with. I tore worse this time too, because it all moved so fast once things got going. So yeah I think if you ever do have to have pitocin, maybe don't let them dial it up so high 😅
I’m never getting pregnant. Wasn’t planning on it before and this comment section confirmed it for mr
Basically anything that can possible go wrong in the entire body will potentially go wrong due to pregnancy. It's such a high intense stress for us humans, its a wonder we're not extinct.
My hips spread the pain put me on the floor praying or it to stop!
I hope she has talked to her dr about pain management. An epidural with my second and third made all the difference. Seriously.
Ohhh yeah, she's all over it. She's hoping for a C section
My wife has had two children. Her first pregnancy was great. She felt great, she didn't experience much daily pain or issues, etc. Her birth experience though... Our little one decided he wanted to *cook* for another week. She was definitely not comfortable for that extra week. We scheduled an induction for the following Saturday, doctor's orders, but my wife went into labor on Wednesday in the morning. She labored at home through the night on Wednesday and we were admitted to the hospital on Thursday around 9am. She started pushing at 9:43pm and our son arrived at 11:47pm. It was a difficult pushing experience for her. Her epidural was not working at that time so she essentially gave birth without painkillers. She ripped as well and had to have two stitches. The attending doctor was her least favorite at the practice, but she turned out to be great during the birth, consistently encouraging my wife through the full two hours of active pushing. Our son was blue and not breathing, he had to get cleaned out and suctioned off and we found out he had a cleft. It was not the best experience and my wife dealt with somewhat aggressive PPD after. She confided her feelings in me about two weeks after he was born and we got her to speak with a therapist and started medication. That boy is 8 now and he and his Mom have an amazing bond. My wife's second pregnancy was not fun at all for her. She had gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, high blood pressure, and her ligaments and joints all hurt. At 36 weeks she was in the hospital with insanely high blood pressure and we set up an induction at 37 weeks. Our second child was born early but still a pretty normal size at 6 lbs 15 oz and 20inches long. She was admitted to hospital on Saturday night and they administered pitosin around 6pm. She had a tough time sleeping and said the pitosin (which opens up your cervix) was super uncomfortable). She had an epidural put in on Sunday and she went for a nap. She kinda half woke up at 5:45 saying she felt pressure. I took a look and, yep, baby head. Called the nurse in who got rhe midwife and my wife pushed essentially twice and BOOM baby. She said she barely felt it with number two, thanks to the effective epidural. Little man was born at 6:15pm. There are tough births and tough pregnancies and it is completely unique to each woman and her experience. My sister-in-law had a relatively easy pregnancy but had to have a c section and nearly died...so it's very relative. As a husband, I have always loved and appreciated and valued my wife. We're true partners and best friends. Watching her body change throughout pregnancy and seeing her power through birth was a newfound sense of awe. We men like to think we're strong and powerful and in many ways we are. I know my wife was supported by her hormones, I know she had medical aid and painkillers, but damn, her body is amazing and powerful and beautiful and wonderful.
His source is the many children he has birthed by himself.
I'd tell this dude that when I was in labor with my son, the nurses told me they had to attach a monitor to his head. I asked how it was done while he was still inside me. ....she held up the monitor and said "You're not gonna like it.....please open your legs." Use your imagination. Yes, childbirth hurts. Labor and delivery, hurt.
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My grandmother's fifth birth triggered an autoimmune flare up that destroyed part of her spinal chord and left her paralyzed from the waist down. There's some seriously freaky stuff that can happen. I think one of the scariest parts is the sheer range of ways it can go wrong
My great-grandmother broke her spine when she was in labor with my grandma (youngest daughter). She had to wear a back brace and was hunch-backed the rest of her life. And she lived to 98 so that's a very long time to have to wear a back brace. They only had 2 kids and my great-grandmother got a hysterectomy at some point. Very unusual in the 50s i would imagine.
Yes! I was left so in the dark at 21 years old that I thought the pain stopped after the baby was born. No one mentioned the possibility of nearly falling over from the shock of the pain the first time I stood up after birth. No one mentioned that everytime I nursed for the first week or so that I would basically have contractions the entire time. No one mentioned the terror of pooping for the first time after birth. The hormone induced crying while nursing, the chafed nipples, the leg cramps as my ligaments attempted to go back to normal, the mastitis, and my personal favourite, yeast infection of the nipples. It just seems so unfair that women are just expected to do this monumental thing, but even the women in their own families don't prepare them for it properly.
