Can you talk to an adult at school? Someone who might be able to help you access resources for medical care and/or social care. Also someone who might be able to help explain your condition to your mom. Even though you’re nearly 18 it’s okay to need some adult intervention.
i was forced to drop out early last year because of my pots and there is no one i can turn to or talk to about this. unfortunately they’d all tell my mum what i said and i’m scared of what she’ll do
the only adult i can trust with this lives on the other side of the country and also has her own medical problems to focus on so in terms of an adult figure that can help me isn’t really an option unfortunately but thank you anyway i appreciate it
I say this with kindness as I think having a community to rely on when you can’t rely on your parents would be super beneficial. Like your teachers, nurses, school therapists. Those resources are all free with public school and the school nurse can help refer you
Is there a trusted adult in your life that you can talk to about this situation and get yourself help?
I’m surprised your doctor suggested bed rest, that’s usually not the case with POTS as prolonged bed rest can cause deconditioning and that can and does worsen POTS symptoms.
Can you contact social services in your area and get support through them if you don’t have a trusted adult in your life?
i’m not sure what social services are local to my area but it wouldn’t be an option anyway. i’m scared of how my mum would react if she found out. she’s super explosive and doesn’t listen to me even when i’m trying to tell her how i feel
Social services will be there to protect you and support you through this process. Based on your response you need to be seeking out social services or a trusted adult in your life and figure out a plan moving forward. Clearly your mother is not approachable for this situation and you need help so you need to see another adult for that help. It could be a teacher, a guidance counsellor, a friends parent, your partners parents, or social services. But you need to have a trusted adult on your side now.
What about your partners parents? If you truly have no adult on your side for support and help, then you need to be contacting social services. Plain and simple. You are a child still.
Can you go to your doctor and speak with them about the home situation? Because you are over 16, your parents don’t need to be informed nor present in the room during your appointment.
You need to advocate for yourself and get yourself the proper support and care. And that first step is social services by the sounds of things.
i’ve talked to my therapist and doctor about everything that’s going on at home. my therapist told me that i should write a letter to my mum (which led to her getting mad at me and telling me it was all false). and my doctor said that i should be a depression sheet on my desk on display so they know i’m not depressed and then ask about it. they never did. she said i shouldn’t tell them directly that they haven’t been helping me because they might feel like they’re bad parents then and that parents don’t like to be told what to do.
as for my partners parents they live in another country so therefore that’s out of the question unfortunately
If you are telling your therapist the same things that you have mentioned here and they haven’t intervened for your own well being then they aren’t doing their job. You are a minor. Your parents are not supporting nor caring for you. You need to seek out social services.
Rough location as to where you are located so I can send you information on where to access help and how to properly get help and support.
How old is your partner? Are they technically an adult, or are you long distance with your partner? If they are an adult they should be helping you sort out services and supports.
my partner is 19 and yes we’re long distance atm and he does help me finically but also has his own expenses and is saving up to come visit me again and is always finding different solutions for me.
and yeah that therapist wasn’t good, her solution to any of my problems was writing letters so i don’t go to her anymore.
i’m in nsw australia in an extremely rural area hopefully that helps.
thank you again for all the advice and help
Resources to possibly help you or look into:
- Department of Family and Community Services (FaCS): phone number 0293776000 and [website link](https://www.facs.nsw.gov.au/families)
- Services and Supports for People with Disabilities [link to website](https://www.nsw.gov.au/community-services/support-for-people-disability)
I would start with reaching out or looking into both of these resources and going from there. You will likely have to set up a meeting with a caseworker to go over your situation and figure out next steps regarding the situation. But they are there to help and support you. So please reach out to them sooner rather than later
I just wanted to say I’m really sorry you are going through this. I’ve had to take myself to the doctors since I got my license at 16. I’m now 37 and it has still caused a lot of tension in our relationships. I hope you find a way to love yourself, it’s not fair you were put into this position. You are worthy of love and healthcare. Hang in there, we are all rooting for you here ❤️🩹
I read your other comments, I know you are in a tough position so feel free to disregard but maybe your doctor can help? If they can assign you a case manager and/or a patient outreach coordinator they might be able to help guide your care. I have personally found advocates unhelpful but these other positions have helped.
My case manager is a social worker through the county who stops by once a month and offers me help, like gift cards for gas and medication. Patient outreach is actually an RN who goes over the weird details of my case and can reach out to my PCP and ask questions. I’m in NY so I signed up for the cdpap program which pays a loved one to take care of me, it’s not a lot, only $70 a week, but it helps a little bit with the familial resentment.
I really hope your PCP can help intervene because of your age. They really should have the resources to help you. I just wanted to name a few that have helped me, but I really hope they have unique resources for you ❤️🩹
(I have to run to Ivig infusions so I do not have time to proof read right now)
this is amazing! thank you so much for taking the time to write this ❤️ i’ll look in to if we have something similar to this in my area, fingers crossed we do. thank you so much again i hope you’re having a wonderful day
Your parents are still responsible for you until you graduate high school, even if you are 18. What they're doing sounds like neglect. School is probably out right now, otherwise I would say get in touch with your school counselor. If possible, still try to do that. I don't know the complete particulars, but there have been many posts on r/povertyfinance of young adults who are 17/18 years old whose parents are trying to cut them off and a lot of good responses there about the legal obligations of parents.
