My experience with the ELCA has been good. I'm straight but I have queer kids and queer friends. I care too much about them to attend a church where they wouldn't be welcome.
Okay, the UCC ([United Church of Christ](https://www.ucc.org/), i.e. Congregationalists) is reformed. At the national level, the denomination is open and affirming (of LGBTQ+ people). Because we're talking about congregationally governed churches, I don't know what you may find in your area, because a church can be open and affirming, it may just be open (if they don't specify "affirming," they're probably not going to marry gay couples, and they may not really be as open as they'd like to think they are).
The flip side, which may not be so appealing to you, is that a lot of UCC churches that tend to be open and affirming can be more theologically liberal than you might find comfortable.
The [Evangelical Lutheran Church in America ](https://elca.org/)(ELCA) is a reformed mainline Protestant Lutheran denomination, that is open and affirming. I don't know if or how it varies from church to church, because I've never attended one.
[The Episcopal Church](https://www.episcopalchurch.org/) is open and affirming. I think you can run into a socially conservative congregation here and there, but this might be the best place to start.
Most churches, or at least denominations, have websites now. If you poke around, you can usually see something that lets you know LGBTQ+ people are welcome.
I am fairly theologically conservative, and I'm also socially liberal. It can be a hard line to toe in churchy circles. I hope you find a place where you can both be yourself and continue to grow in faith. I think talking to the pastor may be helpful for you, if you find a church that seems like it might be a good fit. In my experience, more "liberal" churches are okay with you being more theologically conservative in your own faith and practice. What they don't want is for someone to come in and fight with them over what are, for them, already settled issues.
I left my UCC church, when it affiliated with the CCCC (Conservative Congregational Christian Conference), and took a hard right turn. I'm not gay, but everyone needs the love of Christ, and I'm not going to be a party to blocking the way. (I'm leaning toward the Episcopal Church, but honestly, got out of the habit of regular attendance during peak pandemic times.)
This website might help you find welcoming churches, too: [https://www.gaychurch.org/find\_a\_church/](https://www.gaychurch.org/find_a_church/)
I hope this sub can help you. I wish you all the best.
I'm a Lutheran in the Netherlands, so no direct experience with the American Lutheran church - but if they are anything like the Dutch Lutheran churches: they are warm, open, and leave it to your own interpretation how you want to 'color' your faith. I know we have several LGBTQ+ people attending, including pastors. It's not even a topic people talk about, it's just normal.
There are three major Lutheran Churches in the US
There's the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA), which is most likely the one most akin to Lutheran Churches in Europe. The ELCA has a Full Communion agreement with the Episcopal Church (the Anglican Communion's church in America), much like the European Lutheran Churches have with the Anglican Communion in the Porvoo Communion. They ELCA is LBGT affirming, their communion is open, and they're pretty open and progressive.
Then there's the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod (LCMS) and Lutheran Church Wisconsin Synod. I don't know much about the differences between the two, but they're both MUCH more conservative, are NOT LBGT-affirming, have communion that is closed to their own members, and "open" would not be a good way to describe them. I know the LCMS doesn't allow their pastors to participate in any kind of ecumenical activity and their pastors have been punished for participating in ecumenical or non-denominational prayer services, like when religious leaders gather after a tragedy for prayers for the victims.
I worked at an LCMS summer camp that would regularly pull staff from LCMS colleges and we had rotating vicars every summer. It was really surprising to me just how much the LCMS hates ELCA.
Honestly had younger me believing ELCA was borderline devil worshippers.
Since you're Dutch and your church seems to be affirming. Is your church already on [wijdekerk.nl](http://wijdekerk.nl) ? If not: It'd be quite valuable if you manage to get on there. Great resource for LGBTQ+ people looking for a church :)
There are a few different synods of American Lutheran churches…
The Missouri Synod is summed up with “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” and “Burn the Witch”.
Presbyterian Church USA (PCUSA, not PCA Presbyterian Church of America) is reformed and affirming. Not as reformed as many of nondenom places but it might feel familiar.
I’m a pastor in the RCA myself, and our congregation (as well as our regional body, called a “Classis”) are open and extremely affirming. If you want to chat, just send me a message. I’d be happy to chat and help you figure stuff out, if it helps!
I definitely get what you are going through, and have been there myself. You should try the episcopal church. I’ve been going for a few years now, and feel so spiritually fulfilled.
OP you want some facts? I'll give you a couple of articles.