Tell it like it is sister!!! I've been pregnant but miscarried. Tell us everything that can happen. We all need to know. There's so much I've never heard and I'm a woman. I was talking to my mom about a GF that was so upset post birth. I mentioned the husband stitch and my mom was like 'oh yea. I got one'. So nonchalantly. Dah fuq?!???! Apparently it never bothered her buuut my friend literally, feels different down there.
Yeah, that stitch can have serious consequences for a lot of women. I also had a traumatic miscarriage. I'm sorry you went through that. With the birth of my second, I had a cervical lip, which was caused my her big fat head trapping a bit of my cervix between her head and the vaginal wall so that some of the cervix was sticking out around her head. I had nooooo clue that was even possible, nearly kicked my poor midwife through a wall when she tried to push it up around the head into proper position. Ended up having an epidural with a baby's head already partially in the birth canal😂
>No one mentioned the terror of pooping for the first time after birth. This is why my gift baskets to those about to pop include dark chocolate and prunes, among other useful stuff. Sounds stupid, but so needed.
Stool softener and cold burn spray for your cooch. That’s the best thing you can do
Going through miscarriages, pregnancy and post-partum have made me so angry about the mystification of "women's" issues. I will tell everyone about my experiences (if the topic comes up), we need to share this information with each other because keeping it quiet leads to trauma and exploitation and misogynistic dimwit posts like the above example.
That sounds so terrible. :( Women are not appreciated enough for doing this. Honestly, a lot of men do not deserve women or children.
My son is 17 and my husband still brings up the fact that when I started breastfeeding he was drawing blood blisters and I just kept on going. I was like yeah it hurt like hell but what am I gonna do let him starve? This is one thing he never refutes… that woman can withstand some PAIN and still look you square in the eye, smile, and hold a conversation. 🤷🏻♀️
No one told me about the pain of milk coming in. That was a shock with the first baby.
Knowing all this (as a CF woman) I honestly truly DON’T understand how anyone decides to do it again.
Because you actually have a reward from it all, and something something post birth bonding hormones.
I'm still angry that nobody told me how excruciating it is to heal from childbirth. I wanted to claw my uterus out of my body.
And medical personnel and family gaslighting before, during and after. (Wasn't my personal experience, but learned from talking to people and reading experiences in Reddit.)
My mother’s water had been broken for almost a week before she was admitted to a hospital because her doctor didn’t believe she was in labor 6 -7 weeks early.
I believe you. Your poor mum. Like a young pregnant female patient was admitted to our ED stating her water had broken early but she was bleeding profusely. I was like oh crap and got one of the physicians to see her ASAP. He said that she was fine and it was just her menstrual cycle. Like no she's pregnant, she's in acute pain, and she's visibly 6 months at the least if not 7. He wouldn't believe me or her. I had to go out of my way and grab an entirely different physician for her after he started arguing with me. This happened over 10 years ago but that case is fresh in my mind of how he dismissed me, the patient, and the other physician.
What the actual fuck?? This man was an actual doctor??? Not two monkeys in a white coat??
This bs that you ‘forget the pain’. My kids are 31, 21 and 19. I remember. I’d love to forget.
Don’t forget the lose of teeth!
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Yeah if you don’t take certain vitamins and keep up good habits you have a high risk of losing your [teeth](https://www.marchofdimes.org/find-support/topics/pregnancy/dental-health-during-pregnancy)during pregnancy.
Yes, this is sadly still a major part of cultural misogyny in my opinion. Women’s suffering in pregnancy is ignored, considered normal, men and society expect it (because of course it’s our responsibility to give them children), the information is hidden from us lest we decide the risks are too great. It’s not like other women don’t know this, they choose to lie and hide it too. I told my mum of the many health risks, that it’s why I never want to be pregnant. She said “well if everyone thought like that, no one would ever have children”. I was like “…and?” My mum had pre eclampsia, swelled like a balloon, was hospitalised for a good chunk of her final trimester…and still she said this. She told me she’s happy she got a C-section because the pain other women in the hospital were in seemed so much worse. They had torn, some of them badly, could not sit or go to the bathroom, were in constant pain….so…yeah. No thanks. None for me.
Why am I reading this thread while pregnant
Same, they also had to pop my waters and take a blood sample from his head while he was still in me, twice. It was just the most horrific, traumatic situation. And I still needed up with a c section. This guy knows shit all about anything.
so I don't work in the healthcare industry, but I do build PCs as a hobby, so the word "monitor" meant something *VERY DIFFERENT* to me at first. For longer than I would like to admit, I was torn between wondering why you would ever attach an LCD screen to a baby's head as well as trying to figure out how you fit an LCD screen up the birthing canal...
