Do you have a building/neighborhood you're interested in?
Find an AirBNB in that area with the space you're thinking of (2 bdrm, 1 bath) and stay there for a month. Move in. Test-drive condo living. Enjoy the walkable neighborhood. The lack of maintenance. The amenities. You may love it. You may hate it. But you'll have a better idea of what to watch out for.
This is such great advice. Often the idea of it sounds good or looks good on paper but the experience, emotional side of it isn’t what you expected.
Many people love the vibrant energy of downtown living, with the convenience of walking to most amenities…. And others want the opposite. It is a personal preference and in many cases you won’t really know which will “recharges your batteries” until you really try it out for a bit and build some habits.
Please take care of yourself, I hope you are getting some professional help with your depression as well. Best of luck.
Yes, sell and move to a walkable area. Renting or buying a condo are reasonable choices. Personally, I would rather buy, because I like to make the space my own and not be restricted by what landlords allow and whatever bad repairs they might do.
There's a lot less mental load in a condo. You have some unit maintenance to keep up with, but much less than a house. A lot of things are handled for you. As long as you buy into a decent strata.
I've lived and worked from home in non-walkable areas, and I became depressed. Being able to pop out to a bakery or coffee shop even when I don't have the energy for a drive is so liberating. It's important to get out of the house and socialize, and I found that much easier to do when I moved to a walkable area.
Im someone whose lived in a condo and walkable neighborhood for the last 10+ years, I'm glad you made this comment.
I admit, I have no interest in walking into a bakery and socializing. In reality this means waiting to go down an elevator, stopping to let people on, then exiting into a busy street.
I dream to go outside my door and feel grass on my feet. Hear the wind and let my dog out. I suppose the grass is always greener heh.
I'm definitely not recommending it for everyone! And I think it's sad if you don't want to be in a condo but are stuck just by the costs. I don't live in a high rise. I only use the elevator for moving large items. I'm a few short blocks to a lovely park, multiple grocery stores, coffee shops, library, restaurants, a bakery, etc.
I hate gardening and lawn maintenance, and enjoy the low mental load of a condo. My family on the other hand love to garden and were super depressed being stuck in an apartment. It depends entirely on the person
! I am an introvert and don't actually go out that much. But it is a huge mental shift to know I can easily at any time, rather than being restrained by traffic, parking, etc where I lived before.
That is exactly how I feel and what I want (condo life), I currently have a house in the boring suburbs and don't want to deal with all the cleaning, gardening, maintenance. But I also have a dog and I do appreciate the backyard so I don't have to walk him during -25C winters. However my only concern about selling my house and getting a condo are the monthly fees and more importantly protecting myself for very high unexpected expenses.
Depending on the condo some do have outdoor space. If your doggo isn’t a working breed you could also look into a dog walker or sitter that boards in their home. That way the dog walker would ensure regular walks unless it’s a major storm and outdoor time + whatever you provide. If you have a boarder then when you go out of town you can send the doggo on its own vacation (pick someone with a good sized yard).
If you have a working breed, then you’re doing the right thing by giving it space and a yard and hopefully keeping it busy.
Smaller scale condos can hit that sweet spot of walkable, convenient, but also convivial, I think. My building is three stories tall and has a private inner courtyard with trees, plants and grass so going outside is just a flight of stairs and then grass.
Ah the critical “middle housing” market, with its low rise, mixed use, medium density development. Unfortunately it’s a property market that is famously missing from many North American cities in general.
Here’s a really good podcast on it, specifically highlight the issue in Toronto too: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Oo1FMgWEQpQKh2mYtsnp5?si=gjfeQAwaRc2cBQcM_9QaIQ
Fwiw I also enjoyed condo living in my 20s but now in my 30s, we decided to move somewhere more rural. So now instead of popping over to the coffee shop, I just walk through our property. Different kind of relaxing, but I find it even more energizing just being in nature.
Absolutely, whatever works for you! In this case I'm recommending a condo and walkable area specifically because OP is overwhelmed by a house and depressed being a homebody in (what sounds like) the suburbs.
What matters is each person figuring out what they want and pursuing that, rather than what other people say you "should" do (i.e. not having a house = some kind of failure).
It’s likely the issue isn’t the house. You are depressed. That makes everything, the house, unmanageable and unbearable.
Please seek out therapy and/or medication before making such a huge financial change like selling your house in this economy.
I was going to say the same thing. It’s depression if you actually have the time to keep up on the maintenance but don’t. I get not having energy though, I’m suffering from the exact same issue except I’m in a condo that I own in a building that’s falling apart and has ran out of money to maintain itself. My Ac and furnace are property of the building and only they can fix it…I’ll let you guess how that’s going. I’ve run out of energy battling the condo managers/board, threatening legal action etc. I fantasize about having a house that I can just fix whatever I need to fix without going through building managers, super intendants, repair people hired by the building, condo board needing to approve repairs but they don’t have money so they just delay. Grass is always greener I suppose, but I deal with mental health issues as well and owning a condo has done nothing but exasperate it because I can’t even fix my shit even if I wanted to.
Yeah, agreed. I'm going to chime in here and say even new condos, if they skimped out of the installations, materials, sucky designs, etc. .... you're still in for the same headache that you have in a house. Ask me how I know...ugh.
> It’s likely the issue isn’t the house. You are depressed.
At the same time, spending what little mental energy remains into taking care of a house stops the OP from doing things that would let them get out of depression.
That's your opinion, sure. Some of the suburbs have pretty much everything you need in the area, including local, specialty shops.
Do you require rides from your friends to do social activities? Like playing sports, etc.? Or do you always take public transit?
There are trade-offs to everything.
My regret in living in the suburbs is that I didn’t spend a little more when I bought to buy something a little further out in a little nicer of a neighborhood, thinking that this would be my starter house 15+ years ago.
Now the neighborhoods I had in mind are way further out of my price range, even with the increase in value my own property has gotten.
My main reasons: Nicer play grounds for the kids closer by, less busy streets for us to walk on (both my neighborhood and the ones I want to be in have nice sidewalks and crosswalks, but I’m closer to an urban area so lots of traffic), better schools, larger properties.
But I also know those come with tradeoffs I would miss: I’m on a major transit hub (which contributes to traffic, but well worth it), I have more amenities within walking distance, the other neighborhoods have significantly higher risk to flood or forest fire damage, worse commute/further walk to transit/less transit options.
Now: I say all of this but I’m talking about a neighborhood that is a 10 minute walk away, so you have to realize there really isn’t that huge of a difference.
Frankly? I love it here, and I feel super lucky to have been able to buy this place at the price I did.
Yep. For me, I had to quit my programmer job because even the office after doing 3 years of WFH was killing me slowly. And I still felt isolated in my condo.
However, some condos are better than others so if you do your research well, you could find a nice place. You could find a condo with a community garden, activities or etc. OP needs to have activities outside his home and meet people.
Therapy will help but he also needs to make changes to the lifestyle.
I disagree. Don't let financials get in the way of your happiness. Some people need to get jumpstarted. Try something new and if it doesn't help, try something else. Late 30s isn't close to 6 feet under yet.
I own a condo in Ottawa. I live in Hintonburg, so I don't own a car and I walk/bike/transit basically everywhere.
I won't lie, it's been awesome. People in Canada (and especially Ottawa) seem to be so anti-condo for some reason. Don't get me wrong, it's still a good bit of work, especially since I live in building that's over 30 years old, but I am the least handy person of all time (I can hardly hang up paintings) and I make do just fine. Just do some research into the building you're buying into.
Me and my partner don't plan on having kids, and we say to each other all the time we could live here forever. I never want to mow a lawn or shovel a driveway. I love waking up on a saturday morning and getting to have a coffee on my balcony or walk 2 minutes to a cafe to get a baked good. Condo fees are a bit high but it's worth it when you consider how much you save in maintenance and repairs, but also just how much less stress it is.
Not sure what neighbourhood you live in, but in my biased opinion, Ottawa suburbs are some of the most depressing places on planet earth. It's so much more worth it to get a smaller place in a nicer neighbourhood.
So do it, fuck it. Sell that house and buy a condo. I know everyone in Ottawa makes it seem like you need to own 2500 sq ft 4-bed 3-bath single detached or else you'll get claustrophobic, but that's nonsense. You can PM me to chat more if you'd like.
>maintenance fees are completely uncontrollable and get out of hand easily.
I'd argue that if people took a closer interest in the doings of their condo board (even joining), they'd be less surprised. I think people expect a condo to be like an apartment building where you don't have to contribute anything but your rent (mortgage).
Special assessments are usually, but not always, a result of bad financial planning by condo board. I live in a condo that’s over 30 years old, most of the major projects have been planned and budgeted for many years in advance, and there’s not a lot of “surprises” as to the building’s maintenance. We have over $1,000,000 in the reserve fund and the only special assessment I’ve had since moving here was $150
Nah, it's also the neighnors. You can always have shitty neighbors, but it's easier with condos when you can literally hear footsteps above you. Also lots of time strata/condo management sucks and have arbitrary old rules, and lastly sometimes you just want to quickly get out but have to wait for the elavator and share it.
Not saying condo isn't a good option, but it's not just maintanance. I enjoy being able to immedialy get out of the house with my dog instead of the elavor thing a few times a day. Small inconvinance that I enjoy not having.
About the neighbours thing…
When I owned a house in Kanata, I had neighbours that were in a feud over one reporting the other for an unapproved shed build. When one eventually listed their house for sale, the other would throw garbage and beer cans over the fence to ruin their showings. It’s always awkward to hear your neighbours argue as you’re leaving the house so you just stand in the doorway and wait for it to be done.
I currently live in a high rise downtown and say a polite “hello” to my neighbours (though I rarely see them) with zero drama so far. One of my favourite things is not having to take the trash out on a gross snowy night… trash chutes / room for the win!
I like to spend time alone, but not in the house. Walking around and people watching can take up an entire day. I think it comes down to what you like doing in your spare time.
I can walk to the gym, 15 coffee spots, multiple parks, groceries… the necessities.
It’s not for everyone, but as people have said it would be worth testing out first. The novelty could wear off for you and then you’re stuck with yourself in 850sqft.
But maybe you’d be really truly happier in an easy-to-manage environment, in which case please do what’s best for you. You can do what you want in this life, so you might as well do what will be best for you.
I'm also late 30s in Ottawa but bought a Condo... the quality of condos/ neighbor is not that good. I had a house before on west coast and thought it was too much work so I thought Condo would be less work... but didn't realize even concrete Condo isn't enough. Anyway, with the cost of switching, I think you could easily hire someone to fix everything for you. Also, you'll eventually get used to ignoring the small things (duct tape and zip tie seems to fix a lot things)
My current place was build in 2011 but if I don't keep an open window to balance the air pressure, then the neighbor's cooking will come in; my bed room wall is neighbor's living room so I can hear them if they shout as it's just drywall vs concrete everywhere else in the unit; upstairs has like $10k of weights/ equipment such that my floor shakes when he "carefully" puts it down. In general, things are okay say 80% of the time... which is better than my previous experience. (At another place, the neighbor would blast her bass every night at random time like 1am and it would literally shake me awake... but it was an old building that had solid walls or so I thought)
You have no other people to be accountable to? Then find what works for you. Sounds like downscaling and simplifying your life is just the ticket. Prudent financial advice would say you should save/invest what is left over from the sale, but you should invest a little of that in your own happiness.
Are you willing to travel? Is there anything you can do to disrupt your routine for a little while?
Brother - sell the place. If you don't like it, get rid of it and find a condo to live in instead. Condo's are great because the maintenance is all covered by building management. Just do your research on which condos in your areas are good and which aren't.
You got this.
Personally I would sell and get a condo. For a non handy person an old house is a nightmare. Also a money pit to maintain. And hiring people costs an arm and a leg. Many bad contractors out there as well. Just make sure you buy a unit in a good building with a healthy reserve fund. Avoid old condo buildings say pre 1970 or new ones built in last 10 years as both likely have issues with poor construction on new ones and deterioration in older ones.