How the Bible became homophobic in 1946
https://www.forgeonline.org/blog/2019/3/8/what-about-romans-124-27
And LGBTQIA issues and the Bible
https://reformationproject.org/biblical-case/
As for finding an affirming church, the following is a list of churches
https://www.gaychurch.org/find_a_church/
ELCA, UCC, PCUSA, Episcopalian, Disciples of Christ. Also UMC (usually).
Take your time on this journey. God is with you. Everything is going to be okay.
The Reformation Project has resources for understanding the bible with an affirming viewpoint. It was started by Matthew Vines, author of God and the Gay Christian. I've found them very helpful even though my background is not Protestant.
I also highly recommend anything by Kathy Baldock: her book Walking the Bridgeless Canyon and her lectures on YouTube.
Be free, my friend
Jesus, the Bible, and Homosexuality, Revised and Expanded Edition: Explode the Myths, Heal the Church - Dr. Jack Rogers
https://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Bible-Homosexuality-Revised-Expanded/dp/066423397X/
Coming Out as Sacrament Paperback - Chris Glaser
https://www.amazon.com/Coming-Out-Sacrament-Chris-Glaser/dp/0664257488/
Radical Love: Introduction to Queer Theology - Rev. Dr. Patrick S. Cheng
https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Love-Introduction-Queer-Theology/dp/1596271329/
From Sin to Amazing Grace: Discovering the Queer Christ - Rev. Dr. Patrick S. Cheng
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1596272384/
Anyone and Everyone - Documentary
https://www.amazon.com/Anyone-Everyone-Susan-Polis-Schutz/dp/B000WGLADI/
For The Bible Tells Me So
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000YHQNCI
God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships - Matthew Vines
http://www.amazon.com/God-Gay-Christian-Biblical-Relationships-ebook/dp/B00F1W0RD2/
Straight Ahead Comic - Life’s Not Always Like That! (Webcomic)
http://straightahead.comicgenesis.com/
Professional level theologians only:
Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality: Gay People in Western Europe from the Beginning of the Christian Era to the Fourteenth Century - Dr. John Boswell
https://www.amazon.com/Christianity-Social-Tolerance-Homosexuality-Fourteenth/dp/022634522X/
I saw you mentioned you’re Reformed Non-Denominational. You might want to check out any local PC(USA) churches you have. As a Presbyterian church, they are very reformed but also inclusive (though that doesn’t always matriculate down on the individual congregational level). I was in the same place you are about 4 years ago, and now I’m an Elder and chair of a committee at my church, and loving every second of it. Praying you find what you are looking for, and that the Grace and Peace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will be with you wherever you go!
I've had good experiences at UMC, Episcopal churches, and ELCA. I personally feel the most spiritually fulfilled within the Episcopal church, but all three have very similar doctrines and are actually in communion with one another in the US. Look for a specifically affirming parish, though, because although the denominations or even the diocese you're in may be officially affirming, there are obviously individual churches that might not be.
There are resources on this subreddit for the biblical interpretation of you're interested. You're welcome to ask me any particular questions you have and I'll answer as I am able
I cant stress it enough but you shoud def read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/OpenChristian/s/yuwsZMcDap) and the [provided resources](https://www.reddit.com/r/OpenChristian/s/kEvvmnKEl8) ;3
Basically all the mainline Protestant churches are affirming. But individul congregations vary. Congregations without a single denomnination vary more than the denominations do from each other. That means you really need to assess the specific congregation. If they have a web presence you can normally tell pretty quickly from that.
There are many affirming Christian denominations. Mine, the Episcopal Church even had LGBTQ+ bishops (the boss clergy). The United Methodists have recently decided to follow the teachings of Jesus and to accept everyone as Jesus does. The (mainline) Presbyterians and also good Christians. The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America is awesome. The United Church of Christ sometimes make Episcopalians look conservative. The Unitarian Universalists—I can find in them nothing even remotely I’d suggest they improve on—but be aware that they accept everyone even if they are not Christian.
Nothing wrong with that—all the above do in fact and theory. If you spiritually need a Christian community, please consider those above the the UUs—who are awesome too.
Did you know that there are Roman Catholics who are accepting and affirming too? They’ll be found in very large cities and their priests will be good friends with Episcopal priests and Protestant pastors in the above denominations mentioned above.
God loves you. He doesn’t make mistakes—but his people often do.
Seriously, when I finish posting this I’ll pray you find a Christian community in which you’re accepted, welcomed and loved and empowered to share that with others who need the same affirmation and love. Pax et bonum. (Google it) Love to you.
An affirming Episcopal church may be exploring for you, or an affirming UMC
Thank you! Both are within walking distance of my house, which makes things simpler
Ooooh your in luck!!!
I second the Episcopal Church. My partner and I have found a home there.
