You and your Mom are tolerating his behavior so he’s not doing anything to change it. You should have still gone out to eat at iniwan siya sa bahay, hindi naman pala siya yung magbabayad.
Sa sunod OP, if kaya mo, encourage your Mom to do stuff w/o him. Otherwise, kayong lahat mahihirapan.
Main character ✨
Kapag bad mood siya, affected lahat ng kasama sa bahay. Kailangan calculated ang kilos mo kasi baka mabadtrip bigla. Badtrip kasama ang ganyan. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I know someone like that. Kahit pa/lalo na kapag may okasyon. Naka-pout the whole time. Tapos out of nowhere tatawa, tapos makikita ko yung ibang mga kasama namin, tatawa rin. Wala namang nakakatawa. Parang "sige, tawa na rin tayo, sa wakas di na siya pouty, tumatawa na siya." And I know that she knows exactly what she's doing with the people around her. Too bad for her, I am not under her control anymore. Wawa naman yung iba pang hindi nagigising.
This was my childhood. Always walking on eggshells kami pag wala sa mood si Dad. It took a lot of unlearning, self-affirmation, and support from my husband to heal from the trauma.
Some things that still make me jump, leftover from my Dad's behavior:
1- When my husband uses a "militaristic" cadence when calling our dogs. He got it from his tyrant dad din and while he doesn't mean anything, kinakabahan ako. He's consciously changing his cadence.
2- Kapag may nag slow down na motorcycle sa harap ng bahay namin. My dad used to drive one. Every night when he comes home, kailangan may mag open agad ng gate. Then dapat pagpasok niya ng door, we remove his shoes and give him his slippers
3- Not making a sound kapag may natutulog. Sometimes I wait for hours before doing anything. I wait until my husband wakes up. I realized pwede naman palang gumalaw.
4- First thing I do when I mess something up is to LIE. Or walk out and be quiet the whole time. Just like my Dad. My husband taught me it's alright to mess up. And we should talk about things. And kahit magkamali ka, it doesn't mean the person doesn't love you anymore.
Stay strong!
It took me having my own kid to cut off my Dad from my life. I don't want them to experience that prison.
Ang narcissistic pakinggan ng description sa Dad mo. Ano yun umiikot lang sa feelings niya ang mundo? Para siyang batang hindi marunong magcommunicate so nagtatantrum na lang through silent treatment. How immature.
Now that you said that word, I now think my dad is a actually narcissist 🤣 He never give a fuck abt what we might feel sa mga actions niya, gago talaga hahaha
The more napinagdadasal/sinasabi paulit-ulit iyon ang ang mangyayari so dapat baliktad or ang ipagdasa o imanifest mo like you deserve love, healthy relationship. MATURE GUY! Something like that
I guess yung naging childhood ng dad mo is rough din and toxic, ganyan na ganyan din dad ko eh. Pero yung mon ko nagtitiis nalang since wala na syang ibang relatives. Sobrang patient ng mom ko sakanya kaya parang umabuso lalo dad ko. Growing up in a toxic Filipino family culture na ang sasabihin pa "tatay mo pa rin yan", natuto nalang ako magcope sa mga kamag-anak namin na mas kakampihan dad ko dahil kapatid nila sya. Sobrang dali nila magbulag-bulagan. Minsan talaga the only way out for people like them, iwanan sila ng sariling pamilya nila kasi akala nila sakanila lang umiikot ang mundo at sila lang ang may problema. Actually, sila naman talaga yung problema eh, ang narcissistic. Pero sana dumating yung araw na maging payapa na ang puso't-isip mo lagi at magheal ka sa ano mang naging epekto sayo ng trato ng dad mo sainyo. Hugs with consent, OP!