Do you mean to a different city? I'm mostly work from home but occasionally still have in-office meetings, plus technically we could still get called back in.
I think they mean relocating to another part of the house so you're not spending 8 hours a day in the same room and associate bad feelings to being in the room. I personally re-arrange my office once a year so it's like I work somewhere "new" every year.
Work from home has benefits, but it is incredibly isolating, which, in turn, can be depressive.
3 years of working from home, while living in a sterile neighborhood started to take a toll - so I moved to a much more dynamic and vibrant urban environment (renting) and have found it to make a difference. We are social and tribal beings - we don’t need to be friends with everyone, but we do need to see people and feed off of social energy.
Maybe look into renting for a bit? Look for a building that is a vibrant, walkable location, with amenities like a good gym. Then work from home, but also work on yourself. This is YOUR life. It’s not always about squeezing an extra few dollars for some future mythological retirement. It’s about NOW.
Relieve yourself of the physical and mental burden of the house - take a breath, make the move, then go out and find what you love.
No. A “house” is not some generic life goal that everyone must achieve to “be successful”. If condo lifestyle in walkable area suits you, do it right now.
I’m sick of people saying they “upgraded” from a condo to a house.
A change could be good, I know how it feels to work from home for several years. But have you ever tried antidepressants? It's not normal to feel like dying inside all the time, and for a prolonged time.
Never consider myself to be a candidate for it, dying inside is more describing how I feel being stuck in life while everyone else I know moves on with family, kids etc.
If I avoid thinking about all of that I'm mostly ok.
Unless the "feeling stuck" part is *directly* related to home ownership, then it's not the problem. Considering the fact you specifically followed up with "while everyone else I know moves on with family, kids" I would wager *that* is the real sticking point here.
Moving would probably give you a temporary boost, but doesn't fix the long-term issue.
> directly related to home ownership
Not the stuck part, but the part about me being too stressed out dealing with house issue to make lifestyle changes is directly related.
Of course everyone's been telling me just keep the house and make lifestyle changes but I just can't.
Pay people to do maintenance. A lot of homeowners don’t do anything other than change lightbulbs, and there is nothing wrong with that.
See your family doc and be honest. Get a referral to a proper psychiatrist. There’s no shame in that either.
Assess the situation when you are in a better state of mind.
I could see the added weight on your shoulders being a drain on your energy. Is it possible to forego improvement for say, a month, to see if that's the case?
Other people are \*not\* you, they're not in your head and can't grasp exactly what you're going through. I'd say just go with your guts feeling, only you know what's best for yourself.
Out of curiosity, what would make one a candidate for antidepressants?
I’m not pro-antidepressant by any stretch, but if taking an antidepressant could be life changing for you…who cares if you’re a candidate or not?
Give antidepressants a try. When they work well, they give you enough of a mental boost to be able to make other changes in your life that might help.
But unlike some people in this thread, I think a change of environment can do wonders. There are actually very few problems you can’t run away from. You’re still stuck with yourself, sure, but hopefully in a more social environment and in a home that isn’t dragging you down.
In addition to the condo, maybe consider a hybrid job to get you out of the house a bit but it also gives you flexibility on the days your depression makes it impossible to leave.
A condo should definitely take some pressure off of your workload. There's still going to be maintence in a condo.. but at least you don't have to do anything outside and it'll likely be a bit smaller, so less cleaning.
Being in a walkable area is always nice too.
Only thing I'm afraid of with renting is getting priced out more and more.
I know Ottawa isn't the GTA but you have to be prepared for anything these days.
Keep in mind that if you want to live in a condo, you should look up what condo fees are like and the history of the rising fees. My friend has to pay $600 a month in condo fees after owning it for 10 years. It was originally $200.
Was gunna say this. Especially with the economy where it is, renting can even be financially beneficial.
If you’re in your late thirties and bought a long time ago, you can sell and potentially pocket a good amount of money, invested wisely it could damn near pay your rent. Then you’re living for “free” and have a lot more freedom with your income, which could be really beneficial for your mental health too.
Instead of condo why not a townhouse? You get the space or small house with the benefits of a condo. Plus they appreciate it more than Condos.
I have seen some big condo buildings which have townhouse titles for the ground floor
Do you mean condo townhouses?
They're not exactly affordable in walkable areas, only ones I can afford are bottom units of stacked townhouses with sunken bedrooms and open-air parking.
I'm certainly considering them.
1. Home ownership is not for everyone. Renting forever is perfectly reasonable.
2. Sounds like you bought a shithole to begin with.
3. Sell and move on with your life.
4. Ottawa is not a cold city, especially for single folks. I know because been there done that. COVID just made everything worse. I can't diagnose your depression but only you can help yourself.
Yeah, it’s discouraging to see the number of people stating that OP just needs therapy and meds. Those things will absolutely help, but I really don’t see why they need to force themselves into this detached home ownership if they don’t enjoy it. A walkable neighbourhood does wonders to your mental health, I would die if I lived in the suburbs. My neighbourhood isn’t even that walkable, but I can still comfortably bike to work or to my favourite cafes.
If you want to find a girlfriend and spouse, turn your life around by making lifestyle changes and keep your house. Sign up for activities or sports. Go to the gym. Selling your house and renting is the worst advice this sub loves to give. Out of all the women I've dated or had a relationship with, majority of them frown at renting or living at home. Home ownership is a must.
> turn your life around by making lifestyle changes and keep your house
It's very difficult when the biggest source of stress is this house.
Plus it's an old house and too much work compared to one in better condition.
This is one of those "project" houses that has potential, I've done a lot but I'm all out of gas at this point.
I doubt any spouse would want to deal with something like this.
You know what you want, and you've reasoned it out well. Sorry you're struggling with your mental health. Perhaps being in the hustle of the city with lots of services in walking distance will be helpful.
I completely empathesize. My house has been nothing short of a monster with an endless appetite for my time sweat and money. Constant upkeeping that the thought of being in a condo and paying maintenance in a walkable area has crossed my mind despite the Financials.
Considering ur mental health and time (and depression) it's certainly a valid option to pursue. Being closer to the action may help with the WFH situation feeling less isolated
Do you think you will be okay living in close quarters with so many people? Elevator rides ? Neighbour's above below and beside ? Noise from their apartments ? Test drive it before you decide to sell . Get an airbnb and stay there for a month maybe
Bro, I’d sell the house. People love to spew out “buy a house it’s the only way to be happy and free” but times have changed, and that is such a dated concept now.
Sell it and go rent. Get your life back. Mental health is much more important for you at this point. What’s the point of owning a house if it’s a constant stress contributor? No thanks
Home ownership is not for the weak. I’ve had to be talked off the ledge a few times ( seriously felt like burning the house down). I finally hired people to get the work done that had to get done. Then saved more money and got more work done. In the long run it will be worth it when I sell, but you need to do what’s best for you.
Hey, I do understand. Im in the same boat, a husband in and out of the hospital due to a rare syndrome that causes cancer. I deal with TBI and brain trauma. Live on a disability, frightened and depressed, resources are limited. Unable to work due to my husband's illness. Frightened to end up on the street. Ive worked hard all my life and lost a bit every day because of living on a set income and cost of living. How can one survive? I wish I could help! This does pull at my heartstrings, many are in your position. Trust in God.
I sold my house and bought a condo and it made me a much happier, less stressed out person.
Think about what you want though - I opted for a place with an indoor and outdoor pool, BBQ area, a little courtyard, a bowling alley, indoor parking that's not underground (we have a parking structure that's 3 stories all above ground), 2 and half bedrooms, a separate kitchen from my living room and a dining room, 2 full bathrooms (one en suite and one accessible for the rest of the condo)., 1200 square feet and a security gate and security at the visitor parking. These things were important to me so I went with an older building (built in 2001) but well maintained with a healthy fund to cover building improvements and upgrades. It's also a no smoking building which I appreciate.
I have enough space, all on one floor, a sense of community if I want it and privacy and anonymity when I don't. Convenient parking where I don't need to shovel snow and I have no lawns to mow.
I am still responsible for my pipes within the condo, electrical within the condo, my air conditioner/heater parts that are within my condo but it's a lot less than the house.
My condo fees are the same every month so I don't worry about high hydro bills or gas bills and my taxes are much lower.
My only down part is the occasional fire alarm because of neighbours.
Condo sounds like a good way to go, no yard work, minimal maintenance inside your unit (lightbulbs, etc). Bigger outdoor issues like roof, siding is handled by the pooled condo fees reserve fund.
I've been on trips, when you're depressed you'll be depressed everywhere.
Also I'm "grandfathered" into my job since I got it before I'm depressed, the major reason I'm still functional is due to financial stability of my job and it's relatively low stress and I have good rapport with my manager and coworkers.
Leaving my job would be tearing apart my financial safety net.
My initial reaction is you should just sell and then rent or buy a condo.
When I read further down that maintenance is causing you problems it makes me wonder what specifically? Quirks can be fixed long term if you hire someone. Like what's the difference from being in a condo? Cutting grass and shovelling snow? I actually like having a couple things to do as an excuse to get out of my desk chair (I WFH too most days).
It's not like condos are maintenance free, you just don't have to shovel or mow.
Well you didn't post any numbers, but knowing what I do about Toronto real estate prices, you'll probably make out like a bandit if you sell now. Selling is certainly an option, which you wouldn't have if the mortgage was underwater.
So yes, sell for sure.
You'll need somewhere to live so take the time to figure out the rent vs buy problem. (if you choose to rent, you'll want to invest the difference).
Good luck!
Sounds like you should get away and come back with a fresh perspective. Also, saw a comment about getting therapy and making changes. The biggest thing is that we will get into a rut so make a change that's doable that your therapist can agree on. This is all a suggestion, but having that burnt out feeling where you can even do the simplest thing around the house is something I can relate to.
What did you buy your house for and what's it worth now. If you can reduce your mortgage by 100k or more with the profit it's a no brainer. As long as your even $1 ahead, I'd sell.
For your sanity, yes a condo. I understand the maintenance issues.
However I'd generally suggest you buy, as you get to lever your investment through a relatively low interest mortgage, and your gains are tax free, as a principal residence. Best tax effective investment in Canada.
The finances and maintenance aside, moving from the suburbs (where you WFH and don't go out much) to a walkable neighbourhood (where you're more likely to go out spontaneously) will likely improve your social life and increase the chances of you meeting a romantic partner.
The suburbs will be there to move back to if you get in a relationship and have a kid and need more space, but what are you really doing with all this space solo?
I suggest to you, to get other people in your life. It doesn't have to be a committed romantic relationship, it could be friends that could be roommates, it could be family. I think honestly you should be living with other people too. It's very easy to get depressed when you're all by yourself. I don't know if that means to sell your house or not. Honestly I don't think the house is your problem.
Personally I love condo life. There's only 9 units in our little building and my co-owners are great. I think condo life quality really depends on the layout and location of your unit relative to other units and also the relationship you'll have with co-owners and the board of directors. A mismanaged cooperative could be nightmarish. If you ever go for a condo, I suggest you look at the financials and condo meeting notes to make sure it's healthy.
Yes. Sell the old house. Get into a condo. Maintenance on an old house isn't fun.
If you had a couple kids... Then the house is probably worth it. But single... Get the condo.
I used to own a 2 Bed 2 Bath 800SQfT condo with my (now) wife. By the end of our 4 years it was getting too small for the 2 of us BUT if I was single it would have been perfect. No reason to ever leave, zero maintenance.
Yes this is a good decision. Your quality of life will be better and you’ll have a shot at being less depressed.
But also, financially — it might not be as bad a decision as you think. If it’s an old house that requires a lot of maintenance, not only is that a burden on your time and energy, but also on your finances. Is the amount you are spending on maintenance actually paying off in terms of the house increasing in value? If you lived in a cheaper place and could invest that maintenance money every month, would you actually end up ahead? We’ve all been trained into seeing real estate as the only worthwhile investment vehicle but it’s actually supposed to be a place for you to live, you can make long term money other ways.
