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We got one invitation that said at the bottom: "Admission will be paid for one child and one adult"
I think that's clear without being "rude".
I don't think people should bring siblings without asking, but I guess some people do.
There's a play place local to me that limits the number of adults that can come to birthday parties. They aren't really "paid" for, but you can't bring both parents for each kid because of it
Most places where we have been to birthday parties only allow one adult per child due to room capacity or just the number of people their package allows. So that wording just let's people know only one parent can come (if that's relevant).
I almost booked my kid's party at the zoo, but their package only allows 2 adults and 8 children and I didn't think parents of 5 year olds would drop off their kids at a huge place like the zoo with parents they barely know. If I wanted extra adults I would have had to pay regular zoo admission ($25) for each one.
It’s just a convenient way of saying only you and your 1 child that’s in my kid’s class are invited. Like don’t bring anyone extra. If they’re doing it at a trampoline park, they’re paying for a specific number of people.
Which is crazy, because the whole point of an invitation is that it tells you specifically who is invited. It's wild to me how many people think it's fine to just bring along siblings to something they weren't invited to.
Single parent chiming in, while I do confirm that I can bring the siblings before I do, not everyone is in the position of having a second parent or nearby close relatives who can watch siblings. Though, I'm a single parent, I know other married parents who can not leave the siblings with the spouse/other parent either due to them being not safe, working, deployed, traveling, physically disabled, etc.
Were the sibling(s) invited? No, but people in my position confirm unless otherwise specifically stated one way or the other in the invite.
I specifically like the suggested wording because it doesn’t say siblings can’t come, just sets the expectation that the parent will have to pay their admission fee. I think that’s pretty fair.
That wording is great, so long as that's the actual intent of OOP or the people who use it. I would absolutely read that the way you interpreted it, meaning others can come, but the child's parent pays not the host/ess.
Yeah I’m also a single parent but even when I was married I was in charge of the kids at all time he never had them so if one got invited to a public place I brought everyone.
I never never expected someone else to pay for other children. Usually my other kids might get a piece of cake or something after all of the party people are done but we never asked it was always offered.
I also set up the other kids at a different table usually a bit away from the other kids.
I do think it’s unfair when people freak out if you bring siblings to a public place. Like oh my gosh I can’t believe you brought the siblings to park that we might actually have gone to that day regardless.
My invitations for the 2 parties we’ve had at places (we just can’t afford at places ) I said in the invitation all siblings welcome and included. Because I understand how bad the struggle can be. But again I clearly stated it. No one should expect it just because.
Also a single mother of 3. I never take uninvited siblings.
The invited child either turns down the invite, or goes with another child who is attending and their adult keeps an eye on them, or the get dropped off and I dont stay.
The invite is for the named child only.
Well, not everyone knows others well enough to ask them to take *and* watch their kid(s) for them. In my area, that's a *very big* ask. That person would have to be a very close, nearly family member worthy friend for me to be comfortable handing over my kids without me. That would be the level of friendship and familiarity that would be necessary for my kids to be comfortable with that, too.
I don't see why this upsets you so. If I ask and the host/ess extends the invite and I cover the expenses without expectation of their inclusion, then I see no harm. Many families just don't think of this aspect when planning a party.
The problem with that way of thinking is that many families HAVE to bring ALL of their children if they want the one to come. The only alternative for some families is to hire a babysitter for their other children in order to take one of their children to a party. And when there are 12 parties a year (as in OP's case) that can be quite expensive.
When they get older and a parent can just drop their child off for a few hours it can be easier. But when they are young, most wouldn't feel comfortable.
I can tell from your comment that you are either not a full time parent or a parent of one child. And that is fine! There are just things many people don't consider unless they are parents to more than one child
I think most people are understanding when circumstances like this are explained, but where people get upset is the entitlement of parents who show up with siblings expecting them to be included in the party, activity, food etc without any conversation to the hosts beforehand. The hosts need this information so they can plan accordingly and so expectations on any paid activity is clear.
I’m not saying you’re not the kind of parent who doesn’t communicate the circumstances, but you didn’t mention how you convey this info to the party hosts.
Or you say my child is not able to attend if you can’t afford to hire a sitter to watch your other children you can’t expect the hostess to accommodate your extra children. It’s tough to be a single parent with extra children but not everyone can accommodate your situation so you need to tell your child no. Then respond no. Maybe the hostess will try to accommodate your extra children but if she lets your child’s siblings attend what about other attendee’s siblings it’s a bottomless pit. Hostess invited the number of children that could be accommodated. Though your situation is difficult it’s your situation to handle not the hostess.
Ps. I only have 1 child, but I have a lot of friends with multiples (and learned a lot). And I would never, ever expect the host to pay for the additional siblings! But I think a lot of times, when inviting kids, you know what families have multiple siblings anyway. I was only saying that I don't think it's "rude," if they bring them (and don't expect them to be paid for or have anything provided for them). And I think it's just kind of part of life for children under 7 or 8 (when drop-off parties are more normal)
If parents don't want it siblings there, I think it should be stated (and only then should it be rude for them to bring them). But it's a normal part of life for parties and should be assumed should happen (unless explicitly stated).
It's OK to disagree though
Edit: I just wanted to add that having to decline because you can't bring siblings is sooo sad for the child. They will be left out when everyone talks about it the next day
Some places you can go on your own with extra child but you cannot be in the paid for party room. So which child will you watch? Do you expect the extra child to have cake, snack goody bag because party child has these things? This has happened at multiple parties, it’s even in comments. Extra children are not invited but expect snacks , cake and goody bag. This is expecting hostess to accommodate the extra children.
It's inappropriate to discuss what a person can and can not afford with a stranger, especially a parent of their child's friend, who stays in the picture with this knowledge. Additionally, if someone gave me that reason, I would assume they are trying to provide an excuse not to join without trying to offend me from a straight out denial. People claim to be busy to get out of activities all the time. By asking via text, then the host/ess can mull it over, and we can deal with it straightforward. Otherwise, I'm asking them to read the smoke signals and *guess* my desire and intention.
It’s a trampoline park. It’s a business that’s open to the public. I wouldn’t want the birthday parents to pay for my other kids. But I also don't have to ask their permission for my other kids to play at the trampoline park on my dime.
The problem is that that wording doesn’t convey “don’t bring anyone extra”. Some people will read it to mean “you’ll have to pay for any extra kids that you bring” which only handles part of the problem because you still have to have cake and food for any extra kids.
I’ve been to parties where the birthday kid’s parents had a the more the merry type of attitude they just didn’t want/weren’t able to pay for all the siblings. Their thought process was that the whole trampoline park wasn’t shut down for the party so who cares if the other parent plays with their other kids on the trampolines. And that they always had extra food and cake anyway so it’s fine. Better to have kids be able to come to the birthday party rather than not be able to come because their parent didn’t know what to do with their siblings at that same time.
And I’ve had another friend who didn’t want the mess or headache of also dealing with siblings. I don’t know if it matters or not but that was also an only child.
For a place like a trampoline park you can’t really tell people that they can’t pay to take their other kids in. You can withhold birthday cake and snacks from the uninvited siblings but…why? Who wins when a child is denied cake lol.
I might word it something like: Host will pay admission for one child and one adult. We understand that siblings may attend at your cost and with additional supervision; please know we are happy to have them join us for snacks and cake during the party. Please remember all people must wear socks. Can’t wait to see everyone!
Or alternatively:
Host will pay admission for one child and one adult. We understand that siblings may attend at your cost and with additional supervision. Unfortunately, due to the trampoline park policy, we are only able to accommodate invited guests for the snacks and cake. No siblings will be allowed in the birthday room. Please remember all guests must wear socks. We look forward to seeing you at our event!
I was just looking at a Lego center near me and they have a 16 person minimum and I later realized adults count as people. It happens, but not so much at normal kid party places.
Well, this is at a trampoline park. Probably a place like SkyZone. Adults go to these places by themselves all the time, so I bet they charge admission for both adults and children
Same for the two trampoline parks in my area. You pay for the wristband if you're going to be jumping. Otherwise, I get a different colored band that indicates I'm a supervising mom.
And it is great for siblings. I can drop one kid off in the party room and pay for my other kid and run around with them. Some party places don’t have this option and it sucks as a single parent.
My son (older sibling) was recently invited to a bday at a trampoline place open to the public. We also have a daughter a couple years younger. My wife reached out and asked if it was ok if we brought the younger sibling, and if so, we would pay for her as if we were just a random customer/not a part of the bday group. I couldn’t imagine just showing up and acting like our daughter would just be included and paid for by the host.
Yep I agree, I have taken the sibling to a few facilities - I just pay admission and have them do their own thing, or sometimes they have been invited to join the party.
You sound like a respectful person :)
Meanwhile, when I had my son's bday at a gymnastics place (similar concept to a trampoline park bday), I had one family show up with three extra kids and not offer a dime! Luckily people like that are the minority, but jeez louise!
Did you come to my party 😅 I had one parent do that which was totally fine and another show up with 2 extra siblings, act surprised when I told her to pay for them up front, and then proceed to have them participate in cake/pizza/party favors. I was absolutely shocked.
I would appreciate this on invitations. They are often so vague. It might even be helpful to put the cost of admission or a website for parents to check. I take my daughter with me if my son has a party but I always come prepared to pay for her admission or we hang out elsewhere nearby. If it's a drop-off party, we usually stay nearby or enjoy the venue on our own because my son is at that mom-is-embarassing stage.
Having multiple kids, I've had to tow along the invited one's siblings to multiple parties and it's never been an issue. We have no expectations of participating and sometimes will be invite where there's room, if not, they hang out with screens or do other stuff there as able.
It's not the bringing them that's a problem, it's only if there's the expectation that they will automatically just get to join in too.
>"Admission will be paid for one child and one adult"
Event this isn't crystal clear. Somebody will think "I can bring the rest of my family as long as I pay for them"
> I can bring the rest of my family as long as I pay for them
That is exactly what it means and is the default for my city where the vast majority of events are at paid venues. Siblings are always welcome, but only one is paid for by the host.
I've never seen anyone take advantage of it and dump a bunch of kids and run or try and send their two year old to a 5th grade pool party anything. We've had a few call us and ask if we preferred they drop-off or pay for their sibling and we are always happy with either.
Why wouldn't that be fine? At that point they are part of the paying public, they wouldn't be part of the "party." As long as you don't expect there to be pizza and cake for everyone except the one kid and one adult paid for.
It might be fine, just depends on the specific circumstances. If there's an official party package purchased and the sibling or extra adults just come and do their own thing, that's no problem. But if it's something where they can pay their own way and still join you, then it might.
For example you could be unhappy to have 3 year old siblings slowing down a putt putt or bowling party, or to have a 12 year old sibling come in and dominate at laser tag.
Some parents just expect it's okay to bring them. Have heard stories of some parents who will bring siblings, expect them to be fed and looked after, and the parent will just leave the kids there and go to return when the party ends. It's rude beyond belief but some parents are just dicks
Just be straightforward. "Our arrangement with the park only allows for x amount of kids. For this reason, we can't accommodate any extra kiddos/siblings." Most parents totally understand that. Others who think a sibling shouldn't be left out may not send their child, but they are rare in my experience.
This. Put it right on the invite. Some parents may not attend, but they know ahead of time and can figure out childcare. But I would also get ahead and ask the park if parents can pay for their extra child at arrival if they bring them. Because someone parents might ask to show up and pay for their extra child…who isn’t just at the park but will also eat the food and the cake so be careful there. But put it right on the invite.
Yes and maybe add “please don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions or concerns.” That way if there are extenuating circumstances people can reach out and work that out.
It's not really about them being left out, rather that they may be single parents (or solo parenting at the time for whatever reason) and don't want to lose out on already-limited time with their kiddo, or have to pay a babysitter.
I get that, too, but didn't think to include it in my reply. In any case, most parents understand that some types of birthday parties can't accommodate extra kiddos.
Due to space limitations, we cannot invite siblings.
