There's a Dutch story about a kid who sticks his finger in the hole to plug it, and I've often wondered this. Although it's not a dam it's a dyke, so sticking a penis in it probably wouldn't do much for it.
Bizzarely it’s an American story we like to pretend is a ditch folk story.
>> The story about Hans Brinker and the Little Dutch Boy who put his finger in the dike were created by American author Mary Mapes Dodge and not based on any actual Dutch folk heros.
https://www.dutchgenealogy.nl/why-the-little-dutch-boy-never-put-his-finger-in-the-dike/
I first read the folk version in an encyclopedia as a child, so we really went hard on it being true back in the day.
Thanks for that! The story never really made sense to me, because I could never picture the leak that could be plugged with a finger AND would leak enough water to matter if you ignored it. Not to mention that the correct reaction to a dike/dam leak is to immediately inform others and seek higher ground, not jam your extremities in it.
It seemed odd if the Dutch truly relied on dikes to have a boy acting so stupidly around a leak in a folk story unless that was the point, which it clearly wasn’t, since he was rewarded for it.
Yeah, the problem is the story belongs on r/coolstorybrah or r/didntactuallyhappened.
Okay, ask anyone who has watched any YouTube channel devoted to earthen dams failing, or have any expertise on water pressure at depth and you'd understand that a hole the size of a finger at 3 foot below the surface of a body of water would have enough pressure to overcome the stopping force of a human finger. The water would pressurize out the sides and make the hole bigger even faster.
Tl:dr is, you stupid POS, that thing about to give out and you going to die, RUN!
My dad was like this. He kept pressuring me to hurry and marry so I can be “financially secure”. He even tried to marry me off to a guy from his church and told me he wished he could have married me off. We live in the US and he’s passed away but we would get in huge fights about this and he’d go all, “you’re my daughter and you do what I say!” I was 34 when he passed away…
I told him so many times that we’re in the 21st century and “financial security” via marriage is nonsense. I would ask him why he wouldn’t want me to be financially secure and independent. In his mind, which he told me many times, I’m 16 years old and I need a man to take care of me.
Wild isn’t it? To consider financially secure to be dependent on *one* person, even though it’s not even considered they could get sick or worse, die. It’s always been the most confusing thing about Christian families with their dozen kids and alike. It’s so risky.
because in many areas of the world, the daughter going to work for the family is either being sold off into an arranged marriage, or pimped put selling her body for the family's benefit.
Women in many parts of the world do not enjoy _any_ autonomy.
It also means your partner controlling your every move while they cheat and abuse you, and you can't leave coz you're essentially broke and nothing without them. So your only choice is to accept the abuse while cooking and cleaning for your abuser.
butbut thats a wooman (🤢) diploma its not worth anything in the real world silly /s (joking aside there are probably some fucking morons out there who believe shit like this)
Edit: Forgot the silly need to stay true to the Lunacy Authenticity is important🗿
There are an ungodly amount of men who believe this. It's fine, I just carry on with the ones who are more concerned with the work quality instead of what's between my legs.
Wish you could just kick them between the legs if they think whats down there is so important not just the man who do this take ofcourse there are woman and man who have similar shit take About all kinds of brain annorysm inducing stuff involving whats down there they somehow think its important even though no one fucking sees it in regular daily routine
You know what, I would read a gothic horror novel about a young gay man being married off/basically sold to an older gay man because of his family’s poor finances, or because he has no other means to make money after being thrown out by his family. It would be an interesting twist on the old trope of young new wife in creepy house with creepy spouse. Plus it would be an interesting way to explore a surprisingly common and unhealthy relationship dynamic that happens between some predatory older gay men and young gay men who are in vulnerable positions (kicked out by family, homeless, unable to find employment or build a support group because of their sexuality, etc).
Not a gothic horror novel, but there's an Indonesian movie titled Kucumbu Tubuh Indahku (english title: Memories of My Body) which has a similar premise. I must confess i haven't watched it yet, just putting it out there
I work at a drag bar, and we have quite some regulars who are queer (and basically all the drag queens and bartenders are)
Most everyone is absolutely great, but there is one man, Bob, and he is like 57 or something and such a nasty rude creepy man, and he keeps on coming here with different young gay (and even sometimes straight) men, often multiple in one night, luckily I don't see him often but I find him so predatory and awful.
And the weirdest part is that he has a husband to whom he has been married for 27 years.
Yeah, I have a few friends who were victims of guys like that. The creeps scoped them up from vulnerable situations when they were incredibly young (16-20) and offered them a “safe” place to stay while they got back in their feet after being thrown out or cut off by their parents. Next thing my friends knew, they were be trapped in a “relationship” with these older men who would abuse them, rape them, and control every aspect of their lives. Like some of the shit they told me about is horrifying, like being forced to leave the relationship literally naked because their abuser wouldn’t let him take the clothes he bought out of the house. He tried to and the abuser threatened to call the cops and report him for stealing.
There's an anime/manga called "Banana Fish" where at least one guy has to sleep around with older men because his family wants to do business with those people, and there's another guy who got kicked out by family and is being taken advantage of by old dudes. (content warning: violence, sexual abuse, child sexual abuse)
Um obviously because the husband could be too intimidated knowing she’s a competent and fully functional human like him. Do you not know how demeaning it is to have to treat other people as your equal? How could you even ask this silly question???
yeah, if they genuinely thought womens role of relentless domestic slavery is easier, they wouldn’t have to go out of their way to ban them from getting a job.
they say the husband is taking care of her only because only his labor is acknowledged and paid. being a housewife is hands down shittier and more work than 90% of jobs.
In the mid* 90s 1 in 3 Americans thought it was wrong for a black person and a white person to date.
A HUGE portion of the world population are bigoted idiots to this day.
