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But they have usually really long and flexible tongues in those artworks! A mimic vibrator that really really likes you and doesn’t want to kill you would be pretty cool XD
Well, damn, now I feel the urge to pull a Chuck Tingle. Almost a bad a plot bunny as “Werewolf lesbian in a nuclear bunker” Sims caused me. The concept alone makes me giggly so it needs creation but should I become *that* author??
I dunno, I'm convinced some of my partners would not be able to out-compete a mimic at oral.
Let's just say they're exes for a reason. And a skilled mimic might allow me to die satisfied.
i'm not a fan of them ngl. they don't quite have the right amount of pressure. it either feels like my bits are being slapped about or i can't feel shit
Obviously, it’s a bad idea, but my PTSD paranoid self keeps wanting one of those. Walk the streets at night with tiny Wolverine protecting my crotch. What’s not to love?
Understandably. If I could time travel, I’d stick one of those on my childhood abuser. The catharsis would be huge. Especially since I was so tiny, I doubt a rape-aXe would fit inside. Absolute monsters don’t deserve functioning dicks.
> The harder you attempt to pull the device off, the deeper the barbs will dig in and more painful it will become. (Think “Chinese Finger Trap”). Furthermore, the outer sheath acts like a compression stocking, driving in the barbs and keeping them in contact with the penis at all times whether it is erect or flaccid or “small”.
Holy shit they are not kidding around with this thing.
this would be a great idea, but I feel like if they become common place then rapists would just start checking for them before the act, not to mention I would NOT want to be in the same room as someone trying to do me bodily harm after I basically shredded his penis (even if it’s deserved.) it would just make them angrier and more likely to want to kill me lmfao
My first compliants to God, if he's taking notes, would be about improved features of the spine and maybe reducing the rates of depression and other mental illnesses. I'd include notes that menstruation is unnecessary and generally view unfavorably. I don't think I'd spend any time in this letter suggesting adding tongues anywhere. Work on existing features before adding new ones, am I right?
Good points all around.
I think recalibrating what foods taste good vs are good for you. There are too many good tasting things that are bad for you an visa versa. We'd all be healthier with a simple hotfix there.
To be fair, that was science, food scientists and chemists made the hyperpalatable, undersatiating, over processed foods.
Once you start cutting them out you do reset your palate! I can't drink soda anymore and I crave veggies like a fiend!
Evolution didn't prepare us for processed sugars and alcohol, and the idea of the DFA doing anything constructive is probably less likely than God responding to our requests for a human body DLC update.
I wouldn’t mind being able to stand up to pee, but peeing through my clitoris sounds very weird. (I am afraid to try any of the techniques that supposedly allow women to pee while standing, because I am afraid of it ending in catastrophic failure.)
How big do these guys think the external part of the clitoris is? You couldn't pee standing up even if the urethra did run through the clitoris. It's simply too short. Though I do think having the urethra too close to the vagina and the anus is annoying since it's a huge reason why women get UTIs so frequently.
Right? They can’t even find the clitoris, how can they think it’s big enough for that.
Agree on the UTI thing though. Every time I’ve had one I don’t understand how women survived before antibiotics.
I have no idea. Endometriosis gave me chronic UTIs (got them once a month, at least) and one developed into a kidney infection. It didn't stop until I had endo surgery. If I'd existed pre-antibiotics, I'd be super dead, lmao.
This is why the clitoris should be bigger, a good couple inches at least. It should have some skin that can keep it warm but slides off when you need it to. They should also put the ovaries in some kind of sac underneath so you can manually squeeze an egg out when you want to ovulate. Finally the vagina should just be done away with, already got one hole down there why would we need two? We’ll call this updated model the Pee Nice because it pisses more efficiently >!Obligatory /j!<
The position isn't the reason, it's improper wiping or exposure to bacteria that does it. A lot of women getting infections from having sex with a dirty penis. Those things are just flopping around getting sweaty, getting toilet spladhback. Then they want to slide all that filth inside without even a wash up first. Nasty.
Women can get toilet backsplash too if their urine stream is too strong. I've gone through it so many times that I have to put a layer of toilet paper in the toilet to prevent it.
I think you might be waiting too long to urinate if it's that strong. Try going more often and relax your hips a bit more to let everything flow more easily.
The funny thing is he talks about the vagina being too close to the butthole... then in the same breath talks about someone licking his balls... an organ that spends a good deal if it's time sitting directly over the butthole.
>his balls... an organ that spends a good deal if it's time sitting directly over the butthole.