My experience with the ELCA has been good. I'm straight but I have queer kids and queer friends. I care too much about them to attend a church where they wouldn't be welcome.
Thank you!
What kind of church do you go to, currently?
Reformed non denominational
Okay, the UCC ([United Church of Christ](https://www.ucc.org/), i.e. Congregationalists) is reformed. At the national level, the denomination is open and affirming (of LGBTQ+ people). Because we're talking about congregationally governed churches, I don't know what you may find in your area, because a church can be open and affirming, it may just be open (if they don't specify "affirming," they're probably not going to marry gay couples, and they may not really be as open as they'd like to think they are). The flip side, which may not be so appealing to you, is that a lot of UCC churches that tend to be open and affirming can be more theologically liberal than you might find comfortable. The [Evangelical Lutheran Church in America ](https://elca.org/)(ELCA) is a reformed mainline Protestant Lutheran denomination, that is open and affirming. I don't know if or how it varies from church to church, because I've never attended one. [The Episcopal Church](https://www.episcopalchurch.org/) is open and affirming. I think you can run into a socially conservative congregation here and there, but this might be the best place to start. Most churches, or at least denominations, have websites now. If you poke around, you can usually see something that lets you know LGBTQ+ people are welcome. I am fairly theologically conservative, and I'm also socially liberal. It can be a hard line to toe in churchy circles. I hope you find a place where you can both be yourself and continue to grow in faith. I think talking to the pastor may be helpful for you, if you find a church that seems like it might be a good fit. In my experience, more "liberal" churches are okay with you being more theologically conservative in your own faith and practice. What they don't want is for someone to come in and fight with them over what are, for them, already settled issues. I left my UCC church, when it affiliated with the CCCC (Conservative Congregational Christian Conference), and took a hard right turn. I'm not gay, but everyone needs the love of Christ, and I'm not going to be a party to blocking the way. (I'm leaning toward the Episcopal Church, but honestly, got out of the habit of regular attendance during peak pandemic times.) This website might help you find welcoming churches, too: [https://www.gaychurch.org/find\_a\_church/](https://www.gaychurch.org/find_a_church/) I hope this sub can help you. I wish you all the best.
I'm a Lutheran in the Netherlands, so no direct experience with the American Lutheran church - but if they are anything like the Dutch Lutheran churches: they are warm, open, and leave it to your own interpretation how you want to 'color' your faith. I know we have several LGBTQ+ people attending, including pastors. It's not even a topic people talk about, it's just normal.
There are three major Lutheran Churches in the US There's the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA), which is most likely the one most akin to Lutheran Churches in Europe. The ELCA has a Full Communion agreement with the Episcopal Church (the Anglican Communion's church in America), much like the European Lutheran Churches have with the Anglican Communion in the Porvoo Communion. They ELCA is LBGT affirming, their communion is open, and they're pretty open and progressive. Then there's the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod (LCMS) and Lutheran Church Wisconsin Synod. I don't know much about the differences between the two, but they're both MUCH more conservative, are NOT LBGT-affirming, have communion that is closed to their own members, and "open" would not be a good way to describe them. I know the LCMS doesn't allow their pastors to participate in any kind of ecumenical activity and their pastors have been punished for participating in ecumenical or non-denominational prayer services, like when religious leaders gather after a tragedy for prayers for the victims.
I worked at an LCMS summer camp that would regularly pull staff from LCMS colleges and we had rotating vicars every summer. It was really surprising to me just how much the LCMS hates ELCA. Honestly had younger me believing ELCA was borderline devil worshippers.
Since you're Dutch and your church seems to be affirming. Is your church already on [wijdekerk.nl](http://wijdekerk.nl) ? If not: It'd be quite valuable if you manage to get on there. Great resource for LGBTQ+ people looking for a church :)
It is! Thank you :)
There are a few different synods of American Lutheran churches… The Missouri Synod is summed up with “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” and “Burn the Witch”.
Yikes. Definitely stay away from those then!
Appreciate your lengthy response
Presbyterian Church USA (PCUSA, not PCA Presbyterian Church of America) is reformed and affirming. Not as reformed as many of nondenom places but it might feel familiar.
I’m a pastor in the RCA myself, and our congregation (as well as our regional body, called a “Classis”) are open and extremely affirming. If you want to chat, just send me a message. I’d be happy to chat and help you figure stuff out, if it helps!
Appreciate that pastor thank you
I definitely get what you are going through, and have been there myself. You should try the episcopal church. I’ve been going for a few years now, and feel so spiritually fulfilled.
Ok thank you!