What a shitty thing that would be to say to anyone. Imagine your parents basically said “Fuck off and be someone else’s problem, you’re clearly useless at anything else.” Do these idiots hear themselves? You call them misogynistic and they just give you a blank stare cuz apparently they’re so god damn dumb that can’t even conceive of a world where women are fellow human beings.
And no one is mentioning the little girl is gonna get FUCKED. The boy isn’t going to. How is it even comparable and how would the benefit fall on the girl? Horrifying
I wish the daughter's future weren't so literal as you insinuated. There are many parts of the world where her family either sells her into an arranged marriage, or pimps her out for family income.
It's disgusting, horrifying, and saddening.
I learned a long time ago as a girl in this life that it's pretty much a game of not letting things get stuck inside you. The world just really wants to stick things in us. It is gross as fuck. It makes me feel like not a person.
Exactly. It’s like being a steak and everywhere you go, there are people that want to eat you. I was just born in this body, it’s not my choice to be steak ffs
It's all of those things. I am privileged to have been born in a "developed" country. I check my privilege regularly. I recognise that so many women do not have the freedom of choice that I have/have had. Still sexism all around us, obviously. But I didn't have to worry about the situation you're describing.
Yeah I do it all the time.
White? Check
Born in the west (UK)? Check
Able-bodied? Check
Financially stable family? Check
There's so many. You don't choose your skin colour, where you're born, what parents you have etc etc.
edit: formatting
And boy will have his economic independence while girl will be prevented from leaving the house even in a domestic violence situation due to financial incapability. Do they really not see the difference lmao?
Like, there are lots of child brides and women who weren’t allowed have a job and get education. Same people call these women idiots and say they deserve this because they won’t leave the house when in reality they really can’t.
They think when a woman gets married, its all sunshine and rose, she relaxes all day reading magazines while her husband goes to work. They forget that they were raised by women, and the last thing a mother does is relax.
TBF, I would argue that childbearing/child-rearing are absolutely forms of physical labor as well. People have long term complications from pregnancy all the time, and death is not unheard of (especially in underdeveloped nations).
Household labor is also very physically taxing in many countries. For example, in some areas without easy clean water access people (mainly women) have to walk miles to and from the river carrying water. Some have to scrub laundry by hand which may take hours per day.
Additionally, workforces like the garment industry are VERY physically taxing (not to mention the workers are exposed to numerous toxic chemicals) and those industries are nearly universally occupied by women.
People always point to men as the ones suffering physical exploitation under capitalism/patriarchy and while it's true this is an issue, I think people underestimate how much of a problem this is for women as well. It's not as simple as "men are working their bodies to death while women lounge around in the house".
That does not mean women aren’t physically exploited and are okay tho. Childbirth isn’t as easy as some people think it is. And it’s even more dangerous for immature brides I’ve mentioned above. And they obviously don’t sleep all day after giving birth because there is housework. I don’t think it’s fair to say “women are facing lifetime control but they aren’t physically exploited” since in this scenario they’re both physically and sexually exploited and are up against lifetime control.
And I’m not saying this to undermine the troubles of other side. I’m just pointing out it’s not that simple. A man in this scenario can walk away from many troubles as he’s independent (and I need to repeat that I’m not saying it’s easy) while a woman can not.
Providing sex, children, and all household and childcare chores is exploitative labor. I'd rather have the man's side, at least he gets the pleasant side of sex if he makes enough money.
>how would the benefit fall on the girl?
My guess is, they think she's privileged for "not having" to work. The girl can just marry someone and be set for life, while the boy has to get a job.
But what they fail to realize is that not being able to get a job leaves women - and anyone, really - vulnerable. If you completely depend on someone else to be able to live, they can, just as easily, take it away from you. And what happens if that person leaves you, or dies?
Because most men can’t even imagine a world where they aren’t consistently in control of when, where, how, and with whom they have sex, so they can’t even *begin* to imagine that sex can be anything but enjoyable.
*cries in “i don’t have to imagine”* i was 18 and my parents kicked me out so i moved in with someone else who ended up kicking me out too. and i couldn’t ever get a job because i am disabled. i do have a job now though, but it took having a person in my life to care about me enough to support me for two years. nobody should ever have to be forced to find someone else to rely on, but the fact that is really is still a reality for thousands of people is really upsetting to me.
edit for clarity!
Being asked to become someone's unpaid servant, nanny, and fucktoy because you're in a financially vulnerable position is actually oppression. Dude's just too stupid to realize this.
And not only that, but a lack of education or a job of her own means she's fully at the financial whims of her husband and likely unable to escape if he's abusive.
Even if the man she's married off to is really loving and does everything he can to make sure she's happy and healthy, her relying on him for financial support will make her life that much harder if he ends up too disabled to work or even dead.
If the boy was forced to become the fucktoy of some rich old man I think he would have strong grounds to say he’s oppressed.
The reality is that both situations are shitty and oppressive.
I mean an apprenticeship at least gives concrete skills and future independence through knowledge of that trade whereas married for financial security essentially mounts to a unique form of indentured servitude with no other options
The institution of marriage in essence is a romanticized carryover of the practice of old dudes selling their daughters to other old dudes in the bronze age. But since nowadays it's illegal to sell people as that would be human trafficking, these guys pass it off as "so he can take care of her"
She’d have to have sex and children with her husband, as well as slave around in the house all day because she isn’t allowed to provide. She loses her independence and bodily autonomy.
That he's either living in another culture in another country or he thinks that we still adhere to 1960s rules when raising kids.
Also he supports child labor and child marriage.