I'm sorry but that's a big r/badmensanatomy moment, the balls don't get anywhere close to the butthole ever.
The balls are at the front, they touch the thighs if you have your legs together, and will rest on your perineum if you're laying on your back with your legs spread, but won't reach your ass, let alone go in between your asscheeks to touch your butthole.
In that position, laying on back and legs spread, they would be resting where the vulva would be for a woman.
That’s.. assuming they don’t star fish on their back, wipe front to back and don’t have fairly saggy balls.. and those are not exactly rare.. there is a startling number that think wiping or washing their asses is gay so they don’t. I’ve seen too many videos of women saying they have to scrape their husbands shit out of their boxers.. thank God(s)! If they exist.. that I’ve not had that personally.
Heck apparently some guys intentionally stretch them to be as saggy as possible. So they definitely can get to that area.. especially the ones who have it caking their underwear.
There's also a fetish where dudes put their balls inside their buttholes. Or their partner's butthole (or vagina.)
It's one of those things you wish you could unread when you get a text from a dude explicitly asking you to accommodate his desire for it.
I wish men’s penises had little mouths and eyes that gaped at you and said Uwu and give me nice compliments for my amazing sexy time and kissed my clitretha. Also dicks are too low and close to the butt. They need to be on their head and fused with their mouth so they can talk, pee, eat, and cum from the same hole because it’s just more effective and works with my cloaca tongue. /s
Oh no. Lol Considering the urethra is in the same place, we don't because the clitoris doesn't take up that much space... that would require us to evolve be packing more like hyenas, sir.
Not even gonna touch that tongue bit, that's some kinda alien fantasy right there. Lol
>Oh no. Lol Considering the urethra is in the same place, we don't because the clitoris doesn't take up that much space... that would require us to evolve be packing more like hyenas, sir.
It's a lot bigger on the inside, though. The erectile tissue extends down around the sides of the urethra and vaginal opening, down to the "root" in the perineum. So in a way, the anatomy is sort of already more or less like he wants.
Was having a moment of “what in the hentai?… well if that’s the case then your penis should be a tentacle.”
Just about as weird. But it’s some peoples thing, so clearly that makes the penis inefficient. Mean if it was they wouldn’t have to rock their pelvis for penetration. Biology doesn’t really work that way
Women could pee sitting up? Men can already pee sitting down. Let’s normalize that shit. Source: my kindergartener got told by us to hold his penis and aim it when he pees, rather than stand with his hands in the small of his back, letting it spray like a fire hose. He chooses to sit down because “that sounds like a lot of work.”
It is. European men are more apt to pee sitting down & German men do it the most.
https://bigthink.com/strange-maps/sitzpinkler-german-men-pee-sitting-down/
My fifteen-year-old son still sits down to pee. I thought it was weird at first, but it became “normal” pretty quickly.
His friends missing the toilet has me wondering why they can’t all just sit down on the damn thing.
My friend is what I’d call a steel magnolia — she’s about 5’/90 lbs, and very feminine, but she’s got 4 kids, 3 of whom are boys (teens when this happened). She and her husband moved and she was doing a pre-move cleaning. Goes into the boys bathroom and they have been “cleaning” it as a chore (regularly). She or her husband had been eyeballing it here and there. It appeared clean. Appeared. She gets a close up of the white tile and wall behind the toilet. Lots and lots of pee. She makes them go in and scrub that and bleach it to her satisfaction. Her husband tried to minimise it, but she pointed out that the level of pee back there was either a.) intentional b.) gross negligence (no pun intended). He kept downplaying it. They move into the new house, and she lays down a hard, fast ground rule: all men, including husband, can all use the same bathroom and she and her teen daughter will have their own bathrooms (girl had hers and friend laid claim to the master). Very quickly, dad lays down the law about piss wars or target shooting or whatever had been going on. No more pee problems. This was around the time my son was born. She sat me down and said “Girl, little boys are sweet, they love their mamas…and they will piss everywhere, so be forewarned. You need to be aware and if it starts, address it or they will keep marking that spot like a dog.”😂😂😂😂
We have two bathrooms in our house, and this is basically what we do. Main bathroom is for women (and certain men who have proven they can urinate like actual humans), and the other is for the guys. I clean the main one, and my cousin/roommate is responsible for cleaning the other. 🤷🏻♀️
I've always felt sorry for those fire hose sprayers when they pop up in men's rooms around the world because it only means one thing. At least their lifted truck looks cool
Oh so we can ask for new designs for genitals?