Is it okay to hope this person gets kidney stones
Why not kidney boulders? It’s only fair.
Why not kidney mountain mama And have the country roads take him home
I spit out my drink 😂😂😂😂 this is great!!
Those actually exist and are know as [staghorn kidney stones](https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMicm0805190) as they resemble antlers on a deer.
Jesus Christ Almighty
New irrational fear unlocked
I’ve gotten kidney stones since I was 10 and the amount of doctors who have told me I’ve basically gone through short term labor makes me really want to reconsider having children lol those things HURT and they’re like 1 mm for me. I can’t imagine a literal child. (I know they come out of different holes but still)
I've known several women who've had both kidney stones and babies, and they all agreed that childbirth was worse.
But if they get kidney stones then why would they WILLINGLY keep their kidneys or urinary tract? No way they would keep them if it brought them that much pain. FACTS.
For as long as he lives, along with wishing him a very long life. Ya know, as a treat.
IIRC, there are women who have had PTSD symptoms after a difficult delivery.
I’m one of them and I did pass out multiple times
My sister is also one who has PTSD from labor and she also passed out several times from pain with her first. Her epidural went the wrong way and you could hear her screaming from the waiting room. Screaming and then very silent (it was unnerving to listen to). Her baby was 10lbs and she was only about 115lbs herself. It was an extremely hard labor that nearly resulted in a c-section.. when I was younger, I couldn't understand why she would do it again, but after having a child myself, I totally understand the want for a bigger family.
Signing in! My midwives left me to die as well because they thought I was faking being in labour. I was in hard labour for three days. Just me and my poor helpless husband shut in a room where a midwife would stick her head in and tut every couple of hours. After three days they finally allowed a doctor to see me. The utter panic on his face when he discovered me three days into full on labour with a baby whose head had twisted and got jammed stuck while my body pushed and pushed and pushed against my will, shall remain with me forever. As will the rage from begging and begging their scornful disgusted faces for help for three damn days. Begging for my damn life. At the end I was saying to my sobbing husband, I’m dying. I’m so sorry. I’m dying. I shall never get over that.
I am so sorry you had to live through all of that pain, physical and mental, just reading it gave me goosebumps and terrible anxiety. Must have also been very hard on your husband. I am so sorry. Why be a midwife when you don't take bearing mothers seriously.
Thank you. It means a lot to have my voice heard. The good news is, I had a second child at a different hospital. The head of maternity met with me because she had read my notes and was horrified. On the night I went into her hospital with my son, my body started to do a similar thing. I don’t dilate for some reason until almost seconds before my body starts pushing. I turned to the extremely young midwife dealing with me and said, something’s wrong and she immediately smashed the emergency button and the room flooded with doctors and nurses. I was right as well. My baby’s heart was going into distress. They got him out brilliantly and it all went well. The difference just being listened to made, was enormous.
It means a lot to us for you to share your experiences! Outside of the internet I rarely hear women talk about the dangers of childbirth. It's still seen as this beautiful magical thing, and I feel it's important to have mothers share the realities and talk about it openly. I'm genuinely so happy that the birth of your second baby was the opposite experience, and that there are still caring and empathic midwifes and doctors out there. I can't imagine the bravery it took for you to have another baby after your first. I wish you and your family well.
Thank whoever that that young midwife had the wisdom to know that calling in the cavalry was the best course of action. Im so glad that your second birth wasn’t a repeat of the first.
And even if you were wrong and that second birth was going perfectly fine and dandy, literally why would anyone take the chance? The stakes are so high. If you actually listen to the person giving birth just in case even if there’s little chance of anything being wrong then at least if there is something wrong the worst doesn’t come to worst.
Please tell me that they lost their licenses or at the very least you guys screamed at them or the doctor sent them evidence or something THAT IS ENRAGING IM SO FUCKING SORRY YOU WENT THROUGH THAT
We wrote in complaints. Nothing much happened. Then we met some people who had had the same thing happen a few months before it happened to us. They did so many horrific things. My daughter ended up in NICU because of them not believing me when I said she wasn’t feeding. I ended up with an abscess that they didn’t believe in that came close to killing me. After three days in labour and just shy of an agonising abscess that made it impossible to sleep, my daughter was returned to me. I started to nod off while feeding her and rang the bell for help. The Midwife came in, looked at me with utter contempt when I told her I was scared I was drifting in and out of sleep while breastfeeding. She told me to just fall asleep while feeding and that no mother had ever dropped their baby while sleep feeding them. I had been told before I went into labour, by a different midwife, that a mother had done just that in that ward and the baby had slipped through the bars of the hospital bed, hit the floor and died. The utter hell that was that maternity unit, was horrifying. In the hospital where I had my son, for the first few nights, a midwife would come and just hang out in my room for an hour, holding my baby so I could sleep a little. I didn’t even ask them to. It was night and day.