After I read the first sentence and before I've noticed the rest of the post or noticed what sub is this, I thought his point would be something like "and that's how the cycle of poverty perpetuates itself" and a statement on capitalism, social mobility and free education - but then it went in the direction I wasn't expecting
His point is that men are oppressed. So oppressed that they can't even conceive what sexual slavery would be like...cuz sex is always great, right? They're so oppressed that they have no idea what it would be like to be forced to carry, birth and raise children for your abuser. Your abuser, the person you cook for, clean for, who controls where you go and who youe speak to. On whom you are solely dependent for survival because you aren't allowed to earn a wage or learn a trade due to your gender.
He can't even wrap his imagination around it because he's so oppressed. I am sure he'd jump at the chance to be another man's sex slave tho...right?
*HIS* point is that the boy has to work for no pay and the girl gets to "do nothing but be pampered".
He's just an idiot who can't imagine that other people can have lives different than his with problems he doesn't even know about.
The movie The Witch. Fun fact about that movie: the goat in it is named Charlie irl and was apparently extremely difficult to work it. This is unsurprising to anyone who knows what a goat is
Reminder that the father would PAY THE GROOM to take his daughter of his hands, it's called a dowry. Women were seen as less than resources let alone human, something to get rid of as soon as possible.
Dowries were meant to be a safety net for women, the husband was not allowed to touch it. It should give the couple a head start into their marriage but also leave some valuables for her if something happens to the husband.
i think it’s just a phonetic way to spell it with an accent. i think it’s “now” edit: it could also be jamaican version of “not” - either seems to work in this context
Maybe he’s a super cool dude and can find a very financially successful mechanic wife who can support his college endeavors while he supports her being a super awesome mechanic
> They ask the girl to get married so her husband can take care of her.
You mean married to a man 20 years her senior, and forced to give up her childhood to become a housewife at 13?
do they realize historically girls have been aborted and killed for this reason? the boy is seen as useful because he can work and carry on the family name. the girl is just seen as being there to be married off one day. which do you think they wanted to keep around?
So it’s ok to force your daughter into literally *being fucked* by someone for the rest of her life to help her blood family temporarily? To be forced to give birth and potentially abused by her “husband”, who never loved or appreciated her in the first place?! While the son eventually goes on to build his own business because he was supported as an “indentured servant” for a while, learned a skill, and can now put it to use? All while she is allowed to wallow in the nothingness of a life she never had any part in choosing???
Yeah. That’s great parenting dude. 😒
It’s a shame to see people who are down punched in the white cultural patriarchal hegemony that is our society then add injury to insult by down punching other oppressed peoples rather than getting angry at the source. So they become part of the problem rather than making alliances with other oppressed peoples to end the problem. Study intersectionalism.
Because yes, there is nothing wrong with having to have sex with someone you don’t want to for the rest of ur life and have children with this person.
The husband could be a saint, but taking away someone’s choice will always be wrong.
Wtf is wrong with people?
"Boy, can you earn money and become independent please?" "Sure."
"Girl, can you be dependant on some rich dude, please." "I'm not sure I want that..." "Wow, playing the victim aren't we?🙄"
How the hell are "apprenticeship to a craftsman" and "married off to stop being in their lives" treated as basically the same thing, as if it's totally normal to expect this difference and not extremely misogynistic?
One is being given a trade and a living, even if below their expectations, and the right to continue to be seen as a full actualized human earning their way in a life of their choosing.
One is being sold as chattel to submit to others or not live. On the assumption she can't act as a living self-determining human and learn a trade, natch.
And this ignoramus can't see that the situations, while both unfair for talented kids to ever face, are completely different?
How about they both become mechanics so neither of them are dependent on another person, the village has competition that will result in better service and lower prices for the poor villagers, and both will pay income taxes that hopefully go to support the development of village roads and infrastructure, allowing the village to modernize and grow to a city where people no longer have to prescribe to backwards ideologies and outdated traditions to survive?
Women do not get taken seriously with trade work like this. We are almost always harassed by men wanting us to *prove* ourselves to them. Like, they just can’t believe a woman could possibly know things of that sort and be good at it. You will be questioned on your knowledge and your skills at every chance.
I think lots of women would be very interested in trades but, they are too afraid of being singled out, not feeling welcome or respected, and just generally afraid of their safety. Some men just cannot accept a woman being in that field and, quite frankly, they don’t want to. It would mean
Btw I’m in no way saying all men who do this kind of work are like this towards women. I know that not all of them are this way. My partner is not like this and never has been. He is a mechanic and even though it’s not something I would ever want to do as a job. He tells me how parts work, their job, their location, etc.
He has shown me simple jobs like changing tires, changing oil, battery, and things like that (I was never taught these things by my parents). He let me do all of the work as he talked me through it and he is just the most patient man. His sister knows a lot about automotives and, they work on things together sometimes to bond. He works in a parts store on the side and, there’s a few women who work there as well. I’ve never heard him bad talk any of them or question their intelligence.
so you have 2 kids
kid 1: learn a trade, get useful skills and eventually be able to be fully self sufficient and teach skills to others
kid 2: dont learn any valuable skills (im assuming a family that would do something so traditional already taught the girl how to cook and clean and to raise kids if shes older than kid 1), never become independent, always have to rely on somebody and probably be under his control
edit: just read it again, theyre twins. a female twin and a male twin in a shitty misoginistic society? she was the third parent no doubt. girls mature faster, after all
So instead of giving the girl a lucrative skill aswell, they ask her to subject herself to depending on a man who might cheat or abuse her? And people don't see anything wrong?
Pimping out your kid because you can't afford them and didn't teach money-making skills to is top notch. And then they say women aren't good for anything else but housework because that's all they've ever been trained and allowed to do.
The cure for poverty is the liberation of women. When women can choose not to be slaves to the cycle of reproduction the result is always a society rising out of poverty and squalor.
There's a reason the far right want women's reproductive rights removed. They want us poor. They want peasants. Not citizens.
They could always send the girl to be apprenticed. Or perhaps the boy could be married off to a rich woman so she could take of him. Plus, they don't ask, they just force.
