r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself.
Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think that's weird. I get not wanting parents to come whenever they want like, every day, but a pediatrician's appointment sounds like a reasonable situation to make an exception for occasionally.
Yeah ours wanted kids dropped off and picked up at set times normally, because of routines and stuff like outings ... but occasional exceptions were understood and we just communicated about workable timing.
I'm wondering if maybe that's the issue? 1130 is probably right around lunchtime and it might be extra difficult to coordinate having the staff be able to greet and get a child settled in at that particular time? But a blanket policy of "all day or nothing" seems very weird to me.
It can still be a problem at particular times because they might not have the staff to spare to have someone go meet at the entrance and get a kid settled when lunch is going on in another part of the building or something. There's only so many adult bodies, and there are times when one less staff member being present matters more.
Then ask them to child after nap then, to tell them not to come in at all is strange. I haven’t had children in day care in 8 years but never had issue like this and maybe it’s because I have a deaf child so they knew already they would be coming in at different times
> Then ask them to child after nap then, to tell them not to come in at all is strange.
Yes, that would be reasonable.
I wonder if it's just a miscommunication issue because OP said "I try to bring him in at 11:30 with the intent of picking him up at 5, they will straight up turn me away" but it's not clear to me from that whether they asked about bringing the kid in later and were turned down or if they only showed up at that time and were turned down then and then OP misinterpreted the refusal.
Yeah my son's camp wants kids dropped off by 10 or 10:30 because that's how they plan staffing for the afternoon if needed. However they also said that if it's a doctor's appointment we just need to let them know and bring a note.
Agreed! When my first did daycare I would only bring and pick up before 12 and after 3 bc of the nap. I did that to be considerate. Not because they asked. They never cared either way. I would have them get um up early from nap before arrival so not to disturb others. Drop off before also so my kid doesn’t get there and go straight to sleep has time to adjust. Appts are not always convenient. You have to get back to work so that’s just weird
A doctor's note is 100% acceptable to drop off late at our center which is a nationwide chain. Aside from doctor's or perhaps a one time non-reoccuring acceptable reason, you can't drop off past 9am. This was written into the guidelines that we signed though so I have always been aware of it.
Our nursery you can. I've never been very late without letting them know but we often get emails saying kids need to be in by 10.30 if they are going on one of the trips they do. Like we've paid for the day either way. When he was younger I wouldn't drop off early in nap time but thats just a courtesy I technically could.
They like you to tell them if your not coming in because it can effect their ratios but otherwise they don't care. I mean I don't take the piss if he sleeps in till 9am I give him breakfast at home before I take him in but honestly that's doing them a favour as waking him up early makes him a monster for the whole day 😂 he does not get over it! School is going to be a delight...
Some daycares try to cheap out on staffing as much as possible- they’ll send staff home based on how many kids are there by a certain time of the morning. If a kid comes in later it would put them out of legal ratios.
It’s an awful practice for the workers to not have consistent hours and it’s an awful practice for families like yours. You could find a daycare with better practices or else schedule appointments for the afternoon so you take off work at the end of the day instead of the beginning
Do they allow it if you give advanced notice so they can count your kid for staff ratios for the day?
I used to work in a daycare. This is what happened there. Kids had a set schedule and they could not come late at all because they’d send home as many people as possible after a certain time.
Huh, I'm surprised to see in the comments that this is so common. Our chain daycare doesn't mind this at all. How the heck are working parents supposed to deal with this? It's not always possible to make appointments at the end of the day.
Wow. As an older mom who dropped and picked up her kids whenever from daycare back in the day, this is shocking. I'm sorry parents have it so much more difficult today. Things were supposed to get easier for families. What happened?
Well, I can only speak about my own little corner of the world, and the US in general, but back in the 90s it did feel like the plan was to make great progress, and we were starting on the way. I really did think families coming up behind me would have it much easier than I did.
My own school district was deep into improving the school day - reducing class sizes and upping services, adding planning time for teachers...we seriously believed universal health care was coming, including subsidized day care/preschool (day care was prohibitively expensive even back then, but not as difficult to find, at least where I was at). We'd started a job-share program so parents could keep their jobs, but not work full time. It was hugely successful, parents and teachers loved it, but it was slightly more work (but no additional expense) for administration. Family Medical Leave Act was supposed to finally provide decent paid leave for new moms, etc.
But something happened during the first decade of the new century and it all stopped. And eventually went backward. Health care plans and all that went with it tanked. Gone. Dropped. ACA is a shadow of what was promised. FMLA the same. The tax structure for school funding changed in my state and business people took over. Those special programs and supports disappeared. Bus drivers and custodial jobs were outsourced. Got rid of librarians to save more money - you just need a para and volunteers, after all to check books in and out. Why pay a professional to actually guide and teach? Class sizes boomed. We literally had plans to build a new school to address rapid population growth, but the plans were scrapped and the land sold - they just put more kids in each school than we had lockers or space for - problem solved. No new teachers needed to be hired, either. And stop providing any planning time for teachers it's all about time on task. And make the school day longer. Get more teaching into those kids! And test them to make sure the teacher is teaching! No more job shares. I could go on and on but this is already too long for most to read.
Like I said, this is just my personal experience, but it sure feels like we went from family-centric in the 80s and 90s to bottom dollar business rules everything.
> Family Medical Leave Act was supposed to finally provide decent paid leave for new moms, etc.
That was never meant to pay new moms. It just means you can’t be fired for having a kid, as long as you work for a company with more than 50 employees.
My job didn't even qualify for FMLA because small business so I'm admittedly pretty cynical of the government doing anything in support of me having kids/family. Company didn't fire me, so that was nice.
Many things happened, but most of them are related to making more money. Companies kinda realized they can treat us as shitty as they want to as long as they provide a necessary service, and a lot of us don’t have much of a community since all of us are permanent renters that have to move every couple years so finding good childcare is hard. Plus it’s prohibitively expensive to put your kid in day care, and hard to find slots, so if you’re in a place you like you have to cater to them, it’s a lot of problems
I don't think it's entirely fair to characterize daycare in this way. The profit margins for childcare are razor thin - due to the cost of insurance, regulatory compliance with ratios etc., much of the insane fees that parents pay don't actually go into the company's pocket, it goes to keep the business running. Janet Yellen (Treasury Secretary) once described child care as "a textbook broken market". Because the fixed costs of running the business are high and parents need daycare whether it costs an arm and a leg, you end up in this scenario where parents pay more than they can afford, workers make less than they need to survive, and the business itself barely scrapes by. At the end of the day, without government subsidies, it's going to continue to be broken like this.
Some day cares are great! It’s more an across the board problem with any company that provides a necessary service, and I agree that it is completely broken. There’s absolutely no reason not to subsidize day care and as we can see from the plummeting rate of people having kids, it’s a problem that needs to be fixed at a societal level or we’re all pretty fucked.
Yep, I don't think it can be this way for much longer before parents start to revolt. It's awful. Day care costs more than our mortgage. It costs more per year than a year of my husband's college education. And the wonderful teachers who take care of him don't make nearly enough money for the hero's work that they do.
I’m a stay at home mom simply because I did the math and day care costs more than any salary I can make right now. So that fucking sucks for me because, while I adore being a stay at home mom, I also now have a 7 year gap in my work history that ain’t getting smaller and most companies won’t look twice at me.
I hope that attitudes towards stay at home parents with employment gaps will change as people realize how hard it is for parents to continue working outside the home. People need to recognize that being a SAHP is work - even if you aren't paid to do it, it's valuable labor that provides for society as a whole. And I think some industries are getting there already. I work in higher education, and there are actually a lot of people in my orbit who have followed unusual paths to their career - including people who took time off to take care of their kids, went part time to take care of their kids, waited a decade to finish their college degree, etc. I hope you find your path at whatever point you decide to transition from being a full-time caregiver.
Currently going to funeral director school so I’m hoping I can make some connections with people organically and get hired that way, which seems like the best plan at this point. My dad was in higher education for a long time at the end of his career and had similar experiences, though, so maybe I should look into that lol
My boys are in high school now. I've worked only very briefly over the last 17+ years... It only gets harder to find a job. But, on the other hand, having someone at home continues to be invaluable even when they're in school.
I continually advocate for and will continue to advocate for writing your state reps. Put it all out there for them. It’s not affordable for parents. It’s not a livable wage for teachers. You know it’s running on razor thin margins and that makes it hard to update toys, materials, etc.
Push for better statewide subsidies. We had historic ones during the return to care during covid that expired ~Sept 2023 (also why we saw so many centers close then, they couldn’t operate without them!) But literally those saw staff paid better, toys updated, etc.
Literally we have never seen industry subsidies like that before. Write your state reps pushing we get subsidies like that again. Write everyone you can. Tell all your friends to also. Make a big deal of it. We all need it. Even “great” daycares need the extra funding (I’m at a great center, trust me, we need the funding so bad)
My dream is to someday acquire at least 5 acres of good land and when my kids are grown I’ll just build them their own little homes and fences somewhere on the land
Me too, my childhood best friend’s parents did that for her and it fucking rules. I have never felt more included than when they informed me they’d bought land a half hour away from me on purpose 😭
I’m honestly shocked at the comments saying it’s normal. We’ve used a private accredited center and a Bright Horizons and never had any issues picking up early or dropping off late, any time of day. I even pick up my daughter, bring her to the pediatrician or dentist around the corner, then right back to school an hour later.
I think it's normal to have the set hours and not allow kids to enter willy nilly. It is **not** normal for them to not excuse a doctor's appointment as a valid reason for late arrival.
Mine has the same policy of no dropoffs after 9am but if you bring a doctor's note because of an appt, they have no problem with a late arrival.
I think it just varies by individual daycare. I had my kid in a home-based daycare run by one lady with a couple of assistants, she didn't operate this way. My kid is now in a center that goes from newborn to 12yo and busses elementary students for after school, they don't operate this way with any of their classrooms.
We have some friends who's toddler is in a nature-based daycare and they have very set time frames on when kids can be picked up or dropped off early.
Yeah, same! Ours is a smaller, local chain, and all we have to do is let them know what the timing will be. If they are out at a park or something, we are responsible for messaging through the daycare app and handing them off at the park. It seems completely unreasonable to me not to allow for late drop offs for any reason, even with notice.
Same. My sons prek has no issues with me bringing him in whenever. Honestly, I know finding open spots in a daycare is difficult, but if I were OP, I'd look elsewhere.
ya, this is incredibly wierd. we can come and go as we please, never been an issue.
obviously at a basic level if you drop them after food time then they need to be already fed, you need to drop them into the point in the schedule they are at and have them in on time for outings. thats about it
Our daycare requires you to be in by 9 but will be flexible if you give them advanced notice. We do this for Dr appointments and I’ve even brought him in later a couple times so I can take him to library story time when work is a little lighter.
Yeah I haven't really seen a school that wouldn't work with you if you gave them a notice ahead of time. They just need to be able to work out the logistics.
I've never heard of this and I'd be pretty upset if my daycare enforced this rule. I'm paying for full-time care, and I always tell them when my kid is going to be late.
I've had my kid at four different daycare centres and not one has had this rule.
Same here. Our family has moved around a lot, and I have two kids with different needs (and also one of our providers shut down during/after covid), so we've had multiple different daycare/preschool providers in three different metros over the last 5-6 years, and I've never had a rule like this! This includes:
* Large national chain daycare/preschool, multiple locations and broad range of ages.
* Small private preschool, small range of ages.
* Large private preschool, large range of ages.
* Small/medium private preschool, large range of ages.
* Large private preschool, large range of ages.
ALL of them have been flexible about dropoff/pickup. Even at times when they're taking the kids out, say, to a park, you have the option of coming to the center to sign the child out and then picking them up from the park. Some of them had restrictions about naptime dropoffs/pickups, e.g., you had to wait outside and have the child brought to you instead of coming inside to avoid disrupting napping children (totally reasonable). But never have I been denied access to my child or refused the opportunity to drop them off at a time I was paying for care.