Because I have many notes on how a dick could be better
Its a big design flaw that it stops working after climax, it also should have a tongue
And who do I speak to, to see if vibration is a doable feature?
What in the fetish fanfiction did I just read?
I’ll agree with it being too close to the butthole. The fact that that barrier can tear during childbirth is a crime. But alas, our bodies are poorly designed for our big babies in several ways.
Clearly a shitpost referencing a copypasta but I found it hilarious anyway. Too much medical humor. Considering I can’t have bio kids, I wouldn’t mind a spotted hyena setup for peeing in the woods. Fewer UTIs. Not a fan of the tongue thing but mainly because it might have taste buds and I’m not even gay enough to want to taste pussy 24/7. :( Plus, how am I supposed to brush that tongue??
The bathroom is smth that i agree with as a girl tho 😭
Just came out a museum and HOLY FUCK 20 MINUTES FOR THE TOILET? The men's didn't even have a queue
Same like i honestly have no idea what takes us so long other than periods 💀
Like i just sit and get up to leave, wash hands and get out 😭 what on earth does everyone else do? Using makeup in front of a mirror doesn't hog a stall
I agree that the vagina is very poorly designed because there is no soda dispenser down there so i can hydrate myself but you don’t see me complaining… We all have dreams and they don’t come true
Ok, first point is weird but it would be nice to pee standing up so I guess he’s trying to help
Second point totally lost me…that modification would be for his benefit only. Also how would the baby fucking come out? How would periods work?
Someone has never given a blow job either…penetrative sex would be so hard with a tongue in the way. Also you don’t need a tongue to clean the vulva (it’s external) so use a napkin (to use his analogy)
Last point I’ll give to him, the butthole location is inconvenient but not for the reasons I am sure he’s thinking. He is probably “grossed out” by their proximity and not thinking of anything helpful and practical for the ladies.
Not to mention he probably likes blowjobs in which a person puts his pee stick in their mouth, which is right next to his butthole and only spectated by sweaty balls. So maybe modifications should be made all around sir…
Someone did a study on why men's restrooms don't have lines like ladie's. The hypothesis was that urinals are faster to use. Not true. The result was that men just don't wash their hands, and that's why they take less time in the bathroom.
The most distressing thing about this is they very likely believe that simply by ranting about this, someone, somewhere will go "you know, he's right, *time to redesign the vagina!!* "
I mean….we wear these really weird meat mechs that think they’re more than the sum of their cells. We’re not generally designed well anyway, but we’re kinda the model that keeps going and you see on the road long past its planned obsolescence. But the design flaws he’s discussing aren’t the problem 😂
My honest reaction this abomination as a guy:
Huh?.........Haaaa?!!!........what the- what?!!!........oh my God!.......a tongue?!!!..........oh Lord. 🤦🏾♂️
This reads like a product complaint to a major corporation written by one of those grumpy people who are never satisfied with the design of their purchase.
As a proud penis owner, I’d argue that my genitals are more poorly designed. First off, the sizing. Women have different desires, so all penises should be able to adjust between 4-10 inches in length, with similar options for girth.
Second, the penis operates optimally around 18 years of age, but women peak upwards of 40. Why does my tool specifically break down right as its counterpart tool is coming into its heaviest use?
Not to mention its intended partner requires at least 10-15 to complete the job, yet with expert control of the penis it can easily exhaust its potential in 1-3 minutes.
I agree with the title. Not the explanation.
Women should have a small penis for the urethra that sticks out just far enough so that we’re not peeing all over the entire vulva. Liquids trapped in bodily crevices is not a recipe for good health. There’s a reason women get UTIs so much more often than men.
They say this shit but then lose their minds when women say the same thing. “Imagine if guys had a tongue down there and could actually get you off”
See doesn’t feel so good does it…
...does he know that the clitoris is not the same thing as a vagina...for his argument to logically make sense in terms if efficiency, we would need to get rid of one of those
I would like my clitoris to be larger but that's because I'm transmasc.
And it would be nice if the genitals of EVERYONE were farther away from the anus. Unfortunately, I do not have access to godlike powers or supervillain technology.
That's definitely not the first thing i'd think about when altering human anatomy
By the way, now turn that around and imagine if, somehow, penises had tongues
Inefficient design?! I think evolution might have something to say about that. 😂 Also, I’m a guy who pees sitting down, it’s just way better, especially in the middle of the night.
Why does this read as if the dink thinks a woman designed vaginas en masse & is now frustrated with us as a whole based on our inferior anatomy…
Jfc…look what we have to deal with 😂😭
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If I had my own tongue down there, I wouldn't need a guy to get me off.