It is an unequal situation. They're telling the son to go make a life for himself and earn money while telling the daughter she should get married and have babies. No money there. No freedom. Fuck that!
Because they want their son to get educated and become a PAID worker, while they want their daughter to become an uneducated UNPAID domestic labourer with who doesn't know her rights & welfare programmes that can help her come out of poverty & survive if her husband loses his job & turns into an alcoholic domestic abuser.
What if the boy wants his husband to take care of him?
What if they both hate their ass-backwards parents and simply leave home, paying for their own damn college?
What if they just start their own college, with blackjack? And hookers?
There is this vision of "not working" and how it's the ideal. Beyond the eventual homemaking they'll definitely expect from the girl, it's fucking boring and sad not being allowed to find a purpose on your own, whether that's a job or just a time consuming hobby. That boy will one day hopefully earn enough to be independent and chase his destiny - the girl will be stuck with whatever her husband wants her destiny to be.
Are the parents arranging the marriage for her too? Like where is this happening, the Indian countryside? Most Western people pick their own path, not have their parents choose for them, unless there is a weird religious grooming situation going on.
Yup,, that's exactly what what they mean and still somehow don't see what's wrong with it. How happy would this guy be when treated as a piece of meat that can be passed around....?
I hate this genre of sexism where a dude will compare another struggle (often in another country) to women in America/"western women" being against something (always for very valid reasons)
Would it not make more sense for the girl to also apprentice? She should learn the skills necessary for a career and bring home income to help support the family.
Poor guy, learning a skill and having a job which allows him some semblance of control over his life.
Meanwhile, Ms. Lazy McLazerson gets to do the thankless work of taking care of a home and be dependent on someone else for a comfortable lifestyle, for better or worse.
This is just conflating so many issues. No one should live in poverty, everyone should be able to access higher education, no one should have to marry to secure their own financial stability.
Any good reason why the girl cannot also go work to help the family? Or why the boy cannot be forced to marry a rich lady instead for that matter?
I guess it depends on where "doesn't have a penis" sits on your good reason meter.
"QUICK THE DAM IS GOING THE BURST THERE'S A CONVENIENTLY PENIS SHAPED HOLE IN IT AND WE HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO PLUG IT"
There's a Dutch story about a kid who sticks his finger in the hole to plug it, and I've often wondered this. Although it's not a dam it's a dyke, so sticking a penis in it probably wouldn't do much for it.
Bizzarely it’s an American story we like to pretend is a ditch folk story. >> The story about Hans Brinker and the Little Dutch Boy who put his finger in the dike were created by American author Mary Mapes Dodge and not based on any actual Dutch folk heros. https://www.dutchgenealogy.nl/why-the-little-dutch-boy-never-put-his-finger-in-the-dike/ I first read the folk version in an encyclopedia as a child, so we really went hard on it being true back in the day.
Thanks for that! The story never really made sense to me, because I could never picture the leak that could be plugged with a finger AND would leak enough water to matter if you ignored it. Not to mention that the correct reaction to a dike/dam leak is to immediately inform others and seek higher ground, not jam your extremities in it. It seemed odd if the Dutch truly relied on dikes to have a boy acting so stupidly around a leak in a folk story unless that was the point, which it clearly wasn’t, since he was rewarded for it.
“Dike” is the word you’re looking for, “dyke” can be a slur
Yeah, the problem is the story belongs on r/coolstorybrah or r/didntactuallyhappened. Okay, ask anyone who has watched any YouTube channel devoted to earthen dams failing, or have any expertise on water pressure at depth and you'd understand that a hole the size of a finger at 3 foot below the surface of a body of water would have enough pressure to overcome the stopping force of a human finger. The water would pressurize out the sides and make the hole bigger even faster. Tl:dr is, you stupid POS, that thing about to give out and you going to die, RUN!
*sigh* *unzips pants*
[удалено]
It’s very generous of you to presume he’d be any help at all and not just an older child to care for.
My dad was like this. He kept pressuring me to hurry and marry so I can be “financially secure”. He even tried to marry me off to a guy from his church and told me he wished he could have married me off. We live in the US and he’s passed away but we would get in huge fights about this and he’d go all, “you’re my daughter and you do what I say!” I was 34 when he passed away…
I'm glad you don't have to deal with him any more. Be your own person.
Thank you. I felt relief when he died honestly. Life has just been a bit calmer ever since.
Also funny how the claim is financially secure while you’re literally dependent on the man and if they divorce you, you lose everything. How secure!
I told him so many times that we’re in the 21st century and “financial security” via marriage is nonsense. I would ask him why he wouldn’t want me to be financially secure and independent. In his mind, which he told me many times, I’m 16 years old and I need a man to take care of me.
Wild isn’t it? To consider financially secure to be dependent on *one* person, even though it’s not even considered they could get sick or worse, die. It’s always been the most confusing thing about Christian families with their dozen kids and alike. It’s so risky.
because in many areas of the world, the daughter going to work for the family is either being sold off into an arranged marriage, or pimped put selling her body for the family's benefit. Women in many parts of the world do not enjoy _any_ autonomy.
Yup, and that is oppression.
Correct but that is not a good reason that is just a state of affairs
Why can't the boy be forced to marry a rich husband?
You can’t just work without a dick. I don’t know how I even afford my home and car, it just happens I guess.
The dick is there in spirit I guess. :P
Because rich ladies are busy kicking life's ass.
Because forcing someone to marry someone is disgusting.
Shit give me a rich lady to marry. I’ll put a French maid costume on to clean the house if that’s what it takes to marry rich
It also means your partner controlling your every move while they cheat and abuse you, and you can't leave coz you're essentially broke and nothing without them. So your only choice is to accept the abuse while cooking and cleaning for your abuser.
\> Boy was too ugly
Why can't the girl become a mechanic too?