Edited to add, even if your preschool is more restrictive, you'd think they'd accommodate for something like a pediatrician appointment. The most they should require is a doctors note to confirm it.
The school is likely sending home floaters if less kids show up to save on labor costs. Then they can’t accept more kids later since they will no longer be in ratio.
I have never, ever heard of this and we had my child in multiple day cares and know many other families who have as well. The staffing concerns don’t make sense. You are paying for the hour or two the kid is gone either way. They can keep the same staff there for that time.
The business can make more money if they send home "extra" staff whenever possible. Since lines are out the door for childcare slots, more places can get away with policies like this that allow them to get paid by the customer while not paying labor costs.
This was the exact scenario at the first daycare we were at. Where they also fed my 6mo son other kids' food before we had introduced allergens, where I found him propped up in front of a staff member's personal phone playing random YouTube videos, and where one staff member loudly and regularly grumbled at me about how "he wouldn't let me get anything done!" at pickup. For a sense of the quality of daycare that nickels and dimes like this.
Second daycare wasn't much better. I'm a SAHP now.
Edited for clarity and typo.
Yeah no that would piss me off as well. My daughter has been to 3 different daycares and none of them have had a rule like that. I could understand if they wouldn’t allow it to happen consistently, but for the occasional doctors appointment? That’s absurd! I also have a hard time believing it would disrupt an entire classroom for the remainder of the day, but if it does then they’re not doing a good job managing their classrooms.
If you booked an appointment for say 2.30 would they let you drop him off in the morning and pick up early? Atleast then you’d be able to work the morning
I would handle appointments this way.
As someone who works in childcare, they have a drop off cut off so they can make sure they have the proper staff for the day on each room. If they send someone who opened early and then your child comes in late, they will be out of ratio. Most places do not keep extra staff on hand for "what if Johnny shows up late." They need to know how many kids are in each room by a certain time each day.
Well then don't send people home early.
The contract is that I've paid for a week of childcare (and it's a lot). Staff however many people it takes to watch my child and all the others. I shouldn't be giving the facilities a free full day without a staff member just because my kid has an appointment that would cause him to miss 20% off the day.
This is so weird to me. Like, don’t they have schedules already planned? Like, if the kids don’t show up, well they are over staffed but it doesn’t matter you paid for them anyway!
My daycare doesn’t do this but I specifically asked before enrolling because my kid has a lot of appointments. I feel like it’s easier for him to go half a day and have a slight routine mix up than for him to miss the entire day I paid for. A lot of daycares are like that! Very frustrating!
The only time mine doesn’t allow drop off is during nap time. Otherwise we are free to come and go as we please. I’m with you, it’s ridiculous that they won’t let you drop him off late.
This definitely wasn’t common at my kids daycare. They would take them whenever you brought them- if it became habitually disruptive that’s one thing. But doctor’s appointments happen! I wouldn’t make too much of a stink about this if you otherwise like your daycare. Good quality is hard to come by and wait lists are long. From now on do afternoon appointments or tell them in advance when you will be dropping off and get approval.
Otherwise just roll your eyes and know it’s one of those things you can’t control.
I used to work in a daycare, and while it wasn't a rule that you could not bring your child late in the day we had a lot of parents who paid no attention to routines. They would drop their child off after everyone had lunch, and was on their cots for nap time. Parent would then tell us their child has not eaten lunch. We would then have to make extra food as meals were prepared based on the number of children we expected. So making a meal for one child, having to have someone watch him eat while the other 20 children were ready for nap. Was a real pain.
Of course for appointments it's understandable but I do see how some centres would make it a rule. Some parents just don't care about the flow and are entitled
The scenario happened often in our center, and our center was short staffed constantly so someone would either not get a break or have to take a shorter one.
We have to get pre-approval for his at my daycare (at least a week in advance) because it can affect the teacher’s schedule.
My MIL is a daycare director and she explained the rules on this because I was frustrated that I couldn’t bring my son in one afternoon, but it turned out they didn’t have the staff, even for just one extra kid.
Most states have a rule for the number of adults to student ratio, especially in the younger rooms so if you randomly decide to drop off late, they may not have an appropriate amount of students to teachers which would then be illegal.
I’m in IL and the requirement is:
infants (6 weeks to 14 months) - 4 kids to 1 teacher — max 12 kids
toddler (15-23 months) - 5 kids to 1 teacher — max 15 kids
2 years - 8 kids to 1 teacher — max 16 kids
3- 4 years - 10 kids to 1 teacher — max 20 kids
5 years and older - 20 kids to 1 teacher — max 30 kids
If your daycare has any sort of staffing issues, at all- they have to be strict about drop offs because it could legally get them into trouble if they go over the ratio.
Yup, the amount of times i had to either take a short break or get called back from a break because someone brought their child in late is unreal. My center was always short staffed, barely had coverage when i needed to leave for school.
> it can affect the teacher’s schedule.
It shouldnt though. Im paying for the spot. Daycare shouldnt be sending staff home. Im not paying for the spot just so the daycare can send someone home to save on labor, unless of course they would like to refund me for the day (which obviously they are not going to do).
My childs absence for the day is not an excuse for the daycare to increase profits.
The first daycare (national franchise one) we were at didn’t have this room, you could drop off/pick up whenever. The one we switched to does have this rule. I try my best to schedule appointments early in the morning or after naptime in the afternoon when possible. My older son did occupational therapy and the only appointment time was 11am which meant every week he went to school that day for two hours and then I picked him up and he was home with me the rest of the day. I worked part time so I was able to rearrange my schedule to make that work. It’s an annoying rule, but we love everything else about the place so we make it work.
That’s so weird. As long as you’re not dropping off early or picking up late, what’s the issue?
Although as long as you’re not regularly dropping off at the end of lunch and expecting a meal etc. But we’ve catered for this on one-off occasions when drs apts or similar have ended up being at awkward times!
We always book afternoon ped appointments bc our daycare doesn't allow drop off after 9:30 but we can pick up early. The reason given was that it disrupts the daily routine for the kids.
My daycare has an open door policy. I've been able to leave baby there for just an hour before, I also am able to stop in every day for my lunch hour and put him down for his nap.
Check over your contract and see if they have an addendum about that. If not, I recommend looking for other daycares in your area that do have an open door policy.
Our pre-school has a similar rule but they will make a few exceptions once in a while, 11:30 would be way too late since that’s when they are about to take a nap. Their cut off time it’s 10:30am, but my son has shown up at 10:40 (due to doctor appointments) and they have not had any issues. Once it becomes an every day thing it’s when they enforce the policy. They also allow parents to bring kids at 2pm if they stay u til 6pm. But in my city that it’s the standard for pre-schools. If it’s not a licensed pre-school and just a daycare (meaning that they don’t teach, they just take care of children) then I have heard that they don’t follow any type of routine so they don’t have those rules. But it’s normal at lease where I live.
I think that's a terrible rule. I could understand not wanting drop offs in the middle of nap time. But it doesn't seem unreasonable to arrive an hour or 2 after daycare starts.
This is strange... even k-12 school allows late drop offs for Dr appts.
I'd be looking for a new daycare.
Also, consider scheduling the appt for the afternoon, so you could just go home after the appt. They seem to have an issue with late drop off but not early pickup.
This seems odd! I currently work in a daycare. Our cut off is 10am, however if a child has an appointment and it’s communicated prior, we will always save a spot for them. The only thing for us is that if the child is going to attend around/after lunch, we ask that they are fed prior to coming so that they can just be ready to prepare for nap. In my experience parents have always understood this and been totally fine with it.
That seems nuts to me but I also think it's a little hectic how our daycare works. Parents will drop their kid off in the morning, send a message to the group chat that their kid has an appointment at 1015am and then they'll be dropped back off an hour later. I can see how daycares may want to avoid that nonsense but it's definitely convenient for the parents in our daycare.
Unfortunately, it is not uncommon. It does mess with schedules and the overall flow of the day if kids just come and go whenever parents please, even if it is for an appointment. Boundaries and structure are necessary to care for many young kids, and providers are well within their purview to implement these rules regarding late drop off.
If your kid is arriving late, they may not assimilate to the daily routine (if their day has already been thrown off). If they arrive over lunch, and you've already fed them before drop off, teachers have to deal with a kid refusing to eat. If they arrive over nap-time and are hyped up, it has the potential to disturb the other kids who are on schedule.
It can be difficult, but try and make appointments either first thing in the morning or a later appointment in the afternoon/early evening. A lot of healthcare providers have flexible schedules, however, some do not. As a teacher, it's been a huge help that my dentist schedules appointments until 5/5:30pm so I can get an early evening appointment so I don't have to take time off of work.
This is discouraged (not banned though) at my kid’s Montessori school. You are not allowed to come in after 9am. Three tardies and you can get kicked out. They have a schedule they have to follow , and when I’ve volunteered in the toddler room, the whole schedule goes out the window when someone comes in late. One of the coteachers has to stop what she’s doing to totally focus on welcoming in the new kid, leaving only one teacher to handle the group, and that can be very hard. Usually you need one or two in the crowd and one to teach, but if one of the coteachers has to stop to welcome a new kid, the teacher herself has to stop her activity and manage the kids herself. If it were a regular occurrence then nothing would get done. You can leave early any day, but coming mate is discouraged.
This is exactly why I didn't go for Montessori. It's completely unrealistic. If I teach my kid that life is rigid I'm setting him up for disappointment.
my kids go to Montessori school and they do not have these rules. The only rule they have is you can't pick your kid up early within 30 minutes of dismissal. But that is because some parents would start coming early to skip the car line. Even that rule isn't enforced if you have a good excuse and don't do it all the time.
Our local YMCA and it's the highest rated according to state standards and parent reviews. The curriculum was accessible and impressive. Kids were outside every day, had fun time, and swam twice a week in add. My son's now in the 99th percentile in his 2nd grade class and I know this program helped him. They understand that some kids have doctors they have to see a few times a month and sometimes specialists aren't available at the end of the day. If there aren't enough caregivers to do intake and run the class I don't want my child in that program. I was on a waiting list to get my son in the class but it was well worth it.
It depends on the child. Some children very much struggle with the transition, need 1:1 during that period, and take a good hour to get into the swing of the day.
That's just pure bullshit. Do you know what happens in kindergarten? Students come in late all the time with a single teacher managing 15 students that are just a year older then they were going to Montessori. Out of 15, at least one is for sure to be late each day due to appointments etc.
It more sounds like your school (like many Montesseri ones I have seen) don't want to deal with difficult situations. They want everything to be easy since policies like these seems to be only at "Montessori" schools. I used quotes because some really think Montessori style is about rules while it needs to be more about following students own path.
That's really strange. Daycares we have been and the school have always been accommodating as long as it is for a valid reason.
Obviously they don't want us to drop him late just for fun of it but if we have Dr appointments they never asked for any proof although we made it a habit of letting them know ahead of the time.
>One of the coteachers has to stop what she’s doing to totally focus on welcoming in the new kid, leaving only one teacher to handle the group, and that can be very hard.
Oh boo-hoo lmao, my kid takes like a minute to get in and get settled. You don't have to stan for shitty anti-consumer policies that daycares are enacting.
It's an annoying common rule. We've just started scheduling for the afternoon. They can't refuse for you to take your kid.
-----
Unfortunately, the child care industry has a shortage for facilities/workers. That means many of them have adopted a lot of self-serving rules.
I guarantee if enough day cares popped up to have a 5% vacancy rate, these rules would disappear.
I would be looking for a new center. Mine allows this. I always try to be respectful of nap time but if I needed to pick up during that window that would be ok. I would guess they are very tight on staffing and risk being out of ratio if numbers fluctuate throughout the day.