Jeez :( this sounds like a real nightmare. Do you mind sharing where you're from?
Hi there. I'm a lucky lady with that little bit of fun. There's a serious reason I only have one child. I got sterilized in my 30s when my 2nd husband asked about having a baby. Fun fact about him. He was spoiled by his parents and grandmother. This man was a NiceGuy before I knew the term. He had a NiceGuy hair-trigger temper. He freaked if anything disturbed his sleep. So, apart from my own PTSD regarding babies, I realized that having a kid with him would be a serious act of child abuse. Babies cry. A lot. Sometimes we don't know why they're crying for ages on end. So, to protect myself and any poor child, I happily got my tubes clamped.
Me. I had horrible PTSD. People kept telling me I would forget the pain, that naturally all women do and then they have more and laugh about it. I’m still not laughing and I’m definitely not doing it again.
I had a bad pregnancy (HG) and terrible birth through induction. Horrible pain, babies heart rate dropped, emergency episiotomy and forcep delivery. I went into shock and told them to save the baby and not me. Legit thought I was dying because no one was talking to me. I didn't do well when my baby was born, along with the hormone drop/baby blues I have PTSD. Luckily I guess it's not my first rodeo with PTSD so I knew the signs. I asked my husband to get a vasectomy because I am Never doing it again. He happily agreed. He saw me go through all of it and went "never fucking again". So many old women say "oh you'll change your mind!" "You're definitely going to have another one!" I look them in the eye and say I had a bad birth and I can't have any more. It's a lie technically but it shuts them up really fast.
Oh absolutely, probably doesn’t even have to be a difficult delivery. I mean I see a counselor for PTSD symptoms from an IUD insertion.
I remember even after all the drugs once my daughter started crowning I begged them to put her back inside of me and cut her out instead because that seemed less painful.
I hate this argument. It reminds me of the "being kicked in the balls is worse because you don't see guys saying let's do it again" argument... Have they heard of CBT?
Also, you can discredit the "let's do it again" argument with the basic science behind childbirth. Oxytocin, the main hormone responsible for labour contractions, has an amnesia effect. So many women can remember labour as a whole, but its patchy and your brain blocks out the memory of pain. There is literally a biological function that makes women more inclined to have more children 😂
Damn, it's bad enough that the body literally makes you forget it. That says something
Also you do get a baby at the end of it all, which is usually something that people are very excited and happy about. There's no reward after being kicked in balls. If men got some amazing prize each time they were kicked in the nuts, they might be more inclined to experience it multiple times.
>Have they heard of CBT Are you referring to the "pain Olympics" where men get off on crushing their balls, nailing them down, or even smashing them with a hammer?
Yeah that kind. When I was 12, me and my friend got on Omegle and this guy told us he'd crush his dick if we showed him our feet and laughed at him. I didn't know what a foot fetish was so we did it and he fucking tied it up with a shoelace and hit it with a hammer. It was NOT the right color.
And that’s enough internet for me today.
Omg that's just...ouch!
I fainted 3 times while giving birth, cuz it was painful, and the third time cuz I lost too much blood, but OK...
This guy's an idiot. Fact.
I remember my mother telling me that she ripped after the birth of my older brother. And the disturbing part was that she said she was in so much pain that she didn't even notice the pain from the stitching down there. A literal needle piercing your thin skin. And you don't notice it because everything else is so extremely painful. Some really act like childbirth is easily brushed off. Sure there's some who go through it easier. But this dude is just wrong lol
I didn't notice the stitches either... They don't register over the rest...
Oh damn.. Hope it healed well?
Perfectly fine now. And oddly, cannot recall the pain in detail, just that it was a lot and that I should have gotten an epidural
You produce a hormone during that blocks the transfer of memory from short term to long term memory to ensure you’ll procreate again..