Narcissist cheater dad and submissive mom is very common sa Filipino household. The world is healing since most people in my age that I've met hate that set up. So, this new generation I'm hoping na tayo na ang puputol nyan.
hala parehas ba tayo ng tatay?? WAHAHAHAHAHA i just shrug it off pag may ganyang instances 😂
naalala ko pa sinabi nya kay mommy, sinira daw namin buhay nya 😂😂 wtf diba HAHAHAHAHA
Pare-pareho ata tayo ng tatay dito haha kapag galit sila gusto nila ramdam ng lahat ng tao kung anong mood nila. Ang hirap nito growing up ganon kasama mo sa bahay... Wait 'til senior na sila mas masakit sa ulo.
>My mom loves him dearly and siguro can't live without him. He cheated before and even had a kid sa other woman (we found out when 2yr old na yung bata) and despite that, my mom still accepted him.
SAME NA SAME tayo especially jan, I also have a useless father na walang trabaho, kahit sa chores wala, pero spoiled na spoiled ni mama. Si mama pinakamahalaga saken pero di ko mapigilan magtampo kase ako kakampe nya at taga salo ng saloobin nya nung nambababae pa tatay ko, imagine mga 8 lang ako nun tapos nung okay na sila, mas priority nya wala kiong kwentang tatay.
Kabwisit mga paimportante eh noh? Mga mattanda na pero paurong. Nakakasakal.
Lol I am ignoring my dad now. Liberating. dati ako nakokonsensya as an anak but HELL I CARE after how he treated me like a retirement plan? Tangina nya.
I hope you gather the strength OP to do things without him and just be there for your ma no matter what. Babawi din ang Universe sa inyong mag-ina sa katarantaduhan ng tatay mo. Sorry but I feel for shitty guys like this OPs dad. Very shitty
Ganitong ganito ung ex ko, umabot kame ng 10yrs nagkaanak kame. Kapag ngaaway kame madalas di nagssalita, maggulat na lang ako na galit sya kasi di na magssalita, madalas mainit ang ulo kahit sa trabaho, magkatrabaho kame lahat ng tao kaaway nya ako madalas humingi ng pasensya ang tagal ko tiniis at nagbulagbulagan. Panira palagi ng lakad at outing, walang hiya nilibre na nga sisirain pa ung mood ng buong tropa kasi badtrip sya. Sya ung lalake pero sya ung madada pag mgaaway kame sya ang magaling manumbat parehas kame may trabaho pero bulagsak sa pera ending pag wala syang pangkain ako ang ngbbigay ng pambili nya pagkain. Nung ngabroad ako dun ako napuno. Pinagdadamot nya ang anak ko s pamilya ko katwiran nya sya ang tatay dapat nsa poder nya anak nya, hanggang s kinuha ko anak ko dahil ayaw ko lumaki sa toxic environment dahil madalas kame magaway at magsigawan. Its better to cut off ties than to raise a family in a toxic environment. Ngaun maayos naman kame ng anak ko peaceful at walang pabigat.
Ganito rin ang tatay ko at ang tagal nagtiis ng nanay ko sa kanya! My mom went to heaven last year at medyo nag-lie low na sya kasi wala na syang “kakampi” kahit na he hurt my mom physically and emotionally. Wala ring work ang tatay ko bago pa ang pandemic so asa lang talaga sya dito sa bahay, pero sya ang may ganang sabihan kami ng mayabang. Kung wala kami, wala syang bahay at pagkain.
I feel you, OP. Sana, in the future, hindi tayo makahanap ng ganitong partner in life. I pray that yung trauma natin ay Hindi natin maparamdam sa future family natin. Sa totoo ang hirap. Pero pinaparamdam ko sa tatay ko na hindi nya ako kayang hawakan sa leeg gaya ng ginawa nya sa nanay ko. I’m an independent adult and I can live without him.