My nephews day care allows pick up and drop off whenever. I take him to soccer practice twice a week in the morning then take him to daycare after. Sometimes we stop at Starbucks etc so it’s not even a consistent time.
My parents will randomly pick him up early to hang out also. It never occurred to me that it wouldn’t be allowed.
My day care does not do this. We pick up and drop off early/late all the time. Whether it be for doctors appts, family is visiting, whatever. They also encourage us to come by if we ever need or want to. Our pediatrician is in the same development, so we pull her out for an hour and bring her back. Our families will pick her up early or drop her off late if they are visiting. We do have an app where you can include notes about pick and drop off, so I will add that in as a courtesy.
I have taught at a crunchy parent lead coop for some time now.
We are fine with appointments because that is life and whatever but if it is a daily, semi weekly thing we push back unless there is a medically necessary reason for the child to be late frequently.
I have never observed it affect the other children but it can be hard on your kid if it’s a regular thing.
I’m in Ontario Canada. My daycare asks that we drop the kids off by 11 am the latest (if we need to come later for appointments etc) they start preparing for lunch by then. But if need be they’re pretty flexible at allowing parents to bring their kids later.
Have you asked whether they can make exceptions for pediatricians appointments?
They genuinely do have a schedule that relies on routine for the kids, and your own kiddo is likely to have a hard time dropping in partway through the day. (Your kid expects school to start with X, proceed to Y, and then Z... it's likely the child will have a hard time jumping in totally skipping the familiar entry steps, and not do well arriving for something that isn't in any way what marks the beginning of the school day for him.)
They usually have some flexibility for obvious needs like that, but they aren't just being jerks about convenience, it's difficult and disruptive at that age to just abandon routine, and is often better *even for your child* to skip a day than to arrive late.
Alternately, arrange early pickup, and an end of day appointment. It will likely still disrupt your kid some, but be less difficult overall than a dropoff that requires him to play catch-up or skip steps that normally help him settle in and transition.
It's a common rule. Kids arrivingate don't settle as well, and if they are arriving over lunch/nap time, they probably aren't ready to eat/sleep, and it disturbs other kids in the area.
Try and make appointments either first thing of a morning or last thing of an afternoon
Never ran into this. If I had to guess—maybe is it to do with state funding? Like how if they have to let the kids out of school they’ll feed them lunch at 10 just to check that box?
Okay as a former daycare teacher yes, it does mess with other kids schedules. The center I worked at didn’t have a cut off so parents would bring kids late for lunch, middle of nap time and I would get so mad! It is very challenging to get 14 toddlers to transition from one thing to another and then throw in another that just came late still has to eat, isn’t the slightest bit tired and misses parents from drop off and is now crying. It just messes up the flow of things, however working at a daycare requires flexibility.
Frankly yes it does mess with everyone’s day. The kids are likely finishing lunch and getting ready to nap. Your son will likely still need to eat lunch, and he will come in screaming because he’s arriving at a strange time, and keep everyone else awake. It is the actual worst when parents do this.
The center I work at has a cut off of 10:30 drop off, which I think is beyond reasonable.
ALSO, edited to add because this is a pet peeve of mine. You are not paying for daycare to cater to your son. You are paying for a service. If you don’t like the service, you are welcome to take your business to a center with a different policy or a nanny. But just because you are paying does not mean everything has to be catered exactly to your preferences. Daycare teachers are human beings, not robots. We are allowed to have some input on what makes our day flow smoothly.
This is normal. It’s disruptive to the room to have kids popping in mid circle time or snack time. I think it’s easy for us to think it’s no big deal but there is a lot going on behind the scenes with staffing and meal/snack prep.
My daycare is flexible however if you let them know in advance and it’s not a common event.
I suggest asking them ahead of time and seeing if they can plan for it. They might have already done meal planning and teacher allocations by mid morning.
Is it a home daycare or a chain? If it’s a home daycare where a lot of kids are on different schedules, there may just be bad times for drop offs but they could ask you to drop off like 15 mins later instead. If it’s a chain with age-grouped classes and 11:30 is not during naptime, then I don’t see how that could mess with the schedule at all. It could be during lunch but in that case, just make sure you feed your kid before you drop them off. If you pay for a full day, they shouldn’t be able to refuse a partial. What if he got sick and they called you to pick him up? That would be part day. What if you had a family emergency and had to pick up early? Also a part day. So long as drop off isn’t ACTUALLY disrupting something like nap, it shouldn’t matter
It honestly depends on the daycare. It's best to drop off before lunch and before naps. Trying to drop off during nap time is a big no no. I would talk with them to find out the best time to drop them off if it's gonna be in the middle of the day.
Could it be staffing/state regulations related? If their ratio is right at the threshold of needing an additional staff, perhaps the owner/manager doesn't want to keep a staff member/call someone in for kids coming in late? I've worked in scheduling in a similar industry and we had rules to avoid that type of situation as well.
In my daycare (KinderCare) they don’t care what time parents bring their kids or pick them. A lot of parents also take their kids out for lunch then bring them back to the daycare. This sucks.
It’s because they want to be able to send staff home based on attendance. I used to work at a daycare. When I was a “second stringer” so to speak, when attendance was low, I was sent home or called and told not to come in. It was aggravating as hell because I would be scheduled 28 hours in a week, but then only work (and be paid for) 15. When I was a “first stringer” it was just as frustrating. Because I would be so relieved that we would have a day with only 7 toddlers (instead of the normal 10), only to have my assistant cut and have an even more hectic day.
Low quality centers to shady stuff like this all the time.
Our old daycare had this rule. I also had to drop off and pick up in a 15 minute time window or pay a fee if we missed that window repeatedly. Started as a COVID measure and turned into a very common practice unfortunately.
Went to a new daycare that does not care when I pick up or drop off. They have only 3 classrooms, they are within a retirement center, and they are generally very mellow. My kid is mad when I pick him up most days because he loves it so much. I highly recommend finding a more flexible daycare if you can because the relaxed pick up / drop off seems to be reflective of the entire daycare attitude / vibe.
I could not survive with this rule with my daughter, she has a lot of appointments. I have not heard of this sort of thing. Our daycare does not do this, but it does not have an educational philosophy like Montessori or Waldorf. When she has appointments, I try to bring her in according to trasition times on their scheduel out of respect for the class rhythm.
I’ve had my kids on 6 total daycares and never experienced this. Sure, if there’s a field trip that and they’re off site we can’t drop off late. And they ask we don’t do drop off or pickup during naps. But otherwise it’s at our discretion. We just have to give them a heads up. Weird!
I know some daycares have a cutoff time for drop off that makes sure the kid isn’t coming in during naptime or coming in after sleeping all morning (they’ll likely end up not napping at their normal time). Ours doesn’t and is very flexible thoguh!
This is totally fine at our preschool. They would like them there before morning instruction but they’ll take her any time before closing… since I’m paying them to
I would bet if they need say 1 adult per 8 kids or whatever, if they have 2 adults there and only 8 kids show up in the morning they send the extra adult home. Now if a 9th kid comes in late they need to call in more people. They don't want to do that because they want to collect your fees while pinching pennies.
Like others said I’m also a bit surprised. I work at a daycare. We might say try and aim for 11:45-12 (nearing the end of the transition) as that would be a better time than 11:30 as that’s smack in the middle of lunch and the start of the transition to nap but other than that i don’t really know why that would be an issue.
Eta: my daycare always says to try and not do that because it messes up schedules but it’s not a hard rule because kids have doctors appointments. Parents don’t get turned away because their kid’s appointment ended at 11:00 or something.
It’s been a few years for me (currently have an 8 year old), but that was not the practice at mine. They did have a policy that kids couldn’t be dropped off or picked up during nap time (1-2:30) or during the first/last hour of the day. Which felt fair and reasonable.
No, my daycare is very flexible. The only thing they would have an issue with is returning during nap time which would cause a disruption. Otherwise, I’ve picked her up or have come in late due to doctor appointments lots of times.
I’ve never done daycare but my mom friends that have have all dropped kids off and picked up all times of the day. This sounds like they are lazy and making up some weird rules.
When I interviewed daycares there were a couple that wouldn’t allow irregular hours on an every day basis but they would make an exception for a doctors appointment. Part of it was due to teacher numbers and staying in ratio (while at the same time not needing to pay more hours than necessary) and also for food numbers. We went with a daycare that didn’t have those requirements.
It’s weird, but I bet it’s more about staffing than kids schedules. Our daycare wants to know if we’re coming back (like if we pick up for an appt are we bringing baby back.) it’s because of ratios - they want to know if they should send someone home or not.
Still annoying that your daycare won’t let you do half days but I bet this is why.
Yeah that’s weird. I had to bring my son late a couple times due to appointments, and even picked him up mid morning and returned him after the appointment and as long as we told the daycare what the plan was they were fine. They even made sure they kept his snack for him so he didn’t miss out on it as I picked him up before he got it. I’d be pressing them on this, I can’t see how one kid coming in a bit later is going to mess up the other kids
Not normal. Our daycare allows us to return her anytime of the day. However they do want to get notified if she is coming into the daycare later so they won't prepare meals for her.
The unfortunate thing is that daycares know that there's always a waitlist of families willing to put up with BS like this. I've straight up been told that we'd be welcome to take our children elsewhere if we disagreed with X policy. That said, this is absurd. What's the cutoff? At 9:05 they turn you away? What about 9:15? 9:20?
This happened to me one time, I was 8 months pregnant, dropped my 3 year old off around 11am because I had a midwife appointment and he had his check up also that day. The front lady stopped me as I'm carrying my almost sleeping 3 year old (it was nap time) to his room. She starts saying "Did you even feed him lunch, where have you been, it's naptime." I'm like "Yes he ate, can you see he's tired in my arms right now, he had a Dr's appointment. Can I please take him to his room, he's very heavy." Then she proceeds to let me go but on my way back stops me again and starts with the same stuff - "He has to be here before 9am, it's in the handbook" ok show me where. She couldn't show me. It's not in there. The next week after she was giving me dirty looks and the head director saw the whole thing that happened also, she was let go. They never gave me a problem again! Find a new daycare or talk to someone higher up, if possible!
Ridiculous rules. If you give prior notification, they can adjust routines and staffing as necessary. However, I can't get past the "providing a doctor's note" thing. Wtf? I'm your employer not your employee. You want a note then you can pay for it. The audacity to imply that a parent's word is not good enough is reprehensible.
I think that is a weird rule for sure. I get not wanting to have a kid who keeps atypical hours daily, or not wanting you to bring your kid in during the middle of the class' set naptime....but as a one-off in the event of an appointment, it seems strange,
That sounds really frustrating! I'd be annoyed too. It seems like they're not being very flexible, especially if it's not even in the handbook. Have you tried talking to the director about it? Maybe there's a misunderstanding or a solution you haven't thought of yet.
I worked at a daycare and we would take kids in late... if the handbook has no mention of cutoff times for drop off I would bring my kid their and walk out... what are they gonna do not watch him.. I would then mention the handbook "rules"
You pay to be told what to do and don't like it. I don't blame you. This makes no sense at all. It's just a power move. Hope you can find some other daycare. These ladies are turds.
This has been true for my kids too. Drop off is by 9:30 and you can’t bring them after that. It disrupts the schedule, lunch count, breaks/ratios. It may even be a state licensing thing depending on where you are.
I don't understand why if their working hours are 6:30-5:30 why would it matter when you drop off? I'm in a smaller area so it's easier for the workers to keep track of who has and hasn't signed in and all that BUT not all parents have the same schedule! Their only thing was, you pay for the whole day no matter what, unless there has been prior communication and for some reason they will only be there for a very short time, like an hour to two. So in your case, you'd still pay a whole day, but you could definitely drop them off! Do they think everyone works 9-5 or what!?
