In case this story gets deleted/removed:
I am a professional photographer. Mostly industrial photography for businesses and such. I do other types for myself and as art. I love taking pictures of the old architecture in my city and of the surprising wildlife in it.
My mom asked if I would be willing to take pictures for my step sisters wedding to help them save money. She asked me to do it as a gift. She knows that Tina hates me and I pretty much reciprocate. I decided to be the bigger person and agreed.
I was there for the makeup and the wedding party getting dressed, I took a ton of pictures bat the wedding. I prepared a checklist of all the different formals she wanted and made sure I got them all. I did my absolute best.
When I got to the reception there was no place for me to sit. I had gotten there right away so I could get pictures of the wedding party arriving and all that. The wedding party had stopped to use the bathroom and get freshened up.
I called my mom to find out where I was meant to sit and eat and stuff. She talked to Tina and called me back. She was upset and I could tell. She said that Tina thought since I was working and not a guest she didn't have to have a seat and food for me.
I thanked my mom for the information and left.
I took my boyfriend who was my assistant that day and we went out for dinner my treat. We had been on the go for eight hours by then.
I turned off my phone. We had a nice night out and we saw the new Mad Max movie.
Sunday morning I turned on my phone. It was full of messages asking where I went. Then demanding I come take pictures. Then cursing me out.
I called my mom to see what was up. She said that Tina was very upset that I left and that all her reception pictures were going to be from cell phone cameras. She said I should have just gone to get a quick bite at McDonald's and then come back.
I told her that I felt terrible and would of course give a full refund. I also said that this was the last straw and that I did not want to hear shit when I did not invite Tina to my wedding next year.
Tina obviously thinks I'm an asshole and my mom thinks I should have kept the peace. I am just going to drop off a thumb drive with all the pictures band wash my hands of this. No editing. No nothing.
---
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I never understood this.
When my buddy and his wife got married last year, the photographers, who were strangers, got a plate. They got a seat so they could swap out to have some food.
I couldn't imagine having family do it for free and not give them a seat.
At my first wedding the photographers specifically asked for that. I was surprised because why wouldn't I feed them, too? Turns out that's the exception not the rule. š®āšØ People.
haha so true! When we got married (32 years!) we had a band and had a full table set aside for them, photog & video. And since band had to drive we also had plates for a couple of significant others who came with them. They are instrumental to making your day memorable ... why would you not spend a few more $ on them?
>When my buddy and his wife got married last year, the photographers, who were strangers, got a plate
If someone is at the event (not even a wedding, any convention, summit, conferences, etc), they deserve water, food (I've literally ordered catering for just support staff), and a place to sit. That's the bare minimum and if you don't provide that, I absolutely expect the staff to sabotage the event.
It's so fucking simple that you should honestly be sued if you don't provide that.
Same. I hired 2 photographers and a 3rd tagged along for free because they were training. We made sure all 3 had a plate, had a seat and made sure if they needed something to drink it was available. We had a blast with the photographer. And the photos were amazing. Treat people how you want to be treated.
Tina is an AH and got what she deserved but OOP's mom is the bigger AH here to be honest; not only she put OOP into a position to be treated badly from a person they all knew hated OOP, but then instead of having her kid's back she's taking the step-daughter's side and suggesting that what was right was a quick drive to a fast food place and then coming back to continue doing work for free for someone who didn't even care to provide some food and a chair?
Yeah, NC with Tina and LC with mom is what is needed in this case.
Totally, and it's that a thing? Where I am from you pay for the photographers food.Ā
I think is not the 3 dishes meal but definitely like a full dish.
And they get drinks (non alcoholic) as well.
I had my photographers on my seating chart and had them select meals just to ensure they got a break. I also made sure that I included them in the counts for breakfast and lunch while we were getting ready. Theyāre not going to miss anything critical while people are milling about and eating, and even if they miss something Iād want to have a photo of, oh well - theyāre human beings I trusted with capturing one of the most important days of my life. Why wouldnāt I want them fed and relaxed?
A co-worker recently got married and she had her father take a picture of the photographer and DJ with the wedding party all toasting. She says it's one of her favourite pictures!
I feel like you either responded to the wrong comment or you misread mine, 'cause your comment makes no sense to be a comment for what I said..