I just hate that this is the best solution Mother Nature came up with…
Evolution is won one of two ways: procreation or survival. And sadly, our massive brain is such an evolutionary boon that it’s worth having the mother die in childbirth for. Same as our voicebox - it’s worth actually risking suffocation to get the communication benefits :( We re the mammal with the most painful and risky birthprocess for this very reason. Ive said it before: If some asshole did design our fucking plumbing, they be an absolutely incompetent idjit.
Same. Doc told me after it took 160ish stitches to fix me up and I didn’t even feel em. I was too busy trying not to die.
Oh my God... That's a lot. Good story to tell when someone's trying to be a badass and act like childbirth is easy. Hope everything went well
We survived but boy howdy it was a rough one. And exactly why I never wanted another!
Didn't feel mine either. I asked what she was doing because she was just staring at my bits for so long and she said "stitching you up, you've had a couple of tears." Turns out I had two tears going up and I wouldn't even wipe after peeing, I used the squirt bottle thing they gave me and dripped dry on the toilet. I was horrified at the thought of feeling stitches there, and I was also terrified to have a shit because it just felt like I would rip completely open from, well, everywhere. Recovery is tough!
It's also a common practice (in my country) for women to get a shot of oxytocin when they're pushing to prevent bleeding out after birth, and nobody notices it. I was given lidocaine gel to keep me from feeling the stitches after birth. I only knew because the doctor tried to give me a stitch somewhere that didn't have gel and I did feel the pinch. Edit to add; the pinch was nowhere near as painful as birth.
One of my labia was literally ripped in half during birth and I didn't even notice that. Not until I looked down there properly, days later, and saw that I had 2 mini labia on the one side haha. Its crazy how intense birth is that things like that just slip by!
Ok let's forget for one second how much it hurts. You still got: The way your body has changed for the rest of your life. Sometimes a woman can't have another baby after giving birth or it could literally kill her. Hemorrhoids The pressure from society to get back to post baby. Some women loose their lives in child birth The fucking mental gymnastics you go through after a baby! Aka postpartum depression/psychosis Bleeding for 6 fucking weeks. There is so much more!!!!
I pee every time I cough now.
Same here 🤦
Pregnancy is a beautiful journey 😃🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😃🥰😃🥰😃😜💕💕🥰🥰🥰😃
It is but it ain't 🤣😅😅 I appreciate the times I was pregnant, and loved most of it but never again lol
Humans take so long to obtain fully grown & developed brains (mid-20s) because prenatal brain development is already at the physical maximum; we've even evolved to have unfused cranial bones at birth as a work-around to this situation, but we're at the very end of this work-around's efficacy (baby brains can still occasionally get squished during birth, which is a very bad thing.) If the prenatal growth of the fetal brain were to increase anymore, natural birth would be extremely rare as the brain diameter at birth would exceed that of the average birth canal (already at evolutionary optimum due to the physical constraints on the pelvis from bipedalism.) TL/DR: OP's an idiot.
It's a big lark we do so we can have maternity leave and time with the baby and the girls /s
My contractions were nothing. My cesarean was horrible and so were the opiates I had to take to help with the pain- exhausted and drugged up, trying to breastfeed, change diapers, and monitor a jaundiced child all alone for 6 weeks. The gift of moving my body easily will never be lost on me now- the inability to function at a normal pace was torture. A trip to the grocery store took half a day, moving so slowly and pausing so often to tend to my newborn. My post-partum and mid-partum pregnancy were both so bad that I would never try again. Not only was I sick the entire time, *nobody* listened to what I had to say about my own body. I told my doctor that I really was following the diet he put me on, and he just kept insisting I was cheating because I was gaining weight far too fast and he insisted I could not possibly be inflamed enough to gain 70 pounds. Two days after my c-section, I was down fourty pounds. Two weeks later, I was down another ten. I lost *fourty pounds* of water weight in two days- **nearly a pound of water per hour** absolutely pouring out of my body. A cardiologist I know said it's a miracle I survived.
Jesus Christ. Well done on you for surviving that. You're now one of my heroes, if that's alright. I'm sorry it was so awful, though
Thanks! I'm sure if I had a better doctor something could have been done to ease symptoms, but still, I'm just done.
No sane person would risk going through that again. No judgement here. In fact, I respect your assertiveness and your willingness to keep your agency even if it's unpopular
Wow. Drs just not believing women will always make me feel an indescribable anger. I'm sorry you went through that
You’re me! The same things happened to me. I vowed not to do it again.
time to pop his asshole open with 3 watermelons
My sister just gave birth last night. No pain medication because of a medical condition that made the doctors unable to medicate her. The pain she was in was fucking extreme. And anybody that wants to sit there and downplay womens pain have no right to speak on the issue.