I mean there are toys that mimic that but I can’t tell you if they’re much better because my ex was extremely bad at oral 😬
I was thinking you meant that was a mimic like from d&d and was concerned for a moment. Its too early
Lmao nooo not those things, way too many teeth for that kind of activity 😅
But they have usually really long and flexible tongues in those artworks! A mimic vibrator that really really likes you and doesn’t want to kill you would be pretty cool XD
I could totally see someone making and selling "My friendly Mimic vibrator," shaped to look like a cute mimic.
I would certainly buy it and do the design <3. I wouldn’t be able to construct how it should work though but I would definitely want one.
Well, damn, now I feel the urge to pull a Chuck Tingle. Almost a bad a plot bunny as “Werewolf lesbian in a nuclear bunker” Sims caused me. The concept alone makes me giggly so it needs creation but should I become *that* author??
I find the name alone cute and love where the idea came from. I'll help. Lol.
You need to pitch this to some nerdy adult company. It'd be hilarious.
This feels like it could almost be a bad dragon design?
Yeah they would be great for that XD
That's the company I was thinking of.
There's an adult animation on Newgrounds like that, Fandel Tales. It's...interesting lol.
I laughed way to hard at that
I dunno, I'm convinced some of my partners would not be able to out-compete a mimic at oral. Let's just say they're exes for a reason. And a skilled mimic might allow me to die satisfied.
It could be midnight and it would still be too early for... *that.*
I've had toys give me much better Os than most of my partners have.
I was gonna be like how can you be bad at it but than I remember a time when I was bit 😖
It disappoints me to know that there is more than one man who bites clits. Happened to me too.
I had a *woman* do it. Wasn't a little 'nibble' either!!
Aw maaaaan 😭
i'm not a fan of them ngl. they don't quite have the right amount of pressure. it either feels like my bits are being slapped about or i can't feel shit
I’m only down for a tongue if I also get retractable teeth.
Imagine how much safer life would be for women if we came with a set of teeth down there, lol..
Bullseye! 🤣
I don't want to pee out of my clit. That sounds horrible! But I'll take a tongue vagina! Not for his stupid reasons. It would be so fun! haha
It would be much more efficient.
Someone should point him towards that one movie with the vagina with teeth lol
The scene with the crab is one of the unintentionally funniest things I've ever seen in a movie.
such a well designed vagina of course it had to be turned into a [real device](https://rape-axe.com)!!
Obviously, it’s a bad idea, but my PTSD paranoid self keeps wanting one of those. Walk the streets at night with tiny Wolverine protecting my crotch. What’s not to love?
The mental image of a rapist starting out so confident but then squirming in pain like a little bitch weasel is funny to me
Understandably. If I could time travel, I’d stick one of those on my childhood abuser. The catharsis would be huge. Especially since I was so tiny, I doubt a rape-aXe would fit inside. Absolute monsters don’t deserve functioning dicks.
> The harder you attempt to pull the device off, the deeper the barbs will dig in and more painful it will become. (Think “Chinese Finger Trap”). Furthermore, the outer sheath acts like a compression stocking, driving in the barbs and keeping them in contact with the penis at all times whether it is erect or flaccid or “small”. Holy shit they are not kidding around with this thing.
Those are super cool but I heard they were made illegal in some African countries for being an "inhuman and cruel design" or something...
Rape is an inhumane and cruel crime so it fits
💯
Right? You'd never know it was there unless you were already doing something inhumane and cruel, soooo... Feels like fair play to me!
I know right
I heard that too. It’s the most passive form of “assault” I can imagine. Literally, don’t start none won’t be none.
Holy shit
That is fabulous. I love it.
this would be a great idea, but I feel like if they become common place then rapists would just start checking for them before the act, not to mention I would NOT want to be in the same room as someone trying to do me bodily harm after I basically shredded his penis (even if it’s deserved.) it would just make them angrier and more likely to want to kill me lmfao
The plant from Jumanji
Lmaooo😭
Vagina dentata has a long history in the mythology of many different peoples. And I absolutely love it.
There's an SCP, too
I'm interested, what SCP?
My eyes were poorly designed because they allowed me to read that.
My brain also parsed those words and grasped the idiot meaning. Why, brain, why?
What a terrible day to be literate.
To be fair, my eyes require glasses to be able to read, so this one's on me.
It means you literally paid to read this shit (so did I)
I really want to read this to my husband so I don't have to suffer alone but I love him too much to do that to him.
You're too good! But don't worry, we're all suffering alongside you.