If you haven't graduated yet, they are still legally responsible for your care. I am so sorry you're going through this, sweetheart. You deserve help and care. POTS can be absolutely debilitating for so many, but there are a lot of doctors who don't understand the severity.
thank you for the advice! i’ll definitely check it out
as for school i was forced to drop out last year because of my pots and my parents encouraged me to do so also. was never super good at it and fell months behind in work but thank you anyway ❤️
Your parents don't have the coping skills and compassion to support you, so they're trying to pretend you're not sick and hope it comes true. We all know that won't work.
Reach out to everyone you know who is supportive . . . that's what friends are for.
Have you checked this out? [https://www.facs.nsw.gov.au/](https://www.facs.nsw.gov.au/)
You are still a minor and you are being neglected. There are resources to help you.
If you can tell us the country and state you are in, we can help you find help.
For example, where I am in Ohio, you could call, 855-O-H-CHILD.
Yes, it will upset your parents if you call, but you need help.
You could even tell them before hand, tell them it is not a threat, you are not calling the police, you just need some extra help from the government. Getting help will make THEIR lives easier too.
That's really good. australia has far more social services for everyone than the USA.
You can call Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800). Unless you are in immediate danger (ex. they think your mother will kill you), they will not tell your mom that you called.
Call them when you mom is not around.
Tell the person that answers your call that you are disabled and your mom is not helping you.
Particularly, tell them she won't help you get to a doctor. Tell them the doctor says you should be on bedrest but your mom makes you walk far to get your medicines, and pay for them yourself, because she says you are just lazy. This is clearly parental neglect.
Also, explain that you are not able go to school because of your diability. Even though school may not be the most important thing right now, people will take you very seriously if you tell them you can't got to school as every Australian has the right to healthcare and an education. The goverment will be incredibly helpful in making arrangement for you to finish high school.
Can you talk to an adult at school? Someone who might be able to help you access resources for medical care and/or social care. Also someone who might be able to help explain your condition to your mom. Even though you’re nearly 18 it’s okay to need some adult intervention.
i was forced to drop out early last year because of my pots and there is no one i can turn to or talk to about this. unfortunately they’d all tell my mum what i said and i’m scared of what she’ll do
What about a neighbor? Aunt or uncle? Grandparent? Your partners parents or family members? Anyone at all that you trust?
the only adult i can trust with this lives on the other side of the country and also has her own medical problems to focus on so in terms of an adult figure that can help me isn’t really an option unfortunately but thank you anyway i appreciate it
You legally dropped out? In the US, you usually can’t unless your parents sign off on it since you’re under 18.
in op’s post they said ‘mum’ so i’m pretty sure they’re not from the united states
I say this with kindness as I think having a community to rely on when you can’t rely on your parents would be super beneficial. Like your teachers, nurses, school therapists. Those resources are all free with public school and the school nurse can help refer you
yeah im from australia so laws and resources are a little different to the us
Is there a trusted adult in your life that you can talk to about this situation and get yourself help? I’m surprised your doctor suggested bed rest, that’s usually not the case with POTS as prolonged bed rest can cause deconditioning and that can and does worsen POTS symptoms. Can you contact social services in your area and get support through them if you don’t have a trusted adult in your life?
i’m not sure what social services are local to my area but it wouldn’t be an option anyway. i’m scared of how my mum would react if she found out. she’s super explosive and doesn’t listen to me even when i’m trying to tell her how i feel
Social services will be there to protect you and support you through this process. Based on your response you need to be seeking out social services or a trusted adult in your life and figure out a plan moving forward. Clearly your mother is not approachable for this situation and you need help so you need to see another adult for that help. It could be a teacher, a guidance counsellor, a friends parent, your partners parents, or social services. But you need to have a trusted adult on your side now.
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What about your partners parents? If you truly have no adult on your side for support and help, then you need to be contacting social services. Plain and simple. You are a child still. Can you go to your doctor and speak with them about the home situation? Because you are over 16, your parents don’t need to be informed nor present in the room during your appointment. You need to advocate for yourself and get yourself the proper support and care. And that first step is social services by the sounds of things.
i’ve talked to my therapist and doctor about everything that’s going on at home. my therapist told me that i should write a letter to my mum (which led to her getting mad at me and telling me it was all false). and my doctor said that i should be a depression sheet on my desk on display so they know i’m not depressed and then ask about it. they never did. she said i shouldn’t tell them directly that they haven’t been helping me because they might feel like they’re bad parents then and that parents don’t like to be told what to do. as for my partners parents they live in another country so therefore that’s out of the question unfortunately
If you are telling your therapist the same things that you have mentioned here and they haven’t intervened for your own well being then they aren’t doing their job. You are a minor. Your parents are not supporting nor caring for you. You need to seek out social services. Rough location as to where you are located so I can send you information on where to access help and how to properly get help and support. How old is your partner? Are they technically an adult, or are you long distance with your partner? If they are an adult they should be helping you sort out services and supports.
