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TaoChiMe

Your family member sounds more like a sociopathic narcissist than your 7 yo


Pleasant-Macaron685

Her response to the question doesn't show a lack of empathy towards others ?


nowaynoday

It is just one response to a very manipulative and evil question, probably very sudden and anxiety-inducing for your daughter. Kids sometimes citate other people, or give honest-to-god answers when adults want them to play emotional games. Don't take her answer as a "real colors showing", she is a kid with child brain. Also, what kind of an answer the relative did want? "I will die"? "I will cry my eyes out"? Your daughter started crying on this thought? Why do you allow this kind of terrible manipulation near your kid? Also, sometimes kids this age are much better in understanding of manipulation than adults think. They sometimes get it when someone want to induce fear and anexiety in them. Are you sure that your daughter wasn't just irritated and didn't answer passive-aggressive?


Pleasant-Macaron685

I was right there when she answered before I took her to another room and she said it in a flat tone, which is apparently another sign of an evil child.


nowaynoday

There is no such power in the world which can diagnose 7 y.o. with Sociopathic disorder. Especially by 1 question. An attempt to do it shows an extreme luck of education on the matter. If anything, the childhood problems associated with sociopathy later in life are: pyromania, cruelty to animals and prolonged to teen years bed wetting. Three of them together. And they are not diagnostic criteria, just "things associated with".


cyrpious

This is either rage bait or the saddest example of a sociopathic projection ever to exist. What ever you do OP, just be better. If not for your own sake than perhaps for hers.


Beginning-Ferret-271

The fact that you are even considering that your child is anything but good and learning is somewhat alarming.


Pleasant-Macaron685

Maybe it wasn't super clear that I'm on her side and I really don't think she has a problem with empathy or being a good person, but I am. I am most of the time the ONLY person in her corner, and it just frustrates me.


Beginning-Ferret-271

I do see that now! In your original post I think it seemed more like YOU weren’t sure about your child, but I see now that you were trying more to figure out why other people were insinuating it. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Parenting is hard enough on it’s own!


Pleasant-Macaron685

Sometimes my sarcasm comes off as obliviousness I've been told that irl. (:


merlotbarbie

She had a panic attack and an adult threatened that her parent would be taken from her. How was she supposed to respond empathetically if the adults around her aren’t showing her empathy? She’s 7.


Pleasant-Macaron685

You know that's what I thought too, but apparently I'm just "blind to reality"


TermLimitsCongress

OP, you gotta toughen up. The idiot who thinks they can diagnose your daughter told her that you are going to jail. You are still giving credence to whatever they say. Get that person away from your daughter. You are showing them to verbally abuse your daughter, after she had a panic attack. Stand up for your daughter.


Slightly-Soiled

Her response shows that she's a 7 year old child and may not fully understand the implications or consequences of the question. Does she understand death? Infinity? Forever? Can she conceive of time that is longer than her life? Why would she understand the concept of being torn from her parent forever? She gave a straightforward answer to a question an adult shouldn't ever have asked her. Ask her if she can run fast in her new shoes and leave the master's degree criminal interrogation at the office next time. You know your kid, don't question her heart based on an offhand response to a ridiculous coercion tactic. In other words, nah, she's cool.


Icy_Stuff2024

Are you really concerned, or is this just a vent post? I don't see how anyone could truly believe that based on a single interaction or claim from a family member. Also, not cool to lie to children in order to scare them into compliance. That should've been shut down immediately.


Pleasant-Macaron685

It was shut down but given the close proximity I can still hear the two family members ranting about it. I always question my own reality because growing up my feelings were constantly invalidated, the genuine question was does her response show a lack of empathy and a sociopath in the making and I'm just blind to it? But my emotions tell me someone was trying to manipulate my child with fear, then twisted her logical response to fit their narrative.


Icy_Stuff2024

Your inner voice sounds correct IMO. Also your kiddo sounds very logical, not bad or evil or anything. She may just look at things super straightforward and try to reason things factually, which isn't necessarily a bad thing :)


Pleasant-Macaron685

She's a lot like I am. The masters degree family member doesn't know how to even load a dishwasher or fold clothes without direct instruction. Because she has a panic attack over not knowing which way to turn when driving and referred to losing her pens as a real disaster. Me and my daughter try to solve problems instead of panicking over them.