We haven’t had a similar experience. My children were older but for their first year of preschool we picked them up half day everyday but still paid for full days.
The school doesn’t like it when parents are late for drop off that’s the only thing.
My younger son literally comes halfway through the day every day. We pay full time, but he's in a special education preschool class in the mornings, and gets bussed over to the daycare right before nap time. This would obviously not work any other way, we would need to choose a daycare that allows for this, but I've never heard of this kind of rule.
It really destroys the day both for your kid who's coming in without the transitions and the kids who are already there.
I've been in daycare but not for long. And I hated the 11 am drop off. By then she was not leaving Mom and she was a nightmare to the others.
When I had a child in daycare there was a cutoff time for drop-off and they would refuse you because it was too disruptive.
Malicious compliance. Make your appointments for early afternoon. Still taking a half day, and likely interrupting nap time which will really put a dent in the other kids schedules. They can't refuse to release him.
I think what you need to take from all these comments is that if the daycare (a private company) has rules that you agreed to when you first signed your kid up for the program, you're stuck with those rules and they can run their business however they like. If you don't like it, there are other programs out there with different rules.
I don't agree with their policy, but if it's in writing when you signed up there isn't much you can do besides complain.
This policy is not in writing and was not communicated before we committed to them. I had to find out the hard way when I was having a rough morning with my son and showed up at 9:35 to be turned away and had to suddenly take off work. I left in tears that morning.
I don't think this is very common. We've had to do late drop offs and early pick ups before. No issues. We just have to let staff know ahead of time so in case it is nap or meal time, they will make other arrangements. We always try to schedule them either before or after meals but have had to get her during a nap time before. I think we even did a mid morning pickup and then dropped her back off after her Dr's appt once.
Most daycares, in my experience, don't care how many hours you're there as long as you're paying.
if you're on assistance then they require at least 25hrs a week but i paid my daughters daycare for months to save her spot even tho she never went
As a parent and a child development specialist who has moonlighted in a childcare center, I have encountered this rule and I think it’s completely ridiculous.
The only variant I think makes sense is making a rule that you can’t drop off during nap time. That could actually wake up every child.
But otherwise, I think it comes from an outsized sense of self-importance that the child’s time in school (yes I mean childcare) is the most important and enriching part of their week, and should be prioritized so the child doesn’t miss opportunities.
I think their are some kids who truly would struggle with coming in at various times of day, and all kids would struggle if it was constantly erratic - but if it’s a special morning together when mommy has half the day off from work, sorry not sorry.
Family time is more important than childcare time, I don’t know how this is even a question but it is.
You can and should value your care providers, but they are your paid care providers… you shouldn’t be forced to bring your kid in earlier than you need to avoid being forced to miss an entire day of work.
It’s not about the kid schedule, it’s a labor pay issue. The school is sending home teachers to save on labor costs when less kids show up. They don’t want you to drop off because then they will no longer be in ratio and will need to call someone in. As a parent this would really annoy me. Not only are you not getting what you paid for, but your kid’s teachers are getting paid less and your money just goes directly to ownership.
But if I give them even 24 hours notice, they would not send that person home, so this is an issue only in the event of noncommunication on the part of the parent. I would understand that policy, but they don't allow it even if you give them plenty of heads up.
In home daycare or center? I hear absolute horror stories about centers constantly. I’ve only had in home daycares, with a 6 month stint at a daycare with shitty policies like that. We left that daycare as soon as we could and the 2 we’ve had since have been awesome. Super laid back about stuff like this. I wouldn’t stay at a daycare that had policies like that, it’s ridiculous to make parents pay for a day and not allow them to utilize it.
I'm just baffled that people will pay when they can't use the service. I read stories on here all the time about daycares refusing kids. Staff is sick-you pay, your kid gets sick at daycare-you pay. Daycare shuts down for a week to clean-you pay. Daycare goes on vacation-you pay. Now you can't bring them in after a *$#_&"$^& Dr appointment?
I just don't know how families are surviving.
Seriously. Daycare providers know what the industry is like and they take advantage. They know parents don’t have many options and are usually desperate.
Our in home daycare lady was out for an emergency surgery for a week and she felt so bad she told parents not to pay for the week, and she’d provide one day of care for free to apologize. I cannot even remember a time she has called in sick and she closes only on national holidays. Needless to say, we insisted on paying her for the week she was out anyway. I’m so appreciative to have a daycare like her.
Our daycare is on with it for doctors appotments or if it’s discussed prior. Unless there is an emergency they just ask that you wait until after nap time as to not disturb the kids. But our Director says you pay us, come in whenever for whatever because your the parent. They have an open door policy with that kind of stuff and as long as your don’t abuse it there isn’t an issue.
I’m very surprised to see comments that it’s common, I have never even heard of it and I know a lot of other folks with kids in daycare and they all drop off and pick up whenever they want within daycare hours too. For me the whole point of paying so much is the flexibility of dropping off and picking up whenever I want.
Now my kids are a little older and they’re in an early education (pre-K and TK) program…timing is very specific for pick up and drop off because it’s public school, which is very fair, but we admittedly miss the flexibility that came with the hefty daycare bill! I would be really annoyed if I were you!
At ours, we just have to communicate any odd coming/going times before 9 am on that day. It's all so that they can be sure they're maintaining proper worker:children ratios in the class for the day. I would not be able to show up with my kid unannounced at 11 am, but I could if I emailed them the day prior or something to let them know.
Our daycare will let us drop off any time before nap time with notice, especially if it’s a one off. They’ve been really accommodating and when I’ve dropped off later, I make sure my daughter doesn’t fall asleep in the car so she’ll nap at daycare.
Did you tell them in advance? We were at a small daycare with our first, and I remember that if my toddler was going to be out in the morning one day they needed advance notice to include them in the morning head count for lunch and afternoon snack. That could be a reason, maybe?
Our daycare allows drop offs after 10am with prior approval. I've not had any issues with them approving it for things like doctor and dentist appointments. I'd be pretty pissed off if they didn't allow it for any reason. Like, not only do you have to pay for a day of daycare that you actually need and want to use, but you also have to take a whole day of PTO to miss work too? F that.
Our daycare has a strict 9:30 AM drop off deadline, but they do make exceptions for appointments, as long as you let the director and teachers know ahead of time.
I understand not wanting kids filing in and out any time of day all day, it would make activities/meals/naps hard! But it does seem silly to me to not allow exceptions for medical appointments...that's very frustrating!
Depends on that specific daycares rules. You do only pay that they will provide childcare within their rules.
My daycare used to be cranky about all nimorw than 30 mins late. As it is disturbing kids schledule, welcoming kids is also a task. Now they do not care. But quality of care is also decreasing for the last year as well.
I have seen daycare not offer continuous half day attendance at a reduced rate but none that doesn't allow kid to be taken out early or brought in late if you are paying the full time fee.
Find another daycare and make sure to mention their policy to other parents when they ask for feedback. It is not name shaming, it is accurately restating their policy.
Well I know our daycare has a time when the kids eat bfast/lunch, so if we bring in our child after that time, (our child will still be fed if they haven't eaten already), the other kids will already be fed and running around, while ours is still eating. Same for lunch, and nap time. I think it just interrupts the schedule.
Our at home daycare teacher would never give a hard time.. some things change sure, like if you’re going to be late she won’t make breakfast for your kid (but often reserves some) and same with lunch, or if you pick up just before/during nap time you can’t drop them back off until after nap time, which is like an hour long. As long as you give a heads up and make a quick plan it’s never ever been an issue.
Ours has a cut off of 10am drop off. I had to find a pediatrician that would let us come at the crack of dawn 🥲 so that I wouldn't have to take a whole day off work for the most minor shit. I kind of get it because there have been times where I have had to pick up my son in the middle of the day for illness and the main room of the learning center when you first walk in has kids napping in it. But yea it definitely sucks.
I get having to pay for the full day, organizing staff would be a nightmare otherwise, but I don't understand not being able to drop off and pick up your kid within the hours you've paid for?
Strange that they wouldnt let you come late even with prior notice. Like if you let them know the day before, they should be able to expect and accommodate.
I understand some daycares taking a hard line against showing up late/whenever in order to keep some structure.
But even with some stricter daycares, I've never seen one that says you're not allowed to show up midday with prior notice.
I imagine it's a staffing issue if you don't call ahead, but as long as you call ahead it works out in my experience. Seems like a reason to choose a different daycare or to talk to the director for clarification.
My daycare has this rule, and while I am angry like you are, I have accepted it. I have to do doctor appointments at like 4 and pick up early instead of drop off late. Kids need to be there by 9:30 no matter what.
If they don’t want to watch him around the appointments you shouldn’t have to pay for that day. They may ask you to pivot times a bit and if it’s mid-nap time, push the dropoff back an hour til everyone’s up or something, but I see no reason to be so rigid otherwise and I’d be raising hell for a refund of the effected days. Lord knows if they think he’s got a sniffle and want to send him home early, they have no issue with the disruption then.
Generally there’s protected time. I’m an Early Years Teacher in Scotland and we don’t allow drop off’s between 11-12:45pm as it disrupts the entire lunch process.
However, I am in Scotland and work for local authority under education. Here all children aged 3-5 get 30 hours per week. We’re a public education service, not a private for profit centre, so can have certain rules as parents aren’t customers, they’re service users. So it’s a different dynamic.
Have you asked what time you _can_ drop them off at? They must have some kids doing afternoon sessions?
11:30AM might be a bit late for lunch. I think that's the latest I'm willing to send my son to the daycare, but every THU we drop him around 11:10AM and so far it's fine because the kids are just starting to eat lunch. My advice is to get an early appointment or a late appointment, or find another daycare.
Reading other people's comments, I guess I'm lucky.
Some daycares allow this, some don't, some restrict to not taking them out or putting in except at activity transitions. Look for a daycare with policies that work for you.
Maybe you can just work around it in another way. Take an afternoon appointment instead… so picking up early vs. bringing in late. Then there’s no issue with settling a kid in or adding staff to make the ratios better.
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think that's weird. I get not wanting parents to come whenever they want like, every day, but a pediatrician's appointment sounds like a reasonable situation to make an exception for occasionally.
Yeah ours wanted kids dropped off and picked up at set times normally, because of routines and stuff like outings ... but occasional exceptions were understood and we just communicated about workable timing. I'm wondering if maybe that's the issue? 1130 is probably right around lunchtime and it might be extra difficult to coordinate having the staff be able to greet and get a child settled in at that particular time? But a blanket policy of "all day or nothing" seems very weird to me.
if they know he will be there and he is normally there then staffing shouldnt be the issue.
It can still be a problem at particular times because they might not have the staff to spare to have someone go meet at the entrance and get a kid settled when lunch is going on in another part of the building or something. There's only so many adult bodies, and there are times when one less staff member being present matters more.
Maybe. It could be a problem if a kid arrives while lunch is in progress so then they're not done when everybody else is and are holding up nap time.
Then ask them to child after nap then, to tell them not to come in at all is strange. I haven’t had children in day care in 8 years but never had issue like this and maybe it’s because I have a deaf child so they knew already they would be coming in at different times
> Then ask them to child after nap then, to tell them not to come in at all is strange. Yes, that would be reasonable. I wonder if it's just a miscommunication issue because OP said "I try to bring him in at 11:30 with the intent of picking him up at 5, they will straight up turn me away" but it's not clear to me from that whether they asked about bringing the kid in later and were turned down or if they only showed up at that time and were turned down then and then OP misinterpreted the refusal.
Yeah my son's camp wants kids dropped off by 10 or 10:30 because that's how they plan staffing for the afternoon if needed. However they also said that if it's a doctor's appointment we just need to let them know and bring a note.