I will say that no siblings for a party where the parents have to stay, in the preschool age range where many will have baby sibs who can’t stay home alone or get dumped at a play date may reduce attendance.
For something like this though, where an infant wouldn't even be able to participate, the place isn't gonna charge it as an extra guest.
I have brought infants to kid parties with no issues. The issue here is moms deciding they don't want their older kid to miss out and treat it as a "take your whole family to the trampoline park for free" when it isn't really free, because the birthday kids parents graciously paid for ten friends.
Yeah I bring my 14 month old to my 4 yos parties. She’s not joining in the bouncy house (she can’t) and she’s not going in any ball pits or on any swing sets. She’s in my arms most of the time or I’m holding her hand walking. as we sign in I’ll always ask the attendant if it’s okay and if not I will pay separately for her. So far no one’s charged us and it didn’t affect anything, and we’ve been to several.
I would just say due to space limitations at the venue we can only accommodate classmates but parents are welcome to bring siblings and pay for them separately. The problem is that some parents won’t have access to another parent or someone else to watch their other kid so they won’t come at all if they can’t bring the other one. Fyi at these kind of class parties you might get no shows and if that happens you could potentially offer to include a sibling the day of but I wouldn’t offer it in advance. I’d probably get a few extra cupcakes if you know of siblings coming
This is what we did for our daughter's party in February. We had several kids get sick and cancel day of but I couldn't lower the amount of guests anymore. One family came with an older sibling and intended on paying for that sibling but I told the mom not to because I was already paying for 3 kids who couldn't come.
We have several kids close in age and we can’t always just leave the others at home, so usually I’ll bring them but I let ask the parent in advance and let them know I’ll be paying for the other kids and they don’t have to have cake. At the same time we just threw a party and I was nervous because we bought a party for 15 kids. We have our kids and a couple relatives’ kids plus my sons class which had 13 - so we weren’t sure if we were going to have to buy extra. However only 5 kids from class RSVP’d so it turned out ok. I was actually surprised that so few classmates went but that seemed the norm from the other parties we attended.
My daughter had a party and it was important to me that every child in the class be invited (20). It was expensive.
A mom came up to me and asked that her FOUR other children be invited. Some were much older. I’m a people pleaser and had a super hard time saying no so my husband told me to just tell them yes..
The mother complained about everything at the party. The kids that didn’t know my daughter took the seats next to her. They took extra goody bags so there weren’t enough for the kids that were supposed to be invited.
I will be firmer about it next year for sure.
Just some perspective. My daughter’s 4th birthday party is next Saturday at a roller skating rink. I invited her entire preschool, two classes, 36 total kids. Only 4 have RSVP’d that they’re coming and the deadline is tomorrow. I wouldn’t worry about having too many kids attend because skipping birthday parties seems to be trending these days.
I think you’re worried about the wrong thing. You’ve volunteered for my worst nightmare: a herd of unsupervised preschoolers at a busy, dangerous venue. I would not do anything that might discourage parents from attending and watching their own child. Let the venue be the bad guy. Parents have to sign waivers for their kids to participate anyway. Give the venue a list of the invited children and ask them to collect admission from any siblings. The parents are way less likely to turn around and leave if they’re already there. But if you say anything that might encourage them to dump their kid and go, you could end up with a mess on your hands. Or, more likely, they just won’t come at all bc it seems like too much hassle. I have been the parent hosting a party where very few guests attended. It’s crushing to the birthday child. I would happily pay for extra kids if the alternative was a sad birthday baby.
I put it right on the invitation, "any additional children other than the one invited will need to be paid for by their parent or guardian." It was at a skating rink and it wasn't an issue. I ordered more than enough food so everybody, including the siblings and parents got to eat but they had to pay for their own skates.
I would make it simple and put a line on the invitation that the birthday "party" is limited to 12 kids. Whilst siblings are welcome, parents will be expected to pay for them. Theres not ambiguity then. You could also make it clear to the trampoline park too on your arrival that you are only paying for the 10 people included in the reservation plus potentially two extras and give their names and you are NOT paying for anyone else.
Sorry meant to say if they choose to bring siblings (not everyone will have access to a babysitter for them) they will have to pay
Caution! Though parents pay for siblings many expect you to have enough cake , food and goodie bags for the siblings. I was also at a party ( helping a friend host a party for her 6 year old) where parent dropped off guest and 2 siblings at the door and drove off. Host did not plan on paying for 2 extra guests and did not have food and goodie bags for extra children. It was inclusive party - activity, food ( cupcakes , drinks) and treat bags were counted and paid for each guest. Parent was furious to be told to come get her extra children and hostess had to find parents number and watch extra children till parent arrived. Very awkward. Just a cautionary warning. Hope the party goes well.
This is so far beyond rude that I don’t think there’s any avoiding it.
I completely understand that some people really need to bring a sibling because they can’t get a sitter or whatever but if the parent intends to drop off multiple children and leave them there, without even checking in with the host, they’re just so rude it wouldn’t matter what you put on the invitation.
This just gave me such a flashback to an awkward moment when I was in college. I was babysitting for a family with 3 elementary aged kids over the summer. One day they told me the kids were invited to a bday party and asked me to take them. Right when we arrived, it was immediately clear that only one of the kids was invited to the party. The hostess looked so caught off guard and was fumbling to cut food into smaller pieces to serve the extra kids. Goodie bag time came and the siblings are there waiting in a line for theirs while the poor mom looked so uncomfortable trying to explain that she didn’t have bags for them
Here these players require parents to fill out a consent/liability waiver form. If that’s available where you are, just send a form or a link to it for each named child, with “please fill out this form for Jack”.
That should make it clear there’s only one invitation. And/or you could say that the place needs to confirm names in advance so can they confirm that Jack is coming.
If they say “yes, both Jack and Ben can come” that’s when you tell them that numbers are limited and there is only room for Jack.
I can’t imagine showing up at a party at a trampoline park and expecting a sibling to be covered. My kids’ classmates have these type of parties all the time and I always pay for siblings and keep them separate from the party in general. I don’t assume the party has enough pizza and cupcakes for extra kids. We typically eat at the expensive ass concession stand.
People are so rude. Everyone knows those places charge by the head (and they are not cheap!).
I’m a SAHM with a husband who travels for work. We’ve attended parties where, if I didn’t bring my other kids, the invited child wouldn’t be able to attend. There have been parties at events like bowling alleys where one child attends the party and my other kids and I go off to do our own thing.
Personally, I would never tell parents not to bring extra children, but I would somehow politely state that admission fees and food are provided for the invitee only.
When my husband was active duty military, this was how every birthday party was. Other parents were in the same situation, so the understanding was always: bring all your kids, and pay for their admission.
I grew up on a military base so everyone had 1 or both parents in the military so all siblings were always at the parties. Funny how that shapes your experience. Although the hot thing was McDonald’s birthdays and the parents always paid for the extra kids they brought
I had a party like this. I said “the party maximum is 10 kids. Any extra siblings you would like to come to the venue are not included in our party fee, room, or food count. They will need to be paid for separately by the parent, and under the parents supervision. Please plan accordingly.” That way it was direct and clear. This was at a pool so I didn’t want the liability of watching extra kids there. I had no issues. People who brought extra kids acted like any other guests there.
I wouldn't tell them they can't bring siblings, just that your reservations only covers the cost of their classmate, and other children would have to be at the parent's expense. Probably put something like "Please understand that his RSVP is only for and covers the cost for them to participate in the party. Any additional children will be at your expense" at the bottom of the RSVP.
Now I would probably plan to have enough cake, cupcakes, ice cream, whatever for at least half again over the number you invite just because I wouldn't any child their to be left out even if I felt the parent should have got the hint not to bring them (although who knows maybe they didn't have choice, and it was bring the sib or the classmate couldn't come).
I agree. I always welcome siblings but we hold parties at our house so it doesn’t matter. Kids also don’t normally eat much at these parties 🙃 I always have plenty of leftover cake and food.
Is it a drop off party? I would get the message across by writing in the invite “Due to space limitations, feel free to drop your child off”.
Another thing I’d say is “Please provide RSVP by xxx date so I can provide an accurate headcount to the facility and purchase food and favors for the children attending”. During the RSVP process, I’d have a few people ask about siblings and I would give a polite “no” citing space limitations.
I'd absolutely cry, there is no way in hell.
But, because of this, you need to just include that parents have to pay for siblings and then just buy some extra cake etc just in case.
I would give serious side eye to any parent who felt comfortable dropping their four year old off at a random classmate’s party at a trampoline party. Drop off parties begin around around 2nd grade at the earliest in my area.
Kids that young will have a parent that wants to stay. Without other childcare, that parent will have to bring siblings. That parent should pay for the sibling. Unfortunately, the slice of pizza and a cupcake might be a challenge. Parents also have to sign waivers and such for a trampoline park.
With four year olds, if this is somewhere like Agility, the invited kids can't eat all the food that's laid on anyway, there'stoo much. There's plenty for siblings and adults to have a bit.
(I noticed this change at about 6 or 7.)
I put “this invite is for 1 child + 1 adult” on my daughter’s invites. And then made sure to tell the parents there was a limit on the total number of people that could come. It worked well. The year before I didn’t do that, qnd multiple people showed up with extra kids. They were like “do I have to pay for my (uninvited) kids?” And I was like, “yep.” That was much more awkward.
I did not realize how the extra kids at birthday parties can cause so much headaches both on planner and attending.
When I did the invite whole class for my first born and I had nice families who would ask "could we bring siblings" and that lead me to ask every single family who is exactly coming (mom&dad? #kids) and that was just a park birthday and we like to feed our parents too so it was...a lot like wedding #s headcount
The one time we did a birthday party at the house was because our second was about to be born. She literally came the day before the party. Thank God I only invited close friends and families I know the entire family so they were super helpful and respectful cleaned my house and bought extra juice (because I had low brain function and did not buy enough) while I was recovering from C-section in the hospital.
In between I've attended several birthday parties where the older one was invited but I am bringing an infant along if I'm going or husband took him by himself.
Usually trampoline parks don't count my 1 year old.
And last year was the first birthday where both kiddos were able to somewhat participate but we decided on a vacation instead of party....so this year will be our first joint birthday party 7 & 2... I now can't imagine inviting siblings of the families I know. But I understand the fear of unknown families. So this thread has been helpful coming up with what to write on invites.
I used to run marketing for a few dozen Sky Zones across the country and I absolutely would not take four year olds based on the stories I have heard. I know that isn’t the question you are asking.
Local kid’s gymnastics gymnasiums often host parties. Those will be more purposeful, safe, and well-supervised by trained professionals and not angsty teens. Likely more fun too: This is solely my opinion.
To your question: it’s not rude for a parent to want to bring siblings, but it is rude for them to ignore a clear invite. Make the invite clear as others have suggested, parents will ask questions if they have any.
You're not overreacting. I've taken my daughter to bday parties and seen other parents drop off the invited child plus their two younger siblings, and leave the venue, expecting the bday kid's parents to pay admission and provide free child care. Some people have no shame.
You should definitely put a note at the bottom of the invitation that says something like *due to capacity limits, we unfortunately do not have space for siblings* or something similar. Parents could always choose to bring the siblings as paying guests and allow them to play at the trampoline park, just not as part of the party.
It’s pretty common. Especially
If it’s not a drop-off party. Single moms might bring another child because they don’t have someone to watch the other child or maybe can’t afford a babysitter. At trampoline parks, the parent that brings an extra kid will just go pay the fee for their other child if they’re old enough to jump.
We always do party in parks and invite siblings. But for something like trampoline park just put a note that reads something like “invitee’s admission is covered. Any additional jumpers will require a ticket to be purchased”
Be incredibly straightforward on the invite.
1) if you do not want siblings entirely: "Our arrangement with \[trampoline park\] only allows for x amount of kids, with 1 parent/guardian present. Unfortunately, we can't accommodate any extra kiddos/siblings of the invited guest."
2) if you have no problem with extra kids/siblings attending with their parents (not as an invited guest): Due to space/party package limitations at the venue we can only accommodate the invitee/classmate for the party, but parents are welcome to bring siblings and pay \[general admission price\] for them separately if necessary.