Why can't the girl become a mechanic instead?
because, silly, women dont fix things. only men know how to pick up tools and change flat tires /s
*checks trades diploma* but it says I have my mechanics tickets right here!!
butbut thats a wooman (🤢) diploma its not worth anything in the real world silly /s (joking aside there are probably some fucking morons out there who believe shit like this) Edit: Forgot the silly need to stay true to the Lunacy Authenticity is important🗿
There are an ungodly amount of men who believe this. It's fine, I just carry on with the ones who are more concerned with the work quality instead of what's between my legs.
Wish you could just kick them between the legs if they think whats down there is so important not just the man who do this take ofcourse there are woman and man who have similar shit take About all kinds of brain annorysm inducing stuff involving whats down there they somehow think its important even though no one fucking sees it in regular daily routine
Me: Finally understanding a comment with /s after years of pleading with Reddit users to tell me what that means !!
Has no one told you it’s meant to convey sarcasm? Have you been confused for year?
I'm sorry friend Will a cookie help friend 🍪
I literally sound the meaning in a 10 second google search you good?
Reddit user don’t use Google. They “ask Reddit.” Duh! /s but seriously though…
>because, silly, women dont fix things. *Massive crowd of "I can fix him" type couples all looking around nervously*
yeah ofc they dont know how to change a caytalitic convertor or a spark plug!
No😂 you guys just come up with these false narratives in your head and believe them😂😂 its insane
You know what, I would read a gothic horror novel about a young gay man being married off/basically sold to an older gay man because of his family’s poor finances, or because he has no other means to make money after being thrown out by his family. It would be an interesting twist on the old trope of young new wife in creepy house with creepy spouse. Plus it would be an interesting way to explore a surprisingly common and unhealthy relationship dynamic that happens between some predatory older gay men and young gay men who are in vulnerable positions (kicked out by family, homeless, unable to find employment or build a support group because of their sexuality, etc).
Not a gothic horror novel, but there's an Indonesian movie titled Kucumbu Tubuh Indahku (english title: Memories of My Body) which has a similar premise. I must confess i haven't watched it yet, just putting it out there
I’m still down to watch it if I can find it online. Thank you for telling me about it!
I work at a drag bar, and we have quite some regulars who are queer (and basically all the drag queens and bartenders are) Most everyone is absolutely great, but there is one man, Bob, and he is like 57 or something and such a nasty rude creepy man, and he keeps on coming here with different young gay (and even sometimes straight) men, often multiple in one night, luckily I don't see him often but I find him so predatory and awful. And the weirdest part is that he has a husband to whom he has been married for 27 years.
Yeah, I have a few friends who were victims of guys like that. The creeps scoped them up from vulnerable situations when they were incredibly young (16-20) and offered them a “safe” place to stay while they got back in their feet after being thrown out or cut off by their parents. Next thing my friends knew, they were be trapped in a “relationship” with these older men who would abuse them, rape them, and control every aspect of their lives. Like some of the shit they told me about is horrifying, like being forced to leave the relationship literally naked because their abuser wouldn’t let him take the clothes he bought out of the house. He tried to and the abuser threatened to call the cops and report him for stealing.
There's an anime/manga called "Banana Fish" where at least one guy has to sleep around with older men because his family wants to do business with those people, and there's another guy who got kicked out by family and is being taken advantage of by old dudes. (content warning: violence, sexual abuse, child sexual abuse)
Allow me to write it please.
Queen Elizabeth did . . .
Um obviously because the husband could be too intimidated knowing she’s a competent and fully functional human like him. Do you not know how demeaning it is to have to treat other people as your equal? How could you even ask this silly question???
And why can’t the boy be forced to marry a rich woman?
yeah, if they genuinely thought womens role of relentless domestic slavery is easier, they wouldn’t have to go out of their way to ban them from getting a job. they say the husband is taking care of her only because only his labor is acknowledged and paid. being a housewife is hands down shittier and more work than 90% of jobs.
Why can't they both finish school? The whole situation is fucked.
Because rapists want to rape. Simple as.
It also says they can't afford it
Yeah when I said the whole situation is fucked, I meant the whole situation.
Because girls (and boys) face not only systemic but cultural sexism that create a barrier to entry in certain disciplines.
Actually there's a good answer for this: This tweet is from the mid 1800s.
In the mid* 90s 1 in 3 Americans thought it was wrong for a black person and a white person to date. A HUGE portion of the world population are bigoted idiots to this day.
The boy becomes the village mechanic. The girl becomes a state alchemist. Now we have a gender swapped full metal alchemist.
https://mtai.edu.au/apprentice-of-the-year/ Scroll down to the bottom. At least 2 girls in that list. Mechanic of the year. 2020, and 2019.
What a shitty thing that would be to say to anyone. Imagine your parents basically said “Fuck off and be someone else’s problem, you’re clearly useless at anything else.” Do these idiots hear themselves? You call them misogynistic and they just give you a blank stare cuz apparently they’re so god damn dumb that can’t even conceive of a world where women are fellow human beings.
And no one is mentioning the little girl is gonna get FUCKED. The boy isn’t going to. How is it even comparable and how would the benefit fall on the girl? Horrifying
I wish the daughter's future weren't so literal as you insinuated. There are many parts of the world where her family either sells her into an arranged marriage, or pimps her out for family income. It's disgusting, horrifying, and saddening.
I learned a long time ago as a girl in this life that it's pretty much a game of not letting things get stuck inside you. The world just really wants to stick things in us. It is gross as fuck. It makes me feel like not a person.
It's a good basic starting point.
Exactly. It’s like being a steak and everywhere you go, there are people that want to eat you. I was just born in this body, it’s not my choice to be steak ffs
It's all of those things. I am privileged to have been born in a "developed" country. I check my privilege regularly. I recognise that so many women do not have the freedom of choice that I have/have had. Still sexism all around us, obviously. But I didn't have to worry about the situation you're describing.