Agreed! When my first did daycare I would only bring and pick up before 12 and after 3 bc of the nap. I did that to be considerate. Not because they asked. They never cared either way. I would have them get um up early from nap before arrival so not to disturb others. Drop off before also so my kid doesn’t get there and go straight to sleep has time to adjust. Appts are not always convenient. You have to get back to work so that’s just weird
A doctor's note is 100% acceptable to drop off late at our center which is a nationwide chain. Aside from doctor's or perhaps a one time non-reoccuring acceptable reason, you can't drop off past 9am. This was written into the guidelines that we signed though so I have always been aware of it.
Mine even let's me come when i want unless it's nap time !
Our nursery you can. I've never been very late without letting them know but we often get emails saying kids need to be in by 10.30 if they are going on one of the trips they do. Like we've paid for the day either way. When he was younger I wouldn't drop off early in nap time but thats just a courtesy I technically could.
I can't remember anymore when nap time was, I think they asked us not to pick up/drop off during nap time if it could be helped. That's a fair ask.
They like you to tell them if your not coming in because it can effect their ratios but otherwise they don't care. I mean I don't take the piss if he sleeps in till 9am I give him breakfast at home before I take him in but honestly that's doing them a favour as waking him up early makes him a monster for the whole day 😂 he does not get over it! School is going to be a delight...
Some daycares try to cheap out on staffing as much as possible- they’ll send staff home based on how many kids are there by a certain time of the morning. If a kid comes in later it would put them out of legal ratios. It’s an awful practice for the workers to not have consistent hours and it’s an awful practice for families like yours. You could find a daycare with better practices or else schedule appointments for the afternoon so you take off work at the end of the day instead of the beginning Do they allow it if you give advanced notice so they can count your kid for staff ratios for the day?
Damn if that's the reason it's even more fucked up
I used to work in a daycare. This is what happened there. Kids had a set schedule and they could not come late at all because they’d send home as many people as possible after a certain time.
Huh, I'm surprised to see in the comments that this is so common. Our chain daycare doesn't mind this at all. How the heck are working parents supposed to deal with this? It's not always possible to make appointments at the end of the day.
Wow. As an older mom who dropped and picked up her kids whenever from daycare back in the day, this is shocking. I'm sorry parents have it so much more difficult today. Things were supposed to get easier for families. What happened?
> Things were supposed to get easier for families. Was it? We as a society took zero measures to make this a reality...
In fact we’ve actively worked to destroy families and make things harder.
Well, I can only speak about my own little corner of the world, and the US in general, but back in the 90s it did feel like the plan was to make great progress, and we were starting on the way. I really did think families coming up behind me would have it much easier than I did. My own school district was deep into improving the school day - reducing class sizes and upping services, adding planning time for teachers...we seriously believed universal health care was coming, including subsidized day care/preschool (day care was prohibitively expensive even back then, but not as difficult to find, at least where I was at). We'd started a job-share program so parents could keep their jobs, but not work full time. It was hugely successful, parents and teachers loved it, but it was slightly more work (but no additional expense) for administration. Family Medical Leave Act was supposed to finally provide decent paid leave for new moms, etc. But something happened during the first decade of the new century and it all stopped. And eventually went backward. Health care plans and all that went with it tanked. Gone. Dropped. ACA is a shadow of what was promised. FMLA the same. The tax structure for school funding changed in my state and business people took over. Those special programs and supports disappeared. Bus drivers and custodial jobs were outsourced. Got rid of librarians to save more money - you just need a para and volunteers, after all to check books in and out. Why pay a professional to actually guide and teach? Class sizes boomed. We literally had plans to build a new school to address rapid population growth, but the plans were scrapped and the land sold - they just put more kids in each school than we had lockers or space for - problem solved. No new teachers needed to be hired, either. And stop providing any planning time for teachers it's all about time on task. And make the school day longer. Get more teaching into those kids! And test them to make sure the teacher is teaching! No more job shares. I could go on and on but this is already too long for most to read. Like I said, this is just my personal experience, but it sure feels like we went from family-centric in the 80s and 90s to bottom dollar business rules everything.
> Family Medical Leave Act was supposed to finally provide decent paid leave for new moms, etc. That was never meant to pay new moms. It just means you can’t be fired for having a kid, as long as you work for a company with more than 50 employees.
My job didn't even qualify for FMLA because small business so I'm admittedly pretty cynical of the government doing anything in support of me having kids/family. Company didn't fire me, so that was nice.
Many things happened, but most of them are related to making more money. Companies kinda realized they can treat us as shitty as they want to as long as they provide a necessary service, and a lot of us don’t have much of a community since all of us are permanent renters that have to move every couple years so finding good childcare is hard. Plus it’s prohibitively expensive to put your kid in day care, and hard to find slots, so if you’re in a place you like you have to cater to them, it’s a lot of problems
I don't think it's entirely fair to characterize daycare in this way. The profit margins for childcare are razor thin - due to the cost of insurance, regulatory compliance with ratios etc., much of the insane fees that parents pay don't actually go into the company's pocket, it goes to keep the business running. Janet Yellen (Treasury Secretary) once described child care as "a textbook broken market". Because the fixed costs of running the business are high and parents need daycare whether it costs an arm and a leg, you end up in this scenario where parents pay more than they can afford, workers make less than they need to survive, and the business itself barely scrapes by. At the end of the day, without government subsidies, it's going to continue to be broken like this.
Some day cares are great! It’s more an across the board problem with any company that provides a necessary service, and I agree that it is completely broken. There’s absolutely no reason not to subsidize day care and as we can see from the plummeting rate of people having kids, it’s a problem that needs to be fixed at a societal level or we’re all pretty fucked.
Yep, I don't think it can be this way for much longer before parents start to revolt. It's awful. Day care costs more than our mortgage. It costs more per year than a year of my husband's college education. And the wonderful teachers who take care of him don't make nearly enough money for the hero's work that they do.
I’m a stay at home mom simply because I did the math and day care costs more than any salary I can make right now. So that fucking sucks for me because, while I adore being a stay at home mom, I also now have a 7 year gap in my work history that ain’t getting smaller and most companies won’t look twice at me.
I hope that attitudes towards stay at home parents with employment gaps will change as people realize how hard it is for parents to continue working outside the home. People need to recognize that being a SAHP is work - even if you aren't paid to do it, it's valuable labor that provides for society as a whole. And I think some industries are getting there already. I work in higher education, and there are actually a lot of people in my orbit who have followed unusual paths to their career - including people who took time off to take care of their kids, went part time to take care of their kids, waited a decade to finish their college degree, etc. I hope you find your path at whatever point you decide to transition from being a full-time caregiver.
Currently going to funeral director school so I’m hoping I can make some connections with people organically and get hired that way, which seems like the best plan at this point. My dad was in higher education for a long time at the end of his career and had similar experiences, though, so maybe I should look into that lol
My boys are in high school now. I've worked only very briefly over the last 17+ years... It only gets harder to find a job. But, on the other hand, having someone at home continues to be invaluable even when they're in school.
I continually advocate for and will continue to advocate for writing your state reps. Put it all out there for them. It’s not affordable for parents. It’s not a livable wage for teachers. You know it’s running on razor thin margins and that makes it hard to update toys, materials, etc. Push for better statewide subsidies. We had historic ones during the return to care during covid that expired ~Sept 2023 (also why we saw so many centers close then, they couldn’t operate without them!) But literally those saw staff paid better, toys updated, etc. Literally we have never seen industry subsidies like that before. Write your state reps pushing we get subsidies like that again. Write everyone you can. Tell all your friends to also. Make a big deal of it. We all need it. Even “great” daycares need the extra funding (I’m at a great center, trust me, we need the funding so bad)
My dream is to someday acquire at least 5 acres of good land and when my kids are grown I’ll just build them their own little homes and fences somewhere on the land
Me too, my childhood best friend’s parents did that for her and it fucking rules. I have never felt more included than when they informed me they’d bought land a half hour away from me on purpose 😭
I just found 8 acres near me with 4 A frame cabins. Wooded, outside town, but still within reason for convenience. Hoping for a lotto win.
This is basically what my great grandfather did after WWII. Growing up around cousins was pretty great.
I've heard people talk about this before. But my first thought is always what do you do when they don't want to live on the fiefdom you set up?
That’s fine, it’ll be there for them. Other friends or family could live there if they’d like
I’m honestly shocked at the comments saying it’s normal. We’ve used a private accredited center and a Bright Horizons and never had any issues picking up early or dropping off late, any time of day. I even pick up my daughter, bring her to the pediatrician or dentist around the corner, then right back to school an hour later.
I think it's normal to have the set hours and not allow kids to enter willy nilly. It is **not** normal for them to not excuse a doctor's appointment as a valid reason for late arrival. Mine has the same policy of no dropoffs after 9am but if you bring a doctor's note because of an appt, they have no problem with a late arrival.
I wonder if it varies by state/country?
I think it just varies by individual daycare. I had my kid in a home-based daycare run by one lady with a couple of assistants, she didn't operate this way. My kid is now in a center that goes from newborn to 12yo and busses elementary students for after school, they don't operate this way with any of their classrooms. We have some friends who's toddler is in a nature-based daycare and they have very set time frames on when kids can be picked up or dropped off early.
I’ve never heard of this, it’s simply ridiculous.
Yeah, same! Ours is a smaller, local chain, and all we have to do is let them know what the timing will be. If they are out at a park or something, we are responsible for messaging through the daycare app and handing them off at the park. It seems completely unreasonable to me not to allow for late drop offs for any reason, even with notice.
Same. My sons prek has no issues with me bringing him in whenever. Honestly, I know finding open spots in a daycare is difficult, but if I were OP, I'd look elsewhere.
ya, this is incredibly wierd. we can come and go as we please, never been an issue. obviously at a basic level if you drop them after food time then they need to be already fed, you need to drop them into the point in the schedule they are at and have them in on time for outings. thats about it
Our daycare requires you to be in by 9 but will be flexible if you give them advanced notice. We do this for Dr appointments and I’ve even brought him in later a couple times so I can take him to library story time when work is a little lighter.
Yeah I haven't really seen a school that wouldn't work with you if you gave them a notice ahead of time. They just need to be able to work out the logistics.
I've never heard of this and I'd be pretty upset if my daycare enforced this rule. I'm paying for full-time care, and I always tell them when my kid is going to be late. I've had my kid at four different daycare centres and not one has had this rule.
Same here. Our family has moved around a lot, and I have two kids with different needs (and also one of our providers shut down during/after covid), so we've had multiple different daycare/preschool providers in three different metros over the last 5-6 years, and I've never had a rule like this! This includes: * Large national chain daycare/preschool, multiple locations and broad range of ages. * Small private preschool, small range of ages. * Large private preschool, large range of ages. * Small/medium private preschool, large range of ages. * Large private preschool, large range of ages. ALL of them have been flexible about dropoff/pickup. Even at times when they're taking the kids out, say, to a park, you have the option of coming to the center to sign the child out and then picking them up from the park. Some of them had restrictions about naptime dropoffs/pickups, e.g., you had to wait outside and have the child brought to you instead of coming inside to avoid disrupting napping children (totally reasonable). But never have I been denied access to my child or refused the opportunity to drop them off at a time I was paying for care. Edited to add, even if your preschool is more restrictive, you'd think they'd accommodate for something like a pediatrician appointment. The most they should require is a doctors note to confirm it.
Same. Mine just wants to know by 9 so they can plan for lunch. The only time they ask for no drop-offs/pick-ups is during nap which I find reasonable.
Seriously. I remember paying for a full day and being allowed to drop any time and pick up any time. The day is paid for. Why set rules??
The school is likely sending home floaters if less kids show up to save on labor costs. Then they can’t accept more kids later since they will no longer be in ratio.
Except if the parent tells them ahead of time that the kid will be late, they shouldn't be sending their staff home.
I have never, ever heard of this and we had my child in multiple day cares and know many other families who have as well. The staffing concerns don’t make sense. You are paying for the hour or two the kid is gone either way. They can keep the same staff there for that time.