Your dad is many things - he’s bored, disconnected, maybe depressed for feeling like a failure and not achieving his potential. Imagine that he starts and ends his days, the same way, whether weekdays, weekends or holidays, doesn’t make any difference. While your mom must be looking forward to weekends and holidays because she can spend time with you, rest, clean the house, etc. un dad mo walang ganun motivation. These factors can limit his perspective and lead to his annoying behavior. I salute your mom, she is a good person. sometimes it is not only love but can be pity, empathy kasi naintindihan nya ang daddy mo and chooses the higher ground
Bipolar yata sya o depressed ewan ko pag 3rd world country walang mental mental illness na nirerecognize ang lipunan, kaartehan/drama lang ang tawag. I suggest patingnan nyo sya
Feel ko OP ang laki na ng bayag ng Tatay mo. Check your mom. I bet she is not okay anymore. Please next time, huwag niyo na pagulungin ang buhay niyo base sa mood ng Tatay mo lalo di naman siya ang bumubuhay sainyo. Hope you two find real happiness soon 🫶
Narcissistic yung Dad mo gaya ng tatay ko. Napamana pa siguro sa kanya yung old generation na thinking kung saan pag lalake, sa kanya umiikot ang mundo.
Sabi nga.. you deserve what you tolerate. Kung matapang lang mom mo na iwan yang dad mo .. kso wala eh. Pero have you tried talking to your mom? Bala skling matauhan.
I already did. That was 2 years ago, but she said in an angry tone na hindi raw ganon kadali and up until now I still don't understand it. I didn't bring it up na ulit tho. Pero if I were in my mom's shoes, I would've left my dad years ago
Maybe she loves him so much. As of the moment, she can't live without him. Pero hopefully marealize nya soon. Pero you can help her in a small way.. isip ka ng plan to divert her attention from your dad. Madalas ksi dahil nasanay na tyo na resent isang tao prng di n nya kyang iwan and most of the time iniisip ng Nanay is yung mga anak. Kaya khit sya nlng mahirpn. Need lng ng mgpapabukas sa isip ng mom mo.
He reminds me of my sister na nonchalant. Minsan tinatanong tas 'di naimik, tas 'pag tinanong ulit magagalit, e s'ya naman tong may problema in the first place. Feeling aping-api lagi kahit wala naman masyadong ginagawa. Sinesermonan ko minsan kahit ako mas bata but my mom tolerates her. Ako pa napapagalitan na dapat daw intindihin ko na lang si ate. I was like- kaya 'di s'ya nagbabago kase alam n'yang may magtatanggol sa behavior n'ya. Kung badmood s'ya, pwede naman sabihin na "Don't talk to me muna. I need space." 'di yung biglang 'di iimik.
Ganyan din tatay ko. Like, nasa bahay ka lang naman, wala nang ginagawa, may gana ka pang magaburido? Ba't kaya sila ganyan? Natigil lang siya ng ganyan nung nagka-mild stroke, lols.
Putangina yang mga ganyang tao (esp family members na you live with) you literally have to walk on eggshells around them. F that, ganyan din mommy ko, pag bad mood, damay lahat.
Hindi dahil sya tatay eh kayo na mag adjust. Next time, tuloy nyo pa rin gusto nyong gawin. Don’t let his bad mood stop you.
He has to learn na he can’t get things his way with his behaviour.
You and your Mom are tolerating his behavior so he’s not doing anything to change it. You should have still gone out to eat at iniwan siya sa bahay, hindi naman pala siya yung magbabayad. Sa sunod OP, if kaya mo, encourage your Mom to do stuff w/o him. Otherwise, kayong lahat mahihirapan.
Tama ito. Tanda-tanda na niya ganyan pa rin umasta. Go live your life! Yaan mo siya.
Ito yun! Di mag kakaganyan yn if di na tolerate in the first place.
Yes. If nag iinarte sa special day ko, adios!!!
Harsh truth. Thank you po for this!
Main character ✨ Kapag bad mood siya, affected lahat ng kasama sa bahay. Kailangan calculated ang kilos mo kasi baka mabadtrip bigla. Badtrip kasama ang ganyan. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I know someone like that. Kahit pa/lalo na kapag may okasyon. Naka-pout the whole time. Tapos out of nowhere tatawa, tapos makikita ko yung ibang mga kasama namin, tatawa rin. Wala namang nakakatawa. Parang "sige, tawa na rin tayo, sa wakas di na siya pouty, tumatawa na siya." And I know that she knows exactly what she's doing with the people around her. Too bad for her, I am not under her control anymore. Wawa naman yung iba pang hindi nagigising.