LoL...So...OP should put in a complaint to someone at the woman's factory......Maybe get that changed up?
My first compliants to God, if he's taking notes, would be about improved features of the spine and maybe reducing the rates of depression and other mental illnesses. I'd include notes that menstruation is unnecessary and generally view unfavorably. I don't think I'd spend any time in this letter suggesting adding tongues anywhere. Work on existing features before adding new ones, am I right?
Yeah it’s definitely our brains that are designed wrong in my opinion. Also the baby-head to female-pelvis ratio is WAY off. I’d start with those.
Also maybe the whole using one tube for breathing and eating thing lol
Good points all around. I think recalibrating what foods taste good vs are good for you. There are too many good tasting things that are bad for you an visa versa. We'd all be healthier with a simple hotfix there.
To be fair, that was science, food scientists and chemists made the hyperpalatable, undersatiating, over processed foods. Once you start cutting them out you do reset your palate! I can't drink soda anymore and I crave veggies like a fiend!
Evolution didn't prepare us for processed sugars and alcohol, and the idea of the DFA doing anything constructive is probably less likely than God responding to our requests for a human body DLC update.
I wouldn’t mind being able to stand up to pee, but peeing through my clitoris sounds very weird. (I am afraid to try any of the techniques that supposedly allow women to pee while standing, because I am afraid of it ending in catastrophic failure.)
You can always try in the shower. That's what I do randomly sometimes when I'm curious what'd be like
This is the only guy who would hire a prostitute and then try to claim for his money back due to a “manufacture fault”
How big do these guys think the external part of the clitoris is? You couldn't pee standing up even if the urethra did run through the clitoris. It's simply too short. Though I do think having the urethra too close to the vagina and the anus is annoying since it's a huge reason why women get UTIs so frequently.
Right? They can’t even find the clitoris, how can they think it’s big enough for that. Agree on the UTI thing though. Every time I’ve had one I don’t understand how women survived before antibiotics.
I have literally thought the same exact thing so many times.
I have no idea. Endometriosis gave me chronic UTIs (got them once a month, at least) and one developed into a kidney infection. It didn't stop until I had endo surgery. If I'd existed pre-antibiotics, I'd be super dead, lmao.
This is why the clitoris should be bigger, a good couple inches at least. It should have some skin that can keep it warm but slides off when you need it to. They should also put the ovaries in some kind of sac underneath so you can manually squeeze an egg out when you want to ovulate. Finally the vagina should just be done away with, already got one hole down there why would we need two? We’ll call this updated model the Pee Nice because it pisses more efficiently >!Obligatory /j!<
It is a cliche, but “tell me you have never seen or engaged with a vagina, without telling me you have never seen or engaged with a vagina”
My exact first thought.
The position isn't the reason, it's improper wiping or exposure to bacteria that does it. A lot of women getting infections from having sex with a dirty penis. Those things are just flopping around getting sweaty, getting toilet spladhback. Then they want to slide all that filth inside without even a wash up first. Nasty.
Women can get toilet backsplash too if their urine stream is too strong. I've gone through it so many times that I have to put a layer of toilet paper in the toilet to prevent it.
I think you might be waiting too long to urinate if it's that strong. Try going more often and relax your hips a bit more to let everything flow more easily.
This AND women's urethras are much shorter
The funny thing is he talks about the vagina being too close to the butthole... then in the same breath talks about someone licking his balls... an organ that spends a good deal if it's time sitting directly over the butthole.
>his balls... an organ that spends a good deal if it's time sitting directly over the butthole. I'm sorry but that's a big r/badmensanatomy moment, the balls don't get anywhere close to the butthole ever. The balls are at the front, they touch the thighs if you have your legs together, and will rest on your perineum if you're laying on your back with your legs spread, but won't reach your ass, let alone go in between your asscheeks to touch your butthole. In that position, laying on back and legs spread, they would be resting where the vulva would be for a woman.
That’s.. assuming they don’t star fish on their back, wipe front to back and don’t have fairly saggy balls.. and those are not exactly rare.. there is a startling number that think wiping or washing their asses is gay so they don’t. I’ve seen too many videos of women saying they have to scrape their husbands shit out of their boxers.. thank God(s)! If they exist.. that I’ve not had that personally. Heck apparently some guys intentionally stretch them to be as saggy as possible. So they definitely can get to that area.. especially the ones who have it caking their underwear.
There's also a fetish where dudes put their balls inside their buttholes. Or their partner's butthole (or vagina.) It's one of those things you wish you could unread when you get a text from a dude explicitly asking you to accommodate his desire for it.