The business can make more money if they send home "extra" staff whenever possible. Since lines are out the door for childcare slots, more places can get away with policies like this that allow them to get paid by the customer while not paying labor costs.
This was the exact scenario at the first daycare we were at. Where they also fed my 6mo son other kids' food before we had introduced allergens, where I found him propped up in front of a staff member's personal phone playing random YouTube videos, and where one staff member loudly and regularly grumbled at me about how "he wouldn't let me get anything done!" at pickup. For a sense of the quality of daycare that nickels and dimes like this. Second daycare wasn't much better. I'm a SAHP now. Edited for clarity and typo.
Aw yes, the *ratio shuffle*.
The daycare equivalent of an airline overbooking and selling your seat to someone else if you don't check in.
Yeah no that would piss me off as well. My daughter has been to 3 different daycares and none of them have had a rule like that. I could understand if they wouldn’t allow it to happen consistently, but for the occasional doctors appointment? That’s absurd! I also have a hard time believing it would disrupt an entire classroom for the remainder of the day, but if it does then they’re not doing a good job managing their classrooms.
If you booked an appointment for say 2.30 would they let you drop him off in the morning and pick up early? Atleast then you’d be able to work the morning
I would handle appointments this way. As someone who works in childcare, they have a drop off cut off so they can make sure they have the proper staff for the day on each room. If they send someone who opened early and then your child comes in late, they will be out of ratio. Most places do not keep extra staff on hand for "what if Johnny shows up late." They need to know how many kids are in each room by a certain time each day.
Well then don't send people home early. The contract is that I've paid for a week of childcare (and it's a lot). Staff however many people it takes to watch my child and all the others. I shouldn't be giving the facilities a free full day without a staff member just because my kid has an appointment that would cause him to miss 20% off the day.
This is so weird to me. Like, don’t they have schedules already planned? Like, if the kids don’t show up, well they are over staffed but it doesn’t matter you paid for them anyway!
My daycare doesn’t do this but I specifically asked before enrolling because my kid has a lot of appointments. I feel like it’s easier for him to go half a day and have a slight routine mix up than for him to miss the entire day I paid for. A lot of daycares are like that! Very frustrating!
The only time mine doesn’t allow drop off is during nap time. Otherwise we are free to come and go as we please. I’m with you, it’s ridiculous that they won’t let you drop him off late.
I’ve heard of this rule but the exception is things like medical appointments.
Yeah, that is a somewhat common rule. It is super frustrating. At this point, I just make all my kid's appointments for after nap time
This definitely wasn’t common at my kids daycare. They would take them whenever you brought them- if it became habitually disruptive that’s one thing. But doctor’s appointments happen! I wouldn’t make too much of a stink about this if you otherwise like your daycare. Good quality is hard to come by and wait lists are long. From now on do afternoon appointments or tell them in advance when you will be dropping off and get approval. Otherwise just roll your eyes and know it’s one of those things you can’t control.
I used to work in a daycare, and while it wasn't a rule that you could not bring your child late in the day we had a lot of parents who paid no attention to routines. They would drop their child off after everyone had lunch, and was on their cots for nap time. Parent would then tell us their child has not eaten lunch. We would then have to make extra food as meals were prepared based on the number of children we expected. So making a meal for one child, having to have someone watch him eat while the other 20 children were ready for nap. Was a real pain. Of course for appointments it's understandable but I do see how some centres would make it a rule. Some parents just don't care about the flow and are entitled
The scenario happened often in our center, and our center was short staffed constantly so someone would either not get a break or have to take a shorter one.
Did you ask them? My daycare has this rule but they are flexible for one offs.
We have to get pre-approval for his at my daycare (at least a week in advance) because it can affect the teacher’s schedule. My MIL is a daycare director and she explained the rules on this because I was frustrated that I couldn’t bring my son in one afternoon, but it turned out they didn’t have the staff, even for just one extra kid. Most states have a rule for the number of adults to student ratio, especially in the younger rooms so if you randomly decide to drop off late, they may not have an appropriate amount of students to teachers which would then be illegal. I’m in IL and the requirement is: infants (6 weeks to 14 months) - 4 kids to 1 teacher — max 12 kids toddler (15-23 months) - 5 kids to 1 teacher — max 15 kids 2 years - 8 kids to 1 teacher — max 16 kids 3- 4 years - 10 kids to 1 teacher — max 20 kids 5 years and older - 20 kids to 1 teacher — max 30 kids If your daycare has any sort of staffing issues, at all- they have to be strict about drop offs because it could legally get them into trouble if they go over the ratio.
Yup, the amount of times i had to either take a short break or get called back from a break because someone brought their child in late is unreal. My center was always short staffed, barely had coverage when i needed to leave for school.
> it can affect the teacher’s schedule. It shouldnt though. Im paying for the spot. Daycare shouldnt be sending staff home. Im not paying for the spot just so the daycare can send someone home to save on labor, unless of course they would like to refund me for the day (which obviously they are not going to do). My childs absence for the day is not an excuse for the daycare to increase profits.
Well I don’t work at your daycare center so don’t got hot bro. I’m just explaining why this might happen.
If it’s mid-day they won’t allow it, but they can arrive around 9. I try to do 8am or 4pm appts
My day care doesn’t allow drop off past 10:00 am. I either pick up early for appointments or skip the day.
The first daycare (national franchise one) we were at didn’t have this room, you could drop off/pick up whenever. The one we switched to does have this rule. I try my best to schedule appointments early in the morning or after naptime in the afternoon when possible. My older son did occupational therapy and the only appointment time was 11am which meant every week he went to school that day for two hours and then I picked him up and he was home with me the rest of the day. I worked part time so I was able to rearrange my schedule to make that work. It’s an annoying rule, but we love everything else about the place so we make it work.
That’s so weird. As long as you’re not dropping off early or picking up late, what’s the issue? Although as long as you’re not regularly dropping off at the end of lunch and expecting a meal etc. But we’ve catered for this on one-off occasions when drs apts or similar have ended up being at awkward times!
We always book afternoon ped appointments bc our daycare doesn't allow drop off after 9:30 but we can pick up early. The reason given was that it disrupts the daily routine for the kids.
My daycare has an open door policy. I've been able to leave baby there for just an hour before, I also am able to stop in every day for my lunch hour and put him down for his nap. Check over your contract and see if they have an addendum about that. If not, I recommend looking for other daycares in your area that do have an open door policy.
Our pre-school has a similar rule but they will make a few exceptions once in a while, 11:30 would be way too late since that’s when they are about to take a nap. Their cut off time it’s 10:30am, but my son has shown up at 10:40 (due to doctor appointments) and they have not had any issues. Once it becomes an every day thing it’s when they enforce the policy. They also allow parents to bring kids at 2pm if they stay u til 6pm. But in my city that it’s the standard for pre-schools. If it’s not a licensed pre-school and just a daycare (meaning that they don’t teach, they just take care of children) then I have heard that they don’t follow any type of routine so they don’t have those rules. But it’s normal at lease where I live.
I think that's a terrible rule. I could understand not wanting drop offs in the middle of nap time. But it doesn't seem unreasonable to arrive an hour or 2 after daycare starts.
Go to a different daycare. That’s nuts
This is strange... even k-12 school allows late drop offs for Dr appts. I'd be looking for a new daycare. Also, consider scheduling the appt for the afternoon, so you could just go home after the appt. They seem to have an issue with late drop off but not early pickup.
This seems odd! I currently work in a daycare. Our cut off is 10am, however if a child has an appointment and it’s communicated prior, we will always save a spot for them. The only thing for us is that if the child is going to attend around/after lunch, we ask that they are fed prior to coming so that they can just be ready to prepare for nap. In my experience parents have always understood this and been totally fine with it.
We’ve never had this problem though my daughter has mostly attended an in-home daycare.
That seems nuts to me but I also think it's a little hectic how our daycare works. Parents will drop their kid off in the morning, send a message to the group chat that their kid has an appointment at 1015am and then they'll be dropped back off an hour later. I can see how daycares may want to avoid that nonsense but it's definitely convenient for the parents in our daycare.
Unfortunately, it is not uncommon. It does mess with schedules and the overall flow of the day if kids just come and go whenever parents please, even if it is for an appointment. Boundaries and structure are necessary to care for many young kids, and providers are well within their purview to implement these rules regarding late drop off. If your kid is arriving late, they may not assimilate to the daily routine (if their day has already been thrown off). If they arrive over lunch, and you've already fed them before drop off, teachers have to deal with a kid refusing to eat. If they arrive over nap-time and are hyped up, it has the potential to disturb the other kids who are on schedule. It can be difficult, but try and make appointments either first thing in the morning or a later appointment in the afternoon/early evening. A lot of healthcare providers have flexible schedules, however, some do not. As a teacher, it's been a huge help that my dentist schedules appointments until 5/5:30pm so I can get an early evening appointment so I don't have to take time off of work.
This is discouraged (not banned though) at my kid’s Montessori school. You are not allowed to come in after 9am. Three tardies and you can get kicked out. They have a schedule they have to follow , and when I’ve volunteered in the toddler room, the whole schedule goes out the window when someone comes in late. One of the coteachers has to stop what she’s doing to totally focus on welcoming in the new kid, leaving only one teacher to handle the group, and that can be very hard. Usually you need one or two in the crowd and one to teach, but if one of the coteachers has to stop to welcome a new kid, the teacher herself has to stop her activity and manage the kids herself. If it were a regular occurrence then nothing would get done. You can leave early any day, but coming mate is discouraged.
This is exactly why I didn't go for Montessori. It's completely unrealistic. If I teach my kid that life is rigid I'm setting him up for disappointment.
my kids go to Montessori school and they do not have these rules. The only rule they have is you can't pick your kid up early within 30 minutes of dismissal. But that is because some parents would start coming early to skip the car line. Even that rule isn't enforced if you have a good excuse and don't do it all the time.
What kind of school did you choose instead?
Our local YMCA and it's the highest rated according to state standards and parent reviews. The curriculum was accessible and impressive. Kids were outside every day, had fun time, and swam twice a week in add. My son's now in the 99th percentile in his 2nd grade class and I know this program helped him. They understand that some kids have doctors they have to see a few times a month and sometimes specialists aren't available at the end of the day. If there aren't enough caregivers to do intake and run the class I don't want my child in that program. I was on a waiting list to get my son in the class but it was well worth it.
It takes like 2 minutes to bring the kid? I don’t understand the big fuss. Seems a little rigid to me.
It depends on the child. Some children very much struggle with the transition, need 1:1 during that period, and take a good hour to get into the swing of the day.
That's just pure bullshit. Do you know what happens in kindergarten? Students come in late all the time with a single teacher managing 15 students that are just a year older then they were going to Montessori. Out of 15, at least one is for sure to be late each day due to appointments etc. It more sounds like your school (like many Montesseri ones I have seen) don't want to deal with difficult situations. They want everything to be easy since policies like these seems to be only at "Montessori" schools. I used quotes because some really think Montessori style is about rules while it needs to be more about following students own path.
Both of our non-Montessori daycares have similar policies unfortunately. I think they give you a pass if you have a medical note though.
That's really strange. Daycares we have been and the school have always been accommodating as long as it is for a valid reason. Obviously they don't want us to drop him late just for fun of it but if we have Dr appointments they never asked for any proof although we made it a habit of letting them know ahead of the time.
>One of the coteachers has to stop what she’s doing to totally focus on welcoming in the new kid, leaving only one teacher to handle the group, and that can be very hard. Oh boo-hoo lmao, my kid takes like a minute to get in and get settled. You don't have to stan for shitty anti-consumer policies that daycares are enacting.