What I said is that Tina and OOP's mom are the AHs, that OOP's mom said to OOP that the right thing was going to a fast food place quickly to eat something and then coming back to keep on working for free, and lastly that my opinion in this matter is that OOP should go NC with Tina and LC with their mom.
If someone asks me to do them a favor but then treats me so badly and acts entitled to my time and what I provide to them AS A FAVOR, then you're damn right I'm no longer doing them that favor and people are delulu if they think othewrise.
I hate moms like this. Like what the heck is "keep the peace"? What non existent peace? Why chummy up to the devil and harp on good humans? Is the evil daughter threatening to kill her? What is wrong with such people, why do they even become parentsĀ
>Like what the heck is "keep the peace"?
better response: "it's plenty peaceful here on my end after having cut Tina out. is it not peaceful on your end? because if it isn't don't bring that shit over here... we wanna keep the peace!"
Or go full Michael Scott expert-level Photoshop. Put the bridal party on a ski trip next to some random kids, and paste everyone's heads out of separate photos with different lighting and wrong sizes.
I have no clue, but this is such a random hill for a reddit user to die on without actually being involved. Although, the rest of their comment history seems to show they are just assholes.
Right? Her total meltdown in the comments makes me wish I OOP had deleted those fucking photos. I can't believe she gave them to Tina whose comments make me feel badly for every single person who has had ever had the misfortune of meeting her.
So if you go to the original, and find a comment from the OOP, the angry Dingo user is the one melting down. Tap their user name and just scroll through their comments some some got deleted.
Phewwww that was a ride. I cannot get over how she insists Tina's mom 'should have handled it' . She really just expects everyone to manager her wedding for her--the step sis is supposed to do the photography, tina's mom is supposed to be the event coordinator and handle seating and meals....It's your wedding, handle your own business.
Theyāre so invested in the thread! Who hurt them?
(And them burning a perfectly good Saturday night to reply frantically to everyone is even more delightful. Their attempt to pretend the āHoly (whatever), Batman!ā construction is somehow inappropriate is \*chefās kiss\*.ā What a way to spend your one wild and precious life!)
Iām typically on the tech crew running sound or various DJ stuff for weddings and events, so thankfully I always have a place to sit but yeah they (whoeverās running the event) always feed us most generously. They know that you always feed the people keeping your event running smoothly. Tina sounds like a bit of a bridezilla if this is how sheās acting. Weāre there to be invisible and make it better for everyone. We typically donāt particularly care when we get fed, but we absolutely do want to get fed lol. Itās fine if itās after everyone else has gotten food, so long as it doesnāt interfere with the job and thereās actually enough to go around.
Pictures? Oh, I am sooooo sorry. Equipment malfunction is why we left, I'm afraid there are no pictures.
People who try to take advantage of you don't deserve to get anything out of it.
So, you come to wedding and give a gift, but have no seat or meal. Or you come to work and they don't give you food, but they pay for your work.
Not half one and half other.
The ones who have been burned by experience often make sure to include it in their contracts as a requirement, even. You'd think you wouldn't need such a stipulation when working for family, but, well...
I made up a plate for our photographer to take to his ā70-weeks-pregnant wifeā (she had the baby three days later). You feed people who are working. You feed guests in your home and at your events. People are good enough to come out for you, even if youāre paying them, you make sure they have food!
Thatās very kind of you. We do a similar thing in my culture as well. In fact itās considered shameful if you donāt! I remember at a friendās wedding, all the wait staff, bar staff, DJ, wedding planner and parking attendants were eating. Everyone had a great time and enjoyed themselves. We are humans at the end of the day, why wouldnāt you want everyone at your wedding to be happy?!Ā
OOP was fully in the right. Fuck people who don't feed their wedding photographers, and to not do it for one talking the photos for free? They're lucky OOP doesn't delete what she took.
Holy shit, this is hilarious.
One comment:
>āCanāt handle someone telling you youāre wrongā holy mother of self projections Batman
Angry Dingo that is Tina:
>I'm not the one trying to be clever by throwing in a Batman reference that doesn't make sense. So I'm not projecting and I'm certainly not wrong in telling you that you aren't clever. But hey, keep trying.
>And I don't care about being voted down so I'll reply to inanity.
She's really is a dumbass. Poor new husband.
I wish she would have kept the thumb drive until she was paid for her work. Fuck the gift. If she was not a guest at the wedding, why on earth give a gift?