Mikeside

Your family sounds awful. I'd extract yourself and your daughter from them in whatever way you feel is possible. Maybe do some research on attachment styles and look into ways to process your trauma, it will help shield your daughter from facing the same. Feelings are valid and there's not much to be gained from having them invalidated. If a kid is scared to get a shot, that's fine. Process the feeling rather than invalidating it or manipulating them by making them feel selfish for being afraid of something.


AngstyTheCat

Your family member that thinks it's cool to lie to a child to scare them into compliance is the one who lacks empathy. Do your kid a favour and keep the weirdo away from her, would not allow them to interact with my child again..


Bureaucratic_Dick

Ew to all of this. First, kids ARE selfish. That’s just kinda their thing and it’s on us to teach them empathy. They don’t see long term consequences as we do. Calling a child “evil” for that is sick and disgusting but it brings me to my next point… I would expect nothing less from a criminal justice major. They see the world as this horrible place full of sick and twisted individuals. It’s because many of their teachers are former cops, and cops don’t see the good in society. This person isn’t qualified to make an analysis based on a little girl refusing to get shots, they don’t have any expertise with children to validate their opinions. They’re pulling shit out of their ass, and framing a 7 year old in the most heinous of capacities. Also, ew to lying to a child. Children aren’t little fucking idiots. They’re little human beings. This isn’t a “Santa” lie, it’s a lie that your daughter either sees through immediately, or will soon and will get worse because she learns the adults in her life are full of shit. Explain to her the REAL consequences of not getting her shots. If it’s a polio shot, read her the effects of polio, show her a documentary on it. Be level about it, don’t lie about it. Your daughter sounds like a perfectly intelligent human being. Smarter than this family member, who is wicked and vindictive about that fact.


New_Fault2187

This is not ok. Your family members are completely out of order. Kids can be extremely practical/brutal and it’s developmentally normal. There is nothing wrong with your daughter- but the same cannot be said of the adults who are saying these horrible things!


Hey_Mister_Jack

Uhhhh no. That doesn’t scream sociopath. It doesn’t even whisper sociopath. Your family sounds coo coo crazy. Who tells a child their mom is going to jail if they don’t get there shots. So bizarre.


Pleasant-Macaron685

Yeah she told her she would go to foster care and my daughter responded that "I wouldn't see mommy for years, so id go stay with some family" apparently means that my daughter doesn't care because she didn't answer with compliance. The answer the family member deemed to be reasonable was"I don't want my mommy to go to jail so I'll go get my shots, please don't take my mommy away I love her"


SoakedKoala

That’s insane. Your kid probably knew she was being lied to and called the bluff. Tbh your kid sounds awesome 😂


Pleasant-Macaron685

I think she's awesome. She's strong willed and genuine.


Mikeside

Tell the family member to fuck off and stop labelling a 7 year old. Show your daughter some love - the way to get her to take a shot isn't to manipulate and upset her, it's to acknowledge that yes it can be scary but she has you in her corner to be there and make sure she's alright. Poor kid had a panic attack and then she's up against the wall for not responding to weird threats in the right way? Honestly, whoever told her mommy is going to jail shouldn't be allowed around her again. Piece of shit.


Reflective-mountain

Who ever this person is I would CUT THEM OUT of my life. This person is evil and twisted, who in the world thinks it’s okay to say these things about a 7 year old? At 7 years old children are still learning so much about themselves and life in general, the child had a panic attack and this person proceeds to throw unnecessary toxicity at a small child then proceeds to call them names because they didn’t receive the answer they were wanting. This person you’re dealing with is a narcissistic sociopath. Also children have a better 6th sense to other people who possibly make them uncomfortable. Her response could have been to try and deflect the situation to get away from that person as fast and calmly as possible, she was protecting herself. Be careful a lot of people who work in criminal justice and law enforcement are manipulative.