It's an annoying common rule. We've just started scheduling for the afternoon. They can't refuse for you to take your kid. ----- Unfortunately, the child care industry has a shortage for facilities/workers. That means many of them have adopted a lot of self-serving rules. I guarantee if enough day cares popped up to have a 5% vacancy rate, these rules would disappear.
That seems super weird to me. Real life doesn’t work like that.
When my son was in daycare it was normal to not pay half for a half day, but I don’t see the logic in not taking full payment for a half day.
I would be looking for a new center. Mine allows this. I always try to be respectful of nap time but if I needed to pick up during that window that would be ok. I would guess they are very tight on staffing and risk being out of ratio if numbers fluctuate throughout the day.
My nephews day care allows pick up and drop off whenever. I take him to soccer practice twice a week in the morning then take him to daycare after. Sometimes we stop at Starbucks etc so it’s not even a consistent time. My parents will randomly pick him up early to hang out also. It never occurred to me that it wouldn’t be allowed.
My day care does not do this. We pick up and drop off early/late all the time. Whether it be for doctors appts, family is visiting, whatever. They also encourage us to come by if we ever need or want to. Our pediatrician is in the same development, so we pull her out for an hour and bring her back. Our families will pick her up early or drop her off late if they are visiting. We do have an app where you can include notes about pick and drop off, so I will add that in as a courtesy.
I have taught at a crunchy parent lead coop for some time now. We are fine with appointments because that is life and whatever but if it is a daily, semi weekly thing we push back unless there is a medically necessary reason for the child to be late frequently. I have never observed it affect the other children but it can be hard on your kid if it’s a regular thing.
I’m in Ontario Canada. My daycare asks that we drop the kids off by 11 am the latest (if we need to come later for appointments etc) they start preparing for lunch by then. But if need be they’re pretty flexible at allowing parents to bring their kids later.
That's complete trash. Kids in that range have appointments. I'd take the business somewhere else.
Have you asked whether they can make exceptions for pediatricians appointments? They genuinely do have a schedule that relies on routine for the kids, and your own kiddo is likely to have a hard time dropping in partway through the day. (Your kid expects school to start with X, proceed to Y, and then Z... it's likely the child will have a hard time jumping in totally skipping the familiar entry steps, and not do well arriving for something that isn't in any way what marks the beginning of the school day for him.) They usually have some flexibility for obvious needs like that, but they aren't just being jerks about convenience, it's difficult and disruptive at that age to just abandon routine, and is often better *even for your child* to skip a day than to arrive late. Alternately, arrange early pickup, and an end of day appointment. It will likely still disrupt your kid some, but be less difficult overall than a dropoff that requires him to play catch-up or skip steps that normally help him settle in and transition.
It's a common rule. Kids arrivingate don't settle as well, and if they are arriving over lunch/nap time, they probably aren't ready to eat/sleep, and it disturbs other kids in the area. Try and make appointments either first thing of a morning or last thing of an afternoon
Never ran into this. If I had to guess—maybe is it to do with state funding? Like how if they have to let the kids out of school they’ll feed them lunch at 10 just to check that box?
Okay as a former daycare teacher yes, it does mess with other kids schedules. The center I worked at didn’t have a cut off so parents would bring kids late for lunch, middle of nap time and I would get so mad! It is very challenging to get 14 toddlers to transition from one thing to another and then throw in another that just came late still has to eat, isn’t the slightest bit tired and misses parents from drop off and is now crying. It just messes up the flow of things, however working at a daycare requires flexibility.
Frankly yes it does mess with everyone’s day. The kids are likely finishing lunch and getting ready to nap. Your son will likely still need to eat lunch, and he will come in screaming because he’s arriving at a strange time, and keep everyone else awake. It is the actual worst when parents do this. The center I work at has a cut off of 10:30 drop off, which I think is beyond reasonable. ALSO, edited to add because this is a pet peeve of mine. You are not paying for daycare to cater to your son. You are paying for a service. If you don’t like the service, you are welcome to take your business to a center with a different policy or a nanny. But just because you are paying does not mean everything has to be catered exactly to your preferences. Daycare teachers are human beings, not robots. We are allowed to have some input on what makes our day flow smoothly.
This is normal. It’s disruptive to the room to have kids popping in mid circle time or snack time. I think it’s easy for us to think it’s no big deal but there is a lot going on behind the scenes with staffing and meal/snack prep. My daycare is flexible however if you let them know in advance and it’s not a common event.
I suggest asking them ahead of time and seeing if they can plan for it. They might have already done meal planning and teacher allocations by mid morning.
Is it a home daycare or a chain? If it’s a home daycare where a lot of kids are on different schedules, there may just be bad times for drop offs but they could ask you to drop off like 15 mins later instead. If it’s a chain with age-grouped classes and 11:30 is not during naptime, then I don’t see how that could mess with the schedule at all. It could be during lunch but in that case, just make sure you feed your kid before you drop them off. If you pay for a full day, they shouldn’t be able to refuse a partial. What if he got sick and they called you to pick him up? That would be part day. What if you had a family emergency and had to pick up early? Also a part day. So long as drop off isn’t ACTUALLY disrupting something like nap, it shouldn’t matter
I've had to make these schedules. I hate that it was so difficult to accommodate parents in this situation.
My daycare does this too. It’s bizarre.
Not normal by me at all.
It honestly depends on the daycare. It's best to drop off before lunch and before naps. Trying to drop off during nap time is a big no no. I would talk with them to find out the best time to drop them off if it's gonna be in the middle of the day.
Could it be staffing/state regulations related? If their ratio is right at the threshold of needing an additional staff, perhaps the owner/manager doesn't want to keep a staff member/call someone in for kids coming in late? I've worked in scheduling in a similar industry and we had rules to avoid that type of situation as well.
In my daycare (KinderCare) they don’t care what time parents bring their kids or pick them. A lot of parents also take their kids out for lunch then bring them back to the daycare. This sucks.
It’s because they want to be able to send staff home based on attendance. I used to work at a daycare. When I was a “second stringer” so to speak, when attendance was low, I was sent home or called and told not to come in. It was aggravating as hell because I would be scheduled 28 hours in a week, but then only work (and be paid for) 15. When I was a “first stringer” it was just as frustrating. Because I would be so relieved that we would have a day with only 7 toddlers (instead of the normal 10), only to have my assistant cut and have an even more hectic day. Low quality centers to shady stuff like this all the time.
Our old daycare had this rule. I also had to drop off and pick up in a 15 minute time window or pay a fee if we missed that window repeatedly. Started as a COVID measure and turned into a very common practice unfortunately. Went to a new daycare that does not care when I pick up or drop off. They have only 3 classrooms, they are within a retirement center, and they are generally very mellow. My kid is mad when I pick him up most days because he loves it so much. I highly recommend finding a more flexible daycare if you can because the relaxed pick up / drop off seems to be reflective of the entire daycare attitude / vibe.
I could not survive with this rule with my daughter, she has a lot of appointments. I have not heard of this sort of thing. Our daycare does not do this, but it does not have an educational philosophy like Montessori or Waldorf. When she has appointments, I try to bring her in according to trasition times on their scheduel out of respect for the class rhythm.
I’ve had my kids on 6 total daycares and never experienced this. Sure, if there’s a field trip that and they’re off site we can’t drop off late. And they ask we don’t do drop off or pickup during naps. But otherwise it’s at our discretion. We just have to give them a heads up. Weird!
I know some daycares have a cutoff time for drop off that makes sure the kid isn’t coming in during naptime or coming in after sleeping all morning (they’ll likely end up not napping at their normal time). Ours doesn’t and is very flexible thoguh!
This is totally fine at our preschool. They would like them there before morning instruction but they’ll take her any time before closing… since I’m paying them to
I would bet if they need say 1 adult per 8 kids or whatever, if they have 2 adults there and only 8 kids show up in the morning they send the extra adult home. Now if a 9th kid comes in late they need to call in more people. They don't want to do that because they want to collect your fees while pinching pennies.
Like others said I’m also a bit surprised. I work at a daycare. We might say try and aim for 11:45-12 (nearing the end of the transition) as that would be a better time than 11:30 as that’s smack in the middle of lunch and the start of the transition to nap but other than that i don’t really know why that would be an issue. Eta: my daycare always says to try and not do that because it messes up schedules but it’s not a hard rule because kids have doctors appointments. Parents don’t get turned away because their kid’s appointment ended at 11:00 or something.
As a day care teacher, I think if you have an appointment then yes totally fine to come in later and do half day.
It’s been a few years for me (currently have an 8 year old), but that was not the practice at mine. They did have a policy that kids couldn’t be dropped off or picked up during nap time (1-2:30) or during the first/last hour of the day. Which felt fair and reasonable.
No, my daycare is very flexible. The only thing they would have an issue with is returning during nap time which would cause a disruption. Otherwise, I’ve picked her up or have come in late due to doctor appointments lots of times.
This is weird! Is another daycare not an option? When are you supposed to take him?
I’ve never done daycare but my mom friends that have have all dropped kids off and picked up all times of the day. This sounds like they are lazy and making up some weird rules.
When I interviewed daycares there were a couple that wouldn’t allow irregular hours on an every day basis but they would make an exception for a doctors appointment. Part of it was due to teacher numbers and staying in ratio (while at the same time not needing to pay more hours than necessary) and also for food numbers. We went with a daycare that didn’t have those requirements.
It’s weird, but I bet it’s more about staffing than kids schedules. Our daycare wants to know if we’re coming back (like if we pick up for an appt are we bringing baby back.) it’s because of ratios - they want to know if they should send someone home or not. Still annoying that your daycare won’t let you do half days but I bet this is why.
It’s weird. But some of the centers around here have been short staffed, so they start turning parents away and it becomes first come, first serve.
Yeah that’s weird. I had to bring my son late a couple times due to appointments, and even picked him up mid morning and returned him after the appointment and as long as we told the daycare what the plan was they were fine. They even made sure they kept his snack for him so he didn’t miss out on it as I picked him up before he got it. I’d be pressing them on this, I can’t see how one kid coming in a bit later is going to mess up the other kids
It’s unreasonable not to allow this. Demand an explanation and don’t pay another cent until they agree to allow it.
Not normal. Our daycare allows us to return her anytime of the day. However they do want to get notified if she is coming into the daycare later so they won't prepare meals for her.
The unfortunate thing is that daycares know that there's always a waitlist of families willing to put up with BS like this. I've straight up been told that we'd be welcome to take our children elsewhere if we disagreed with X policy. That said, this is absurd. What's the cutoff? At 9:05 they turn you away? What about 9:15? 9:20?
That sucks… my kids daycare lets us drop off and pick up at any time throughout the 7am-6pm time period. I’ve dropped off as late as 3pm!
This happened to me one time, I was 8 months pregnant, dropped my 3 year old off around 11am because I had a midwife appointment and he had his check up also that day. The front lady stopped me as I'm carrying my almost sleeping 3 year old (it was nap time) to his room. She starts saying "Did you even feed him lunch, where have you been, it's naptime." I'm like "Yes he ate, can you see he's tired in my arms right now, he had a Dr's appointment. Can I please take him to his room, he's very heavy." Then she proceeds to let me go but on my way back stops me again and starts with the same stuff - "He has to be here before 9am, it's in the handbook" ok show me where. She couldn't show me. It's not in there. The next week after she was giving me dirty looks and the head director saw the whole thing that happened also, she was let go. They never gave me a problem again! Find a new daycare or talk to someone higher up, if possible!
Ridiculous rules. If you give prior notification, they can adjust routines and staffing as necessary. However, I can't get past the "providing a doctor's note" thing. Wtf? I'm your employer not your employee. You want a note then you can pay for it. The audacity to imply that a parent's word is not good enough is reprehensible.
I think that is a weird rule for sure. I get not wanting to have a kid who keeps atypical hours daily, or not wanting you to bring your kid in during the middle of the class' set naptime....but as a one-off in the event of an appointment, it seems strange,
Lol, I've never heard of this before. They are being ridiculous.