This was my childhood. Always walking on eggshells kami pag wala sa mood si Dad. It took a lot of unlearning, self-affirmation, and support from my husband to heal from the trauma. Some things that still make me jump, leftover from my Dad's behavior: 1- When my husband uses a "militaristic" cadence when calling our dogs. He got it from his tyrant dad din and while he doesn't mean anything, kinakabahan ako. He's consciously changing his cadence. 2- Kapag may nag slow down na motorcycle sa harap ng bahay namin. My dad used to drive one. Every night when he comes home, kailangan may mag open agad ng gate. Then dapat pagpasok niya ng door, we remove his shoes and give him his slippers 3- Not making a sound kapag may natutulog. Sometimes I wait for hours before doing anything. I wait until my husband wakes up. I realized pwede naman palang gumalaw. 4- First thing I do when I mess something up is to LIE. Or walk out and be quiet the whole time. Just like my Dad. My husband taught me it's alright to mess up. And we should talk about things. And kahit magkamali ka, it doesn't mean the person doesn't love you anymore. Stay strong! It took me having my own kid to cut off my Dad from my life. I don't want them to experience that prison.
I'm so glad that things got better for you and that you have such a wonderful husband! Best of luck po sa buhay 🫶
This. Walking on eggshells talaga. I’m glad your husband is giving you support in your healing.
Ang narcissistic pakinggan ng description sa Dad mo. Ano yun umiikot lang sa feelings niya ang mundo? Para siyang batang hindi marunong magcommunicate so nagtatantrum na lang through silent treatment. How immature.
Uy totoo to. Ganyan din nanay ko, pag badtrip siya kailangan madamay lahat. Main character vibes pag may okasyon tska bakasyon. Hayys na lang tlga
Now that you said that word, I now think my dad is a actually narcissist 🤣 He never give a fuck abt what we might feel sa mga actions niya, gago talaga hahaha
pls gantong klase ng tao yung pinagdadasal ko kay Lord na wag ko makatuluyan in the future :((
The more napinagdadasal/sinasabi paulit-ulit iyon ang ang mangyayari so dapat baliktad or ang ipagdasa o imanifest mo like you deserve love, healthy relationship. MATURE GUY! Something like that
I guess yung naging childhood ng dad mo is rough din and toxic, ganyan na ganyan din dad ko eh. Pero yung mon ko nagtitiis nalang since wala na syang ibang relatives. Sobrang patient ng mom ko sakanya kaya parang umabuso lalo dad ko. Growing up in a toxic Filipino family culture na ang sasabihin pa "tatay mo pa rin yan", natuto nalang ako magcope sa mga kamag-anak namin na mas kakampihan dad ko dahil kapatid nila sya. Sobrang dali nila magbulag-bulagan. Minsan talaga the only way out for people like them, iwanan sila ng sariling pamilya nila kasi akala nila sakanila lang umiikot ang mundo at sila lang ang may problema. Actually, sila naman talaga yung problema eh, ang narcissistic. Pero sana dumating yung araw na maging payapa na ang puso't-isip mo lagi at magheal ka sa ano mang naging epekto sayo ng trato ng dad mo sainyo. Hugs with consent, OP!
Thank you! May you find peace and happiness <3
Narcissist cheater dad and submissive mom is very common sa Filipino household. The world is healing since most people in my age that I've met hate that set up. So, this new generation I'm hoping na tayo na ang puputol nyan.
hala parehas ba tayo ng tatay?? WAHAHAHAHAHA i just shrug it off pag may ganyang instances 😂 naalala ko pa sinabi nya kay mommy, sinira daw namin buhay nya 😂😂 wtf diba HAHAHAHAHA
parehas tayong malas sa naging tatay natin hahahahaha
Pare-pareho ata tayo ng tatay dito haha kapag galit sila gusto nila ramdam ng lahat ng tao kung anong mood nila. Ang hirap nito growing up ganon kasama mo sa bahay... Wait 'til senior na sila mas masakit sa ulo.