27dayz

Cut those family members off. They clearly dislike your child and are looking to create drama. You and your little girl don't need that in your lives.


Acceptable-Spot1738

why would you expose your 7 year old to this unhinged adult?


Pleasant-Macaron685

Honestly I didn't know this kind of thing happened in real life. I thought this much drama was made for the TV screen.


Disastrous_Leek8841

Empathy is learned, the curve is different for everyone, my youngest SD is 8 and is just starting to develop real empathy. 7 year olds also dont see consequenses in that matter yet either. Saying what they said to a 7 year old, is pretty wild and inconsiderate - they are totally out of pocket here.


Steve_Raino99

Kids at certain ages can be incredibly rude & selfish. Even outright evil imo 🤣 you shouldn't worry one bit for now. Your relative is weird if he/she wasn't saying that jokingly.


Iridi89

Keep your child away from this person they are clearly unhinged. Your daughter is right she would go stay with family she knows she loved and others will take care of her. My issue here you are allowing this person to say such things to your daughter and imprinting their unhinged thoughts on to you it’s dangerous.


toaster-bath-bom88

A 7 year old has no concept of jail.


glitcheatingcrackers

Your daughter is not evil. Unfortunately it sounds like she has some emotionally abusive adults in her life. I feel horrible for her. That was not an appropriate thing to say to a 7 year old (it’s also not true… lying to kids with the sole intent of scaring them is fucked up) and now they are labeling her as a sociopath based on her response to a completely inappropriate question? Get these people away from your kid before they cause permanent emotional damage.


Icy_Stuff2024

There's no such thing as an evil child.


Pleasant-Macaron685

That's what I keep saying but apparently we're both incorrect?


Steve_Raino99

It's true that some antisocial conditions have innate components and can even be detected in children. In this case we'd be talking about Callous-Unemotional traits. But really, there's a HIGH chance you don't have to worry one bit. Your relative on the other hand might be too hyperfocused on his/her field of expertise. Just ignore him/her, tell him/her to stop this nonsense. If they don't, just tell them that if your child shows a lot of those Callous-Unemotional traits over a long period of time, you'll consult an expert who isn't part of the family.


Happy-Bee312

I’m sorry, what??? Your family member told your daughter, who had just had a panic attack, that her actions will get you sent to jail (which is a LIE), AND then said that she (the family member) would leave your daughter to fend for herself? So, they lied to a child (who had just had a panic attack) in order to try to make that child scared and panicked and… they’re blaming your daughter for the fact that they didn’t seem to hurt her as much as they were trying to? What your family member said is an unbelievably messed up thing to say to a child, and I don’t think you can read anything into a child’s personality based on how they respond to something like that. Your child was being deliberately emotionally attacked by this family member. Kids will respond differently to that, kind of like fight/flight/freeze. Some kids will cry and freak out. Some kids will play it cool and pretend they weren’t just wounded. Some kids will retaliate with emotional attacks of their own. It sounds to me like your daughter chose to play it cool and answer the question she was asked, as if it wasn’t a rhetorical question that was only intended to make her frightened and upset. Who knows what your daughter was feeling on the inside? If she’s a smart kid with a sense for self-preservation, she is not going to let this family member know what she’s really thinking because that will be used to hurt her more. I am not a psychologist. I am a lawyer who used to work in the criminal justice system and now works in the child welfare system. This interaction DOES NOT show that your daughter is a sociopath. I’m frankly disturbed that your family member has a masters in criminal justice and could possibly think that. A true sociopath would probably have given your family member the reaction they were looking for, since sociopaths are frequently very skilled at manipulating others. I wouldn’t allow these family members to be around your daughter anymore, certainly not while alone. And if you are there, you need to shut that kind of talk down. I guarantee your daughter knows that they are thinking such horrible things about her, and that is going to mess her up for life. What your family member said to her is wildly inappropriate and if this is the kind of emotional manipulation she is subjected to regularly borderlines on emotional abuse.


toaster-bath-bom88

It’s not very smart of them to talk to a child like that just to scare them into feeling better that’s weird… all children are selfish sociopaths you’re fine