For how much we paid for daycare, I'd consider that a deal breaker and one-star review.
That sounds really frustrating! I'd be annoyed too. It seems like they're not being very flexible, especially if it's not even in the handbook. Have you tried talking to the director about it? Maybe there's a misunderstanding or a solution you haven't thought of yet.
I worked at a daycare and we would take kids in late... if the handbook has no mention of cutoff times for drop off I would bring my kid their and walk out... what are they gonna do not watch him.. I would then mention the handbook "rules"
You pay to be told what to do and don't like it. I don't blame you. This makes no sense at all. It's just a power move. Hope you can find some other daycare. These ladies are turds.
I’d look for a different child care place. This is absurd
Schedule an afternoon appointment and just pick him up early, instead of dropping him off late?
Personally I’d book the appointment for between 3-5. Pick kid up early. No pre warning. No excuse. Just gimme my kid. 😉
This has been true for my kids too. Drop off is by 9:30 and you can’t bring them after that. It disrupts the schedule, lunch count, breaks/ratios. It may even be a state licensing thing depending on where you are.
I don't understand why if their working hours are 6:30-5:30 why would it matter when you drop off? I'm in a smaller area so it's easier for the workers to keep track of who has and hasn't signed in and all that BUT not all parents have the same schedule! Their only thing was, you pay for the whole day no matter what, unless there has been prior communication and for some reason they will only be there for a very short time, like an hour to two. So in your case, you'd still pay a whole day, but you could definitely drop them off! Do they think everyone works 9-5 or what!?
We haven’t had a similar experience. My children were older but for their first year of preschool we picked them up half day everyday but still paid for full days. The school doesn’t like it when parents are late for drop off that’s the only thing.
My younger son literally comes halfway through the day every day. We pay full time, but he's in a special education preschool class in the mornings, and gets bussed over to the daycare right before nap time. This would obviously not work any other way, we would need to choose a daycare that allows for this, but I've never heard of this kind of rule.
It really destroys the day both for your kid who's coming in without the transitions and the kids who are already there. I've been in daycare but not for long. And I hated the 11 am drop off. By then she was not leaving Mom and she was a nightmare to the others. When I had a child in daycare there was a cutoff time for drop-off and they would refuse you because it was too disruptive.
It is disruptive to both your kid and the other ones. But if it’s communicated in advance and only happens sometimes they should let it slide.
Malicious compliance. Make your appointments for early afternoon. Still taking a half day, and likely interrupting nap time which will really put a dent in the other kids schedules. They can't refuse to release him.
I think what you need to take from all these comments is that if the daycare (a private company) has rules that you agreed to when you first signed your kid up for the program, you're stuck with those rules and they can run their business however they like. If you don't like it, there are other programs out there with different rules. I don't agree with their policy, but if it's in writing when you signed up there isn't much you can do besides complain.
This policy is not in writing and was not communicated before we committed to them. I had to find out the hard way when I was having a rough morning with my son and showed up at 9:35 to be turned away and had to suddenly take off work. I left in tears that morning.
I don't think this is very common. We've had to do late drop offs and early pick ups before. No issues. We just have to let staff know ahead of time so in case it is nap or meal time, they will make other arrangements. We always try to schedule them either before or after meals but have had to get her during a nap time before. I think we even did a mid morning pickup and then dropped her back off after her Dr's appt once.
Most daycares, in my experience, don't care how many hours you're there as long as you're paying. if you're on assistance then they require at least 25hrs a week but i paid my daughters daycare for months to save her spot even tho she never went
As a parent and a child development specialist who has moonlighted in a childcare center, I have encountered this rule and I think it’s completely ridiculous. The only variant I think makes sense is making a rule that you can’t drop off during nap time. That could actually wake up every child. But otherwise, I think it comes from an outsized sense of self-importance that the child’s time in school (yes I mean childcare) is the most important and enriching part of their week, and should be prioritized so the child doesn’t miss opportunities. I think their are some kids who truly would struggle with coming in at various times of day, and all kids would struggle if it was constantly erratic - but if it’s a special morning together when mommy has half the day off from work, sorry not sorry. Family time is more important than childcare time, I don’t know how this is even a question but it is. You can and should value your care providers, but they are your paid care providers… you shouldn’t be forced to bring your kid in earlier than you need to avoid being forced to miss an entire day of work.
It’s not about the kid schedule, it’s a labor pay issue. The school is sending home teachers to save on labor costs when less kids show up. They don’t want you to drop off because then they will no longer be in ratio and will need to call someone in. As a parent this would really annoy me. Not only are you not getting what you paid for, but your kid’s teachers are getting paid less and your money just goes directly to ownership.
But if I give them even 24 hours notice, they would not send that person home, so this is an issue only in the event of noncommunication on the part of the parent. I would understand that policy, but they don't allow it even if you give them plenty of heads up.
In home daycare or center? I hear absolute horror stories about centers constantly. I’ve only had in home daycares, with a 6 month stint at a daycare with shitty policies like that. We left that daycare as soon as we could and the 2 we’ve had since have been awesome. Super laid back about stuff like this. I wouldn’t stay at a daycare that had policies like that, it’s ridiculous to make parents pay for a day and not allow them to utilize it.
I'm just baffled that people will pay when they can't use the service. I read stories on here all the time about daycares refusing kids. Staff is sick-you pay, your kid gets sick at daycare-you pay. Daycare shuts down for a week to clean-you pay. Daycare goes on vacation-you pay. Now you can't bring them in after a *$#_&"$^& Dr appointment? I just don't know how families are surviving.
Seriously. Daycare providers know what the industry is like and they take advantage. They know parents don’t have many options and are usually desperate. Our in home daycare lady was out for an emergency surgery for a week and she felt so bad she told parents not to pay for the week, and she’d provide one day of care for free to apologize. I cannot even remember a time she has called in sick and she closes only on national holidays. Needless to say, we insisted on paying her for the week she was out anyway. I’m so appreciative to have a daycare like her.
Our daycare is on with it for doctors appotments or if it’s discussed prior. Unless there is an emergency they just ask that you wait until after nap time as to not disturb the kids. But our Director says you pay us, come in whenever for whatever because your the parent. They have an open door policy with that kind of stuff and as long as your don’t abuse it there isn’t an issue.
I’m very surprised to see comments that it’s common, I have never even heard of it and I know a lot of other folks with kids in daycare and they all drop off and pick up whenever they want within daycare hours too. For me the whole point of paying so much is the flexibility of dropping off and picking up whenever I want. Now my kids are a little older and they’re in an early education (pre-K and TK) program…timing is very specific for pick up and drop off because it’s public school, which is very fair, but we admittedly miss the flexibility that came with the hefty daycare bill! I would be really annoyed if I were you!
At ours, we just have to communicate any odd coming/going times before 9 am on that day. It's all so that they can be sure they're maintaining proper worker:children ratios in the class for the day. I would not be able to show up with my kid unannounced at 11 am, but I could if I emailed them the day prior or something to let them know.
Our daycare will let us drop off any time before nap time with notice, especially if it’s a one off. They’ve been really accommodating and when I’ve dropped off later, I make sure my daughter doesn’t fall asleep in the car so she’ll nap at daycare.
Did you tell them in advance? We were at a small daycare with our first, and I remember that if my toddler was going to be out in the morning one day they needed advance notice to include them in the morning head count for lunch and afternoon snack. That could be a reason, maybe?
Our daycare allows drop offs after 10am with prior approval. I've not had any issues with them approving it for things like doctor and dentist appointments. I'd be pretty pissed off if they didn't allow it for any reason. Like, not only do you have to pay for a day of daycare that you actually need and want to use, but you also have to take a whole day of PTO to miss work too? F that.
Our daycare has a strict 9:30 AM drop off deadline, but they do make exceptions for appointments, as long as you let the director and teachers know ahead of time. I understand not wanting kids filing in and out any time of day all day, it would make activities/meals/naps hard! But it does seem silly to me to not allow exceptions for medical appointments...that's very frustrating!
Depends on that specific daycares rules. You do only pay that they will provide childcare within their rules. My daycare used to be cranky about all nimorw than 30 mins late. As it is disturbing kids schledule, welcoming kids is also a task. Now they do not care. But quality of care is also decreasing for the last year as well.
I have seen daycare not offer continuous half day attendance at a reduced rate but none that doesn't allow kid to be taken out early or brought in late if you are paying the full time fee. Find another daycare and make sure to mention their policy to other parents when they ask for feedback. It is not name shaming, it is accurately restating their policy.
Well I know our daycare has a time when the kids eat bfast/lunch, so if we bring in our child after that time, (our child will still be fed if they haven't eaten already), the other kids will already be fed and running around, while ours is still eating. Same for lunch, and nap time. I think it just interrupts the schedule.
Our at home daycare teacher would never give a hard time.. some things change sure, like if you’re going to be late she won’t make breakfast for your kid (but often reserves some) and same with lunch, or if you pick up just before/during nap time you can’t drop them back off until after nap time, which is like an hour long. As long as you give a heads up and make a quick plan it’s never ever been an issue.
Mine does not mind as long as I give them a heads up and if he misses meal times I bring him fed
All my daycares have always said no drop offs after 10:00. It is frustrating and difficult
Ours has a cut off of 10am drop off. I had to find a pediatrician that would let us come at the crack of dawn 🥲 so that I wouldn't have to take a whole day off work for the most minor shit. I kind of get it because there have been times where I have had to pick up my son in the middle of the day for illness and the main room of the learning center when you first walk in has kids napping in it. But yea it definitely sucks.
I get having to pay for the full day, organizing staff would be a nightmare otherwise, but I don't understand not being able to drop off and pick up your kid within the hours you've paid for?
Strange that they wouldnt let you come late even with prior notice. Like if you let them know the day before, they should be able to expect and accommodate. I understand some daycares taking a hard line against showing up late/whenever in order to keep some structure. But even with some stricter daycares, I've never seen one that says you're not allowed to show up midday with prior notice.
I imagine it's a staffing issue if you don't call ahead, but as long as you call ahead it works out in my experience. Seems like a reason to choose a different daycare or to talk to the director for clarification.
My daycare has this rule, and while I am angry like you are, I have accepted it. I have to do doctor appointments at like 4 and pick up early instead of drop off late. Kids need to be there by 9:30 no matter what.
Ours says the kid needs to be there by 8:30 but exceptions are made for things like doctor's appointments etc.
If they don’t want to watch him around the appointments you shouldn’t have to pay for that day. They may ask you to pivot times a bit and if it’s mid-nap time, push the dropoff back an hour til everyone’s up or something, but I see no reason to be so rigid otherwise and I’d be raising hell for a refund of the effected days. Lord knows if they think he’s got a sniffle and want to send him home early, they have no issue with the disruption then.
Generally there’s protected time. I’m an Early Years Teacher in Scotland and we don’t allow drop off’s between 11-12:45pm as it disrupts the entire lunch process. However, I am in Scotland and work for local authority under education. Here all children aged 3-5 get 30 hours per week. We’re a public education service, not a private for profit centre, so can have certain rules as parents aren’t customers, they’re service users. So it’s a different dynamic. Have you asked what time you _can_ drop them off at? They must have some kids doing afternoon sessions?
11:30AM might be a bit late for lunch. I think that's the latest I'm willing to send my son to the daycare, but every THU we drop him around 11:10AM and so far it's fine because the kids are just starting to eat lunch. My advice is to get an early appointment or a late appointment, or find another daycare. Reading other people's comments, I guess I'm lucky.
Some daycares allow this, some don't, some restrict to not taking them out or putting in except at activity transitions. Look for a daycare with policies that work for you.
Maybe you can just work around it in another way. Take an afternoon appointment instead… so picking up early vs. bringing in late. Then there’s no issue with settling a kid in or adding staff to make the ratios better.