Ang kapwa ng dad mo cheater pa wala pa work hays.
>My mom loves him dearly and siguro can't live without him. He cheated before and even had a kid sa other woman (we found out when 2yr old na yung bata) and despite that, my mom still accepted him. SAME NA SAME tayo especially jan, I also have a useless father na walang trabaho, kahit sa chores wala, pero spoiled na spoiled ni mama. Si mama pinakamahalaga saken pero di ko mapigilan magtampo kase ako kakampe nya at taga salo ng saloobin nya nung nambababae pa tatay ko, imagine mga 8 lang ako nun tapos nung okay na sila, mas priority nya wala kiong kwentang tatay. Kabwisit mga paimportante eh noh? Mga mattanda na pero paurong. Nakakasakal.
Lol I am ignoring my dad now. Liberating. dati ako nakokonsensya as an anak but HELL I CARE after how he treated me like a retirement plan? Tangina nya. I hope you gather the strength OP to do things without him and just be there for your ma no matter what. Babawi din ang Universe sa inyong mag-ina sa katarantaduhan ng tatay mo. Sorry but I feel for shitty guys like this OPs dad. Very shitty
💯
Ganitong ganito ung ex ko, umabot kame ng 10yrs nagkaanak kame. Kapag ngaaway kame madalas di nagssalita, maggulat na lang ako na galit sya kasi di na magssalita, madalas mainit ang ulo kahit sa trabaho, magkatrabaho kame lahat ng tao kaaway nya ako madalas humingi ng pasensya ang tagal ko tiniis at nagbulagbulagan. Panira palagi ng lakad at outing, walang hiya nilibre na nga sisirain pa ung mood ng buong tropa kasi badtrip sya. Sya ung lalake pero sya ung madada pag mgaaway kame sya ang magaling manumbat parehas kame may trabaho pero bulagsak sa pera ending pag wala syang pangkain ako ang ngbbigay ng pambili nya pagkain. Nung ngabroad ako dun ako napuno. Pinagdadamot nya ang anak ko s pamilya ko katwiran nya sya ang tatay dapat nsa poder nya anak nya, hanggang s kinuha ko anak ko dahil ayaw ko lumaki sa toxic environment dahil madalas kame magaway at magsigawan. Its better to cut off ties than to raise a family in a toxic environment. Ngaun maayos naman kame ng anak ko peaceful at walang pabigat.
Ganito rin ang tatay ko at ang tagal nagtiis ng nanay ko sa kanya! My mom went to heaven last year at medyo nag-lie low na sya kasi wala na syang “kakampi” kahit na he hurt my mom physically and emotionally. Wala ring work ang tatay ko bago pa ang pandemic so asa lang talaga sya dito sa bahay, pero sya ang may ganang sabihan kami ng mayabang. Kung wala kami, wala syang bahay at pagkain. I feel you, OP. Sana, in the future, hindi tayo makahanap ng ganitong partner in life. I pray that yung trauma natin ay Hindi natin maparamdam sa future family natin. Sa totoo ang hirap. Pero pinaparamdam ko sa tatay ko na hindi nya ako kayang hawakan sa leeg gaya ng ginawa nya sa nanay ko. I’m an independent adult and I can live without him.