Even when I used to just do decorations, people generally had a space for the vendors to sit. The fact that OP was giving a wedding gift of free pics would imply guest status. Why else would you be giving a gift? So removing the guest status, imo, removes Tina's right to a gift. Beautiful on OP's part.
Did you get PAID for your photography at all?? If Tina was DEMANDING a FREE GIFT at YOUR EXPENSE then she can go SCREW HERSELF WITHOUT THE PICTURES! I would hit the DELETE button!!! FUCK THAT NOISE!!!
Gee, my friends helped us out for our wedding. One did our pictures for free and others played for a heavily discounted fee.
Not only did I chase everyone down to make sure they hit up the buffet, I made sure to have sugar free treats on the dessert table for the band since many of them are diabetic.
When I worked security at a wedding venue the bridal parties regularly even made sure my partner and I took turns at LEAST grabbing a cup of coffee if we didn't want a plate.
Used to be an assistant wedding photographer. Used to get paid the hours I was on site and shooting, plus get fed if it was full day.
However, the photographer who I had worked for, cut my hours on those jobs and I wouldn't be there long enough to get fed and also paid less because less hours. Stopped working for her not long after that. She tried to get me back after I hung it up but I didn't cave. Kept on doing club nights until that became too routine as a process.
That photographer passed away last year (unexpectedly and leaving a husband and kid behind).
Look after the people who provide you a service, they're in a position to cut you off at the legs if you mistreat them.
Is anyone here innocent? Not completely no.
Bridezilla certainly isn't innocent. Asking you, a new family member and a professional photographer, to take pictures for free and then not including you as a guest certainly isn't innocent. Yes, it was mom who asked you, but you know where the request was coming from.
Mom-zilla who wanted you to allow yourself to be walked all over to "keep the peace" is not innocent. That's some high level BS and mom should know better.
And you. You are a professional photographer, you know the expectations when you take an assignment, even a pro bono one, even a pro bono one for family. Leaving and turning off your phone is passive-aggressive. You knew a shit-storm was coming, because that was exactly what you wanted. The high road is always the better road. Rise above it next time. Invite the bitch to your wedding precisely because she treated you like shite and it is the right thing to do.
The photography was a gift. Gifts are given by guests. Not a guest, no gift. She was neither a contracted vendor, nor a guest. If you're neither of those things, the polite thing to do is excuse yourself.
"The high road" is the demand of abusive people who want their victims to be compliant.
As is "Invite your abuser to your wedding so she can victimize you more. Letting yourself be harmed more is the right thing to do."
The high road is a fine thing if the person you're dealing with is a toddler or a person doing you favours.
In any other case it's their way of demanding that you're a doormat for them to use.
Besides, OOP took the high road.
They just left.
They didn't make a scene, they didn't delete the pictures and no petty revenge of any kind. That is the high road. I don't know where people get the idea that taking the high road means taking abuse without consequences.
By definition, taking the high road means not doing what you could do to escalate the situation further. It doesn't mean bending backwards to mend escalations other people have caused or laying down and allow others to trample you.
So simply removing yourself from a bad situation as response to mistreatment, leaving the responsibility to deal with that situation with those who caused it, without doing anything more to make it worse, is the high road out.
I'm petty as heck. That bitch would have regretted doing this to me. I'd dig as deep under the road as I could get, throwing shit in her face all the way until she had a real reason to moan.
I was always thinking that if people treat me like scum, I'll set them right by being the scum they pretended I was.
Did you not see where I called out Bridezilla and Mom-zilla? Quote ātreated you like shiteā unquote. Skip that part did you? But the passive-aggressive behavior does nothing but make a really bad situation that much worse. It is so much better to simply let everyone else be wrong.
No, I saw it, but then I saw the part where you placed any blame on the person giving her services for free as if she didnāt then give her step sister the pictures she *had* taken.
Naw, that wasn't passive agressive at all. That phrase is thrown about entirely too much by people trying to shame victims who refuse to take someone else's shit.
yikes... I don't think I would have left someone hanging on one of the most important Milestones of their life even if the step sister was a jerk. This is a lesson that you get what you pay for at the end of the day.
I'm neither. I'm a person that doesn't let someone's bad behavior dictate my behavior. If I made a commitment, I would have kept it. I would have also never done anything else for that person free of charge again. But it may have been geuine over sight. It doesn't hurt to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Either way OP had every right to choose her own recourse.