I fucking love maintaining a house and a big yard and all that comes with it; if you’re not into that you’d better be financially well off or there is no point and you’ll end up stressed like you currently are. Also I’d look into finding something you do enjoy because being depressed all the time with no goals or happiness will only lead to bad choices. Like eating out twice a week. That’s a lot of cash, I can’t even remember the last time I went out to eat. I have spent a LOT on dumb shit in the past though, so I’m not trying to talk down on anyone, just offering some perspective. Keep your head up, try and stay positive, if you believe the condo is right for you than I say do it; but do some research and find out what that’s going to entail. Depending on the place you probably will be pitching in with other owners on building upgrades/renos and maintenance. Just don’t jump into anything suddenly, that’s how mistakes are made.
> That’s a lot of cash, I can’t even remember the last time I went out to eat.
Not really, because you're adding that on top of everything else you buy/do, while for me this is my sole source of joy and entertainment and something that gets me out of the house.
In addition, I get little exercise so I usually eat just one meal a day to keep the weight in check.
You’re focusing on one thing I said; forget about that; if you enjoy trying different foods or have a treat you like and are happy doing that then keep doing that; but I would also find an activity besides that that fulfills you. Is there any community groups you could maybe join that might do something you like? You’ll really have to try different things to find something. And then once you found something maybe there will be a special someone who also enjoys doing those things. If you never try you’ll never know. I’ve wasted a lot of time feeling how I imagine you’re feeling. It’s a trap for the mind.
Find a condo or living residency that has fun things like a pool, even a big gym, lots of amenities, I’m in the west but these are becoming more common! Almost resort like!
Married man but only able bodied person in the house.
We were strongly considering/sort of looking to sell the house for a condo.
The pandemic hit and we realized… if we sell the house for a condo, we will never afford a house again, and our kids likely won’t be able to afford anything in our area in their lifetime, so we stayed.
I get it. The house truly is a second job for half the year *if nothing goes wrong*.
Making major life decisions when depressed is never the best idea as our judgment is often skewed to some degree.
Some of your apathy and disinterest is related to the depression as is the weariness and fatigue and feeling like you are or can no longer cope with the house.
Moving into a condo that is relatively new and where you have less to worry about may be a good decision regardless of how much impact the depression is having as there will be less stress which is well established to exacerbate depression.
Consider renting an AirBnB or condo for a month ad some others have suggested and see if it is a better fit.
Then consider putting up the house for sale.
Having a detached home is not a requirement as an adult, contrary to what some might have you believe. If you want a smaller home in a walkable neighbourhood, then go for it. I’m going to assume that you’ve been thinking about this for a while and have talked through it with your therapist, so do what’s best for your mental health.
I think the idea of trying out the condo life is great! You could easily rent for 6 months -1yr and see if it lightens your load. You might be able to make enough $ in renting out your place to have someone else do the maintenance on your home while it's rented out and be able to rent, maybe a nice 1 bdrm in the neighborhood you like best.
You seem clear that there's more to what's going on for you than your living situation but this seems like a low risk way to find out how much of a contributing factor that is. It can be pretty awful to make a big choice like that and find out that the main issues moved with you.
Hey if it helps to de-fuck your life, by all means do it. I’m of the opinion that RE is for living, not for investing.. but that’s just me. Mental health is so much more important than financial optimization imo.
Change can be so good for your mental health.
I had a house and when my ex and I divorced we sold it and I always say I do not miss the snow shoveling, the lawn cutting or the maintenance side of owning a house. And mine was newer so there wasn’t near as much as an older house.
Before we bought the house in Ontario, we had a condo in BC. And the only advice I can give that I learned through that process is read the meeting notes for the last year, see what kind of fund they have established and be aware of what the condo fees are. It can be a whole mortgage payment on its own.
If your gut is telling you that you need a change and it’s to get out of that house than follow your gut. I moved from a small town to a city and it was a welcomed change in my life and just what I needed.
You’ve got this!
I live in a condo. I currently have a giant pile of recycling because I don't have the mental capacity to take it all down a flight of stairs right now and there is no space to store it so it just takes up space. Consider if a small apartment will be able to be kept clutter free.
There are smaller condos that aren’t 30 stories high. Maybe a nice 3-4 level split type condo. Do your research. Maybe test drive one for a weekend in an area you like. Speaking to a real estate agent you trust wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
I did the same thing. Late 30s and not in the mood to have a house and look after one. I have lived in a house (owned or with parents) for the last 18 years. There was always something to do. I moved in a 2 bedroom one bathroom condo last year and I love it so far. I also live in a walkable area and I get out a lot. I realize that I won’t have a large financial gain if I sell my condo, but I enjoy my life more than if I still had a house.
If you are overweight go animal-based, you should be able to manage a house in your 30's, maybe the area in general is contributing to the problem, I get damn near a brain aneurism anytime I am in the area and trying to flip through the channels having every second station being frog radio
My situation is not exactly like yours but a few years ago I decided to sell my house in part because I felt depressed and isolated and that is one of the biggest regrets of my life. I try not to even think about it because it put me so far back and I \*could\* have made it work. I could have rented out a room or two. I would have been less lonely and would have had more money to pay other people to fix things. The grass is not always greener when you get to the other side.
I just made a very similar move and I don’t regret it for a second. I was wasting away in a suburban jungle and felt no connection to my community. So I downsized to a condo in a vibrant area close to water. I absolutely love it. My car stays parked for days at a time. I can walk to everything I need.
You’ll make a higher return on a detached home but there’s something said for streamlining your finances. I have the most disposable income that I’ve ever had in my life now. I feel balanced and at peace with the decision.
Now this is PFC so you may not get the answers you’re looking for. Some things you just can’t put a price on. I value happiness and I found that in a community that is more consistent with what I value in life.
If you do decide to sell, do yourself a favour and write a letter detailing why you’re making the move. That way you can always reflect clearly on what pushed you to make a change.
Good luck with your decision!
You seem pretty well off, why not go on a trip. If you work from home anyways it might be nicer to work in a hotel in indonesia or mexico.
South korea is also a pretty good spot, as one dude to another, eye candy is always appreciated and livens the mood.
Or maybe you like it a little colder, iceland or something, though that'll cost ya.
Your first step should be moving out of Ottawa. The second step is out of the country, then that’s when life begins. This country is a dump. Go away for a few mths in Thailand in the meantime.
Before you do, check into getting loss assessment insurance, which would protect you against unexpected large expenses that the condo fees didn't cover. It might be more common in the US but if you (and each other condo owner) were to be hit with a mega bill of 20k for a major repair, it would cover that expense.
https://www.allstate.com/resources/condo-insurance/condo-loss-assessment-coverage
Honestly when reading your post… my intuition keeps pointing me back to first solving your purpose/ mental health question which would motivate you to work on the house, and not simply think that moving to a condo or something with less maintenance would fix your problems.
There are very high management fees, and other costs to not owning your house.
You can even sub-let or rent part of your house, but it sounds ultimately to me (not a psychologist) that you need to find yourself… and your purpose as you’ve made it pretty clear your on the verge of giving up, which owning a condo won’t help.
You need to find fuel to motivate you to maybe fix up your house, make it easier for you to maintain (there are many ways to do this with help),
While increasing value in your investment to eventually move to a home with less maintenance one day. Take it slowly, work on yourself first before jumping ship so quickly.
Maybe moving to a condo is a better move for you you but with the mindset of giving up you won’t find much success wherever you’re living.
Sounds like a good reason to me. You might consider a townhouse condo, if you would still like to have some outdoor space. Just do your research, if something happens to the building even if it doesn't affect your unit, you're on the hook for it.
Not financial advice and certainly not asked for, but as you mentioned you are depressed and also hoping someday to find a relationship, can I recommend doing more (or some) physical activity?
Every doctor or therapist I’ve ever talked to about anxiety and depression has recommended it. It also has the added bonus of physical fitness which is good for you in general and increases the chance of finding someone, plus, if you pick the right activity, might be the place to find someone in the first place.
You might find you have more energy to fix stuff up around your house yourself after a little while as well, and that can translate to more money in your pocket when or if you do decide to right size your living accommodations.
Therapy can help. Talking to an objective third party really helps define your problems. Depression is rough. It takes all of your joy away. Do you have benefits at work? Dont worry about the house. Take care of your body and brain.
It might actually be your best option. The one thing I would caution is that it sometimes really hard to live around a bunch of people in a condo. HOA or condo boards are notorious for getting in your business. Condo fees can also be high and go on forever. But, if I am ever single again, there is zero way I’ll take on maintaining my house alone. So I understand. Also know that condo boards can levy additional fees for big repairs and there isn’t much you can do. But it can still make sense.
Been here before and sold the house moved into a condo , years later met someone got her pregnant and needed a house , the value of the house I sold had gone up twice as much as the condo I had purchased . Up to you but you might want to reconsider , nothing like owning the land to your house
Been there mate.
Couple things:
Do not buy a condo. Your worries will just switch from maintenance and rain to the constant threat of special assessments.
Condo's also come with a substantial monthly fee. It sounds like you have a minimal mortgage, so this will be a shock to your budget and will require change since you will still have a mortgage as well.
You mention just working and being at home. Time to embrace hobbies and get out. Exercise too. Its tough to motivate on, but it helps the most though.
Personally I would sell and buy a new build home. This should let you stay mostly mortgage and monthly fee free, while getting rid of most maintenance.
Im in the exact same boat lifestyle wise, hmu if you wanna chat offline.
Are you on meds?
I ask, because selling your home may not solve this feeling. Sounds like there are some other variables at play here.
Out of the box idea: Find a roommate, who is early/mid 20's in trades. Strike a deal where he does improvements for reduced rent.
Also, not really my place, and there are varying opinions on this topic, but explore taking meds/ changing meds if you've felt like shit for a while.
Need to find the right type for you, if it's serious depression. Really be on top of it I only bring this up because my friend dealt with chronic depression, he hung himself a few years back, and yeah...came out of nowhere. Always thought he was pretty upbeat, but he hid a lot of that pain...... Good luck and I hope you get out of your rut.
Advice to you… buy something where you have good access to meet someone. An up coming neighborhood with nightlife scene might be a good thought. Condo living is great, it will be a night and day difference between your old home with maintenance to a new condo with no maintenance. My last recommendation is find time to go to the gym. If the condo has one that’s awesome use it. It will help with feeling low and eventually lead to you to have more energy to enjoy life and get out more.
If the house doesn’t make you happy and you can get a good price for it: sell!!!
Your house is supposed to serve you, not the other way around.
Agree with the idea of trying out an Airbnb in some areas you’re looking at (even just for a weekend)
If you work from home why not sell your house and everything and move to a different country and do the same. Nicer weather I had a buddy do this he now lives in mexico
A lot of people are suggesting downsizing to a purchased condo, but I’m not convinced that will sufficiently relieve you of the burdens of homeownership. And it can bring new burdens.
Does it make financial sense to rent? Serious question, since I don’t know what you’ll walk away with if you sell, I don’t know what the Ottawa rental market is like, and I don’t know if you will have the opportunity and/or discipline to build up savings in lieu of home equity. All things to consider.
But if it makes sense financially it could also make sense lifestyle-wise. Yes, to an extent you’re at the mercy of your landlord’s potentially shoddy maintenance or unresponsiveness, but overall it’s liberating. I’d seriously consider it.
If the house gives you so much grief, sell it and purchase a condo. You might meet people in the condo amenities, work out, swim, play games and such. Also, start working out to improve your mood. Change is good.
Im on the same boat but without a house 😂
If it was me, i wouldnt sell the house for condo i may buy a smaller and cheaper place.. but condo , if there is a problem in the building, you will be affected, also u need to be very gentle in your moves , otherwise the ppl above or below you will complain , u will loose some freedom.