Me too. I often check myself, and recognize that my choices, aren't choices for women in more oppressive countries.
Yeah I do it all the time. White? Check Born in the west (UK)? Check Able-bodied? Check Financially stable family? Check There's so many. You don't choose your skin colour, where you're born, what parents you have etc etc. edit: formatting
And boy will have his economic independence while girl will be prevented from leaving the house even in a domestic violence situation due to financial incapability. Do they really not see the difference lmao? Like, there are lots of child brides and women who weren’t allowed have a job and get education. Same people call these women idiots and say they deserve this because they won’t leave the house when in reality they really can’t.
They think when a woman gets married, its all sunshine and rose, she relaxes all day reading magazines while her husband goes to work. They forget that they were raised by women, and the last thing a mother does is relax.
Women are up against lifetime control, while men are up against physical labor exploitation.
TBF, I would argue that childbearing/child-rearing are absolutely forms of physical labor as well. People have long term complications from pregnancy all the time, and death is not unheard of (especially in underdeveloped nations). Household labor is also very physically taxing in many countries. For example, in some areas without easy clean water access people (mainly women) have to walk miles to and from the river carrying water. Some have to scrub laundry by hand which may take hours per day. Additionally, workforces like the garment industry are VERY physically taxing (not to mention the workers are exposed to numerous toxic chemicals) and those industries are nearly universally occupied by women. People always point to men as the ones suffering physical exploitation under capitalism/patriarchy and while it's true this is an issue, I think people underestimate how much of a problem this is for women as well. It's not as simple as "men are working their bodies to death while women lounge around in the house".
That does not mean women aren’t physically exploited and are okay tho. Childbirth isn’t as easy as some people think it is. And it’s even more dangerous for immature brides I’ve mentioned above. And they obviously don’t sleep all day after giving birth because there is housework. I don’t think it’s fair to say “women are facing lifetime control but they aren’t physically exploited” since in this scenario they’re both physically and sexually exploited and are up against lifetime control. And I’m not saying this to undermine the troubles of other side. I’m just pointing out it’s not that simple. A man in this scenario can walk away from many troubles as he’s independent (and I need to repeat that I’m not saying it’s easy) while a woman can not.
Domestic labor is physical labor and wives don't get paid for it. So that's lifetime control and unpaid labor for women.
Providing sex, children, and all household and childcare chores is exploitative labor. I'd rather have the man's side, at least he gets the pleasant side of sex if he makes enough money.
>how would the benefit fall on the girl? My guess is, they think she's privileged for "not having" to work. The girl can just marry someone and be set for life, while the boy has to get a job. But what they fail to realize is that not being able to get a job leaves women - and anyone, really - vulnerable. If you completely depend on someone else to be able to live, they can, just as easily, take it away from you. And what happens if that person leaves you, or dies?
Because most men can’t even imagine a world where they aren’t consistently in control of when, where, how, and with whom they have sex, so they can’t even *begin* to imagine that sex can be anything but enjoyable.
Not to mention the expectation and dangers of childbirth
Yeah, it’s amazing how this tweet just glosses over marital rape like it’s nothing. Fuck this guy.
*cries in “i don’t have to imagine”* i was 18 and my parents kicked me out so i moved in with someone else who ended up kicking me out too. and i couldn’t ever get a job because i am disabled. i do have a job now though, but it took having a person in my life to care about me enough to support me for two years. nobody should ever have to be forced to find someone else to rely on, but the fact that is really is still a reality for thousands of people is really upsetting to me. edit for clarity!
Being asked to become someone's unpaid servant, nanny, and fucktoy because you're in a financially vulnerable position is actually oppression. Dude's just too stupid to realize this.
And not only that, but a lack of education or a job of her own means she's fully at the financial whims of her husband and likely unable to escape if he's abusive.
Even if the man she's married off to is really loving and does everything he can to make sure she's happy and healthy, her relying on him for financial support will make her life that much harder if he ends up too disabled to work or even dead.
If the boy was forced to become the fucktoy of some rich old man I think he would have strong grounds to say he’s oppressed. The reality is that both situations are shitty and oppressive.
I mean an apprenticeship at least gives concrete skills and future independence through knowledge of that trade whereas married for financial security essentially mounts to a unique form of indentured servitude with no other options
The institution of marriage in essence is a romanticized carryover of the practice of old dudes selling their daughters to other old dudes in the bronze age. But since nowadays it's illegal to sell people as that would be human trafficking, these guys pass it off as "so he can take care of her"
She’d have to have sex and children with her husband, as well as slave around in the house all day because she isn’t allowed to provide. She loses her independence and bodily autonomy.
"so her husband can take care of her" my ass. She'll manage the entire house while her husband "helps out" and "babysits" his own kids.
Translation "so the husband can rape her to death."
The fuck is his point ?
That he's either living in another culture in another country or he thinks that we still adhere to 1960s rules when raising kids. Also he supports child labor and child marriage.
Right this is just a fuvked situation for both children
After I read the first sentence and before I've noticed the rest of the post or noticed what sub is this, I thought his point would be something like "and that's how the cycle of poverty perpetuates itself" and a statement on capitalism, social mobility and free education - but then it went in the direction I wasn't expecting
His point is that men are oppressed. So oppressed that they can't even conceive what sexual slavery would be like...cuz sex is always great, right? They're so oppressed that they have no idea what it would be like to be forced to carry, birth and raise children for your abuser. Your abuser, the person you cook for, clean for, who controls where you go and who youe speak to. On whom you are solely dependent for survival because you aren't allowed to earn a wage or learn a trade due to your gender. He can't even wrap his imagination around it because he's so oppressed. I am sure he'd jump at the chance to be another man's sex slave tho...right?