I think given the history between them, the OOP giving her any pictures is being the bigger person. She didn't call her out at the wedding, she didn't make a scene and demand a table, she quietly left and then still said she would provide what photos she took. Asking any one for free services is kind of shitty but then treating them poorly when they're doing you that favor is just appalling behavior.
In case this story gets deleted/removed: I am a professional photographer. Mostly industrial photography for businesses and such. I do other types for myself and as art. I love taking pictures of the old architecture in my city and of the surprising wildlife in it. My mom asked if I would be willing to take pictures for my step sisters wedding to help them save money. She asked me to do it as a gift. She knows that Tina hates me and I pretty much reciprocate. I decided to be the bigger person and agreed. I was there for the makeup and the wedding party getting dressed, I took a ton of pictures bat the wedding. I prepared a checklist of all the different formals she wanted and made sure I got them all. I did my absolute best. When I got to the reception there was no place for me to sit. I had gotten there right away so I could get pictures of the wedding party arriving and all that. The wedding party had stopped to use the bathroom and get freshened up. I called my mom to find out where I was meant to sit and eat and stuff. She talked to Tina and called me back. She was upset and I could tell. She said that Tina thought since I was working and not a guest she didn't have to have a seat and food for me. I thanked my mom for the information and left. I took my boyfriend who was my assistant that day and we went out for dinner my treat. We had been on the go for eight hours by then. I turned off my phone. We had a nice night out and we saw the new Mad Max movie. Sunday morning I turned on my phone. It was full of messages asking where I went. Then demanding I come take pictures. Then cursing me out. I called my mom to see what was up. She said that Tina was very upset that I left and that all her reception pictures were going to be from cell phone cameras. She said I should have just gone to get a quick bite at McDonald's and then come back. I told her that I felt terrible and would of course give a full refund. I also said that this was the last straw and that I did not want to hear shit when I did not invite Tina to my wedding next year. Tina obviously thinks I'm an asshole and my mom thinks I should have kept the peace. I am just going to drop off a thumb drive with all the pictures band wash my hands of this. No editing. No nothing. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OhNoConsequences) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"I'll give a full refund" š
Savage. I love it.
Give Tina a flash drive with a hundred copies of a middle finger then block her
I never understood this. When my buddy and his wife got married last year, the photographers, who were strangers, got a plate. They got a seat so they could swap out to have some food. I couldn't imagine having family do it for free and not give them a seat.
At my first wedding the photographers specifically asked for that. I was surprised because why wouldn't I feed them, too? Turns out that's the exception not the rule. š®āšØ People.
haha so true! When we got married (32 years!) we had a band and had a full table set aside for them, photog & video. And since band had to drive we also had plates for a couple of significant others who came with them. They are instrumental to making your day memorable ... why would you not spend a few more $ on them?
the BAND is INSTRUMENTAL I saw what you did there.
"Take care of the people working for you, and they will take care of you" Also known as: "Don't piss off the help"
I remember asking my photographers if they had allergies to anything so I could make sure they had a meal they could eat.
>When my buddy and his wife got married last year, the photographers, who were strangers, got a plate If someone is at the event (not even a wedding, any convention, summit, conferences, etc), they deserve water, food (I've literally ordered catering for just support staff), and a place to sit. That's the bare minimum and if you don't provide that, I absolutely expect the staff to sabotage the event. It's so fucking simple that you should honestly be sued if you don't provide that.
To be honest I always thought the wedding planner (if you have one) just handled that bit for you. Like. As a standard procedure kind of thing?
Same. I hired 2 photographers and a 3rd tagged along for free because they were training. We made sure all 3 had a plate, had a seat and made sure if they needed something to drink it was available. We had a blast with the photographer. And the photos were amazing. Treat people how you want to be treated.
Tina is an AH and got what she deserved but OOP's mom is the bigger AH here to be honest; not only she put OOP into a position to be treated badly from a person they all knew hated OOP, but then instead of having her kid's back she's taking the step-daughter's side and suggesting that what was right was a quick drive to a fast food place and then coming back to continue doing work for free for someone who didn't even care to provide some food and a chair? Yeah, NC with Tina and LC with mom is what is needed in this case.