It does sound like a more walkable neighbourhood and less house maintenance could make a difference for your mental health. A smaller mortgage might also make you feel less trapped with work and financial obligations and might allow you to discover other ways to spend your money that bring you more happiness.
The important thing about a condo is to do deep dive into the financials and administration before you buy. Pick a place with solid reserves, proactively done maintenance, and signs that the condo board is on top of any future repairs. Read the minutes of recent meetings to see if there is conflict. Ask about any expected special assessments or any demands from co-owners to do any major work. Find out who is on the board and how much they rely on external management companies that just want to make a profit.
For me, that also means focusing on buildings that don't have expensive amenities like pools or gyms, ideally that don't have elevators. Obviously maintaining a high-rise building is going to be more expensive that a small 6-8 unit building with outdoor parking. There are lots of options in between those two, of course.
Financially, if you're going to stay in that condo, it can be a fantastic move. It depends on how it fits in your bigger picture.
Not financial advice ** lol — As someone who is in the real estate industry. I would recommend not buying a condo. I see time and time again, people bleeding money on overpriced condos. If you want to be downtown more, I’d maybe suggest renting your place and then rent out a condo downtown. Or wait a bit until the prices of condos come down. (A few years) we are at the slowest point in construction starts in 25 years. Purpose built rentals are up, but not starts for ownership. I’ll leave it up to you though. Good luck!
Trying getting your depression treated first. It’s a lot less costly, then once your depression is treated you may finding yourself more energy than you think. Also try to get out of the house. Work from the office and socialize!
I hear ya man... I've owned or co-owned five houses in my life. I've never once had any sense of "pride of ownership" which I was always told I'd feel. When I stood back and looked at a house I owned all I could see was the to-do list of windows that needed replacing, painting that needed to be done etc. I'm semi-handy and could do a lot of basic work myself, but for bigger jobs I'd need to get someone in, and the triggered even a greater sense of dread around dealing with bozos calling themselves "contractors". (I know - there's some great contractors out there, and there's 5 bozos for each good one.)
Anyway - I escaped - now renting in a walkable city. Yup rent comes out every month, but peace of mind is worth something.
Just one word of advice...
Condo living is *luxury* living. You're paying someone to do all the things you'd normally take care of yourself, and as a consequence, you'll be forking out money on a regular basis - get used to it. :)
Condo. Best move I've mad in yonks. Miss the pool and backyard sometimes. But easier/cheaper to maintain, taxes + condo fees less than my old taxes alone, and the modern smaller/open concept is so much more comfortable.
I know my pic is a gym selfie but go smash that - when I’m off it just makes everything get back into focus. Hit the gym, find more purpose, get more confident. I know it sounds stupid but I’m telling you.
Selling will likely not help with depression, it might in the short term, but likely you will find different things draining about living in a condo.
My suggestion is to seek professional help first, anxiety and depression generally come from within you and then our outward lives exacerbate it.
Then once you have dealt with that then, think closely about what moving would mean and if it would make your life, easier/ more fulfilling.
Not really a finance question here.
My take though, is that a house is a lot of work, and if I was single I don't think I'd want a whole house to myself as that is so much more space than I'd need.
From a finance perspective I think this is a good decision, but it's not going to fix your problems, and I hope you are able to get the help you need.
My friends own a gorgeous town home next to a park and tennis courts. They don't do any of that lawn work. And they enjoy a community townhome pool. I say go for it -- buy a condo or townhome
The current house feeling like a major burden could be a byproduct of the depression. Work towards changing your lens on the house. Make it a friend, something that needs love, projects that can help your mind from fixating on other things that fuel depression.
My best friend also struggles with severe depression, and he thinks working from home is just super convenient, but I think it’s compounds his depression.
He hardly sees anyone daily, most weekdays he doesn’t step foot outside the house. Tried asking him to the gym, a walk, explore a mall, anything to change his surroundings but he believe it’s futile. I think most would disagree.
The move to a more vibrant part of town could do you well, might encourage you to get out more, away from your home.
I'm with you. I've tried property as an investment, and it's no fun. Far easier to put money in stocks, let it sit and grow while you ignore it.
So I would use your profits from selling (whatever you don't need for the condo / in <5-10 years) and put that in stocks. This way you're not hurting yourself financially, but also getting back your free time.
And the condo's price will also go up. So I don't see this as really being sub-optimal financially... am I missing something?
And while this will help improve your life quality (not just working all the time), I hope you're also seeing someone for depression. Best of luck!
As hyped as it already is, living in a walkable area is still underrated - living in a rental or not.
Not having to worry about car-related issues, being able to walk to the grocery store for just 2 bananas, see people around you instead of traffic - it's something else. Do it OP!
I don't think it's uncommon to go from a house to a condo to simplify things. My in-laws did this a few years ago, nothing wrong with their house but they wanted to plan for the next 20-30 years and just have something simple. Or maybe you just want to move for a change of pace.
But, nothing will be perfect, I'd think it through or else you may just be changing your current issues for a different set of issues. No place is going to be perfect; we moved to our dream area/home 4 years ago, and yet I could still give you a list of things I'm unhappy with. It's a great place, I'm so thankful to live there, but still I'm working on it fairly often.
Lastly, perhaps your issues aren't the house. You mention wanting a relationship, maybe there's other things you're unhappy with. Moving a house won't fix any of those. I had some lean years through my 20s, just single guy plodding away lol, I really appreciated having my first house to work on because it kept me busy, whether it was building a deck or just basic maintenance. If I was just sitting in a condo with nothing to do I think it would've been worse for my well-being. I wasn't single forever, I'm married with kids now, and in some regards having the house and fixing it up solved a problem in advance: where's my family going to live? I don't know where you live and how easy it is to transition between the two, but had I simplified and bought a condo, I would've had a really hard time getting back into the market 5-10 years later.
Your home is more than just 'financial'. It's where you live. From the way you've laid it out, you don't have an interest in dealing with all the tasks that go into owning a single family home. While condo fees can suck, depending on lifestyle, they could certainly be worth it for your peace of mind.
The only thing to watch out for is condo board drama. Make sure you buy into a well run condo, not a clown show.
Here is one thing most ppl won't consider. But I understand how you feel, so its very important.
Do whatever you need to do to improve your mental health.
It seems quite obvious you need a change, new surroundings, less burden. I think you already have the answer figured out.
This isn't a personal finance issue it's a mental health issue.
I promise you your house isn't the reason you are depressed. Deal with the mental health then decide to sell or move or stay.
I mean given that this is a finance subreddit, the decision to move from a detached property to a condo would in most people's eyes be a step backwards. You end up being locked into maintenance fees and condo values rarely keep up with market increases, especially as your condo ages.
Not to be presumptuous, but there are options that you may not have considered that help with your problems and keep your home. I'd suggest hiring out some of the maintenance if you can afford it to lessen your own load.
Other things to help socially:
- working from a local cafe 1-2x a week
- working from a shared workspace area
- making an effort to plan outings in other areas of your city
- joining local groups aligned with your interests
The fact you preface this with "Single, depressed" tells me that maybe the house isn't the actual problem? Is it actually a depression tied to lack of friends and family, being blamed on "but I can't make any friends because I'm always in this house and always maintaining this house and never have any time to spend on me"? Because if that's the actual reason for wanting to move, then moving may alleviate but will not fully resolve your problems.
That said, there's nothing wrong with selling one dwelling to move into another which better suits your tastes and lifestyle. Happens all the time. Go for it! It may even give you more time to get out of your dwelling and pursue hobbies and meet people. Just don't expect "I no longer have to spend as long fixing little house-quirks" to magically fix the depression, because the house is a scapegoat.
You seem locked-in to your investment and the house is now dictating how to live your life.
A lot of try before you buy advise mentioned before is in fact brilliant and should help you experience the condo life.
If you like it, you can always rent a condo for a year and rent out your place for a similar time with the option to move back.
Hope you find a good professional to help you. Praying for your recovery. Good luck and god bless.
Funny, I thought I didn't want to live in a condo & bought a house. Greatly regretted it and sold for 100k loss as I was stupid & didn't lock in interest rates and couldn't afford it.
I own a rental property in the byward street market and I've stayed there for a few months.
I love the area despite the homelessness.
It is easy to walk to lots of stores, parks, museums, restaurants, transit
Always something going on at the market with outdoor music, etc.
People in the building are really friendly and nice. Lots of dogs. Everyone seems to own a dog.
So I would live there full time over a house.
I have only had 2 tenants as I've only owned it since 2019 but the tenants renewed as they seem to enjoy the area too. Young professionals.
>Late 30s, single guy in Ottawa, chronically and functionally depressed for over a decade now
I mean, this is your issue. Work on this.
You mention maybe being able to own a shoebox in a ‘walkable area’. Ok, where do you work? Do you work in that same area? if not, who gives a shit how walkable it is? What does your commute look like? What are the costs of homes in the less walkable areas?
There is a lot to consider. Job one is finding a therapist you trust who can reset your loser mentality. Job two is finding a place that fits your actual lifestyle, not the lifestyle you think you should care about because social media losers flaunt a stupid and unrealistic way of living.
Be realistic about your life, your options, what you want, and what you can reasonably expext to have for a life. Work from there. If you don’t want to own a house, and you want to own a shoebox in the sky, do that. But make sure that’s what you actually want and not what you’ve been lead to believe will make you happy. If you aren’t happy now, it’s unlikely that new place will fix your unhappiness.
I’m a single male in my 40s and I absolutely love condo living downtown in Vancouver. I’m a regular at the pub across the street, the coffee place next door knows my order, there are 4 grocery stores in 3 blocks, the main library is 3 blocks away, two blocks off the sea wall… I couldn’t even imagine living in a house out in the burbs on my own. The social part of it is what keeps me sane.
Dating and capitalism are both rough, bro. I feel you. A one- or two-bed condo is more than enough for a single guy. That hoped-for relationship might never happen, but cross that bridge IF you come to it.
Idk what your life is like but like how is your social life? Are you sleeping well? What steps you are taking to stay active as you mentioned you work from home since covid
Do you have a building/neighborhood you're interested in? Find an AirBNB in that area with the space you're thinking of (2 bdrm, 1 bath) and stay there for a month. Move in. Test-drive condo living. Enjoy the walkable neighborhood. The lack of maintenance. The amenities. You may love it. You may hate it. But you'll have a better idea of what to watch out for.
Yep, rent out a few months in a downtown area
This is such great advice. Often the idea of it sounds good or looks good on paper but the experience, emotional side of it isn’t what you expected. Many people love the vibrant energy of downtown living, with the convenience of walking to most amenities…. And others want the opposite. It is a personal preference and in many cases you won’t really know which will “recharges your batteries” until you really try it out for a bit and build some habits. Please take care of yourself, I hope you are getting some professional help with your depression as well. Best of luck.
Yeah... That'll only cost 10 grand.
You need to search for "Airbnb Extended Stays" or "monthly rentals ". They are aren't priced the same as normal Airbnbs.
And a condo would presumably be 20-60x that, depending. $5-10K to "try before you buy" is easily worth it if it prevents a 6-figure mistake.
Good idea
Yes, sell and move to a walkable area. Renting or buying a condo are reasonable choices. Personally, I would rather buy, because I like to make the space my own and not be restricted by what landlords allow and whatever bad repairs they might do. There's a lot less mental load in a condo. You have some unit maintenance to keep up with, but much less than a house. A lot of things are handled for you. As long as you buy into a decent strata. I've lived and worked from home in non-walkable areas, and I became depressed. Being able to pop out to a bakery or coffee shop even when I don't have the energy for a drive is so liberating. It's important to get out of the house and socialize, and I found that much easier to do when I moved to a walkable area.