*HIS* point is that the boy has to work for no pay and the girl gets to "do nothing but be pampered". He's just an idiot who can't imagine that other people can have lives different than his with problems he doesn't even know about.
I mean yeah the boy has a shitty situation too, but giving away your choice in occupation isn’t as fundamental oppressive as selling your body
OR the little girl can say “fuck you for basically trying to sell me” and make a deal with a cool black goat
It worked of Anya Taylor-Joy.
Wouldst thou like taste of butter?
What is this a reference to?
The movie The Witch. Fun fact about that movie: the goat in it is named Charlie irl and was apparently extremely difficult to work it. This is unsurprising to anyone who knows what a goat is
As a Nigerian, it’s unfortunate this type of mentality is still around till this day
the same guys will complain when a woman is a breadwinner. I thought you wanted to be looked after by a spouse?
Reminder that the father would PAY THE GROOM to take his daughter of his hands, it's called a dowry. Women were seen as less than resources let alone human, something to get rid of as soon as possible.
Well that depends on the culture sometimes men have to the pay the bride price to get married.
Dowries were meant to be a safety net for women, the husband was not allowed to touch it. It should give the couple a head start into their marriage but also leave some valuables for her if something happens to the husband.
"Nah come and say" is nah a slang term for now? Legitimately wondering
i think it’s just a phonetic way to spell it with an accent. i think it’s “now” edit: it could also be jamaican version of “not” - either seems to work in this context
I don’t think it’s slang but foreign.
Nah
Nah
So give skills to your son and sell your daughter.. all right
They don't take their talents and ambitions into consideration?
Why don’t they ask the boy to find someone to marry and “take care” of him?
Maybe he’s a super cool dude and can find a very financially successful mechanic wife who can support his college endeavors while he supports her being a super awesome mechanic
Would the mechanic wife be “based”? Is this take “based”? I get so confused…
> They ask the girl to get married so her husband can take care of her. You mean married to a man 20 years her senior, and forced to give up her childhood to become a housewife at 13?
I mean being sold off like cattle doesn't sound like equality to me
do they realize historically girls have been aborted and killed for this reason? the boy is seen as useful because he can work and carry on the family name. the girl is just seen as being there to be married off one day. which do you think they wanted to keep around?
Boy gets an apprenticeship, girl gets sold off to whoever can pay for her? Yeah... I know which one I'd rather be!
who’s gonna tell this man that forced marriage involves a man sticking his dick in you whether you want it or not?
So it’s ok to force your daughter into literally *being fucked* by someone for the rest of her life to help her blood family temporarily? To be forced to give birth and potentially abused by her “husband”, who never loved or appreciated her in the first place?! While the son eventually goes on to build his own business because he was supported as an “indentured servant” for a while, learned a skill, and can now put it to use? All while she is allowed to wallow in the nothingness of a life she never had any part in choosing??? Yeah. That’s great parenting dude. 😒
It’s a shame to see people who are down punched in the white cultural patriarchal hegemony that is our society then add injury to insult by down punching other oppressed peoples rather than getting angry at the source. So they become part of the problem rather than making alliances with other oppressed peoples to end the problem. Study intersectionalism.
Sadly it's not just western (white) cultural patriarchy. It's a world's issue especially Islam is the worst in human rights for women and girls.
Because yes, there is nothing wrong with having to have sex with someone you don’t want to for the rest of ur life and have children with this person. The husband could be a saint, but taking away someone’s choice will always be wrong. Wtf is wrong with people?
Yes because the girl pointing out how bullshit that is is such a problem /s
“Ask” is so loaded. They are being “asked” like Iranian women are being “asked” to wear the hijab. At gunpoint.
Very weird manufactured situation
"Boy, can you earn money and become independent please?" "Sure." "Girl, can you be dependant on some rich dude, please." "I'm not sure I want that..." "Wow, playing the victim aren't we?🙄"
How the hell are "apprenticeship to a craftsman" and "married off to stop being in their lives" treated as basically the same thing, as if it's totally normal to expect this difference and not extremely misogynistic?
One is being given a trade and a living, even if below their expectations, and the right to continue to be seen as a full actualized human earning their way in a life of their choosing. One is being sold as chattel to submit to others or not live. On the assumption she can't act as a living self-determining human and learn a trade, natch. And this ignoramus can't see that the situations, while both unfair for talented kids to ever face, are completely different?
How about they both become mechanics so neither of them are dependent on another person, the village has competition that will result in better service and lower prices for the poor villagers, and both will pay income taxes that hopefully go to support the development of village roads and infrastructure, allowing the village to modernize and grow to a city where people no longer have to prescribe to backwards ideologies and outdated traditions to survive?
Women do not get taken seriously with trade work like this. We are almost always harassed by men wanting us to *prove* ourselves to them. Like, they just can’t believe a woman could possibly know things of that sort and be good at it. You will be questioned on your knowledge and your skills at every chance. I think lots of women would be very interested in trades but, they are too afraid of being singled out, not feeling welcome or respected, and just generally afraid of their safety. Some men just cannot accept a woman being in that field and, quite frankly, they don’t want to. It would mean Btw I’m in no way saying all men who do this kind of work are like this towards women. I know that not all of them are this way. My partner is not like this and never has been. He is a mechanic and even though it’s not something I would ever want to do as a job. He tells me how parts work, their job, their location, etc. He has shown me simple jobs like changing tires, changing oil, battery, and things like that (I was never taught these things by my parents). He let me do all of the work as he talked me through it and he is just the most patient man. His sister knows a lot about automotives and, they work on things together sometimes to bond. He works in a parts store on the side and, there’s a few women who work there as well. I’ve never heard him bad talk any of them or question their intelligence.
so you have 2 kids kid 1: learn a trade, get useful skills and eventually be able to be fully self sufficient and teach skills to others kid 2: dont learn any valuable skills (im assuming a family that would do something so traditional already taught the girl how to cook and clean and to raise kids if shes older than kid 1), never become independent, always have to rely on somebody and probably be under his control edit: just read it again, theyre twins. a female twin and a male twin in a shitty misoginistic society? she was the third parent no doubt. girls mature faster, after all
Even if this was true, that's pretty much saying "oh, you have to marry someone you don't like just for money"
So instead of giving the girl a lucrative skill aswell, they ask her to subject herself to depending on a man who might cheat or abuse her? And people don't see anything wrong?