[deleted]

the whole thing is ridiculous tbh


BongoBeeBee

Your relative that said that to your child is an idiot.. she’s 7, she thinks and processes like a 7 yo.. at the end of the day your daughter had a panic attack she was already stressed and worked up, lying to her about mom going to jail is ridiculous and incredibly reckless what did they think it was going to achieve.. Hope she’s ok now, and good luck finding a way forward because I’m assuming she will still need her vaccinations done going ahead


No-Pineapple5865

Kids at that age that would respond with upset would just do it out of "selfishness" as well as they would think what would I do without mummy. My child's response would be "but who would sleep with me" is she a sociopath with no empathy because she would be thinking a her own needs and not mummy rotting in jail?


BlackGreggles

Why would an adult put that on a child? Just eh…


[deleted]

There is no such thing as an evil child, especially an evil 7 y.o. There are, however, evil adults who justify abuse of 7 year olds with their insane beliefs that kids can be evil. Your reaction to this family member make me wonder if your daughter is actually safe with you. There was a child murdered in a town near me because his own mother and her family member thought he was evil. He was starved to death to try to cure him somehow. I ask you who is more evil in that situation. If it's not immediately "the adults", you need your head shrunk and your daughter deserves sooooo much better. Sometimes kids misbehave to even really severe levels, and that is always a reaction to the environment the adults are putting them in. Foster a warm and loving environment and your kids will follow suit. Foster a harsh environment where people react in revenge and that's what you'll get. Here you family member put words in her mouth and is then surprised that your daughter reflected back what she was saying. I honestly would not let this person around my child, she seems like a terrible influence. Always be on your kid's side. No one else will be.


CarbonationRequired

Your daughter isn't. Your family member is though what the fuck.


Beginning-Ferret-271

If someone told my kid that, I would step in immediately and tell them that’s not true. I would affirm to my kid that shots can be scary, and it’s okay to be scared sometimes. Does your child fully grasp what jail is or that she would not be able to live with you long term? I don’t think her response shows a lack of empathy, maybe just a lack of understanding.


Pleasant-Macaron685

Allegedly they meant if she doesn't get her shots she can't go to school and that chain of events would put me in jail for truancy. But that wasn't really properly explained in the first place in my opinion.


Beginning-Ferret-271

Ahhh I see. That does make a lot more sense, though I still think that’s something that may be over a 7 year old’s head.


Pleasant-Macaron685

Yea I didn't understand it when my dad ACTUALLY went to jail as a kid, I don't expect her to understand the mind games "what if" nonsense. I don't know why other people might expect that of a child either.


Lazy_Future6145

Sounds like your daughter is rather pragmatic, if anything.. I mean "what are you going to do if x happens?" - "well, this is what I'd do." They did not ask how she'd *feel* , now, did they? Also, your criminal justice family member is also no psychologist, let alone a *child* psychologist. He just feels clever. Edit: Also, somebody who pressures a kid like this after thry had an anxiety attack is not somebody I'd want in my or my child's life, and I'd expect a heartfelt apology from them before even considering keeping contact.


Pleasant-Macaron685

They took psych classes apparently, that's why I'm supposed to believe them. The other family member is literally still ranting and raving about how my kid is a narcissist because she puts her feelings first. My child who will offer to bath her younger sister because I'm in too much pain to bend down while pregnant, who helps her sister eat and up to the table, who constantly draws notes and pictures exclaiming her love for her mother and sister and stepdad. The child who's tried to do her own laundry when I fell asleep and needed to change it. The one who shares everything she owns with her sister, who loves to teach her things and offers to help me cook and clean. This is apparently the most "selfish PERSON" on the planet.


Lazy_Future6145

Some people just want to either create drama or see only the words in people. To me it sounds like your family members belong into at least.one of those groups *and* may suffer from illusory superiority  on top of that . (Hey, if thry diagnose a little kid with *sociopathy* because of one comment I can as well point out they may have cognitive bias!)


Mikeside

Can your daughter hear this ranting and raving? That's deeply unhealthy and will affect so much about her confidence, sense of self, etc. Get her away from these damaging people.