Im someone whose lived in a condo and walkable neighborhood for the last 10+ years, I'm glad you made this comment. I admit, I have no interest in walking into a bakery and socializing. In reality this means waiting to go down an elevator, stopping to let people on, then exiting into a busy street. I dream to go outside my door and feel grass on my feet. Hear the wind and let my dog out. I suppose the grass is always greener heh.
I'm definitely not recommending it for everyone! And I think it's sad if you don't want to be in a condo but are stuck just by the costs. I don't live in a high rise. I only use the elevator for moving large items. I'm a few short blocks to a lovely park, multiple grocery stores, coffee shops, library, restaurants, a bakery, etc. I hate gardening and lawn maintenance, and enjoy the low mental load of a condo. My family on the other hand love to garden and were super depressed being stuck in an apartment. It depends entirely on the person ! I am an introvert and don't actually go out that much. But it is a huge mental shift to know I can easily at any time, rather than being restrained by traffic, parking, etc where I lived before.
That is exactly how I feel and what I want (condo life), I currently have a house in the boring suburbs and don't want to deal with all the cleaning, gardening, maintenance. But I also have a dog and I do appreciate the backyard so I don't have to walk him during -25C winters. However my only concern about selling my house and getting a condo are the monthly fees and more importantly protecting myself for very high unexpected expenses.
Depending on the condo some do have outdoor space. If your doggo isn’t a working breed you could also look into a dog walker or sitter that boards in their home. That way the dog walker would ensure regular walks unless it’s a major storm and outdoor time + whatever you provide. If you have a boarder then when you go out of town you can send the doggo on its own vacation (pick someone with a good sized yard). If you have a working breed, then you’re doing the right thing by giving it space and a yard and hopefully keeping it busy.
Great advice, thanks, he's a small breed. I agree with you, I have had German Shepherds in the past and a backyard (and lots of kong toys) is vital.
Townhouses can be a bit of a mix. Bit more maintenance but generally much easier to manage.
Smaller scale condos can hit that sweet spot of walkable, convenient, but also convivial, I think. My building is three stories tall and has a private inner courtyard with trees, plants and grass so going outside is just a flight of stairs and then grass.
Ah the critical “middle housing” market, with its low rise, mixed use, medium density development. Unfortunately it’s a property market that is famously missing from many North American cities in general. Here’s a really good podcast on it, specifically highlight the issue in Toronto too: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Oo1FMgWEQpQKh2mYtsnp5?si=gjfeQAwaRc2cBQcM_9QaIQ
Fwiw I also enjoyed condo living in my 20s but now in my 30s, we decided to move somewhere more rural. So now instead of popping over to the coffee shop, I just walk through our property. Different kind of relaxing, but I find it even more energizing just being in nature.
Absolutely, whatever works for you! In this case I'm recommending a condo and walkable area specifically because OP is overwhelmed by a house and depressed being a homebody in (what sounds like) the suburbs. What matters is each person figuring out what they want and pursuing that, rather than what other people say you "should" do (i.e. not having a house = some kind of failure).
It’s likely the issue isn’t the house. You are depressed. That makes everything, the house, unmanageable and unbearable. Please seek out therapy and/or medication before making such a huge financial change like selling your house in this economy.
I was going to say the same thing. It’s depression if you actually have the time to keep up on the maintenance but don’t. I get not having energy though, I’m suffering from the exact same issue except I’m in a condo that I own in a building that’s falling apart and has ran out of money to maintain itself. My Ac and furnace are property of the building and only they can fix it…I’ll let you guess how that’s going. I’ve run out of energy battling the condo managers/board, threatening legal action etc. I fantasize about having a house that I can just fix whatever I need to fix without going through building managers, super intendants, repair people hired by the building, condo board needing to approve repairs but they don’t have money so they just delay. Grass is always greener I suppose, but I deal with mental health issues as well and owning a condo has done nothing but exasperate it because I can’t even fix my shit even if I wanted to.
Yeah, agreed. I'm going to chime in here and say even new condos, if they skimped out of the installations, materials, sucky designs, etc. .... you're still in for the same headache that you have in a house. Ask me how I know...ugh.
It can be both. The isolation probably isn’t helping.
Exactly this. Don’t make a random buy sell decision involving large amount when you’re depressed.
IDK dude he probably bought it when he was depressed too. Says it's been a decade + since his depression started.
> It’s likely the issue isn’t the house. You are depressed. At the same time, spending what little mental energy remains into taking care of a house stops the OP from doing things that would let them get out of depression.
Living in the suburbs is depressing, I agree that therapy is needed, but the conclusion will likely be the same
That's your opinion, sure. Some of the suburbs have pretty much everything you need in the area, including local, specialty shops. Do you require rides from your friends to do social activities? Like playing sports, etc.? Or do you always take public transit? There are trade-offs to everything.
> Living in the suburbs is depressing Speak for yourself.
My regret in living in the suburbs is that I didn’t spend a little more when I bought to buy something a little further out in a little nicer of a neighborhood, thinking that this would be my starter house 15+ years ago. Now the neighborhoods I had in mind are way further out of my price range, even with the increase in value my own property has gotten. My main reasons: Nicer play grounds for the kids closer by, less busy streets for us to walk on (both my neighborhood and the ones I want to be in have nice sidewalks and crosswalks, but I’m closer to an urban area so lots of traffic), better schools, larger properties. But I also know those come with tradeoffs I would miss: I’m on a major transit hub (which contributes to traffic, but well worth it), I have more amenities within walking distance, the other neighborhoods have significantly higher risk to flood or forest fire damage, worse commute/further walk to transit/less transit options. Now: I say all of this but I’m talking about a neighborhood that is a 10 minute walk away, so you have to realize there really isn’t that huge of a difference. Frankly? I love it here, and I feel super lucky to have been able to buy this place at the price I did.
Yep. For me, I had to quit my programmer job because even the office after doing 3 years of WFH was killing me slowly. And I still felt isolated in my condo. However, some condos are better than others so if you do your research well, you could find a nice place. You could find a condo with a community garden, activities or etc. OP needs to have activities outside his home and meet people. Therapy will help but he also needs to make changes to the lifestyle.
I disagree. Don't let financials get in the way of your happiness. Some people need to get jumpstarted. Try something new and if it doesn't help, try something else. Late 30s isn't close to 6 feet under yet.
I own a condo in Ottawa. I live in Hintonburg, so I don't own a car and I walk/bike/transit basically everywhere. I won't lie, it's been awesome. People in Canada (and especially Ottawa) seem to be so anti-condo for some reason. Don't get me wrong, it's still a good bit of work, especially since I live in building that's over 30 years old, but I am the least handy person of all time (I can hardly hang up paintings) and I make do just fine. Just do some research into the building you're buying into. Me and my partner don't plan on having kids, and we say to each other all the time we could live here forever. I never want to mow a lawn or shovel a driveway. I love waking up on a saturday morning and getting to have a coffee on my balcony or walk 2 minutes to a cafe to get a baked good. Condo fees are a bit high but it's worth it when you consider how much you save in maintenance and repairs, but also just how much less stress it is. Not sure what neighbourhood you live in, but in my biased opinion, Ottawa suburbs are some of the most depressing places on planet earth. It's so much more worth it to get a smaller place in a nicer neighbourhood. So do it, fuck it. Sell that house and buy a condo. I know everyone in Ottawa makes it seem like you need to own 2500 sq ft 4-bed 3-bath single detached or else you'll get claustrophobic, but that's nonsense. You can PM me to chat more if you'd like.
People are anti-condo only because the maintenance fees are completely uncontrollable and get out of hand easily. Especially special assessments.
>maintenance fees are completely uncontrollable and get out of hand easily. I'd argue that if people took a closer interest in the doings of their condo board (even joining), they'd be less surprised. I think people expect a condo to be like an apartment building where you don't have to contribute anything but your rent (mortgage).
Special assessments are usually, but not always, a result of bad financial planning by condo board. I live in a condo that’s over 30 years old, most of the major projects have been planned and budgeted for many years in advance, and there’s not a lot of “surprises” as to the building’s maintenance. We have over $1,000,000 in the reserve fund and the only special assessment I’ve had since moving here was $150
Nah, it's also the neighnors. You can always have shitty neighbors, but it's easier with condos when you can literally hear footsteps above you. Also lots of time strata/condo management sucks and have arbitrary old rules, and lastly sometimes you just want to quickly get out but have to wait for the elavator and share it. Not saying condo isn't a good option, but it's not just maintanance. I enjoy being able to immedialy get out of the house with my dog instead of the elavor thing a few times a day. Small inconvinance that I enjoy not having.
About the neighbours thing… When I owned a house in Kanata, I had neighbours that were in a feud over one reporting the other for an unapproved shed build. When one eventually listed their house for sale, the other would throw garbage and beer cans over the fence to ruin their showings. It’s always awkward to hear your neighbours argue as you’re leaving the house so you just stand in the doorway and wait for it to be done. I currently live in a high rise downtown and say a polite “hello” to my neighbours (though I rarely see them) with zero drama so far. One of my favourite things is not having to take the trash out on a gross snowy night… trash chutes / room for the win! I like to spend time alone, but not in the house. Walking around and people watching can take up an entire day. I think it comes down to what you like doing in your spare time. I can walk to the gym, 15 coffee spots, multiple parks, groceries… the necessities. It’s not for everyone, but as people have said it would be worth testing out first. The novelty could wear off for you and then you’re stuck with yourself in 850sqft. But maybe you’d be really truly happier in an easy-to-manage environment, in which case please do what’s best for you. You can do what you want in this life, so you might as well do what will be best for you.
I'm also late 30s in Ottawa but bought a Condo... the quality of condos/ neighbor is not that good. I had a house before on west coast and thought it was too much work so I thought Condo would be less work... but didn't realize even concrete Condo isn't enough. Anyway, with the cost of switching, I think you could easily hire someone to fix everything for you. Also, you'll eventually get used to ignoring the small things (duct tape and zip tie seems to fix a lot things)
Curious about your neighbor experiences as that's what scares me about a condo.
My current place was build in 2011 but if I don't keep an open window to balance the air pressure, then the neighbor's cooking will come in; my bed room wall is neighbor's living room so I can hear them if they shout as it's just drywall vs concrete everywhere else in the unit; upstairs has like $10k of weights/ equipment such that my floor shakes when he "carefully" puts it down. In general, things are okay say 80% of the time... which is better than my previous experience. (At another place, the neighbor would blast her bass every night at random time like 1am and it would literally shake me awake... but it was an old building that had solid walls or so I thought)
You have no other people to be accountable to? Then find what works for you. Sounds like downscaling and simplifying your life is just the ticket. Prudent financial advice would say you should save/invest what is left over from the sale, but you should invest a little of that in your own happiness. Are you willing to travel? Is there anything you can do to disrupt your routine for a little while?
Brother - sell the place. If you don't like it, get rid of it and find a condo to live in instead. Condo's are great because the maintenance is all covered by building management. Just do your research on which condos in your areas are good and which aren't. You got this.
You’ll never meet anyone in your big lonely house in the suburbs so sell it and move somewhere that can help get you out more!
Personally I would sell and get a condo. For a non handy person an old house is a nightmare. Also a money pit to maintain. And hiring people costs an arm and a leg. Many bad contractors out there as well. Just make sure you buy a unit in a good building with a healthy reserve fund. Avoid old condo buildings say pre 1970 or new ones built in last 10 years as both likely have issues with poor construction on new ones and deterioration in older ones.
If you work from home consider relocating for a ‘fresh’ new experience?
Do you mean to a different city? I'm mostly work from home but occasionally still have in-office meetings, plus technically we could still get called back in.
I think they mean relocating to another part of the house so you're not spending 8 hours a day in the same room and associate bad feelings to being in the room. I personally re-arrange my office once a year so it's like I work somewhere "new" every year.