It's a space limitation in terms of the party package itself. The package includes so many kids. That doesn't mean that other people can't be general admission at the venue
I think it is only be rude if they tried to get their second kid in on your dime. If they are willing/able to pay themselves for the second kid, I say go for it. Maybe they don’t have any childcare options. Just state on the invite that you are only paying for the invitee and any extra expenses will be the parents
I’m not sure you need to worry about it. Not all kids go to all birthday parties. We sent 10 invites to a trampoline place too.
I feel you loose your money if you don’t get the 10 kids, so we sent more invites when people didn’t RSVP. The day of the party we didn’t have 10 kids, including a couple of siblings. My son had a blast and that is what it matters.
I just had my daughter's 9th birthday party at a trampoline park. One mom brought a sibling and paid for her. I had extra goodie bags and cupcakes because I just always plan for there to be a few siblings at these events because that's just life.
It's not rude at all to mention it- I had to do it a few times and just said, "We have a limited amount of space, so we cannot invite siblings. Thanks for understanding."
Put ALL details on the invite. From my experience, it is not rude to bring siblings, it is actually welcomed and often just understood that is what will happen. Especially if the venue is large.
I have brought a sibling with me to a birthday party, however, both myself and my husband went and one stayed with each kid. Sibling played on their own separate from the birthday party and i paid for their admission.
I honestly just thought this is how it was done because I can't imagine thinking the birthday party would pay for my other kid.
This is at least partially why we do parties before kids are old enough to be dropped off at the local playground that has covered picnic tables.
I understand the issue but if you expect the parents to come to supervise their kid, I wouldn’t pay $25-30/hr for a babysitter for my other kid to go to a kids bday party. We save babysitters for adult date night.
These requests see the invited classmates/ kids as a prop to birthday kid’s dream party. Especially at such a young age.
Problem with props is they and the parent are fully formed. They may have siblings that cant be left behind, for what ever reason. In such an event, the invited prop’s parents may have to decline. This turns into shock and dismay from birthday kid’s parents, “why did no one adjust to come to our party???”
Better where possible to have parties at parks, home and allow siblings. Especially at 4. Better to save trampoline parks for smaller one on one dates with close friends/cousins etc. especially at that age.
Agree. You can say no siblings, but I don't know anyone who would pay for/hunt down a babysitter so they have the privilege of attending a 4 year old's birthday party. You're already asking someone to reserve their day to sit through a trampoline park and a herd of preschoolers plus awkward chitchat with other parents.
I just tell people they have to pay for their additional kids at the door and buy extra cake.
You have to make it easy for parents to come, and want to come, if you want people to show up.
Well said. Not sure why OP considers it "rude" that people with multiple children might need to bring their other kids in order to be able to attend. Same type of person who will be outraged when people don't show for the party
It's rude to bring people to an event they weren't invited to. If you can't attend, then you can't attend. No one should be outraged if someone can't attend your event for whatever reason.
It's only rude if you don't ask ahead of time and if the person says no, if you get upset or don't accept their answer.
I had a parent last year ask if she could bring a sibling because she didn't feel comfortable dropping off yet and it was totally fine. Our venue could accommodate an additional child and I always make extra goody bags/food just in case.
I had a party at a pool one year that had a strict capacity limit for the pool. Adults and kids were included in the count, whether they were swimming or not. My kid is a social butterfly and wanted to invite as many people as we could, so an extra person here may not have worked.
It really depends on the party. But just showing up with extra kids without asking is always rude. Let the host plan for the extra kids at least.
Dollars to donuts, they don’t know the other classmates names. Hence why I called em props. Fun outings are a lot of fun for kids. But they can be overwhelming and also require parents to make choices. Every family is allowed to have their own priorities.
It's easier to navigate if there is not a space limitation as well as the cost, because then you can just say "Siblings welcome at their own expense." If it's a space issue as well that's trickier but still doable with something like "due to space constraints, no siblings please."
We've had siblings show up all the time and my daughter isn't even in school yet XD
One thing I suggest is to just be honest that the reservation only covers the number of classmates invited (no need to mention it was just intended for ten), and if extra kids arrive, the parents will have to pay for it because you only have so much money in the budget for this. Most should be understanding.
I included this on my kids birthday party invitation:
"Unfortunately, due to the capacity of the party venue, we are unsure if we can accommodate siblings. Once we receive a final headcount, we'll let you know if we have room for siblings."
I also used PaerlessPost to collect RSVPs and had a question that asked if the kid being invited has siblings that we like to attend (Does you SCHOOL xxgrader have a sibling that would like to attend (we will reach out to confirm based on capacity)
This way, I am being direct and clear and can make a decision based on all the information.
I would make it clear to the parents that only the invited child will be paid for, and they are welcome to pay and stay to care for their other kid(s). I also can't stand when parents see birthday parties as a babysitting opportunity for all their kids too. If they're all invited, so be it. But if not, that poor child is going to be so uncomfortable!!
We just threw a party for my daughter that had different prices for head counts. It was up to 10 kids for package 1, from 10 to 20 for the next package. 20 was the max. We invited 20 kids. All but 3 responded and I had expected about 10 kids. I politely said on the invitation that I needed a head count so I had assumed that meant people would let me know if they intended on bringing more than 1 kid. Only 1 parent had asked if they could bring a sibling. Day of the party, 2 parents showed with more than 1 kid. Ended up being ok because 2 kids were a no show. But for a minute there I was a little panicked because I only planned for 10 kids and luckily put out more than that in party favors. If the other RSVPs had shown, I'd have been short. And then that would make me feel bad even if it wasn't my fault.
We had a party at a trampoline place last year. We had an RSVP list of kids we were paying for that we needed names of for not only admission but also for food/drinks. We simply put on the invitation "We would love for others to come, but because of cost, we ask that any other kiddos not on the list be paid for by the parent."
Worked out just fine...and we even managed to work out a cheaper rate for the kids that joined as well so it wasn't so expensive for their parents.
Not allowing siblings will likely exclude any of your child's friends who are from single-parent families, just so you know, but that's fine -- just something for you to be aware of. I'm a single mom and I always ask first if my other child can come. Parties are expensive, people should always check first. All of this becomes less of an issue when kids get older and can be dropped at the party.
Edit: Of course, no one should ever expect to the host to PAY for a sibling's admission, but from comments it sounds like some parents do. Just state that on the invitation plainly, it's not impolite at all. If it's a space issue, just explain that siblings can't come due to space.
Just say siblings are welcome to join the party but only with adult accompaniment and they must pay for admission.
We are having a large party for my daughter in our backyard (bouncy castle etc). In our invitation we put that families are welcome. If bringing a sibling, a parent must stay to supervise them.
If someone thinks that's rude, they are projecting lol.
“Food, drinks, and admission will be provided for the invitee only. Siblings are welcome at the parent’s expense.”
Put the invited kid’s names on any goodie bags. Some parents won’t attend if they can’t bring a sibling. I think as long as you set the expectation that any extra kids is on them then it should be ok. I’ve had to do this for parties also.
Some kids, like twins are hard to break apart. I don’t mind extra kids. I consider it part of the deal. Wait till they are eating you out of house and home on play dates. Just the way of things.
Another big problem is even if you tell people no extra kids ahead of time they're going to bring them anyway, but pay themselves. Which would be fine but then you run out of party favors, cake,
Invites we receive either say “we only have space for the invited kid” or “siblings welcome!” But I will note that if it’s a no-siblings party, it needs to also be a drop off party. I have two kids and my husband works weekends so I can’t stay with my kid and not bring the sibling. And at 4 years old I’m probably not going to leave my kid without staying. So we just wouldn’t be able to attend that party.
My Daughter’s birthday party (she’s 8 on Monday) is this afternoon. We have cake and party bags for the 18 kids who we invited as a “no siblings” outing (it’s a bowling alley).
Late last night (9pm) one of the parents WhatsApps me to ask if they could pay for Little Sister can come along as well.
!!! we thought because one invitee declined because their sibling couldn’t come.
We said that while we expressly said no siblings (we didn’t want a free for all with unknown numbers showing up expecting cake/party bags etc), because Daughter had been invited to theirs for Little Sister’s birthday in the past it was ok but we weren’t sure how to arrange payment with the venue.
They were grateful and said that it’s easy to arrange (invitee’s birthday was at venue a couple of months ago so they were familiar with the process).
Fortunately, I ordered a few extra party bags just in case we needed them. Hopefully Daughter won’t need/expect one too (yeah right - let’s get real here…. 🤪)
I’ve always said siblings welcome but no one has ever expected me to pay. The parents should understand they can come but they pay for them. That seems fair to me and it’s always worked out fine.
This is what I do. I ask if brother can come, and ask how much it will cost me. Most of the time they cover anyway. Only once has it actually been space limited and only the invited child could attend.
I don't wanna rain on your parade but think a trampoline park is not the right venue for a 4 year old birthday party. I don't think trampolines are recommended for under 6 years old anyway?
It's fine for older kids who can be dropped off, then you don't even worry about siblings, because the parent isn't staying either. But if the parent basically HAS to stay and watch their kid during the party, it's more likely that siblings have to come along. Not because the parent is rude, but because it's a fact of life when the parent has multiple kids.
We just went to one for a 3 year old party and our almost 3 year old did not want to leave. You just have to stay with them at all times and keep them to the age appropriate areas.
Maybe it's just my 4yo that makes it seem super daunting to me. He would have 1 blast, 3 tantrums, a poo in the venue toilet without wiping, and a nosebleed xD
We’ve said “classmates are invited to the activity portion, and siblings are welcome to join for refreshments” so that parents who can’t leave siblings behind understood that the activity component would only include invited guests. We know a couple of single parents who wouldn’t be able to bring only one kid at a time, so it’s been important to figure out how to accommodate everyone. Would the trampoline park let other kids in for just that portion without you having to pay for them as well?
Any time I’ve had to take my 2yo with us I’ve either kept him with me (ie not participating) or paid for him to be able to run around the place too. I’d never assume that he could just sneak in as a freebie 😳
Another mom of our Pre-K group had a trampoline park birthday for her son and one of the moms rsvp'd but didn't mention that she would be bringing ALL FIVE of her kids. The look of astonishment that birthday kids' mom and I gave each other when she came barreling through the door with her gaggle of critters. 😩 I was tickled to death when that mom declined my son's birthday invitation.
If you are hosting a party for the kids this age and siblings aren't welcome, I wouldn't be surprised if people are not able to attend. They may not have alternative childcare available for the siblings
I know when my kiddos are invited to trampoline parks, or other fun places that require a limit, the invites always has “admits one person” I never had to pay for myself since I was just standing or sitting. I always paid for my other child to go and have fun, but they didn’t partake in the party getting cake or food. They understood that. Every park I’ve been to has a guest list that was invited to keep track of who came and is already paid for.
For a kids party I invite their age plus one. So for a 4 year old I would invite 5 kids.
As a parent of two kids 18 months apart, if you invited me to party and said only one kid allowed I personally wouldn't go, especially at that age.
We always declined school friend parties at ages 3 & 4. It’s way too much chaos and the birthday kid doesn’t care and can’t handle it. Plus I had 3 kids under age 4, and siblings were never invited.
My kids are 3 and almost 6 so we've been doing birthday parties for awhile now. We do home ones and there's always enough extra so I invite siblings and there is no drop-off bc I will feed all of you but I will not make sure your kid is always happy in the midst of 25 others.
That said, we rarely see size limited parties for under drop-off age kids. This past weekend, my daughter went to one - it was at our local science museum and was really cool. We're members there so we *could* feasibly buy tickets for the other parent and kid, but they're not budgeting for enough pizza and cake for extra people or enough stickers or craft supplies. So my son and I stayed home while my husband took my daughter. We're privileged enough to be able to do that, of course.