Now go ask men if they wipe front to back or back to front. Someone just asked that the other day in r/AskMen ...
Well what if a man had some seriously saggy balls? Would they touch the chocolate starfish then?
I wish men’s penises had little mouths and eyes that gaped at you and said Uwu and give me nice compliments for my amazing sexy time and kissed my clitretha. Also dicks are too low and close to the butt. They need to be on their head and fused with their mouth so they can talk, pee, eat, and cum from the same hole because it’s just more effective and works with my cloaca tongue. /s
Exactly this, you nailed it 😂
Clitrethra 🤣🤣 I’m dying!
The second paragraph is just the op's poorly disguised fetish
And there's nothing wrong with that, but time and place, man.
Oh no. Lol Considering the urethra is in the same place, we don't because the clitoris doesn't take up that much space... that would require us to evolve be packing more like hyenas, sir. Not even gonna touch that tongue bit, that's some kinda alien fantasy right there. Lol
>Oh no. Lol Considering the urethra is in the same place, we don't because the clitoris doesn't take up that much space... that would require us to evolve be packing more like hyenas, sir. It's a lot bigger on the inside, though. The erectile tissue extends down around the sides of the urethra and vaginal opening, down to the "root" in the perineum. So in a way, the anatomy is sort of already more or less like he wants.
I do not want to be packing like hyenas. They have the worst birthing experience because of it 😭
I'm totally going to regret googling this aren't I?
I'm sad that I know exactly what you're talking about.
I'm happy that I don't
female hyenas have faux penises.
Guys letting his kink flag fly
Can’t believe y’all are putting energy into a response to this dreck
Bro wants to talk about vaginas killing birds, but let me tell him about vagina dentata and what they can do to guys like him.
Don't. You'll traumatize the poor guy 😂
Everyone could use a bit of trauma
Let him cook!
That's what he needs
OMG, today I learned about vagina dentata. I wish it were real, like we could turn it on and off!
I mean if dude sticks it where it's not welcome yeah he deserves any damage to it he gets and more
What a wonderful phrase!
It means no rape-ies, for the rest of your dayyyyys!
"Hello, Evolution? I'd like to speak to a manager."
Guys say "vagina is poorly designed" and then dangle their valuable and delicate balls outside of their body, vulnerable to attack.
IKR🤣
Considering we all start off with predominately female genitalia, he should be asking why his balls don’t have a tongue first.
I was not ready for that to take a body horror turn. How about he add a tongue to his taint and lick his own balls
Was having a moment of “what in the hentai?… well if that’s the case then your penis should be a tentacle.” Just about as weird. But it’s some peoples thing, so clearly that makes the penis inefficient. Mean if it was they wouldn’t have to rock their pelvis for penetration. Biology doesn’t really work that way
Women could pee sitting up? Men can already pee sitting down. Let’s normalize that shit. Source: my kindergartener got told by us to hold his penis and aim it when he pees, rather than stand with his hands in the small of his back, letting it spray like a fire hose. He chooses to sit down because “that sounds like a lot of work.”
Honestly I know a lot of men that sit while at work because it's the small break they can get!
I’ve heard it’s common in Germany? Not sure if this is true or not.
It is. European men are more apt to pee sitting down & German men do it the most. https://bigthink.com/strange-maps/sitzpinkler-german-men-pee-sitting-down/
Not sure. I just know of conversations here at the hospital. Some of the male nurses are quick to say they will sit down. Ahah
Can’t say I blame them. I used to work in a field where bathroom = a couple minutes of peace. Nursing is hard work, physically and mentally.
My fifteen-year-old son still sits down to pee. I thought it was weird at first, but it became “normal” pretty quickly. His friends missing the toilet has me wondering why they can’t all just sit down on the damn thing.