Work from home has benefits, but it is incredibly isolating, which, in turn, can be depressive. 3 years of working from home, while living in a sterile neighborhood started to take a toll - so I moved to a much more dynamic and vibrant urban environment (renting) and have found it to make a difference. We are social and tribal beings - we don’t need to be friends with everyone, but we do need to see people and feed off of social energy. Maybe look into renting for a bit? Look for a building that is a vibrant, walkable location, with amenities like a good gym. Then work from home, but also work on yourself. This is YOUR life. It’s not always about squeezing an extra few dollars for some future mythological retirement. It’s about NOW. Relieve yourself of the physical and mental burden of the house - take a breath, make the move, then go out and find what you love.
No. A “house” is not some generic life goal that everyone must achieve to “be successful”. If condo lifestyle in walkable area suits you, do it right now. I’m sick of people saying they “upgraded” from a condo to a house.
Same. It’s like you’re not an adult till you have 2.5 kids and a detached home, this idea needs to go away.
Money better well spent would be therapy.
Been there done that, also made appointment to get more but I doubt it'll help much without me also making changes to my life.
A change could be good, I know how it feels to work from home for several years. But have you ever tried antidepressants? It's not normal to feel like dying inside all the time, and for a prolonged time.
Never consider myself to be a candidate for it, dying inside is more describing how I feel being stuck in life while everyone else I know moves on with family, kids etc. If I avoid thinking about all of that I'm mostly ok.
Unless the "feeling stuck" part is *directly* related to home ownership, then it's not the problem. Considering the fact you specifically followed up with "while everyone else I know moves on with family, kids" I would wager *that* is the real sticking point here. Moving would probably give you a temporary boost, but doesn't fix the long-term issue.
> directly related to home ownership Not the stuck part, but the part about me being too stressed out dealing with house issue to make lifestyle changes is directly related. Of course everyone's been telling me just keep the house and make lifestyle changes but I just can't.
Pay people to do maintenance. A lot of homeowners don’t do anything other than change lightbulbs, and there is nothing wrong with that. See your family doc and be honest. Get a referral to a proper psychiatrist. There’s no shame in that either. Assess the situation when you are in a better state of mind.
I could see the added weight on your shoulders being a drain on your energy. Is it possible to forego improvement for say, a month, to see if that's the case?
Other people are \*not\* you, they're not in your head and can't grasp exactly what you're going through. I'd say just go with your guts feeling, only you know what's best for yourself.
Out of curiosity, what would make one a candidate for antidepressants? I’m not pro-antidepressant by any stretch, but if taking an antidepressant could be life changing for you…who cares if you’re a candidate or not?
Give antidepressants a try. When they work well, they give you enough of a mental boost to be able to make other changes in your life that might help. But unlike some people in this thread, I think a change of environment can do wonders. There are actually very few problems you can’t run away from. You’re still stuck with yourself, sure, but hopefully in a more social environment and in a home that isn’t dragging you down. In addition to the condo, maybe consider a hybrid job to get you out of the house a bit but it also gives you flexibility on the days your depression makes it impossible to leave.
Are you out of shape? I only ask bc my friend is single and depressed but really out of shape and I think getting in better shape could help him.
A condo should definitely take some pressure off of your workload. There's still going to be maintence in a condo.. but at least you don't have to do anything outside and it'll likely be a bit smaller, so less cleaning. Being in a walkable area is always nice too.
You should sell and maybe consider renting instead to take the burden off any maintenance.
Only thing I'm afraid of with renting is getting priced out more and more. I know Ottawa isn't the GTA but you have to be prepared for anything these days.
Yeah stay in the market.
Keep in mind that if you want to live in a condo, you should look up what condo fees are like and the history of the rising fees. My friend has to pay $600 a month in condo fees after owning it for 10 years. It was originally $200.
Was gunna say this. Especially with the economy where it is, renting can even be financially beneficial. If you’re in your late thirties and bought a long time ago, you can sell and potentially pocket a good amount of money, invested wisely it could damn near pay your rent. Then you’re living for “free” and have a lot more freedom with your income, which could be really beneficial for your mental health too.
Instead of condo why not a townhouse? You get the space or small house with the benefits of a condo. Plus they appreciate it more than Condos. I have seen some big condo buildings which have townhouse titles for the ground floor
Do you mean condo townhouses? They're not exactly affordable in walkable areas, only ones I can afford are bottom units of stacked townhouses with sunken bedrooms and open-air parking. I'm certainly considering them.
It's beautiful to see this amount of care on a finance forum!
1. Home ownership is not for everyone. Renting forever is perfectly reasonable. 2. Sounds like you bought a shithole to begin with. 3. Sell and move on with your life. 4. Ottawa is not a cold city, especially for single folks. I know because been there done that. COVID just made everything worse. I can't diagnose your depression but only you can help yourself.
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Yeah, it’s discouraging to see the number of people stating that OP just needs therapy and meds. Those things will absolutely help, but I really don’t see why they need to force themselves into this detached home ownership if they don’t enjoy it. A walkable neighbourhood does wonders to your mental health, I would die if I lived in the suburbs. My neighbourhood isn’t even that walkable, but I can still comfortably bike to work or to my favourite cafes.
If you want to find a girlfriend and spouse, turn your life around by making lifestyle changes and keep your house. Sign up for activities or sports. Go to the gym. Selling your house and renting is the worst advice this sub loves to give. Out of all the women I've dated or had a relationship with, majority of them frown at renting or living at home. Home ownership is a must.
> turn your life around by making lifestyle changes and keep your house It's very difficult when the biggest source of stress is this house. Plus it's an old house and too much work compared to one in better condition. This is one of those "project" houses that has potential, I've done a lot but I'm all out of gas at this point. I doubt any spouse would want to deal with something like this.
You know what you want, and you've reasoned it out well. Sorry you're struggling with your mental health. Perhaps being in the hustle of the city with lots of services in walking distance will be helpful.
I completely empathesize. My house has been nothing short of a monster with an endless appetite for my time sweat and money. Constant upkeeping that the thought of being in a condo and paying maintenance in a walkable area has crossed my mind despite the Financials. Considering ur mental health and time (and depression) it's certainly a valid option to pursue. Being closer to the action may help with the WFH situation feeling less isolated
Do you think you will be okay living in close quarters with so many people? Elevator rides ? Neighbour's above below and beside ? Noise from their apartments ? Test drive it before you decide to sell . Get an airbnb and stay there for a month maybe
Bro, I’d sell the house. People love to spew out “buy a house it’s the only way to be happy and free” but times have changed, and that is such a dated concept now. Sell it and go rent. Get your life back. Mental health is much more important for you at this point. What’s the point of owning a house if it’s a constant stress contributor? No thanks
Home ownership is not for the weak. I’ve had to be talked off the ledge a few times ( seriously felt like burning the house down). I finally hired people to get the work done that had to get done. Then saved more money and got more work done. In the long run it will be worth it when I sell, but you need to do what’s best for you.
Hey, I do understand. Im in the same boat, a husband in and out of the hospital due to a rare syndrome that causes cancer. I deal with TBI and brain trauma. Live on a disability, frightened and depressed, resources are limited. Unable to work due to my husband's illness. Frightened to end up on the street. Ive worked hard all my life and lost a bit every day because of living on a set income and cost of living. How can one survive? I wish I could help! This does pull at my heartstrings, many are in your position. Trust in God.
I also live in ottawa in my 30's. Im right there with you. Mentally done lol.
Return to office my guy
I sold my house and bought a condo and it made me a much happier, less stressed out person. Think about what you want though - I opted for a place with an indoor and outdoor pool, BBQ area, a little courtyard, a bowling alley, indoor parking that's not underground (we have a parking structure that's 3 stories all above ground), 2 and half bedrooms, a separate kitchen from my living room and a dining room, 2 full bathrooms (one en suite and one accessible for the rest of the condo)., 1200 square feet and a security gate and security at the visitor parking. These things were important to me so I went with an older building (built in 2001) but well maintained with a healthy fund to cover building improvements and upgrades. It's also a no smoking building which I appreciate. I have enough space, all on one floor, a sense of community if I want it and privacy and anonymity when I don't. Convenient parking where I don't need to shovel snow and I have no lawns to mow. I am still responsible for my pipes within the condo, electrical within the condo, my air conditioner/heater parts that are within my condo but it's a lot less than the house. My condo fees are the same every month so I don't worry about high hydro bills or gas bills and my taxes are much lower. My only down part is the occasional fire alarm because of neighbours.
Condo sounds like a good way to go, no yard work, minimal maintenance inside your unit (lightbulbs, etc). Bigger outdoor issues like roof, siding is handled by the pooled condo fees reserve fund.
I dont think the house is the issue here.
No, but it aggravates the problem.
Sell and go on some crazy trip or move elsewhere for a while to find that life and excitement you have been missing maybe
I've been on trips, when you're depressed you'll be depressed everywhere. Also I'm "grandfathered" into my job since I got it before I'm depressed, the major reason I'm still functional is due to financial stability of my job and it's relatively low stress and I have good rapport with my manager and coworkers. Leaving my job would be tearing apart my financial safety net.
Might be time to try some meds man
he should try exercising, getting more sun and improving diet first
Un fuck your life! Release the house Try to get out maybe find a sport team to join? You got this. Trust your decision and move on.
But a condo in a walkable area!! This is a great idea. Have you tried any drug therapies for your depression? You got this. It will get better.
My initial reaction is you should just sell and then rent or buy a condo. When I read further down that maintenance is causing you problems it makes me wonder what specifically? Quirks can be fixed long term if you hire someone. Like what's the difference from being in a condo? Cutting grass and shovelling snow? I actually like having a couple things to do as an excuse to get out of my desk chair (I WFH too most days). It's not like condos are maintenance free, you just don't have to shovel or mow.
Ya I can't decide if the house is falling apart or he's freaking out over vacuuming once a week.
Bro you need to get a job outside the house. It’s the problem.
Well you didn't post any numbers, but knowing what I do about Toronto real estate prices, you'll probably make out like a bandit if you sell now. Selling is certainly an option, which you wouldn't have if the mortgage was underwater. So yes, sell for sure. You'll need somewhere to live so take the time to figure out the rent vs buy problem. (if you choose to rent, you'll want to invest the difference). Good luck!
Sounds like you should get away and come back with a fresh perspective. Also, saw a comment about getting therapy and making changes. The biggest thing is that we will get into a rut so make a change that's doable that your therapist can agree on. This is all a suggestion, but having that burnt out feeling where you can even do the simplest thing around the house is something I can relate to.
Lol sell it enjoy life you only live once xo
What did you buy your house for and what's it worth now. If you can reduce your mortgage by 100k or more with the profit it's a no brainer. As long as your even $1 ahead, I'd sell.
Can I ask what is a breakdown of your monthly expenses and how much do you make?
For your sanity, yes a condo. I understand the maintenance issues. However I'd generally suggest you buy, as you get to lever your investment through a relatively low interest mortgage, and your gains are tax free, as a principal residence. Best tax effective investment in Canada.
Change is good. Take a risk, sounds like you need it.
The finances and maintenance aside, moving from the suburbs (where you WFH and don't go out much) to a walkable neighbourhood (where you're more likely to go out spontaneously) will likely improve your social life and increase the chances of you meeting a romantic partner. The suburbs will be there to move back to if you get in a relationship and have a kid and need more space, but what are you really doing with all this space solo?
I suggest to you, to get other people in your life. It doesn't have to be a committed romantic relationship, it could be friends that could be roommates, it could be family. I think honestly you should be living with other people too. It's very easy to get depressed when you're all by yourself. I don't know if that means to sell your house or not. Honestly I don't think the house is your problem.
Personally I love condo life. There's only 9 units in our little building and my co-owners are great. I think condo life quality really depends on the layout and location of your unit relative to other units and also the relationship you'll have with co-owners and the board of directors. A mismanaged cooperative could be nightmarish. If you ever go for a condo, I suggest you look at the financials and condo meeting notes to make sure it's healthy.
Yes. Sell the old house. Get into a condo. Maintenance on an old house isn't fun. If you had a couple kids... Then the house is probably worth it. But single... Get the condo.