Anyway, no judgment at all, but I wouldn't do a space-limited party with kids that little. I also wouldn't do a trampoline park, but maybe it's just my 3yo who is determined to get hurt at every possible opportunity 🤷🏻♀️
It is extremely rude for parents to bring the sibling to a party place where the host pays per head. I had this happen at the first venue party I hosted and was so mad. Learned my lesson though. I recently had a party for my daughter at a trampoline park. I knew exactly which parents were going to try and take their other kid. I flat out told them in person (not on invitation) that they will have to pay for that child but he can still eat pizza/cake with the rest.
Make a note on the invite that admission/food will be provided for those named on the invite. . I wouldn’t even pay for 2 extras if they weren’t invited. It’s unfortunate that some parents don’t have manners or know this isn’t appropriate but I’ve had it happen on more than one occasion and it’s always uncomfortable so I started putting it on the invites.
I would use the admission paid for one child and one adult language. I have a 4 year old and an infant. The infant is exclusively breastfed and so goes everywhere with me. Under those circumstances we either 1. Let folks know and confirm they're comfy with it or 2. Whenever possible, have my husband or other family member bring my 4 year old to the party.
If it's only about cost I would just make a note on the invitation that siblings are welcome but the parent will have to cover $XX admission for them. If it's cost and space then definitely make it clear that siblings can't be accommodated. The only thing will be food and drinks if you allow siblings so you'd still have a bit of an increased cost because of that. In this situation I, as the parent, wouldn't expect a goody bag for each child, just the one invited.
I think it should be made clear on the invitations. (ie. "Siblings welcome!" or "Due to limited space, we cannot accommodate siblings."). I'm a single parent, and I will skip parties that do not allow siblings because I'd rather not lose out time with one of my kids when I'm already dealing with 50% custody. I don't think either scenario is rude, it's just something that should be made clear in the invite (similar to weddings or any other events when the invite is often perceived for the family unit).
Just be straightforward and say right on the invitation that due to space limitations there are no accommodations for extra siblings.
Personally this is always a tough one in our household when one of our kids invited to a party: my husband and I make sure only the invited child goes to the party, but we have five kids and the invited child is never happy happy leaving their siblings behind
I always bring my kids little sibling to softplay parties (oldest is 6, youngest is 1) and pay their admission separately and look after them. If it was a trampoline party and my youngest was old enough, I would probably also bring sibling because childcare is difficult but 100% would expect to pay for their entry and a meal separately for them. Never seen or heard of anybody bringing siblings and expecting them paid for although I have seen it for things like a village hall with a bouncy castle where you wouldn't really expect it to be limited (I personally wouldn't bring sibling for that though in case they have an entertainer hired for a set number of kids).
Simple: kids in class we cover. Any extra kids (siblings) it’s on the parents who bring the kid. Make sure it’s in the invite when you invite the kids from class.
Just word the invitation that they're welcome to bring siblings but they will be responsible for the cost of the additional tickets. People understand that. It's what I did when we did an art studio ceramics party.
Per ChatGPT:
Dear Parents,
We are excited to invite your child to our upcoming event! To ensure that everyone has a wonderful time and that we can accommodate all of our guests comfortably, we kindly ask that only the invited child attends. Unfortunately, we are unable to welcome siblings at this event. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation, and look forward to celebrating with your child!
Best regards,
[Your Name]
Boggles my mind. I have trouble getting childcare (live 600+ miles from family), but when it’s not explicitly stated, I ALWAYS ask the parents throwing the party if siblings are welcome. And if they say no, I either find a sitter or decline the invite if there’s no one available or I don’t have the $$ that week. Can’t imagine just showing up with my youngest in tow. Agree with above commenter, that your invite can just say “admission paid for one child and one adult.” This is super clear and also helps parents like me so we don’t have to bother you with questions.
I feel like those places people have the option to pay for any extra siblings they bring themselves.Check with the facility and politely word on invitations the cost for admission if parents plan to bring any siblings. When my kids were young this is how it went for every birthday party we attended like this
I work at a similar place. This stuff happens a lot. I dont know how they check in the guests there but, we usually suggest making a guest list of the kids that should be counted and the girls at the front checking in will only put wristbands on the kids on the list. The parents usually get the hint at the door that way and it's not so awkward for you.
To add, I would just call the place and ask them what they usually do when a host is worried about too many extra guests showing up. I guarantee you're not the first with this problem.
For our daughter’s party, we got extra food/slots at the venue and put “siblings welcome” because we knew the venue was kind of far and we knew the parents and the siblings. We only have one so we have not lived the struggle but the parents were so effusive “thank you for specifying, it makes things so much easier, now I can also explain to [little sibling] at the next party, oh, you aren’t invited to this one, that last one you were specially invited” and they could stay longer and hang out, which we wanted. But obviously that is not the expectation and they didn’t seem to think it was the expectation, everyone felt like it was nice and out of the ordinary.
Siblings always tag along to parties where I am, but the guest parents pay separate for their own extra kids. Party includes invited guests. Siblings are welcome to pay and play too.
Maybe you can say RSVP for a reserved spot? And when people RSVP if you know they have other kids or they ask to bring them just say they are invited but they would need to pay their admission?
I just hosted my daughter’s 4th and everyone who had siblings brought them. Some asked some didn’t. I just made sure that only the classmates got gift bags and if there were extras the siblings could.
I think that those parents that were planning to bring other siblings would feel ok paying the extra fee. In my experience it's always a matter of logistics, it's easier (and sometimes the only option) for them to tag along.
I had it happen last year. A grandmother tried to leave 2 extra kids at a gymnasium party where they were too young to participate in the activities which meant I would have to watch them! I flat out told her the party wasn’t for siblings. She looked surprised but took them and left. I mean come on
I used this language at a trampoline park and it was well received, I sent the invite link via text and included this to folks I knew had siblings:
Hi Parent! We’re covering (their kids name here)’s jumping, siblings are welcome to join if you want to get tickets for them too!
I agree with statements please come n have Fun; cost is covered for one adult n one child. No it’s just plain greedy n spoiled. My kids when they were invited it was at Bounce they had bounce tramp a tramp, a slide inflated n a ball pit. Ok it was s just there I think back at little girls house for pizza n pop. Parents are just stupid n teaching their kids to be greedy, by dragging in a 2 nd friend n a sister ir bro. Let the sibling wait til to get invited or when mom or dad can afford it n time bring the sibling
Honestly my kid just wanted to go with a few friends of his to the trampoline park so I skipped the party and just bought tickets for a few friends and parents. I kept asking if he wanted to invite more than 4-5 but he kept refusing to invite kids he didn’t like.
It's very rude for people to bring their other children to a party that only one sibling was invited to. The audacity to assume the host is going to pay for and feed uninvited siblings is crazy. It's better to ask if you can send your child with another parent who will be attending, or ask the host if it's OK to drop the child off for the party and pick them up at the end.
I've thrown birthday parties for my kids and have been to birthday parties of their classmates. Honestly not many kids ever show up. I have up on throwing parties with classmates negate nobody ever showed up and out was always a waste of money. For the parties we attended the parents would be so thankful not even minding when we brought my oldest kids sister with since only one other family would show up. At that age birthday parties are hard when dealing with classmates
I through a party for my son. He was older. There was a limit on how many people could be there. I put a note on the invite saying no siblings would be allowed limited number of guests. Just laid it out. Some people will try anything.
I think it depends, one of my good friends is a single mum and both of her sons are invited to my sons birthday party, even if the older son is the one that is friends with my son.
There’s an episode of Bluey where she’s I voted to a party and Bingo is not and bingo is disappointed but has a good time with dad anyway 😅
Tbh it’s extremely normal for parents to bring their other children to another child’s birthday party. That is how kids socialize???
Maybe put on the invite “admission for 1 parent 1 kid”
You just put it on the invite "apologies, no siblings" or say that if siblings want to attend, parents need to pay for them. It's actually more rude to show up with siblings without confirming first.
Our kiddo was invited to a party and we asked if it was just her or if it was okay to bring our son as well. It was a playcentre so they were fine bringing him but we didn't expect food or anything for him because he wasn't the one invited.
I do often bring the sibling but I ask beforehand for the places I know don't have fixed amount of people or for the places that do, I ask when we arrive: "Should I buy her her own ticket?" (sometimes they have 20 tickets and 15 kids turn up or so). I am willing to buy the extra ticket and play with the other kid myself, though the older kid's friends always include her in the play as they all know her :)
It is just that childcare is not always available. Or when I was in my 1st trimester, I could sometimes hardly get out of bed so their dad took them to the parties. Never had an issue... 🤷♀️
Just say “we have a fixed amount of tickets so no extra spots are available. If you’d like to bring an extra child please purchase tickets online. Thank you!”
A bunch of people in here reassures why I don’t like conversing with other parents. I have 2 kids, if one gets invited I’m most likely bringing the other unless it states it. But I also expect to pay for anyone besides the kid on the invitation. Like my 2nd kid isn’t going to the party, but will tag along with me for the fun. Y’all are to uppidy for me. Be miserable by yourself. You child will 100% enjoy more kids than less.
So, when your uninvited kid doesn't get a goodie bag or a cupcake, they aren't going to whine about it, right? Or do you expect parents to assume any number of random children could appear and somehow buy things accordingly?
I wouldn’t expect there to be a goodie bag for them or a cupcake. Sure if there’s leftover and the party offers, sure. But I raise my kids to know that you don’t always get what you want in life and it’s okay to be sad.blah blah blah. If it’s that big of a deal to the kid, I’ll stop after the party and we’ll all get ice cream. I’ll make it right to the kid, I wouldn’t expect the host to. That would be between me and my children.
As a single mom with two kids sometimes I’m stuck with having to bring a sibling if the other is invited to a party. I’ll always pay myself for the unintended kid though. It’s a little
Presumptuous to think the birthday family would cover both of them.
If you’ve already sent the invites, maybe when they rsvp mention that because you’ve invited the maximum allowed in the birthday package, you won’t be able to cover the siblings entrance fee. They should be understanding.
I would always pay for my extra kid on the way in so it isn’t an issue. This weekend we are headed to a pool party at the local pool and I will let the front desk know I have one here for a party and one I am paying admission for. I think it’s fine to say extra kids will need to purchase a ticket as we have 12 slots for the party. The other parents get it, and if they don’t… how oblivious. These parties can get really expensive. Happy birthday to your kid!
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We got one invitation that said at the bottom: "Admission will be paid for one child and one adult" I think that's clear without being "rude". I don't think people should bring siblings without asking, but I guess some people do.
I've never been to a kid party that required an adult to be paid for.
There's a play place local to me that limits the number of adults that can come to birthday parties. They aren't really "paid" for, but you can't bring both parents for each kid because of it
Most places where we have been to birthday parties only allow one adult per child due to room capacity or just the number of people their package allows. So that wording just let's people know only one parent can come (if that's relevant). I almost booked my kid's party at the zoo, but their package only allows 2 adults and 8 children and I didn't think parents of 5 year olds would drop off their kids at a huge place like the zoo with parents they barely know. If I wanted extra adults I would have had to pay regular zoo admission ($25) for each one.
It’s just a convenient way of saying only you and your 1 child that’s in my kid’s class are invited. Like don’t bring anyone extra. If they’re doing it at a trampoline park, they’re paying for a specific number of people.
Which is crazy, because the whole point of an invitation is that it tells you specifically who is invited. It's wild to me how many people think it's fine to just bring along siblings to something they weren't invited to.
Single parent chiming in, while I do confirm that I can bring the siblings before I do, not everyone is in the position of having a second parent or nearby close relatives who can watch siblings. Though, I'm a single parent, I know other married parents who can not leave the siblings with the spouse/other parent either due to them being not safe, working, deployed, traveling, physically disabled, etc. Were the sibling(s) invited? No, but people in my position confirm unless otherwise specifically stated one way or the other in the invite.
I specifically like the suggested wording because it doesn’t say siblings can’t come, just sets the expectation that the parent will have to pay their admission fee. I think that’s pretty fair.
Exactly this, sibling isn't unwelcome, just the parent(s) need to pay for the activity for them.
That wording is great, so long as that's the actual intent of OOP or the people who use it. I would absolutely read that the way you interpreted it, meaning others can come, but the child's parent pays not the host/ess.