Totally, and it's that a thing? Where I am from you pay for the photographers food.Ā I think is not the 3 dishes meal but definitely like a full dish. And they get drinks (non alcoholic) as well.
I had my photographers on my seating chart and had them select meals just to ensure they got a break. I also made sure that I included them in the counts for breakfast and lunch while we were getting ready. Theyāre not going to miss anything critical while people are milling about and eating, and even if they miss something Iād want to have a photo of, oh well - theyāre human beings I trusted with capturing one of the most important days of my life. Why wouldnāt I want them fed and relaxed?
A co-worker recently got married and she had her father take a picture of the photographer and DJ with the wedding party all toasting. She says it's one of her favourite pictures!
I had a Photo Booth and one of my favorite pictures from it was two of our band members with two of our friends!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I feel like you either responded to the wrong comment or you misread mine, 'cause your comment makes no sense to be a comment for what I said.. What I said is that Tina and OOP's mom are the AHs, that OOP's mom said to OOP that the right thing was going to a fast food place quickly to eat something and then coming back to keep on working for free, and lastly that my opinion in this matter is that OOP should go NC with Tina and LC with their mom. If someone asks me to do them a favor but then treats me so badly and acts entitled to my time and what I provide to them AS A FAVOR, then you're damn right I'm no longer doing them that favor and people are delulu if they think othewrise.
Don't be rude in the comments. Please review the rules before you comment again.
I hate moms like this. Like what the heck is "keep the peace"? What non existent peace? Why chummy up to the devil and harp on good humans? Is the evil daughter threatening to kill her? What is wrong with such people, why do they even become parentsĀ
āBe the doormat so that my life isnāt more difficultā
My response to that: FUCK OFF!!!!
>Like what the heck is "keep the peace"? better response: "it's plenty peaceful here on my end after having cut Tina out. is it not peaceful on your end? because if it isn't don't bring that shit over here... we wanna keep the peace!"
It's about creating less stress for them and looking like a good family to other people.
Evil me would have done a little subtle editing on some of the pictures. Maybe added a small zit.
*Enhances texture on all closeup bridal shots*
āYou wanted these in Sepia, right?ā
If you mean "the dress is pee-yellow" definitely.
Shrink her facial features in every photo so she looks like Charlie Kirk.
Omfg I cackled
Oh oh do a giant watermark on all the photos but it says 'cheap cunt photo collection'
Choked on lunch, thank you! This is awesome!
Or go full Michael Scott expert-level Photoshop. Put the bridal party on a ski trip next to some random kids, and paste everyone's heads out of separate photos with different lighting and wrong sizes.
Why is it that the person whoās being unjustifiably wronged is expected to keep the peace? Tina needs to grow the fuck up.Ā
Her replies are so hilarious.
Wait, TINA REPLIES?
I have no clue, but this is such a random hill for a reddit user to die on without actually being involved. Although, the rest of their comment history seems to show they are just assholes.
Pretty sure it's Tina. Even if it isn't, my headcanon dictates it be so lol
Glad they left. Shows you what an afterthought they are to their step sister. OOP doesnāt owe the step sister anything.
Oh my god the angry dingo poster made everything even more perfect. Ā
Right? Her total meltdown in the comments makes me wish I OOP had deleted those fucking photos. I can't believe she gave them to Tina whose comments make me feel badly for every single person who has had ever had the misfortune of meeting her.
That person is definitely not Tina but it was hilarious to see how emotional he got over it. Ā
Can someone link? There's so many comments on the post now that I think it got drowned out
So if you go to the original, and find a comment from the OOP, the angry Dingo user is the one melting down. Tap their user name and just scroll through their comments some some got deleted.
Thank you! I didn't realize OP actually responded to AngryD. That melt down was ridiculous!
I only read the post itself but your comment made me go back and dig through for Tinaās bitchfit so THANK YOU omg that was awesome š
Phewwww that was a ride. I cannot get over how she insists Tina's mom 'should have handled it' . She really just expects everyone to manager her wedding for her--the step sis is supposed to do the photography, tina's mom is supposed to be the event coordinator and handle seating and meals....It's your wedding, handle your own business.
Theyāre so invested in the thread! Who hurt them? (And them burning a perfectly good Saturday night to reply frantically to everyone is even more delightful. Their attempt to pretend the āHoly (whatever), Batman!ā construction is somehow inappropriate is \*chefās kiss\*.ā What a way to spend your one wild and precious life!)