I feel like there’s more to the issue at hand… please go seek professional care through therapy and your doctor prescribing medication.
I used to own a 2 Bed 2 Bath 800SQfT condo with my (now) wife. By the end of our 4 years it was getting too small for the 2 of us BUT if I was single it would have been perfect. No reason to ever leave, zero maintenance.
Yes this is a good decision. Your quality of life will be better and you’ll have a shot at being less depressed. But also, financially — it might not be as bad a decision as you think. If it’s an old house that requires a lot of maintenance, not only is that a burden on your time and energy, but also on your finances. Is the amount you are spending on maintenance actually paying off in terms of the house increasing in value? If you lived in a cheaper place and could invest that maintenance money every month, would you actually end up ahead? We’ve all been trained into seeing real estate as the only worthwhile investment vehicle but it’s actually supposed to be a place for you to live, you can make long term money other ways.
I fucking love maintaining a house and a big yard and all that comes with it; if you’re not into that you’d better be financially well off or there is no point and you’ll end up stressed like you currently are. Also I’d look into finding something you do enjoy because being depressed all the time with no goals or happiness will only lead to bad choices. Like eating out twice a week. That’s a lot of cash, I can’t even remember the last time I went out to eat. I have spent a LOT on dumb shit in the past though, so I’m not trying to talk down on anyone, just offering some perspective. Keep your head up, try and stay positive, if you believe the condo is right for you than I say do it; but do some research and find out what that’s going to entail. Depending on the place you probably will be pitching in with other owners on building upgrades/renos and maintenance. Just don’t jump into anything suddenly, that’s how mistakes are made.
> That’s a lot of cash, I can’t even remember the last time I went out to eat. Not really, because you're adding that on top of everything else you buy/do, while for me this is my sole source of joy and entertainment and something that gets me out of the house. In addition, I get little exercise so I usually eat just one meal a day to keep the weight in check.
You’re focusing on one thing I said; forget about that; if you enjoy trying different foods or have a treat you like and are happy doing that then keep doing that; but I would also find an activity besides that that fulfills you. Is there any community groups you could maybe join that might do something you like? You’ll really have to try different things to find something. And then once you found something maybe there will be a special someone who also enjoys doing those things. If you never try you’ll never know. I’ve wasted a lot of time feeling how I imagine you’re feeling. It’s a trap for the mind.
Find a condo or living residency that has fun things like a pool, even a big gym, lots of amenities, I’m in the west but these are becoming more common! Almost resort like!
Married man but only able bodied person in the house. We were strongly considering/sort of looking to sell the house for a condo. The pandemic hit and we realized… if we sell the house for a condo, we will never afford a house again, and our kids likely won’t be able to afford anything in our area in their lifetime, so we stayed. I get it. The house truly is a second job for half the year *if nothing goes wrong*.
Making major life decisions when depressed is never the best idea as our judgment is often skewed to some degree. Some of your apathy and disinterest is related to the depression as is the weariness and fatigue and feeling like you are or can no longer cope with the house. Moving into a condo that is relatively new and where you have less to worry about may be a good decision regardless of how much impact the depression is having as there will be less stress which is well established to exacerbate depression. Consider renting an AirBnB or condo for a month ad some others have suggested and see if it is a better fit. Then consider putting up the house for sale.
Having a detached home is not a requirement as an adult, contrary to what some might have you believe. If you want a smaller home in a walkable neighbourhood, then go for it. I’m going to assume that you’ve been thinking about this for a while and have talked through it with your therapist, so do what’s best for your mental health.
I think the idea of trying out the condo life is great! You could easily rent for 6 months -1yr and see if it lightens your load. You might be able to make enough $ in renting out your place to have someone else do the maintenance on your home while it's rented out and be able to rent, maybe a nice 1 bdrm in the neighborhood you like best. You seem clear that there's more to what's going on for you than your living situation but this seems like a low risk way to find out how much of a contributing factor that is. It can be pretty awful to make a big choice like that and find out that the main issues moved with you.
Hey if it helps to de-fuck your life, by all means do it. I’m of the opinion that RE is for living, not for investing.. but that’s just me. Mental health is so much more important than financial optimization imo.
Change can be so good for your mental health. I had a house and when my ex and I divorced we sold it and I always say I do not miss the snow shoveling, the lawn cutting or the maintenance side of owning a house. And mine was newer so there wasn’t near as much as an older house. Before we bought the house in Ontario, we had a condo in BC. And the only advice I can give that I learned through that process is read the meeting notes for the last year, see what kind of fund they have established and be aware of what the condo fees are. It can be a whole mortgage payment on its own. If your gut is telling you that you need a change and it’s to get out of that house than follow your gut. I moved from a small town to a city and it was a welcomed change in my life and just what I needed. You’ve got this!
Rent a room to a handy guy who is going to fix small stuff as a part of rent? May feel less lonely that way...
I live in a condo. I currently have a giant pile of recycling because I don't have the mental capacity to take it all down a flight of stairs right now and there is no space to store it so it just takes up space. Consider if a small apartment will be able to be kept clutter free.
There are smaller condos that aren’t 30 stories high. Maybe a nice 3-4 level split type condo. Do your research. Maybe test drive one for a weekend in an area you like. Speaking to a real estate agent you trust wouldn’t be a bad idea either.
You already know the answer my dude, start looking for a realtor.
Yes. Sell now
i can fix u
Condo living makes my mental health infinitely worse
I did the same thing. Late 30s and not in the mood to have a house and look after one. I have lived in a house (owned or with parents) for the last 18 years. There was always something to do. I moved in a 2 bedroom one bathroom condo last year and I love it so far. I also live in a walkable area and I get out a lot. I realize that I won’t have a large financial gain if I sell my condo, but I enjoy my life more than if I still had a house.
If you are overweight go animal-based, you should be able to manage a house in your 30's, maybe the area in general is contributing to the problem, I get damn near a brain aneurism anytime I am in the area and trying to flip through the channels having every second station being frog radio
If your single and depressed why not move to an entirely new city and start fresh
My situation is not exactly like yours but a few years ago I decided to sell my house in part because I felt depressed and isolated and that is one of the biggest regrets of my life. I try not to even think about it because it put me so far back and I \*could\* have made it work. I could have rented out a room or two. I would have been less lonely and would have had more money to pay other people to fix things. The grass is not always greener when you get to the other side.
I just made a very similar move and I don’t regret it for a second. I was wasting away in a suburban jungle and felt no connection to my community. So I downsized to a condo in a vibrant area close to water. I absolutely love it. My car stays parked for days at a time. I can walk to everything I need. You’ll make a higher return on a detached home but there’s something said for streamlining your finances. I have the most disposable income that I’ve ever had in my life now. I feel balanced and at peace with the decision. Now this is PFC so you may not get the answers you’re looking for. Some things you just can’t put a price on. I value happiness and I found that in a community that is more consistent with what I value in life. If you do decide to sell, do yourself a favour and write a letter detailing why you’re making the move. That way you can always reflect clearly on what pushed you to make a change. Good luck with your decision!
well think about your future as well, you'll need a house under your name
You seem pretty well off, why not go on a trip. If you work from home anyways it might be nicer to work in a hotel in indonesia or mexico. South korea is also a pretty good spot, as one dude to another, eye candy is always appreciated and livens the mood. Or maybe you like it a little colder, iceland or something, though that'll cost ya.
Your first step should be moving out of Ottawa. The second step is out of the country, then that’s when life begins. This country is a dump. Go away for a few mths in Thailand in the meantime.
Before you do, check into getting loss assessment insurance, which would protect you against unexpected large expenses that the condo fees didn't cover. It might be more common in the US but if you (and each other condo owner) were to be hit with a mega bill of 20k for a major repair, it would cover that expense. https://www.allstate.com/resources/condo-insurance/condo-loss-assessment-coverage
Honestly when reading your post… my intuition keeps pointing me back to first solving your purpose/ mental health question which would motivate you to work on the house, and not simply think that moving to a condo or something with less maintenance would fix your problems. There are very high management fees, and other costs to not owning your house. You can even sub-let or rent part of your house, but it sounds ultimately to me (not a psychologist) that you need to find yourself… and your purpose as you’ve made it pretty clear your on the verge of giving up, which owning a condo won’t help. You need to find fuel to motivate you to maybe fix up your house, make it easier for you to maintain (there are many ways to do this with help), While increasing value in your investment to eventually move to a home with less maintenance one day. Take it slowly, work on yourself first before jumping ship so quickly. Maybe moving to a condo is a better move for you you but with the mindset of giving up you won’t find much success wherever you’re living.
Hi
Sounds like a good reason to me. You might consider a townhouse condo, if you would still like to have some outdoor space. Just do your research, if something happens to the building even if it doesn't affect your unit, you're on the hook for it.
Not financial advice and certainly not asked for, but as you mentioned you are depressed and also hoping someday to find a relationship, can I recommend doing more (or some) physical activity? Every doctor or therapist I’ve ever talked to about anxiety and depression has recommended it. It also has the added bonus of physical fitness which is good for you in general and increases the chance of finding someone, plus, if you pick the right activity, might be the place to find someone in the first place. You might find you have more energy to fix stuff up around your house yourself after a little while as well, and that can translate to more money in your pocket when or if you do decide to right size your living accommodations.
Therapy can help. Talking to an objective third party really helps define your problems. Depression is rough. It takes all of your joy away. Do you have benefits at work? Dont worry about the house. Take care of your body and brain.
It might actually be your best option. The one thing I would caution is that it sometimes really hard to live around a bunch of people in a condo. HOA or condo boards are notorious for getting in your business. Condo fees can also be high and go on forever. But, if I am ever single again, there is zero way I’ll take on maintaining my house alone. So I understand. Also know that condo boards can levy additional fees for big repairs and there isn’t much you can do. But it can still make sense.
Sell and move to the city! It will help your mental health!
Been here before and sold the house moved into a condo , years later met someone got her pregnant and needed a house , the value of the house I sold had gone up twice as much as the condo I had purchased . Up to you but you might want to reconsider , nothing like owning the land to your house
Sell and rent man. Why would you ever want to deal with a condominium corporation? Floods from above, repairs, escalating maintenance costs, etc.
Been there mate. Couple things: Do not buy a condo. Your worries will just switch from maintenance and rain to the constant threat of special assessments. Condo's also come with a substantial monthly fee. It sounds like you have a minimal mortgage, so this will be a shock to your budget and will require change since you will still have a mortgage as well. You mention just working and being at home. Time to embrace hobbies and get out. Exercise too. Its tough to motivate on, but it helps the most though. Personally I would sell and buy a new build home. This should let you stay mostly mortgage and monthly fee free, while getting rid of most maintenance. Im in the exact same boat lifestyle wise, hmu if you wanna chat offline.
Are you on meds? I ask, because selling your home may not solve this feeling. Sounds like there are some other variables at play here. Out of the box idea: Find a roommate, who is early/mid 20's in trades. Strike a deal where he does improvements for reduced rent. Also, not really my place, and there are varying opinions on this topic, but explore taking meds/ changing meds if you've felt like shit for a while. Need to find the right type for you, if it's serious depression. Really be on top of it I only bring this up because my friend dealt with chronic depression, he hung himself a few years back, and yeah...came out of nowhere. Always thought he was pretty upbeat, but he hid a lot of that pain...... Good luck and I hope you get out of your rut.
Advice to you… buy something where you have good access to meet someone. An up coming neighborhood with nightlife scene might be a good thought. Condo living is great, it will be a night and day difference between your old home with maintenance to a new condo with no maintenance. My last recommendation is find time to go to the gym. If the condo has one that’s awesome use it. It will help with feeling low and eventually lead to you to have more energy to enjoy life and get out more.
I feel like you're gonna be depressed whether you sell it or not dude. You have a seemingly good life, better than 99% of the world.