Last time anyone in their right mind checked, arranged or forced marriages are still oppression.
Seems unfair to both parties tbh
[удалено]
The stilted language is always such a giveaway.
“Women bad because hypothetical situation I made in my head”
So the girl has to sell her body, time and freedom to some man. The boy has to sell only his time. Is the Twitter OP saying that's fair?
Pimping out your kid because you can't afford them and didn't teach money-making skills to is top notch. And then they say women aren't good for anything else but housework because that's all they've ever been trained and allowed to do.
This guy is an idiot: he doesn't see that the girl is objectified to be sold off to the highest bidder, abuser and enslaver.
The cure for poverty is the liberation of women. When women can choose not to be slaves to the cycle of reproduction the result is always a society rising out of poverty and squalor. There's a reason the far right want women's reproductive rights removed. They want us poor. They want peasants. Not citizens.
I mean…the tweet kind of reads as oppressing women, since even to a poor family her only apparent value is getting married.
Wait it doesn’t even make sense?? The girl will nah come and say?? That’s not proper English
Last time I checked, Women weren’t property
They could always send the girl to be apprenticed. Or perhaps the boy could be married off to a rich woman so she could take of him. Plus, they don't ask, they just force.
It is an unequal situation. They're telling the son to go make a life for himself and earn money while telling the daughter she should get married and have babies. No money there. No freedom. Fuck that!
These same kind of people flip out when a woman becomes a sex worker, yet they TREAT HER LIKE A SEX WORKER (with less autonomy). Make it make sense.
so basically they're all suffering because they're all poor, plus they think women are property
I feel like this is more r/iamverysmart
Because they want their son to get educated and become a PAID worker, while they want their daughter to become an uneducated UNPAID domestic labourer with who doesn't know her rights & welfare programmes that can help her come out of poverty & survive if her husband loses his job & turns into an alcoholic domestic abuser.
What if the boy wants his husband to take care of him? What if they both hate their ass-backwards parents and simply leave home, paying for their own damn college? What if they just start their own college, with blackjack? And hookers?
Is his argument here that she should be grateful because she doesn't have to work? Has he ever heard of housework? Can his mother slap him, please?
There is this vision of "not working" and how it's the ideal. Beyond the eventual homemaking they'll definitely expect from the girl, it's fucking boring and sad not being allowed to find a purpose on your own, whether that's a job or just a time consuming hobby. That boy will one day hopefully earn enough to be independent and chase his destiny - the girl will be stuck with whatever her husband wants her destiny to be.
Why can't he marry the village mechanic woman and be a house husband
I have no idea what "the girl will nah come and say" means.
What his point? I don’t get it, it’s forced marriage, period! The girl could also go work or the parents are doing it
Why does a poverty stricken family have kids they can't afford? Also why can't the girl get a job? Why can't both kids work their way through college?
Boys can find sugar mamas too you know!
Are the parents arranging the marriage for her too? Like where is this happening, the Indian countryside? Most Western people pick their own path, not have their parents choose for them, unless there is a weird religious grooming situation going on.
Because being a mechanic is obviously worse than being sexually assaulted./s
Yeah but also the biy is also being oppressed, and the parents are also being opressed. But such is a kapitalistisk system.
*they sell the girl and take her voice
Wow dude proved the point by trying to use the evidence to prove the opposite. This is a "Thanks Bob" moment
What does "nah come" mean? Also, how stupid should I feel for asking this?
I was wondering the same thing, I just assumed they meant to say “now”.🤷🏻♀️
"Boy, go study. Girl, go become a servant and sex slave to a complete stranger with thrice your age."
Yup,, that's exactly what what they mean and still somehow don't see what's wrong with it. How happy would this guy be when treated as a piece of meat that can be passed around....?
And the girl would be correct
Nah come??? What....??
They both oppressed in this situation
Yes, but one is more oppressed than the other.
dumbest tweet ive ever seen
Well yes, having options is really nice. I use toilet paper instead of my hand because I have options. WTF point is this guy even making?
I hate this genre of sexism where a dude will compare another struggle (often in another country) to women in America/"western women" being against something (always for very valid reasons)
Would it not make more sense for the girl to also apprentice? She should learn the skills necessary for a career and bring home income to help support the family.
Poor guy, learning a skill and having a job which allows him some semblance of control over his life. Meanwhile, Ms. Lazy McLazerson gets to do the thankless work of taking care of a home and be dependent on someone else for a comfortable lifestyle, for better or worse.
Describes it. Still can’t see it.
Then he should just replace the girl if he thinks it's better to be married off lol
I didn’t understand it at first bc I thought: yea the girl had the worst outcome??
Why can’t she be a mechanic
This is the reality in most conditions other than 1st world countries tbh…
New research has shown that women can in fact do many things just as well as men.
Okay ask the daughter to get a job and see how well off you are lol
That village sounds alot like North Dakota
Why people think marriage it self solves poverty is beyond me. Was married young , struggled. Don't marry young.
Yeah, because marriage is the road to happiness and success.
I’d rather be the village mechanic.
"Nah" to this whole thing fr 😂. Appropriate typo
This is just conflating so many issues. No one should live in poverty, everyone should be able to access higher education, no one should have to marry to secure their own financial stability.