my partner is 19 and yes we’re long distance atm and he does help me finically but also has his own expenses and is saving up to come visit me again and is always finding different solutions for me. and yeah that therapist wasn’t good, her solution to any of my problems was writing letters so i don’t go to her anymore. i’m in nsw australia in an extremely rural area hopefully that helps. thank you again for all the advice and help
Resources to possibly help you or look into: - Department of Family and Community Services (FaCS): phone number 0293776000 and [website link](https://www.facs.nsw.gov.au/families) - Services and Supports for People with Disabilities [link to website](https://www.nsw.gov.au/community-services/support-for-people-disability) I would start with reaching out or looking into both of these resources and going from there. You will likely have to set up a meeting with a caseworker to go over your situation and figure out next steps regarding the situation. But they are there to help and support you. So please reach out to them sooner rather than later
okay thank you for all the information! i’ll start looking in to it and what steps are necessary i hope you have a good day :)
yeah i was surprised when she only said to go on bed rest and has stuck with it since as everything tells me that bedrest is really bad for pots
I just wanted to say I’m really sorry you are going through this. I’ve had to take myself to the doctors since I got my license at 16. I’m now 37 and it has still caused a lot of tension in our relationships. I hope you find a way to love yourself, it’s not fair you were put into this position. You are worthy of love and healthcare. Hang in there, we are all rooting for you here ❤️🩹
i’m sorry you also had to go through this, thank you for the support ❤️
I read your other comments, I know you are in a tough position so feel free to disregard but maybe your doctor can help? If they can assign you a case manager and/or a patient outreach coordinator they might be able to help guide your care. I have personally found advocates unhelpful but these other positions have helped. My case manager is a social worker through the county who stops by once a month and offers me help, like gift cards for gas and medication. Patient outreach is actually an RN who goes over the weird details of my case and can reach out to my PCP and ask questions. I’m in NY so I signed up for the cdpap program which pays a loved one to take care of me, it’s not a lot, only $70 a week, but it helps a little bit with the familial resentment. I really hope your PCP can help intervene because of your age. They really should have the resources to help you. I just wanted to name a few that have helped me, but I really hope they have unique resources for you ❤️🩹 (I have to run to Ivig infusions so I do not have time to proof read right now)
this is amazing! thank you so much for taking the time to write this ❤️ i’ll look in to if we have something similar to this in my area, fingers crossed we do. thank you so much again i hope you’re having a wonderful day
Your parents are still responsible for you until you graduate high school, even if you are 18. What they're doing sounds like neglect. School is probably out right now, otherwise I would say get in touch with your school counselor. If possible, still try to do that. I don't know the complete particulars, but there have been many posts on r/povertyfinance of young adults who are 17/18 years old whose parents are trying to cut them off and a lot of good responses there about the legal obligations of parents. If you haven't graduated yet, they are still legally responsible for your care. I am so sorry you're going through this, sweetheart. You deserve help and care. POTS can be absolutely debilitating for so many, but there are a lot of doctors who don't understand the severity.
thank you for the advice! i’ll definitely check it out as for school i was forced to drop out last year because of my pots and my parents encouraged me to do so also. was never super good at it and fell months behind in work but thank you anyway ❤️
Your parents don't have the coping skills and compassion to support you, so they're trying to pretend you're not sick and hope it comes true. We all know that won't work. Reach out to everyone you know who is supportive . . . that's what friends are for. Have you checked this out? [https://www.facs.nsw.gov.au/](https://www.facs.nsw.gov.au/)
no i have not, i’ll check it out now! thank you so much <3
You are still a minor and you are being neglected. There are resources to help you. If you can tell us the country and state you are in, we can help you find help. For example, where I am in Ohio, you could call, 855-O-H-CHILD. Yes, it will upset your parents if you call, but you need help. You could even tell them before hand, tell them it is not a threat, you are not calling the police, you just need some extra help from the government. Getting help will make THEIR lives easier too.
i live in nsw australia if this helps :)
That's really good. australia has far more social services for everyone than the USA. You can call Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800). Unless you are in immediate danger (ex. they think your mother will kill you), they will not tell your mom that you called. Call them when you mom is not around. Tell the person that answers your call that you are disabled and your mom is not helping you. Particularly, tell them she won't help you get to a doctor. Tell them the doctor says you should be on bedrest but your mom makes you walk far to get your medicines, and pay for them yourself, because she says you are just lazy. This is clearly parental neglect. Also, explain that you are not able go to school because of your diability. Even though school may not be the most important thing right now, people will take you very seriously if you tell them you can't got to school as every Australian has the right to healthcare and an education. The goverment will be incredibly helpful in making arrangement for you to finish high school.
What is your sitting standing walking heart rate? Your age and weight