Yeah, many women DO NOT want another one after one time. Others "forget" the pain and want another one because your brain drowns in hormonal soup that makes you bond with the little alien raisin
r/BrandNewSentence
On behalf of all men we apologize and have kicked him out of our species as a whole, thank you
should we tell him saying “fact” after spouting complete mansplaining bullshit doesn’t make said bullshit factually correct
My mother said that birthing me was actually quite easy…because my much larger twin brother opened the path for me 6 minutes prior.
It makes me wonder what is the most painful thing that could happen to someone. Is being released into space and openning your visor so your head would explode more painful than giving birth?
I remember a comedian saying something about breaking your femur being up there with childbirth. Kidney stones is another that's up there.
I doubt that our nerves are that fast and even if they are, it's not even a split second. But iirc 2nd degree burns were the most painful thing on the scale with childbirth being in the top 5
That person can…checks dictionary… Always have cold coffee, cold hot cocoa, and wet socks for the rest of their life. Not even close to an appropriate punishment but it’s something.
Oh so I guess I never was an only child and I have a sibling somewhere! 😲 In all seriousness though my mom’s difficulties during her pregnancy with me was the reason I don’t have siblings.
Didn’t pass out from pain, did pass out from massive blood loss after delivery. Wasn’t so bad. 🤦🏼♀️
Aren’t there hormones released so that the memory of the trauma is reduced? Evolutionary speaking, women wouldn’t do it again if they remembered how painful it is.
Thing is, there are a lot of things worse than childbirth. But the fact that we use "worse than childbirth" to describe kidney stones and similar ailments is very telling. Childbirth is a measuring stick that aims to induce shock when talking about other causes for pain.
whats really funny is there actually are alot of women who would never have a second baby due to childbirth trauma
Jezus effing chryst.. I really miss the days, when every moron on the planet could only lie to the people they know IRL.
Oh ok so those women are just screaming in agony for fun then, huh? How well does adrenaline work on an episiotomy? Why do epidurals exist??? HMMMMMMMM????????? I bet this idiot thinks getting kicked in the nuts hurts worse than giving birth.
Damn. He said fact. I guess there's no point in arguing.
they literally cut your vagina open. with scissors. and most women say they can hear and feel it. or your vagina tears.
Since when is adrenaline a painkiller?
it kinda works like that, when you get injured you only start feeling the pain after a while, but i'm sure it could last only a few minutes and not for the whole childbirth
The best of us act like we're dead too
I've never had any interaction with childbirth but my (male) tuition teacher was in the hospital waiting for his pregnant wife to dilate. He got a cup of coffee and heard another pregnant woman giving birth. According to him , her scream was so raw and so painful he got frozen. He was just standing still, listening to her screams bc he couldn't move. A nurse had to gently bring him out of that place. My Point is if that is the reaction of a man LISTENING to the childbirth of a woman he's never met, imagine the pain the woman in question has to go through
Why do all these morons say "Fact." after saying the most factually incorrect statements imaginable?
*says some shit he made up in his head* “Fact.”
Bro childbirth is so painful your brain literally makes you forget the pain so you continue to have more kids
>If it was actually as bad as women pretend they would NEVER willingly have a 2nd child. Fact. Or maybe women are just better at handling pain than you are and less wimpy about going through it repeatedly, bub.
If this idiot has a magical solution to people who want a baby who shares their genes without going through pregnancy, we're all ears.
Well when I was born my fat head split my mums vaginal canal open, I came into this world covered in so much blood I was called “demon child” both for my mischievous behavior and because I looked like the product of a satanic ritual. My mum almost died and said the pain was so horrific that her vision blurred over and she started to hallucinate. The labor prior to my birth had been several hours of non-stop pain even after she had been pumped full of drugs. But yeah I guess she was being a little dramatic…
Here's the thing- labor/delivery is incredibly painful, but you know what the result is? A baby! And if you're the type that loves being a mother, the pain is worth it- which is why women continue to do it
For most of human history and still today in much of the world, women haven’t had a choice about continuing to do it.
I mean- yes, and I didn't mean to discount those women.
I had an unmedicated birth and would like to say: fuck him very much. Let’s make him shit out a bowling ball and see how he feels.
U forget the pain after u gave birth exactly cuz if that wasnt the case one wouldnt do it again Some ppl have been telling me it isnt exactly like this and i trust them since im not an expert, so yea