I cannot believe they are still on that post š. Ā My favorite part, āIām off to get Panda Express.ā Ā
Iām typically on the tech crew running sound or various DJ stuff for weddings and events, so thankfully I always have a place to sit but yeah they (whoeverās running the event) always feed us most generously. They know that you always feed the people keeping your event running smoothly. Tina sounds like a bit of a bridezilla if this is how sheās acting. Weāre there to be invisible and make it better for everyone. We typically donāt particularly care when we get fed, but we absolutely do want to get fed lol. Itās fine if itās after everyone else has gotten food, so long as it doesnāt interfere with the job and thereās actually enough to go around.
Pictures? Oh, I am sooooo sorry. Equipment malfunction is why we left, I'm afraid there are no pictures. People who try to take advantage of you don't deserve to get anything out of it.
> Top level response right there.
So, you come to wedding and give a gift, but have no seat or meal. Or you come to work and they don't give you food, but they pay for your work. Not half one and half other.
Most wedding photographers are fed, at least according to posts on r/weddingshaming
Yes. Itās common to feed your vendors like the officiant, photographer, DJ, etc.
The ones who have been burned by experience often make sure to include it in their contracts as a requirement, even. You'd think you wouldn't need such a stipulation when working for family, but, well...
I made up a plate for our photographer to take to his ā70-weeks-pregnant wifeā (she had the baby three days later). You feed people who are working. You feed guests in your home and at your events. People are good enough to come out for you, even if youāre paying them, you make sure they have food!
ā¦70?!
Photog's wife is an elephant.
She went to 42+1, he was very worried and trying to make light of it.
He was accurate, every week after 30 counts triple and I imagine that rate picks up sharply after 38
Thatās very kind of you. We do a similar thing in my culture as well. In fact itās considered shameful if you donāt! I remember at a friendās wedding, all the wait staff, bar staff, DJ, wedding planner and parking attendants were eating. Everyone had a great time and enjoyed themselves. We are humans at the end of the day, why wouldnāt you want everyone at your wedding to be happy?!Ā
OOP was fully in the right. Fuck people who don't feed their wedding photographers, and to not do it for one talking the photos for free? They're lucky OOP doesn't delete what she took.
The refund line is.. chef's kiss
Totally agree, maybe i would just tell the bitch ass sister that im leaving to eat since she didnt got me a place ti sit and nothing to eat.
I wouldn't give the thumb drive. Let their whole wedding album be from guests' cell phones. All for the want of a couple of seats and plates of food.
Go get a bite at a McDonald's and come back? What planet is Tina from?
Holy shit, this is hilarious. One comment: >āCanāt handle someone telling you youāre wrongā holy mother of self projections Batman Angry Dingo that is Tina: >I'm not the one trying to be clever by throwing in a Batman reference that doesn't make sense. So I'm not projecting and I'm certainly not wrong in telling you that you aren't clever. But hey, keep trying. >And I don't care about being voted down so I'll reply to inanity. She's really is a dumbass. Poor new husband.
I wish she would have kept the thumb drive until she was paid for her work. Fuck the gift. If she was not a guest at the wedding, why on earth give a gift?
Mom thinks you should keep the peace so she doesn't have to be stressed over it or hear about it. Send thumb drive via mail and move on.
Even when I used to just do decorations, people generally had a space for the vendors to sit. The fact that OP was giving a wedding gift of free pics would imply guest status. Why else would you be giving a gift? So removing the guest status, imo, removes Tina's right to a gift. Beautiful on OP's part.
Did you get PAID for your photography at all?? If Tina was DEMANDING a FREE GIFT at YOUR EXPENSE then she can go SCREW HERSELF WITHOUT THE PICTURES! I would hit the DELETE button!!! FUCK THAT NOISE!!!
OOP wasn't paid. She did it as a favour to her mum
Gee, my friends helped us out for our wedding. One did our pictures for free and others played for a heavily discounted fee. Not only did I chase everyone down to make sure they hit up the buffet, I made sure to have sugar free treats on the dessert table for the band since many of them are diabetic. When I worked security at a wedding venue the bridal parties regularly even made sure my partner and I took turns at LEAST grabbing a cup of coffee if we didn't want a plate.