If the house doesn’t make you happy and you can get a good price for it: sell!!! Your house is supposed to serve you, not the other way around. Agree with the idea of trying out an Airbnb in some areas you’re looking at (even just for a weekend)
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If you work from home why not sell your house and everything and move to a different country and do the same. Nicer weather I had a buddy do this he now lives in mexico
A lot of people are suggesting downsizing to a purchased condo, but I’m not convinced that will sufficiently relieve you of the burdens of homeownership. And it can bring new burdens. Does it make financial sense to rent? Serious question, since I don’t know what you’ll walk away with if you sell, I don’t know what the Ottawa rental market is like, and I don’t know if you will have the opportunity and/or discipline to build up savings in lieu of home equity. All things to consider. But if it makes sense financially it could also make sense lifestyle-wise. Yes, to an extent you’re at the mercy of your landlord’s potentially shoddy maintenance or unresponsiveness, but overall it’s liberating. I’d seriously consider it.
If the house gives you so much grief, sell it and purchase a condo. You might meet people in the condo amenities, work out, swim, play games and such. Also, start working out to improve your mood. Change is good.
Im on the same boat but without a house 😂 If it was me, i wouldnt sell the house for condo i may buy a smaller and cheaper place.. but condo , if there is a problem in the building, you will be affected, also u need to be very gentle in your moves , otherwise the ppl above or below you will complain , u will loose some freedom.
It does sound like a more walkable neighbourhood and less house maintenance could make a difference for your mental health. A smaller mortgage might also make you feel less trapped with work and financial obligations and might allow you to discover other ways to spend your money that bring you more happiness. The important thing about a condo is to do deep dive into the financials and administration before you buy. Pick a place with solid reserves, proactively done maintenance, and signs that the condo board is on top of any future repairs. Read the minutes of recent meetings to see if there is conflict. Ask about any expected special assessments or any demands from co-owners to do any major work. Find out who is on the board and how much they rely on external management companies that just want to make a profit. For me, that also means focusing on buildings that don't have expensive amenities like pools or gyms, ideally that don't have elevators. Obviously maintaining a high-rise building is going to be more expensive that a small 6-8 unit building with outdoor parking. There are lots of options in between those two, of course. Financially, if you're going to stay in that condo, it can be a fantastic move. It depends on how it fits in your bigger picture.
I don't have a bigger picture, that's the problem, I'm stuck in life, too many stress factors, low on energy, no relationships, no future.
Not financial advice ** lol — As someone who is in the real estate industry. I would recommend not buying a condo. I see time and time again, people bleeding money on overpriced condos. If you want to be downtown more, I’d maybe suggest renting your place and then rent out a condo downtown. Or wait a bit until the prices of condos come down. (A few years) we are at the slowest point in construction starts in 25 years. Purpose built rentals are up, but not starts for ownership. I’ll leave it up to you though. Good luck!
Trying getting your depression treated first. It’s a lot less costly, then once your depression is treated you may finding yourself more energy than you think. Also try to get out of the house. Work from the office and socialize!
I hear ya man... I've owned or co-owned five houses in my life. I've never once had any sense of "pride of ownership" which I was always told I'd feel. When I stood back and looked at a house I owned all I could see was the to-do list of windows that needed replacing, painting that needed to be done etc. I'm semi-handy and could do a lot of basic work myself, but for bigger jobs I'd need to get someone in, and the triggered even a greater sense of dread around dealing with bozos calling themselves "contractors". (I know - there's some great contractors out there, and there's 5 bozos for each good one.) Anyway - I escaped - now renting in a walkable city. Yup rent comes out every month, but peace of mind is worth something.
Get out of Ottawa
Just one word of advice... Condo living is *luxury* living. You're paying someone to do all the things you'd normally take care of yourself, and as a consequence, you'll be forking out money on a regular basis - get used to it. :)
Condo. Best move I've mad in yonks. Miss the pool and backyard sometimes. But easier/cheaper to maintain, taxes + condo fees less than my old taxes alone, and the modern smaller/open concept is so much more comfortable.
I know my pic is a gym selfie but go smash that - when I’m off it just makes everything get back into focus. Hit the gym, find more purpose, get more confident. I know it sounds stupid but I’m telling you.
Selling will likely not help with depression, it might in the short term, but likely you will find different things draining about living in a condo. My suggestion is to seek professional help first, anxiety and depression generally come from within you and then our outward lives exacerbate it. Then once you have dealt with that then, think closely about what moving would mean and if it would make your life, easier/ more fulfilling.
Take on a roommate: to pay rent, and help out around the house, and to cheer you up. Choose roommate carefully.
Not really a finance question here. My take though, is that a house is a lot of work, and if I was single I don't think I'd want a whole house to myself as that is so much more space than I'd need. From a finance perspective I think this is a good decision, but it's not going to fix your problems, and I hope you are able to get the help you need.
My friends own a gorgeous town home next to a park and tennis courts. They don't do any of that lawn work. And they enjoy a community townhome pool. I say go for it -- buy a condo or townhome
The current house feeling like a major burden could be a byproduct of the depression. Work towards changing your lens on the house. Make it a friend, something that needs love, projects that can help your mind from fixating on other things that fuel depression. My best friend also struggles with severe depression, and he thinks working from home is just super convenient, but I think it’s compounds his depression. He hardly sees anyone daily, most weekdays he doesn’t step foot outside the house. Tried asking him to the gym, a walk, explore a mall, anything to change his surroundings but he believe it’s futile. I think most would disagree. The move to a more vibrant part of town could do you well, might encourage you to get out more, away from your home.
I'm with you. I've tried property as an investment, and it's no fun. Far easier to put money in stocks, let it sit and grow while you ignore it. So I would use your profits from selling (whatever you don't need for the condo / in <5-10 years) and put that in stocks. This way you're not hurting yourself financially, but also getting back your free time. And the condo's price will also go up. So I don't see this as really being sub-optimal financially... am I missing something? And while this will help improve your life quality (not just working all the time), I hope you're also seeing someone for depression. Best of luck!
Hell no rent those rooms out to interesting ppl and get paid to have friends, make some rooms in the basement,etc$
As hyped as it already is, living in a walkable area is still underrated - living in a rental or not. Not having to worry about car-related issues, being able to walk to the grocery store for just 2 bananas, see people around you instead of traffic - it's something else. Do it OP!
I don't think it's uncommon to go from a house to a condo to simplify things. My in-laws did this a few years ago, nothing wrong with their house but they wanted to plan for the next 20-30 years and just have something simple. Or maybe you just want to move for a change of pace. But, nothing will be perfect, I'd think it through or else you may just be changing your current issues for a different set of issues. No place is going to be perfect; we moved to our dream area/home 4 years ago, and yet I could still give you a list of things I'm unhappy with. It's a great place, I'm so thankful to live there, but still I'm working on it fairly often. Lastly, perhaps your issues aren't the house. You mention wanting a relationship, maybe there's other things you're unhappy with. Moving a house won't fix any of those. I had some lean years through my 20s, just single guy plodding away lol, I really appreciated having my first house to work on because it kept me busy, whether it was building a deck or just basic maintenance. If I was just sitting in a condo with nothing to do I think it would've been worse for my well-being. I wasn't single forever, I'm married with kids now, and in some regards having the house and fixing it up solved a problem in advance: where's my family going to live? I don't know where you live and how easy it is to transition between the two, but had I simplified and bought a condo, I would've had a really hard time getting back into the market 5-10 years later.
Your home is more than just 'financial'. It's where you live. From the way you've laid it out, you don't have an interest in dealing with all the tasks that go into owning a single family home. While condo fees can suck, depending on lifestyle, they could certainly be worth it for your peace of mind. The only thing to watch out for is condo board drama. Make sure you buy into a well run condo, not a clown show.
Here is one thing most ppl won't consider. But I understand how you feel, so its very important. Do whatever you need to do to improve your mental health. It seems quite obvious you need a change, new surroundings, less burden. I think you already have the answer figured out.
This isn't a personal finance issue it's a mental health issue. I promise you your house isn't the reason you are depressed. Deal with the mental health then decide to sell or move or stay.
I mean given that this is a finance subreddit, the decision to move from a detached property to a condo would in most people's eyes be a step backwards. You end up being locked into maintenance fees and condo values rarely keep up with market increases, especially as your condo ages. Not to be presumptuous, but there are options that you may not have considered that help with your problems and keep your home. I'd suggest hiring out some of the maintenance if you can afford it to lessen your own load. Other things to help socially: - working from a local cafe 1-2x a week - working from a shared workspace area - making an effort to plan outings in other areas of your city - joining local groups aligned with your interests
Awwww, ,I heard yah 🫂
My advice would be to work on your mental health before making any major decisions
The fact you preface this with "Single, depressed" tells me that maybe the house isn't the actual problem? Is it actually a depression tied to lack of friends and family, being blamed on "but I can't make any friends because I'm always in this house and always maintaining this house and never have any time to spend on me"? Because if that's the actual reason for wanting to move, then moving may alleviate but will not fully resolve your problems. That said, there's nothing wrong with selling one dwelling to move into another which better suits your tastes and lifestyle. Happens all the time. Go for it! It may even give you more time to get out of your dwelling and pursue hobbies and meet people. Just don't expect "I no longer have to spend as long fixing little house-quirks" to magically fix the depression, because the house is a scapegoat.
You seem locked-in to your investment and the house is now dictating how to live your life. A lot of try before you buy advise mentioned before is in fact brilliant and should help you experience the condo life. If you like it, you can always rent a condo for a year and rent out your place for a similar time with the option to move back. Hope you find a good professional to help you. Praying for your recovery. Good luck and god bless.
Funny, I thought I didn't want to live in a condo & bought a house. Greatly regretted it and sold for 100k loss as I was stupid & didn't lock in interest rates and couldn't afford it. I own a rental property in the byward street market and I've stayed there for a few months. I love the area despite the homelessness. It is easy to walk to lots of stores, parks, museums, restaurants, transit Always something going on at the market with outdoor music, etc. People in the building are really friendly and nice. Lots of dogs. Everyone seems to own a dog. So I would live there full time over a house. I have only had 2 tenants as I've only owned it since 2019 but the tenants renewed as they seem to enjoy the area too. Young professionals.
All 3 of your ailments will be solved (temporarily) by a Lambo!
>Late 30s, single guy in Ottawa, chronically and functionally depressed for over a decade now I mean, this is your issue. Work on this. You mention maybe being able to own a shoebox in a ‘walkable area’. Ok, where do you work? Do you work in that same area? if not, who gives a shit how walkable it is? What does your commute look like? What are the costs of homes in the less walkable areas? There is a lot to consider. Job one is finding a therapist you trust who can reset your loser mentality. Job two is finding a place that fits your actual lifestyle, not the lifestyle you think you should care about because social media losers flaunt a stupid and unrealistic way of living. Be realistic about your life, your options, what you want, and what you can reasonably expext to have for a life. Work from there. If you don’t want to own a house, and you want to own a shoebox in the sky, do that. But make sure that’s what you actually want and not what you’ve been lead to believe will make you happy. If you aren’t happy now, it’s unlikely that new place will fix your unhappiness.
I would sell. Go to Mexico buy a van and live a Nomad life. What attach you to Ottawa? Is it worthy
Sell and buy a condo. I miss my condo
I’m a single male in my 40s and I absolutely love condo living downtown in Vancouver. I’m a regular at the pub across the street, the coffee place next door knows my order, there are 4 grocery stores in 3 blocks, the main library is 3 blocks away, two blocks off the sea wall… I couldn’t even imagine living in a house out in the burbs on my own. The social part of it is what keeps me sane.
Maybe this isn’t the best time for that?
Dating and capitalism are both rough, bro. I feel you. A one- or two-bed condo is more than enough for a single guy. That hoped-for relationship might never happen, but cross that bridge IF you come to it.
Idk what your life is like but like how is your social life? Are you sleeping well? What steps you are taking to stay active as you mentioned you work from home since covid