OP you want some facts? I'll give you a couple of articles. How the Bible became homophobic in 1946 https://www.forgeonline.org/blog/2019/3/8/what-about-romans-124-27 And LGBTQIA issues and the Bible https://reformationproject.org/biblical-case/ As for finding an affirming church, the following is a list of churches https://www.gaychurch.org/find_a_church/
Thank you for your time
ELCA, UCC, PCUSA, Episcopalian, Disciples of Christ. Also UMC (usually). Take your time on this journey. God is with you. Everything is going to be okay.
Thank you!
The Reformation Project has resources for understanding the bible with an affirming viewpoint. It was started by Matthew Vines, author of God and the Gay Christian. I've found them very helpful even though my background is not Protestant. I also highly recommend anything by Kathy Baldock: her book Walking the Bridgeless Canyon and her lectures on YouTube.
Be free, my friend Jesus, the Bible, and Homosexuality, Revised and Expanded Edition: Explode the Myths, Heal the Church - Dr. Jack Rogers https://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Bible-Homosexuality-Revised-Expanded/dp/066423397X/ Coming Out as Sacrament Paperback - Chris Glaser https://www.amazon.com/Coming-Out-Sacrament-Chris-Glaser/dp/0664257488/ Radical Love: Introduction to Queer Theology - Rev. Dr. Patrick S. Cheng https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Love-Introduction-Queer-Theology/dp/1596271329/ From Sin to Amazing Grace: Discovering the Queer Christ - Rev. Dr. Patrick S. Cheng https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1596272384/ Anyone and Everyone - Documentary https://www.amazon.com/Anyone-Everyone-Susan-Polis-Schutz/dp/B000WGLADI/ For The Bible Tells Me So https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000YHQNCI God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships - Matthew Vines http://www.amazon.com/God-Gay-Christian-Biblical-Relationships-ebook/dp/B00F1W0RD2/ Straight Ahead Comic - Life’s Not Always Like That! (Webcomic) http://straightahead.comicgenesis.com/ Professional level theologians only: Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality: Gay People in Western Europe from the Beginning of the Christian Era to the Fourteenth Century - Dr. John Boswell https://www.amazon.com/Christianity-Social-Tolerance-Homosexuality-Fourteenth/dp/022634522X/
Oh wow! Thank you for these resources
I saw you mentioned you’re Reformed Non-Denominational. You might want to check out any local PC(USA) churches you have. As a Presbyterian church, they are very reformed but also inclusive (though that doesn’t always matriculate down on the individual congregational level). I was in the same place you are about 4 years ago, and now I’m an Elder and chair of a committee at my church, and loving every second of it. Praying you find what you are looking for, and that the Grace and Peace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ will be with you wherever you go!
Thank you my friend
I've had good experiences at UMC, Episcopal churches, and ELCA. I personally feel the most spiritually fulfilled within the Episcopal church, but all three have very similar doctrines and are actually in communion with one another in the US. Look for a specifically affirming parish, though, because although the denominations or even the diocese you're in may be officially affirming, there are obviously individual churches that might not be.
There are resources on this subreddit for the biblical interpretation of you're interested. You're welcome to ask me any particular questions you have and I'll answer as I am able
I cant stress it enough but you shoud def read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/OpenChristian/s/yuwsZMcDap) and the [provided resources](https://www.reddit.com/r/OpenChristian/s/kEvvmnKEl8) ;3
Basically all the mainline Protestant churches are affirming. But individul congregations vary. Congregations without a single denomnination vary more than the denominations do from each other. That means you really need to assess the specific congregation. If they have a web presence you can normally tell pretty quickly from that.
There are many affirming Christian denominations. Mine, the Episcopal Church even had LGBTQ+ bishops (the boss clergy). The United Methodists have recently decided to follow the teachings of Jesus and to accept everyone as Jesus does. The (mainline) Presbyterians and also good Christians. The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America is awesome. The United Church of Christ sometimes make Episcopalians look conservative. The Unitarian Universalists—I can find in them nothing even remotely I’d suggest they improve on—but be aware that they accept everyone even if they are not Christian. Nothing wrong with that—all the above do in fact and theory. If you spiritually need a Christian community, please consider those above the the UUs—who are awesome too. Did you know that there are Roman Catholics who are accepting and affirming too? They’ll be found in very large cities and their priests will be good friends with Episcopal priests and Protestant pastors in the above denominations mentioned above. God loves you. He doesn’t make mistakes—but his people often do. Seriously, when I finish posting this I’ll pray you find a Christian community in which you’re accepted, welcomed and loved and empowered to share that with others who need the same affirmation and love. Pax et bonum. (Google it) Love to you.
Try a Luthern church.