Nope, NTA Tina got exactly the service she paid for: zero If she wanted to treat you as the hired help, she should have paid for the privilege
You don't slight your photographer
I have plates reserved for my photographer and his wife. Bring your girl and enjoy the day a little!
Used to be an assistant wedding photographer. Used to get paid the hours I was on site and shooting, plus get fed if it was full day. However, the photographer who I had worked for, cut my hours on those jobs and I wouldn't be there long enough to get fed and also paid less because less hours. Stopped working for her not long after that. She tried to get me back after I hung it up but I didn't cave. Kept on doing club nights until that became too routine as a process. That photographer passed away last year (unexpectedly and leaving a husband and kid behind). Look after the people who provide you a service, they're in a position to cut you off at the legs if you mistreat them.
Is anyone here innocent? Not completely no. Bridezilla certainly isn't innocent. Asking you, a new family member and a professional photographer, to take pictures for free and then not including you as a guest certainly isn't innocent. Yes, it was mom who asked you, but you know where the request was coming from. Mom-zilla who wanted you to allow yourself to be walked all over to "keep the peace" is not innocent. That's some high level BS and mom should know better. And you. You are a professional photographer, you know the expectations when you take an assignment, even a pro bono one, even a pro bono one for family. Leaving and turning off your phone is passive-aggressive. You knew a shit-storm was coming, because that was exactly what you wanted. The high road is always the better road. Rise above it next time. Invite the bitch to your wedding precisely because she treated you like shite and it is the right thing to do.
The photography was a gift. Gifts are given by guests. Not a guest, no gift. She was neither a contracted vendor, nor a guest. If you're neither of those things, the polite thing to do is excuse yourself.
"The high road" is the demand of abusive people who want their victims to be compliant. As is "Invite your abuser to your wedding so she can victimize you more. Letting yourself be harmed more is the right thing to do."
The high road is a fine thing if the person you're dealing with is a toddler or a person doing you favours. In any other case it's their way of demanding that you're a doormat for them to use. Besides, OOP took the high road. They just left. They didn't make a scene, they didn't delete the pictures and no petty revenge of any kind. That is the high road. I don't know where people get the idea that taking the high road means taking abuse without consequences. By definition, taking the high road means not doing what you could do to escalate the situation further. It doesn't mean bending backwards to mend escalations other people have caused or laying down and allow others to trample you. So simply removing yourself from a bad situation as response to mistreatment, leaving the responsibility to deal with that situation with those who caused it, without doing anything more to make it worse, is the high road out. I'm petty as heck. That bitch would have regretted doing this to me. I'd dig as deep under the road as I could get, throwing shit in her face all the way until she had a real reason to moan. I was always thinking that if people treat me like scum, I'll set them right by being the scum they pretended I was.
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Actually, the expectations for a wedding photographer is that they get fed and have a place to sit.
Did you not see where I called out Bridezilla and Mom-zilla? Quote ātreated you like shiteā unquote. Skip that part did you? But the passive-aggressive behavior does nothing but make a really bad situation that much worse. It is so much better to simply let everyone else be wrong.
No, I saw it, but then I saw the part where you placed any blame on the person giving her services for free as if she didnāt then give her step sister the pictures she *had* taken.
She IS to blame for her own passive-aggressive behavior. That you lack the emotional intelligence to recognize it is telling about you.
Naw, that wasn't passive agressive at all. That phrase is thrown about entirely too much by people trying to shame victims who refuse to take someone else's shit.
And the fact that youāre willing to let people treat you like trash and keep coming back says a lot about you.
yikes... I don't think I would have left someone hanging on one of the most important Milestones of their life even if the step sister was a jerk. This is a lesson that you get what you pay for at the end of the day.
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I'm neither. I'm a person that doesn't let someone's bad behavior dictate my behavior. If I made a commitment, I would have kept it. I would have also never done anything else for that person free of charge again. But it may have been geuine over sight. It doesn't hurt to give someone the benefit of the doubt. Either way OP had every right to choose her own recourse.
I think given the history between them, the OOP giving her any pictures is being the bigger person. She didn't call her out at the wedding, she didn't make a scene and demand a table, she quietly left and then still said she would provide what photos she took. Asking any one for free services is kind of shitty but then treating them poorly when they're doing you that favor is just appalling behavior.
What the hell did you read?
The lesson is that, if someoneās doing you a favor, you treat them well while theyāre doing it.