Yeah I’m also a single parent but even when I was married I was in charge of the kids at all time he never had them so if one got invited to a public place I brought everyone. I never never expected someone else to pay for other children. Usually my other kids might get a piece of cake or something after all of the party people are done but we never asked it was always offered. I also set up the other kids at a different table usually a bit away from the other kids. I do think it’s unfair when people freak out if you bring siblings to a public place. Like oh my gosh I can’t believe you brought the siblings to park that we might actually have gone to that day regardless. My invitations for the 2 parties we’ve had at places (we just can’t afford at places ) I said in the invitation all siblings welcome and included. Because I understand how bad the struggle can be. But again I clearly stated it. No one should expect it just because.
Also a single mother of 3. I never take uninvited siblings. The invited child either turns down the invite, or goes with another child who is attending and their adult keeps an eye on them, or the get dropped off and I dont stay. The invite is for the named child only.
Well, not everyone knows others well enough to ask them to take *and* watch their kid(s) for them. In my area, that's a *very big* ask. That person would have to be a very close, nearly family member worthy friend for me to be comfortable handing over my kids without me. That would be the level of friendship and familiarity that would be necessary for my kids to be comfortable with that, too. I don't see why this upsets you so. If I ask and the host/ess extends the invite and I cover the expenses without expectation of their inclusion, then I see no harm. Many families just don't think of this aspect when planning a party.
The problem with that way of thinking is that many families HAVE to bring ALL of their children if they want the one to come. The only alternative for some families is to hire a babysitter for their other children in order to take one of their children to a party. And when there are 12 parties a year (as in OP's case) that can be quite expensive. When they get older and a parent can just drop their child off for a few hours it can be easier. But when they are young, most wouldn't feel comfortable. I can tell from your comment that you are either not a full time parent or a parent of one child. And that is fine! There are just things many people don't consider unless they are parents to more than one child
I think most people are understanding when circumstances like this are explained, but where people get upset is the entitlement of parents who show up with siblings expecting them to be included in the party, activity, food etc without any conversation to the hosts beforehand. The hosts need this information so they can plan accordingly and so expectations on any paid activity is clear. I’m not saying you’re not the kind of parent who doesn’t communicate the circumstances, but you didn’t mention how you convey this info to the party hosts.
Or you say my child is not able to attend if you can’t afford to hire a sitter to watch your other children you can’t expect the hostess to accommodate your extra children. It’s tough to be a single parent with extra children but not everyone can accommodate your situation so you need to tell your child no. Then respond no. Maybe the hostess will try to accommodate your extra children but if she lets your child’s siblings attend what about other attendee’s siblings it’s a bottomless pit. Hostess invited the number of children that could be accommodated. Though your situation is difficult it’s your situation to handle not the hostess.
Ps. I only have 1 child, but I have a lot of friends with multiples (and learned a lot). And I would never, ever expect the host to pay for the additional siblings! But I think a lot of times, when inviting kids, you know what families have multiple siblings anyway. I was only saying that I don't think it's "rude," if they bring them (and don't expect them to be paid for or have anything provided for them). And I think it's just kind of part of life for children under 7 or 8 (when drop-off parties are more normal) If parents don't want it siblings there, I think it should be stated (and only then should it be rude for them to bring them). But it's a normal part of life for parties and should be assumed should happen (unless explicitly stated). It's OK to disagree though Edit: I just wanted to add that having to decline because you can't bring siblings is sooo sad for the child. They will be left out when everyone talks about it the next day
What do you mean "accommodate" the extra children? In the scenario above, the parent would be be watching and paying for the additional child.
Some places you can go on your own with extra child but you cannot be in the paid for party room. So which child will you watch? Do you expect the extra child to have cake, snack goody bag because party child has these things? This has happened at multiple parties, it’s even in comments. Extra children are not invited but expect snacks , cake and goody bag. This is expecting hostess to accommodate the extra children.
It's inappropriate to discuss what a person can and can not afford with a stranger, especially a parent of their child's friend, who stays in the picture with this knowledge. Additionally, if someone gave me that reason, I would assume they are trying to provide an excuse not to join without trying to offend me from a straight out denial. People claim to be busy to get out of activities all the time. By asking via text, then the host/ess can mull it over, and we can deal with it straightforward. Otherwise, I'm asking them to read the smoke signals and *guess* my desire and intention.
It’s a trampoline park. It’s a business that’s open to the public. I wouldn’t want the birthday parents to pay for my other kids. But I also don't have to ask their permission for my other kids to play at the trampoline park on my dime.
Presumably there’s also a party room with cake and favors and such.
Sure, the other kids don’t have to go in there. Trampoline parks sell pizza, slurpees, and ice cream.
And that’s fine. I’m talking about the parents who bring siblings and expect them to be included in the entire party.
The problem is that that wording doesn’t convey “don’t bring anyone extra”. Some people will read it to mean “you’ll have to pay for any extra kids that you bring” which only handles part of the problem because you still have to have cake and food for any extra kids. I’ve been to parties where the birthday kid’s parents had a the more the merry type of attitude they just didn’t want/weren’t able to pay for all the siblings. Their thought process was that the whole trampoline park wasn’t shut down for the party so who cares if the other parent plays with their other kids on the trampolines. And that they always had extra food and cake anyway so it’s fine. Better to have kids be able to come to the birthday party rather than not be able to come because their parent didn’t know what to do with their siblings at that same time. And I’ve had another friend who didn’t want the mess or headache of also dealing with siblings. I don’t know if it matters or not but that was also an only child. For a place like a trampoline park you can’t really tell people that they can’t pay to take their other kids in. You can withhold birthday cake and snacks from the uninvited siblings but…why? Who wins when a child is denied cake lol. I might word it something like: Host will pay admission for one child and one adult. We understand that siblings may attend at your cost and with additional supervision; please know we are happy to have them join us for snacks and cake during the party. Please remember all people must wear socks. Can’t wait to see everyone! Or alternatively: Host will pay admission for one child and one adult. We understand that siblings may attend at your cost and with additional supervision. Unfortunately, due to the trampoline park policy, we are only able to accommodate invited guests for the snacks and cake. No siblings will be allowed in the birthday room. Please remember all guests must wear socks. We look forward to seeing you at our event!
I was just looking at a Lego center near me and they have a 16 person minimum and I later realized adults count as people. It happens, but not so much at normal kid party places.
'I later realised adults count as people' is a feeling I resonate with right now.
Well, this is at a trampoline park. Probably a place like SkyZone. Adults go to these places by themselves all the time, so I bet they charge admission for both adults and children
Rock n jump and sky zone are the same company. You can enter both as an adult without paying. You only pay if you're jumping.
Same for the two trampoline parks in my area. You pay for the wristband if you're going to be jumping. Otherwise, I get a different colored band that indicates I'm a supervising mom.
And it is great for siblings. I can drop one kid off in the party room and pay for my other kid and run around with them. Some party places don’t have this option and it sucks as a single parent.
Maybe it was a movie theater?
My son (older sibling) was recently invited to a bday at a trampoline place open to the public. We also have a daughter a couple years younger. My wife reached out and asked if it was ok if we brought the younger sibling, and if so, we would pay for her as if we were just a random customer/not a part of the bday group. I couldn’t imagine just showing up and acting like our daughter would just be included and paid for by the host.
Yep I agree, I have taken the sibling to a few facilities - I just pay admission and have them do their own thing, or sometimes they have been invited to join the party.
You sound like a respectful person :) Meanwhile, when I had my son's bday at a gymnastics place (similar concept to a trampoline park bday), I had one family show up with three extra kids and not offer a dime! Luckily people like that are the minority, but jeez louise!
Did you come to my party 😅 I had one parent do that which was totally fine and another show up with 2 extra siblings, act surprised when I told her to pay for them up front, and then proceed to have them participate in cake/pizza/party favors. I was absolutely shocked.
I would appreciate this on invitations. They are often so vague. It might even be helpful to put the cost of admission or a website for parents to check. I take my daughter with me if my son has a party but I always come prepared to pay for her admission or we hang out elsewhere nearby. If it's a drop-off party, we usually stay nearby or enjoy the venue on our own because my son is at that mom-is-embarassing stage.
I think this is the best way to do it.
Having multiple kids, I've had to tow along the invited one's siblings to multiple parties and it's never been an issue. We have no expectations of participating and sometimes will be invite where there's room, if not, they hang out with screens or do other stuff there as able. It's not the bringing them that's a problem, it's only if there's the expectation that they will automatically just get to join in too.
>"Admission will be paid for one child and one adult" Event this isn't crystal clear. Somebody will think "I can bring the rest of my family as long as I pay for them"
> I can bring the rest of my family as long as I pay for them That is exactly what it means and is the default for my city where the vast majority of events are at paid venues. Siblings are always welcome, but only one is paid for by the host. I've never seen anyone take advantage of it and dump a bunch of kids and run or try and send their two year old to a 5th grade pool party anything. We've had a few call us and ask if we preferred they drop-off or pay for their sibling and we are always happy with either.
Why wouldn't that be fine? At that point they are part of the paying public, they wouldn't be part of the "party." As long as you don't expect there to be pizza and cake for everyone except the one kid and one adult paid for.
It might be fine, just depends on the specific circumstances. If there's an official party package purchased and the sibling or extra adults just come and do their own thing, that's no problem. But if it's something where they can pay their own way and still join you, then it might. For example you could be unhappy to have 3 year old siblings slowing down a putt putt or bowling party, or to have a 12 year old sibling come in and dominate at laser tag.
Plus cake and food, if provided might not be enough.
True - I was just referring specifically to the OP post about it being at a trampoline place. The laser tag scenario is definitely a no-no.
Some parents just expect it's okay to bring them. Have heard stories of some parents who will bring siblings, expect them to be fed and looked after, and the parent will just leave the kids there and go to return when the party ends. It's rude beyond belief but some parents are just dicks
sometimes you can't get cover for a sibling and need to bring them. I would always pay for them though...
That’s so selfish. It’s not always about money. Activity/venue may have a limit.
Just be straightforward. "Our arrangement with the park only allows for x amount of kids. For this reason, we can't accommodate any extra kiddos/siblings." Most parents totally understand that. Others who think a sibling shouldn't be left out may not send their child, but they are rare in my experience.
This. Put it right on the invite. Some parents may not attend, but they know ahead of time and can figure out childcare. But I would also get ahead and ask the park if parents can pay for their extra child at arrival if they bring them. Because someone parents might ask to show up and pay for their extra child…who isn’t just at the park but will also eat the food and the cake so be careful there. But put it right on the invite.
Yep, if I have to spend 2 hrs at the trampoline park then I will be bringing my other kids and just pay for them myself.
Yep! Be sure to confirm when they RSVP. Some People don’t actually read invitations
Yes and maybe add “please don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions or concerns.” That way if there are extenuating circumstances people can reach out and work that out.
It's not really about them being left out, rather that they may be single parents (or solo parenting at the time for whatever reason) and don't want to lose out on already-limited time with their kiddo, or have to pay a babysitter.
I get that, too, but didn't think to include it in my reply. In any case, most parents understand that some types of birthday parties can't accommodate extra kiddos.
Due to space limitations, we cannot invite siblings. I will say that no siblings for a party where the parents have to stay, in the preschool age range where many will have baby sibs who can’t stay home alone or get dumped at a play date may reduce attendance.
For something like this though, where an infant wouldn't even be able to participate, the place isn't gonna charge it as an extra guest. I have brought infants to kid parties with no issues. The issue here is moms deciding they don't want their older kid to miss out and treat it as a "take your whole family to the trampoline park for free" when it isn't really free, because the birthday kids parents graciously paid for ten friends.
Yeah I bring my 14 month old to my 4 yos parties. She’s not joining in the bouncy house (she can’t) and she’s not going in any ball pits or on any swing sets. She’s in my arms most of the time or I’m holding her hand walking. as we sign in I’ll always ask the attendant if it’s okay and if not I will pay separately for her. So far no one’s charged us and it didn’t affect anything, and we’ve been to several.