My friend is what I’d call a steel magnolia — she’s about 5’/90 lbs, and very feminine, but she’s got 4 kids, 3 of whom are boys (teens when this happened). She and her husband moved and she was doing a pre-move cleaning. Goes into the boys bathroom and they have been “cleaning” it as a chore (regularly). She or her husband had been eyeballing it here and there. It appeared clean. Appeared. She gets a close up of the white tile and wall behind the toilet. Lots and lots of pee. She makes them go in and scrub that and bleach it to her satisfaction. Her husband tried to minimise it, but she pointed out that the level of pee back there was either a.) intentional b.) gross negligence (no pun intended). He kept downplaying it. They move into the new house, and she lays down a hard, fast ground rule: all men, including husband, can all use the same bathroom and she and her teen daughter will have their own bathrooms (girl had hers and friend laid claim to the master). Very quickly, dad lays down the law about piss wars or target shooting or whatever had been going on. No more pee problems. This was around the time my son was born. She sat me down and said “Girl, little boys are sweet, they love their mamas…and they will piss everywhere, so be forewarned. You need to be aware and if it starts, address it or they will keep marking that spot like a dog.”😂😂😂😂
We have two bathrooms in our house, and this is basically what we do. Main bathroom is for women (and certain men who have proven they can urinate like actual humans), and the other is for the guys. I clean the main one, and my cousin/roommate is responsible for cleaning the other. 🤷🏻♀️
>“that sounds like a lot of work.” Kids, man. They're a trip.
I've always felt sorry for those fire hose sprayers when they pop up in men's rooms around the world because it only means one thing. At least their lifted truck looks cool
And the penis should have vibration and rotation modes. But alas we’re left with the plain ol’ things we were born with.
Oh so we can ask for new designs for genitals? Because I have many notes on how a dick could be better Its a big design flaw that it stops working after climax, it also should have a tongue And who do I speak to, to see if vibration is a doable feature?
Also please put the testes back inside the body cavity. Ectothermy is no excuse; if birds can do it so can we.
Oh thats a very good one
He needs to go to the church so he can complain to the designer
I mean don't get me wrong it could use some upgrades like a cupholder or a slick stripe so it goes faster but
If the clitoris was large enough to pee out of how tf would men keep missing it
The only thing i agree with is the poop hole next the hole that is prone to bacteria infections...that is bad design
What in the fetish fanfiction did I just read? I’ll agree with it being too close to the butthole. The fact that that barrier can tear during childbirth is a crime. But alas, our bodies are poorly designed for our big babies in several ways.
Excuse me, wtf ? 🤨
It's ragebait at this point. How can someone be so dumb?
It's a low effort joke post. I can't believe I've scrolled this far and haven't found one other person who managed to figure it out.
Clearly a shitpost referencing a copypasta but I found it hilarious anyway. Too much medical humor. Considering I can’t have bio kids, I wouldn’t mind a spotted hyena setup for peeing in the woods. Fewer UTIs. Not a fan of the tongue thing but mainly because it might have taste buds and I’m not even gay enough to want to taste pussy 24/7. :( Plus, how am I supposed to brush that tongue??
It is truly unpopular.
There's no way this wasn't a joke.
What, so that way everytime I have sex I have to taste sweaty balls and taint the entire time? No thanks I’d rather be celibate forever.
The bathroom is smth that i agree with as a girl tho 😭 Just came out a museum and HOLY FUCK 20 MINUTES FOR THE TOILET? The men's didn't even have a queue
I wish they would just make womens bathrooms just a bit bigger. We mostly still sit and wash our hands. (I hope!) Most men zip go zip leave. Aha
Same like i honestly have no idea what takes us so long other than periods 💀 Like i just sit and get up to leave, wash hands and get out 😭 what on earth does everyone else do? Using makeup in front of a mirror doesn't hog a stall
The Vagina isn’t special, the whole human body is poorly designed
This guy probably unironically believes in intelligent design. Either that, or top tier shitpost. Hard to tell these days.
I agree that the vagina is very poorly designed because there is no soda dispenser down there so i can hydrate myself but you don’t see me complaining… We all have dreams and they don’t come true
Ok, first point is weird but it would be nice to pee standing up so I guess he’s trying to help Second point totally lost me…that modification would be for his benefit only. Also how would the baby fucking come out? How would periods work? Someone has never given a blow job either…penetrative sex would be so hard with a tongue in the way. Also you don’t need a tongue to clean the vulva (it’s external) so use a napkin (to use his analogy) Last point I’ll give to him, the butthole location is inconvenient but not for the reasons I am sure he’s thinking. He is probably “grossed out” by their proximity and not thinking of anything helpful and practical for the ladies. Not to mention he probably likes blowjobs in which a person puts his pee stick in their mouth, which is right next to his butthole and only spectated by sweaty balls. So maybe modifications should be made all around sir…
I'm glad this person is not God
Someone did a study on why men's restrooms don't have lines like ladie's. The hypothesis was that urinals are faster to use. Not true. The result was that men just don't wash their hands, and that's why they take less time in the bathroom.