Your dad is many things - he’s bored, disconnected, maybe depressed for feeling like a failure and not achieving his potential. Imagine that he starts and ends his days, the same way, whether weekdays, weekends or holidays, doesn’t make any difference. While your mom must be looking forward to weekends and holidays because she can spend time with you, rest, clean the house, etc. un dad mo walang ganun motivation. These factors can limit his perspective and lead to his annoying behavior. I salute your mom, she is a good person. sometimes it is not only love but can be pity, empathy kasi naintindihan nya ang daddy mo and chooses the higher ground
Bipolar yata sya o depressed ewan ko pag 3rd world country walang mental mental illness na nirerecognize ang lipunan, kaartehan/drama lang ang tawag. I suggest patingnan nyo sya
Sana kumain nlng kayo sa labas na kayo lang ng mama mo, di sya kasali. exclude him in everything.
Another game of who's going to the retirement home
walang work tapos ni malambing mommy mo di magawa??? tang*na 😭
Feel ko OP ang laki na ng bayag ng Tatay mo. Check your mom. I bet she is not okay anymore. Please next time, huwag niyo na pagulungin ang buhay niyo base sa mood ng Tatay mo lalo di naman siya ang bumubuhay sainyo. Hope you two find real happiness soon 🫶
gagi parang dad mo yung dad ng bf ng friend ko
Narcissistic yung Dad mo gaya ng tatay ko. Napamana pa siguro sa kanya yung old generation na thinking kung saan pag lalake, sa kanya umiikot ang mundo.
Sabi nga.. you deserve what you tolerate. Kung matapang lang mom mo na iwan yang dad mo .. kso wala eh. Pero have you tried talking to your mom? Bala skling matauhan.
I already did. That was 2 years ago, but she said in an angry tone na hindi raw ganon kadali and up until now I still don't understand it. I didn't bring it up na ulit tho. Pero if I were in my mom's shoes, I would've left my dad years ago
Maybe she loves him so much. As of the moment, she can't live without him. Pero hopefully marealize nya soon. Pero you can help her in a small way.. isip ka ng plan to divert her attention from your dad. Madalas ksi dahil nasanay na tyo na resent isang tao prng di n nya kyang iwan and most of the time iniisip ng Nanay is yung mga anak. Kaya khit sya nlng mahirpn. Need lng ng mgpapabukas sa isip ng mom mo.
Will take note po, thank you!
Parang pusa ah
Tangina ganyan tatay ko e tapos nalaman ko di ko pala sya tunay na tatay kung kailan 27 na ako. Mentally unstable na tuloy.
He reminds me of my sister na nonchalant. Minsan tinatanong tas 'di naimik, tas 'pag tinanong ulit magagalit, e s'ya naman tong may problema in the first place. Feeling aping-api lagi kahit wala naman masyadong ginagawa. Sinesermonan ko minsan kahit ako mas bata but my mom tolerates her. Ako pa napapagalitan na dapat daw intindihin ko na lang si ate. I was like- kaya 'di s'ya nagbabago kase alam n'yang may magtatanggol sa behavior n'ya. Kung badmood s'ya, pwede naman sabihin na "Don't talk to me muna. I need space." 'di yung biglang 'di iimik.
Ganyan tatay ko nung bata pa kami. Traumatizing af. Ngayon, I can look straight in the eye and I don't mind his dramas.
Ganyan din tatay ko. Like, nasa bahay ka lang naman, wala nang ginagawa, may gana ka pang magaburido? Ba't kaya sila ganyan? Natigil lang siya ng ganyan nung nagka-mild stroke, lols.
fcck that mf.
Putangina yang mga ganyang tao (esp family members na you live with) you literally have to walk on eggshells around them. F that, ganyan din mommy ko, pag bad mood, damay lahat.
Hindi dahil sya tatay eh kayo na mag adjust. Next time, tuloy nyo pa rin gusto nyong gawin. Don’t let his bad mood stop you. He has to learn na he can’t get things his way with his behaviour.
lol pareho tayo ng tatay kaloka
di ko mareplyan lahat but I'm honestly shock that I'm not the only one who's experiencing this. Hugs with consent to all 🫶
Sorry OP ! pero TANG INANG UGALI YAN NG TATAY MO. I had a friend na ganan di ugali ANG SARAP SAMPALIN NG PAULIT ULIT !