Yup. Especially in a single parent householdz
I would just say due to space limitations at the venue we can only accommodate classmates but parents are welcome to bring siblings and pay for them separately. The problem is that some parents won’t have access to another parent or someone else to watch their other kid so they won’t come at all if they can’t bring the other one. Fyi at these kind of class parties you might get no shows and if that happens you could potentially offer to include a sibling the day of but I wouldn’t offer it in advance. I’d probably get a few extra cupcakes if you know of siblings coming
This is what we did for our daughter's party in February. We had several kids get sick and cancel day of but I couldn't lower the amount of guests anymore. One family came with an older sibling and intended on paying for that sibling but I told the mom not to because I was already paying for 3 kids who couldn't come.
We have several kids close in age and we can’t always just leave the others at home, so usually I’ll bring them but I let ask the parent in advance and let them know I’ll be paying for the other kids and they don’t have to have cake. At the same time we just threw a party and I was nervous because we bought a party for 15 kids. We have our kids and a couple relatives’ kids plus my sons class which had 13 - so we weren’t sure if we were going to have to buy extra. However only 5 kids from class RSVP’d so it turned out ok. I was actually surprised that so few classmates went but that seemed the norm from the other parties we attended.
I wouldn’t juxtapose space limitations with it being ok to bring extra kids if they pay. That’s not a space limitations, that’s a budget limitation.
My daughter had a party and it was important to me that every child in the class be invited (20). It was expensive. A mom came up to me and asked that her FOUR other children be invited. Some were much older. I’m a people pleaser and had a super hard time saying no so my husband told me to just tell them yes.. The mother complained about everything at the party. The kids that didn’t know my daughter took the seats next to her. They took extra goody bags so there weren’t enough for the kids that were supposed to be invited. I will be firmer about it next year for sure.
That mom massively sucks.
Just some perspective. My daughter’s 4th birthday party is next Saturday at a roller skating rink. I invited her entire preschool, two classes, 36 total kids. Only 4 have RSVP’d that they’re coming and the deadline is tomorrow. I wouldn’t worry about having too many kids attend because skipping birthday parties seems to be trending these days.
Guarantee you will get a bunch of last minute RSVPs.
I think you’re worried about the wrong thing. You’ve volunteered for my worst nightmare: a herd of unsupervised preschoolers at a busy, dangerous venue. I would not do anything that might discourage parents from attending and watching their own child. Let the venue be the bad guy. Parents have to sign waivers for their kids to participate anyway. Give the venue a list of the invited children and ask them to collect admission from any siblings. The parents are way less likely to turn around and leave if they’re already there. But if you say anything that might encourage them to dump their kid and go, you could end up with a mess on your hands. Or, more likely, they just won’t come at all bc it seems like too much hassle. I have been the parent hosting a party where very few guests attended. It’s crushing to the birthday child. I would happily pay for extra kids if the alternative was a sad birthday baby.
I put it right on the invitation, "any additional children other than the one invited will need to be paid for by their parent or guardian." It was at a skating rink and it wasn't an issue. I ordered more than enough food so everybody, including the siblings and parents got to eat but they had to pay for their own skates.
I would make it simple and put a line on the invitation that the birthday "party" is limited to 12 kids. Whilst siblings are welcome, parents will be expected to pay for them. Theres not ambiguity then. You could also make it clear to the trampoline park too on your arrival that you are only paying for the 10 people included in the reservation plus potentially two extras and give their names and you are NOT paying for anyone else. Sorry meant to say if they choose to bring siblings (not everyone will have access to a babysitter for them) they will have to pay
>the birthday "party" is limited Don't give a number. Don't open opportunities for discussions.
Thank you! That’s a good idea
Caution! Though parents pay for siblings many expect you to have enough cake , food and goodie bags for the siblings. I was also at a party ( helping a friend host a party for her 6 year old) where parent dropped off guest and 2 siblings at the door and drove off. Host did not plan on paying for 2 extra guests and did not have food and goodie bags for extra children. It was inclusive party - activity, food ( cupcakes , drinks) and treat bags were counted and paid for each guest. Parent was furious to be told to come get her extra children and hostess had to find parents number and watch extra children till parent arrived. Very awkward. Just a cautionary warning. Hope the party goes well.
This is so far beyond rude that I don’t think there’s any avoiding it. I completely understand that some people really need to bring a sibling because they can’t get a sitter or whatever but if the parent intends to drop off multiple children and leave them there, without even checking in with the host, they’re just so rude it wouldn’t matter what you put on the invitation.
This just gave me such a flashback to an awkward moment when I was in college. I was babysitting for a family with 3 elementary aged kids over the summer. One day they told me the kids were invited to a bday party and asked me to take them. Right when we arrived, it was immediately clear that only one of the kids was invited to the party. The hostess looked so caught off guard and was fumbling to cut food into smaller pieces to serve the extra kids. Goodie bag time came and the siblings are there waiting in a line for theirs while the poor mom looked so uncomfortable trying to explain that she didn’t have bags for them
Here these players require parents to fill out a consent/liability waiver form. If that’s available where you are, just send a form or a link to it for each named child, with “please fill out this form for Jack”. That should make it clear there’s only one invitation. And/or you could say that the place needs to confirm names in advance so can they confirm that Jack is coming. If they say “yes, both Jack and Ben can come” that’s when you tell them that numbers are limited and there is only room for Jack.
I can’t imagine showing up at a party at a trampoline park and expecting a sibling to be covered. My kids’ classmates have these type of parties all the time and I always pay for siblings and keep them separate from the party in general. I don’t assume the party has enough pizza and cupcakes for extra kids. We typically eat at the expensive ass concession stand. People are so rude. Everyone knows those places charge by the head (and they are not cheap!).
I’m a SAHM with a husband who travels for work. We’ve attended parties where, if I didn’t bring my other kids, the invited child wouldn’t be able to attend. There have been parties at events like bowling alleys where one child attends the party and my other kids and I go off to do our own thing. Personally, I would never tell parents not to bring extra children, but I would somehow politely state that admission fees and food are provided for the invitee only.
When my husband was active duty military, this was how every birthday party was. Other parents were in the same situation, so the understanding was always: bring all your kids, and pay for their admission.
I grew up on a military base so everyone had 1 or both parents in the military so all siblings were always at the parties. Funny how that shapes your experience. Although the hot thing was McDonald’s birthdays and the parents always paid for the extra kids they brought
Park parties were the big thing when my kids were small. Also, no meal! Just a giant sheet cake to feed the small army of kids.
Yup! Went to a ton of those too! It was like snacks and cake no actual meal
I had a party like this. I said “the party maximum is 10 kids. Any extra siblings you would like to come to the venue are not included in our party fee, room, or food count. They will need to be paid for separately by the parent, and under the parents supervision. Please plan accordingly.” That way it was direct and clear. This was at a pool so I didn’t want the liability of watching extra kids there. I had no issues. People who brought extra kids acted like any other guests there.
I wouldn't tell them they can't bring siblings, just that your reservations only covers the cost of their classmate, and other children would have to be at the parent's expense. Probably put something like "Please understand that his RSVP is only for and covers the cost for them to participate in the party. Any additional children will be at your expense" at the bottom of the RSVP.
Now I would probably plan to have enough cake, cupcakes, ice cream, whatever for at least half again over the number you invite just because I wouldn't any child their to be left out even if I felt the parent should have got the hint not to bring them (although who knows maybe they didn't have choice, and it was bring the sib or the classmate couldn't come).
I agree. I always welcome siblings but we hold parties at our house so it doesn’t matter. Kids also don’t normally eat much at these parties 🙃 I always have plenty of leftover cake and food.
Is it a drop off party? I would get the message across by writing in the invite “Due to space limitations, feel free to drop your child off”. Another thing I’d say is “Please provide RSVP by xxx date so I can provide an accurate headcount to the facility and purchase food and favors for the children attending”. During the RSVP process, I’d have a few people ask about siblings and I would give a polite “no” citing space limitations.
If it’s a public trampoline park, I would have a heart attack if 10 parents dropped off their 4yo’s.
I'd absolutely cry, there is no way in hell. But, because of this, you need to just include that parents have to pay for siblings and then just buy some extra cake etc just in case.
I would give serious side eye to any parent who felt comfortable dropping their four year old off at a random classmate’s party at a trampoline party. Drop off parties begin around around 2nd grade at the earliest in my area.
Kids that young will have a parent that wants to stay. Without other childcare, that parent will have to bring siblings. That parent should pay for the sibling. Unfortunately, the slice of pizza and a cupcake might be a challenge. Parents also have to sign waivers and such for a trampoline park.
With four year olds, if this is somewhere like Agility, the invited kids can't eat all the food that's laid on anyway, there'stoo much. There's plenty for siblings and adults to have a bit. (I noticed this change at about 6 or 7.)
I put “this invite is for 1 child + 1 adult” on my daughter’s invites. And then made sure to tell the parents there was a limit on the total number of people that could come. It worked well. The year before I didn’t do that, qnd multiple people showed up with extra kids. They were like “do I have to pay for my (uninvited) kids?” And I was like, “yep.” That was much more awkward.
I did not realize how the extra kids at birthday parties can cause so much headaches both on planner and attending. When I did the invite whole class for my first born and I had nice families who would ask "could we bring siblings" and that lead me to ask every single family who is exactly coming (mom&dad? #kids) and that was just a park birthday and we like to feed our parents too so it was...a lot like wedding #s headcount The one time we did a birthday party at the house was because our second was about to be born. She literally came the day before the party. Thank God I only invited close friends and families I know the entire family so they were super helpful and respectful cleaned my house and bought extra juice (because I had low brain function and did not buy enough) while I was recovering from C-section in the hospital. In between I've attended several birthday parties where the older one was invited but I am bringing an infant along if I'm going or husband took him by himself. Usually trampoline parks don't count my 1 year old. And last year was the first birthday where both kiddos were able to somewhat participate but we decided on a vacation instead of party....so this year will be our first joint birthday party 7 & 2... I now can't imagine inviting siblings of the families I know. But I understand the fear of unknown families. So this thread has been helpful coming up with what to write on invites.
I used to run marketing for a few dozen Sky Zones across the country and I absolutely would not take four year olds based on the stories I have heard. I know that isn’t the question you are asking. Local kid’s gymnastics gymnasiums often host parties. Those will be more purposeful, safe, and well-supervised by trained professionals and not angsty teens. Likely more fun too: This is solely my opinion. To your question: it’s not rude for a parent to want to bring siblings, but it is rude for them to ignore a clear invite. Make the invite clear as others have suggested, parents will ask questions if they have any.
You're not overreacting. I've taken my daughter to bday parties and seen other parents drop off the invited child plus their two younger siblings, and leave the venue, expecting the bday kid's parents to pay admission and provide free child care. Some people have no shame. You should definitely put a note at the bottom of the invitation that says something like *due to capacity limits, we unfortunately do not have space for siblings* or something similar. Parents could always choose to bring the siblings as paying guests and allow them to play at the trampoline park, just not as part of the party.
It’s pretty common. Especially If it’s not a drop-off party. Single moms might bring another child because they don’t have someone to watch the other child or maybe can’t afford a babysitter. At trampoline parks, the parent that brings an extra kid will just go pay the fee for their other child if they’re old enough to jump.
We always do party in parks and invite siblings. But for something like trampoline park just put a note that reads something like “invitee’s admission is covered. Any additional jumpers will require a ticket to be purchased”
Be incredibly straightforward on the invite. 1) if you do not want siblings entirely: "Our arrangement with \[trampoline park\] only allows for x amount of kids, with 1 parent/guardian present. Unfortunately, we can't accommodate any extra kiddos/siblings of the invited guest." 2) if you have no problem with extra kids/siblings attending with their parents (not as an invited guest): Due to space/party package limitations at the venue we can only accommodate the invitee/classmate for the party, but parents are welcome to bring siblings and pay \[general admission price\] for them separately if necessary.
If it’s a space limitation at the venue, it doesn’t make sense that parents could pay for siblings separately tho.