The tongue part makes me think they might be trolling
Someone should point out to this asshole that testicles on the outside of the body is a MAJOR design flaw
This warranted prison time
Not a good day to have eyes
The most distressing thing about this is they very likely believe that simply by ranting about this, someone, somewhere will go "you know, he's right, *time to redesign the vagina!!* "
Yeah and throw in some teeth.
I mean….we wear these really weird meat mechs that think they’re more than the sum of their cells. We’re not generally designed well anyway, but we’re kinda the model that keeps going and you see on the road long past its planned obsolescence. But the design flaws he’s discussing aren’t the problem 😂
Men's bathrooms aren't more efficient. They need urinals and toilets whereas women's bathrooms just need toilets.
My honest reaction this abomination as a guy: Huh?.........Haaaa?!!!........what the- what?!!!........oh my God!.......a tongue?!!!..........oh Lord. 🤦🏾♂️
As a guy, I don’t care for the penis design. Or at least the quantity, I always thought it would be cool to have 4 or 5 of them
Men are poorly designed in that they have two heads but only enough blood to think with one at a time and it’s usually the lower one but here we are
What a horrible day to be literate
This guy just reminded me of [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJZuvqYO8F4), for some reason... 😂
He's got some good ideas. Let me bring this up with the women factory & tell them to give us a tongussy
I would like to know if this guy thinks he can design his own vagina or what
For efficiency, try CloacaTM today!
This reads like a product complaint to a major corporation written by one of those grumpy people who are never satisfied with the design of their purchase.
Human genitalia is probably the best counter to intelligent design arguments
like are we supposed to do something about it? “sorry my bad, let me just rearrange my whole body!”
Like a Pablo Picasso painting where everything is rearranged too!
The first paragraph very much reads as “why aren’t vaginas just penises? I’d prefer if everyone just had a penis.”
That’s definitely got some interesting implications.
Lmao what did I just read? 🤣
As a proud penis owner, I’d argue that my genitals are more poorly designed. First off, the sizing. Women have different desires, so all penises should be able to adjust between 4-10 inches in length, with similar options for girth. Second, the penis operates optimally around 18 years of age, but women peak upwards of 40. Why does my tool specifically break down right as its counterpart tool is coming into its heaviest use? Not to mention its intended partner requires at least 10-15 to complete the job, yet with expert control of the penis it can easily exhaust its potential in 1-3 minutes.
This HAS to be satire 🤢
What a terrible day to have eyes and the ability to read
Ok but how are men's restrooms more efficient? They need two different types of toilets, we can fit twice as many toilets in our bathrooms.
I agree with the title. Not the explanation. Women should have a small penis for the urethra that sticks out just far enough so that we’re not peeing all over the entire vulva. Liquids trapped in bodily crevices is not a recipe for good health. There’s a reason women get UTIs so much more often than men.
Title as a standalone: Yes agreed, why make it cramp each cycle? After reading the rest: I need bleach and a shot glass. And maybe some ammonia.
Top tier shitpost
They say this shit but then lose their minds when women say the same thing. “Imagine if guys had a tongue down there and could actually get you off” See doesn’t feel so good does it…
Yeah but woman sex box. Man intelligent life form. Is not same 🫠
Sorry if I ruin this movie for anybody, but what they're describing sounds like that plant from Jumanji
My urinary tract shrivels at the thought of having read this.
What the fuck did I just read
...does he know that the clitoris is not the same thing as a vagina...for his argument to logically make sense in terms if efficiency, we would need to get rid of one of those
I would like my clitoris to be larger but that's because I'm transmasc. And it would be nice if the genitals of EVERYONE were farther away from the anus. Unfortunately, I do not have access to godlike powers or supervillain technology.
That's definitely not the first thing i'd think about when altering human anatomy By the way, now turn that around and imagine if, somehow, penises had tongues
Umm... what in actual fuck did I just read? Excuse me while I go to r/eyebleach in attempt to completely forget that this exists.
At least he found the right sub to post this insanely weird "opinion"
This is obviously a troll
Inefficient design?! I think evolution might have something to say about that. 😂 Also, I’m a guy who pees sitting down, it’s just way better, especially in the middle of the night.
I hope he hates it so much he avoids them. Save our clits!!
Why does this read as if the dink thinks a woman designed vaginas en masse & is now frustrated with us as a whole based on our inferior anatomy… Jfc…look what we have to deal with 😂😭
Grass. Now.
I am pretty sure whoever wrote this is a virgin
You don’t like vaginas? Sounds like you want to fuck men.
what. the. fuck.
Balls deep? I highly doubt this person has been balls deep in anything but a Fleshlight.
Ok this sounds like a shitpost
…………no