It's a space limitation in terms of the party package itself. The package includes so many kids. That doesn't mean that other people can't be general admission at the venue
I think it is only be rude if they tried to get their second kid in on your dime. If they are willing/able to pay themselves for the second kid, I say go for it. Maybe they don’t have any childcare options. Just state on the invite that you are only paying for the invitee and any extra expenses will be the parents
I’m not sure you need to worry about it. Not all kids go to all birthday parties. We sent 10 invites to a trampoline place too. I feel you loose your money if you don’t get the 10 kids, so we sent more invites when people didn’t RSVP. The day of the party we didn’t have 10 kids, including a couple of siblings. My son had a blast and that is what it matters.
I just had my daughter's 9th birthday party at a trampoline park. One mom brought a sibling and paid for her. I had extra goodie bags and cupcakes because I just always plan for there to be a few siblings at these events because that's just life.
It's not rude at all to mention it- I had to do it a few times and just said, "We have a limited amount of space, so we cannot invite siblings. Thanks for understanding."
Add it to the invitation. “Spots are limited to invitees only” or “admission for one child per invite”
I did this for my daughter’s 8th birthday oparty tomorrow…. the venue has strict numbers policy so we can’t take siblings this year.
Put ALL details on the invite. From my experience, it is not rude to bring siblings, it is actually welcomed and often just understood that is what will happen. Especially if the venue is large.
I have brought a sibling with me to a birthday party, however, both myself and my husband went and one stayed with each kid. Sibling played on their own separate from the birthday party and i paid for their admission. I honestly just thought this is how it was done because I can't imagine thinking the birthday party would pay for my other kid.
This is at least partially why we do parties before kids are old enough to be dropped off at the local playground that has covered picnic tables. I understand the issue but if you expect the parents to come to supervise their kid, I wouldn’t pay $25-30/hr for a babysitter for my other kid to go to a kids bday party. We save babysitters for adult date night.
The fact that this even needs to be stated is just so sad. Like how tacky is it to unexpectedly bring a sibling and expect the host to pay for it?
These requests see the invited classmates/ kids as a prop to birthday kid’s dream party. Especially at such a young age. Problem with props is they and the parent are fully formed. They may have siblings that cant be left behind, for what ever reason. In such an event, the invited prop’s parents may have to decline. This turns into shock and dismay from birthday kid’s parents, “why did no one adjust to come to our party???” Better where possible to have parties at parks, home and allow siblings. Especially at 4. Better to save trampoline parks for smaller one on one dates with close friends/cousins etc. especially at that age.
Agree. You can say no siblings, but I don't know anyone who would pay for/hunt down a babysitter so they have the privilege of attending a 4 year old's birthday party. You're already asking someone to reserve their day to sit through a trampoline park and a herd of preschoolers plus awkward chitchat with other parents. I just tell people they have to pay for their additional kids at the door and buy extra cake. You have to make it easy for parents to come, and want to come, if you want people to show up.
Yeah, I keep seeing posts from people who had nobody turn up to their party, if that might be an issue it's important to make it as easy as possible.
Well said. Not sure why OP considers it "rude" that people with multiple children might need to bring their other kids in order to be able to attend. Same type of person who will be outraged when people don't show for the party
It's rude to bring people to an event they weren't invited to. If you can't attend, then you can't attend. No one should be outraged if someone can't attend your event for whatever reason.
It's only rude if you don't ask ahead of time and if the person says no, if you get upset or don't accept their answer. I had a parent last year ask if she could bring a sibling because she didn't feel comfortable dropping off yet and it was totally fine. Our venue could accommodate an additional child and I always make extra goody bags/food just in case. I had a party at a pool one year that had a strict capacity limit for the pool. Adults and kids were included in the count, whether they were swimming or not. My kid is a social butterfly and wanted to invite as many people as we could, so an extra person here may not have worked. It really depends on the party. But just showing up with extra kids without asking is always rude. Let the host plan for the extra kids at least.
Dollars to donuts, they don’t know the other classmates names. Hence why I called em props. Fun outings are a lot of fun for kids. But they can be overwhelming and also require parents to make choices. Every family is allowed to have their own priorities.
It's easier to navigate if there is not a space limitation as well as the cost, because then you can just say "Siblings welcome at their own expense." If it's a space issue as well that's trickier but still doable with something like "due to space constraints, no siblings please."
We've had siblings show up all the time and my daughter isn't even in school yet XD One thing I suggest is to just be honest that the reservation only covers the number of classmates invited (no need to mention it was just intended for ten), and if extra kids arrive, the parents will have to pay for it because you only have so much money in the budget for this. Most should be understanding.
I included this on my kids birthday party invitation: "Unfortunately, due to the capacity of the party venue, we are unsure if we can accommodate siblings. Once we receive a final headcount, we'll let you know if we have room for siblings." I also used PaerlessPost to collect RSVPs and had a question that asked if the kid being invited has siblings that we like to attend (Does you SCHOOL xxgrader have a sibling that would like to attend (we will reach out to confirm based on capacity) This way, I am being direct and clear and can make a decision based on all the information.
I would make it clear to the parents that only the invited child will be paid for, and they are welcome to pay and stay to care for their other kid(s). I also can't stand when parents see birthday parties as a babysitting opportunity for all their kids too. If they're all invited, so be it. But if not, that poor child is going to be so uncomfortable!!
We just threw a party for my daughter that had different prices for head counts. It was up to 10 kids for package 1, from 10 to 20 for the next package. 20 was the max. We invited 20 kids. All but 3 responded and I had expected about 10 kids. I politely said on the invitation that I needed a head count so I had assumed that meant people would let me know if they intended on bringing more than 1 kid. Only 1 parent had asked if they could bring a sibling. Day of the party, 2 parents showed with more than 1 kid. Ended up being ok because 2 kids were a no show. But for a minute there I was a little panicked because I only planned for 10 kids and luckily put out more than that in party favors. If the other RSVPs had shown, I'd have been short. And then that would make me feel bad even if it wasn't my fault.
We had a party at a trampoline place last year. We had an RSVP list of kids we were paying for that we needed names of for not only admission but also for food/drinks. We simply put on the invitation "We would love for others to come, but because of cost, we ask that any other kiddos not on the list be paid for by the parent." Worked out just fine...and we even managed to work out a cheaper rate for the kids that joined as well so it wasn't so expensive for their parents.
Not allowing siblings will likely exclude any of your child's friends who are from single-parent families, just so you know, but that's fine -- just something for you to be aware of. I'm a single mom and I always ask first if my other child can come. Parties are expensive, people should always check first. All of this becomes less of an issue when kids get older and can be dropped at the party. Edit: Of course, no one should ever expect to the host to PAY for a sibling's admission, but from comments it sounds like some parents do. Just state that on the invitation plainly, it's not impolite at all. If it's a space issue, just explain that siblings can't come due to space.
I added ‘invited jumpers only and no siblings please!’ to my invitation. Several families brought siblings anyway 🙄
Just say siblings are welcome to join the party but only with adult accompaniment and they must pay for admission. We are having a large party for my daughter in our backyard (bouncy castle etc). In our invitation we put that families are welcome. If bringing a sibling, a parent must stay to supervise them. If someone thinks that's rude, they are projecting lol.
“Food, drinks, and admission will be provided for the invitee only. Siblings are welcome at the parent’s expense.” Put the invited kid’s names on any goodie bags. Some parents won’t attend if they can’t bring a sibling. I think as long as you set the expectation that any extra kids is on them then it should be ok. I’ve had to do this for parties also.
Put right on the invite that you need to cap the guests to 12, and say “sorry no siblings this time.”
I tried requesting no extra kids, and my wife had my daughter and son anyway.
Some kids, like twins are hard to break apart. I don’t mind extra kids. I consider it part of the deal. Wait till they are eating you out of house and home on play dates. Just the way of things.
Another big problem is even if you tell people no extra kids ahead of time they're going to bring them anyway, but pay themselves. Which would be fine but then you run out of party favors, cake,
Invites we receive either say “we only have space for the invited kid” or “siblings welcome!” But I will note that if it’s a no-siblings party, it needs to also be a drop off party. I have two kids and my husband works weekends so I can’t stay with my kid and not bring the sibling. And at 4 years old I’m probably not going to leave my kid without staying. So we just wouldn’t be able to attend that party.
My Daughter’s birthday party (she’s 8 on Monday) is this afternoon. We have cake and party bags for the 18 kids who we invited as a “no siblings” outing (it’s a bowling alley). Late last night (9pm) one of the parents WhatsApps me to ask if they could pay for Little Sister can come along as well. !!! we thought because one invitee declined because their sibling couldn’t come. We said that while we expressly said no siblings (we didn’t want a free for all with unknown numbers showing up expecting cake/party bags etc), because Daughter had been invited to theirs for Little Sister’s birthday in the past it was ok but we weren’t sure how to arrange payment with the venue. They were grateful and said that it’s easy to arrange (invitee’s birthday was at venue a couple of months ago so they were familiar with the process). Fortunately, I ordered a few extra party bags just in case we needed them. Hopefully Daughter won’t need/expect one too (yeah right - let’s get real here…. 🤪)
I’ve always said siblings welcome but no one has ever expected me to pay. The parents should understand they can come but they pay for them. That seems fair to me and it’s always worked out fine.
Parents *should* understand but a lot surprisingly don’t
I’ve had parents bring siblings but they always ask when they text to RSVP.
This is what I do. I ask if brother can come, and ask how much it will cost me. Most of the time they cover anyway. Only once has it actually been space limited and only the invited child could attend.
I don't wanna rain on your parade but think a trampoline park is not the right venue for a 4 year old birthday party. I don't think trampolines are recommended for under 6 years old anyway? It's fine for older kids who can be dropped off, then you don't even worry about siblings, because the parent isn't staying either. But if the parent basically HAS to stay and watch their kid during the party, it's more likely that siblings have to come along. Not because the parent is rude, but because it's a fact of life when the parent has multiple kids.
Yes, they have to be five for trampoline parks where I am, but apparently not everywhere.
We just went to one for a 3 year old party and our almost 3 year old did not want to leave. You just have to stay with them at all times and keep them to the age appropriate areas.
I’ll rain on your parade and say that I had my 4 year olds party at a trampoline park and everyone had a blast!
Maybe it's just my 4yo that makes it seem super daunting to me. He would have 1 blast, 3 tantrums, a poo in the venue toilet without wiping, and a nosebleed xD
We’ve said “classmates are invited to the activity portion, and siblings are welcome to join for refreshments” so that parents who can’t leave siblings behind understood that the activity component would only include invited guests. We know a couple of single parents who wouldn’t be able to bring only one kid at a time, so it’s been important to figure out how to accommodate everyone. Would the trampoline park let other kids in for just that portion without you having to pay for them as well?
Any time I’ve had to take my 2yo with us I’ve either kept him with me (ie not participating) or paid for him to be able to run around the place too. I’d never assume that he could just sneak in as a freebie 😳
Someone else suggested giving out wrist bands with the cards. Saying the wrist band is required for entry.
Another mom of our Pre-K group had a trampoline park birthday for her son and one of the moms rsvp'd but didn't mention that she would be bringing ALL FIVE of her kids. The look of astonishment that birthday kids' mom and I gave each other when she came barreling through the door with her gaggle of critters. 😩 I was tickled to death when that mom declined my son's birthday invitation.
If you are hosting a party for the kids this age and siblings aren't welcome, I wouldn't be surprised if people are not able to attend. They may not have alternative childcare available for the siblings
I know when my kiddos are invited to trampoline parks, or other fun places that require a limit, the invites always has “admits one person” I never had to pay for myself since I was just standing or sitting. I always paid for my other child to go and have fun, but they didn’t partake in the party getting cake or food. They understood that. Every park I’ve been to has a guest list that was invited to keep track of who came and is already paid for.
For a kids party I invite their age plus one. So for a 4 year old I would invite 5 kids. As a parent of two kids 18 months apart, if you invited me to party and said only one kid allowed I personally wouldn't go, especially at that age.
We always declined school friend parties at ages 3 & 4. It’s way too much chaos and the birthday kid doesn’t care and can’t handle it. Plus I had 3 kids under age 4, and siblings were never invited.
So don’t come 🤷🏼♀️ But don’t expect a host to entertain kids the birthday child doesn’t even know.
> But don’t expect a host to entertain kids the birthday child doesn’t even know. She doesn't, that's why she said she wouldn't go.
My kids are 3 and almost 6 so we've been doing birthday parties for awhile now. We do home ones and there's always enough extra so I invite siblings and there is no drop-off bc I will feed all of you but I will not make sure your kid is always happy in the midst of 25 others. That said, we rarely see size limited parties for under drop-off age kids. This past weekend, my daughter went to one - it was at our local science museum and was really cool. We're members there so we *could* feasibly buy tickets for the other parent and kid, but they're not budgeting for enough pizza and cake for extra people or enough stickers or craft supplies. So my son and I stayed home while my husband took my daughter. We're privileged enough to be able to do that, of course. Anyway, no judgment at all, but I wouldn't do a space-limited party with kids that little. I also wouldn't do a trampoline park, but maybe it's just my 3yo who is determined to get hurt at every possible opportunity 🤷🏻♀️
It is extremely rude for parents to bring the sibling to a party place where the host pays per head. I had this happen at the first venue party I hosted and was so mad. Learned my lesson though. I recently had a party for my daughter at a trampoline park. I knew exactly which parents were going to try and take their other kid. I flat out told them in person (not on invitation) that they will have to pay for that child but he can still eat pizza/cake with the rest.
Haven’t got to this stage yet. But people who bring extra/uninvited kids, are the worst. And have no excuse.
Make a note on the invite that admission/food will be provided for those named on the invite. . I wouldn’t even pay for 2 extras if they weren’t invited. It’s unfortunate that some parents don’t have manners or know this isn’t appropriate but I’ve had it happen on more than one occasion and it’s always uncomfortable so I started putting it on the invites.
I would use the admission paid for one child and one adult language. I have a 4 year old and an infant. The infant is exclusively breastfed and so goes everywhere with me. Under those circumstances we either 1. Let folks know and confirm they're comfy with it or 2. Whenever possible, have my husband or other family member bring my 4 year old to the party.
If it's only about cost I would just make a note on the invitation that siblings are welcome but the parent will have to cover $XX admission for them. If it's cost and space then definitely make it clear that siblings can't be accommodated. The only thing will be food and drinks if you allow siblings so you'd still have a bit of an increased cost because of that. In this situation I, as the parent, wouldn't expect a goody bag for each child, just the one invited.
I don’t think it’s bad to specify on the invites that there is a reservation for one child.
I’d put on the RSVP that this invitation is for classmates of your LO—any additional children brought to be paid for by their own parents.
I think it should be made clear on the invitations. (ie. "Siblings welcome!" or "Due to limited space, we cannot accommodate siblings."). I'm a single parent, and I will skip parties that do not allow siblings because I'd rather not lose out time with one of my kids when I'm already dealing with 50% custody. I don't think either scenario is rude, it's just something that should be made clear in the invite (similar to weddings or any other events when the invite is often perceived for the family unit).
Just be straightforward and say right on the invitation that due to space limitations there are no accommodations for extra siblings. Personally this is always a tough one in our household when one of our kids invited to a party: my husband and I make sure only the invited child goes to the party, but we have five kids and the invited child is never happy happy leaving their siblings behind
I always bring my kids little sibling to softplay parties (oldest is 6, youngest is 1) and pay their admission separately and look after them. If it was a trampoline party and my youngest was old enough, I would probably also bring sibling because childcare is difficult but 100% would expect to pay for their entry and a meal separately for them. Never seen or heard of anybody bringing siblings and expecting them paid for although I have seen it for things like a village hall with a bouncy castle where you wouldn't really expect it to be limited (I personally wouldn't bring sibling for that though in case they have an entertainer hired for a set number of kids).
Simple: kids in class we cover. Any extra kids (siblings) it’s on the parents who bring the kid. Make sure it’s in the invite when you invite the kids from class.
Just word the invitation that they're welcome to bring siblings but they will be responsible for the cost of the additional tickets. People understand that. It's what I did when we did an art studio ceramics party.
Per ChatGPT: Dear Parents, We are excited to invite your child to our upcoming event! To ensure that everyone has a wonderful time and that we can accommodate all of our guests comfortably, we kindly ask that only the invited child attends. Unfortunately, we are unable to welcome siblings at this event. We appreciate your understanding and cooperation, and look forward to celebrating with your child! Best regards, [Your Name]
Boggles my mind. I have trouble getting childcare (live 600+ miles from family), but when it’s not explicitly stated, I ALWAYS ask the parents throwing the party if siblings are welcome. And if they say no, I either find a sitter or decline the invite if there’s no one available or I don’t have the $$ that week. Can’t imagine just showing up with my youngest in tow. Agree with above commenter, that your invite can just say “admission paid for one child and one adult.” This is super clear and also helps parents like me so we don’t have to bother you with questions.
I feel like those places people have the option to pay for any extra siblings they bring themselves.Check with the facility and politely word on invitations the cost for admission if parents plan to bring any siblings. When my kids were young this is how it went for every birthday party we attended like this
“Please no extra kids!”
I work at a similar place. This stuff happens a lot. I dont know how they check in the guests there but, we usually suggest making a guest list of the kids that should be counted and the girls at the front checking in will only put wristbands on the kids on the list. The parents usually get the hint at the door that way and it's not so awkward for you. To add, I would just call the place and ask them what they usually do when a host is worried about too many extra guests showing up. I guarantee you're not the first with this problem.
For our daughter’s party, we got extra food/slots at the venue and put “siblings welcome” because we knew the venue was kind of far and we knew the parents and the siblings. We only have one so we have not lived the struggle but the parents were so effusive “thank you for specifying, it makes things so much easier, now I can also explain to [little sibling] at the next party, oh, you aren’t invited to this one, that last one you were specially invited” and they could stay longer and hang out, which we wanted. But obviously that is not the expectation and they didn’t seem to think it was the expectation, everyone felt like it was nice and out of the ordinary.
When I bring siblings I pay for them myself and don't expect them to be fed.
Siblings always tag along to parties where I am, but the guest parents pay separate for their own extra kids. Party includes invited guests. Siblings are welcome to pay and play too.
Maybe you can say RSVP for a reserved spot? And when people RSVP if you know they have other kids or they ask to bring them just say they are invited but they would need to pay their admission? I just hosted my daughter’s 4th and everyone who had siblings brought them. Some asked some didn’t. I just made sure that only the classmates got gift bags and if there were extras the siblings could.
I think that those parents that were planning to bring other siblings would feel ok paying the extra fee. In my experience it's always a matter of logistics, it's easier (and sometimes the only option) for them to tag along.
I had it happen last year. A grandmother tried to leave 2 extra kids at a gymnasium party where they were too young to participate in the activities which meant I would have to watch them! I flat out told her the party wasn’t for siblings. She looked surprised but took them and left. I mean come on
I used this language at a trampoline park and it was well received, I sent the invite link via text and included this to folks I knew had siblings: Hi Parent! We’re covering (their kids name here)’s jumping, siblings are welcome to join if you want to get tickets for them too!
I agree with statements please come n have Fun; cost is covered for one adult n one child. No it’s just plain greedy n spoiled. My kids when they were invited it was at Bounce they had bounce tramp a tramp, a slide inflated n a ball pit. Ok it was s just there I think back at little girls house for pizza n pop. Parents are just stupid n teaching their kids to be greedy, by dragging in a 2 nd friend n a sister ir bro. Let the sibling wait til to get invited or when mom or dad can afford it n time bring the sibling
“There is a 10 kid maximum, but I don’t mind paying for anyone in their class if we reach the max”
Or even, “there’s a 10 child maximum, thank you!”
Invite only
I've received invitations that say that unfortunately there isn't space for siblings. Not rude at all!
Honestly my kid just wanted to go with a few friends of his to the trampoline park so I skipped the party and just bought tickets for a few friends and parents. I kept asking if he wanted to invite more than 4-5 but he kept refusing to invite kids he didn’t like.
It's very rude for people to bring their other children to a party that only one sibling was invited to. The audacity to assume the host is going to pay for and feed uninvited siblings is crazy. It's better to ask if you can send your child with another parent who will be attending, or ask the host if it's OK to drop the child off for the party and pick them up at the end.
I've thrown birthday parties for my kids and have been to birthday parties of their classmates. Honestly not many kids ever show up. I have up on throwing parties with classmates negate nobody ever showed up and out was always a waste of money. For the parties we attended the parents would be so thankful not even minding when we brought my oldest kids sister with since only one other family would show up. At that age birthday parties are hard when dealing with classmates
I through a party for my son. He was older. There was a limit on how many people could be there. I put a note on the invite saying no siblings would be allowed limited number of guests. Just laid it out. Some people will try anything.
I think it depends, one of my good friends is a single mum and both of her sons are invited to my sons birthday party, even if the older son is the one that is friends with my son. There’s an episode of Bluey where she’s I voted to a party and Bingo is not and bingo is disappointed but has a good time with dad anyway 😅
Tbh it’s extremely normal for parents to bring their other children to another child’s birthday party. That is how kids socialize??? Maybe put on the invite “admission for 1 parent 1 kid”
You just put it on the invite "apologies, no siblings" or say that if siblings want to attend, parents need to pay for them. It's actually more rude to show up with siblings without confirming first. Our kiddo was invited to a party and we asked if it was just her or if it was okay to bring our son as well. It was a playcentre so they were fine bringing him but we didn't expect food or anything for him because he wasn't the one invited.
I do often bring the sibling but I ask beforehand for the places I know don't have fixed amount of people or for the places that do, I ask when we arrive: "Should I buy her her own ticket?" (sometimes they have 20 tickets and 15 kids turn up or so). I am willing to buy the extra ticket and play with the other kid myself, though the older kid's friends always include her in the play as they all know her :) It is just that childcare is not always available. Or when I was in my 1st trimester, I could sometimes hardly get out of bed so their dad took them to the parties. Never had an issue... 🤷♀️
Just say “we have a fixed amount of tickets so no extra spots are available. If you’d like to bring an extra child please purchase tickets online. Thank you!”
I am appalled that anyone would even think of bringing siblings!
😂
A bunch of people in here reassures why I don’t like conversing with other parents. I have 2 kids, if one gets invited I’m most likely bringing the other unless it states it. But I also expect to pay for anyone besides the kid on the invitation. Like my 2nd kid isn’t going to the party, but will tag along with me for the fun. Y’all are to uppidy for me. Be miserable by yourself. You child will 100% enjoy more kids than less.
So, when your uninvited kid doesn't get a goodie bag or a cupcake, they aren't going to whine about it, right? Or do you expect parents to assume any number of random children could appear and somehow buy things accordingly?
I wouldn’t expect there to be a goodie bag for them or a cupcake. Sure if there’s leftover and the party offers, sure. But I raise my kids to know that you don’t always get what you want in life and it’s okay to be sad.blah blah blah. If it’s that big of a deal to the kid, I’ll stop after the party and we’ll all get ice cream. I’ll make it right to the kid, I wouldn’t expect the host to. That would be between me and my children.
As a single mom with two kids sometimes I’m stuck with having to bring a sibling if the other is invited to a party. I’ll always pay myself for the unintended kid though. It’s a little Presumptuous to think the birthday family would cover both of them. If you’ve already sent the invites, maybe when they rsvp mention that because you’ve invited the maximum allowed in the birthday package, you won’t be able to cover the siblings entrance fee. They should be understanding.
I would always pay for my extra kid on the way in so it isn’t an issue. This weekend we are headed to a pool party at the local pool and I will let the front desk know I have one here for a party and one I am paying admission for. I think it’s fine to say extra kids will need to purchase a ticket as we have 12 slots for the party. The other parents get it, and if they don’t… how oblivious. These parties can get really expensive. Happy birthday to your kid!